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WoW is redundant http://www.theonion.com/content/video/warcraft_sequel_lets_gamers_play

Too late, the elections are already decided http://www.theonion.com/content/video/diebold_accidentally_leaks

those who remember are the reason "Bozo" got into office

Oh yes, I for one was deeply ashamed of America's prosperity in the 1990s.

Didn't Stephen Hawking do this like 10 years ago?

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39133

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39133

I think you missed the relevant citation:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39133

Pfsssh. Stephen Hawking was first.

Here's a picture of the new prototype they are working on with a top British scientist.

as netherlands...

Looks like a case for the "Dutch Anti-Defamation League"

http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/dutch_anti_defamation_league

Even better explained here.

The trouble is that people who follow satire know more about the news than people who read the actual news. So eventually we'll all be reading UnNews and fake news sites!

In response to your sig (in case you haven't seen it yet...)

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/michael_phelps_returns_to_his_tank

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/diebold_accidentally_leaks

Old, but appropriate.

Oh, yes, the wikipedia should give the same preference to Iraq news over the Olympics that is demonstrated by such responsible, independent organizations like Uncyclopedia or The Onion.

What? Me worry?

Related article: Even CEO Can't Figure Out How RadioShack Still In Business

Has Maury Markowitz shown up to tell us how bad we are for wanting to steal music and about how artists will starve without the RIAA?

Here's a link to Courtney Love's rant that i posted yesterday in the Electra v Barker thread:
http://archive.salon.com/tech/feature/2000/06/14/love/index.html

One bit worth noting is that of the 30,000 albums released in a year, only about 30 go platinum (1 million?). To me that suggests that there are many talented artists who just haven't been blessed by the powers that be. Some of those 30 platinum albums might have utterly flopped without massive marketing campaigns.

In other news, Jared Leto's band sold 2 million copies of its album and received nothing for it:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7569924.stm

i can't vouch for it being literally nothing, but 2M sales should net them something.

As i said yesterday, data (and anything that can be converted to data) is worthless. Finite Demand/Virtually Infinite Supply = $0.00 Value. Sell something that is finite, like t-shirts and tickets to shows.

While we're at it, stop forcing artists to make albums. Release a few singles with B-sides (another obsolete idea, but that's what we call them), then once in while bundle them and call it an album. There is no reason to require a band to record 3 singles and 8 tracks of crap no one wants to hear. If the artists wants to do some kind of conceptual album like Santana's Supernatural of Floyd's "The Wall", so be it. But there is no *real* need to record an hour of music when all you have is 3 singles. Abandoning the album requirement will take pressure off the artists. Release something when it is ready. Think of all the studio time wasted on one hit wonders. For the listener, it means buying only what you want instead of the other stuff. Win/Win!

This is one area of life where letting the market decide might be the right thing to do. Get the RIAA out of the picture. Let artists retain the copyright of their own work (novel idea, huh?). Treat the cost of recording as part of the advertising budget. Let file sharing be your marketing campaign. Let servers be your warehouse. If you're worth a shit, your next show will be sold out and angsty teens will be buying your shirt at hot topic.

btw: piracy is armed robbery on a boat. Pirates often killed people. Napster and Torrent haven't, AFAIK. Well, aside from Kid Rock:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28467

This Onion link gets posted all the time, but every time I read it I laugh: Area Man Constantly Mentioning He Doesn't Own A Television

""I'm not going to lie: I used to smoke crack in there," said one homeless woman, Veronyka Cordner, nodding toward the toilet behind Pike Place Market. "But I won't even go inside that thing now. It's disgusting.""

I don't know why, but that reminded me of this old gem.

But how will artists make a living if everyone is stealing music?!?! Have we learned nothing from the death of Kid Rock?

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28467

How about if they make drives with very thin platters,

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930

Make the blades so thin they're invisible. Put some on the handle. I don't care if they have to cram the fifth blade in perpendicular to the other four, just do it!

I was going to do a full rewrite of the article, but you can do it yourself by mentally substituting "hard drive" or "platter" for "blade," "razor," or "shave"

What, was there an earthquake?

Another situation that was used to look at air quality, though not many tried to tie it to climate change immediately: the widespread power outage in the US & Canada a few years ago: http://pubs.acs.org/cen/news/8225/8225blackout.html (Chemical and Engineering News) Note: I can't find the article in Science about this ... maybe someone else can.

The short: the air cleared very quickly of many pollutants, allowing scientists to refine their models on both time and distance these are in the air.

Using Beijing as another example will help these kinds of models, but reporting on "results" now looks more like an article in the Onion http://www.theonion.com/content/video/diebold_accidentally_leaks than a real story.

In other news, last year's Super Bowl was actually two guys playing Madden '08.

There's been some caution of traveling to China and I think this entire CGI replacement of the first few days of the Olympics is just the beginning. The real fireworks were a real live dragon burning the invaders in their seats.

Diebold has already accidentally leaked the results:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/diebold_accidentally_leaks

Didn't you hear? He's busy sending his son into space.

"An Internet worm that disabled networks across the U.S. Monday and Tuesday temporarily thrust the nation into its most severe maelstrom of productivity since 1992."

Nationwide work startages, it'd be chaos!

iphones and all apple products are for arrogant, self important douchebags

Haha. Everyone knows that blackberry users are #1 when it comes to douchebaggery.

and who the hell knows why all the major news networks feel the need to report on it.

Because it's a slow news day, journalists are very lazy and like when a prepackaged story drops into their lap, and journalists also get free iphones from uncle Steve.

But seriously, blackberries are better by far.

Toyota's got a lot of catching up to do - the Segway has already taken the world by storm.

I can hardly remember life before the Segway.

It's more common than you'd think. For example, it is a little known fact that Ms Spears is an expert in semiconductor physics. And the president himself knows a few things about high energy physics.

I think maybe he's this guy.

How fortunate that a potentially major scientific discovery happens on President Bush's watch. His keen intellect, intense curiousity of the natural world, and scientific rationality has been such a boon to our country and indeed our world.

I know you're joking, but Bush did find an error in some Fermilab calculations a while back. Don't underestimate him.

Why? Where?

If they, when they turn it on, create anything that can at least significantly damage The WorldTM - unless you have a personal space faring escape pod LHC is going to get you.

I hereby copyright "1110100100101000."...

Sorry, but Bill beat you to it: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29130

I can't wait until they come out with the wii game where you play a drinking game where you drink if your character in the game your character is playing for drinks....erm.

Just like been there... World of World of Warcraft!

I can't wait until they come out with the wii game where you play a drinking game where you drink if your character in the game your character is playing for drinks....erm.

Just like been there... World of World of Warcraft!

Just like been there... World of World of Warcraft! Best regards

Also, don't get me wrong, I would love it more people rode bikes to work. That would free up the free ways so I could get to work in less than an hour.

You're not alone! A recent study by the American Public Transportation Association found that 98 percent of Americans support the use of mass transit by others.

I can't wait until they come out with the wii game where you play a drinking game where you drink if your character in the game your character is playing for drinks....erm.

Just like been there... World of World of Warcraft!

Coke-Sponsored Rover Finds Evidence Of Dasani On Mars http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30505 Is it scary, that, upon reading this article, all I could think of was this Onion article, published in 2004?

Coke-Sponsored Rover Finds Evidence Of Dasani On Mars

March 24, 2004 | Issue 40â12

PASADENA, CAâ"The Coca-Cola-sponsored Real Rover has discovered evidence that the surface of Mars was once partially covered by free-flowing Dasani, scientists at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced Monday.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30505

--philo

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784

But what I really think we should be asking ourselves is, is the government spying on paranoid schizophrenics enough?

Sorry, I know it's a bit off-topic. But your post reminded me of this issue.

They appear to be doing something similar to what they did with Iron Man. There were many skeptics but it turned out well.

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/wildly_popular_iron_man_trailer

but this exploit still probably won't help sean penn...

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/44460

In related news...

Rep. Boehner [R-OH] says there's no 'wildlife' in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge

White House buries climate change deaths report

Klingon Speakers Now Outnumber Navajo Speakers

you guys don't know the half of it...
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39133

Anger powered car.

Approaching $2/gal four years ago. Amazing.

-Peter

Just a link to shed light on Intelligent Falling.

It clearly separates you from the sheeple and establish your dominance over the herd. It establishes that you're a go-getter, instead of one of those hippies with an iphone.

And everyone knows, blackberries make assholes more versatile.

You will have top be innovative, and work on studies like this

/No HTML skillz.