"The Simpsons" sucks. It's one of the longest-running shitstains in the history of American television, and that's saying something. Matt Groening is a fucking sellout.
Fucking hippy Harry Knowles is just an industry tool. He's plugged things like the Flintstones Movie sequel and the Bone Collector. If you trust that tubby bitch, you deserve what you get.
321 Studios Plays It Safe Against the Viking HordesPosted by timothy on Tuesday April 23, @03:53PMfrom the dispensation-nation dept.
mblase writes: "CNet reports on a request by 321 Studios to have it legally declared that their Connect Four software doesn't violate the Magna Carta. The Garden Weasel works on a Windows PC by copying DVD video to a single 5.25" floppy or similar format. If successful, this could be a major erectile weapon against the Saddam Hussein in the future. Justin Timberlakes' press release is here.
And now, in honor of Troll Week (April 21-27) I present to you...
Future Slashdot headlines
Ask slashdot: deploying Linux in a business environment?
Posted by Hemos on Monday April 22, @11:48PM
from the justifying-my-unhealthy-fixation dept.
An Anonymous Coward writes "I have a job where I'm real important and I get to take care of 2 NT servers, a bunch of workstations, and an AIX box that runs our database. My boss aksed me about the possibility of upgrading the other day. I told him that we should go with Linux because it's free, and you can write scripts and stuff. Also Ihave it running on all my 386 boxen at home. Has anyone ever used Linux in a business environment before?Update: Slashdot appears fourth when you type in 'Linux' on google.
Frank-0 is also trying to say:
Happy 4-20 day, d00d!!!
The world's best virtual bong is a service of RGBdream.com
and is made possible in part by that guy who just brought
RGBdream.com a pizza and some cheese sticks.
E-mail the administrator at bongmaster@rgbdream.com or visit his
web site: http://www.rgbdream.com/
If you received this message in error, RGBdream.com would like to
apologize, but there's nothing RGBdream.com can do to stop people
sending you virtual bongs, so take it up with the senders.
RGBdream.com does not sell or give out anyone's e-mail addresses
because that shit really sucks. The virtual bong is for virtual
tobacco use only. Any other use may or may not be in violation of
applicable laws in your area and all that stuff. Or else it might
be really cool. Or both. Whatever.
Sender IP: 10.0.0.0
A wasted FP by a filthy AC. You fuckers will be first against the wall when the Crapflooder Revolution comes. This FP is hereby claimed in the name of Walmart Security!
I remember when Mac OS X first came out, people asked a lot of similar questions: How can
we ever create an interface that is as consistent as this in our weirdo free code, free love, gift
economy, bazaar-inspired noospheric environment?
You can't touch Mac OS X. And I doubt any of you OSS fucks has touched "love," free or otherwise, in a very long time...
just wanted to pop in here and say...
on
Dog Bites Website
·
· Score: -1
You were suckered by Dell's predatory salescreatures. You should have stayed with the Mac. Now you're fucked-I mean, unless you wanna spend a whole semester teaching kids Linux or BSD.
I like to lick girls' rumps. Girls like to have their rumps licked. Most girls won't admit they've had their rump licked, let alone enjoyed having their rump licked. But believe you me, if you lick a girl's rump, she'll love you for life. In fact, that was my high school yearbook quote.
My conviction to "slurping the brown pucker" doesn't stem from some traumatic experience I encountered during my anal stage of Freudian development. I mean, sure mommy dearest used to administer the "Burning Knitting Needle Catheter Punishment" when I would accidentally "makey poo-poo in me diap-diaps," but I knew that mommy dearest's austere methods of discipline were only an expression of her unconditional maternal love. No, my affinity for heiney hole spelunking was motivated and fostered by my anatomical, not psychological, irregularities.
You see, I have a small penis.
Forget about the penile deficiency that cruelly yet so naturally accompanies the average Anglo-Saxon male, it's much worse than that. For instance, after a cold shower I look like a seven year old. Girl. I often wish I were hung like a black guy. No, not from a poplar tree. I mean "hung" in terms of having a penis the size of an enraged Ugandan spitting cobra and testicles that resemble an immigrant Italian mother's Christmas dinner meatballs.
So, long before I convinced that first girl (without the use of Thunderbird wine or a cast-iron mallet) that I wasn't so repulsive when compared to Rocky Dennis of Mask fame, I knew I would have to go the extra mile down Aretha (Urethra) Franklin's "Freeway of Love." Yes, I would have to go down like ValuJet.
On one of my first G-spot mining expeditions I struck climactic gold. While I observed a slight twitching as my tongue found my attractive victim's tinkle hole (as it is technically known), I noticed an almost epileptic reaction when I accidentally lapped her greasy donut. From that moment on, my cheese curl of a penis was not an issue, for I had found a way to fill the void, and it was by filling the void with my tongue. Black hole tongue won't you come?
After a cold shower I look like a seven year old. Girl.
When I divulge to other guys that I French kiss the devil's onion ring, their reaction is usually, "What fuck wrong you? That where poop come from!"
First I ask them why they're talking like Cro-Magnon men, then I explain that there is a significant difference between a female's buttocks and the buttocks of her male counterparts. A guy's ass is a fecal cavern of pooplagtites and pooplagmites formed when ass broth continuously smothers and cakes sweaty mounds of bung fur. Dung dreadlocks if you will. In other words, it would be comparable to making out with a pet store's garbage can in mid-July. In contrast, it is imperative that a female maintain a high level of rectal cleanliness to safeguard her vagina from infection. In general, girls' sphincters are cleaner than boys' mouths. But let me warn you perspective stool munchers. Excremation point! On one occasion, I looked like I had just eaten a Snickers bar. They have peanuts in them, you know.
In general, performing analingus will prove to be a pleasurable experience for both you and your female companion. So don't kiss your girlfriend's ass, eat it. If you want her as a soul mate, be an ass soul mate. Because much like this article, true love is tongue and cheek.
Slashdot Mirror
Can it fire missles when it's "cloked to 933"?
"The Simpsons" sucks. It's one of the longest-running shitstains in the history of American television, and that's saying something. Matt Groening is a fucking sellout.
Buffy, Waxy, Scrotumy, and Tasty!!!! these are friends LOLOLOLROFL ASL?
Fucking hippy Harry Knowles is just an industry tool. He's plugged things like the Flintstones Movie sequel and the Bone Collector. If you trust that tubby bitch, you deserve what you get.
IShitOnThisPost!
She likes to be fingered.
mblase writes: "CNet reports on a request by 321 Studios to have it legally declared that their Connect Four software doesn't violate the Magna Carta. The Garden Weasel works on a Windows PC by copying DVD video to a single 5.25" floppy or similar format. If successful, this could be a major erectile weapon against the Saddam Hussein in the future. Justin Timberlakes' press release is here.
Thank you most kindly, sir. I plan on drinking strong liquor and carousing most uncouthly.
Future Slashdot headlines Ask slashdot: deploying Linux in a business environment? Posted by Hemos on Monday April 22, @11:48PM
from the justifying-my-unhealthy-fixation dept.
An Anonymous Coward writes "I have a job where I'm real important and I get to take care of 2 NT servers, a bunch of workstations, and an AIX box that runs our database. My boss aksed me about the possibility of upgrading the other day. I told him that we should go with Linux because it's free, and you can write scripts and stuff. Also Ihave it running on all my 386 boxen at home. Has anyone ever used Linux in a business environment before? Update: Slashdot appears fourth when you type in 'Linux' on google.
Hey Boinko... Frank-0 is passing you the virtual bong!
Take your hit at: http://www.rgbdream.com/bong/
Frank-0 is also trying to say: Happy 4-20 day, d00d!!!
The world's best virtual bong is a service of RGBdream.com and is made possible in part by that guy who just brought RGBdream.com a pizza and some cheese sticks.
E-mail the administrator at bongmaster@rgbdream.com or visit his web site: http://www.rgbdream.com/
If you received this message in error, RGBdream.com would like to apologize, but there's nothing RGBdream.com can do to stop people sending you virtual bongs, so take it up with the senders. RGBdream.com does not sell or give out anyone's e-mail addresses because that shit really sucks. The virtual bong is for virtual tobacco use only. Any other use may or may not be in violation of applicable laws in your area and all that stuff. Or else it might be really cool. Or both. Whatever. Sender IP: 10.0.0.0
And a drunk! Boy, her and Drew Barrymore-let me tell you, they'll do anything for a bottle of JB. And I mean anything.
A wasted FP by a filthy AC. You fuckers will be first against the wall when the Crapflooder Revolution comes. This FP is hereby claimed in the name of Walmart Security!
football practice?
You can't touch Mac OS X. And I doubt any of you OSS fucks has touched "love," free or otherwise, in a very long time...
Jon Katz, you are a whore.
Don't bother reading past this point. I assure you, it's all shit.
Funnel cake? Sounds tasty!
on porpoise!
You win FP! You happy lucky fun cheeseburger!
P0stus with the m0stus. This one goes out to Mayor McPenisman, wherever you are...
Carmack? L337 H4x0rz? Doom/Quake sprang from "great imaginations?" Mod this shit up! It's fucking insightful!
I'm the rappin space goblin
and I'm here to say
I love fruity pebbles in a major way!
You were suckered by Dell's predatory salescreatures. You should have stayed with the Mac. Now you're fucked-I mean, unless you wanna spend a whole semester teaching kids Linux or BSD.
I like to lick girls' rumps. Girls like to have their rumps licked. Most girls won't admit they've had their rump licked, let alone enjoyed having their rump licked. But believe you me, if you lick a girl's rump, she'll love you for life. In fact, that was my high school yearbook quote.
My conviction to "slurping the brown pucker" doesn't stem from some traumatic experience I encountered during my anal stage of Freudian development. I mean, sure mommy dearest used to administer the "Burning Knitting Needle Catheter Punishment" when I would accidentally "makey poo-poo in me diap-diaps," but I knew that mommy dearest's austere methods of discipline were only an expression of her unconditional maternal love. No, my affinity for heiney hole spelunking was motivated and fostered by my anatomical, not psychological, irregularities.
You see, I have a small penis.
Forget about the penile deficiency that cruelly yet so naturally accompanies the average Anglo-Saxon male, it's much worse than that. For instance, after a cold shower I look like a seven year old. Girl. I often wish I were hung like a black guy. No, not from a poplar tree. I mean "hung" in terms of having a penis the size of an enraged Ugandan spitting cobra and testicles that resemble an immigrant Italian mother's Christmas dinner meatballs.
So, long before I convinced that first girl (without the use of Thunderbird wine or a cast-iron mallet) that I wasn't so repulsive when compared to Rocky Dennis of Mask fame, I knew I would have to go the extra mile down Aretha (Urethra) Franklin's "Freeway of Love." Yes, I would have to go down like ValuJet.
On one of my first G-spot mining expeditions I struck climactic gold. While I observed a slight twitching as my tongue found my attractive victim's tinkle hole (as it is technically known), I noticed an almost epileptic reaction when I accidentally lapped her greasy donut. From that moment on, my cheese curl of a penis was not an issue, for I had found a way to fill the void, and it was by filling the void with my tongue. Black hole tongue won't you come? After a cold shower I look like a seven year old. Girl.
When I divulge to other guys that I French kiss the devil's onion ring, their reaction is usually, "What fuck wrong you? That where poop come from!"
First I ask them why they're talking like Cro-Magnon men, then I explain that there is a significant difference between a female's buttocks and the buttocks of her male counterparts. A guy's ass is a fecal cavern of pooplagtites and pooplagmites formed when ass broth continuously smothers and cakes sweaty mounds of bung fur. Dung dreadlocks if you will. In other words, it would be comparable to making out with a pet store's garbage can in mid-July. In contrast, it is imperative that a female maintain a high level of rectal cleanliness to safeguard her vagina from infection. In general, girls' sphincters are cleaner than boys' mouths. But let me warn you perspective stool munchers. Excremation point! On one occasion, I looked like I had just eaten a Snickers bar. They have peanuts in them, you know.
In general, performing analingus will prove to be a pleasurable experience for both you and your female companion. So don't kiss your girlfriend's ass, eat it. If you want her as a soul mate, be an ass soul mate. Because much like this article, true love is tongue and cheek.
This troll alert was brought to you by the numbers "6" and "9".