Slashdot Mirror

While it is fantastic that Denmark are investing so much in renewable energy, how long will we have to wait until other countries get the hint?

In this article from New Scientist, it is revealed that the US, Japan, Australia and OPEC "vigorously opposed" any increase in the target proportion of renewable energy. Currently , the proportion of energy that comes from renewable sources is roughly 2%.

So whilst it's great that Denmark are seemingly leading the way, it needs the large industrialised countries to develop a sense of morals and stop thinking of the bottom line..

I think The Onion hit the nail on the head with this article.

WASHINGTON, DC--Citing the hot weather and a desire to go home for the day, FDA officials approved American Products Limited's "X-Ray Vision Pills" for commercial sale in the U.S. Monday. "After evaluating this and regulating that for months, we were really dying to cut out early, so we were all just like, 'Fuck it. Let's just approve this,'" FDA deputy commissioner Lester Crawford said. "Besides, nobody could think of a real good reason why X-ray-vision pills would be unsafe."

Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?

Need we say more? See for yourself... There's already only 7 of these corporate giants

Could you transmit broadcast-quality full-motion video live from an Amiga?

Even the Apple II was capable of being connected to a VCR and recording both video and audio; as was the original Nintendo. If that was all it takes to be broadcast-worthy, then this article never would have been made.
--
Your favorite band sucks.

Shooting yourself in the foot all the time will only drive away those casual fans, and hence revenue.

Actually, retaining fan loyalty is one of the demands of the strike.

(From this week's The Onion)

The True Story of the Moronic Spaceship

Sorry, it's already been done :-), by Microsoft, of course.

Sorry, Microsoft is way ahead of you on that one... "Microsoft Patents Ones, Zeroes"

Nation's Economic Recovery Hinging On Success Of Diet Vanilla Coke

WASHINGTON, DCAs the nation struggles through a recession, economy watchers are pinning their hopes for recovery on the soon-to-be-launched Diet Vanilla Coke. Diet Vanilla Coke, to be introduced this fall, is our last, best chance at turning this thing around, Fed chief Alan Greenspan said. We had hoped that Pepsi Blue or Dr. Pepper Red Fusion would stem the tide, but consumers have not responded in sufficient numbers. If Diet Vanilla Coke fails to jumpstart the economy, experts say the U.S. is doomed.

You are probably referring to: The Onion's article to that affect...

sure impressed

• wait and calm down
• when you post
• so people don't
• point
• and laugh
• at you

when you go on a ridiculous rant about keyboards

• lay out

(C)opyright The Onion, 2002

There, do you feel better now?

At least the Onion had intended the humor...

Starbucks Begins 'Phase Two'

Hey, terrorists don't want to wait around some crappy airport listening to Muzac versions of Queen's Greatest Hits any more than you do.

I suspect this thing will have a huge churn rate. 90% of the users will drop out within a month. Remember the last time Lucas overestimated the fanaticism of his fans? 80 Billion Tons of Jar Jar Merchandise now 70% Off.

With a movie-inspired game, everybody wants to go to the places from the movie. That's going to be a problem for an MMORPG. Sure, you can have a huge number of instances of the universe (shards), but then, what's the point of having a big shared online universe? Either the world is mostly empty, the world doesn't let you go where you want to, or there are lines like Disneyland on a bad day.

I'm actually going to agree that someone up top must have had it in for the show. I never really watched it... but I do watch the NFL religiously every Sunday. I noticed that on the few occasions FOX didn't show a 4:30 game (usually when opposite my Dolphins), Futurama would come on at 7pm or so. I watched it a couple of times, and enjoyed it. The Simpsons is dreadfully awful now, but Futurama is sort of like Buck Rogers meets The Simpsons (when they were funny). It rocks.

And now it's been canceled; it's simply unbelievable. I don't even watch the news anymore, the only time I plug in my TV is during the football season. And finally, someone comes up with a show I'd actually watch... and they decide to put it in the timeslot from hell before canning it?

Horribly frustrating. I used to wonder how these fringe wackos got along without one, but now I'm starting to envy them.

Just handle it the same way Starbucks did. Issue a short press release.

Starbucks has completed the coffee-distribution and location establishment phase of its operation, and is now ready to move into Phase Two. We have enjoyed furnishing you with coffee-related beverages and are excited about the important role you play in our future plans. Please pardon the inconvenience while we fortify the second wave of our corporate strategy.

... and what we need to do is publicise the dangers of internet music piracy, as in this article.

(The Onion has had some very, uh, informative stories on this issue. They're well worth reading, and passing on to friends.)

Here it is:

http://www.theonion.com/onion3011/cola.html

As a side note, a little guy like myself (135lbs) can't handle anything bigger than a small these days. I usualy order the "kiddie" meal whereever I go. I sort of sucks to not be a lard ass in america, because the sizes of drinks and meals here were made for those people in excess of 300 lbs I think.

Unfortunately this rend has only one plausible outcome and it is inconvenient..

...there's always this.

What an excellent Onion reference. That article is ancient. I remember seeing that shortly after the Internet boom started.

Sad to see life imitate spoof!

Too bad that this exemplary support of that excellent spoof will never see the light of day because of the we-todd-it mods.

Nepotism has a new name: Slashdot

I think the funniest thing about the Onion article is the assertion that a 30-liter Coke would weigh 274 pounds. Or maybe the container itself is supposed to weigh 208 lbs.

How did this get by the /. editors.

Get past them? They chose it! This is the kind of crap they like to read, bucko. This had better be the kind of crap you like to read, too, if you're going to keep reading this site. If it's not, you should just go find a site where the editors aren't a bunch of fucking morons. You know, sites with a real focus on accuracy and editing, like daily rotten, The NY Times, or The Onion.

There's a big difference between focusing attention to send a message and getting somebody to look somewhere and close a window. I don't think most advertisers online are smart enough to be able to know the difference.

I think NON-INTRUSIVE interactive content in ads is going to be the savior of online advertising in the future, and I think pop-ups have decimated what could have been (in my opinion anyway).

it would be very cool to have the note cards mentioned linked with the digital archive. it's a shame that the possibilities of the web are being sacrificed to selfish concerns. i imagine that the new tenth circle to hell will house hillary and her friends. rot baby!

The South shall rise again!

Yeah. Right.

Right.

as this article clearly points out, the organization required to set up a decent orgy often winds up being not worth the effort of even trying.

Are you going retro Tony? Nothing's more frightening than a German with nostalgia.

(NB: I'm Irish-American, naturlich)

I recommend the Onion's "Ask ..." columns.

And on a related note Slashdot poster continuously notes that he doesn't own a televison.

Whaddaya know. Herbert Kornfeld is alive.

One solution to this problem is to get your domain name and create a secret "catch all" email account. Then use a different email address for EVERY web account or mailing list. For example, someone might use cmdrtaco-slashdot@slashdot.org for Slashdot, cmdrtaco-amazon@slashdot.org for Amazon orders, and cmdrtaco-anime@slashdot.org for an anime mailing list.

If you later receive spam for penis enlargers at cmdrtaco-amazon@slashdot.org, then you know that Amazon sold your email address to the powerful penis-enlargement lobby. You can then choose to stop using Amazon or choose a new Amazon email address, while creating an email rule to automatically kill email to your old cmdrtaco-amazon@slashdot.org email address.

I believe this article on the penis enlargment lobby is relevant.

Perhaps this might change your mind about the Penis Enlargement Companies.

There's an informative piece about spam in this week's Onion: http://www.theonion.com/onion3825/anti-spam_legisl ation.html

The thing about companies like microsoft, is that they have this evaluation thing with their software. They get a bunch of joe blow users to check it out and see if they can pick it up really quick. Then they make adjustments to the UI according to the way these people pick this crap up or bitch about it. They also hire people that make the design decisions from a joe user standpoint. If the linux community really wants linux to thrive as a desktop OS (it would be nice due to the support form other vendors that it would bring, but I could really care less at this point) we will need to implement something similar. Get some joe idiots (joe is a good first name for this example :) to sit down and point out the things that they don't like and either fix it, or create a new desktop that is for the true computer idiot. we need feedback from even the lowest of morons because windows can easily be used by one of them. Unless you are her.

this will happen about the same time the MBA selects Dr. Hawking as a star player.

MBA? What is that? Someone with a Master's degree in Business Administration? Wacky.

Oh, maybe you meant NBA, the National Basketball's Association. In that case, your presumption isn't too far fetched. Dr. Hawking already has a powered exoskeleton he can use to fight crime AND play basketball. So I guess those ATI drivers are just around the corner!

Anti-Spam Legislation Opposed By Powerful Penis Enlargement Industry

Perhaps you meant N BA? I'd imagine Hawking is smart enough to take some MIS classes at Wharton...

Although, with his new exoskeleton, I'd think Hawking could take anybody on a little pick-n'-roll...

This story

Tom

Anti-Spam Legislation Opposed By Powerful Penis-Enlargement Lobby

Classic, classic onion.