Except for that line of 50 cars behind your bike-pedaling ass. They're all blowing veins in their foreheads because the goddamn speed limit is fucking 55 goddamn miles per hour and some SHITPOT on a fucking mountain bike is in their way when they just want to get home so they can drink a glass of bourbon and watch some Letterman, for christsakes, is that too fucking much to ask from you kids these days on your GODDAMN MOUNTAIN BIKES and your FUCKING RAZOR SCOOTERS and your DAMNED ROLLERSKATES, when all I want to do is finish my fucking commute and see if maybe I can get a piece of tang from my wife who's been all, "Oh, it's that time of the month and anyway I have a headache and feel all bloated" when I know goddamn well that her last period was only two weeks ago and there's no Playtex wrappers in the bathroom trashcan besides, and the damn kids are all whiny about how mean I'm being when I ground them because they didn't do their goddamn homework again, and then they start telling me all about how when Uncle Steve comes over during the day to visit Mommy that he's much nicer than I am, and then I have to go back into the bedroom and there's my cheating tramp of a wife on the phone -- with STEVE, Steve my best friend for nine years and I took his dog to the vet when it got hit by one of you goddamn CYCLISTS and bled all over the brand new top-grain Italian leather interior, Steve who was the best man at my wedding and helped me cover it up when Tommy Myers OD'ed at the bachelor party, and now he's on the phone with my GODDAMN WIFE and I know what I have to do, which I is why I kept my pistol all nice and clean and loaded in the first place, and when that first round explodes forth from the barrel, all pyrotechnic magic and cordite, it's like the first time I was ever with her and I couldn't control myself and it was all over before she even had her blouse unbuttoned, for christsakes, and now she's dead in a puddle of blood and I'm screaming into the phone, "Did you hear that, Steve, old buddy OLD PAL?! I'm coming for you next!"
On second thought, maybe I'll just stay at work and put in a little overtime.
Maybe because in countries with lots of guns, we're also better at determining who needs a good killing, and thus common sense is matched with ready means.
Because they're so busy trying to compile their kernel and write crappy Microsoft look-alike programs for Lunix that they don't have time to have a job. Although it's interesting that the l33t Lunix h4XX0rz in your area actually leave their parents' basements to beg for money; most of the h4XX0rz that live in my area do it online.
time to bring the big "J-Man" back for another round
Dude, everyone hates reunion tours. Besides, he'll never be as good as he was with the original disciples.
Although a thought occurred to me the other day: if you or I were to rise from the dead after three days of rotting, people would run screaming from us like little bitches. Because there's a word for people who come back from the dead: Zombies.
That's right, the "savior" to millions of people is nothing more than an extra in a George Romero nightmare. Remember: Jesus died for your sins, but he rose for your sweeet braaaaaaains!
As I was reading the article, I was thinking that picoradio would make an excellent addition to a modern soldier's loadout. As low-power as they are, the transceivers could be used to share data within the small-unit level without radiating enough energy to alert an enemy.
Combine these with the Army's Intervehicular Information System (IVIS), and commanders would have real-time, accurate information on the location of not just every tank, APC, and field artillery piece on the battlefield, but also each soldier. It would definitely work to reduce the number of friendly fire incidents that occur in a future conflict.
Plus, you could connect them to biomonitor equipment that would allow medic teams to both locate and triage injured personnel much faster.
If he's not, I will. Mark David Chapman should be a national hero. Hell, maybe even a world hero. He did us all a favor by eradicating one more hippie who thought that merely by wishing the world were a place where "like, just sitting down and talking, man," would actually solve any problems, he could make it so. Seriously, listen to the lyrics to "Imagine." Lennon was a twit (and a hack lyricist to boot). Now listen to the lyrics to "The Ballad of the Green Berets" (SSG Barry Sadler, I believe). That's good American music!
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for diplomacy; negotiations that will stop armed conflict before it starts are a Good Thing. But sometimes you have to give war a chance (apologies to P.J. O'Rourke).
Here's to you, Mark David Chapman, for having the courage to do what so many others couldn't.
If you decided to go with steganographic methods, just remember not to encrypt your pr0n images into other pr0n images. Next time I'm going to use cute pictures of puppies or those damned Anne Geddes pictures or something...
Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Tell me, when you hope that your CornWholed nutsacks expand in practical use, is that merely a description of the total number of nutsack users, or is that also a description of the carrying capacity of the sack?
Kill?! Can't they find a peaceful way?!
on
Killing Rats with GPS
·
· Score: 2, Funny
Those terrible park officials! They're having those poor rats put to death when all of Ghod's creatures are sacred! What they should do is organize a nice conference where the rats and the seabirds can sit down and air their grievances peacefully, in a spirit of mutual harmony and understanding.
Seriously, this is pretty cool. Any time technology increases mankind's killing power, I've got to cheer a little bit. After the rats, how about some pigeons (also known as the "gutter bird" and the "winged rat," according to Kent Brockman)?
Re:Only because you're a hypersensitive twit.
on
Chase the Rabbits
·
· Score: 1, Offtopic
Thanks, I'm just depressed that it got modded up. I went on full-up psycho mode there and the mods didn't even have the common goddamn courtesy to bitchslap me for it.
I tell ya, I spend all this time whoring to hit the cap, just so I can go on an extended karma burn, and it completely backfires. Jebus.
Only because you're a hypersensitive twit.
on
Chase the Rabbits
·
· Score: 5, Insightful
Okay, I've got karma to burn (not that lack of it's ever stopped me before).
Lighten the ever-loving fuck up! These guys are the salt of the earth -- I should know; I served in the military myself. And to rebut your histrionic simpering, I present the following points:
[H]ow many people (innocents, no less) have been killed[?] Not nearly as many as you think. Innocents are protected under the Laws of Armed Conflict, and {God|Allah|Buddha|Bob} help the soldier caught harassing, molesting, or injuring a non-combatant. You will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the Uniform Code of Military Justice -- and the time you'll serve in a federal military penitentiary is hard time.
Uptight: Maybe sometimes...like when we're at fucking attention! If he's not in a formation, a soldier would much rather be sitting than standing, lying down than sitting, and asleep much more than awake.
Anti-homosexual: You've got a little bit of a point there. However, I'm gay, and it never bothered my coworkers a bit.
Redneck:Au contraire, the average soldier is much more likely to be a tough kid from the barrio or a New England swamp Yankee than a redneck, at least in my experience. The occasional redneck I dealt with was almost universally the subject of pity from his more erudite compatriots.
Bloodthirsty: To borrow from Tom Clancy, "Most of the Marines I know prefer beer." The soldiers I've known who had real combat time didn't glorify their experiences in the least. War is a savage and brutal act, the final extension of foreign policy, and its practitioners are sometimes required to undertake dangerous or distasteful tasks. Nonetheless, sometimes diplomacy fails (in the current case, when a bunch of religious zombies decided to turn the deaths of thousands of innocent people -- of all nations -- into a bloody public statement of hatred). When it does fail, soldiers must make war with justice, practiced skill, and swift surety, but never with unchecked agression.
Automatons: The ultimate soldier is one who is capable of making intelligent and rational decisions with a minimum of oversight from his chain of command. Although ultimately responsible to his superiors for his actions and the actions of those under his command, a soldier must have the capacity to operate independently of his superiors, and the wisdom to meet the mission goals with his operations plan. Automatons are what other nations use as cannon fodder.
Have Afghan civilians died? Certainly. That's the nature of war. Sometimes people die in combat. Sometimes those people have done nothing wrong. But the goal of the United States is not the wholesale slaughter of innocents; to the contrary, we've gone out of our way to ensure their safety time and again. And as for Israelis slaughtering Palestinians, I'd call the last, oh, 96 hours or so in Israel a pretty good indication of who the aggressors are. While one side attempts to negotiate in good faith, the other side is setting of suicide bombs in public places. Who's the good guy to you?
Next time you want to whimper about how terrible the U.S. military is, remember that their mission is to act as guarantors of freedom not merely for the U.S., but for the world. Sometimes the mere threat of their use is enough to cause aggressive individuals to reconsider. Sometimes we actually have to show the intestinal fortitude to use them. And sometimes, every once in a while, I wish they'd call in airstrikes on idiot hippies like you.
Every day, our drivers use their DIAD (Delivery Information Acquisition Device) IIIs to track the millions of packages delivered and picked up. They're wireless, but in the event that they're out of RF range, the information is buffered and then re-transmitted by the DIAD Vehicle Adapter (DVA), which also provides trickle charge capabilities. If all else fails, the DIAD can transfer its batch at the end of the day when it's placed in its cradle at the center.
We don't currently have GPS in the DIAD III, but the prototype DIAD IVs (which run on PocketPC 2002...ugh) do. They'll not only give drivers who lose their way directions to the next delivery destination, they will also broadcast their location back to the center, which will allow center supervisors and managers to determine more efficient driving routes and coverage areas.
ObDisclaimer: The first bit of this may seem to wander a bit offtopic, but it'll be relevant by the end. <UsedCarSalesGrin> Trust me.</UsedCarSalesGrin>
I once had my best friend tell me I was morbid and quite possibly insane when I detailed what I want done with my corpse.
It's not all that terrible, I think. For the past three years or so, I've really thought that it would be cool to have a webcam mounted inside my coffin (powerlines and networking cable and all that run to it too, of course). After I die, I want people to be able to log on to a website and check my decomposition.
The University of Tennessee, I believe it is, maintains a forensic "Body Farm" where hundreds of corpses are decomposing in various conditions. It's closed to the public (for obvious reasons), but I think there should be a little more openness in society about the mechanics of death. It's fascinating because it's so secretive. I think by mounting a small light and a webcam inside my coffin, it might give the world a fresh perspective on thanatology.
Of course, maintaining the site would cost some money, and I won't exactly be around to earn any. Thanks to Slashdot, I now know that Acclaim will be the first company for whom I'll do a salespitch. Any other takers?
I work for UPS, and we're currently working with the Teamsters Union on contract negotiations for all of our union employees. FedEx has taken the opportunity to lure some of our current customers away from us, by talking up the possibility of another strike like the one in '97. It's so remote as to be almost an impossibility (that strike caused a huge financial dent in the Teamsters' strike reserves), but it doesn't stop them from using it as a marketing tool.
Should UPS sue FedEx over their sales force's marketing tactics? I don't think so. Most of my fellow employees don't think so either. We'll simply press on and complete the negotiations, while we continue delivering the packages, same as always. If we can't, we sink. Simple as that.
Business is a fairly brutal Darwinian process sometimes, and if Compuware can't handle the fact that IBM's sales weasels are slick fast-talkers, maybe they should find another line of work. I hear that selling watercress sandwiches in front of the airport is pretty lucrative...
This reminds me of when I lived in Germany -- we used to watch religiously a TV program called Bitte Lächeln (roughly translated, Say Cheese!). I don't know if it's still on, but it used to air on RTL2 at 1800 CET, right after Rück Zuck. It's sort of like that "Germany's Most Disturbing Home Videos" sketch they had on Sprockets once. No matter who was in competition for the DM5000, the winner was always the video in which the {subject|victim} endured the most agonizing pain. Animal bites on the genitals were always a mortal lock.
Anyway, I'm glad to hear that the wonderfully German concept of Schadenfreude is being shared with the gaming world. Incidentally, who wants to quote me some odds on how long it'll take for someone to rewire the PEU to attach to more sensitive bits?
Actually, think for just a second: do you really want the sort of people who would half-ass the assembly of a railgun to breed? Personally, I'd rather that they eliminate themselves early in life.
Besides, if everybody thought through every crazy stunt before they tried it, we'd put the Darwin Awards out of business.
One cannot take too many cells from the embyo, have to leave some for the embryo to develop.
Actually, IIRC, up until the number of cells reaches some pre-determined threshhold (I believe it's 2^16, but please don't hold me to that one), each of the embryonic cells is fully capable of developing an individual human being -- that's how identical twins occur. So really, at any point past the first mitosis, you can take a cell or two or even twenty, just as long as you leave one behind to develop.
Re:Why is military stuff always on Slashdot??!?!
on
The Future of MREs
·
· Score: 2
[T]he military is often on the bleeding edge of technology.
Personally, I always liked to think of my time in the military as being on the "leave-the-other-guy-bleeding" edge of technology.
Rice doesn't carry 3Kcal in the equivalent space. Plus, for rice to have any flavor, you also have to hump in your "eleven herbs and spices." And let's not forget that many soldiers aren't exactly Wolfgang Puck.
MREs on the other hand, are tasty, filling (to the point that you'll stay filled...for days), and anyone from the densest jarhead to the laziest wing-wiper can fill the heater pack to the line and warm up their food. Failing that, PFC Ugg can just tear open the pouch and chow down (I personally preferred my MREs cold -- especially tuna noodle casserole); how's your uncooked rice taste? Too, you aren't building any cook fires that could give your position away.
And the best reason of all for choosing MREs, rice will only make birds explode, whereas the heater pack reactants can make damn near anything into an instant Weapon of Terror(TM).
Slashdot Mirror
Except for that line of 50 cars behind your bike-pedaling ass. They're all blowing veins in their foreheads because the goddamn speed limit is fucking 55 goddamn miles per hour and some SHITPOT on a fucking mountain bike is in their way when they just want to get home so they can drink a glass of bourbon and watch some Letterman, for christsakes, is that too fucking much to ask from you kids these days on your GODDAMN MOUNTAIN BIKES and your FUCKING RAZOR SCOOTERS and your DAMNED ROLLERSKATES, when all I want to do is finish my fucking commute and see if maybe I can get a piece of tang from my wife who's been all, "Oh, it's that time of the month and anyway I have a headache and feel all bloated" when I know goddamn well that her last period was only two weeks ago and there's no Playtex wrappers in the bathroom trashcan besides, and the damn kids are all whiny about how mean I'm being when I ground them because they didn't do their goddamn homework again, and then they start telling me all about how when Uncle Steve comes over during the day to visit Mommy that he's much nicer than I am, and then I have to go back into the bedroom and there's my cheating tramp of a wife on the phone -- with STEVE, Steve my best friend for nine years and I took his dog to the vet when it got hit by one of you goddamn CYCLISTS and bled all over the brand new top-grain Italian leather interior, Steve who was the best man at my wedding and helped me cover it up when Tommy Myers OD'ed at the bachelor party, and now he's on the phone with my GODDAMN WIFE and I know what I have to do, which I is why I kept my pistol all nice and clean and loaded in the first place, and when that first round explodes forth from the barrel, all pyrotechnic magic and cordite, it's like the first time I was ever with her and I couldn't control myself and it was all over before she even had her blouse unbuttoned, for christsakes, and now she's dead in a puddle of blood and I'm screaming into the phone, "Did you hear that, Steve, old buddy OLD PAL?! I'm coming for you next!"
On second thought, maybe I'll just stay at work and put in a little overtime.
Maybe because in countries with lots of guns, we're also better at determining who needs a good killing, and thus common sense is matched with ready means.
Because they're so busy trying to compile their kernel and write crappy Microsoft look-alike programs for Lunix that they don't have time to have a job. Although it's interesting that the l33t Lunix h4XX0rz in your area actually leave their parents' basements to beg for money; most of the h4XX0rz that live in my area do it online.
Wow, Tyler Durden finally got himself a /. account.
time to bring the big "J-Man" back for another round
Dude, everyone hates reunion tours. Besides, he'll never be as good as he was with the original disciples.
Although a thought occurred to me the other day: if you or I were to rise from the dead after three days of rotting, people would run screaming from us like little bitches. Because there's a word for people who come back from the dead: Zombies.
That's right, the "savior" to millions of people is nothing more than an extra in a George Romero nightmare. Remember: Jesus died for your sins, but he rose for your sweeet braaaaaaains!
I think you meant...
AMD. Intel may kindly place their lips *inside* my bottom. That is Intel Inside..
As I was reading the article, I was thinking that picoradio would make an excellent addition to a modern soldier's loadout. As low-power as they are, the transceivers could be used to share data within the small-unit level without radiating enough energy to alert an enemy.
Combine these with the Army's Intervehicular Information System (IVIS), and commanders would have real-time, accurate information on the location of not just every tank, APC, and field artillery piece on the battlefield, but also each soldier. It would definitely work to reduce the number of friendly fire incidents that occur in a future conflict.
Plus, you could connect them to biomonitor equipment that would allow medic teams to both locate and triage injured personnel much faster.
Are you defending John Lennon's killer?
If he's not, I will. Mark David Chapman should be a national hero. Hell, maybe even a world hero. He did us all a favor by eradicating one more hippie who thought that merely by wishing the world were a place where "like, just sitting down and talking, man," would actually solve any problems, he could make it so. Seriously, listen to the lyrics to "Imagine." Lennon was a twit (and a hack lyricist to boot). Now listen to the lyrics to "The Ballad of the Green Berets" (SSG Barry Sadler, I believe). That's good American music!
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for diplomacy; negotiations that will stop armed conflict before it starts are a Good Thing. But sometimes you have to give war a chance (apologies to P.J. O'Rourke).
Here's to you, Mark David Chapman, for having the courage to do what so many others couldn't.
If you decided to go with steganographic methods, just remember not to encrypt your pr0n images into other pr0n images. Next time I'm going to use cute pictures of puppies or those damned Anne Geddes pictures or something...
Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Tell me, when you hope that your CornWholed nutsacks expand in practical use, is that merely a description of the total number of nutsack users, or is that also a description of the carrying capacity of the sack?
Those terrible park officials! They're having those poor rats put to death when all of Ghod's creatures are sacred! What they should do is organize a nice conference where the rats and the seabirds can sit down and air their grievances peacefully, in a spirit of mutual harmony and understanding.
Seriously, this is pretty cool. Any time technology increases mankind's killing power, I've got to cheer a little bit. After the rats, how about some pigeons (also known as the "gutter bird" and the "winged rat," according to Kent Brockman)?
Thanks, I'm just depressed that it got modded up. I went on full-up psycho mode there and the mods didn't even have the common goddamn courtesy to bitchslap me for it.
I tell ya, I spend all this time whoring to hit the cap, just so I can go on an extended karma burn, and it completely backfires. Jebus.
Okay, I've got karma to burn (not that lack of it's ever stopped me before).
Lighten the ever-loving fuck up! These guys are the salt of the earth -- I should know; I served in the military myself. And to rebut your histrionic simpering, I present the following points:
Have Afghan civilians died? Certainly. That's the nature of war. Sometimes people die in combat. Sometimes those people have done nothing wrong. But the goal of the United States is not the wholesale slaughter of innocents; to the contrary, we've gone out of our way to ensure their safety time and again. And as for Israelis slaughtering Palestinians, I'd call the last, oh, 96 hours or so in Israel a pretty good indication of who the aggressors are. While one side attempts to negotiate in good faith, the other side is setting of suicide bombs in public places. Who's the good guy to you?
Next time you want to whimper about how terrible the U.S. military is, remember that their mission is to act as guarantors of freedom not merely for the U.S., but for the world. Sometimes the mere threat of their use is enough to cause aggressive individuals to reconsider. Sometimes we actually have to show the intestinal fortitude to use them. And sometimes, every once in a while, I wish they'd call in airstrikes on idiot hippies like you.
A government entity thinking clearly and levelly, and actually thanking geeks for trying to help them? Astounding.
Okay, everyone, it's time to pack up and go. Would the last one out of the server room please hit the BRS?
Yes, but can they nail a newspaper to your feet?
Every day, our drivers use their DIAD (Delivery Information Acquisition Device) IIIs to track the millions of packages delivered and picked up. They're wireless, but in the event that they're out of RF range, the information is buffered and then re-transmitted by the DIAD Vehicle Adapter (DVA), which also provides trickle charge capabilities. If all else fails, the DIAD can transfer its batch at the end of the day when it's placed in its cradle at the center.
We don't currently have GPS in the DIAD III, but the prototype DIAD IVs (which run on PocketPC 2002...ugh) do. They'll not only give drivers who lose their way directions to the next delivery destination, they will also broadcast their location back to the center, which will allow center supervisors and managers to determine more efficient driving routes and coverage areas.
Shouldn't that be +1, Undertaken?
ObDisclaimer: The first bit of this may seem to wander a bit offtopic, but it'll be relevant by the end. <UsedCarSalesGrin> Trust me.</UsedCarSalesGrin>
I once had my best friend tell me I was morbid and quite possibly insane when I detailed what I want done with my corpse.
It's not all that terrible, I think. For the past three years or so, I've really thought that it would be cool to have a webcam mounted inside my coffin (powerlines and networking cable and all that run to it too, of course). After I die, I want people to be able to log on to a website and check my decomposition.
The University of Tennessee, I believe it is, maintains a forensic "Body Farm" where hundreds of corpses are decomposing in various conditions. It's closed to the public (for obvious reasons), but I think there should be a little more openness in society about the mechanics of death. It's fascinating because it's so secretive. I think by mounting a small light and a webcam inside my coffin, it might give the world a fresh perspective on thanatology.
Of course, maintaining the site would cost some money, and I won't exactly be around to earn any. Thanks to Slashdot, I now know that Acclaim will be the first company for whom I'll do a salespitch. Any other takers?
Agreed.
I work for UPS, and we're currently working with the Teamsters Union on contract negotiations for all of our union employees. FedEx has taken the opportunity to lure some of our current customers away from us, by talking up the possibility of another strike like the one in '97. It's so remote as to be almost an impossibility (that strike caused a huge financial dent in the Teamsters' strike reserves), but it doesn't stop them from using it as a marketing tool.
Should UPS sue FedEx over their sales force's marketing tactics? I don't think so. Most of my fellow employees don't think so either. We'll simply press on and complete the negotiations, while we continue delivering the packages, same as always. If we can't, we sink. Simple as that.
Business is a fairly brutal Darwinian process sometimes, and if Compuware can't handle the fact that IBM's sales weasels are slick fast-talkers, maybe they should find another line of work. I hear that selling watercress sandwiches in front of the airport is pretty lucrative...
At the company I work at, we have ~5000 servers worldwide, and they all follow the same naming convention:
Thus, a production server in Minneapolis, Minnesota would be usmnminpsnnn , or a development server in Vancouver, BC, would be cabcvandsnnn .
This reminds me of when I lived in Germany -- we used to watch religiously a TV program called Bitte Lächeln (roughly translated, Say Cheese!). I don't know if it's still on, but it used to air on RTL2 at 1800 CET, right after Rück Zuck. It's sort of like that "Germany's Most Disturbing Home Videos" sketch they had on Sprockets once. No matter who was in competition for the DM5000, the winner was always the video in which the {subject|victim} endured the most agonizing pain. Animal bites on the genitals were always a mortal lock.
Anyway, I'm glad to hear that the wonderfully German concept of Schadenfreude is being shared with the gaming world. Incidentally, who wants to quote me some odds on how long it'll take for someone to rewire the PEU to attach to more sensitive bits?
Safety First!
Actually, think for just a second: do you really want the sort of people who would half-ass the assembly of a railgun to breed? Personally, I'd rather that they eliminate themselves early in life.
Besides, if everybody thought through every crazy stunt before they tried it, we'd put the Darwin Awards out of business.
One cannot take too many cells from the embyo, have to leave some for the embryo to develop.
Actually, IIRC, up until the number of cells reaches some pre-determined threshhold (I believe it's 2^16, but please don't hold me to that one), each of the embryonic cells is fully capable of developing an individual human being -- that's how identical twins occur. So really, at any point past the first mitosis, you can take a cell or two or even twenty, just as long as you leave one behind to develop.
[T]he military is often on the bleeding edge of technology.
Personally, I always liked to think of my time in the military as being on the "leave-the-other-guy-bleeding" edge of technology.
Rice doesn't carry 3Kcal in the equivalent space. Plus, for rice to have any flavor, you also have to hump in your "eleven herbs and spices." And let's not forget that many soldiers aren't exactly Wolfgang Puck.
MREs on the other hand, are tasty, filling (to the point that you'll stay filled...for days), and anyone from the densest jarhead to the laziest wing-wiper can fill the heater pack to the line and warm up their food. Failing that, PFC Ugg can just tear open the pouch and chow down (I personally preferred my MREs cold -- especially tuna noodle casserole); how's your uncooked rice taste? Too, you aren't building any cook fires that could give your position away.
And the best reason of all for choosing MREs, rice will only make birds explode, whereas the heater pack reactants can make damn near anything into an instant Weapon of Terror(TM).