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User: stoofa

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Comments · 136

  1. People should not meddle in these things on IBM's But-I-Only-Got-The-Soup Patent · · Score: 1

    "Numbers written on restaurant bills within the confines of restaurants do not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces of paper in any other parts of the Universe." -- Douglas Adams

  2. Re:Do they run vista? on Ethical Killing Machines · · Score: 1

    I think that the problem is people having misconceptions about robots. They're not sentient. They don't think. They only do what we tell them to. Sure there are horror stories about robots coming to life, but there are also horror stories about dead people coming to life, or cars coming to life.

    How gullible are you?

    I bet a robot told you that.

    A big one with glowing red eyes and blood dripping from his brushed-Titanium claws.

  3. Re:Dupe on Rubber Duckies For Global Warming Research · · Score: 1

    The accidental emptying of a container of ducks into the sea was 1992, as you reference above. But the deliberate release of plastic ducks around the world has also been done back in 2001 here: I Found A Duck.

  4. Re:A matter of time. on 40 Years Ago, the US Lost a Nuclear Bomb · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well he does have a beard and leaves strange packages all over the place. In the UK, that's enough to get you shot nowadays.

  5. So, in summary... on How To Cloak Objects At a Distance · · Score: 2, Funny

    Scientists: "We've made an invisibility cloak that will make your soldiers vanish!"
    General: "That's amazing, let's try these out."
    Scientists: "Right, Here is one you can try, but if you want more then we need money... a lot of money."
    General: "Sorry, the deals off, the soldiers say they can't see out of it when they're inside it."
    Scientists: "Give us a few minutes."
    [Obligatory view of shed with hammering and sawing noises]
    Scientists: "Okay, how about your troops just hide behind it?"

  6. Obligatory spoof transcript on Scientists Erase Specific Memories In Mice · · Score: 2, Funny

    Scientist: "Here, mouse, have some cheese."
    [Mouse eats cheese]
    Scientist: "Right, now forget about it completely."
    [Waits 5 minutes]
    Scientist: "Say, mouse, how was that oak-smoked camembert with chive and onion?"
    Mouse: "Chive?"
    Scientist: "Wow, it works."

  7. skeptical about the brown missile-shaped object on UK UFO Sightings Declassified, Still No Intergalactic Relations · · Score: 1

    The captain of the Alitalia airliner shouted "Look out" to his co-pilot at the sight of a brown missile-shaped object shooting past them overhead.

    Sounds like a big piece of shit to me.

  8. Re:Take the opposite approach. on Give Up the Fight For Personal Privacy? · · Score: 1

    That won't really work on Facebook though, will it?

    All the old classmates you try and hook up with will just be sat there thinking "That mad old Afghan woman is poking me again!"

  9. Shooting their dogs? on Anti-Terrorist Data Mining Doesn't Work Very Well · · Score: 1

    Instead, they aim to produce a scholarly evaluation of the current technologies that exist for data mining, their effectiveness, and how government agencies should use them to limit false positives--of the sort that can result in situations like heavily-armed SWAT teams raiding someone's home and shooting their dogs based on the false belief that they were part of a drug ring.

    Maybe this was just part of the 'War on Terriers.'

  10. Russian underwater flag planting? on Strong Methane Emissions On the Siberian Shelf · · Score: 1

    Anything to do with this?

    1st diver: plant the flag over here, comrade.

    *Plop... whoosh - bubble - bubble - bubble*

    2nd diver: oops.

    1st diver: Okay, try over here.

    *Plop... whoosh - bubble - bubble - bubble*

  11. From the article... on Debunking the Google Earth Censorship Myth · · Score: 1

    Since Google doesn't own its own fleet of satellites, its only recourse in these cases of deliberate pixelation is to buy more imagery from other sources, which it sometimes does.

    YET! Since Google doesn't own its own fleet of satellites YET.

  12. Re:A god way to find important buildings on Debunking the Google Earth Censorship Myth · · Score: 1

    A god way to find important buildings

    Being able to spin the earth around with just a mouse and peer down on the world certainly is a very god way of finding important buildings.

  13. Yes... on Has Google Redefined Beta? · · Score: 3, Funny

    And they have redefined 'no evil' too.

  14. Hmmmm, seems familiar on NASA Uses Rubber Ducks In Climate Study · · Score: 1
  15. *hic* on Is Open Source Different In Europe Than In the US? · · Score: 1

    I just readed the summary and have just conclude that Taco is still up to his eyeses in the drinkses.

  16. Re:It Will Never Work on Indian Woman Convicted of Murder By Brain Scan · · Score: 1

    I can confirm will absolute certainty that Schrodinger's cat is dead and, once we wire you up to the scanner, we'll soon be able to see that you clearly remember killing it.

  17. the other major flaw in vista... on Vista's Security Rendered Completely Useless · · Score: 0

    ...is the fact that it is possible to sneak malicious code onto a user's PC by hiding the code in the airflow behind a flying chair.

  18. Re:Incomplete Map on New Map of Carved Up Arctic · · Score: 1

    If you can find any penguins at all in the Arctic then you have been following the black needle rather than the red one on your compass.

  19. Re:Huh on New Olympics Scoring: No More Perfect 10.0 · · Score: 1, Funny

    Well it has always bugged me that they have retained the motto 'Faster, higher, stronger.'

    Not even archery fits under that motto. Although seeing who could fire an arrow the fastest or the highest might add some new interesting angle... particularly when it comes back down.

  20. Bigger wallet needed... on IBM Granted "Paper-or-Plastic?" Patent · · Score: 1

    "Yes I could just 'inconveniently' say 'paper' to you, but dammit I have a card to do that now... it's in here somewhere... nope, that's my 'dash of milk and two sugars please' card... Ah, here... oh no, that's my small 'good morning' sign that I can hold up to friends and colleagues... there's my 'Is this available in plaid?' card... damn, I think I left it at home with my 'leave the elephant on the trampoline for 5 more minutes and then let the giraffe have a go' card.

  21. Re:"I swear, I wasn't there!" on Face-Swapping Software To Protect Privacy · · Score: 1

    The article says that they built up a library using photos of faces downloaded from the internet. So that completely defeats the whole point.

    They'll be protecting my privacy by sticking some Brazilian chap onto my face, but equally could end up protecting the same Brazilian chap by sticking my face on him.

  22. Re:You've missed something important on Police Director Sues AOL For Critical Blogger's Name · · Score: 1

    Did you mean to say Burma or did you just panic?

  23. Re:Ironically on E-gold Owners Plead Guilty To Money Laundering · · Score: 1

    That's maybe because the eGold was purified and so had no irony deposits in it at all.

  24. Re:5x mass = 5x gravity on Astronomers Claim Discovery of Earth-like Planet · · Score: 1

    You think it's very irony on that planet?

    If it's too irony then we probably won't find what we're expecting if we ever go there.

  25. Concerned... on Phoenix Mars Lander To Begin Rasping Ice Shavings · · Score: 1

    This won't hurt the poor thing's wrist will it?