Slashdot Mirror

> From 3 to 4 blades? Come on! http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930
> 4 blades? That's for pussies: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930 (AC)

Get back to editing! We pay you to post STORY dupes not COMMENT dupes!

4 blades? That's for pussies: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930

From 3 to 4 blades? Come on!

We could just throw money into a giant hole.

Easy there, don't get manic about it. Sounds like you need some PharmAmorin.

As for your question, there's always Despondex for those abnormal people who are too upbeat and happy to be suffering from a disorder.

For everyone else, there's always Zoloft for everything or perhaps you need some Placebo, now available in liquid form.

Easy there, don't get manic about it. Sounds like you need some PharmAmorin.

As for your question, there's always Despondex for those abnormal people who are too upbeat and happy to be suffering from a disorder.

For everyone else, there's always Zoloft for everything or perhaps you need some Placebo, now available in liquid form.

Easy there, don't get manic about it. Sounds like you need some PharmAmorin.

As for your question, there's always Despondex for those abnormal people who are too upbeat and happy to be suffering from a disorder.

For everyone else, there's always Zoloft for everything or perhaps you need some Placebo, now available in liquid form.

Easy there, don't get manic about it. Sounds like you need some PharmAmorin.

As for your question, there's always Despondex for those abnormal people who are too upbeat and happy to be suffering from a disorder.

For everyone else, there's always Zoloft for everything or perhaps you need some Placebo, now available in liquid form.

This is a shame, as I was really anticipating the upcoming release of the PsyBook Wheel

Well then you're simply not willing to do the necessary work to understand people's references

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27665

I'm telling you, if the movie-going public doesn't start falling in line and paying to watch movies like they're supposed to, there's no telling what may happen.

It seems he got a damn fast judgement. And a damn fast judgement done by a private company.

Does anyone remember 'Judge Dredd'? 'I am the law!!!'

I do remember Judge Dredd and the Supreme Court of the United States of America does too--it was totally badass!

Gah. People who ask "does it work with AdBlock?" in every single thread about any browser other than Firefox (and asking rhetorically, rather than doing two seconds of research and posting an honest "Hey, I checked, and it doesn't work with AdBlock") are getting to be just like area men who constantly mention that they don't own televisions.

Area resident Jonathan Green does not own a television, a fact he repeatedly points out to friends, family, and coworkers... According to Melinda Elkins, a coworker of Green's at The Frame Job, a Chapel Hill picture-frame shop, Green steers the conversation toward television whenever possible, just so he can mention not owning one.
 
Elkins said Green always makes sure to read the copies of Entertainment Weekly and People lying around the shop's break room, "just so he can point out all the stars and shows he's never heard of."
 
"Last week, in one of the magazines, there was a picture of Calista Flockhart," Elkins said, "and Jonathan announced, 'I have absolutely no idea who this woman is. Calista who? Am I supposed to have heard of her? I'm sorry, but I haven't.'"

FFS, AdBlock is not the only solution to annoying ads. I spend 99% of my time in Safari on OS X because I like it a whole lot more than Firefox (for various reasons I won't bother going into here) and the combination of a custom /etc/hosts file and a flash blocker (can't find it right now... one was released, then discontinued, and now there's another, I forget the name, but I've got it at home; only works in 10.5; there seem to be several non-free solutions) make the Web pretty tolerable. (Plus that particular /etc/hosts file blocks many spyware and malware sites, so it's great to have on Windows--security in layers, and all that--and it works for all browsers on the system, with no additional configuration needed at all .)

That said, as excited as I was when Chrome came out, the fact that Safari got pretty good, pretty fast (version 4) makes me not even worry that Chrome may never make it to the Mac. Every once in a while, competition really works. :-)

Are you this guy?

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/apple_introduces_revolutionary

This pattern, the so-called Axis of Evil, just shouldn't be there. Now an independent researcher from Canada says the pattern may be caused by the boundary between the Solar System and interstellar space[...]

Well, at least Bush now has a good excuse for thinking there were WMD in Iraq. Maybe that Onion parody of him finding an error in Fermi calculations wasn't so far-fetched!

Crap. Just when I get used to having to work an extra fourth dimensional shift, now I have to pick up work on a 5th dimension?

When will I sleep?

With Google Sherpa they could map the moon!

The CEO of the studio that released "The Pink Panther 2" is in no position to lecture anyone about a sense of entitlement. The Onion's commentary on this is barely even satire at this point:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/vindictive_movie_studio_threatens

Clearly this is a product of Western materialism. However, Al Gore will stop at nothing to demonstrate our danger:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/al_gore_caught_warming_globe_to

Everyone who thinks the latest Star Trek movie isn't "good Star Trek" should see The Onion news report, "Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'".
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/trekkies_bash_new_star_trek_film
It is a great movie. I hope J.J. Abrahms produces and directs many more Star Trek movies.

No, I think he talked to these people.

Was it these people? http://www.theonion.com/content/video/trekkies_bash_new_star_trek_film

Behold!

Look, I mean this in the most positive possible way, but you're the one the onion was talking about.

The Onion News Network has an informative brief piece on this entitled Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'.

The point of icons and menus is so that you don't need to know cryptic keyboard commands. If the preferred solution to the updated icon system is to use the keyboard, they've failed. If the system is so changed that experienced Office users can't find the things they always did in the old version and there is no simple help for "how do I do x", they've failed. (It took me 30 minutes to just see the macro ribbon in Excel the first time. Now I just use Alt-F11 if it's not on the system I'm using.)
Or to put it another way: The Ribbon system reminds me of the MacBook Wheel - everything you want to do is just a few hundred clicks away.

The controller has already been released!

Using myself as an example I don't watch TV.

Good for you!

Dunno, but the reverse has apparently already happened.

It might have four buttons but its impossible to use them. Do you have one? I had to take my wife's back and get a logitech laser mouse.

This new Apple product has a whole keyboard in one wheel. I can't wait to get one.

AOL based their entire business on local dial up and they had no plan for transitioning to broadband. Any fool can see that in 2009 and their valuation at the time of the merger looks silly in hindsight.

Dude, I know hindsight is 20/20, but everyone except Time Warner executives knew the merger was a bad idea back in 2000. Another person above posted this article from The Onion from back then.

I remember every single person I knew going, "what the fuck?" when we heard of the merger. It was 2000! I was wasn't exactly living in an urban metropolis, but I already had had access to broadband for over a year. Everyone knew AOL was going to crumble and quick.

AOL Acquires Time Warner in Largest Ever Expenditure of Pretend Internet Money

they paid with AOL disks?

Obligatory, classic Onion story.

For completeness: Ted Turner Sends Self Back In Time To Prevent AOL Time Warner Merger

AOL Acquires Time Warner in Largest Ever Expenditure of Pretend Internet Money

What's next, a seven-bladed razor?

Maybe you should suggest that to this guy.

Life already decided to imitate the Onion: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Fusion-Manual-Razor-Gillette/dp/B000GE5712 (for what it's worth, it's actually a good razor)

What's next, a seven-bladed razor?

Maybe you should suggest that to this guy.

Maybe, this time, we will make it to the moon!

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/94463

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nasa_embarks_on_epic_delay

That's what NASA does.

Extra large cups won't help. You've got some pretty tough competition in the form of this guy.

Like "World of World of Warcraft"! http://www.theonion.com/content/video/warcraft_sequel_lets_gamers_play

The timing leaves the country safe for this new game:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/hot_new_video_game_consists

Exactly...

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/ninja_parade_slips_through_town

I'll just leave this here.

How about this one?

Even if his body dies, he will still live on...

...in his Robotic ExoSkeleton.

"one official" -- makes the following sound like an "official" statement without anyone putting their name on the line. Who is the official?

And yet the headline seems to imply Obama's being tough on government abuses. If I were more cynical, I'd say this whole NSA smackdown is a sacrificial lamb to show he's "pro-civil liberties" after all, even though his administration recently won the warrantless wiretap case.

Again, if I were cynical, I'd also say the media is eating it up. (on a related note)

What, does this mean that he isn't the Messiah after all? As usual, the Onion gets it right: The Media having trouble finding Right Angle on Obama's Double-Homicide