User: plorqk

Makes you want to catch crabs

On: Increased Carbon Emissions Creating Giant Crabs

That was worded that way intentionally.

Windows 8 = New Fruitcake?

On: Windows 8: a 'Christmas Gift For Someone You Hate'

Is windows 8 now the new fruitcake you send to people you dislike?

Hey!

On: Duke Nukem Forever Release Date Revealed

What's with the delays?

Sound like one of Qwest's own slogans:

On: DSL Installation Fail

Service inaction.

Really it's Service in action but it sounds like the former when you hear it outloud.

Until I get more txt messages I'll pay it

On: OMG Did U C What U R Paying 4 Texting?

Sprint wants to sell me 2 or 3 hundred text messages per month for $5. The most I've ever received in a month is 11. So until I start receiving more than 25/mo I won't cough up the extra $5/mo.

Of course .hk is bad it's full of assassin droids

On: McAfee Picks the Most Dangerous TLDs

Damn you HK-47.

I'm available to do that

On: The Curse of Knowledge Bogs Down Innovation

Sign me up. I want a job like that.

but I thought...

On: Everybody Loves the Wii

Everyone loved Katamari Damacy.

Re:Hand holding.

On: What Do Geek Squad Technicians Actually Do?

At least you'll get more service out of a mormon than the Geek Squad.

Connections and The Day the Universe Changed?

On: The Power of Accidental Discoveries

Isn't a lot of accidental discovery in these series?

Yea it's called...

On: Possible Antibiotic for MRSA Superbug

Death. The grand panacea.

VoIP humor

On: AOL to Enter the VoIP Ring

I've been playing Oblivion a lot lately. When I saw the headline about VoIP Ring I thought of this:

You've equipped the Ring of VoIP.

What kind of stats would it have? Mind Reading?

confusion

On: DirectX 10 & the Future of Gaming

Direct X X? Doesn't that equal 20?

What's next? A Steve Bartman replay?

On: Videogame Remake of 1986's World Series Game 6

if you want to dig up bad memories, how about that one?

As long as...

On: New Patent on TV Forces You to Watch Ads

They still let me mute it and/or change the channel I don't care.

Glad I wasn't the only one...

On: Scientists Find Doublehelix at Center of Milky Way

who thought of 2001 (and the Simpsons) when I read that headline.

You can report Phishing scams too

On: GMail Adds Virus Protection

I just noticed that today. Hopefully I'll be getting less of those damn emails form some credit union that say I need to update my account information.

Don't steal my stories

On: USPTO Issues Provisional Storyline Patent

I already wrote a story about patenting religion. Hope nobody comes along and tries to patent religion or patent my story cause I'll fight it.

what no footage

On: Doom Movie Might Not Be Terrible

Nobody has the preview footage?

They can buy me out anytime

On: Who Will Google Buy Next?

I'm available for corporate sponsorship.

I have to share my birthday with Yahoo?

On: Yahoo Turns 10; Free Ice Cream for America

I like sharing it with Dr. Seuss, Gorby, Jon Bon Jovi.

It's also TX independence day (where I was born!)

happy birthday to me (and Yahoo!)

I plan on patenting religion

On: How to Fix U.S. Patents

that way you'll have to pay to get into heaven (sound familiar?)

so am I insane?

On: How to Fix U.S. Patents

I want to be a patent examiner.

Re:Yahoo! doesn't like Linux users apparently

On: Hitchhikers Movie Update

Worked for me in firefox 1.0 with quicktime installed.

Re:I got one of these letters

On: Comcast Warns Infringing Customers Of Abuse

I don't have other options for broadband. Too far away for DSL. I question the legality of the methods used to acquire the inforomation.