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User: Provocateur

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  1. It's time to create NEW jobs, not rehash old ones on 'Reskilling Revolution Needed for the Millions of Jobs at Risk Due To Technological Disruption' (weforum.org) · · Score: 1

    Robot inspector, for one.

    Robot attendance checker.

    Robot dance instructor.

    Robot speech trainer. (Must they all speak in a dull.Shatner.impression. in.that.metallic.monotone?)

    Come on, I can't think of everything; I'm stuck in the *present*

  2. Re:I hate to break it to Facebook, but... on Facebook VP Says Company Won't Use Experts To Fix Fake News Because It is Worried About Criticism (theoutline.com) · · Score: 1

    Not to worry, a least Russian FB users won't say anything about it at all; for some reason they're too busy looking at what their friends are up to now (Who's dating Ivan now -- Ivana know, tovarisch!)

  3. A new meme on What a Government Shutdown Will Mean For NASA and SpaceX (theverge.com) · · Score: 1

    Houston, we're shutting down; will get back to you in a few

  4. Re:What? on Pedestrian Attacks Self-driving Car in the Mission (curbed.com) · · Score: 1

    A better headline would be ...in a place called 'the Mission' but that's not a slashdot editor's job.

  5. All your memo belong to us on Instant Messaging Company Snap Threatens Jail Time for Leakers (cheddar.com) · · Score: 1

    I don' t think these are military secrets. But, hey, you signed up.

    Free pingpong tables and lunches but even your silent but deadly farts, or 'careless whispers' in the company elevator, can get blown out of proportion.

  6. Having trouble *finding* them? on Google Starts Certificate Program To Fill Empty IT Jobs (axios.com) · · Score: 4, Funny

    Don't look in the usual places e.g. SV, SF
    Have you looked in the basement?

    Better yet, have you looked in abandoned properties, condemned buildings, former crackhouses, houses razed or burnt and slated for demolition, or even checked the basement with infrared scanners that locate heat signatures?

  7. New Sign (for the times) on Is Pop Music Becoming Louder, Simpler and More Repetitive? (bbc.co.uk) · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Get your music off my lawn

  8. A foolish move on Apple Updates macOS and iOS To Address Spectre Vulnerability (engadget.com) · · Score: 1

    Is Apple saying That's okay, Intel, we got your back and let the giant go with a pat on the derriere?

  9. Last PR stunt on GoPro Quits the Drone Business (theverge.com) · · Score: 1

    Well PR to tech geeks, at least.

    The headlines would read

    Karma crashes into Slashdot headquarters!

    Upon investigation, it was revealed that the storage facility was *not "Slashdot headquarters".

  10. Stop it people! Stop Insignificant postings!!

  11. Congratulations to Linux Journal, for being the first Undead journal, and Happy New Year, best of luck in continuing fine tech journalism

    Many thanks to those l33t ha>0rz of PIA for this noble gesture. I wish to subscribe to your newsletter, or just send me a link =]

    All the best to each of these parties, for this year

  12. I propose new emergency numbers then on Cash Might Be King, but They Don't Care (nytimes.com) · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    911 will still get you the ambulance straight to ER

    but soon these rideshares will take you to ER, but since you came on your own, there might be a long wait. So be prepared, and dial

    912 drive thru Taco Bell, then head to ER (perhaps with new emergency)
    913 drive thru BK, then ER
    914 drive thru KFC, then ER
    etc.
     
    We can also provide fixed order e.g.

    916 Chicken Quesadilla at Taco Bell drive thru then ER
    917 Big Bucket at KFC drive thru then ER

    Sorry, no flashing lights on any of these

  13. Re:No good dead goes unpunished on Ask Slashdot: When Is the Right Time To Discuss Retirement With Your Employer? · · Score: 1

    And if it just so happens that having you around is in line with their best interests, the company will see to it that they make that possibility happen. The details will work themselves out -- don't be surprised if you will be asked to participate in this part of the discussion, though.

  14. Not when I'm in the movie theater on Your Phone May Send You 'Blue Alerts' To Warn You When Local Police Are In Danger (androidpolice.com) · · Score: 1

    Because Frankly My dear, I don't give a damn!

  15. Re:What is the solution to printing rarely? on Ask Slashdot: Do You Print Too Little? · · Score: 2

    Agreed; and he said LASER Printer. Not Laserjet nor inkjet wannabes.

    We're talking laser here, newbies. As in

    Bond: Do you expect me to talk?

    Goldfinger: No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!

    *THAT* kind of "up-his-crown jewels" death ray laser.

  16. Re:What about respect? on Japan Opens First Drive-through Funeral Service (japantimes.co.jp) · · Score: 1

    Agreed; the person in question, was a good friend, and an excellent boss.

    When I met the widow and their children, one of the sons' eyes lit up, and said, 'Mom, he's the guy Dad always talked about!'

    His mother explained He always talked about you

    I was surprised that they remembered somebody they hadn't met; I was glad to have been there -- I regretted not talking about that great guy, because I might say something off-color.

  17. Read aloud, yes, but whose voice? on Reading Information Aloud To Yourself Improves Memory (qz.com) · · Score: 1

    There should have been a segment in that study where reading aloud in the voice of the Simpson's comic book guy skews the statistics adversely, creating the opposite effect.

  18. I got my first Linux ISO from the coverdisc on Linux Journal Ceases Publication (linuxjournal.com) · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Didn't have a 'fat pipe' nor a fast one either, back in the day.

    It's incredible that she was able to keep it going this long

    And sold with physical media (cd or dvd) off the stands!

    Plus all the tech articles it was filled with, that outnumbered the ads. It will be missed.

    It was a good run. Best of luck to the people who made it all work and muchas gracias.

  19. We discussed this back in 2005 on Stop Using Excel, Finance Chiefs Tell Staffs (wsj.com) · · Score: 5, Informative

    Back in 2005, it was not about being on different systems, but there was an article entitled The subtle tyranny of spreadsheets and link https://tech.slashdot.org/stor....

  20. gee thanks on New Study Suggests We Don't Understand Supervolcanoes (sciencealert.com) · · Score: 0

    Like we don't understand why someone would choose a nick like FrostyPis--oh,wait. I got it. Never mind

  21. There is no respawn

  22. And the good news is... on CERN Scientists Conclude that the Universe Should Not Exist (ign.com) · · Score: 1

    "Whew! Thank goodness we're not living in that universe!"

  23. The extension's author claims he was "hacked" and the code added without his knowledge

    your intellectuality bankrupt.

    Head explodes* *

  24. I thought I had gone *emo* on How Flying Seriously Messes With Your Mind and Body (bbc.com) · · Score: 2

    I was crying not because of the inflight movie, I was crying because of all the movies to choose from they *HAD* to pick Sisters of the Traveling Pants!

    I wept because it was a 20-hour flight to Manila, from Houston. And I bought a round trip ticket, which meant I was going to watch it THREE MORE TIMES!!

  25. Multiple Voice assistants? on Sonos To Launch a Wireless Speaker That Would Support Multiple Voice Assistants (yahoo.com) · · Score: 1

    I want Multiple Voice Assassins!

    So that I can become an instant criminal mastermind overnight.