I graduated from college with a history degree at the ass-end of the 90s, and quickly learned that history jobs are few and far between. I poked around for a few months until I realized that rent had to be paid every month, not just once, and took a job in customer service. Eight hours a day on a headset, taking nonstop calls from people too stupid to figure out how to place an order online.
I wasn't too worried about zombies at the time; who would be? The dot-com bubble was still blowing, and everyone liked the feeling.
Six months into it, I harbored a bitter hatred for my coworkers, my managers, and the executives of the company. I was convinced I could do anyone's job better than they could. I was right, too, because they were brain-dead morons and I, as a recent college graduate, knew everything there was to know. My degree said so, after all.
I lucked into a position in software quality assurance, which was at the ass-end of that company's development process. Still no zombies, except for a manager who slept at his desk for a few hours every morning, but I was able to get around that. Over the years, the department grew, I was promoted once or twice, and things were working out pretty well. There was some management turnover, which is to be expected, but the real killer was when management turnover had reached the point where my department was sharing a manager with a development team in another city.
David (note: not his real name) would work Tues-Thurs with my team, and then Friday-Monday in a city six hours away. This half-assed management was the killer for me, even though he was using his whole ass, as far as I could tell. In order to demonstrate to his managers that he was a dutiful middle management worker bee, he held daily status meetings when he was in the office, and daily status conference calls when he was out. Dilbert jokes and Office Space references abounded.
I think it was at this point when I saw the first zombie.
Gabe (note: not his real name) was a coworker in the department who moved over to the infrastructure team. He was the one who pointed out the zombie. My first thought was it was just another dev who worked all night and slept in his clothes, but Gabe carefully pointed out the severed arm that the zombie carried and the shotgun blast in his chest. It didn't bother me, though, so I shrugged it off. Our stock price was still high, and the employee stock purchase plan was a gold mine.
There were a few more zombies in the days after that. One of the sales guys tried to take a bite out of me, and I was really tempted to punch him, but I knew that it probably would result in my termination, and I still wanted my health bennies. I managed to duck away and tip a chair over, which trapped him in the cubicle. I stayed away from Sales for a while after that.
I also stopped going to HR to drop off paperwork such as vacation requests and 401k participation forms. One of the HR drones was a zombie and kept lunging at me, so I'd get around that just by sliding the form under the door. Yeah, occasionally I'd get a nastygram saying that the other HR workers had to get the paper away from the zombie, but that wasn't my problem.
But like I said, it was the half-assed management. I was put on a team of employees dedicated to a specific client to keep them from getting even more pissed at us. Me, a few devs, a project manager or two, and some outsourced testers in India who reported to me. This was pretty cool, up until the PMs in the group turned into zombies and wouldn't tell us what the hell the client wanted. I complained to my manager, but he was in Chicago at the time, and all he would say was stuff like, "Help me," and "Please help me," and "Oh god, they're eating me."
I really needed more support from my manager then. The ideal manager runs interference for you and lets you do your job, provides an environment where you can develop your skills, and rewards good performance. David (note: still not his real name) spent alm
Should I order all my credit file disclosures at one time or space them out over 12 months? You are entitled to receive one free credit file disclosure every 12 months from each of the nationwide consumer credit reporting companies through the Central Source. It is entirely your choice whether you order all three credit file disclosures at the same time or order one now and others later. The advantage of ordering all three at the same time is that you can compare them. (However, you will not be eligible for another free credit file disclosure from the Central Source for 12 months.) On the other hand, the advantage of ordering one now and others later (for example, one credit file disclosure every four months) is that you can keep track of any changes or new information that may appear on your credit file disclosure. Remember, you are entitled to receive one free credit file disclosure through the Central Source every 12 months from each of the nationwide consumer credit reporting companies - Equifax, Experian and TransUnion - so if you order from only one company today you can still order from the other two companies at a later date.
In the third level of the game, when you're going through the ruins of 3D Realms' corporate headquarters, type "idd3d" and you'll get to play Duke Nukem Forever.
I currently play SW:G with two good friends. We group together occasionally, and they're steadily grinding through professions to unlock their force-sensitive slot (that is, to have the ability to make a Jedi character). Being a Jedi holds absolutely no interest for me.
I can't be Han Solo, and I knew that going in. Instead, I'm Jawbone Mandible, owner and proprietor of McJawbone's Golden Mandibles, fast food to the galaxy. I can't even kill a crippled Ewok, but I can whip up some bio-engineered food that's in high demand. Want to take absolutely no damage from the next five attacks? Drink some Flameout; I'll sell you a glass of 6 drinks for only a couple hundred credits.
There are many players who desperately want to become the hero, have their lightsaber, pretend to be Darth Maul that they spend hours grinding boring professions to do it. There are those who want millions of credits so they can buy their way through some professions, and so they try to sell food at inflated prices.
I'm able to undersell them (fun for me!) and get a pile of money (more fun still!), and since I have absolutely nothing to do with it.. I've hit a wall.
If I wanted to be a Jedi, I'd burn through those tens of millions in a heartbeat. Since my friends want to be a Jedi, and they gave me some seed money to start when I created Jawbone, I give them a couple million credits apiece each week as 'investment dividends'. With the rest of it...
Well, want 100,000cr to jump into the Sarlacc pit and take a screenshot? Here ya go.
1,000cr for each second you can spend alive within melee range of a Krayt dragon?
500,000cr to the first player to race from Mos Espa on Tatooine to Jaxian Bay on Naboo, get an item from my friend acting as the relay point, and get back to me?
The list goes on. Basically, if you want to rewrite the saga, it ain't gonna happen. Everyone's gonna want to rewrite the saga. Barring a player lottery in which one lucky person gets to be Main Character Foo, you're relegated to a background character. Make the most of it, or play a different game.
If you don't want them tracking your name, then get your friend's older brother to loan you his ID, or hang around outside the store asking if someone will just pick you up a case.
In a move likely to antagonize the free software community even further, the SCO Group is to resume distributing Linux, but only if you agree to a new "IP license" which implicitly supports SCO's intellectual property claims.
Dear SCO, I am to resume encouraging you to agree to my "suck my wang" license which explicity supports my wang-sucking claims. Love, Me.
Cuong, Microsoft's Vietnam representative, acknowledges that open source poses a threat to commercial software companies. ``They give away innovation,'' he said.
Giving away innovation smacks of Communism. We need to invade Vietnam before this "giving away" idea spreads throughout Southeast Asia.
Soon Cambodia may start giving away innovation, and then Japan and Australia will be isolated and they'll fall as well.
My god.. it's like dominos.
Where are Robert McNamara and Henry Kissinger when you need them?
Slashdot Mirror
I graduated from college with a history degree at the ass-end of the 90s, and quickly learned that history jobs are few and far between. I poked around for a few months until I realized that rent had to be paid every month, not just once, and took a job in customer service. Eight hours a day on a headset, taking nonstop calls from people too stupid to figure out how to place an order online.
I wasn't too worried about zombies at the time; who would be? The dot-com bubble was still blowing, and everyone liked the feeling.
Six months into it, I harbored a bitter hatred for my coworkers, my managers, and the executives of the company. I was convinced I could do anyone's job better than they could. I was right, too, because they were brain-dead morons and I, as a recent college graduate, knew everything there was to know. My degree said so, after all.
I lucked into a position in software quality assurance, which was at the ass-end of that company's development process. Still no zombies, except for a manager who slept at his desk for a few hours every morning, but I was able to get around that. Over the years, the department grew, I was promoted once or twice, and things were working out pretty well. There was some management turnover, which is to be expected, but the real killer was when management turnover had reached the point where my department was sharing a manager with a development team in another city.
David (note: not his real name) would work Tues-Thurs with my team, and then Friday-Monday in a city six hours away. This half-assed management was the killer for me, even though he was using his whole ass, as far as I could tell. In order to demonstrate to his managers that he was a dutiful middle management worker bee, he held daily status meetings when he was in the office, and daily status conference calls when he was out. Dilbert jokes and Office Space references abounded.
I think it was at this point when I saw the first zombie.
Gabe (note: not his real name) was a coworker in the department who moved over to the infrastructure team. He was the one who pointed out the zombie. My first thought was it was just another dev who worked all night and slept in his clothes, but Gabe carefully pointed out the severed arm that the zombie carried and the shotgun blast in his chest. It didn't bother me, though, so I shrugged it off. Our stock price was still high, and the employee stock purchase plan was a gold mine.
There were a few more zombies in the days after that. One of the sales guys tried to take a bite out of me, and I was really tempted to punch him, but I knew that it probably would result in my termination, and I still wanted my health bennies. I managed to duck away and tip a chair over, which trapped him in the cubicle. I stayed away from Sales for a while after that.
I also stopped going to HR to drop off paperwork such as vacation requests and 401k participation forms. One of the HR drones was a zombie and kept lunging at me, so I'd get around that just by sliding the form under the door. Yeah, occasionally I'd get a nastygram saying that the other HR workers had to get the paper away from the zombie, but that wasn't my problem.
But like I said, it was the half-assed management. I was put on a team of employees dedicated to a specific client to keep them from getting even more pissed at us. Me, a few devs, a project manager or two, and some outsourced testers in India who reported to me. This was pretty cool, up until the PMs in the group turned into zombies and wouldn't tell us what the hell the client wanted. I complained to my manager, but he was in Chicago at the time, and all he would say was stuff like, "Help me," and "Please help me," and "Oh god, they're eating me."
I really needed more support from my manager then. The ideal manager runs interference for you and lets you do your job, provides an environment where you can develop your skills, and rewards good performance. David (note: still not his real name) spent alm
The first sign was when all of my free time was spent playing the game.
The second was when I neglected aspects of my life in order to play the game. (Skipped a class, was a no-show for a social engagement, et cetera.)
The third was when I looked forward to sleeping at the end of a night of gaming, because I could dream about the game.
The scariest thing was that I was playing Strawberry Shortcake Amazing Cookie Party. I didn't even know I needed help...
Nothing for you to see here. Please move along.
What, the asteroid already hit the servers?
FTFA:
Should I order all my credit file disclosures at one time or space them out over 12 months?
You are entitled to receive one free credit file disclosure every 12 months from each of the nationwide consumer credit reporting companies through the Central Source. It is entirely your choice whether you order all three credit file disclosures at the same time or order one now and others later. The advantage of ordering all three at the same time is that you can compare them. (However, you will not be eligible for another free credit file disclosure from the Central Source for 12 months.) On the other hand, the advantage of ordering one now and others later (for example, one credit file disclosure every four months) is that you can keep track of any changes or new information that may appear on your credit file disclosure. Remember, you are entitled to receive one free credit file disclosure through the Central Source every 12 months from each of the nationwide consumer credit reporting companies - Equifax, Experian and TransUnion - so if you order from only one company today you can still order from the other two companies at a later date.
In the third level of the game, when you're going through the ruins of 3D Realms' corporate headquarters, type "idd3d" and you'll get to play Duke Nukem Forever.
No, seriously! I swear!
It sounds so simple, doesn't it?
.. I've hit a wall.
...
I currently play SW:G with two good friends. We group together occasionally, and they're steadily grinding through professions to unlock their force-sensitive slot (that is, to have the ability to make a Jedi character). Being a Jedi holds absolutely no interest for me.
I can't be Han Solo, and I knew that going in. Instead, I'm Jawbone Mandible, owner and proprietor of McJawbone's Golden Mandibles, fast food to the galaxy. I can't even kill a crippled Ewok, but I can whip up some bio-engineered food that's in high demand. Want to take absolutely no damage from the next five attacks? Drink some Flameout; I'll sell you a glass of 6 drinks for only a couple hundred credits.
There are many players who desperately want to become the hero, have their lightsaber, pretend to be Darth Maul that they spend hours grinding boring professions to do it. There are those who want millions of credits so they can buy their way through some professions, and so they try to sell food at inflated prices.
I'm able to undersell them (fun for me!) and get a pile of money (more fun still!), and since I have absolutely nothing to do with it
If I wanted to be a Jedi, I'd burn through those tens of millions in a heartbeat. Since my friends want to be a Jedi, and they gave me some seed money to start when I created Jawbone, I give them a couple million credits apiece each week as 'investment dividends'. With the rest of it
Well, want 100,000cr to jump into the Sarlacc pit and take a screenshot? Here ya go.
1,000cr for each second you can spend alive within melee range of a Krayt dragon?
500,000cr to the first player to race from Mos Espa on Tatooine to Jaxian Bay on Naboo, get an item from my friend acting as the relay point, and get back to me?
The list goes on. Basically, if you want to rewrite the saga, it ain't gonna happen. Everyone's gonna want to rewrite the saga. Barring a player lottery in which one lucky person gets to be Main Character Foo, you're relegated to a background character. Make the most of it, or play a different game.
If you don't want them tracking your name, then get your friend's older brother to loan you his ID, or hang around outside the store asking if someone will just pick you up a case.
Come now, our youth wasn't that long ago, was it?
I hope they don't model my apartment, or else anyone can login and find out where I've hidden my porn.
Somehow I suspect the 1-800 tech support line at the end of the manual isn't ringing any more. Lifetime support my ass...
Q: Then who are you going to sue?
.. six billion people in the world, $699/license, that means they'll stop suing once they get $4,194,000,000,000.
...
A: The honest answer is we don't know. Conceivably, if everyone steps up and buys a license, we don't need to.
Let's see
You can never accuse Darl of lacking a grand vision
Look, they should just get a methane reactor going, and come by my place after a trip to La Casa Del Taco.
The only trouble with the moon will be when I drop my pants at them.
Monkeys failed to fly out of my butt.
I'm not convinced they're unrelated.
Yogurt: God willing, we'll all meet again in Spaceballs II: The Search For More Money.
Is there no quality control there?
11 Larry Flynt, build a porn browser It should cover our tracks coming and going.
I think we all know that should read "coming and coming".
Apocalypse .. imminent! Must .. warn .. the world! Somehow .. life .. being drained .. from my body!
A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *gasp* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
The US sluffed off and stayed out of most of the war
The war began with Germany invading Poland on September 1, 1939.
The US joined the war a few short days after Pearl Harbor was attacked on December 7, 1941.
World War II came to a close in August 1945.
The US "sluffed off and stayed out" for 26 months, and fought for 44 months, which is a clear majority of the war.
SCO's just cranky because they're no longer the highest match for linux.
...but what if you like the audio CD? what if you prefer lossless music, with coverart, booklet and printed media you can hold in your hand?
Why do you hate America so much? Opposition is unpatriotic, you know.
Penile shrinkage from the electromagnetic field of the phone clipped to your belt.
Penile enlargement spams coming to the phone.
It's a symbiotic relationship, really.
In a move likely to antagonize the free software community even further, the SCO Group is to resume distributing Linux, but only if you agree to a new "IP license" which implicitly supports SCO's intellectual property claims.
Dear SCO,
I am to resume encouraging you to agree to my "suck my wang" license which explicity supports my wang-sucking claims.
Love,
Me.
PS- No teeth.
Cuong, Microsoft's Vietnam representative, acknowledges that open source poses a threat to commercial software companies. ``They give away innovation,'' he said.
.. it's like dominos.
Giving away innovation smacks of Communism. We need to invade Vietnam before this "giving away" idea spreads throughout Southeast Asia.
Soon Cambodia may start giving away innovation, and then Japan and Australia will be isolated and they'll fall as well.
My god
Where are Robert McNamara and Henry Kissinger when you need them?
Does he address how to surf Slashdot during business hours without being caught?
So far my best reaction is to begin shrieking like a schoolgirl and I don't think that's going to work out long-term.
He seemed less than stunned by the notion that a product advertised via spam might not be all that it was claimed to be
.. mean .. th-..that the hot hot young barely legal teenage vixen sluts ... DON'T really want me?
..
..
You
But the nice man in the email said
He
God, my life sucks.
SkyNet is becoming self-aware.
No complaints about the post itself, but what sort of asinine moderator marks the First Post as "Redundant?"