In "Dave Barry's Greatest Hits", there was an column entitled "Public-Spirited Citizens Such As You" where you talk about a joke that answers the question, "Why is Walter Mondale nicknamed 'Fritz'?" You ask that everybody write in to The Joke Tracking Center as soon as they hear the joke. I haven't heard the joke, and that question has been keeping me up all night for the past 10 years. Why is Walter Mondale nicknamed Fritz? Also, does The Joke Tracking Center employ bad joke/pun writers? My dad is currently unemployed, and I'm sure he would fit right in.
You know, I'm getting tired of all this 'terrorism' stuff. Ever since 9/11 everything that goes wrong HAS to be terrorism. People are so paranoid about everything they forget about common sense. If you look at how many things go wrong in this world simply due to HUMAN ERROR, it outweighs terrorism by a long shot. How many terrorist attacks have occurred in the United States, compared to different technical/equipment/human failures of some kind? Barely any. Even mentioning terrorism in a case like this is... well... kind of silly. That's like saying, "That waitress burned my toast! Maybe it was terrorism! Call the FBI!" This is like the days when people were all paranoid about Communism plaguing the US. Read the Crucible (if you haven't already), which was inspired by the McCarthy Hearings.
The year is 2003. The world is being taken over by chess playing robots. Our only hope is one man: Garry Kasparov (played by Arnold Schwarzenegger... A tough sell, I know). He has to control his childish temper as he takes on Deep Blue, Deep Junior, Deep Fritz, and (We're In) Deep Shit. Sure, they look like sissy beige boxes, but they're tough. There will be no time to pout, no leaving in disgrace; every move is on the clock (so to speak). In the final scene, Kasparov beats Deep Blue to a pulp with a Louiseville Slugger. So much for strategy! Astalavista baby!
The thing I enjoyed the most about the Superbowl
on
Superbowl XXXVII
·
· Score: 5, Funny
The Superbowl is wierd. Celine Dion sang "God Bless America", and she's Canadian. If an American started singing "God Save The Queen" he'd probably be shot and then called a terrorist.
I think development of games is an important issue to look at with consoles. Rather than having to support a gazillion different configurations, programmers have one. That means they don't have to worry as much about debugging these combinations, and can therefore spend more time on other aspects of the game, hopefully improving the quality. I'm sure that's a major source of appeal for a lot of programmers, simply because they don't have to worry about all the extra problems (and support for users after release! It costs money for all that tech support). If you have a user base, and programmers start preferring the console, I think it would be possible to severely cripple gaming on the PC. Without developers, how can you play?
In case of the Slashdot effect, here is his profile:
Name: David Ralph Hughes
Favorite Cereal: Cinnamon Oat Crunch
Favorite Color: Blue. No! Red!
Favorite Scent: Napalm (In the morning)
Favorite Flower: Rose
Favorite Video Game: Deer Hunter
Other information: SWM seeking tall, attractive SWF.
I went to a LAN party in the summer, and the most popular tournament was Frozen Bubbles (I *think*... CS may have barely beaten it). The great thing about the game is that the learning curve isn't very steep. If everybody has little experience at it (like most people at the LAN), that's when you have a blast. You can just hop in, learn the 3 buttons necessary, and have fun. =)
They should make an RPG called "Body by Jake". You control Jake as he goes from an overweight pimple-faced kid to an infomercial superstar, just like the real Jake. Along the way, you will have to:
Get Results Fast!
Listen Up to Muscle Up
Map the Muscles to Manhood
Special features are also included, like charisma, in which you subtly brag about how much you bench, flex your manhood for the ladies, and start your workout WITHOUT ANY WARMUP!! Get "Body by Jake" today!
Heh... Whoops... Guess people can't take a joke. For the record, the joke wasn't intended to start a flame war, or to thrash homosexuals. I was making fun of AOL users. I thought it was AOK to mock AOL on Slashdot. Yikes.
Just so this doesn't mislead anybody... The above post was intended to be a joke, because of the name 'Ark Linux' (All the animalstwo-by-two, etc). It backfired, because somebody modded it 'informative'. =)
You better hurry and volunteer to help with Ark Linux. There's only two positions available. There's a catch, however. You must have experience in python, awk, squeak, moo, bark, and oink.;)
This may be rough on these guys, but I'm not changing my case unless it does my laundry, my homework, or finds me a date - something every geek would like. The rectangular ones seem to work fine - when you kick them, they make a nice clunking sound.
Slashdot Mirror
EXACTLY 250 years ago today, a Scottish inventor penned a theory that led to the electric telegraph and the mobile phone.
I have a neighbor that looks about that age, maybe it was him.
In "Dave Barry's Greatest Hits", there was an column entitled "Public-Spirited Citizens Such As You" where you talk about a joke that answers the question, "Why is Walter Mondale nicknamed 'Fritz'?" You ask that everybody write in to The Joke Tracking Center as soon as they hear the joke. I haven't heard the joke, and that question has been keeping me up all night for the past 10 years. Why is Walter Mondale nicknamed Fritz? Also, does The Joke Tracking Center employ bad joke/pun writers? My dad is currently unemployed, and I'm sure he would fit right in.
For its part, AOL has said it has stopped simply signing up new customers for the sake of counting them.
Well, this disproves the "To them, you are not just a number" Theory.
Signed,
24783
You know, I'm getting tired of all this 'terrorism' stuff. Ever since 9/11 everything that goes wrong HAS to be terrorism. People are so paranoid about everything they forget about common sense. If you look at how many things go wrong in this world simply due to HUMAN ERROR, it outweighs terrorism by a long shot. How many terrorist attacks have occurred in the United States, compared to different technical/equipment/human failures of some kind? Barely any. Even mentioning terrorism in a case like this is... well... kind of silly. That's like saying, "That waitress burned my toast! Maybe it was terrorism! Call the FBI!" This is like the days when people were all paranoid about Communism plaguing the US. Read the Crucible (if you haven't already), which was inspired by the McCarthy Hearings.
The year is 2003. The world is being taken over by chess playing robots. Our only hope is one man: Garry Kasparov (played by Arnold Schwarzenegger... A tough sell, I know). He has to control his childish temper as he takes on Deep Blue, Deep Junior, Deep Fritz, and (We're In) Deep Shit. Sure, they look like sissy beige boxes, but they're tough. There will be no time to pout, no leaving in disgrace; every move is on the clock (so to speak). In the final scene, Kasparov beats Deep Blue to a pulp with a Louiseville Slugger. So much for strategy! Astalavista baby!
The Superbowl is wierd. Celine Dion sang "God Bless America", and she's Canadian. If an American started singing "God Save The Queen" he'd probably be shot and then called a terrorist.
In other news, Ikea has changed its name to Good Luck Putting This Stuff Together.
(inspired by Harland Williams)
Wouldn't that be the '.' ? Or has Perl changed since the last time I used it?
Let's NOT consider Hilary Rosen for President.
In RIAA math, she would be the equivalent to Congress. Is she a big woman?
I think development of games is an important issue to look at with consoles. Rather than having to support a gazillion different configurations, programmers have one. That means they don't have to worry as much about debugging these combinations, and can therefore spend more time on other aspects of the game, hopefully improving the quality. I'm sure that's a major source of appeal for a lot of programmers, simply because they don't have to worry about all the extra problems (and support for users after release! It costs money for all that tech support). If you have a user base, and programmers start preferring the console, I think it would be possible to severely cripple gaming on the PC. Without developers, how can you play?
In case of the Slashdot effect, here is his profile:
Name: David Ralph Hughes
Favorite Cereal: Cinnamon Oat Crunch
Favorite Color: Blue. No! Red!
Favorite Scent: Napalm (In the morning)
Favorite Flower: Rose
Favorite Video Game: Deer Hunter
Other information: SWM seeking tall, attractive SWF.
We should be charging them for wasting our bandwidth on a zillion crappy songs. "I waited 5 minutes for that!?"
That's neat. You could use SMS to tell off your boss, and actually have 7.5% percent chance of keeping your job. =) Hey, it's better than nothing!
I went to a LAN party in the summer, and the most popular tournament was Frozen Bubbles (I *think*... CS may have barely beaten it). The great thing about the game is that the learning curve isn't very steep. If everybody has little experience at it (like most people at the LAN), that's when you have a blast. You can just hop in, learn the 3 buttons necessary, and have fun. =)
Warner Bros: Hello, some of your customers are downloading copyrighted material on KaZaA.
ISP: Ummm... Well, we're going to have to get back to you on that.
Warner Bros: While we're on the phone, would it be possible to send Steven Case to you guys via air mail? We don't want him.
ISP: Ummm... No.
Warner Bros: He may be useless, but he doesn't eat much. Please?
ISP: Goodbye.
*click*
Warner Bros: Never a break...
- Get Results Fast!
- Listen Up to Muscle Up
- Map the Muscles to Manhood
Special features are also included, like charisma, in which you subtly brag about how much you bench, flex your manhood for the ladies, and start your workout WITHOUT ANY WARMUP!! Get "Body by Jake" today!I'm a bit worried about this idea. I thought the search was over the day they discovered Spam.
Point taken. I'll use better discretion when posting in the future.
Heh... Whoops... Guess people can't take a joke. For the record, the joke wasn't intended to start a flame war, or to thrash homosexuals. I was making fun of AOL users. I thought it was AOK to mock AOL on Slashdot. Yikes.
Just so this doesn't mislead anybody... The above post was intended to be a joke, because of the name 'Ark Linux' (All the animals two-by-two, etc). It backfired, because somebody modded it 'informative'. =)
You better hurry and volunteer to help with Ark Linux. There's only two positions available. There's a catch, however. You must have experience in python, awk, squeak, moo, bark, and oink. ;)
This may be rough on these guys, but I'm not changing my case unless it does my laundry, my homework, or finds me a date - something every geek would like. The rectangular ones seem to work fine - when you kick them, they make a nice clunking sound.
"The D Language: It's C! With Implants!"
Now that we're in, I say we Slashdot his liquor cabinet. =)