A player from my old MMOG guild actually got a job as a dev for that same game... and proceeded to drop off the face of the earth.
He showed up just long enough to post this gem on the guild boards (in reply to a thread about a game bug)...
"I'm coding the UI, jackass.
I don't really need to understand the exact details of what the live team has been doing lately with gameplay balance in order to work on that.
I played the goddamn game for 4 years and ruined a pretty damn good relationship because of it. Then I got a job at [MMOG Company] and worked 100 hours a week for a YEAR. I slept at the office 4 or 5 nights a week. For the year and a half after that, I only worked 70 or 80 hours a week. I carpalled out my wrists and now I can't play PC games anymore.
I'm sorry that I'm not dedicated enough to [MMOG Company]'s products for you."
Sounds like a real pleasure cruise...
It's no wonder that the relationship between MMOG customers and devs is so toxic. At least when you buy a copy of GTA:San Andreas or Madden 2005... you don't have to worry about some burnt out, mindfucked basketcase acting as your "Dungeonmaster."
...and it takes pictures too!
I guess people won't be too pissed about cameras that randomly malfunction whenever they catch some random noise from somebody's cell phone or wireless network...
Either that or getting mad about it will be illegal...
I can imagine the kiddie brain supplement commercials 10 years from now...
SLACKJAWED REDNECK WELFARE MOM(Looking over at the hydrocephalic uber-freak in Yuppie Princess/Junior Soccer Mom's stroller):
"That thing got a hemi?"
...astronomers have the first strong evidence of a supermassive black hole ripping apart a star and consuming a portion of it with some fava beans and a nice Chianti...
Emperor: "I'm very sorry, but Maximus has failed his saving throw..."
Emperor: *Makes thumbs-down gesture to crowd*
---Crowd boos
---Gurgle of dying gladiator from arena floor
Proconsul: (Muttering to self) "By Jupiter I swear that he will live to regret this day! There are many in the Senate who would welcome the elevation of a new Dungeon Master..."
Massively multiplayer Dilbert... with dragons!
on
The Trouble with MMORPGs
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· Score: 2, Insightful
They broke this genre by applying the values of the real-world economy and workplace to allegedly escapist games.
Their supposed fantasy worlds have become thoroughly mundane...
It's not about saving the world anymore... it's about eating your vegetables, paying your bills and showing up to work on time.
The games are not really fantasy or science fiction any more. They're just capitalism simulators... not even from the exciting, thought provoking global perspective of a "Railroad Tycoon"... but from the worm's eye view of a cubicle rat. This is Dilbert in real time 3-D with dragons and laser guns. Goody.
Ordinary players pay $12.99 a month to be terrorized by psychotic Little League dads (THIS IS A *GAME* SON! IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE *FUN*!!! NOW GET A HIT RIGHT &%##%@# NOW OR IT'S 2 MORE HOURS IN THE BATTING CAGE AND STRAIGHT TO BED WITHOUT DINNER!!!) moonlighting as game developers... and their equally joyless, emotionally stunted powergamer children/cronies...
The limitless potential of MMOGs is only matched by the coarseness and banality of their actual implementation...
Ask a typical MMOG player about his game of choice... EQ, DAoC, SWG, etc... and he'll probably tell you he plays it not because it's great.. but because it's the one that sucks the least...
...so we are way overdue for the next wave of hype about how thin clients will revolutionize the workplace, this time they really mean business, this is no joke and we're going to go the distance this time around!
Slashdot Mirror
Snape kills Smaug.
Duh.
If he's doping, he would be a Super-Sith*...
No Necron? No Dark Eldar?
Lame...
...too much homework...
Star Wars needed some song and dance numbers for the all-important desi demographic...
A player from my old MMOG guild actually got a job as a dev for that same game... and proceeded to drop off the face of the earth.
He showed up just long enough to post this gem on the guild boards (in reply to a thread about a game bug)...
"I'm coding the UI, jackass.
I don't really need to understand the exact details of what the live team has been doing lately with gameplay balance in order to work on that.
I played the goddamn game for 4 years and ruined a pretty damn good relationship because of it. Then I got a job at [MMOG Company] and worked 100 hours a week for a YEAR. I slept at the office 4 or 5 nights a week. For the year and a half after that, I only worked 70 or 80 hours a week. I carpalled out my wrists and now I can't play PC games anymore.
I'm sorry that I'm not dedicated enough to [MMOG Company]'s products for you."
Sounds like a real pleasure cruise...
It's no wonder that the relationship between MMOG customers and devs is so toxic.
At least when you buy a copy of GTA:San Andreas or Madden 2005... you don't have to worry about some burnt out, mindfucked basketcase acting as your "Dungeonmaster."
...that's a disease.
...it will be... blissssssssss...
...as Death.
...the obligatory Beowulf cluster of Cassini probes...
...and it takes pictures too! I guess people won't be too pissed about cameras that randomly malfunction whenever they catch some random noise from somebody's cell phone or wireless network... Either that or getting mad about it will be illegal...
...to do the Doom3 soundtrack.
...oh, wait a second... I'm sort of Indian. Do I get to be an overlord to?
Crystal meth much?
I can imagine the kiddie brain supplement commercials 10 years from now... SLACKJAWED REDNECK WELFARE MOM(Looking over at the hydrocephalic uber-freak in Yuppie Princess/Junior Soccer Mom's stroller): "That thing got a hemi?"
Ho, choline me bheja hai meraa...
...astronomers have the first strong evidence of a supermassive black hole ripping apart a star and consuming a portion of it with some fava beans and a nice Chianti...
WOLVERINES!!!!!
...management.
Proconsul: "Oh $@#$@!! Not my Level 28 Thracian!"
Emperor: "Hold on... he's not dead yet. Roll it."
Proconsul: *Rolls D20*
Proconsul: "%#@@#&!!!"
Emperor: "A 10.. "
Emperor: *Peeks behind screen*
Emperor: "I'm very sorry, but Maximus has failed his saving throw..."
Emperor: *Makes thumbs-down gesture to crowd*
---Crowd boos
---Gurgle of dying gladiator from arena floor
Proconsul: (Muttering to self) "By Jupiter I swear that he will live to regret this day! There are many in the Senate who would welcome the elevation of a new Dungeon Master..."
They broke this genre by applying the values of the real-world economy and workplace to allegedly escapist games. Their supposed fantasy worlds have become thoroughly mundane... It's not about saving the world anymore... it's about eating your vegetables, paying your bills and showing up to work on time. The games are not really fantasy or science fiction any more. They're just capitalism simulators... not even from the exciting, thought provoking global perspective of a "Railroad Tycoon"... but from the worm's eye view of a cubicle rat. This is Dilbert in real time 3-D with dragons and laser guns. Goody. Ordinary players pay $12.99 a month to be terrorized by psychotic Little League dads (THIS IS A *GAME* SON! IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE *FUN*!!! NOW GET A HIT RIGHT &%##%@# NOW OR IT'S 2 MORE HOURS IN THE BATTING CAGE AND STRAIGHT TO BED WITHOUT DINNER!!!) moonlighting as game developers... and their equally joyless, emotionally stunted powergamer children/cronies... The limitless potential of MMOGs is only matched by the coarseness and banality of their actual implementation... Ask a typical MMOG player about his game of choice... EQ, DAoC, SWG, etc... and he'll probably tell you he plays it not because it's great.. but because it's the one that sucks the least...
So I guess they'll be holding this class right after the Two Minutes Hate...
...so we are way overdue for the next wave of hype about how thin clients will revolutionize the workplace, this time they really mean business, this is no joke and we're going to go the distance this time around!