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User: jjeffries

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Comments · 360

  1. that's punny... on Biden Reveals Location of Secret VP Bunker · · Score: 1

    The Naval Observatory?

    So it's not inaccurate to call the VP a "Naval gazer"?

  2. isn't the real expense on Work Resumes On Virtual Fence With Mexico · · Score: 1

    Isn't the real expense going to be in putting the beep/shock collars on all those Mexicans?

  3. Re:Announcment! on GE Introduces 500GB Holographic Disks · · Score: 1

    Google can do that for ye.

    http://www.google.com/search?&q=270%2C588%2C200GB+x+900+km%2Fh

  4. Given all the terror that was caused... on Air Force One Flyby Causes Brief Panic In NYC · · Score: 1

    we'll shortly see all involved prosecuted as terrorists, right?

  5. Containerized! on UPS, Generators Join Servers For Boxed Data Centers · · Score: 1

    This is exactly the second time I've seen the word "containerized" used in print.

    The first time was when I moved into an apartment in a new town some years ago, and when I got the trash pick-up set up they gave me a piece of paper with trash and recycling info on it, which included the lovely sentence "all garbage must be containerized."

    WELL DONE!

  6. Re:follow the money. on Conficker Worm Could Create World's Biggest Botnet · · Score: 2, Funny

    "smappers" is a lovely word and should be given a meaning at once!

  7. no touchie on Good Cross-Platform Speech-Recognition Programs? · · Score: 1

    "I find that I am unable to physically touch my computer"

    This makes computer sad. :(

  8. phantom keypresses on Why Your Clock Radio Is All Abuzz About iPhones · · Score: 1

    Forget radio chatter... I'm always putting my cell phone (it's not a jesus-phone) down on my desk, around my keyboard or mouse cables, or resting it on the shelf-like bit on the back side of my IBM clicky keyboards. On more than one occasion I have had incoming calls "type" on the keyboard or "click" the mouse buttons--that could be REALLY BAD depending on what I'm doing at the time.

    If your dentist or pilot tells you to turn off your cell phone... listen to them!

  9. for nasa: Evergreen 486 - Pentium on Hubble Repairs Hindered By Antiquated Computer Systems · · Score: 1

    Hey NASA, I still have some old Evergreen 486 to Pentium conversion chips in my cpu junk box... pop out that old, tired 486, stick this puppy in the socket, and you're good to go with (the equivalent of) 75mhz Pentium power!

    Here's a timely article all about it.

    Just let me know if you want them. Some moon rocks or dust in return would be cool, if you've got any to spare, but no problem if not.

  10. Re:Ownership of the network on SCOTUS To Hear Small ISPs' Case Against AT&T · · Score: 1

    Where I am, the power company owns the local poles and they are divided up into three parts--power, cable, and phone. Verizon rents _all_ the "phone" space on all the poles--somehow it's theirs by default--and if an ISP wants to put up their own fiber or copper, they have to go through Verizon to lease the space, which is, of course, loads of fun.

  11. I'd like to smoke what he's smoking. on Bill Gates Reveals Secret of Microsoft's Success · · Score: 0

    He's smoking G-13, dude. $2,000 an eighth (~3.5g, you furiners). It's genetically engineered by the U.S. Government. It's extremely potent, but a completely mellow high. No paranoia.

  12. Re:Even scarier... on SCOTUS Grants Guantanamo Prisoners Habeas Corpus · · Score: 1

    Well, now we know which four "justices" Hate American Freedom (tm) and therefore should be spending some time (oh, say, the rest of their lives) being humiliated in prison. At least these four black-robed terrorists will have their constitutional rights there, when the time comes.

  13. I'm the moon on New Method Discovered For Making Telescopes On the Moon · · Score: 1

    When you are the moon, there is a person people say is the sun. I saw the sun once, and he came past me, really fast. And it was an, it was called, the, an eclipse. And he came fast! But as he came past, I, I licked his back.

    And he doesn't know I licked his back! All in his yellow suit!

    I'm the moon.

  14. the new dr. who sucks... on Use BitTorrent To Verify, Clean Up Files · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    But Torchwood is usually pretty good, imho.

  15. Re:Are you kidding me?? on The End of Non-Widescreen Laptops? · · Score: 1, Funny

    "Here, let me give you a head start down the stairs *SHOVE*" PUSHING will protect you!
  16. Re:When will they learn on Apple Sued Over Fundamental iTunes Model · · Score: 0

    That will happen as soon as government ceases to be a make-work program for lawyers...

  17. Re:Sweet on Canon Files For DSLR Iris Registration Patent · · Score: 3, Funny

    Yeah, that's awesome, I was getting sick of ripping eyes out with a ballpoint every time I needed to defeat an iris scan... it really screws up the pen!

  18. Re:brazil is insane on Cisco Offices Raided, Execs Arrested In Brazil · · Score: 1

    Yeah, a mistake anyone could make. Who hasn't accidentally shipped their goods via the BVI?

    bridge-group virtual interface? I use it all the time...

    (-1, both inane and obscure)

  19. Re:Feline body temperature?? on Inside Nvidia's Testing Facilities · · Score: 4, Funny

    Well then rest assured that if you wanted to implant a GPU in your cat, the Nvidia would handle your pussy's heat (other problems notwithstanding.)

  20. it's just danny dunn on Dragonfly-Sized Insect Spies Spotted, Denied · · Score: 4, Informative
  21. from engligh to japanese and back by google trans on Copier Auto-Translates Japanese to English · · Score: 1, Redundant

    "Wildness. Fuji drew up the photocopying machine which automatically translates the document from English from Japanese. That is the clean nut. With respect to appearance, as for the copier the text, as for OCR what kind of section text, to send that to the translation engine, and in the place English". You reset, or can grasp

  22. so tell me... on Yahoo Edges out Google in Customer Satisfaction · · Score: 1

    What are we "consuming" when we visit one of these sites? It seems like the advertisers are the consumers and we, the page-viewers and click-throughers, are the product...

  23. on a semi-related note... on HP to Researchers, 'Our Printers Are Safe' · · Score: 5, Funny

    I was doing some "all-purpose geek" work-study for my school's IT dept some years ago. One day another work-study student gets mind to clean out one of our shop's big laser printers... with an air compressor.

    POOF! went the jet of air, and a black toner cloud started to flow from the printer... and it kept coming and coming... the boss said, "everyone get out NOW" and closed the door behind us.

    We weren't allowed in there again until men in fancy white suits swabbed down the entire room and the hundreds of PCs and parts within. Good times!

  24. but where... on NASA Purchases $19M Russian Space Toilet · · Score: 3, Funny

    Where is the little shelf where they keep the three seashells?

  25. If they're doing Norway... on Military Running a Parallel Earth Simulator · · Score: 4, Funny

    I do hope they get the fjords right... lovely crinkly edges...