Slashdot Mirror

“Oh, so I’m not allowed to mention the fact that he messily devoured a live salmon during a staff meeting?”

http://crazyapplerumors.com/2013/03/21/bob-mansfields-review/

John Moltz pegs it.

Apple Insider's just throwing smoke.

I thought pudding was sent via wireless? Oh wait Peter Mehring killed that project. http://www.crazyapplerumors.com/?p=105

Covered comprehensively by CARS in 2001: http://www.crazyapplerumors.com/?p=341

The only people I always see spouting such crap are the people who claim to hate Apple fanboys. I've never seen an Apple fanboy make absurd claims like yours. This is like a fucking self-fullfilling prophecy. Every damn article about Apple is run over by stupid Anti-Apple trolls who write hundreds of comments laughing about imaginary Apple fanboys and the imaginary stupid things they say.

Here's an idea: Shut up, and let those who are interested in the article discuss it. Thanks.

That's funny. An Apple hater pretends to be an Apple fanboy. Some other Apple hater is so oblivious of reality, and thinks Mac users are sto stupid and will say absolutely anything, that he thinks person 1 actually is a fanboy (and seemingly even takes person 1 as a reason to increase his own hate).

I think this is how Apple hating usually works, actually. Since it's hard to actually find a real-life crazy Mac user who pretends that Mac OS X is completely secure and that every bad thing happening to Apple is actually good, you just have to make up such a person to justify your Apple hating.

here, of course.

Woohoo! Macs for Mac Users, beyotch!

Macs for Mac Users!

Macs for Mac Users!

Apple fanboys like to think Apple invented everything good about technology.

No, actually. Apple "fanboys" don't think that. You must be thinking of one specific Apple fanboy, Artie MacStrawman.

It's backlash for years of flaky technical support, deceitful practices and arrogance on the part of the Mac community in general.

Yeah... Although I think it's mostly Artie MacStrawman who's responsible for the Mac community's bad image.

I'm not sure what you're trying to say. Did grandparent call crackers scum? I didn't see that. Who called crackers scum? Some Mac users you know? And you don't think that there are Windows users calling crackers scum? I mean, this just smells of Artie McStrawman. Mac users aren't one person. There are many different Mac users. Some stupid, some not, just like with most other large groups of people.

the mac zealots out there (those who believe it was the perfectly secure OS, but even patched it shows that what some zealots were saying before was an absolute steaming pile of something - there's a Mac user in the office 50 ft from me, i'm going there now to laugh)

Oh, you mean Artie McStrawman? Yeah! Let's laugh at that sucker! HAHA!

That would be "As the Apple Turns II" at: http://appleturns.blogspot.com/ or "Crazy Apple Rumors" at: http://www.crazyapplerumors.com/.

Not always ... after all, there was a stretch of comics where Gabe switched. In perhaps more ways than one.

But I agree with their general point, it's just always good clean fun to pick on Artie MacStrawman.

Welcome To Crazy Ubuntu Rumors Site!

A couple of geeks, who cares, but CARS? CARS is switching to CURS!?!?

Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

Macs for Mac users!

No they're not!

You are quite correct, it is obvious if just keep your eyes open and your mind ready. So, you don't have to be Jobs.

I'm betting you're Schiller, though. "SCHIL-LER! SCHIL-LER"

This is mentioned on http://www.crazyapplerumors.com/archives/000429.ht ml#000429.

Silliness. Enjoy!

I like the CARS take on it:

• The company that manufactures your MP3 player should never be named after a fruit. That's just hippie bullshit.
• Under no circumstances should your MP3 player be stylish. You don't want to be taken for a dandy. After all, you never know when you may find yourself incarcerated through an unfortunate series of events that are no fault of your own. And you know what they do to dandies in prison. Yikes.
• When picking an operating system or office suite, it's a great idea to go with the one with the highest market share, because you're guaranteed a quality product that will be around for years to come. But not with flash-based MP3 players. It's a completely different situation. Completely.
• etc.

CARS is good stuff!

Wait, you can get karma just for saying you have an idea? When did Paul Thurrott get mod points?

And as we all know, Jef Raskin is responsible for everything we see and touch every day.

Autoblog http://www.autoblog.com/

Crazy Apple Rumors Site http://www.crazyapplerumors.com/

Hackaday http://www.hackaday.com/

I think you underestimate the intrinsic beauty of Apple packaging. Apple packaging technology is followed closely by the Mac community.

I liked the article that Crazy Apple Rumors had on it.

Common... everybody knows that Apple is working on sexbots....

Obviously iMac needs more MHz than last september's models, but I don't see G5s there until fall. Also, the GPUs definitely need bumping (currently 4MX low or 5200 high).

But more important is the PowerMac G5, also stagnant for the past 6 months. Everyone is looking for exactly one number: 2.5 GHz. Bumping the low-end mobo to PCI-X and ditching the FX5200 would also be nice.

An interview with Andy Hertzfeld

Nice spelling... Of course, Apple does make a butter computer.

Ok, so a Ronco "Mr. Microphone", or an iMrMicrophone would be illegal... should Karaoke in general be outlawed ? I wouldn't want that one put to a vote !

And what about those McDonalds drive-thrus, I think they us FM band ? So do garage door openers and baby monitors !

Apple Rocked By "G5" Scandal.

Just one week after the "G5"'s introduction, Apple has been hit by shocking allegations that the name of the chip powering the computer is nothing more than a tawdry attempt at huckstering, worthy of the lowest flim-flam artist.

According to highly placed industry sources, the "G5" is actually the IBM PowerPC 970, and Apple has been using the "G5" name simply to sell more computers.

Through a systematic application of underhanded techniques known as "marketing," Apple attempted to convince customers that the "G5" was newer and a step above its previous computers.

"Apple has plaster the 'G5' moniker all over its promotional materials," said InfoWorld's Tom Yager. "And it's all a lie. They made that name up."

According to Crazy Apple Rumors, you're not far off.

MAC ain't gonna do it... they're too desktop focused.

Guy About Had It With People Who Confuse "Apple," "Mac."

forgot crazyapplerumors.com

If you're going to mention As The Apple Turns, you must also mention its evil twin site Crazy Apple Rumors.

I visit them both daily.

To prove the system works, Jobs revealed that Apple Senior Director of Hardware Product Marketing, Greg Joswiak, is, in fact, the result of an iClone experiment combining the genes of Jobs and Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak. "Half Steve and half me!" Jobs said. "He's great for Hardware Product Marketing, and we grew him in just three weeks!"

To prove the system works, Jobs revealed that Apple Senior Director of Hardware Product Marketing, Greg Joswiak, is, in fact, the result of an iClone experiment combining the genes of Jobs and Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak. "Half Steve and half me!" Jobs said. "He's great for Hardware Product Marketing, and we grew him in just three weeks!"

Looks like one of those unfunny Onion wannabes who only make the superiority of The Onion painfully obvious. This is another one. (Tip: read Our Dumb Century to get an idea of how good those Onion guys actually are.)

JP

At least one site actually picked it up.

Of course nobody takes them seriously anyway. Except Apple that is.

At least one site actually picked it up.

Of course nobody takes them seriously anyway. Except Apple that is.

Apple Computers is pleased to announce the acquisition of a tuna fish sandwich on wheat toast with lettuce and mayonnaise.

CEO Steve Jobs said "Apple has a long history of eating sandwiches, and this one will be no exception. I won't be eating it personally, since I don't eat fish or mayonnaise, but this sandwich will help us better achieve increased market share by providing much-needed nourishment."

Apple ignited the personal computer revolution in the 1970s with the Apple II and reinvented the personal computer in the 1980s with the Macintosh. Apple is committed to bringing the best personal computing experience to its customers through its innovative hardware, software and Internet offerings.

The tuna fish sandwich is a tasty lunch treat enjoyed by people the world over.

Marcus Gregory, Chief Investment Strategist for the State of California Teacher's Pension Plan, said "Our holding in Apple is predicated on the company's large cash reserves. I would hate to see those reserves frittered away on sandwich acquisitions.

"Now, granted, at the $5.75 purchase price of the tuna fish sandwich, Apple would need to acquire... five plus... carry the... well, a whole hell of a lot of sandwiches to make a dent in $5 billion, but it's the principle of thing."

Amusing items in this year's issue:

• Apple Reschedules WWDC Yet Again
• Microsoft Word 5.1 for Mac OS X
• Catching Up with the Voice of Macintosh: Fred

Regarding the processor speed issue: yes, that is a real issue for a lot of people (though certainly not for everyone). Apple knows this :) But do you honestly think that people who think about lighting in a store can do something about that? Why would trying to make a store as good as possible be mutually exclusive with improving the speed of the PPC's, especially since it's not Apple itself that makes them? It's not like they have to choose between one or another...

They're really trying not to, beleive me :)

I thought John Gruber's review of Konfabulator at Daring Fireball was interesting: he points out that you can't use native widgets -- every graphic element has to be composed -- and that he'd have liked an IDE. He also thinks that adoption rates would be better if they gave away the runtime engine (the app itself) but charged for the development environment.

I can't see this getting past the "this is cool" stage, or getting anywhere near the "this is useful" or even the "this is indispensable" stages.

See also Crazy Apple Rumors, which, as usual, hits the nail on the head: "While there is widespread confusion about what Konfabulator specifically does, there is little confusion about the fact that it is stylish and it is the hottest new application for OS X."