Its rather simple... someone just needs to convince Congress that the government needs to create the post of "Internet Plumber", whose sole purpose is to make sure the internet tubes are either kept spotlessly clean, or thouroughly plugged to prevent botnet attacks.
The person who is elected to the position of Internet Plumber will be required to wear the honorable red uniform of Mario. The Internet Plumber will also be required to give weekly updates about the internet tubes. C-SPAN will be required to air these update reports, even if the Internet Plumber is engaged in a job resulting in the plumber's crack being exposed.
As for the law... people who are found guilty of creating and/or using botnets for any reason shall be forced to use AOL or Compuserve dialup for the remainder of their natural lives. All email they send and forum posts they post shall only consist of the words "Me to." They will only be permitted to use computers running Windows ME, and the desktop must feature a background image of the goatse man or tubgirl.
This should be a good start in the war against botnets.
1. What could possibly go wrong?
2. I for one welcome our new power-suited overlords!
3. Does it transform into a semitruck?
4. Put Rico's Roughnecks on standbye.
5. Now we need to find a whining Japanese teenage boy who will be required to share living quarters with lots of hot girl and who be the only one who can pilot the mech to save the world.
6. All hail our giant cyborg President! May death come quickly to his enemies!
Here is an honest story about a friend of mine's experience with the TSA:
A friend of mine was once (and only once) bullied by the TSA. The incident occured in July 2004 at the Las Vegas airport.
But first, I need to describe my friend... He is a former Marine DI, approximately 6 feet tall, and in damn good shape. He also isn't one to bullshit a story like this. Oh, is also insane. Seriously, he draws disability pay from government because of his confirmed diagnosis of insanity. He is a guy you *DON'T* want to mess with...
Anyways, a TSA agent had the bright idea to follow him (apparently, moustache and a cowboy hat == terrorist suspect). Said agent, then decided to approach my friend from behind and grab him so that he could question him. Not a smart move... Within one second after grabbing his shoulder from behind, my friend turned around, and by reflex snapped the TSA agent's arm. He literally shattered the TSA agent's arm without even giving it a thought.
All TSA agents in the immediate area swarmed him with their pistols drawn. Apparently, this saved the TSA agent's life, as my friend was about to land the killing blow on the guy. They took him into custody, and proceeded to question him. They later told him that the injured agent has filed assault and battery charges.
And then a funny thing happened... my friend immediately told the TSA agents holding him that he wishes to file charges against the TSA agent who started the entire incident. From what I remember, he told them that the agent was guilty of "Assault and battery under the guise of authority, at the very least." This lead to the agent being charged and later convicted of assault and my friend being placed on the next flight home.
Take the story for what it's worth. (I'm not going to respond to claims concerning the authenticity or validity)
Crap! I always get this one confused... I think you have to cut either the "burnt siam" colored wire or the "amber" colored wire. Or was it either the "butterscotch" colored wire or the "beige" wire?.
Damn, I should have been paying attention in class instead of writing software in intercal to strip the css from the disks.
For sharing of presentations, my research group uses either S5 or.pdf for the actual presentations. This gives us either a webpage or a pdf version of OpenOffice / PowerPoint (gasp!). We then share the files via the web and CVS. This tends to work nicely.
We also have experimented with filming our presentations and then uploading them to Google Video or sharing them as a flash movie. This works well for our purposes, but is not optimal for live sharing of video.
For those who just want to see a unit conversion, 110 degrees C is roughly equivalent to 230 degrees Fahrenheit.
Or in more practical (and painful) terms, roughly the same temperature as the coffee spills that burn you in the crotchal area when you hit a bump in the road whilst drinking coffee during your morning commute.
So it's gotten to the point now where even stalking is automated. Kids today have it so easy. When I was their age, I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid for breakfast, work twenty-nine hours a day down at the mill, and pay the mill owner for permission to come to work. When we got home, our Dad would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
... And you had to do all of that while going uphill. Both ways. Without shoes. And the ground was covered with broken glass...
I have attempted in the past to explain DRM to my parents by using an analogy based on a house. I know house/lock/weaponry analogies tend to fail rather quickly, however, it strantely worked with my non-tech parents.
I have included a rough transcript of the analogy below.
==
For our purposes, we have a digital file, which is represented by a house. We have digital rights management (DRM), which is represented by an elaborite door and lock system which is operated by a rather burly doorman.
Now for the cases... Case 1: You own the house and the doorman is under your control. (This is similar to you creating a document and applying your own DRM to it.)
You are the owner of the house. You can tell the doorman to keep people out completely, to let certian people in so that they can see your model train collection in the basement, to let certian people open your refrigerator and take a beer... what ever you want, when you want.
Case 2: You rent the house, but the doorman lets you do what you want (You get a document and the terms of usage are unlimited.)
You may rent the house, but the doorman lets you do anything you want.
Case 3: You rent the house, but the doorman has strict orders on what you can do (You get a document with moderate DRM)
You are a tennant, but you can't repaint the walls. The doorman, unknown to you, has been forbidden to let your friends drink your beer.
Case 4: You rent the house, but you have no control. (You get a document with extreme DRM)
You live at the house, but the doorman can do anything he wants to you. Whenever you put beer in the frige, the doorman is the only person allowed to drink it. You are allowed a dog, but the doorman only allows it to poop in your bedroom. Occasionally, you wakeup and the entire place is redecorated by the landlord. You want to move, but the contract you signed prevents it until a replacement house is built.
Slashdot Mirror
Its rather simple... someone just needs to convince Congress that the government needs to create the post of "Internet Plumber", whose sole purpose is to make sure the internet tubes are either kept spotlessly clean, or thouroughly plugged to prevent botnet attacks.
The person who is elected to the position of Internet Plumber will be required to wear the honorable red uniform of Mario. The Internet Plumber will also be required to give weekly updates about the internet tubes. C-SPAN will be required to air these update reports, even if the Internet Plumber is engaged in a job resulting in the plumber's crack being exposed.
As for the law... people who are found guilty of creating and/or using botnets for any reason shall be forced to use AOL or Compuserve dialup for the remainder of their natural lives. All email they send and forum posts they post shall only consist of the words "Me to." They will only be permitted to use computers running Windows ME, and the desktop must feature a background image of the goatse man or tubgirl.
This should be a good start in the war against botnets.
And I always thought ubuntu was the ancient african word for "Wanted Linux, but refuse to RTFM in order to install Gentoo."
Actually, I thought most users (namely Gentoo users) already refer to it as "Ricer FS"
As my friend would say (and I thoroughly agree with him), "There is no such thing as a former Marine!"
But yeah, it was one hellova nice war story
Unfortunately, I hit submit before typo checking my post.
My excuse for that is either "I've had a long day" or "My dog did it", your choice.
You forgot numbers 7 and 8:
7. ?????
6. Profit!!
Here is an honest story about a friend of mine's experience with the TSA:
A friend of mine was once (and only once) bullied by the TSA. The incident occured in July 2004 at the Las Vegas airport.
But first, I need to describe my friend... He is a former Marine DI, approximately 6 feet tall, and in damn good shape. He also isn't one to bullshit a story like this. Oh, is also insane. Seriously, he draws disability pay from government because of his confirmed diagnosis of insanity. He is a guy you *DON'T* want to mess with...
Anyways, a TSA agent had the bright idea to follow him (apparently, moustache and a cowboy hat == terrorist suspect). Said agent, then decided to approach my friend from behind and grab him so that he could question him. Not a smart move... Within one second after grabbing his shoulder from behind, my friend turned around, and by reflex snapped the TSA agent's arm. He literally shattered the TSA agent's arm without even giving it a thought.
All TSA agents in the immediate area swarmed him with their pistols drawn. Apparently, this saved the TSA agent's life, as my friend was about to land the killing blow on the guy. They took him into custody, and proceeded to question him. They later told him that the injured agent has filed assault and battery charges.
And then a funny thing happened... my friend immediately told the TSA agents holding him that he wishes to file charges against the TSA agent who started the entire incident. From what I remember, he told them that the agent was guilty of "Assault and battery under the guise of authority, at the very least." This lead to the agent being charged and later convicted of assault and my friend being placed on the next flight home.
Take the story for what it's worth. (I'm not going to respond to claims concerning the authenticity or validity)
Apparently, the Aliens forgot to read this security advisory: CERT(sm) Advisory CA-96.13.
Nice satellite pictures.
I found a very up close picture taken from a US spy satellite
Tubgirl may be a better choice for some spreadsheets or presentations.
Goatse man would be good for OpenOffice Draw. Puts a whole new spin on pulling a drawing out of somewhere...
He could have engaged in spontaneous human combustion while holding the original manuscript.
Crap! I always get this one confused... I think you have to cut either the "burnt siam" colored wire or the "amber" colored wire. Or was it either the "butterscotch" colored wire or the "beige" wire?.
Damn, I should have been paying attention in class instead of writing software in intercal to strip the css from the disks.
For sharing of presentations, my research group uses either S5 or .pdf for the actual presentations. This gives us either a webpage or a pdf version of OpenOffice / PowerPoint (gasp!). We then share the files via the web and CVS. This tends to work nicely.
We also have experimented with filming our presentations and then uploading them to Google Video or sharing them as a flash movie. This works well for our purposes, but is not optimal for live sharing of video.
Its rather simple... Use the following equasions to figure out what altitude and pressure are required:
(equasions from: http://www.hi-tm.com/Documents/Calib-boil.html)
Pressure (in. Hg) = 29.921* (1-6.8753*0.000001 * altitude, ft.)^5.2559
Boiling point (in F) = 49.161 * Ln (in. Hg) + 44.932
So, for our coffee (ok, water for this example) to boil at 230F, the equasion looks like:
230 = 49.161 * Ln (x) + 44.932
Solve for x and you would get something like 43.143371617 (unless your math is better than mine...)
Now, what does this mean? Simple-- increase the pressure or start digging to a point well below sea level and you'll be able to boil water at 110C.
Mr. Rogers in a blood stained sweater will stop the the legion of HDMI ports.
Yes I am. I thought the etl.cs.luc.edu (*.luc.edu = Loyola University Chicago) link in my URL field was a clear give away.
And just as an FYI, The optimum coffee brewing temerature is between 194 to 204 degrees Fahrenheit (90 - 95.55-ish degrees Celsius. (at least according to http://metropoliscoffee.com/university/brewing/pe
For those who just want to see a unit conversion, 110 degrees C is roughly equivalent to 230 degrees Fahrenheit.
Or in more practical (and painful) terms, roughly the same temperature as the coffee spills that burn you in the crotchal area when you hit a bump in the road whilst drinking coffee during your morning commute.
Agreed! They went a bit *too* far with that. Nuff said.
Actually, they didn't cut the sex scene out of the movie, they just trimmed at least 2 minutes off of it so that the film would be rated R.
Just a little?!
Fair enough. But remember, without Pearl Harbor, we would not have had Team America World Police.
I disagree with your conclusion. Everybody knows that it is Papa Smurf's fault. That commie bastard.
I have attempted in the past to explain DRM to my parents by using an analogy based on a house. I know house/lock/weaponry analogies tend to fail rather quickly, however, it strantely worked with my non-tech parents.
I have included a rough transcript of the analogy below.
==
For our purposes, we have a digital file, which is represented by a house.
We have digital rights management (DRM), which is represented by an elaborite door and lock system which is operated by a rather burly doorman.
Now for the cases...
Case 1: You own the house and the doorman is under your control.
(This is similar to you creating a document and applying your own DRM to it.)
You are the owner of the house. You can tell the doorman to keep people out completely, to let certian people in so that they can see your model train collection in the basement, to let certian people open your refrigerator and take a beer... what ever you want, when you want.
Case 2: You rent the house, but the doorman lets you do what you want
(You get a document and the terms of usage are unlimited.)
You may rent the house, but the doorman lets you do anything you want.
Case 3: You rent the house, but the doorman has strict orders on what you can do
(You get a document with moderate DRM)
You are a tennant, but you can't repaint the walls. The doorman, unknown to you, has been forbidden to let your friends drink your beer.
Case 4: You rent the house, but you have no control.
(You get a document with extreme DRM)
You live at the house, but the doorman can do anything he wants to you. Whenever you put beer in the frige, the doorman is the only person allowed to drink it. You are allowed a dog, but the doorman only allows it to poop in your bedroom. Occasionally, you wakeup and the entire place is redecorated by the landlord. You want to move, but the contract you signed prevents it until a replacement house is built.
No, it was the Civ II wav file for launching a nuke.
Hey, we also have 55 years until we attempt to land on Halley's Commet, but have to abort in order to launch a rescue mission on Europa
I think I heard a responce from the Netcraft trolls...
<troll>
It is now official. Netcraft confirms: "NetBSD is thriving"
</troll>