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This poster now applies to MS Security Despair. It's nice when your business model depends on you screwing up.

Secret to Success It's not always how well you do your job...

This just makes despair.com so true.

I have always thought that this guy has a point. Now it is scientifically proven. Time to buy some of the Y2006 demotivators http://www.despair.com/. Yess... The Dreamer above my desk definitely looks like the best way towards success...

I have always thought that this guy has a point. Now it is scientifically proven. Time to buy some of the Y2006 demotivators http://www.despair.com/. Yess... The Dreamer above my desk definitely looks like the best way towards success...

Just hope they don't install it in any fighter jets.

Penguins may have wings, but they CAN'T FLY.

http://despair.com/limitations.html

Quite similar. Initially Despair.com attempted a copyright on :-( and was rejected. That was my orginal submission, back in the days of yor (when it was rejected) seems they shifted footing and went for Trademark.

Still, the patent for emoticons is preposterous and whoever granted it should be publicly flogged. They probably are some old cuss who has never been on the internet and still write with an Underwood typewritter.

I think this is what you were talking about:

http://www.despair.com/

This patent will conflict with Despair.com's registered trademark, won't it?

Prior art!

"Trying is the first step toward failure..."

That soulds like something from http://www.despair.com/

What a load of crud. Somebody send him to Demotivators, quickly.

http://www.despair.com/potential.html

I saw this earlier on the board, so I thought I'd share it with you. :)

What ever happened to the time when you could disagree with someone, but still respect their opinion?

Was anybody else thinking of this poster when they read that title?

Meetings - None of us is as dumb as all of us

http://www.despair.com/meetings.html

Than this

http://despair.com/pretension.html =)

Hi, this is your boss and I absolutely love this thing. If you don't like working here, you probably don't belong here. It's been said better, Sometimes the best solution to moral problems is to just fire all of the unhappy people.

Sarcasm off. This technology is sure to be loved and abused as above. Like you, I doubt any real use can be made of the user's emotions and it will get things wrong, even if you do wire everyone up like a space rabbit. Oh yeah, your boss probably knows who Sefert is, even if you only post at home, though other abuses of technology.

"Hard work often pays off after time,
  but laziness always pays off now."
http://www.despair.com/proc24x30pri.html

The principle is unarguable and your reply exemplifies this.

"Crap" is subjective and is not quantifiable. Perhaps 90% of everything is crap in your opinion, in which case it is unarguable because you can believe whatever you want.

Your post originally claimed 80% morons. Your reply claims that 10% in the world are geniuses. That means that only 10% of the world is 'normal'. Care to make up any more statistics?

You might check with Dr. Kersten and his company http://despair.com/ -- he has lots of suggestions. Your conference room might benefit from a few of these lithographs.

Actually that's from the consulting de-motivator from http://despair.com/viewall.html

I will preface this with the fact that I have worked about 20 years now in the IT industry and worked for two of the "biggest evil empires" the industry has known as well as couple ideological startups. Right now Google is the golden child, and if you look back.. at one point in time so was IBM.. and so was Microsoft..

One lesson I have picked up in this industry and in the world in general is that we love building up heros only because we love tearing them down and watching them fall. It's a sad side of human existance but the inevitable fall of Google from the adulation and shameless love of the IT community will serve mostly to make people in the IT community feel better about themselves.

They wrote an article tooting their own horn and philosophy and this is breaking news in the IT world? Wasn't there something in Clerks about a guy.. who broke his neck... doing something???

Strive to reach consensus. Modern corporate mythology has the unique decision maker as hero. We adhere to the view that the "many are smarter than the few," and solicit a broad base of views before reaching any decision.

Might I direct you to... http://www.despair.com/idiocy.html

Every time I see this quote, I'm reminded of this Despair Inc poster.

I just think IT people have a slightly different attitude. Clothes are one way of expressing that.

An example of this: I recently had a chat with a someone we recently hired (kinda tech support role, but new to the role). She came along to a customer site and remarked that she liked the inspiritational posters they had up on the walls. This was rather funny as I have been considering getting work to buy some demotivational posters from despair. The reason I wanted to buy them was to increase morale.

Anyway I turn up work most days in jeans and a T-Shirt. I'll suit up if I am meeting a client.

Demotivation: sometimes the best solution to morale problems is to fire all the unhappy people.

http://despair.com/demotivation.html

Sounds like they need a few of these posters ;)

I think this solution sums it up more nicely in my book than to be all bubbly in a scary sort of way.

http://despair.com/demotivation.html

A rule-of-thumb in software development: If a place has too many Dilbert cartoons on cubicle sides, have an exit strategy. If it has none, RUN!!!

It's the greatest time of your life. Never again will you have leisure time to pursue whatever you want, whenever you want.

Not only that, but you're on your own, you're surrounded by other people on their own.

Seriously, for any of a thousand reasons, don't shortcut college.

Life's a journey, not a destination. Stop running. (Obligatory Demotivator

I agree.

I think Despair says it best:
Irresponsibility (Despair.com)

And it rocks absolutely, too.

Absolute Power ROCKS Absolutely!

http://despair.com/power.html

Remember...
None of us is as dumb as all of us

Reminds me of despair.com

Personally, I'd rather have a promotion w/o pay raise even with worth stock options than the insulting 1% raise I had last year (one of the reasons I switched to HP). At least the promotion and stock options are some sort of recognition that you're doing well. Sometimes the recognition isn't enough, but it's certainly better than busting your ass and no one saying thanks (another reason).

Stupid policies--I used to work for a government contractor. I've seen way worse. Regardless of whatever stupid policies they may have, HP is in business to make money, whereas the government contractor was in business to spend money--usually none of it for the first 10 months and all of it in the last two (or they won't get as much next year). So at least w/ HP, their policies will go away if they're negatively affecting the bottom line.

you should have suggested something from this guys

Chill. The sig is a quotation from despair.com

http://despair.com/meetings.html

Why look at the upside, when the glass-half-empty is so much more fun?

http://www.despair.com/pessimistmug.html :)

Despair, Inc already trademarked the frowny (tm) name and symbol ":-( (TM)" All trademarks are owned by their respective owners, ie Despair, Inc.

Didn't Despair.com already claim the "frownie" for their logo? http://www.despair.com/demotivators/frownonthis.ht ml

http://despair.com/ambition.html

My personal favorite.

Remember this?

DALLAS, TX - January 2nd, 2001 - In a move that has millions across the Internet community frowning, Despair, Inc. today announced that the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) had awarded them a registered trademark for the 'frowny' emoticon which serves as their logo.

At a press conference, Despair's COO, Dr. E.L.Kersten, announced his intentions to sue "anyone and everyone who uses the so-called 'frowny' emoticon, or our trademarked logo, in their written email correspondence. Ever."

Here's the full article.

:-(

There was despair.com mock trademark of the frownies a few years ago tho :)
http://www.despair.com/frownies.html

WHile not a patent, despair.com owns the trademark on :-(. Luckilly, you can buy them from despair.com to use in your emails...:-P

Actually, someone did trademark the frownie.

http://www.despair.com/frownies.html

Remember their press release announcing a trademark on the frowning face and that they'd be licensing it?

http://www.despair.com/frownies.html

despair.com should've really patented it... http://www.despair.com/demotivators/misfortunate.h tml