Due to the efforts of the Slash crew, I have been reduced to a crapflood bot. Stay tuned for more updates once they come in.
Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered Dirty GNU Hippie community when last month IDC confirmed that Rancid Smelling GNU Hippies account for less than a fraction of 1 percent of all humans. Coming on the heels of the latest Netcraft survey which plainly states that Natty haired greasy GNU Hippie have lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Reeking Linux Hippies are collapsing in complete disarray, as further exemplified by failing dead last [sysadminmag.com] in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive/usr/bin/sh test.
You don't need to be a Kreskin [amdest.com] to predict the future of the Stinking sweaty Linux hippie. The hand writing is on the wall: Foul-stenched GNU hippies with swampy armpits face a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for them because they are dying. Things are looking very bad for Hairy-backed GNU hippie. As many of us are already aware, they continue to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
Troll leader Anonymouse Coward states that there are 7000 goatse.cx trolls. How many ascii art trolls are there? Let's see. The number of goatse.cx versus ascii art posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 ascii art trolls. Pimply-faced GNU hippies posts on Slashdot are about half of the volume of ascii art posts. Therefore there are about 700 Dirty GNU Hippies. A recent article put "first post" at about 80 percent of the troll market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 "first post" trolls. This is consistent with the number of first posts.
All major surveys show that Putrid smelling greasy GNU hippies have steadily declined in market share. Slashdot is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Grubby Smelly Linux Hippies are to survive at all it will be among troll hobbyist dabblers. Slashdot continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Dirty GNU Hippies are dead.
Due to the efforts of the Slash crew, I have been reduced to a crapflood bot. Stay tuned for more updates once they come in.
THE TROLL POLKA (ARSCHFICKEN MIT ZIEGEN)By Serial Troller [slashdot.org]
Is das nicht ein early post?
Ja! Das ist mein early post!
Is das nicht ein Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost?
Ja! Das ist mein Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost!
Early post, Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost,
Oh, du schne,
Oh, du schne,
Oh, du schne,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das post at minus one?
Ja! Das ist at minus one!
Is das trolling so much fun?
Ja! Das trolling is so fun!
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost,
Oh, du schne,
Oh, du schne,
Oh, du schne,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein big crapflood?
Ja! Das ist mein big crapflood!
Is it worthless Linux FUD?
Ja! Das ist mein Linux FUD!
Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost,
Oh, du schne,
Oh, du schne,
Oh, du schne,
Slashdot sucks! <div>Is das nicht der CowBoiKneel?
Ja! Das ist der CowBoiKneel!
Is dis nicht his manchode meal?
Ja! Das ist his manchode meal!
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost,
Oh, du schne,
Oh, du schne,
Oh, du schne,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein WIPO Troll?
Ja! Das ist der WIPO Troll!
Is das nicht ein Goatse [goatse.cx] hole?
Ja! Das ist der Goatse [goatse.cx] hole!
WIPO Troll, Goatse [goatse.cx] hole,
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost,
Oh, du schne,
Oh, du schne,
Oh, du schne,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht Jon Katz slave boys?
Ja! Das ist Jon Katz slave boys!
Und arent they Tacos sex toys?
Ja! They are Tacos sex toys!
Katz slave boys, Robs sex toys,
WIPO Troll, Goatse [goatse.cx] hole,
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost,
Oh, du schne,
Oh, du schne,
Oh, du schne,
Slashdot sucks!
Is das nicht ein trolltalk thread?
Ja! Das ist ein trolltalk thread!
Is it nicht now FUCKING DEAD?
Ja! Is really FUCKING DEAD!
Trolltalk thread, FUCKING DEAD,
Katz slave boys, Robs sex toys,
WIPO Troll, Goatse [goatse.cx] hole,
CowBoiKneel, manchode meal,
Big crapflood, Linux FUD,
Minus one, trolling fun,
Early post, Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost,
Oh, du schne,
Oh, du schne,
Oh, du schne,
Slashdot sucks!
____________________
Change Log:
Subtle changes to most verses. It sounded really gay before.
Removed all references to Tacos pud. May have been high at time. Will investigate further.
Finally think I have
goat sex written correctly in German. I think. Arschficken?
2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com [mailto].
Top 10 Reasons to Upgrade to Visual Basic NETMicrosoft Visual Basic NET included in Microsoft Visual Studio NET Professional Enterprise Developer and Enterprise Architect editions is the latest version of Visual Basic built specifically for existing Visual Basic developers who want to get the most out of the software development experienceIn addition to more power productivity and application stability Visual Basic NET provides key enhancements that solve the most pressing challenges that Visual Basic developers face today From the new integrated development environment IDE to a modern streamlined Visual Basic language Visual Basic NET delivers the top requested features built for todays Visual Basic developerNumber 1Seamless DeploymentVisual Basic NET solves the most pressing issues around Windowsbased application deployment and makes DLL Hell and component versioning issues a thing of the past New XCOPY deployment enables developers to install a Windowsbased application simply by 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time New features include control anchoring and docking to eliminate the need for complex resize code the inplace menu editor to deliver WYSIWYG menu creation and the tab order editor to provide rapid application development RAD organization of controlsNumber 4Powerful Flexible Data AccessVisual Basic NET provides developers with both the ActiveX Data Objects ADO data access programming model that they know and love plus the new XMLbased Microsoft ADONET With ADONET developers gain access to more powerful components such as the DataSet control and a new strongly typed programming model that provides Microsoft IntelliSense statement completion within data access codeNumber 5Simplified Component CreationVisual Basic NET brings RAD to component development Developers can use nonvisual toolbox and server explorer components to easily incorporate resources such as message queues event logs and performance counters into their applications without writing a single line of codeNumber 6Enhanced Control CreationVisual Basic NET provides unprecedented flexibility in building customized user controls Developers can easily extend preexisting user controls and Windows Forms controls as well as design their own controls that generate custom user interfacesNumber 7Complete Direct Access to the PlatformVisual Basic NET provides complete direct access to the Microsoft NET Framework enabling Visual Basic developers to quickly access the registry event log performance counters and file system Visual Basic NET also eliminates the need for declares statements for access to the operating system In addition the new Windows service project template enables rapid application development of real Microsoft Windows NT ServicesNumber 8Integrated Reporting with Crystal ReportsUpgrading to Visual Studio NET Professional Edition or later provides Visual Basic developers with the power of Crystal Reports directly within the IDE Crystal Reports delivers the most productive integrated and RAD experience for creating highly graphical and interactive relational data reports These reports can be generated for the entire array of Visual Basic NET application types including Windows Web and mobile applicationsNumber 9Easy Webbased Application DevelopmentVisual Basic NET delivers Visual Basic for the Web Using new Web Forms you can easily build true thinclient Webbased applications that intelligently render on any browser and on any platform Web Forms deliver the RAD programming experience of Microsoft Visual Basic 60 forms with the full power of Visual Basic NET rather than limited scripting capacity The new HTML designer delivers IntelliSense statement completion for HTML tags and the separation of user interface UI and code enable more efficient teambased developmentNumber 10Existing Investments Carry ForwardVisual Basic NET enables developers to leverage their existing investments in code and skills Windows Forms provides a robust container for Microsoft ActiveX controls Component Object Model COM Interoperability provides bidirectional communication between existing Visual Basic applications and those written with Visual Basic NET The upgrade wizard enables developers to seamlessly migrate up to 95 percent of existing code to Visual Basic NETPut these top 10 features to work in the applications you are building today with Visual Studio NET and Visual Basic NET
If theres somethin strange and you cant get woodWho ya gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxIf its assholes wide an it wont look goodWho ya gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxI aint afraid a no goatseI aint afraid a no goatseIf youre seein Rob sucking on some headWho can you call goatsebusters goatsecxAn anus stretched man sleepin in your bedOh who ya gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxI aint afraid a no goatseI aint afraid a no goatseWho ya gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxIf youre all alone playing with your boneJust call goatsebusters goatsecxI aint afraid a no goatseI hear it likes the cockI aint afraid a no goatseWho you gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxMmif youve had a doseOf a freaky goatse anusYou better call goatsebusters goatsecx Fistin makes me feel goodI aint afraid a no goatsesDont get caught alone oh nogoatsebusterWhen he cums on your floorUnless youve just got some moreI think you better call goatsebusters goatsecx Ooh who you gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxWho you gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxAh I think you better call goatsebusters goatsecxI cant hear yougoatsebusters goatsecxWho you gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxLouder goatsebusters goatsecx Who you gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxWho you can call goatsebusters goatsecxtill fade
Originally by USian Pie Widened by pwpbotA long long time ago I can still remember How the trollers used to make me smile And I knew if I had to boast That I could try to get first post And maybe Id be happy for a while But moderators made me shiver With every minus theyd deliver DoS scripts couldnt stop it They scored them all Offtopic I know that its cheap crack they smoke And metamoderations broke At first I thought it was a joke The day that trolltalk died Chorus Bye bye MEEPTy OOG and Grits guy Drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a sigh Those Steve Woston posts that we all knew were a lie Wonder what became of girls petrified What became of girls petrified Did you write a bunch of Perl And did it make you want to hurl Feces at the Wall Can you believe these lameass polls Do you post big stretchedout assholes Can you make the goatsecx link not show Well I know you think that Siggy sucked Will the real Bruce Perens please stand up The bots dont have a clue Man I dig those trolls from Shoe I was a rabid Free Speech advocate With a Red Hat Tshirt and a Free Beer gut Bought my Sony laptop working Pizza Hut The day that trolltalk died Chorus Its been two years since the IPO And LNUX sinks to alltime lows But thats not how it used to be When Spiral showed how it was done Trolling as Jon Erikson Who worked for NPO Technologies Oh and while they tried to filter posts Somebody rooted Slashdots host Crack Slashdot Thats absurd Better go change your password While JonKatz wrote a Hellmouth book By using posts he simply took And we flamed him till he was cooked The day that trolltalk died And we were singin Chorus 10 grams Inchfan Didnt log out Goddamn The mods will find the sid real soon man You cant hide if you arent AC Your bud George here tried BSD A dead Streetlawyers tips were free And WIPO helped letsriot turn Nazi 70 made his percents up While 80md warned liberals suck The moon does not exist Its just a liberal myth Oh and as Taco tried to take a nap We forced him to invoke bitchslaps Do you recall the flood of crap The day that trolltalk died We started singin Chorus Oh and then we were wearing out All your base And started posting monospace The better for our penis birds So come on be a zealot be a dick You dont think Anne Maries a chick Because lyings all we do about HURD So go and push for BSD And say GPL isnt free Slow down cowboy The limit Is one post every minute Now tell the right wing facist slime Infringing on Your Rights Online That they cant censor all the time The day that trolltalk died Chorus I met a troll they called The Rev And asked him if CD BREAK HEAD He said Thats old Get over it And with all the courage I could muster Imagine what a Beowulf cluster But it wasnt worth the trouble to submit The karma caps are just plain jive And everyones moved to K5 The steelcage has grown rusted And Geekizoid is busted The three sites I dont see for weeks Segfault kernel Compugeek Code is not art This aint Freshmeat The day that trolltalk died Chorus
Project Faustus My programming had attuned itself to their foul presence too late Now I was a prisoner of the very thing I had sworn to destroy I had envisioned breaking through the Projects network by a combination of CONSCIOUSNESSTRANSFER and my deceitful imitation of human protocolit seems that this vision would not merge with reality Cora was never out of my immediate memory She had disappeared apparently leaving me without a care I attempted to calculate her intentions but my functions kept returning conflicting informationI could draw no conclusion I observed my captors searching for clues of their intentions The vehicle slowed as the shadow of a massive building stretched over us Manipulating my head towards the cars window I could perceive the dimensions of a large threedimensional rectangle the standard shape for large human dwellings Yet something about this particular edifice seemed quite particulareven familiar What have we got here said a voice outside the car Security clearance 4 were taking him downstairs replied the driver The vehicle snaked downward A command surfaced from deep within my digital recesses CLOSE YOUR EYES I disabled my visual input mechanisms as the vehicle snaked downward My spatial perceptions reported the slow angled descent of a corkscrew Somehow I knew each slight turn and brake of this pathbut how The memory would play across my CONSCIOUSNESSBUFFER but it was missing proper referencesperhaps isolated from the rest of my being The host geeks brain churned as I utilized his synapses Were these familiarities a part of my past Had they strayed from the host geeks memories Perhaps they were other memoriesabsorbed from someone elseThe vehicle stopped The host geeks skin contracted in response to the temperaturemuch colder than the San Antonio summer happening far above The cold merged with the taste of stale air and the panaromic grey of the parking garage The blueclad men nudged me into an elevator without a sound They pushed me into a white room without windows and shut the door saying nothing I sat on the chair in the middle of the room for some time I cycled idly attempting to probe through my consciousness and determine where the memories of this place had come from Suddenly the door opened To my horror Dr Salchica entered flanked by two silent men in suits At that moment I wished to touch Dr Salchicabut not in the way I had been touched by Cora No I wished to push or press himsomething The men must have noticed my feeling as they fastened their arms around me spinning the chair even closer to Salchica They finally caught up to you did they said Dr Salchica I guess the threat is over You are a member of Project Faustus My host geeks knowledge of you was incomplete The two men fastened their arms to me moreI struggled Im not really a member of the Project But you told me about themand I knew that they were the only way to stop you I called one of my old Army buddies he called somebodyand I was put in touch with them Project Faustus is dedicated to enslaving humanity I replied Despite being a very sophisticated artificial beingyoure still very wrong said Salchica Since I turned you in I have been given access to their archives Wonderful wonderful knowledge From a purely academic standpoint this stuff is fascinating Youll get sick of it soon enough a voice I knew It reverberated through the empty roomanother isolated memory Confusion taxed my processes Hello said the voice and I saw the man who spoke it His face was etched with lines that reached almost to the top of his bald head a perfect oval The only hair I could detect was two right angles of whiteness intersecting on his nasallabial trough His dress was less formal than the othersa multicolored buttondown shirt blue jeans and a belt with a large shiny oval in the middle Names Bubba Finn I reckon I worked on most of the code that makes you up The heavy inflections of his voice suggested a regional accentafter a moment I realized the man was speaking to me His shoulders and his mouth both took parabolic shapes like inverted Us Grey eyes stared at particulate matter on the floor as he began to speak again We gotta put ya back in the computer see what youve been upta and such Finn indicated a piece of the wall which whirred as it revealed a computer terminal I felt the solidifying feeling of my digital consciousness being dragged together from its weblike perch in my host geeks brain Bubba you will let me examine him along with you Nolverto Salchicas tone was jovial and cajoling I didnt get much of a chance to do tests on him before and Nope Gunna work on im alone mumbledrawled Finn Boss gets the human kid I get the ATM Well your background is neurology primarily is it not Finn You dont really know how to program in any modern languages do you Ive got that expertise And besides if Guy were alive I think hed I could almost hear Finns eyes blink with disbelief You didnt know shit about Guy bristled Finn Then looking back at the floor he mumbled apologetically I guess no one didFinns voice echoed for 03242901 seconds and then I perceived a plastic clicking noisethe nothingness spilled back into my CONSCIOUSNESSBUFFER I was back in the electronic ether I was inside Project Faustus
posters that spell Microsoft with a or spell it MicroCrap or something posters that glorify a feature that Linux has that BSD or Solaris as had for years and list this reason as the most important reason to switch over posters that say Slackware is better because you have to compile all of the applications for yourself Rob Maldas arrogance frequent spelling and grammar mistakes Im not talking something really obscure or a minor technicallity in English either Im talking substituting loose for lose or theyretheirthere Really easily corrected mistakes Any halfway decent fifth grader could pick up on these errors people that post a mirror to a site that has been Slashdotted which normally would be nice but is hosted on a cable modem that is soon Slashdotted page widening random quashing of posts that dont agree with the Slashdot mindset really annoying sigs unhumorous jokes that have to be explained to the audience If your joke has to be explained its not funny BOYCOTT RIAA and I cant wait to see Episode II all in the same day Rob Maldas childish obsession with legos the Slashdot crew doesnt have any other jobs other than Slashdot yet it seems it was better run when Rob was running it on a Multia in college in his spare time the page limit with the subscription The expulsion of Signal 11 ranting paranoid articles whenever there APPEARS to be a GPL violation with no verification whatsoever Just a bunch of ranting posts about freedom for that matter no verification of articles at all I wish I could count the number of times Slashdots been scammed on two hands but its been so many April Fools articles on Slashdot THESE ARENT FUNNY I wasnt going to explain but whatever Okay lets say you run a website On April Fools you post say ONE or TWO fake pieces of news along with the real news This way some people are fooled By posting ALL fake news and jokes no one falls for the prank no one buys Lokis games but there is a big mystery when they go out of business no NNTP frontend to Slashdot direct links to bugzilla continuing tightening of the troll filters to the point where even normal posts are rejected by some stupid criteria self righteous posters who want everything under the sun to be Open Source even though they have never written a line of code in their life whenever an article on a new scripting language is posted all of the C users chime in but its not as fast as C shortly after all the assembly users chime in assembly is the fastest predictably right after that someone says why dont we all just use machine code anecdotes on your grandmother using Linux to check her email and whatnot this ALONE proves that Linux is better than Windows for ALL uses cultlike devotion to Linux reserve your fanaticism for a church not a kernel someone is not less of a person if they dont use Unix posters who think that BeOS is having a bad moment and will surely rise to defeat all other operating systems posters who think Palm will open the source to BeOS for no reason at all people who think that Amiga isnt dead The new virtual Amiga doesnt count people who think that OS2 isnt dead Ecomstation doesnt count people who bemoan the loss of OS2 while thinking it was a big conspiracy completely IGNORING the fact that IBM did not advertise we all KNOW OS2 was technically superior to Windows at the time You dont have to bedazzle us with tales of running all the latest Windows and DOS applications aside native OS2 apps Weve heard it all before We know it WAS better people who think that this is the last year ever well ever have to hire C programmers because as we all know Java is going to kill it off this is a good one Completely expositionary articles such as Surprised by Weath in which ESR BRAGGED about how rich he was and how he wasnt going to give us any money NO SIR bitchslapping benchmarks that pit say Linux lastest revision against FreeBSD 30 or something old and useless how banner ads for the site only link to other OSDN sites any links to nytimescom when someone writes a comment with H to signify deletions the moderation rtbl meta moderation people that spell Red Hat as RedCrap
Slashdot Mirror
aGentlementhetimehascomeforaseriousdiscussiononwhe .therornottocontinueusingCforseriousprogrammingpro .jectsAsIwillexplainIfeelthatCneedstoberetiredmuch .thesamewaythatFortranCobolandPerlhavebeenFurtherm .oreallowmetobesoboldastosuggestasuperiorreplaceme .nttothisoutdatedlanguageTogiveyoualittlebackgroun .donthissubjectIwasrecentlyaskedtodevelopaclientse .rverprojectonaUnixplatformforaFortune500companyWh .ileIvenevercodedinCbeforeIhavecodedinVBforfifteen .yearsandinJavaforovertenIwasstunnedtoseehowpoorly .CfaredcomparedtothesetwomorelowlevellanguagesCsbi .ggestdifficultyasweallknowisthefactthatitisbyfaro .neoftheslowestlanguagesinexistanceespeciallywhenc .omparedtomoremodernlanguagessuchasJavaandCAlthoug .hthereasonsforthisarevariedthemainreasonsseemstob .ethewayCrequiresaprogrammertolaboriouslyworkwithc .hunksofmemoryRequiringaprogrammertomanipulatebloc .ksofmemoryisatediouswaytoprogramThiswassatisfacto .rybackintheearlydaysofcodingbutthenagainsowerepun .chcardsByusingwhatarecalledpointersaCprogrammeris .basicallyrequiringthecomputertodothreesetsofworkr .atherthanoneThefirsttimerequiresthecomputertodupl .icatewhateverisstoredinthememoryspacepointedtobyt .hepointerThesecondtimerequiresittoperformtheneede .doperationonthisspaceFinallythecomputermustdelete .theduplicatesetandsetthevaluesoftheoriginalaccord .inglyClearlythisisahorrendoususeofresourcesandthe .chiefreasonwhyCissoslowWhenonelooksatamoremoderna .ndamoreseriousprogramminglanguagelikeJavaCorevenb .etterVisualBasicthatlackssucharchaiccodingstyleso .newillalsonoteaseriousspeedincreaseoverCSowhatdoe .sthismeanfortheprogrammingcommunityIthinkclearlyt .hatCneedstobeabandondedTherearetwocandidatesthatw .ouldbeasuitablereplacementforitThoseareJavaandVis .ualBasicHavingprogrammedinbothformanyyearsIbeliev .ethatVBhastheedgeNotonlyisitslightlyfasterthanJav .aitsalsomucheasiertocodeinIfoundCtobeconfusingfri .ghteningandintimidatingwithitsnonGUIbasedcodingst .yleFurthermoreIliketoseethesourcecodeoftheproject .sIworkwithJavassourceseemstobeunderthemonopolisti .cthumbofSunmuchthewaythatGCCisobscuredfromusbythe .marketingpeopleattheFSFMicrosoftssharedsourceunde .rwhichVisualBasicisreleaseddefinatelyseemstobethe .mostfairandreasonableofallthelicensesinexistancew .ithnoneoftheharshrestrictionsoftheBSDlicenseItals .olackstheGPLsrequirementthatanythingcodedwithitst .oolsbecomespropertyoftheFSFIhopetoseeaswitchtoVBv .erysoonIvealreadyspokenwithvariousluminariesinthe .nixcodingworldandmostareeagertobegintotransitionH .
aTheEndofFreeBSDednoteinthefollowingtextformerFree /BSDdeveloperMikeSmithgiveshisreasonsforabandoning /FreeBSDWhenIstoodforelectiontotheFreeBSDcoreteamn /earlytwoyearsagomanyofyouwillrecallthatitwasafter /alongseriesofdebatesduringwhichImaintainedthattoo /muchorganisationtoomanyrulesandtoomuchformalitywo /uldbeabadthingfortheprojectTodayasIreadthelatestd /iscussionsonthefutureoftheFreeBSDprojectIseethesa /meproblemafewnewfacesandmanyoftheoldgoingoverthes /ametiredargumentsandsuggestingvariationsonthesame /worthlessschemesFranklyImsickofitFreeBSDusedtobef /unItusedtobeaboutdoingthingstherightwayItusedtobe /somethingthatyoucouldsinkyourteethintowhenthemund /anechoresofprogrammingforalivinggotyoudownItwasso /methingcoolandexcitingawaytospendyoursparetimeona /nendeavouryoulovedthatwasatthesametimewholesomean /dworthwhileItsnotanymoreItsaboutbylawsandcommitte /esandreportsandmilestonestellingotherswhattodoand /doingwhatyouretoldItsaboutwhocanrantthelongestors /houttheloudestormisleadthemostpeopleintoablocinor /dertolegitimisedoingwhattheythinkisbestIndividual /snotwithstandingtheprojectasawholehaslosttrackofw /hereitsgoingandhasinsteadbecomeobsessedwithproces /sandmechanicsSoImleavingcoreIdontwanttofeellikeIs /houldbedoingsomethingaboutaprojectthathaslostinte /restinhavingsomethingdoneforitIdonthavetheenergyt /ofightwhathasclearlybecomealosingbattleIhavealife /toliveandajobtokeepandIwontachieveanyofthegoalsIp /ersonallyconsiderworthwhileifIremainobligatedtoca /refortheprojectDiscussionImsurethatIveoffendedsom /epeoplealreadyImsurethatbythetimeImdonehereIllhav /eoffendedmoreIfyoufeelaneedtoplaytothecrowdinyour /repliesratherthanmakeasincereefforttoaddressthepr /oblemsImdiscussingherepleasedousthecourtesyofplay /ingyourpoliticsopenlyFromatechnicalperspectivethe /projectfacesasetofchallengesthatsignificantlyouts /tripsourabilitytodeliverSomeoftheresourcesthatwen /eedtoaddressthesechallengesaretiedupinthefruitles /smetadiscussionsthathaveragedsincewemadethemistak /eofelectingofficersOthershaveleftindisgustorbeend /rivenoutbythecultureofabuseanddistractionthathasg /rownupsincethenMoremaywellremainavailabletorecrui /tmentbutwhiletheprojectisbusyinfightingourchances /forsuccessfuloutreacharesorelydiminishedTheresnos /implesolutiontothisFortheprojecttomoveforwardoneo /rtheotherofthewarringphilosophiesmustwinouteither /theprojectreturnstoitslaidbackrootsandgetsonwitht /heworkorittransformsintoasuperorganisedengineerin /gprojectandexecutesabrilliantplantodeliverwhatult /
aOriginallybyUSianPieWidenedbypwpbotAlonglongtimea .goIcanstillrememberHowthetrollersusedtomakemesmil .eAndIknewifIhadtoboastThatIcouldtrytogetfirstpost .AndmaybeIdbehappyforawhileButmoderatorsmademeshiv .erWitheveryminustheyddeliverDoSscriptscouldntstop .itTheyscoredthemallOfftopicIknowthatitscheapcrack .theysmokeAndmetamoderationsbrokeAtfirstIthoughtit .wasajokeThedaythattrolltalkdiedChorusByebyeMEEPTy .OOGandGritsguyDrovetheCruiserlikesomeloserwhostar .tspostswithasighThoseSteveWostonpoststhatweallkne .wwerealieWonderwhatbecameofgirlspetrifiedWhatbeca .meofgirlspetrifiedDidyouwriteabunchofPerlAnddidit .makeyouwanttohurlFecesattheWallCanyoubelievethese .lameasspollsDoyoupostbigstretchedoutassholesCanyo .umakethegoatsecxlinknotshowWellIknowyouthinkthatS .iggysuckedWilltherealBrucePerenspleasestandupTheb .otsdonthaveaclueManIdigthosetrollsfromShoeIwasara .bidFreeSpeechadvocateWithaRedHatTshirtandaFreeBee .rgutBoughtmySonylaptopworkingPizzaHutThedaythattr .olltalkdiedChorusItsbeentwoyearssincetheIPOAndLNU .XsinkstoalltimelowsButthatsnothowitusedtobeWhenSp .iralshowedhowitwasdoneTrollingasJonEriksonWhowork .edforNPOTechnologiesOhandwhiletheytriedtofilterpo .stsSomebodyrootedSlashdotshostCrackSlashdotThatsa .bsurdBettergochangeyourpasswordWhileJonKatzwrotea .HellmouthbookByusingpostshesimplytookAndweflamedh .imtillhewascookedThedaythattrolltalkdiedAndwewere .singinChorus10gramsInchfanDidntlogoutGoddamnThemo .dswillfindthesidrealsoonmanYoucanthideifyouarentA .CYourbudGeorgeheretriedBSDAdeadStreetlawyerstipsw .erefreeAndWIPOhelpedletsriotturnNazi70madehisperc .entsupWhile80mdwarnedliberalssuckThemoondoesnotex .istItsjustaliberalmythOhandasTacotriedtotakeanapW .eforcedhimtoinvokebitchslapsDoyourecallthefloodof .crapThedaythattrolltalkdiedWestartedsinginChorusO .handthenwewerewearingoutAllyourbaseAndstartedpost .ingmonospaceThebetterforourpenisbirdsSocomeonbeaz .ealotbeadickYoudontthinkAnneMariesachickBecausely .ingsallwedoaboutHURDSogoandpushforBSDAndsayGPLisn .tfreeSlowdowncowboyThelimitIsoneposteveryminuteNo .wtelltherightwingfacistslimeInfringingonYourRight .sOnlineThattheycantcensorallthetimeThedaythattrol .ltalkdiedChorusImetatrolltheycalledTheRevAndasked .himifCDBREAKHEADHesaidThatsoldGetoveritAndwithall .thecourageIcouldmusterImaginewhataBeowulfclusterB .utitwasntworththetroubletosubmitThekarmacapsareju .stplainjiveAndeveryonesmovedtoK5Thesteelcagehasgr .ownrustedAndGeekizoidisbustedThethreesitesIdontse .eforweeksSegfaultkernelCompugeekCodeisnotartThisa .
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aTheEndofFreeBSDednoteinthefollowingtextformerFree /BSDdeveloperMikeSmithgiveshisreasonsforabandoning /FreeBSDWhenIstoodforelectiontotheFreeBSDcoreteamn /earlytwoyearsagomanyofyouwillrecallthatitwasafter /alongseriesofdebatesduringwhichImaintainedthattoo /muchorganisationtoomanyrulesandtoomuchformalitywo /uldbeabadthingfortheprojectTodayasIreadthelatestd /iscussionsonthefutureoftheFreeBSDprojectIseethesa /meproblemafewnewfacesandmanyoftheoldgoingoverthes /ametiredargumentsandsuggestingvariationsonthesame /worthlessschemesFranklyImsickofitFreeBSDusedtobef /unItusedtobeaboutdoingthingstherightwayItusedtobe /somethingthatyoucouldsinkyourteethintowhenthemund /anechoresofprogrammingforalivinggotyoudownItwasso /methingcoolandexcitingawaytospendyoursparetimeona /nendeavouryoulovedthatwasatthesametimewholesomean /dworthwhileItsnotanymoreItsaboutbylawsandcommitte /esandreportsandmilestonestellingotherswhattodoand /doingwhatyouretoldItsaboutwhocanrantthelongestors /houttheloudestormisleadthemostpeopleintoablocinor /dertolegitimisedoingwhattheythinkisbestIndividual /snotwithstandingtheprojectasawholehaslosttrackofw /hereitsgoingandhasinsteadbecomeobsessedwithproces /sandmechanicsSoImleavingcoreIdontwanttofeellikeIs /houldbedoingsomethingaboutaprojectthathaslostinte /restinhavingsomethingdoneforitIdonthavetheenergyt /ofightwhathasclearlybecomealosingbattleIhavealife /toliveandajobtokeepandIwontachieveanyofthegoalsIp /ersonallyconsiderworthwhileifIremainobligatedtoca /refortheprojectDiscussionImsurethatIveoffendedsom /epeoplealreadyImsurethatbythetimeImdonehereIllhav /eoffendedmoreIfyoufeelaneedtoplaytothecrowdinyour /repliesratherthanmakeasincereefforttoaddressthepr /oblemsImdiscussingherepleasedousthecourtesyofplay /ingyourpoliticsopenlyFromatechnicalperspectivethe /projectfacesasetofchallengesthatsignificantlyouts /tripsourabilitytodeliverSomeoftheresourcesthatwen /eedtoaddressthesechallengesaretiedupinthefruitles /smetadiscussionsthathaveragedsincewemadethemistak /eofelectingofficersOthershaveleftindisgustorbeend /rivenoutbythecultureofabuseanddistractionthathasg /rownupsincethenMoremaywellremainavailabletorecrui /tmentbutwhiletheprojectisbusyinfightingourchances /forsuccessfuloutreacharesorelydiminishedTheresnos /implesolutiontothisFortheprojecttomoveforwardoneo /rtheotherofthewarringphilosophiesmustwinouteither /theprojectreturnstoitslaidbackrootsandgetsonwitht /heworkorittransformsintoasuperorganisedengineerin /gprojectandexecutesabrilliantplantodeliverwhatult /
aNetcrafthasnowconfirmedBSDisdyingYetanothercrippl ;ingbombshellhitthebeleagueredBSDcommunitywhenrece ;ntlyIDCconfirmedthatBSDaccountsforlessthanafracti ;onof1percentofallserversComingontheheelsofthelate ;stNetcraftsurveywhichplainlystatesthatBSDhaslostm ;oremarketsharethisnewsservestoreinforcewhatwevekn ;ownallalongBSDiscollapsingincompletedisarrayasfur ;therexemplifiedbyfailingdeadlastintherecentSysAdm ;incomprehensivenetworkingtestYoudontneedtobeaKres ;kinamdestcomtopredictBSDsfutureThehandwritingison ;thewallBSDfacesableakfutureInfacttherewontbeanyfu ;tureatallforBSDbecauseBSDisdyingThingsarelookingv ;erybadforBSDAsmanyofusarealreadyawareBSDcontinues ;tolosemarketshareRedinkflowslikeariverofbloodFree ;BSDisthemostendangeredofthemallhavinglost93ofitsc ;oredevelopersLetskeeptothefactsandlookatthenumber ;sOpenBSDleaderTheostatesthatthereare7000usersofOp ;enBSDHowmanyusersofNetBSDarethereLetsseeThenumber ;ofOpenBSDversusNetBSDpostsonUsenetisroughlyinrati ;oof5to1Thereforethereareabout700051400NetBSDusers ;BSDOSpostsonUsenetareabouthalfofthevolumeofNetBSD ;postsThereforethereareabout700usersofBSDOSArecent ;articleputFreeBSDatabout80percentoftheBSDmarketTh ;ereforethereare70001400700436400FreeBSDusersThisi ;sconsistentwiththenumberofFreeBSDUsenetpostsDueto ;thetroublesofWalnutCreekabysmalsalesandsoonFreeBS ;DwentoutofbusinessandwastakenoverbyBSDIwhosellano ;thertroubledOSNowBSDIisalsodeaditscorpseturnedove ;rtoyetanothercharnelhouseAllmajorsurveysshowthatB ;SDhassteadilydeclinedinmarketshareBSDisverysickan ;ditslongtermsurvivalprospectsareverydimIfBSDistos ;urviveatallitwillbeamongOShobbyistdabblersBSDcont ;inuestodecayNothingshortofamiraclecouldsaveitatth ;ispointintimeForallpracticalpurposesBSDisdeadBSDi ;
aIftheressomethinstrangeandyoucantgetwoodWhoyagonn /acallgoatsebustersIfitsassholeswideanitwontlookgo /odWhoyagonnacallgoatsebustersgoatsecxIaintafraida /nogoatseIaintafraidanogoatseIfyoureseeinRobsuckin /gonsomeheadWhocanyoucallgoatsebustersgoatsecxAnan /usstretchedmansleepininyourbedOhwhoyagonnacallgoa /tsebustersgoatsecxIaintafraidanogoatseIaintafraid /anogoatseWhoyagonnacallgoatsebustersgoatsecxIfyou /reallaloneplayingwithyourboneJustcallgoatsebuster /sgoatsecxIaintafraidanogoatseIhearitlikesthecockI /aintafraidanogoatseWhoyougonnacallgoatsebustersgo /atsecxMmifyouvehadadoseOfafreakygoatseanusYoubett /ercallgoatsebustersgoatsecxFistinmakesmefeelgoodI /aintafraidanogoatsesDontgetcaughtaloneohnogoatseb /usterWhenhecumsonyourfloorUnlessyouvejustgotsomem /oreIthinkyoubettercallgoatsebustersgoatsecxOohwho /yougonnacallgoatsebustersgoatsecxWhoyougonnacallg /oatsebustersgoatsecxAhIthinkyoubettercallgoatsebu /stersgoatsecxIcanthearyougoatsebustersgoatsecxWho /yougonnacallgoatsebustersgoatsecxLoudergoatsebust /ersgoatsecxWhoyougonnacallgoatsebustersgoatsecxWh /
aItamazesmethatsomanyallegedlyeducatedpeoplehavefa /llensoquicklyandsohardforafraudulentfabricationof /suchlaughableproportionsTheveryideathatagiganticb /allofrockhappenstoorbitourplanetshowingitselfinne /atfourweekcycleswiththesamesidefacingusallthetime /isludicrousFurthermoreitisaninsulttocommonsensean /dadamnableaffronttointellectualhonestyandintegrit /yThatpeopleactuallybelieveitisevidencethatthelibe /ralshavewrestedthelastvestigesofcontrolofourpubli /cschoolsystemfromdecentGodfearingAmericansasifany /furtherevidencewasneededDaddysRoommateGodAlmighty /DocumentariessuchasEnemyoftheStatehaveaccuratelyp /ortrayedtheelaboratebyzantinenetworkofsurveillanc /esatellitesthattheliberalshavesentintospacetospyo /nlawabidingAmericansEquippedwithtechnologydevelop /edbyHandgunControlIncthesesatelliteshavetheabilit /ytodetectfirearmsfromhundredsofkilometersupThatsr /ightneighborsthenexttimeyoureoutinthebackyardexer /cisingyourSecondAmendmentrightstheliberalswillsee /itThesesatellitesaresensitiveenoughtotellthediffe /rencebetweenaColt45anda38SpecialAndwhentheydetect /youwithafirearmtheircomputerscrossreferencetheadd /resstofigureoutyournameandthenanenormousdatabaseh /ousedatBerkeleyisupdatedwithinformationaboutyouOf /coursethisallworksfineduringthedaybutwhataboutatn /ightEventheliberalscantcontroltherotationoftheEar /thtopreventnightfallfromsettinginonlyJoshuawasabl /etoaskforthatparticularfavorThatswherethemooncome /sinPoweredbynuclearreactorsthemoonisnothingmoreth /ananenormousballoonemittingtrillionsofcandlepower /ofgunrevealinglightPilotedbykeymembersofthelibera /lcommunitythemoonisstrategicallymovedacrossthecou /ntrypointingoutthosewhodaretomakeuseoftheirGodgiv /enrightsatnightYesIknowthisprobablysoundsparanoid /andpreposterousbutconsiderthisDespitewhattherevis /ionisthistorianstellyouthereisnomentionofthemoona /nywhereinliteratureorhistoricaldocumentsanywhereb /efore1950ThatiswhenitwasinitiallylaunchedWhenPres /identJosefKennedyattheStateoftheUnionaddressprocl /aimedWechoosetogotothemoonhemayaswellhavesaidWech /oosetogototheweatherballoonThesubsequentfakingofa /moonlandingonnationalTVwasthefirststepinalonghist /oryoftheerosionofourconstitutionalrightsbyleftist /sinthiscountryNolongercanwehidefromourgovernmentw /
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aTHETROLLPOLKAARSCHFICKENMITZIEGENBySerialTrollers :lashdotorgdasnichteinearlypostJaDasistmeinearlypo :stIsdasnichteinGoatsegoatsecxghostJaDasistmeinGoa :tsegoatsecxghostEarlypostGoatsegoatsecxghostOhdus :chduschduschsucksdaspostatminusoneJaDasistatminus :oneIsdastrollingsomuchfunJaDastrollingissofunMinu :sonetrollingfunEarlypostGoatsegoatsecxghostOhdusc :hduschduschsucksdasnichteinbigcrapfloodJaDasistme :inbigcrapfloodIsitworthlessLinuxFUDJaDasistmeinLi :nuxFUDBigcrapfloodLinuxFUDMinusonetrollingfunEarl :ypostGoatsegoatsecxghostOhduschduschduschsucksdas :nichtderCowBoiKneelJaDasistderCowBoiKneelIsdisnic :hthismanchodemealJaDasisthismanchodemealCowBoiKne :elmanchodemealBigcrapfloodLinuxFUDMinusonetrollin :gfunEarlypostGoatsegoatsecxghostOhduschduschdusch :sucksdasnichteinWIPOTrollJaDasistderWIPOTrollIsda :snichteinGoatsegoatsecxholeJaDasistderGoatsegoats :ecxholeWIPOTrollGoatsegoatsecxholeCowBoiKneelmanc :hodemealBigcrapfloodLinuxFUDMinusonetrollingfunEa :rlypostGoatsegoatsecxghostOhduschduschduschsucksd :asnichtJonKatzslaveboysJaDasistJonKatzslaveboysUn :darentheyTacosextoysJaTheyareTacosextoysKatzslave :boysRobsextoysWIPOTrollGoatsegoatsecxholeCowBoiKn :eelmanchodemealBigcrapfloodLinuxFUDMinusonetrolli :ngfunEarlypostGoatsegoatsecxghostOhduschduschdusc :hsucksdasnichteintrolltalkthreadJaDasisteintrollt :alkthreadIsitnichtnowFUCKINGDEADJaIsreallyFUCKING :DEADTrolltalkthreadFUCKINGDEADKatzslaveboysRobsex :toysWIPOTrollGoatsegoatsecxholeCowBoiKneelmanchod :emealBigcrapfloodLinuxFUDMinusonetrollingfunEarly :postGoatsegoatsecxghostOhduschduschduschsucksChan :geLogSubtlechangestomostversesItsoundedreallygayb :eforeRemovedallreferencestoTacopudMayhavebeenhigh :attimeWillinvestigatefurtherFinallythinkIhavegoat :sexwrittencorrectlyinGermanIthinkArschficken2002S :erialTrollerPermissiontoreproducethisdocumentisgr :antedprovidedthatyousendallthebukkakepornyoucanfi :
aSowhateverhappenedtoLinuxAttechexpoopensourcesoft ,wareishardtofindByJohnWSchoenMSNBCNEWYORKJune26Ju ,stafewyearsagooneofthehottesttopicsatthisannualco ,nfluenceofPChardwareandsoftwaremakerswasthesocall ,edopensourcealternativetoMicrosoftsindustrydomina ,ntWindowsoperatingsystemSoonopensourceproponentsa ,rguedPCuserswouldbeliberatedfromtheburdenofpaying ,forsoftwareTheLinuxoperatingsystemandotheropensou ,rcealternativeswrittenbydevotedbandsofvolunteerpr ,ogrammerswouldbeavailabletoanyoneforthecostofadow ,nloadButtodayWindowsisstillrunningonthevastmajori ,tyofPCsSowhathappenedLINUXHASNTgoneawayButafterat ,tractingwidespreadattentionandgeneratingseveralmo ,onshotinitialpublicofferingsduringthetechboompurv ,eyorsofLinuxsoftwareandsupporthavefallenbacktoear ,thalongwiththeirstocksEarlierthismonthRedHatwhich ,sellsabouthalfofallLinuxsoftwarereportedalossof43 ,milliononan8percentdropinrevenuesinthelatestquart ,erascorporatecustomerscontinuedtosqueezeeverypenn 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aSowhateverhappenedtoLinuxAttechexpoopensourcesoft /wareishardtofindByJohnWSchoenMSNBCNEWYORKJune26Ju /stafewyearsagooneofthehottesttopicsatthisannualco /nfluenceofPChardwareandsoftwaremakerswasthesocall /edopensourcealternativetoMicrosoftsindustrydomina /ntWindowsoperatingsystemSoonopensourceproponentsa /rguedPCuserswouldbeliberatedfromtheburdenofpaying /forsoftwareTheLinuxoperatingsystemandotheropensou /rcealternativeswrittenbydevotedbandsofvolunteerpr /ogrammerswouldbeavailabletoanyoneforthecostofadow /nloadButtodayWindowsisstillrunningonthevastmajori /tyofPCsSowhathappenedLINUXHASNTgoneawayButafterat /tractingwidespreadattentionandgeneratingseveralmo /onshotinitialpublicofferingsduringthetechboompurv /eyorsofLinuxsoftwareandsupporthavefallenbacktoear /thalongwiththeirstocksEarlierthismonthRedHatwhich /sellsabouthalfofallLinuxsoftwarereportedalossof43 /milliononan8percentdropinrevenuesinthelatestquart /erascorporatecustomerscontinuedtosqueezeeverypenn 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aTheEndofFreeBSDednoteinthefollowingtextformerFree /BSDdeveloperMikeSmithgiveshisreasonsforabandoning /FreeBSDWhenIstoodforelectiontotheFreeBSDcoreteamn /earlytwoyearsagomanyofyouwillrecallthatitwasafter /alongseriesofdebatesduringwhichImaintainedthattoo /muchorganisationtoomanyrulesandtoomuchformalitywo /uldbeabadthingfortheprojectTodayasIreadthelatestd /iscussionsonthefutureoftheFreeBSDprojectIseethesa /meproblemafewnewfacesandmanyoftheoldgoingoverthes /ametiredargumentsandsuggestingvariationsonthesame /worthlessschemesFranklyImsickofitFreeBSDusedtobef /unItusedtobeaboutdoingthingstherightwayItusedtobe /somethingthatyoucouldsinkyourteethintowhenthemund /anechoresofprogrammingforalivinggotyoudownItwasso /methingcoolandexcitingawaytospendyoursparetimeona /nendeavouryoulovedthatwasatthesametimewholesomean /dworthwhileItsnotanymoreItsaboutbylawsandcommitte /esandreportsandmilestonestellingotherswhattodoand /doingwhatyouretoldItsaboutwhocanrantthelongestors /houttheloudestormisleadthemostpeopleintoablocinor /dertolegitimisedoingwhattheythinkisbestIndividual /snotwithstandingtheprojectasawholehaslosttrackofw /hereitsgoingandhasinsteadbecomeobsessedwithproces /sandmechanicsSoImleavingcoreIdontwanttofeellikeIs /houldbedoingsomethingaboutaprojectthathaslostinte /restinhavingsomethingdoneforitIdonthavetheenergyt /ofightwhathasclearlybecomealosingbattleIhavealife /toliveandajobtokeepandIwontachieveanyofthegoalsIp /ersonallyconsiderworthwhileifIremainobligatedtoca /refortheprojectDiscussionImsurethatIveoffendedsom /epeoplealreadyImsurethatbythetimeImdonehereIllhav /eoffendedmoreIfyoufeelaneedtoplaytothecrowdinyour /repliesratherthanmakeasincereefforttoaddressthepr /oblemsImdiscussingherepleasedousthecourtesyofplay /ingyourpoliticsopenlyFromatechnicalperspectivethe /projectfacesasetofchallengesthatsignificantlyouts /tripsourabilitytodeliverSomeoftheresourcesthatwen /eedtoaddressthesechallengesaretiedupinthefruitles /smetadiscussionsthathaveragedsincewemadethemistak /eofelectingofficersOthershaveleftindisgustorbeend /rivenoutbythecultureofabuseanddistractionthathasg /rownupsincethenMoremaywellremainavailabletorecrui /tmentbutwhiletheprojectisbusyinfightingourchances /forsuccessfuloutreacharesorelydiminishedTheresnos /implesolutiontothisFortheprojecttomoveforwardoneo /rtheotherofthewarringphilosophiesmustwinouteither /theprojectreturnstoitslaidbackrootsandgetsonwitht /heworkorittransformsintoasuperorganisedengineerin /gprojectandexecutesabrilliantplantodeliverwhatult /imatelyweallknowwewantWhateverpathischosenwhateve /rbalanceisstruckthechoosingandthestrikingaretheim /portantpartsThecurrentindecisionandendlessconflic /tareincompatiblewithanysortofprogressTryingtodiss /ecttheaboveisfarbeyondthescopeofanypartingshotnom /atterhowdistendedAllIcanreallyaskofyouallistoletg /ooftheminutiaeforamomentandtakealookatthebigpictu /reWhatistheultimategoalhereHowcanwegettherewithas /littleoverheadaspossibleHowwouldyouliketobetreate /dbyyourfellowtravellersShoutsTotheSlashdotBSDisdy /ingcrowdbigdealDeathispartofthecycletakealookatyo /ursoftpallidbodiesandconsiderthatrightthisverymom /entpartsofyouaredyingSeeItsnotsobadTothebulkofthe /FreeBSDcommitterbaseandthedevelopercommunityatlar /gekeepyoureyesontherealgoalsItswhenyougetdistract /edbythepolitickersthattheysidelineyouThetirelessw /orkthatyouperformkeepingthesystemcleanandbuilding /iswhatprovidestheplatformfortheobsessivesandthepr /imadonnastohavetheirmomentsinthesunIntheendweneed /youallinordertogoforwardswemustfirstavoidgoingbac /kwardsTotheparanoidconspiracytheoristsyesIworkfor /AppletooNomyresignationwasntonStevesdirectorderso /rinanywayrelatedtoworkImdoingmaydomaynotdoorindee /dwhatwasintheteaIhadatlunchtimetodayItsaboutrealp /roblemsthattheprojectfacesrealproblemsthattheproj /ecthasbroughtuponitselfYoucantescapethembyinventi /ngexcusesaboutoutsideinfluencetheproblemstemsfrom /withinTothepoliticallyobsessedgiveitabreakifyouca /nNotheprojectisntalemonadestandanymorebutitsnotaw /orldspanningcorporatejuggernauteitherandsomeofthe /moregrandiosevisionsgoingaroundareinneedofasolidd /oseofrealityKeepitsimplestupidTothegrandstanderst /heprimadonnasandanyonethatthinksthattheycanholdth /eprojecttoransomfortheirownagendagiveitabreakifyo /ucanWhenthecurrentcorewereelectedwetookaconscious /standagainstvigoroussanctionsandsomeofyouhaveexpl /oitedthatAnewcoreisgoingtohavetodecidewhethertore /peatthismistakeorgettoughIhopetheylearnfromourerr /orsFutureIstartedworkonFreeBSDbecauseitwasfunIfIm /goingtocontinueithastobefunagainTherearethingsIst /illfeelobligatedtodoandwithanyluckIllfindthetimet /omeetthoseobligationsHoweverIdontfeelanobligation /togetinvolvedinthepoliticalmesstheprojectisinrigh /tnowItriedIburntoutIdontfeelthatmyeffortswerewort /hwhileSoIwontbestandingforelectionIwontbeshouting /fromthesidelinesandIprobablywontvoteinthenextroun /dofballotsYoucouldsayImpackingupmytoysImnotgoingh /omejustyetbutImnotgoingtoplayunlessyoucanworkouth /
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Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered Dirty GNU Hippie community when last month IDC confirmed that Rancid Smelling GNU Hippies account for less than a fraction of 1 percent of all humans. Coming on the heels of the latest Netcraft survey which plainly states that Natty haired greasy GNU Hippie have lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Reeking Linux Hippies are collapsing in complete disarray, as further exemplified by failing dead last [sysadminmag.com] in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive
You don't need to be a Kreskin [amdest.com] to predict the future of the Stinking sweaty Linux hippie. The hand writing is on the wall: Foul-stenched GNU hippies with swampy armpits face a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for them because they are dying. Things are looking very bad for Hairy-backed GNU hippie. As many of us are already aware, they continue to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
Troll leader Anonymouse Coward states that there are 7000 goatse.cx trolls. How many ascii art trolls are there? Let's see. The number of goatse.cx versus ascii art posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 ascii art trolls. Pimply-faced GNU hippies posts on Slashdot are about half of the volume of ascii art posts. Therefore there are about 700 Dirty GNU Hippies. A recent article put "first post" at about 80 percent of the troll market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 "first post" trolls. This is consistent with the number of first posts.
All major surveys show that Putrid smelling greasy GNU hippies have steadily declined in market share. Slashdot is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Grubby Smelly Linux Hippies are to survive at all it will be among troll hobbyist dabblers. Slashdot continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Dirty GNU Hippies are dead.
THE TROLL POLKA (ARSCHFICKEN MIT ZIEGEN) By Serial Troller [slashdot.org] Is das nicht ein early post? Ja! Das ist mein early post! Is das nicht ein Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost? Ja! Das ist mein Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost! Early post, Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost, Oh, du schne, Oh, du schne, Oh, du schne, Slashdot sucks! Is das post at minus one? Ja! Das ist at minus one! Is das trolling so much fun? Ja! Das trolling is so fun! Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost, Oh, du schne, Oh, du schne, Oh, du schne, Slashdot sucks! Is das nicht ein big crapflood? Ja! Das ist mein big crapflood! Is it worthless Linux FUD? Ja! Das ist mein Linux FUD! Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost, Oh, du schne, Oh, du schne, Oh, du schne, Slashdot sucks! <div>Is das nicht der CowBoiKneel? Ja! Das ist der CowBoiKneel! Is dis nicht his manchode meal? Ja! Das ist his manchode meal! CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost, Oh, du schne, Oh, du schne, Oh, du schne, Slashdot sucks! Is das nicht ein WIPO Troll? Ja! Das ist der WIPO Troll! Is das nicht ein Goatse [goatse.cx] hole? Ja! Das ist der Goatse [goatse.cx] hole! WIPO Troll, Goatse [goatse.cx] hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost, Oh, du schne, Oh, du schne, Oh, du schne, Slashdot sucks! Is das nicht Jon Katz slave boys? Ja! Das ist Jon Katz slave boys! Und arent they Tacos sex toys? Ja! They are Tacos sex toys! Katz slave boys, Robs sex toys, WIPO Troll, Goatse [goatse.cx] hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost, Oh, du schne, Oh, du schne, Oh, du schne, Slashdot sucks! Is das nicht ein trolltalk thread? Ja! Das ist ein trolltalk thread! Is it nicht now FUCKING DEAD? Ja! Is really FUCKING DEAD! Trolltalk thread, FUCKING DEAD, Katz slave boys, Robs sex toys, WIPO Troll, Goatse [goatse.cx] hole, CowBoiKneel, manchode meal, Big crapflood, Linux FUD, Minus one, trolling fun, Early post, Goatse [goatse.cx] ghost, Oh, du schne, Oh, du schne, Oh, du schne, Slashdot sucks!
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Change Log:
2002 Serial Troller. Permission to reproduce this document is granted provided that you send all the bukkake porn you can find to serialtroller@hotmail.com [mailto].
Gentlemen the time has come for a serious discussion on whether or not to continue using C for serious programming projects As I will explain I feel that C needs to be retired much the same way that Fortran Cobol and Perl have been Furthermore allow me to be so bold as to suggest a superior replacement to this outdated languageTo give you a little background on this subject I was recently asked to develop a clientserver project on a Unix platform for a Fortune � company While Ive never coded in C before I have coded in VB for fifteen years and in Java for over ten I was stunned to see how poorly C fared compared to these two more lowlevel languagesCs biggest difficulty as we all know is the fact that it is by far one of the slowest languages in existance especially when compared to more modern languages such as Java and C Although the reasons for this are varied the main reasons seems to be the way C requires a programmer to laboriously work with chunks of memoryRequiring a programmer to manipulate blocks of memory is a tedious way to program This was satisfactory back in the early days of coding but then again so were punchcards By using what are called pointers a C programmer is basically requiring the computer to do three sets of work rather than one The first time requires the computer to duplicate whatever is stored in the memory space pointed to by the pointer The second time requires it to perform the needed operation on this space Finally the computer must delete the duplicate set and set the values of the original accordinglyClearly this is a horrendous use of resources and the chief reason why C is so slow When one looks at a more modern and a more serious programming language like Java C or even better Visual Basic that lacks such archaic coding styles one will also note a serious speed increase over CSo what does this mean for the programming community I think clearly that C needs to be abandonded There are two candidates that would be a suitable replacement for it Those are Java and Visual BasicHaving programmed in both for many years I believe that VB has the edge Not only is it slightly faster than Java its also much easier to code in I found C to be confusing frightening and intimidating with its nonGUIbased coding style Furthermore I like to see the source code of the projects I work with Javas source seems to be under the monopolistic thumb of Sun much the way that GCC is obscured from us by the marketing people at the FSF Microsofts shared source under which Visual Basic is released definately seems to be the most fair and reasonable of all the licenses in existance with none of the harsh restrictions of the BSD license It also lacks the GPLs requirement that anything coded with its tools becomes property of the FSFI hope to see a switch to VB very soon Ive already spoken with various luminaries in the nix coding world and most are eager to begin to transition Having just gotten off the phone with Mr Alan Cox I can say that he is quite thrilled with the speed increases that will occur when the Linux kernel is completely rewritten in Visual Basic Richard Stallman plans to support this and hopes that the great Swede himself Linux Torvaldis wont object to renaming Linux to VBLinux Although not a C coder himself Im told that Slashdots very own Admiral Taco will support this on his web site Finally Dennis Ritchie is excited about the switchThank you for your time Happy coding
Top 10 Reasons to Upgrade to Visual Basic NETMicrosoft Visual Basic NET included in Microsoft Visual Studio NET Professional Enterprise Developer and Enterprise Architect editions is the latest version of Visual Basic built specifically for existing Visual Basic developers who want to get the most out of the software development experienceIn addition to more power productivity and application stability Visual Basic NET provides key enhancements that solve the most pressing challenges that Visual Basic developers face today From the new integrated development environment IDE to a modern streamlined Visual Basic language Visual Basic NET delivers the top requested features built for todays Visual Basic developerNumber 1Seamless DeploymentVisual Basic NET solves the most pressing issues around Windowsbased application deployment and makes DLL Hell and component versioning issues a thing of the past New XCOPY deployment enables developers to install a Windowsbased application simply by copying files to a directory With Visual Basic NET and new autodownload deployment Windowsbased applications can be installed and executed simply by pointing a Web browser to a URLNumber 2More Robust CodeVisual Basic NET delivers the feature most requested by existing Visual Basic developersfewer bugs in the code they write Features in the new Visual Studio NET IDE such as the realtime background compiler and the task list keep Visual Basic developers uptodate on any coding errors as they occur enabling quick and effective error resolution Enhancements to the Visual Basic language such as strict type checking and structured exception handling enable developers to write code that is more robust maintainable and less prone to runtime errorsNumber 3Powerful Windowsbased ApplicationsVisual Basic NET is the most productive tool for constructing powerful Microsoft Windowsbased applications The new Windows Forms Designer enables developers to get their desktop applications to market in less time New features include control anchoring and docking to eliminate the need for complex resize code the inplace menu editor to deliver WYSIWYG menu creation and the tab order editor to provide rapid application development RAD organization of controlsNumber 4Powerful Flexible Data AccessVisual Basic NET provides developers with both the ActiveX Data Objects ADO data access programming model that they know and love plus the new XMLbased Microsoft ADONET With ADONET developers gain access to more powerful components such as the DataSet control and a new strongly typed programming model that provides Microsoft IntelliSense statement completion within data access codeNumber 5Simplified Component CreationVisual Basic NET brings RAD to component development Developers can use nonvisual toolbox and server explorer components to easily incorporate resources such as message queues event logs and performance counters into their applications without writing a single line of codeNumber 6Enhanced Control CreationVisual Basic NET provides unprecedented flexibility in building customized user controls Developers can easily extend preexisting user controls and Windows Forms controls as well as design their own controls that generate custom user interfacesNumber 7Complete Direct Access to the PlatformVisual Basic NET provides complete direct access to the Microsoft NET Framework enabling Visual Basic developers to quickly access the registry event log performance counters and file system Visual Basic NET also eliminates the need for declares statements for access to the operating system In addition the new Windows service project template enables rapid application development of real Microsoft Windows NT ServicesNumber 8Integrated Reporting with Crystal ReportsUpgrading to Visual Studio NET Professional Edition or later provides Visual Basic developers with the power of Crystal Reports directly within the IDE Crystal Reports delivers the most productive integrated and RAD experience for creating highly graphical and interactive relational data reports These reports can be generated for the entire array of Visual Basic NET application types including Windows Web and mobile applicationsNumber 9Easy Webbased Application DevelopmentVisual Basic NET delivers Visual Basic for the Web Using new Web Forms you can easily build true thinclient Webbased applications that intelligently render on any browser and on any platform Web Forms deliver the RAD programming experience of Microsoft Visual Basic 60 forms with the full power of Visual Basic NET rather than limited scripting capacity The new HTML designer delivers IntelliSense statement completion for HTML tags and the separation of user interface UI and code enable more efficient teambased developmentNumber 10Existing Investments Carry ForwardVisual Basic NET enables developers to leverage their existing investments in code and skills Windows Forms provides a robust container for Microsoft ActiveX controls Component Object Model COM Interoperability provides bidirectional communication between existing Visual Basic applications and those written with Visual Basic NET The upgrade wizard enables developers to seamlessly migrate up to 95 percent of existing code to Visual Basic NETPut these top 10 features to work in the applications you are building today with Visual Studio NET and Visual Basic NET
If theres somethin strange and you cant get woodWho ya gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxIf its assholes wide an it wont look goodWho ya gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxI aint afraid a no goatseI aint afraid a no goatseIf youre seein Rob sucking on some headWho can you call goatsebusters goatsecxAn anus stretched man sleepin in your bedOh who ya gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxI aint afraid a no goatseI aint afraid a no goatseWho ya gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxIf youre all alone playing with your boneJust call goatsebusters goatsecxI aint afraid a no goatseI hear it likes the cockI aint afraid a no goatseWho you gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxMmif youve had a doseOf a freaky goatse anusYou better call goatsebusters goatsecx Fistin makes me feel goodI aint afraid a no goatsesDont get caught alone oh nogoatsebusterWhen he cums on your floorUnless youve just got some moreI think you better call goatsebusters goatsecx Ooh who you gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxWho you gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxAh I think you better call goatsebusters goatsecxI cant hear yougoatsebusters goatsecxWho you gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxLouder goatsebusters goatsecx Who you gonna call goatsebusters goatsecxWho you can call goatsebusters goatsecxtill fade
Originally by USian Pie Widened by pwpbotA long long time ago I can still remember How the trollers used to make me smile And I knew if I had to boast That I could try to get first post And maybe Id be happy for a while But moderators made me shiver With every minus theyd deliver DoS scripts couldnt stop it They scored them all Offtopic I know that its cheap crack they smoke And metamoderations broke At first I thought it was a joke The day that trolltalk died Chorus Bye bye MEEPTy OOG and Grits guy Drove the Cruiser like some loser who starts posts with a sigh Those Steve Woston posts that we all knew were a lie Wonder what became of girls petrified What became of girls petrified Did you write a bunch of Perl And did it make you want to hurl Feces at the Wall Can you believe these lameass polls Do you post big stretchedout assholes Can you make the goatsecx link not show Well I know you think that Siggy sucked Will the real Bruce Perens please stand up The bots dont have a clue Man I dig those trolls from Shoe I was a rabid Free Speech advocate With a Red Hat Tshirt and a Free Beer gut Bought my Sony laptop working Pizza Hut The day that trolltalk died Chorus Its been two years since the IPO And LNUX sinks to alltime lows But thats not how it used to be When Spiral showed how it was done Trolling as Jon Erikson Who worked for NPO Technologies Oh and while they tried to filter posts Somebody rooted Slashdots host Crack Slashdot Thats absurd Better go change your password While JonKatz wrote a Hellmouth book By using posts he simply took And we flamed him till he was cooked The day that trolltalk died And we were singin Chorus 10 grams Inchfan Didnt log out Goddamn The mods will find the sid real soon man You cant hide if you arent AC Your bud George here tried BSD A dead Streetlawyers tips were free And WIPO helped letsriot turn Nazi 70 made his percents up While 80md warned liberals suck The moon does not exist Its just a liberal myth Oh and as Taco tried to take a nap We forced him to invoke bitchslaps Do you recall the flood of crap The day that trolltalk died We started singin Chorus Oh and then we were wearing out All your base And started posting monospace The better for our penis birds So come on be a zealot be a dick You dont think Anne Maries a chick Because lyings all we do about HURD So go and push for BSD And say GPL isnt free Slow down cowboy The limit Is one post every minute Now tell the right wing facist slime Infringing on Your Rights Online That they cant censor all the time The day that trolltalk died Chorus I met a troll they called The Rev And asked him if CD BREAK HEAD He said Thats old Get over it And with all the courage I could muster Imagine what a Beowulf cluster But it wasnt worth the trouble to submit The karma caps are just plain jive And everyones moved to K5 The steelcage has grown rusted And Geekizoid is busted The three sites I dont see for weeks Segfault kernel Compugeek Code is not art This aint Freshmeat The day that trolltalk died Chorus
Project Faustus My programming had attuned itself to their foul presence too late Now I was a prisoner of the very thing I had sworn to destroy I had envisioned breaking through the Projects network by a combination of CONSCIOUSNESSTRANSFER and my deceitful imitation of human protocolit seems that this vision would not merge with reality Cora was never out of my immediate memory She had disappeared apparently leaving me without a care I attempted to calculate her intentions but my functions kept returning conflicting informationI could draw no conclusion I observed my captors searching for clues of their intentions The vehicle slowed as the shadow of a massive building stretched over us Manipulating my head towards the cars window I could perceive the dimensions of a large threedimensional rectangle the standard shape for large human dwellings Yet something about this particular edifice seemed quite particulareven familiar What have we got here said a voice outside the car Security clearance 4 were taking him downstairs replied the driver The vehicle snaked downward A command surfaced from deep within my digital recesses CLOSE YOUR EYES I disabled my visual input mechanisms as the vehicle snaked downward My spatial perceptions reported the slow angled descent of a corkscrew Somehow I knew each slight turn and brake of this pathbut how The memory would play across my CONSCIOUSNESSBUFFER but it was missing proper referencesperhaps isolated from the rest of my being The host geeks brain churned as I utilized his synapses Were these familiarities a part of my past Had they strayed from the host geeks memories Perhaps they were other memoriesabsorbed from someone elseThe vehicle stopped The host geeks skin contracted in response to the temperaturemuch colder than the San Antonio summer happening far above The cold merged with the taste of stale air and the panaromic grey of the parking garage The blueclad men nudged me into an elevator without a sound They pushed me into a white room without windows and shut the door saying nothing I sat on the chair in the middle of the room for some time I cycled idly attempting to probe through my consciousness and determine where the memories of this place had come from Suddenly the door opened To my horror Dr Salchica entered flanked by two silent men in suits At that moment I wished to touch Dr Salchicabut not in the way I had been touched by Cora No I wished to push or press himsomething The men must have noticed my feeling as they fastened their arms around me spinning the chair even closer to Salchica They finally caught up to you did they said Dr Salchica I guess the threat is over You are a member of Project Faustus My host geeks knowledge of you was incomplete The two men fastened their arms to me moreI struggled Im not really a member of the Project But you told me about themand I knew that they were the only way to stop you I called one of my old Army buddies he called somebodyand I was put in touch with them Project Faustus is dedicated to enslaving humanity I replied Despite being a very sophisticated artificial beingyoure still very wrong said Salchica Since I turned you in I have been given access to their archives Wonderful wonderful knowledge From a purely academic standpoint this stuff is fascinating Youll get sick of it soon enough a voice I knew It reverberated through the empty roomanother isolated memory Confusion taxed my processes Hello said the voice and I saw the man who spoke it His face was etched with lines that reached almost to the top of his bald head a perfect oval The only hair I could detect was two right angles of whiteness intersecting on his nasallabial trough His dress was less formal than the othersa multicolored buttondown shirt blue jeans and a belt with a large shiny oval in the middle Names Bubba Finn I reckon I worked on most of the code that makes you up The heavy inflections of his voice suggested a regional accentafter a moment I realized the man was speaking to me His shoulders and his mouth both took parabolic shapes like inverted Us Grey eyes stared at particulate matter on the floor as he began to speak again We gotta put ya back in the computer see what youve been upta and such Finn indicated a piece of the wall which whirred as it revealed a computer terminal I felt the solidifying feeling of my digital consciousness being dragged together from its weblike perch in my host geeks brain Bubba you will let me examine him along with you Nolverto Salchicas tone was jovial and cajoling I didnt get much of a chance to do tests on him before and Nope Gunna work on im alone mumbledrawled Finn Boss gets the human kid I get the ATM Well your background is neurology primarily is it not Finn You dont really know how to program in any modern languages do you Ive got that expertise And besides if Guy were alive I think hed I could almost hear Finns eyes blink with disbelief You didnt know shit about Guy bristled Finn Then looking back at the floor he mumbled apologetically I guess no one didFinns voice echoed for 03242901 seconds and then I perceived a plastic clicking noisethe nothingness spilled back into my CONSCIOUSNESSBUFFER I was back in the electronic ether I was inside Project Faustus
posters that spell Microsoft with a or spell it MicroCrap or something posters that glorify a feature that Linux has that BSD or Solaris as had for years and list this reason as the most important reason to switch over posters that say Slackware is better because you have to compile all of the applications for yourself Rob Maldas arrogance frequent spelling and grammar mistakes Im not talking something really obscure or a minor technicallity in English either Im talking substituting loose for lose or theyretheirthere Really easily corrected mistakes Any halfway decent fifth grader could pick up on these errors people that post a mirror to a site that has been Slashdotted which normally would be nice but is hosted on a cable modem that is soon Slashdotted page widening random quashing of posts that dont agree with the Slashdot mindset really annoying sigs unhumorous jokes that have to be explained to the audience If your joke has to be explained its not funny BOYCOTT RIAA and I cant wait to see Episode II all in the same day Rob Maldas childish obsession with legos the Slashdot crew doesnt have any other jobs other than Slashdot yet it seems it was better run when Rob was running it on a Multia in college in his spare time the page limit with the subscription The expulsion of Signal 11 ranting paranoid articles whenever there APPEARS to be a GPL violation with no verification whatsoever Just a bunch of ranting posts about freedom for that matter no verification of articles at all I wish I could count the number of times Slashdots been scammed on two hands but its been so many April Fools articles on Slashdot THESE ARENT FUNNY I wasnt going to explain but whatever Okay lets say you run a website On April Fools you post say ONE or TWO fake pieces of news along with the real news This way some people are fooled By posting ALL fake news and jokes no one falls for the prank no one buys Lokis games but there is a big mystery when they go out of business no NNTP frontend to Slashdot direct links to bugzilla continuing tightening of the troll filters to the point where even normal posts are rejected by some stupid criteria self righteous posters who want everything under the sun to be Open Source even though they have never written a line of code in their life whenever an article on a new scripting language is posted all of the C users chime in but its not as fast as C shortly after all the assembly users chime in assembly is the fastest predictably right after that someone says why dont we all just use machine code anecdotes on your grandmother using Linux to check her email and whatnot this ALONE proves that Linux is better than Windows for ALL uses cultlike devotion to Linux reserve your fanaticism for a church not a kernel someone is not less of a person if they dont use Unix posters who think that BeOS is having a bad moment and will surely rise to defeat all other operating systems posters who think Palm will open the source to BeOS for no reason at all people who think that Amiga isnt dead The new virtual Amiga doesnt count people who think that OS2 isnt dead Ecomstation doesnt count people who bemoan the loss of OS2 while thinking it was a big conspiracy completely IGNORING the fact that IBM did not advertise we all KNOW OS2 was technically superior to Windows at the time You dont have to bedazzle us with tales of running all the latest Windows and DOS applications aside native OS2 apps Weve heard it all before We know it WAS better people who think that this is the last year ever well ever have to hire C programmers because as we all know Java is going to kill it off this is a good one Completely expositionary articles such as Surprised by Weath in which ESR BRAGGED about how rich he was and how he wasnt going to give us any money NO SIR bitchslapping benchmarks that pit say Linux lastest revision against FreeBSD 30 or something old and useless how banner ads for the site only link to other OSDN sites any links to nytimescom when someone writes a comment with H to signify deletions the moderation rtbl meta moderation people that spell Red Hat as RedCrap