Slashdot Mirror
Celebrity Casting For LOTR
Heaven help me, it got my head spinning. As a former denizen of that era, my own offerings would have to be:
Momma Cass as Shelob.
Teddy Kennedy as Faramir (before he ate enough to qualify as Shelob.)
Mick Jagger as Legolas (with a twist)
Frank Zappa as Gimli
William Shatner as Boromir
J. Edgar Hoover as Bilbo
As Merry and Pippin?..... The SmothersBrothers or Sonny&Cher
Jerry Garcia as the King of the Dead
Tiny Tim as Galadriel
Timothy Leary as Tom Bombadil (Though George Carlin could pull it off)
Wormtongue played by Attorney Gen. John Mitchell
Eric Idle as Eowyn the warrior-maid of Rohan (though Michael Palin is tempting)
James Brown as King of the Ents (singing "Ow! It's a man's world..." and "I knew that I wood.")
Meat Loaf as the Balrog (played with Marlowean angst, and once Moria with feeling.)
The undead Ring Wraiths must be led by Kieth Richards,... ...plus (at full Valkyrie volume) Martha Mitchell, Joni Mitchell, Nancy Reagan, Nancy Sinatra, Joan Baez, Joan Rivers, Donna Summers, Don Ameche and that Dy-no-mite guy.
Orcs: Mister T and... oh, let him play em all. And I pity the fool who resists.
Lorne Greene as Denethor the Steward of Gondor... (Richard Nixon turned down the part)
Werner Von Braun as Saruman (Sorry Jim M., but instead you can play Aragorn, son of Araplane)
My favorite:
L.Ron Hubbard as (who else?) the mysterious and secretive cult leader Elrond! (Which imitates? Life or fiction?)
... and Jerry Mathers as The Beaver...
Of course Leonard Nimoy would both direct and sing background, with a suitably elf-spockish cameo.
Gotta find a role for Goldie Hawn.
And Raquel, please, in that cave outfit, pretty please. Luan-n-n-na.
Ah, what days those were....
David Brin
(Scientist/author David Brin's novels, including Earth and The Postman (filmed in 1998), are translated in 20 languages. His non fiction book -- The Transparent Society - won the Freedom of Speech Award of the American Library Association. THE LIFE EATERS - a recent graphic novel - explores a chilling alternative outcome of World War II. His more serious ruminations about JRR Tolkien can be found at his site
Goatse as the Caverns of Moria?
Did Hemos accidentally post his drunken, 2-am emails on slashdot ??
Ghyslain Raza as Frodo Baggins?
What? I set my expectations too low?
It would be cool if it didn't suck.
here they are: you are a nerd.
FP BAY-BEE
Slashdot has run out of stories.
..... ...being cast for the LOTR!!
Submit something interesting you lazy sods!!
Me? I'm... I'm
May the Maths Be with you!
Probably about the dumbest and least funny things I've read in my entire life.
-Reid
Slashdot just jumped the shark.
A lot of the younger ones won't get a lot of this.
The music is all around us. I can hear it. Can you?
My idea is that Slashdot editors should have to submit their own stories anonymously, and let them be reviewed and approved/denied by the other editors.
-Todd
"The details of my life are quite inconsequential..."
Come on guys, what the hell is this about?
...
So which one of you is going to mount your own LOTR 'private' production that's truly closer to the original sacred text than the big budget sellout picture?
Radagast.....
And Yoko Ono as Arwen
Have you Meta Moderated t
wtf?
15 comments and they all are synonymous with "WTF?"
B) Given the unfamiliarity of most posters here with 1980's cultural references (in fact, frequently with 1990's coultural references), I hardly think references to John Mitchell are going to go over well.
C) Naturally, no insufferable boomer nostalgia about the Most Important Time Ever would be complete without rampant errors, here in the relatively benign form of misspelling half the names...
What I'm listening to now on Pandora...
I thought I'd try to be the one.
If moderation could change anything, it would be illegal.
Ahrnold as the leader of the Uruk Hai, Jerry Seinfeld as Merry, Jason Alexander as Pippin, Charlie Sheen as Frodo, Ice T as Samwise.
that Dy-no-mite guy = Jimmy "J.J." Walker Also famous for his role in Guyver as one of the bad guys in a bad movie (:
Stallman as Saruman: "One Freedom to rule them all."
This is sufficiently lame that I'm actually posting for once.
There's slow news days where we end up with pretty random stuff over real news, which is ok. But what happened here? "Hmm.. not enough submissions to reject.. I know. I'll paste a lame random email to the front page. woo!"
I vote for a trade in program: Accumulate sufficient mod points, and form a moderation lynch mob. Combine your points and moderate the whole story into oblivion?
yeesh.
Anything Brin writes is automatically posted now? I'm from the same age, I get the casting choices, and I don't think it's funny. It's not that it's insulting or too crazy or anything, just not funny.
My Other Computer Is A Data General Nova III.
In case you havent seen all the LOTR movies (i saw the first) Most of the actors have on so much makeup, all of the "famous" people in the main comment would have to have wooden signs hanging around there neck to be able to tell who they were. except of course for Mick Jagger (you can spot him, rather his mouth a mile away) and froto, or whoever the main hobbet dude is, because he doesnt wear makeup.
This is probably the worst excuse for a Slashdot article I have ever seen...
Anna Nicole Smith as Rosey, love of Samwise
...but they already made some LOTR movies. I think that horror movie guy directed them. I know they're a bit obscure, but they were pretty well received by the critics.
vi ~/.emacs
THis isn't a new idea. My friends and I were casting an imaginary LOTR production back in the early seventies. I don't remember much of the lineup now, but I do recall that we (semi-seriously) discussed the idea of casting Bogart as Aragorn, Ingrid Bergman as Arwen, Peter Lorre as Gollum, and my favorite, Edward G. Robinson as Elrond ("Now look here, Gandalf, we gotta do something about this ring, see? Nyeah, Nyeah..."). Of course in those days we smoked a lot of things we shouldn't have...
How about Yoko Ono as Sauron? She could pull off being evil well enough... and she could do a chilling Voice of Sauron. Actually, that terrible shrieking would be just about perfect for that noise the Nazgul make, too.
This sig has been stolen. Return it to its original user for a reward.
Fellowship of the Ring
/.
Last I checked, most of the existing cast qualified as 'Celebrity' status...
First time I've seen retarded spam emails propegated through
From current events:
Condi Rice - Wormtongue (obvious choice)
Bush - Sauroman (trees being chopped down and burned in background to make weapons for preemptive war of global domination)
Cheny - Sauron (the evil power behind it all)
Wolfowitz - Gollum (My precious, I must have my precious Iraq)
Unfortunately, no one is available to cast for any of the heroes
i just remembered where it was:
http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/movie.htm
May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage. RAmen.
She'd be a natural for Goldberry...
Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more
Nobody's going to get it. Though I have to admit that your comment is a lot funnier than the original post. I think Hemos just thinks he is special cause he gets mail from Brin.
This is crap. It's the sort of thing you expect to find on some tedious forum on some backwater newsgroup.
It's not funny, and it's not in the least interesting.
Zappa, Jerry Garcia, Timothy Leary, Nancy Sinatra and Joan Baez are certainly 60's references. Donna Summer is 70's.
J. Edgar Hoover, on the other hand, qualifys as a 20th century reference: he was there in the same spot from the end of First World War to the end of Hippie movement.
I noticed something one day: lack of sex in Sci-Fi. This makes no sense since (1) most sci-fi viewers are guys and (2) they are generally sexually starved geeks.
Don't forget Darl McBride as the Mouth of Sauron!
I think you might have these two the wrong way round. RMS strikes me as more the 'I wanna be King!' type, while Linus is a wizard - immensely powerful, but more as an enabler of others than in his own right.
Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.
i dunno...seems pretty on-topic to me. Come on, editors. What sort of freaking story is this? "Jumped the shark" is damn right.
Not the article, the "from the amusing-ideas dept."
I love sarcasm.
Boffoonery - downloadable Comedy Benefit for Bletchley Park
Hell, at least most of those articles count as news. Vaguely. This is a bunch of references to long-since out-of-date pop culture that might have been vaguely amusing 20 years ago. But then again, probably not.
They want their foot back.
Bill Gates as Grima/Wormtongue
-- Halfabee
What else?
This would be lame on April 1st, let alone today. Anyone who thinks that is clever or funny should be seriously embarassed. Or very high.
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
Crack of Doom
OMg yes!
Richard Stallman as Gandalf. Linus as Frodo. Orrin Hatch as the Witch-King of Angmar and Darl McBride as Sauron. Obviously.
When I am king, you will be first against the wall.
+5 informative. Gotta love sarcastic moderators. Even the moderation on these comments is more entertaining than the story!
I think there are 3 problems with this thread. For 1 - it's been done. 2 - The movie is made, was damn near perfect, and is already on DVD. 3 - No one has EVER mentioned the obvious fact that the Wu-Tang clan should've been cast heavily throughout the movie. The Old Dirty Bastard would've done an excellent job as Gandalf.
For years, I've been saying Robin Williams IS Tom Bombadil. Maybe it would work better with his early-80's coked-up persona, but can't you see it?
/. is dying.
My favorite:
L.Ron Hubbard as (who else?) the mysterious and secretive cult leader Elrond! (Which imitates? Life or fiction?)
Say anything even remotely negative about scientology and you will be paying legal fees for the rest of your life.
Technoli
Don't ever read anything by David Brin. If this is his idea of something worth writing I would hate to see one of his novels.
Mr. T woould work as the Uruk-hai, though.
...except that Faramir wasn't a rich socialist.
I'd have to go with Zappa (the all-seeing) for Sauron - his solos remind me of an evil shadow covering the land, wickedness embodied by his "chicken and spider" technique.
========
77 77 77 2e 6d 65 6c 76 69 6e 73 2e 63 6f 6d
Patrick Stewart as Gandalf
Jonathan Frakes as Aragorn
Brent Spiner as Saruman
LeVar Burton as Boromir (Gondor IS Ethiopia, after all)
Wil Wheaton as Frodo
Colm Meaney as Sam
Cirroc Lofton as Merry
Aron Eisenberg as Pippen
Michael Dorn as Gimli
Connor Trinneer as Legolas
Terry Farrell as Arwen
Gates McFadden as Eowyn
Jeri Ryan as Galadriel
Ethan Phillips as Grima
Avery Brooks as Sauron (voice)
dinner: it's what's for beer
I noticed something one day: lack of sex in Sci-Fi. This makes no sense since (1) most sci-fi viewers are guys and (2) they are generally sexually starved geeks.
While I concur with your reasoning, there might be a third possibility. Many authors work to create characters set apart from the rest of humanity - often superior in many ways. Maybe sex is impossible for many sci-fi protagonists?
Given one hour to live, the student replied: "I'd spend it with professor FP who can make an hour seem like a lifetime."
This is what SlashDot has been reduced to? Can we implement a bayesian article filter please?
How many people can read hex if only you and dead people can read hex?
WTF? Whois Eric Idle? George Carlin, ok. The others?
/.)
I would like to point out that this is not only before my generation, but a quick check says my PARENTS don't remember most of this. (no jokes bout me, i'm sure this "generational gap" applies to one or two others here in
This rates front page how?
I would rather have Sean Bean as Aragorn and what's his name as Boromir.
Stuff that matters.
-----
PGP Key ID 0xCB8FF658
You know that if the submission had been a comment, it would have gotten +5 Funny here. It's no worse than most of the "humor" you all mod up.
Don't forget Darl McBride as the Mouth of Sauron!
Oh, he'd be an orafice, alright. I just don't think it would be the mouth.
I nominate Steve Buscemi for gollum. The only trouble is, there would be no need whatsoever for special effects or makeup. He pretty much fits the bill already.
lorem ipsum, dolor sit amet
It proves that even David Brin can have some incredibly stupid ideas. Of course, he may have already proven that when he sold Kevin Costner the rights to "The Postman".
It's good to use your head, but not as a battering ram.
mr. brin is one of my favorite authors, so i won't bag on him for how he spends his obviously copious amount of spare time.
David Brin recently sent me an amusing idea for celebrity casting for LOTR.
As opposed to those non-celebrities who were actually cast in the LOTR movies... Ian McKellan, Elijah Woods, Liv Tyler, Cate Blanchett, Orlando Bloom....
David shows up to talk about this and various other subjects on Brin-L: http://www.mccmedia.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l
that /. picked and actually posted this story.
what a waste of disk space.
-- I am. Therefore, I think!
Hemos' account is hacked...
/. appear in his name....
Several posts to alt.sex.beastilality.hamster and
I mean...I just loved the Uplift saga
"Marée stellaire" et "Elevation 1&2" in french....
And I really want to see some men, chimps, dolphins Kanten, Synthian and Tymbrimi and Wazoon
(those scouts were cute, too bad they had to die) kick some Gubrus, Jophur, Soro, Tandu & Thenanins 's asses (or whatever they use to sit upon)
on a big black screen
Damnit David, just put some sense in the heads of those hollywood directors and make them adapt your novels !
Please make more money by entertaining us !
Well... I might as well add to the suckfest:
Gandalf: James Gandolfini
Aragorn: Governor Schwarzenegger
Saruman: Micahel J. Nelson
Boromir: JFK Jr's corpse
Frodo: "Dib" from Invader Zim
Sam: Introducing Puddles, the wonder Chow-Chow
Merry: Mary Kate Olsen
Pippen: Ashley Olsen
Gimli: Star Jones
Legolas: Clint Howard
Arwen: CGI character with enhanced breast physics
Galadriel: David Bowie
Sauron: character edited out and replaced by street smart, but wise beyond his years, young, hip black character.
--- Ban humanity.
Whoa, before you apply the feathers after that tar ;-) , let me tell you that I never implied that Yoko was good.
My point, which I should have explained better, was that I _really_ did not like Arwen's character in the movie. Ms. Plastic Ono would have been as effective as Liv Tyler in my mind. I understant that Arwen was part of the story since she is the ultimate motivation for Aragorn's quest. But why Liv? Why such a subservient, meek, and whiny character?
No doubt, somebody convinced John that the Beatles were over, and I don't think it was Paul, George or Ringo. _Somebody_ told John that he was the brains and talent and the other three would flop without him.
Although you cannot say that the songs on the Double Fantasy Album were the worst, What if.....What if?
Have you Meta Moderated t
If David Brin wrote The Postman, I hope the book was infinately better than the movie. The Postman one of those long useless Kiven Costner flicks. It felt like a terrible sequel to Waterworld.
The Postman: Dustworld.
Absolutely the worst article to ever appear on Slashdot. This piece is transcendingly, gravity-bendingly horrible. Highlander 2 bad.
I suggest the government form a multi-billion dollar bi-partisan panel on how this article could have been prevented.
This article is so bad that Auntie Entity could run Barter Town off of it.
If this article were an 80's band, it would have been a collaboration band between Poison, Warrant and Bon Jovi.
This article is Ewoks, Jar-Jar, Kes, and Haley Joel Osment getting stabbed at the end all rolled together.
Okay, that's about all I've got.
If your bitterest enemies are people who hack the heads off civilians, then I would say you're doing something right.
(a) late-nite editorial misadventure which seemed like a good idea at the time and
(b) a groundswell of outraged reader sentiment, even if some of it is pure overreaction
this thread is indefinitely closed for repairs.
Moderators please report to the front office before the reptiloid workers can inter this thread in the time capsule. Your services are needed by other info-lunkers.
Either you're becoming especially keen-sighted or this scene has all the clarity of a Mondrian. Abstract splotches of green and violet burst with healthy orange meadow poppies that waft an eye-opening fragrance which keeps you wide awake.
The transplanted poppy, still resplendent, is drooping a little about the blossoms.
It is now day.
See that long UID - that's what you get for lurking too long
..a slow news day?
..april the 1st?
..me or has the quality of slashdot articles really been going downhill recently?
or is slashdot now a blog where funny emails get published on the front page?
feel free to add your own ideas to the comments.
My own idea is that whoever posted this piece of shit ought to be put out of their misery before they ruin their life by spending their entire fortune on penile enhancement drugs.
I bet the subscribers are well glad they got this stroy early!
I have discovered a truly remarkable sig which this post is too small to contain.
And...
Agent Smith as Elrond.
Oh... wait...
everyone who has EVER had a rejected story -- set your faces to stunned.
worst....article....ever....
WTPOUAWYHTTOTWPA
What's the point of using acronyms when you have to type out the whole phrase anyways?
...is a bloated blowhard.
Worst. Site. Ever.
+1 Insightful, -1 Troll. What can I say, I'm an Insightful Troll.
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Seriously. Spam, malware, idiots... they are all wasting enourmous amounts of bandwidth, and they are causing broadbands rates to go through the roof! STOP IT.
Politics, Life, and More on my Aspiring for the Future
Thunderbird's spam filtering is not up to snuff.
I'll point out just a couple of figures for ya'll when considering the cinematic qualifications of people associated with "The Postman":
"The Postman" opened in over 2,000 theaters and got a per screen revenue of $2400. "People I Know", a film executive produced by Robert Redford, opened in 5 theaters and got a per screen revenue of $6800. "People I Know" was never distributed in more than 10 theaters.
What I think we can safely say is that Brin's message was given a lot better chance by the distribution channels and that the market just didn't care.
Seastead this.
Both want to control all, no matter the costs.
After reading a funny /. article I decided to place the editors of /. in the Movie roles for Dumb and Dumber.
.....
CmdrTaco is
I don't want to pick on the whole email, but I don't really get the humour.
Take Mick Jagger as Legolas. Why is this a funny/good casting choice? Did something happen with Legolas' lips in the book? Does Legolas play a guitar? Should he have played a guitar? Is there a Rolling Stone pun in there in terms of something happening to Legolas? Does his description in the novel come even close to looking like Mick Jagger?
Why not any other lead singer on Earth instead of Mick Jagger? What made Mick Jagger funny?
Bill as Bilbo :-)
Wait, you mean I'm not looking at the k5 voting queue?
Those who complain about affect & effect on
Just be thankful Neil Gaiman didn't send Hemos his grocery list again. Or Lawrence Lessig could have sent Timothy an account of recent root canal surgery, and we'd be wading through that blow-by-blow.
"Stop The Presses!! Hold The Front Page!! Cringely has blogged an opinion as to whether bell-bottoms should come back in fashion!!"
One Slashdot Account, low six digits, excellent karma.
Respond below with offers.
After this article, it's clear I won't be needing it any longer.
Is this stuff that matters?
This kind of thing makes me wonder why the hell I read Slashdot. Seems the most consistently entertaining thing is the combination of Trolls and cliches. And Fark's got better cliches by far...
---
"I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing and it was everything that I thought it could be."
I would love to see Christopher Walkin as about every character.
Darl McBride.
... nasty hackerses stole my precioussss ..."
"My precioussss
Bette Midler *has* to be Shelob(didn't you see Drowning Mona?). Rod Serling gets my vote for Saruman. Carl Sagan for Gandalf. Mickey Dolenz for Frodo, Peter Tork for Samwise. Marty Feldman For Gollum. Enya for Arwen. Marcia Clark for Eowyn, and OJ Simpson for Lord of the Nazgul. Peter Gabriel for Aragorn. Danny Devito for Gimli. Jane Curtin for Galadriel. David Letterman for Elrond. John Tesh for Legolas. Ralph Nader for Denethor. Gene Wilder and Mel Brooks as Merry and Pippin. Mark Furman and the LAPD as the Orcs. And least but not last George Bush for Eomer King of Rohan, and Michael Moore as Wormtongue. Oh, Yeah, and Al Gore as Boromir.....and Gloria Alred as the Balrog.
"Sic Semper Path of Least Resistance"
So if I post about the dream I had last night will it get accepted too? Damn, this must really be one slow assed news day. By next week we'll have RMS or Linus describing thier nose hairs in fine detail.
-Cnik
This is the gayest fucking thing I have seen in a long time. What the fuck is this shit? Malda, you need to be strung up by your underdeveloped testicles and lashed to within an inch of your pitiful life. Fuck this site.
What about Leonard Nimoyas Bilbo?
...is an Xmen sequel with Tim Curry as Mr. Sinister.
Introducing the new Occam Fusion! Now with sqrt(-1) fewer blades!
What about Leonard Nimoy as Bilbo?
LOTR, all three books in one sitting, true to the book with background commentary, side plots, and all.
And did I mention this performance is a one-man off-Broadway show, starring Jar Jar Binks?
f u cn rd ths u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr prgmng
The original LOTR/slashdot comment
Denn wir sind wie Baumstaemme im Schnee. Scheinbar liegen sei glatt auf, mit kleinem anstoss sollte man sie wegschieben
Aw. Come on children. Why spoil a perfectly good story by making it map to the real world? It's supposed to be mythological right? Like Zeus raping and raping and (oh I get it: you really want the SCO guy to get a major part...).
Spitting image of Bilbo when naked... at least I think that counts as naked. He is one hairy man.
Insert Signature Here
Where is the button to upload powerpoint attachements? I got this really cool email, where there is this flower, and transition effects which I would want to share!
Rated Insightful? What on earth is insightful with this? I could see it rated Funny, but then again I might have a strange sense of humor :P
(Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know this is going to be modded off-topic, overrated, hapless, picky etc.)
no text
Although your user id is an order of magnitude greater than mine, it is still quite old - I would have an enormous difficult to choose the "worst" story Slashdot ever posted, but there were quite a few worst than this one. This is just a harmless joke, Slashdot has on occasion posted "news" later proved wrong or false that caused real harm to real people for a time (the many false GPL breaches accusations come to mind).
God damn all you f*cking boomers and your f*cking boomer pop culture. DIE! DIE! DIE!
ooo man .. Talk about funny
Linus: Frodo
......
Stallman: Gimli
Eben Moglen: Elrond
Eric Raymond: Boromir
The Dark Forces
Bill Gates: Sauron
Darl McBride: Witch King of Angmar, head of the Nazgul
Donte Alistair Anderson Roberts - hi son!
Karma: Chameleon
It works on a slightly different level from most jokes, but it is brilliant on that level. Bummer about the downmod.;)
Is this a sigs-optional kind of place? 'Cause I am totally down with that if you know what I mean.
Jon Katz
I'm proud of my Northern Tibetian Heritage
worst posting ever.
To this end, I would suggest RMS as Boromir.
Argh, I can't believe I just posted to a thread this lame...
If it's in you sig, it's in your post.
I don't even think MSN would publish crap like this. This is neither news nor had any trace of content that mattered.
can't sleep. clowns will eat me.
Jay as Legolas
Silent Bob as Gimli
etc...
Worst. Article. Ever.
..theres going to be a Lord of the Rings movie?!?
Honestly, if this is the only thing they have worth posting, we need to send them some links. If everyone sends them five, that'll be enough to keep them busy until St. Swithen's day. I get shit more entertaining than this in my inbox from viagra spammers.
Hell is being intelligent in a world full of idiots.
The first time I saw Elijah Wood in a movie, my first thought was "Wow. He's a hobbit." When I heard LotR was being made, my first thought was "Man, I hope they cast Elijah Wood as Frodo."
Likewise, Cate Blanchett as Galadriel is inspired casting. I have always thought of her as being an elf.
And John Rhys-Davies makes an excellent Dwarf. I never thought about it beforehand, but it is perfect.
Yeah, there are better (and funnier) possibilities for everyone, but nobody but Elijah Wood could play Frodo. (And I never even liked him as an actor. I just knew that he was born to play Frodo.)
Another non-functioning site was "uncertainty.microsoft.com."
The purpose of that site was not known.
As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mr. Aragorn. It seems that you've been living two lives. In one life, you're Aragorn, son of Arathorn, descended from Isildur and heir to the throne of Gondor. You have a deep family history that reaches into past ages, you give hope to men and keep none for yourself, and you want to marry my daughter.
The other life is lived in the shadows, where you go by the ranger alias "Strider" and are guilty of virtually every violation of kingship we have a law for. One of these lives has a future with my daughter, and one of them does not.
I'm going to be as forthcoming as I can be, Mr. Aragorn. You're here because we need your help. We know that you've been contacted by a certain individual, a hobbit who calls himself Frodo Baggins. Now whatever you think you know about this hobbit is irrelevant. He is considered by many authorities to be carrying out the most dangerous burden of all: the One Ring of Power.
My colleagues believe that I am wasting my time with you, but I believe that you wish to do the right thing. We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start, and all that we're asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a hobbit to Mount Doom and accepting the crown of Gondor.
(I posted this to alt.movies.the-matrix back on December 24.)
You insensitive clod!
SharkJumper
You can actually see them here: http://home.hccnet.nl/NETURNIA.WALLPAPERS/lotr/
"I will not relinguish my throne! The Supreme Court ruled in my favor!"
Jodie Foster as Eowen: "Try to touch my tits, Witch King, and I'll cut your head off!"
Winona Ryder as Arwen: "Father, you saw a child! From all those rock stars I slept with!"
Timothy Leary as Gandalf: "Fireworks? You want fireworks, toke some of this!"
Graham Norton as Gollum: ('Nuff said)
Richard Steven Hack - This sig is TOO GODDAMN SHORT TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL WITH! MORONS!
How do I moderate an original post as Off-Topic?
I know the subtitle is "news for nerds" but this is stretching it.
What's next? The 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon getting posted every time it can be linked to LOTR or some other nerdfest?
-- This sig for rent.
..did Mordor take all of Gondor's doors? What is up with that?
How about Yoko as Boromir, so she can break up the fellowship?
My other first post is car post.
I want Christopher Walken to play everybody.
That's right - everybody! The Council of Elrond would be hilarious.
I think of Bush as Sauron and Kerry as Saruman.
There are lots of similarities:
*You have an evil and a lesser-evil.
*You have two distinct groups, yet both unite to launch an evil war.
*Both are obsessed with power. Although Sauron is more powerful and Saruman helps him in his aims, Saruman secretly hopes to one day replace him as the dark lord. The 2004 election is like a future middle earth where the forces of evil had already successfully launched their wars, the damage is done, and Saruman is challenging Sauron's rule.
You must be new here. Going against the company line gets modded up all the time.
Years ago, a friend and I spent an entire evening thinking about who would be good in a remake of Gilligan's Island. Wish I had notes from that. The only ones I remember are Pauly Shore for Gilligan and John Goodman for the Skipper.
This is rediculous!
Mr. T should is totally Urukai. Richard Simmons is a much better to play the orcs.
"Having a low id just means you were unemployed and bored before the dotcom crash"
/. probably means the holder had quite a good knowledge of the Web before the dotcom BOOM (that was before search engines worth the name even existed). Employment situation will vary - I was quite well employed, thank you, and sat for more hours than I cared for behind a couple of T1s. But I think most low-iders had access from college at that time. And it is you who is giving it a "733t" meaning, I was just using it to frame time...
Not quite - a 4 digit id in
Freeing people from life under an oppressive dictatorship is evil? That's like saying that Lincoln freeing the American slaves was evil because the freed slaves would have to go and find jobs.
My other first post is car post.
All the slashdot editors as pricks, cunts and assholes.
Brilliant!
:o) (^_^)
I've been looking about for some LOTR/MATRIX 'material' such as this.
THIS IS CROSSOVER/PARODY DONE *RIGHT!*
Maybe out there, someone is insane/crazy enough to mix the two film trilogies together into a fanfic possibly titled:
The Lord Of The Matrix
I'll bet they got rid of any evidence of Mr. Weaving doing 'Agent Smith' while in character as Elrond on the LOTR shoot.
I keep expecting some paparazzi pic to show up online somewhere with Weaving done up as Elrond between takes wearing his Matrix sunglasses to filter out the harsh New Zeland sunlight.... XD
These are supposed to be funny I'm guessing? Or at least witty? How sad...
I believe that the original cast of the LOTR movies were already or now are celebrity people. Can't think of anyone trying to do a better job than they did....
Well maby Sarah Michelle G. (SNL) to take of the ring from somewhere...
Message from god, Please logoff, rebooting the Universe
You're missing the point. Democrats WANT to keep minorities in an inferior social position by giving them handouts for making more babies instead of encouraging them to pursue an education and contribute to something other than the birth rate.
[nt]
...as Death.
Mod Parent Up.
I submitted to /. that Samizdat was leaked. That's more news than this!
Unless you were commenting about the delay in the horrible but wholly deserved deaths.
O make me a mask
Post on slashdot! Be a bigger dick than ever before! Instant karma loan approval!!!
Yow! I'm supposed to have a plan?
After LOTR, we're going to shoot a James Bond flick starring Danny DeVito as
007, and then a musical costarring Leonard Nimoy, Clint Eastwood, and Britney
Spears. (The plot of this musical will have to involve romance, obviously.)
Also, it's imperative that the Wizard of Oz be remade with current actors.
I'm thinking John Goodman as the scarecrow, Tommy Lee Jones as the Cowardly
Lion, Chris Kattan as the Tin Man, Jim Carey as Dorothy, Adam Sandler as the
dog, Pee Wee Herman as the Wicked Witch, and Whoopee Goldberg as the Great Oz.
But to bring this back to topic: for LOTR, they definitely should have
cast William Shattner as Tom Bombadil. It's simply impossible to think of
Tom skipping rapidly down the forest path in a sky-blue jacket and yellow
boots singing exuberantly about being a merry fellow without picturing
William Shattner. It's just a question of who would be Goldberry.
Cut that out, or I will ship you to Norilsk in a box.
Oh I get it...
Auntie Entity ran Barter Town off the methane from pig shit, in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.
Ewoks and Jar-Jar are to StarWars nearly what Kes was to Star Trek Voyager. Well not quite, but Jeri Ryan's (7of9) replacement of Jennifer Lien (Kes) was as welcomed as Jar-Jar's limited reappearance in SW2.
Haley Joel Osment got stabbed to death at the end of Pay it Forward, leaving an audience, that had just been uplifted in the story of hope for mankind, dashed to the ground. Even Jesus got to be early 30's before being nailed onto a stake. Everybody had to cry when they really wanted to feel good and go home : (
Thanks Chris, your witty reply almost made up for the ridiculous bullshit story for which it had to be written.
W. does not have the eloquence to be Denethor. W. is a lost puppy; Denethor is prejudiced and condescending.
W. could be Theoden = "Why should we ride to the aid of those who did not ride to ours? I.e., those French snail-suckers?"
Now, Cheney - he could pull of Denethor, if he were p'ed off. "Go f*** yourself, Saruman!"
But the best pairing -
Bob and Doug MacKenzie as Merry and Pippin
- compare their departure scene in ROTK to the Bob/Doug parting in Strange Brew. Exactly the same scene - except for the hockey stormtrooper uniforms. Oh - the best casting - anyone but that groupie ho Liz as Arwen. She is an ineffectual waste of space. Uma? Gabrielle Reese? Elle the Body? Fire the Body a warning shot before going with Liz the Useless Wet Dishrag, fer crissake!
typical. racist ideas are so casually thrown about in modern america that it's hard to even characterize them as malicious. They just emanate from white america's honestly held (but in my mind spurious) belief in the inferiority of blacks and perhaps other races.
I know the guy didn't mean to offend by the comment. That's what makes it so sad.
from http://flyingmoose.org/tolksarc/theories/cartoon.h tm
Gandalf Mr. Peabody
Aragorn Daffy Duck (though Popeye was strongly considered)
Arwen either Olive Oyl, Jessica Rabbit, or Minnie Mouse
Boromir Brutus (a.k.a. "Bluto" in the old Dave Fleischer cartoons)
Gimli Yosemite Sam
Legolas Speed Racer
Bilbo Mr. Magoo
Frodo Bart Simpson (though Mickey Mouse was also a likely candidate)
Sam Hadji from "Jonny Quest"
Merry and Pippin Heckle and Jeckle
Tom Bombadil either Ren, or Stimpy
Goldberry Nell Fenwick from "Dudley Do-Right"
Butterbur Homer Simpson
Elrond Doctor Quest
Glorfindel Race Bannon
Celeborn and Galadriel Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale
Saruman Evil-lyn (a slight departure from traditional casting, but I think it works)
The Balrog The Tazmanian Devil
Shagrat and Gorbag Beavis and Butthead
Chief Ringwraith (a.k.a.
the Witch-king of Angmar) Snidely Whiplash
The Other Ringwraiths The Smurfs
Eowyn and Eomer Babs and Buster Bunny (though Nell Fenwick was also suggested for Eowyn)
Theoden Bugs Bunny
Dead Men of Dunharrow Casper the Friendly Ghost and friends
Grima Wormtongue Porky Pig
Denethor either Inspector Fenwick, or Commander McBragg
Faramir Dudley Do-Right
Shadowfax Dudley Do-Right's Horse
Shelob The Tick (casting against type though it be)
Gollum Wile E. Coyote
LOTR - legend of the rangers, B5 movie.
http://imdb.com/title/tt0280453/
I thought most of the actors in LOTR were celebrities.
Ideology is for ideots.
Mr Spock singing about hobbits is something that continues to haunt my nightmares, probably for the rest of my life.
Spock. Hobbits. Singing. Mix either two and you'll get - well, let's be honest - at the worst a mild headache, but together they unite into an unholy triumvirate that possess the ability to warp space in really, really horrible ways.
To whit; The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins.. Look upon their works, ye mighty, and despair!
:-) Thanks. Apparently no one with any mod points saw that. But it's okay. The group I posted it to loved it, even though I was only an improvement over a previous attempt at a similar parody. (That is, someone else had the idea and it worked well enough, but I modified it to make sure all the details and the speech style matched up...)
:-)
Anyway, thanks for the kind words. I hope more people get to read and enjoy this.
They do - the crime rate.
Lorne Greene as Denethor the Steward of Gondor... (Richard Nixon turned down the part)
I was hoping to get the part of Gollem, but that bastard Andy Serkis stole it from me just like JFK stole the 1960 election!
Some of you might be too young to remember me when I was President of the United States, but I've also been in several episodes of Futurama. I'm heard a lot of you computer nerds were fond of that show. It is too bad those bastards at Fox canceled the show. They were going to make me one of the main characters instead of just a guest star.
Anyway, can't you just imagine me as the voice of Gollum.... "Oh yes we could. Spoilin' nice fish. Give it to us raw and wrigglin'. You keep nasty chips."
Nobody died when Nixon lied.
I'm meeting you half way you stupid hippies!
His Name is "Wernher Von Braun"
Lord "not Gargamel's Cat!" Azrael