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If they sue God, they violate the patent I just filed.

Posted from the nero-online.org Troll Library

Following my work researching The Linux Gay Conspiracy, I am saddened to announced that I have discovered yet another orgy of perverted heterophobic values. My claim lies with the Slashdot mangement.

First, what kind of name is Slashdot? This is obviously a code word in the homosexual community for something perverted.
Slashdot is an anagram of LAD SHOTS, which refers to Slashdot's pedophile agenda and T ASS HOLD, which refers to some gay sexual posistion that Michael and CmdrTaco enjoy.

The 'editors' of Slashdot, as they call themselves, are homosexual swingers with cleverly disguised nicknames.

CmdrTaco (aka "Rob" Malda) is the "head" honcho of Slashdot. Cmdr obviously refers to his desire to dominate over his gay partners, and Taco is obviously a sly reference to his colon. Update: It is well known that Taco claims to be married to Kate Fent. No one really believes that 'she' is actually his wife. We have proof that this 'she' is actually a he. It turns out that Kathleen Fent is an anagram of KHAN FELT EN ET. So this Kate of his is really Khan who "felt in it". I will not describe what that means as I am sure you can imagine yourself.Update From AC: Kate Fent = FAT TEEN, K.

Michael Sims, who goes as 'michael' on Slashdot, is a well known thug and advancer of homosexual agenda. His name is an anagram of ASS CHIME MIL which obviously refers to his desire to flaunt his lower organ.Update: It turns out that Michael Sims is also an anagram of ASS LICE, HMM, I?. That is so sick that words cannot describe the horror.

Father Randy "Pudge" O'Day is Slashdot's Mac propagandist. Macintosh computers are well known as the Gay computer due to their homosexual colors and stylings. An email exchange between 'Pudge' and Apple HQ have been leaked by a former Apple employee who converted to heterosexuality. These two emails (here and here) have been repeatedly posted on Slashdot, but are quickly censored by Slashdot moderators who do not want the public to know about its agenda.Update form Subject Line Troll - it appears the O'Day is just a few letter changes away from I'm Gay and rhymes with O'Day. Is anyone surprised that Mr. Pudge is a fudge packing Mac hippie?

Simoniker, a recent addition to Slashdot has been uncovered as Mr. Goatse himself. Simoniker is a frequent poster to the Games section of Slashdot, obviously because he enjoies modded versions of Quake 3 and UT2K3 as a homosexual warrior who likes to 'overcome' his opponents with his exagerated sized love member. In addition, Simoniker is an anagram of KEN I RIM SO (Ken is probably his current boyfriend) and MEN I IRK SO (which refers to his frustratingly troubled gay relationships, probably due to his rather large asshole).Update from AC: I'M ON ERIK'S... "Eriks what? We can only imagine" -AC.

CowboyNeal. How could I forget him? CowboyNeal is Slashdot's Poll Editor. His rampant homosexuality is obvious. "Cowboy Kneel" is what his name actually means. His odd sexuality needs no further explanation.

Please reply with additional information, contributions, and corrections. I will include any additional information and credit you with it in my further releases of this report.

Posted from the nero-online.org Troll Library

Following my work researching The Linux Gay Conspiracy, I am saddened to announced that I have discovered yet another orgy of perverted heterophobic values. My claim lies with the Slashdot mangement.

First, what kind of name is Slashdot? This is obviously a code word in the homosexual community for something perverted.
Slashdot is an anagram of LAD SHOTS, which refers to Slashdot's pedophile agenda and T ASS HOLD, which refers to some gay sexual posistion that Michael and CmdrTaco enjoy.

The 'editors' of Slashdot, as they call themselves, are homosexual swingers with cleverly disguised nicknames.

CmdrTaco (aka "Rob" Malda) is the "head" honcho of Slashdot. Cmdr obviously refers to his desire to dominate over his gay partners, and Taco is obviously a sly reference to his colon. Update: It is well known that Taco claims to be married to Kate Fent. No one really believes that 'she' is actually his wife. We have proof that this 'she' is actually a he. It turns out that Kathleen Fent is an anagram of KHAN FELT EN ET. So this Kate of his is really Khan who "felt in it". I will not describe what that means as I am sure you can imagine yourself.Update From AC: Kate Fent = FAT TEEN, K.

Michael Sims, who goes as 'michael' on Slashdot, is a well known thug and advancer of homosexual agenda. His name is an anagram of ASS CHIME MIL which obviously refers to his desire to flaunt his lower organ.Update: It turns out that Michael Sims is also an anagram of ASS LICE, HMM, I?. That is so sick that words cannot describe the horror.

Father Randy "Pudge" O'Day is Slashdot's Mac propagandist. Macintosh computers are well known as the Gay computer due to their homosexual colors and stylings. An email exchange between 'Pudge' and Apple HQ have been leaked by a former Apple employee who converted to heterosexuality. These two emails (here and here) have been repeatedly posted on Slashdot, but are quickly censored by Slashdot moderators who do not want the public to know about its agenda.Update form Subject Line Troll - it appears the O'Day is just a few letter changes away from I'm Gay and rhymes with O'Day. Is anyone surprised that Mr. Pudge is a fudge packing Mac hippie?

Simoniker, a recent addition to Slashdot has been uncovered as Mr. Goatse himself. Simoniker is a frequent poster to the Games section of Slashdot, obviously because he enjoies modded versions of Quake 3 and UT2K3 as a homosexual warrior who likes to 'overcome' his opponents with his exagerated sized love member. In addition, Simoniker is an anagram of KEN I RIM SO (Ken is probably his current boyfriend) and MEN I IRK SO (which refers to his frustratingly troubled gay relationships, probably due to his rather large asshole).Update from AC: I'M ON ERIK'S... "Eriks what? We can only imagine" -AC.

CowboyNeal. How could I forget him? CowboyNeal is Slashdot's Poll Editor. His rampant homosexuality is obvious. "Cowboy Kneel" is what his name actually means. His odd sexuality needs no further explanation.

Please reply with additional information, contributions, and corrections. I will include any additional information and credit you with it in my further releases of this report.

Oh my God, that is worse than any of the other pictures that make their way around the Slashdot comments. That is incredibly disgusting, way worse than goatse.cx or tubgirl. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Posted from the nero-online.org Troll Library

Following my work researching The Linux Gay Conspiracy, I am saddened to announced that I have discovered yet another orgy of perverted heterophobic values. My claim lies with the Slashdot mangement.

First, what kind of name is Slashdot? This is obviously a code word in the homosexual community for something perverted.
Slashdot is an anagram of LAD SHOTS, which refers to Slashdot's pedophile agenda and T ASS HOLD, which refers to some gay sexual posistion that Michael and CmdrTaco enjoy.

The 'editors' of Slashdot, as they call themselves, are homosexual swingers with cleverly disguised nicknames.

CmdrTaco (aka "Rob" Malda) is the "head" honcho of Slashdot. Cmdr obviously refers to his desire to dominate over his gay partners, and Taco is obviously a sly reference to his colon. Update: It is well known that Taco claims to be married to Kate Fent. No one really believes that 'she' is actually his wife. We have proof that this 'she' is actually a he. It turns out that Kathleen Fent is an anagram of KHAN FELT EN ET. So this Kate of his is really Khan who "felt in it". I will not describe what that means as I am sure you can imagine yourself.Update From AC: Kate Fent = FAT TEEN, K.

Michael Sims, who goes as 'michael' on Slashdot, is a well known thug and advancer of homosexual agenda. His name is an anagram of ASS CHIME MIL which obviously refers to his desire to flaunt his lower organ.Update: It turns out that Michael Sims is also an anagram of ASS LICE, HMM, I?. That is so sick that words cannot describe the horror.

Father Randy "Pudge" O'Day is Slashdot's Mac propagandist. Macintosh computers are well known as the Gay computer due to their homosexual colors and stylings. An email exchange between 'Pudge' and Apple HQ have been leaked by a former Apple employee who converted to heterosexuality. These two emails (here and here) have been repeatedly posted on Slashdot, but are quickly censored by Slashdot moderators who do not want the public to know about its agenda.Update form Subject Line Troll - it appears the O'Day is just a few letter changes away from I'm Gay and rhymes with O'Day. Is anyone surprised that Mr. Pudge is a fudge packing Mac hippie?

Simoniker, a recent addition to Slashdot has been uncovered as Mr. Goatse himself. Simoniker is a frequent poster to the Games section of Slashdot, obviously because he enjoies modded versions of Quake 3 and UT2K3 as a homosexual warrior who likes to 'overcome' his opponents with his exagerated sized love member. In addition, Simoniker is an anagram of KEN I RIM SO (Ken is probably his current boyfriend) and MEN I IRK SO (which refers to his frustratingly troubled gay relationships, probably due to his rather large asshole).Update from AC: I'M ON ERIK'S... "Eriks what? We can only imagine" -AC.

CowboyNeal. How could I forget him? CowboyNeal is Slashdot's Poll Editor. His rampant homosexuality is obvious. "Cowboy Kneel" is what his name actually means. His odd sexuality needs no further explanation.

Please reply with additional information, contributions, and corrections. I will include any additional information and credit you with it in my further releases of this report.

Posted from the nero-online.org Troll Library

Following my work researching The Linux Gay Conspiracy, I am saddened to announced that I have discovered yet another orgy of perverted heterophobic values. My claim lies with the Slashdot mangement.

First, what kind of name is Slashdot? This is obviously a code word in the homosexual community for something perverted.
Slashdot is an anagram of LAD SHOTS, which refers to Slashdot's pedophile agenda and T ASS HOLD, which refers to some gay sexual posistion that Michael and CmdrTaco enjoy.

The 'editors' of Slashdot, as they call themselves, are homosexual swingers with cleverly disguised nicknames.

CmdrTaco (aka "Rob" Malda) is the "head" honcho of Slashdot. Cmdr obviously refers to his desire to dominate over his gay partners, and Taco is obviously a sly reference to his colon. Update: It is well known that Taco claims to be married to Kate Fent. No one really believes that 'she' is actually his wife. We have proof that this 'she' is actually a he. It turns out that Kathleen Fent is an anagram of KHAN FELT EN ET. So this Kate of his is really Khan who "felt in it". I will not describe what that means as I am sure you can imagine yourself.Update From AC: Kate Fent = FAT TEEN, K.

Michael Sims, who goes as 'michael' on Slashdot, is a well known thug and advancer of homosexual agenda. His name is an anagram of ASS CHIME MIL which obviously refers to his desire to flaunt his lower organ.Update: It turns out that Michael Sims is also an anagram of ASS LICE, HMM, I?. That is so sick that words cannot describe the horror.

Father Randy "Pudge" O'Day is Slashdot's Mac propagandist. Macintosh computers are well known as the Gay computer due to their homosexual colors and stylings. An email exchange between 'Pudge' and Apple HQ have been leaked by a former Apple employee who converted to heterosexuality. These two emails (here and here) have been repeatedly posted on Slashdot, but are quickly censored by Slashdot moderators who do not want the public to know about its agenda.Update form Subject Line Troll - it appears the O'Day is just a few letter changes away from I'm Gay and rhymes with O'Day. Is anyone surprised that Mr. Pudge is a fudge packing Mac hippie?

Simoniker, a recent addition to Slashdot has been uncovered as Mr. Goatse himself. Simoniker is a frequent poster to the Games section of Slashdot, obviously because he enjoies modded versions of Quake 3 and UT2K3 as a homosexual warrior who likes to 'overcome' his opponents with his exagerated sized love member. In addition, Simoniker is an anagram of KEN I RIM SO (Ken is probably his current boyfriend) and MEN I IRK SO (which refers to his frustratingly troubled gay relationships, probably due to his rather large asshole).Update from AC: I'M ON ERIK'S... "Eriks what? We can only imagine" -AC.

CowboyNeal. How could I forget him? CowboyNeal is Slashdot's Poll Editor. His rampant homosexuality is obvious. "Cowboy Kneel" is what his name actually means. His odd sexuality needs no further explanation.

Please reply with additional information, contributions, and corrections. I will include any additional information and credit you with it in my further releases of this report.

I beleive that they have already caused enough damage. Make these threats stop.

Yes, right here.

Everytime you click on GOATSE , a fairy gets his salad tossed!

Now, mind you, this post isn't entirely a normal troll. I do actually feel this case is a horrible infringement on our rights. However, it does kind of remind me of this. Ye olde gaping anus is sometimes a better metaphor for current events than people give it credit for. I mean, it's a guy bending over and spreading open his anus to an almost impossible width. Wow! Who would've thought such a thing was possible! And everytime you click this link, you are forced to stare into the external redness that is this great man's humongous anus. Kind of reminds me of life, it does... But I digress. This guy getting busted for selling adult comics to an adult really irks me, in kind of the same way this blatent goatse.cx troll probably irks you.

Now, mind you, this post isn't entirely a normal troll. I do actually feel this case is a horrible infringement on our rights. However, it does kind of remind me of this. Ye olde gaping anus is sometimes a better metaphor for current events than people give it credit for. I mean, it's a guy bending over and spreading open his anus to an almost impossible width. Wow! Who would've thought such a thing was possible! And everytime you click this link, you are forced to stare into the external redness that is this great man's humongous anus. Kind of reminds me of life, it does... But I digress. This guy getting busted for selling adult comics to an adult really irks me, in kind of the same way this blatent goatse.cx troll probably irks you.

Now, mind you, this post isn't entirely a normal troll. I do actually feel this case is a horrible infringement on our rights. However, it does kind of remind me of this. Ye olde gaping anus is sometimes a better metaphor for current events than people give it credit for. I mean, it's a guy bending over and spreading open his anus to an almost impossible width. Wow! Who would've thought such a thing was possible! And everytime you click this link, you are forced to stare into the external redness that is this great man's humongous anus. Kind of reminds me of life, it does... But I digress. This guy getting busted for selling adult comics to an adult really irks me, in kind of the same way this blatent goatse.cx troll probably irks you.

Now, mind you, this post isn't entirely a normal troll. I do actually feel this case is a horrible infringement on our rights. However, it does kind of remind me of this. Ye olde gaping anus is sometimes a better metaphor for current events than people give it credit for. I mean, it's a guy bending over and spreading open his anus to an almost impossible width. Wow! Who would've thought such a thing was possible! And everytime you click this link, you are forced to stare into the external redness that is this great man's humongous anus. Kind of reminds me of life, it does... But I digress. This guy getting busted for selling adult comics to an adult really irks me, in kind of the same way this blatent goatse.cx troll probably irks you.

Now, mind you, this post isn't entirely a normal troll. I do actually feel this case is a horrible infringement on our rights. However, it does kind of remind me of this. Ye olde gaping anus is sometimes a better metaphor for current events than people give it credit for. I mean, it's a guy bending over and spreading open his anus to an almost impossible width. Wow! Who would've thought such a thing was possible! And everytime you click this link, you are forced to stare into the external redness that is this great man's humongous anus. Kind of reminds me of life, it does... But I digress. This guy getting busted for selling adult comics to an adult really irks me, in kind of the same way this blatent goatse.cx troll probably irks you.

Now, mind you, this post isn't entirely a normal troll. I do actually feel this case is a horrible infringement on our rights. However, it does kind of remind me of this. Ye olde gaping anus is sometimes a better metaphor for current events than people give it credit for. I mean, it's a guy bending over and spreading open his anus to an almost impossible width. Wow! Who would've thought such a thing was possible! And everytime you click this link, you are forced to stare into the external redness that is this great man's humongous anus. Kind of reminds me of life, it does... But I digress. This guy getting busted for selling adult comics to an adult really irks me, in kind of the same way this blatent goatse.cx troll probably irks you.

Now, mind you, this post isn't entirely a normal troll. I do actually feel this case is a horrible infringement on our rights. However, it does kind of remind me of this. Ye olde gaping anus is sometimes a better metaphor for current events than people give it credit for. I mean, it's a guy bending over and spreading open his anus to an almost impossible width. Wow! Who would've thought such a thing was possible! And everytime you click this link, you are forced to stare into the external redness that is this great man's humongous anus. Kind of reminds me of life, it does... But I digress. This guy getting busted for selling adult comics to an adult really irks me, in kind of the same way this blatent goatse.cx troll probably irks you.

Use a big sign with a picture of this.

http://www.sco.com/company/feedback/index.html visit their webpage and tell them were they can stick their license fees.

(Yes, it's the ASCII version and not the normal nastiness...link courtesy of Wikipedia.)

Have A Nice Day.

Have A Nice Day.

Have A Nice Day.

Better ask this guy...

Here is Mr. Goatse!

This is what happens when your fibre gets bent...

I think we should ask Bruce Perens

It's goatse .

they should stop sniffing stuff they think is just "salt"

anyways....Here's my payment. (warning for those under 18...don't click it....though if someone says "don't", they'll most likely will do it).

I've got your $699 right here

Next time, post a ninja-link to goatse.cx -- at least some guy's bloody asshole is less disgusting that watching b-flack and j-lo trying to act!

"Have you ever caught them all?"

Ahh, yes. With the exception that none of them would be screaming "goatsex! goatsex! goatsex!"..

Or we'd hope at least.

CLICK here!!!










[nytimes.com][nytimes.com][nytimes.com][nytimes.co m][nytimes.com][nytimes.com][nytimes.com][nytimes. com][nytimes.com]
[nytimes.com][nytimes.com][nytimes.com][nytimes.co m][nytimes.com][nytimes.com][nytimes.com][nytimes. com][nytimes.com]

Those t-shirts are okay, but I won't be buying any of them. I'd certainly buy a product, that kicked a little bit back to Slashdot, if said product was decent. I'd much rather buy some of the cool-as-hell t-shirts from T-Shirt Hell, especially the more offensive ones. I love my School Shootings Tour shirt.

Maybe I'll get something from Stile, or, I've heard there's official Goatse merchandise on the way... Wow, a legitimate link to Goatse, who saw that one coming?

Go ahead.

goatse.cx goatse.cx goatse.cx lol lol lolololzllolol olo o okolkoairogapeoir

I do not drink alcohol either. I prefer to experience life without being under the influence of chemicals, because chemicals suck ass. So believe me, you aren't alone on this one.

Microsoft Windows XP Edition(TM), the newest product from Microsoft(TM), offers a variety of robust features. You'll wonder how you ever got along without them! For starters, Microsoft Windows XP Edition(TM) is exactly the windowless garbage you've always made it out to be! But that's not all! Microsoft Windows XP Edition(TM) also has windows all over the place! With Microsoft Windows XP Edition(TM), you never know what the hell you're doing because of all of the damn windows everywhere! ...well, at least it's better than Linux, fags.

I'm wary of fags like you trying to slip your penis inbetween my legs, into a hole like this one right here.

FOXY! :-)~

Posted from the nero-online.org Troll Library

Following my work researching The Linux Gay Conspiracy, I am saddened to announced that I have discovered yet another orgy of perverted heterophobic values. My claim lies with the Slashdot mangement.

First, what kind of name is Slashdot? This is obviously a code word in the homosexual community for something perverted.
Slashdot is an anagram of LAD SHOTS, which refers to Slashdot's pedophile agenda and T ASS HOLD, which refers to some gay sexual posistion that Michael and CmdrTaco enjoy.

The 'editors' of Slashdot, as they call themselves, are homosexual swingers with cleverly disguised nicknames.

CmdrTaco (aka "Rob" Malda) is the "head" honcho of Slashdot. Cmdr obviously refers to his desire to dominate over his gay partners, and Taco is obviously a sly reference to his colon. Update: It is well known that Taco claims to be married to Kate Fent. No one really believes that 'she' is actually his wife. We have proof that this 'she' is actually a he. It turns out that Kathleen Fent is an anagram of KHAN FELT EN ET. So this Kate of his is really Khan who "felt in it". I will not describe what that means as I am sure you can imagine yourself.Update From AC: Kate Fent = FAT TEEN, K.

Michael Sims, who goes as 'michael' on Slashdot, is a well known thug and advancer of homosexual agenda. His name is an anagram of ASS CHIME MIL which obviously refers to his desire to flaunt his lower organ.Update: It turns out that Michael Sims is also an anagram of ASS LICE, HMM, I?. That is so sick that words cannot describe the horror.

Father Randy "Pudge" O'Day is Slashdot's Mac propagandist. Macintosh computers are well known as the Gay computer due to their homosexual colors and stylings. An email exchange between 'Pudge' and Apple HQ have been leaked by a former Apple employee who converted to heterosexuality. These two emails (here and here) have been repeatedly posted on Slashdot, but are quickly censored by Slashdot moderators who do not want the public to know about its agenda.Update form Subject Line Troll - it appears the O'Day is just a few letter changes away from I'm Gay and rhymes with O'Day. Is anyone surprised that Mr. Pudge is a fudge packing Mac hippie?

Simoniker, a recent addition to Slashdot has been uncovered as Mr. Goatse himself. Simoniker is a frequent poster to the Games section of Slashdot, obviously because he enjoies modded versions of Quake 3 and UT2K3 as a homosexual warrior who likes to 'overcome' his opponents with his exagerated sized love member. In addition, Simoniker is an anagram of KEN I RIM SO (Ken is probably his current boyfriend) and MEN I IRK SO (which refers to his frustratingly troubled gay relationships, probably due to his rather large asshole).Update from AC: I'M ON ERIK'S... "Eriks what? We can only imagine" -AC.

CowboyNeal. How could I forget him? CowboyNeal is Slashdot's Poll Editor. His rampant homosexuality is obvious. "Cowboy Kneel" is what his name actually means. His odd sexuality needs no further explanation.

Please reply with additional information, contributions, and corrections. I will include any additional information and credit you with it in my further releases of this report.

Posted from the nero-online.org Troll Library

Following my work researching The Linux Gay Conspiracy, I am saddened to announced that I have discovered yet another orgy of perverted heterophobic values. My claim lies with the Slashdot mangement.

First, what kind of name is Slashdot? This is obviously a code word in the homosexual community for something perverted.
Slashdot is an anagram of LAD SHOTS, which refers to Slashdot's pedophile agenda and T ASS HOLD, which refers to some gay sexual posistion that Michael and CmdrTaco enjoy.

The 'editors' of Slashdot, as they call themselves, are homosexual swingers with cleverly disguised nicknames.

CmdrTaco (aka "Rob" Malda) is the "head" honcho of Slashdot. Cmdr obviously refers to his desire to dominate over his gay partners, and Taco is obviously a sly reference to his colon. Update: It is well known that Taco claims to be married to Kate Fent. No one really believes that 'she' is actually his wife. We have proof that this 'she' is actually a he. It turns out that Kathleen Fent is an anagram of KHAN FELT EN ET. So this Kate of his is really Khan who "felt in it". I will not describe what that means as I am sure you can imagine yourself.Update From AC: Kate Fent = FAT TEEN, K.

Michael Sims, who goes as 'michael' on Slashdot, is a well known thug and advancer of homosexual agenda. His name is an anagram of ASS CHIME MIL which obviously refers to his desire to flaunt his lower organ.Update: It turns out that Michael Sims is also an anagram of ASS LICE, HMM, I?. That is so sick that words cannot describe the horror.

Father Randy "Pudge" O'Day is Slashdot's Mac propagandist. Macintosh computers are well known as the Gay computer due to their homosexual colors and stylings. An email exchange between 'Pudge' and Apple HQ have been leaked by a former Apple employee who converted to heterosexuality. These two emails (here and here) have been repeatedly posted on Slashdot, but are quickly censored by Slashdot moderators who do not want the public to know about its agenda.Update form Subject Line Troll - it appears the O'Day is just a few letter changes away from I'm Gay and rhymes with O'Day. Is anyone surprised that Mr. Pudge is a fudge packing Mac hippie?

Simoniker, a recent addition to Slashdot has been uncovered as Mr. Goatse himself. Simoniker is a frequent poster to the Games section of Slashdot, obviously because he enjoies modded versions of Quake 3 and UT2K3 as a homosexual warrior who likes to 'overcome' his opponents with his exagerated sized love member. In addition, Simoniker is an anagram of KEN I RIM SO (Ken is probably his current boyfriend) and MEN I IRK SO (which refers to his frustratingly troubled gay relationships, probably due to his rather large asshole).Update from AC: I'M ON ERIK'S... "Eriks what? We can only imagine" -AC.

CowboyNeal. How could I forget him? CowboyNeal is Slashdot's Poll Editor. His rampant homosexuality is obvious. "Cowboy Kneel" is what his name actually means. His odd sexuality needs no further explanation.

Please reply with additional information, contributions, and corrections. I will include any additional information and credit you with it in my further releases of this report.

No, it has nothing to do with Microsoft. I just thought the mental image would be amusing. Sorry it didn't tickle you pink.

Maybe this picture of (what may be) Steve Ballmer will entertain you more.

Oh, wait, just clicked it in the preview. It appears that they've replaced the goatse picture with a teletubbie orgy.

First Post!

Action: Read Security Bulletin MS03-026 and Install the Security Patch Immediately
Microsoft urges users of Microsoft Windows NT 4.0, Windows 2000, Windows XP, and Windows Server 2003 to install this critical security patch immediately.

Or else...!

...and will it help this guy?

I thought this was the winning entry..!!

- Assembler, with cycle counting and all that gnarly stuff.

- C, with emphasis on pointers and structures.

If you don't agree with me, then go stuff yourself sideways up the wazoo of a 3GHz P4 and stop running any OS - because that is what it is written in.

July 30, 2003, 11:55 pm, Caesar's Palace, Las Vegas. In a mock trial convened before U.S. Circuit Court Judge Philip M. Pro, the Hacker Court's jury accepted the proposition that the virtual items destroyed during the hack of an online video game constituted real loss. The jury hung on the question of whether a certain 'Weasel' actually conspired with a certain 'Terron' to hack into a game server and destroy items, so no verdict was reached. However, the value of the potential loss of the hack was not in dispute. A subsequent poll revealed that the overwhelming majority of the 200-strong audience of computer and networking specialists (drawn from the Black Hat conference of cybersecurity professionals) agreed with the jury's opinion regarding the existence of real value in the case. Defense counsel Jennifer Granick mounted a strong counter-argument, namely that we might, as a society, decide that it is just too difficult to classify game-related damages as real, just as we shy away from taking cases of lost sexual favors to court, even though there clearly are damages. This powerful argument suggests that losses in something we agree to call a "game" should also be free from legal oversight, even though, in fact, the distinction between game and life is arbitrary. In the end, jury and audience disagreed with this cultural stratagem, preferring instead Prosecutor Richard Salgado's argument that human activity in the allegedly virtual space is not virtual at all. It is real activity and haggles real values and thus, in principle, it deserves the full attention of policy and law.

Notes

July 28, 2003

I. Virtual worlds face court test

The Black Hat Conference of cybersecurity professionals sponsors Hacker Court, an annual mock trial. This year's moot tries the case of United States v. J.B. Weasel. Weasel is alleged to have orchestrated a hack of a game server to steal items from an enemy and reset his character to level 1. If loss of items and levels exceeds $5,000 in value, the hack constitutes a felony under Title 18 Sec. 1030 of the U.S. Code. Yours truly will testify to valuation issues. Of counsel: Richard Salgado of the Department of Justice (United States) and Jennifer Granick of Stanford Law (Weasel). Presiding: Chief U. S. District Court Judge Philip M. Pro.

Time: Wednesday, July 30 2003, 4:45 PM
Place: Caesar's Palace, Las Vegas

To me, this feels like the kind of thing people may be mentioning in footnotes 100 years from now. Results will be posted here.

II. American Economic Review makes the news

Unlike its cousins Nature, Science, and the New England Journal of Medicine, the grand poobah of economics journals, the American Economic Review, rarely sees the light of day in mainstream media. In fact, I can't remember any instance of an economics journal being mentioned in public discourse. But no more! An otherwise innocent reporter for National Public Radio asked me how economists are responding to my work, and I said that the AER had been a recent rejection. Well, he went and called the editor, David Card of UC Berkeley. The resulting interview aired Saturday morning; you can listen via web if you're really that bored. Most interesting to me was the justification Professor Card gave for the rejection. From the transcript:

"It's [the virtual world] not really much different, and it has all the same problems that we have, trying to infer anything much about the behavior we see in, you know, New York."

In other words, virtual worlds are just like our world, so, there's nothing particularly interesting about them. Unless they feature nubile anime dickgirls- then they'd be of interest to one Rob "cmdr taco" Malda. On the other hand, the reasoning given in the rejection letter from AER was that virtual worlds aren't "real" so who cares. /em looks confused.

Let's have some sympathy for the system, though. After all, people like Professor Card are ask

When you have a crime to investigate, and you have no suspects, where do you start? Obviously you begin by looking at the person or persons who have the most to gain by perpetrating the crime.

This is why we must consider: who had something to gain from the disasterous crimes of September 11th? Obviously not Osama Bin Laden, who would net no financial windfall from the destruction of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Although he has loudly applauded the "terrorist" acts of September 11th and even tacitly taken credit for them, there is no reason to believe that he is anything more than a bandwagon jumper. Being blamed for the destruction of the World Trade Center has done more for his image than any amount of militant Islamic rhetoric.

But if not Bin Laden, then who?

It so happens that on December 11th, "coincidentally" 2 months after the tragedy, Credit Suisse First Boston quietly agreed to pay out US$100 million in order to settle an 18 month old investigation into its handling of certain high-profile technology IPOs (Initial Public Offerings). One of the most controversial amongst these being the IPO of VA Linux Systems, Inc. (LNUX) .

VA Linux Systems, Inc., now known as VA Software, is widely derided as a poster child of the dot-com bust, though inexplicably still in business. At the time of the IPO, VA Linux (Software) shares opened trading at nearly 10 times their $30 offer price, closing the first day of trading at $239.25. This meteoric rise made many early investors rich, strangely on account of a company which purports to sell a hobbyist operating system which can be obtained for free on the Internet. "The VA Linux initial public offering is a prime example of market manipulation in an IPO by investment banks, their customers and the issuing firm," said Steven Schulman, a partner in the law firm Milberg Weiss Bershad Hynes & Lerach, which specializes in filing shareholder suits.

"Because certain favored customers of the investment banks agreed to buy shares in a new issue at inflated prices in the aftermarket (in return for getting an allocation of the shares at the initial offering price) the share prices to which the IPO eventually soared were actually driven by artificial market forces," continues Schulman.

But what does the VA Software (Linux) IPO have to do with the attacks on September 11th, and what has that to do with the Credit Suisse settlement? Well, considering that VA Linux (Software) got CSFB into trouble in the first place, it stands to reason that the VA Linux (Software) Board of Directors were complicit in the stock fraud from beginning to end. As the investigation progressed against CSFB, the unscrupulous VA Software/Linux executives, their pockets bulging with filthy lucre plundered from trusting, hard-working investors, must have realized that their days in the country club were numbered if the SEC discovered their wrongdoings.

The SEC, or Securities Exchange Commission, is a federal regulatory agency, and cannot be bribed. Therefore, with a possible stint in federal prison looming large, Larry Augustin and the rest of the crooks, including outspoken gun violence advocate Eric S. Raymond, decided to undertake more active means to halt the investigation.

The Plan

It so happened that all the evidence in the CSFB/

I thought this was the winning entry!