Slashdot Mirror

obligatory

http://www.theonion.com/video/youtube-contest-challenges-users-to-make-a-good-vi,14288/

Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television

Yeah, the Onion wrote about FourSquare, not Twitter.

Exactly. Like this guy.

Your "Piano Hero" is a much better idea than Sousaphone Hero idea.

Or French horn hero.

Your "Piano Hero" is a much better idea than Sousaphone Hero idea.

According to The Onion BP hasn't just caused an oil spill...

Reminds me of the Onion article, Black Guy Asks Nation For Change

reminds me of the onion

And this "matters" to us "nerds" how? WTF is up with slashdot lately?

Reminds me of this: http://www.theonion.com/video/breaking-news-some-bullshit-happening-somewhere,16928/

Jonathan Green, is that you?

Make something innovative enough, Apple will co-opt it (cut-paste, tethering) and forget what they said previously about it and then delete your app from the store.

I found this article hilarious over a decade ago. Now it's kind of sad how Apple is treating innovative third party developers on the iDevices. Think outside the box, but not too far outside the box!

Yup slashdot's crack editors simply pressed the submit button without even clicking through the links.

It's from a fake news site that is the same but far less funny than the Onion...

Why dont I see coverage of this geek story on slashdot?

It's going to change the internet as we know it.

So either I have to use Red Bull's oddball sugar-enriched BS for a charge (which I'll probably build up a tolerance to), or seek out alternatives like - METH (it's what's for breakfast! Yummy mmmmmeth!).

Otherwise known as 'Adderall,' yes, it is what's for breakfast.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/email-from-aunt-accidentally-opened,2391/

Just another tool in the annoyance arsenal. If Splice was about software it'd probably be about a product like this.

.

Don't forget to teach Intelligent Falling while we're at it!

If you think that'll work, you might want a look at this...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/entire-facebook-staff-laughs-as-man-tightens-priva,17508/

...we're going to FIVE G!

http://www.theonion.com/articles/fuck-everything-were-doing-five-blades,11056/

Uh oh. We better jump from our Mach 3G Turbo straight to 5G!! That's right, I said 5G!!

Oh, yeah!? Well, once I dreamed that I was playing World of World of Warcraft (don't ask me why I dreamed this game existed, or why I wanted to play it). In the game in my dream, my avatar's character had just gotten to level 80, so I decided to have my avatar shut off his computer and take a well-deserved nap, when he fell asleep he started dreaming of playing World of World of Warcraft... Then my alarm went off. I woke up, walked over to my computer, uninstalled WoW, deleted my entire Blizzard directory, and two days later, when I was canceling my subscription, I actually really woke up. I still play WoW today, but only because I'm convinced I'll be really waking up at any second.

Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fucking vanguard of quantum transistors in this country. The University of New South Wales' Centre for Quantum Computer Technology (CQCT) Mach7 was the quantum transistor to own. Then the other guy came out with a seven-atom transistor. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because we hit back with a little thing called the Mach7Turbo. That's seven atoms and an aloe strip. For moisture. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I'm telling you what happened--the bastards went to six atoms. Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling seven atoms and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fuck it. We're doing 5 atoms!

I think that the Supreme Court may have something to say about that.

The whole idea of "if you don't want it public, don't put it on the internet" always reminds me of this Onion video:

Google Opt Out Feature Lets Users Protect Privacy By Moving To Remote Village
http://www.theonion.com/video/google-opt-out-feature-lets-users-protect-privacy,14358/

There's no reason that we can't have a reasonable expectation of privacy, even in our online lives. Especially from a technical standpoint. If I share some photos with 10 people, and one of those people decides to copy that photo into an email and send it off to 100 people, then that's a social failure, not a technical one. People I trusted betrayed my trust, on a social level.

But on a technical level, I should be able to share videos or photos or journal posts with a small group of trusted people, and be reasonably secure in the idea that only they will see them. That advertisers won't have access to that photo, that an api won't be able to pull the data without permission, etc. There's nothing extraordinary about that requirement, and that it's treated as absurd and unreasonable shows how far we've fallen from a basic perspective on internet privacy.

Open source can fill the gap. Our incentive, as open source software developers, is to provide the best software possible, and to not skimp on important features like privacy and security. We aren't trying to cater to advertisers, or to build empires based on fads and hype. I've been working on an open source, distributed social networking alternative to Facebook (and Myspace and other "walled gardens") that called Appleseed that focuses on strong privacy.

http://opensource.appleseedproject.org/

But most of all, by distributing these services, and allowing users to cancel their profile on one site, sign up for another site, and plug right back into the network they lost, it creates a level of competition so that social networking sites *have* to listen to the concerns of their users. They can't take them for granted. Not just in social networking, if we can continue push for open standards, open protocols, open platforms, etc., it means we have some leverage when a popular service decides to privilege it's revenue stream over the privacy of it's users.

Oh christ, you again?

I generally look at hard news sites, or customizable sites that consolidate news of interest to me (NYT, BBC, Google News).

All of which cover American Idol in depth. So you go to web sites that cover TV. If I remember to check, I'll go there the night of the finale (or day after) and see if there's any coverage on the front page. But it's hard to take your arguments seriously when you claim insane things like the BBC doesn't cover TV shows.

I mentioned my experience and then wrote about how other people might have different experiences if they had lifestyles more similar to yours.

Yeah, you state I'm bringing up strawman or reading more into your statements that you put there, but you continue with the condescending "lifestyles like yours" tone. I live a lifestyle not different from yours. Assume that and treat me like an equal, and you might actually understand what the other person is saying.

If timeliness wasn't important, why is there such an aversion to tape delayed sports? If "news doesn't cover TV" then why did I hear from many different places that the ending of the Sopranos was objectionable, even though I never saw a single show of it and never once sought out any news on any TV show ever? News covers TV all the time, even NYT and BBC. And people like to experience it before they are told the ending, and just recording a series, then watching it all later can result in spoilers being inadvertently discovered. Apparently this doesn't apply to you because you somehow read news from outlets that cover TV under the mistaken impression that they don't cover TV.

Now I know you are above such considerations, but can you honestly not even imagine whether a fan of football recording the Super Bowl without regard to its air date and just selecting it from a stored menu choice a week or two later? Note, I'm not saying your solution is good or bad for you. You shared it like it was good or bad in general, and in general, I think people would reject it. This isn't about what you make up then attack about how you think I live my life. This is about whether the media consumption plan you asserted would be considered acceptable by even a large minority of people. I assert not. But then, you come across more like http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-constantly-mentioning-he-doesnt-own-a-tel,429/ than a regular person, with your apparent public and proud objection to what you assume everyone else does.

I got a dejavu of the macbook wheel vid: http://www.theonion.com/video/apple-introduces-revolutionary-new-laptop-with-no,14299/

This one's a bit dated. But perhaps it explains why Spirt gave up

http://www.theonion.com/articles/mars-rover-beginning-to-hate-mars,2072/

Or alternately, one step closer to this scenario.

I'd tell you to be careful opting out of Google, but you're probably in a place where you can't read this reply anyhow.

We need a new enviromental protection agency to protect us from the enviroment.

EPA: Stubborn Environment Refusing To Meet Civilization Halfway/a/

Obligatory Onion reference to the parent post.

Every single Radio Shack had a tube tester up until the mid- to late 80's, and a few into the 90's.

Yes, well, Radio Shack is a somewhat special case.

Let me guess: cosmic ray. Is it really that hard? What else causes a single bit-flip error in space?

Incredibly annoying alien hackers?

That's what I heard, and through a very reliable source

From The Onion.

What part of the fucking First Amendment don't you understand, motherfucker?

http://www.theonion.com/articles/nations-experts-give-up,682/

When China does it, the world protests. all the space junk created. However, when the US does it, it's to save other satellites.

The US did it before China and people were very critical:

The official explanation – that the US wanted to prevent the toxic contents of the spacecraft's fuel tank from hitting the ground – seems a bit thin, according to James Lewis, director of the technology and public policy program at the Center for Strategic and International Studies. Thus critics from around the world have speculated about ulterior motives, ranging from a desire to test US ballistic missile defenses to poking China in the eye.

It's a sort of anti-satellite arms race and status thing between two super power. Or in playground terms, the two assholes are having a dick measuring contest.

http://www.theonion.com/video/sony-releases-new-stupid-piece-of-shit-that-doesnt,14309/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/jupiters-liberals-worried-about-their-ammonia-foot,17419/

Like this game?

http://www.theonion.com/video/are-violent-video-games-adequately-preparing-child,14314/

For those of you too lazy to type that extra "o".

For those of you to lazy to copy and paste.

I personally think he should be forced to read this several times in a sitting.

And then yeah. He needs to be put out to pasture. And so do most of his patsies and corrupt hangers-on that make up the majority of Wikipedia's "administrator" clique while we're at it. Wikipedia has gotten to the point where so many article spaces are completely worthless because they're controlled not by sensible people wanting to write a real encyclopedia, but by organized game-players who rig the system.

See a review of the previous experiments in this burgeoning field here. I can't believe more research hasn't been done on these kinds of possible accidents. I mean, how many people have to be stabbed before we sit up and demand that experiments are done to find out what happens to people when they're stabbed?

That's odd. I tried making porn and ended up downloading The Onion http://www.theonion.com/

What the hell? Come on aliens! Seriously? America has twice the crazies suitable for testing and ... probing. Russia is so 18th and 19th century. I promise you that for at least the next decade, Americans are the ones you want to abduct.

Mr. President there must not be an alien abduction gap! I propose we take our most popular specimens like Tom Cruise, Ke$ha, Will Smith and Robert Downey Jr. and chain them down in a random field for sampling by aliens.

If it ever cuts loose there will be an epic flood. Did the Beaver Inspectors ever get a look at it? After all Size isn't everything. How many logs went into that thing anyway? Was it checked for strength, flexibility under loads, ability to hold back before gushing? This could be pretty important for anyone below it. Canada's National Honour could be at stake!

I'm sure the beavers appreciate your input. Let me assure you, extensive thought goes into dam design.

I see your XKCD and raise you an onion
http://www.theonion.com/articles/mars-rover-beginning-to-hate-mars,2072/

I was going to try and write a funny post here about taking revenge against your coworkers, but the Onion did such a better job:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/disgruntled-ninja-silently-kills-12-coworkers,1575/