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Mega-ISP Update: Layoffs At AOL, Voices At MSN

rfc1394 writes: "There are two articles, the first article, in today's Washington Post, mentioned that AOL, having successfully digested Time Warner, is producing results of that digestion by additionally extruding almost 1,000 people in layoffs due to an anemic advertising market and a need to meet projected revenue goals of about $40 billion. A separate Post article mentions how Microsoft's online service MSN is having a woman named Shelley Reynolds create a series of spoken identifiers for its online service similar to AOL's famous 'You've got mail!' and identifies El Edwards as the man who is the voice behind the phrase. The second article also tells about the effect of sound on people with respect to technology, and the payments involved (Edwards reportedly got about $100; Reynolds will receive something under six figures.)"

186 comments

  1. New AOL Spoken Identifier by ackthpt · · Score: 2, Funny

    "You've got pink slip!"

    --

    A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
  2. Re:Audio decibel? by LedZeplin · · Score: 1

    I'd call that a rock.

    But what would you think the diffrence between a rock and a stone is?

    and what about pebbles?

    It's funny I looked up the definitions of all these 2 weeks ago.

  3. She's so easy no wonder she's number one! by arielb · · Score: 1

    "You've got goats(parental control feature turned on)!"

    --
    ---
  4. VA Linux going down soon. by SpanishInquisition · · Score: 0, Funny

    Repeat after me : "Want fries with that?"

    --
    Je t'aime Stéphanie
    1. Re:VA Linux going down soon. by trollercoaster · · Score: 0, Insightful

      Right this very minute, I am having this etched into aluminum and coated with high-polymer plastic, 1,000 times over, and buried in 1,000 time capsules across the world. A few copies are being jetisoned into space. I'm also jetisoning all over your mom's face, but that is a different matter alltogether.

      Here is my ass
      Which you may kiss.
      Take time and aim well
      You don't want to miss.

      For if you aim low
      And your lips they do fall
      Then you will find
      You'll be sucking my balls.

      If you aim high
      Despite your true heart
      Sucks to be you
      Now you're eating my fart.

      --

      Slashdot, come for the goatse, stay for the trolls.

  5. revenue != profits by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0



    that was the key here Einstein

    its ok your a geek not a buisness major so you are forgiven just don't run a dotcom for a few years please.

  6. Re:Only in Bill Gates world by generic-man · · Score: 1

    RTFA. She's getting a big contract for reading over 10,000 names as well as standard greeting phrases.

    if (not $article_read) {
    post($stupid_pseudocode);
    bash(qw(Micro$oft Microshaft Microsquish Microhard Microsuck M$ MS Billy-Boy BillG));
    karma += 3;
    }

    --
    For more information, click here.
  7. Theses companies are sickening by ioman1 · · Score: 2

    It is a sick world when companies layoff people like they are a social security number and not a person. Consumers are the very people we employ. When you layoff your employees, you lose them as a consumer as well. The economy crashes because of these companies. How do you expect people to spend more when you are laying them off. Do the math.

    1. Re:Theses companies are sickening by cb0y · · Score: 1

      1. they make/sell drugs or warez

  8. Re:Poor guy... by DNS-and-BIND · · Score: 1
    Reminds me of a story...(/me leans back, opens a Shiner Bock longneck, stares into space with a dreamy look in his eyes)

    Back in the early-to-mid-90's, I lived the slacker life in Austin (I realize nowadays, Austin is too hip to be hip anymore, which is one of the reasons it's been overpopulated by refugees from San Francisco, and is also is one of the reasons I left, but I digress). One of my best friends was a diligent worker at Ruby's BBQ, a local barbeque joint with one location and no plans for expansion. At the time, the place was located adjacent to Antone's blues club (the blues club has since relocated to downtown, and Antone has since relocated to federal prison) and Ruby's BBQ was open until 3am on weekends. This, combined with the Texas liquor laws requiring bars to close at 2am, led to a lot of business for Ruby's, and a lot of Antones' drunken patrons vomiting up a lot of perfectly good beef brisket and sausage. Now, my good friend (I'll call him Scott) had the good/mis-fortune of working at Ruby's almost every Friday and Saturday night (bad because he didn't get off until late, and good because after he got off, he usually stayed up until dawn drinking out of Rubys' beer cooler). Well anyway, one night while ol' Scott was working the late-night shift, this young feller walks in, drunk off his ass. He's waiting in line, joking with his friends, and doing absolutely spectacular impressions of Beavis and Butthead, and Anderson (don't forget the time period this is taking place in). I mean, not only are the voices spot-on, but the observations being made in character are absolutely uproarious. This fellow gets to the head of the line, proceeds to order a combo sandwich in Anderson's voice, and moves off to wait for his order to be fulfilled. Upon speaking with the other members of his party, this fellow turns out to be a personage no less than Mike Judge himself. He eventually receives his order, goes to his table, and proceeds to regale his companions with hilarious (to the sober) impressions of the decor at Ruby's, the food at Ruby's, and the overpriced, talentless acts booked by Antone, all in the voices of the characters of America's best-loved cartoon show (Power Puff Girls were still several years away).

    Well, that's pretty much the whole story. Sorry I'm not like the classic Deep South narrator (well thish-yer Smiley)...maybe you had to be there to appreciate it.

    --
    Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
  9. Layoffs = increasing revenue? by mgkimsal2 · · Score: 2

    extruding almost 1,000 people in layoffs due to an anemic advertising market and a need to meet projected revenue goals of about $40 billion

    Does getting rid of workers increase *revenue*?

    1. Re:Layoffs = increasing revenue? by bluephone · · Score: 1

      Someone screwed up. They're firing to increase PROFITS, not revenue. CNN had this a day or so ago. LEss payroll = more profit.

      --
      jX [ Make everything as simple as possible, but no simpler. - Einstein ]
    2. Re:Layoffs = increasing revenue? by rhadamanthus · · Score: 1
      and even better, this came after AOL denied the "rumor" that layoffs were coming.

      that story is at the register.

      ----rhad

      --
      Slashdot needs to interview Natalie Portman.
    3. Re:Layoffs = increasing revenue? by DNS-and-BIND · · Score: 1
      clueless user URL is obsolete...use this one instead.

      Stupid NY Daily News, changing their MS ASP's around like that.

      --
      Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
    4. Re:Layoffs = increasing revenue? by DNS-and-BIND · · Score: 2, Interesting
      Actually, AOL does lose a lot of users. They have to constantly replace them with new users (here, have a free AOL CD!) Then, as soon as the new users become disgusted with the service and leave, the next wave of dangerously clueless users comes in.

      --
      Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
    5. Re:Layoffs = increasing revenue? by Monkeyman334 · · Score: 2

      Yes, they first thought they could get more revenue from dropping marketing. But when that failed, they needed to lay off more people.

    6. Re:Layoffs = increasing revenue? by Pinchy · · Score: 2, Interesting
      Less employees means less payroll and benefits to pay out, which means more cash you get to keep for yourself. So how do you make up for the lost manhours:

      • Make your remaining employees work harder to pick up the slack. You may have to pay a little more in overtime, but it is cheaper than paying a full salary and benefits.
      • Find cheaper labor to do the same job. There are a couple of options here. Some states sell their prisoners on the free market (a lot of airlines use this route). States with tough welfare laws often require people on the dole to work at minimum wage jobs or lose all their benefits. Or you could try another country, preferably one with a represive government and lots of hungry people (I think Phil Knight has a list of them).
      • Don't replace the lost manhours, just cut back on the quality of service. Most people who use AOL aren't going to leave no matter how bad it gets.
    7. Re:Layoffs = increasing revenue? by rocca · · Score: 1

      Don't worry, some of us understand your statement. For the rest of you, revenue != profit. Laying people off doesn't increase *revenue*, all it can do is reduce *expenses*. Well, unless your sales force is so bad that they are pissing off customers and by having less sales people you piss off less, but I doubt that is the strategy.

    8. Re:Layoffs = increasing revenue? by why-is-it · · Score: 1

      Does getting rid of workers increase *revenue*?

      Obviously not. But their stock price probably went up when news of the layoffs hit the streets.

      --
      *** Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket?
    9. Re:Layoffs = increasing revenue? by Rimbo · · Score: 2

      Yeah, I was wondering about that myself, but this is the way corporate heads think. "We need more money!" "Damn -- slash the production forces!" "Sir! We're using less money now, but we won't hit our sales targets!" "Slash one-third of the workforce!" "Sir! Our production is a lot less!" "The firings will continue until production improves!"

      Well, it depends on the company, really. If they all thought this way, none of them would succeed.

    10. Re:Layoffs = increasing revenue? by pogofish · · Score: 1

      Does getting rid of workers increase *revenue*?

      "I won't buy your product 'til you fire that Bill Gates guy."

      Yeah, I can see it.

      --

      A man without a God is like a fish without a bicycle.
    11. Re:Layoffs = increasing revenue? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Does getting rid of workers increase *revenue*?

      No, but it decreases costs.

  10. voices by pogofish · · Score: 2, Funny

    We can send emails with MPEG attachments to the sys admins of the sites brought to their knees by /. links.

    "You've been slashdotted."

    --

    A man without a God is like a fish without a bicycle.
    1. Re:voices by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Use OGG. Or do you not support open source?

    2. Re:voices by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      A man without a God is like a fish without a bicycle.

      are you saying athiests are lower life forms?

    3. Re:voices by dillon_rinker · · Score: 0, Offtopic

      A man without a God is like a fish without a bicycle.

      Yup...unable to comprehend its purpose. Insufficiently evolved to take advantage of it. Inherently inferior to beings capable of using it. Eventually trapped and devoured by the bicycle-riders.

      A fish WITH a bicycle, on the other hand, would be a thing to behold.

    4. Re:voices by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      Hopefully, she'd be unable to afford clothes.

    5. Re:voices by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      You damn Open Source thieves should buy your CD's and quit putting these poor artists out of business. Where would your Britney Spears be if everyone copied digital media like you advocate?

  11. Even juggernauts bleed. by pjbass · · Score: 1

    This should make everyone in little businesses getting raped by the market feel a bit better, seeing that massive corporations can't even hide from the recession.

  12. Re:Audio decibel? by abischof · · Score: 2

    Err, "boulder". (doh!)

    FWIW, I find the definition of boulder to be quite interesting: "A large rounded mass of rock lying on the surface of the ground or embedded in the soil". Why not just say "a large rounded mass of rock", and leave it at that?

    --

    Alex Bischoff
    HTML/CSS coder for hire

  13. Another breakup by ahde · · Score: 2

    after another hundred year government-enforced monopoly

  14. a different interpretation by mckwant · · Score: 2, Interesting

    This assumes, of course, that all the stockholders (in aggregate) care about is the results in the current quarter.

    The dotbomb's stock prices were based largely upon speculation. You can't tell me that, a dotcom with P/E ratios in the thousands had stock prices based on the latest quarter's earnings. In these cases, during the "boom," shareholders (again in aggregate) were willing to forego current income in exchange for potential future market dominance.

    It's a double-edged sword. If you have a killer plan, but can't get anything going in the near term, why should I invest my money with you? Similarly, if you've got your current market covered, but have no plans for growth in the future, why should anyone new invest?

    In the latter case, what happens when your current market disappears (and it will)? You've got no company, and my stock is worth zilch.

    A viable company has to have both a current value proposition, and a speculative function operating simultaneously, and the market will reward both.

    --
    ceci n'est pas un sig.
    1. Re:a different interpretation by jmauro · · Score: 1

      Except the market doesn't reward the companies with long term plans at all. They only judge a company based on its last quarter and its next quarter. Anything else is irrevelent.

    2. Re:a different interpretation by mckwant · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Well, I believe you're wrong. Admittedly, future plans can't be valued $1=$1 with current earnings, but initial investors in, say, Amazon, accepted losses with good humor, expecting that the first to market advantage would eventually lead to a preferred market position.

      After three years, and no real signs of profitability, I'd suggest that many people viewed it as a failure of execution, and pulled out on that basis. The dotbombs, for the most part, had nothing BUT long term plans, and couldn't make their short-term goals work out. Hence, they got punished. Hard.

      One analysis is that the quarterly earnings aren't pulled out of the sky, but are, in fact, negotiated with the analysts over time. You can reposition those numbers as you need to (earnings warnings, etc.), and so long as a company isn't delivering any surprises, they should be OK. The problem lies when the market is surprised by a number, it tends to overreact.

      --
      ceci n'est pas un sig.
  15. Shelley Reynolds by bluephone · · Score: 1

    Her name sounds EXTREMELY familiar, but I can't place it, and IMDB has nothing, just a Shelly Reynolds, which isn't her. Anybody know WHY her name sounds familiar? Or other work she's done?

    --
    jX [ Make everything as simple as possible, but no simpler. - Einstein ]
    1. Re:Shelley Reynolds by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Get that bitch from Weakest link instead.
      You have mail, now Goodbye!
      That would get real tired real fast

    2. Re:Shelley Reynolds by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      It wouldn't be the woman's voice that does all the telephone messages would it? "doo doo doo. I'm sorry, you must first dial a 1". :-) I think they should've gotten Majel Barrett to do it instead. On the positive side, I hope they don't use the terrible phrase "You've got mail". PLEASE have the decency to at least use "You have mail". Everytime I hear that "You've got mail" line I cringe.

    3. Re:Shelley Reynolds by Jay+L · · Score: 1

      I seem to recall that that woman's name is Wanda or Wilma, according to some folks from Aspect, who make (made?) call-processing equipment.

      I'm not sure if that refers to the original woman who recorded it, or the woman that you hear everywhere now, at just about any bank and many other call centers..

  16. Re:Six Figures!?!?!?!?! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    You know, technically, Edwards received "something under six figures" as well.

  17. Re:What a character by arielb · · Score: 1

    "You've got Paula Jones!"

    --
    ---
  18. Re:Audio decibel? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    That would be called a "meteor".

  19. El Edwards: You've Got Payments! by swschrad · · Score: 3, Informative

    Edwards got $100 initially, and the WAVs sounded like they were recorded on an old Magnecord PT6 reel recorder. the original WAVs had some component of a whistle up to speed leading them all, indicating they started the tape and pointed a cue, instead of rolling tape continuously, cueing the announcements, and putting nonmagnetic leader tape in between for cleaner digitization. so when AOL 3.0 came out, they rehired Edwards to reprise the tags, and he got considerably more... I have heard something in the $25,000 range. they also got the whistles out.

    --
    if this is supposed to be a new economy, how come they still want my old fashioned money?
    1. Re:El Edwards: You've Got Payments! by Jay+L · · Score: 1

      I seriously doubt a reel-to-reel was used, as I don't recall anyone owning one - though it's possible El did the recordings at his day job, Channel 50 in Fairfax.

      The sounds were digitized using a Farallon MacRecorder and SoundEdit, probably by Eric McCormick, who was a developer by day and musician by night. The IM sound is Eric's Korg M1.

      Jay Levitt
      Chief Architect, Mail Systems
      AOL

  20. El Edwards by acm · · Score: 4, Interesting

    "Who could have foreseen something like this happening," said Elwood Edwards. "Years ago my wife worked at AOL and asked me to record the greetings for the company. Now, as I think about the millions of AOL members who consider me as the 'mailman' of cyberspace, I'm amazed. I'm pleased that I've had a small part in making the computer world smaller and more personable."

    Edwards has recently started his own business doing voice-overs for commercial and business broadcasts, radio and television. More information about Elwood Edwards and his voice-over services can be found at his Website:

    http://members.aol.com/voicepro.

    1. Re:El Edwards by Luminous · · Score: 2

      I bet AOL would pay handsomely to NOT have El do certain voiceovers . . . say be the voice over for an Earthlink commercial. "You've got great value with Earthlink."

      --
      This is not the way to build a lasting empire.
  21. Finally AOL dose something intelligent by xtink · · Score: 1

    They must have fired there top managers if they raise $40 billion by laying of only 1000 people that means that each now if we could only get other company's to follow suite

    --
    I've never noticed it before but my thinking cap does sort of resemble a hockey helmet
    1. Re:Finally AOL dose something intelligent by rfc1394 · · Score: 1
      xtink says,
      They must have fired there top managers if they raise $40 billion by laying of only 1000 people that means that each now if we could only get other company's to follow suite
      This is an additional approximately 1,000 layoffs on top of what was cut at Netscape, among others.
      --
      The lessons of history teach us - if they teach us anything - that nobody learns the lessons that history teaches us.
  22. Re:Hmmm. by earlytime · · Score: 2
    i would bet money that edwards was some AOL employee with a "radio voice" who had options back when AOL was at $15, and before all the stock splits.

    I think he's got the last laugh...
    "You've got rich!" ;-)
    -earl

    --

  23. Re:Six Figures!?!?!?!?! by Nater · · Score: 2

    Orangejello (pronounced "orahn-jzello" -- I SWEAR this is REAL!!)

    Did you know he's actually a twin? The other one is Lemonjello (le-MAHN-zhe-low).

    --

    I like to play children's songs in minor keys.
    "We're all sons of bitches now." --J. Robert Oppenheimer

  24. A voice for f1rst p0st by Bender+Unit+22 · · Score: 1

    What we need is a voice that can say f1rst p0st for those comments, when you view the them
    Then again, my soundcard cannot handle more that 64 samples at once...

  25. Re:Six Figures!?!?!?!?! by generic-man · · Score: 4, Informative

    At $100 for his services, Mr. Edwards received $14 and change per word for "You've Got Mail," "Welcome," "Goodbye," and "File's done." This woman is not only saying "Good morning," "Good afternoon," "Good evening," and "Goodbye," she's also going to address people by NAME. According to the article, she's reading over 10,000 names, including alternate pronunciations. That's at least 10,007 words. $14 x 10,007 is over $100,000 already.

    MSN is getting a bargain.

    --
    For more information, click here.
  26. Didn't AOL used to be an ISP? by Polytarp · · Score: 1

    I maybe that I am stating the obvious, but this shows just how little AOL cares about people. I guess I should expect this, because they are a company, and therefore strive be as profitable as possible.

    Since AOL Time Warner now owns Time magazine, I have already cancelled my subscription, and very clearly stated that I was doing it because of their monopolistic practices.

  27. Luddites at MS? by Snar+Bloot · · Score: 1

    So the new voice of Microsoft is going to be somebody who says "I'm a total Luddite?" Hmmmm.

    1. Re:Luddites at MS? by unitron · · Score: 2

      Now you see who they've been aiming their software at for so long.

      --

      I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

  28. Some Needed Msft spoken phrases by ch-chuck · · Score: 5, Funny

    They also need to come up with some soothing, high positive energy Aquarius phrases for the following:

    "This application has performed an illegal operation and will be shutdown"

    "Please wait"

    "Would you like to reboot now?"

    "We are going to MSN today"

    "I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that".

    --
    try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
    1. Re:Some Needed Msft spoken phrases by odaiwai · · Score: 1

      As someone called Dave, I get nervous when my computer tells me it can't do things. Like opening pod bay doors, ya know.

      dave "daisy, daisy"

  29. voices by avijlevin · · Score: 1

    Isn't the "you've got mail" voice from xbiff++, before AOL existed?

  30. Re:I want the voice of SAL from 2010. by Chris+Parrinello · · Score: 1

    Just watch a lot of episodes of Murphy Brown...

  31. Easier solution by MobyDisk · · Score: 3, Funny

    Why pay someone 5+ figures for their voice when you can just copy any voice? I guess these Microsoft guys really don't read slashdot enough

    http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=01/07/31/1333 25 3&mode=thread

  32. Re:Hmmm. by jlitvin · · Score: 1

    It's El, not Ed.

  33. Re:Only in Bill Gates world by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    The guy that does most of the big movie preview voice-over's sometimes commands $1 million per movie preview voice-over, I think. Voice-over work is nothing new for making big bucks.

  34. Re:Other Famous Computer Voice by dickDragon · · Score: 1

    And Deborah Pratt (Donald P. Bellasario's wife) was the voic of Ziggy on Quantum Leap (in later episodes).

  35. El Edwards by tbmaddux · · Score: 2, Informative

    El Edwards has a website with more of his voice work. Not surprisingly, it's an AOL member page. I listened to his demo briefly and I could swear I heard a faint tinge of desparation in his voice.

    --
    Can't you see that everyone is buying station wagons?
  36. Re:Spoken identifiers by Tackhead · · Score: 2
    > MSN- "You've got mail, are you sure you want to read it?"
    >USER- *click yes*
    >MSN- "Are you sure?"
    >USER- *click yes again*
    >MSN- "You must reboot"

    Unless, of course, it contains a .vbs attachment, in which case it's automatically opened with a cheery:

    "Hello! Someone send you this file to get your advice!"

  37. Re:Lawsuits... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    Gilbert Gottfried has just finished a stint as the Microsoft Paperclip! Now that's a voice I want to hear everyday!

    I've got to say if the paperclip is annoying to people.. Gilbert is the exact voice I would think of.

  38. OT Religion War.. Re:voices by netsharc · · Score: 0
    Eventually trapped and devoured by the bicycle-riders.

    Is that a subliminal way of admitting how Christian/God fanaticals are always looking to convert people of other faiths into theirs? I know a few guys who are of these sort, they yapper about how Jesus Christ is the greatest, and they question my religion. "Why do you believe in a bald meditating man?". Fuck you, religion is something personal, it can't be institutionalized. Damn, these people sin against their own parents for God's sake (oh I just said "God", does that make me a believer, I question myself), they say they've converted to Christianity and hope their parents will someday also repent from their sins. What sins? The sin of having another religion, from what I can comprend. One day I'm going to lash out against them, one day.

    Why do I believe in a bald meditating man? Why do you believe in some bearded guy who got nailed to a tree? What makes the Bible a more truthful source of information than the teachings of Buddha?

    Trust me to be trolling.

    --
    What time is it/will be over there? Check with my iPhone app!
  39. Being a sound designer... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    it's nice to see some attention being paid to sound. The most frustrating part of being a sound designer in the games industry is the lack of respect and the last minute rush. They think it's okay to spend 3 years on models and textures, but you get 3 months to do all the sounds.

  40. Re:Nutin by Supersonic+Eggplant · · Score: 0, Troll

    You've got modded down!

  41. Re:Something Missing by ethereal · · Score: 1

    I'm glad it's free, but unfortunately it didn't seem to run on Linux very well. She should consider using more of a cross-platform voice or something...

    --

    Your right to not believe: Americans United for Separation of Church and

  42. Re:Something Missing by RobYoung · · Score: 1

    MS probably already has her under a contract, kinda like how the people who voice The Simpsons aren't supposed to do their voices in public. I guess it would be a bit more difficult if it was her normal voice they were using, but i am sure she has some rules, releasing her voice to the press may be one of them.

  43. Flying Boulders by Snar+Bloot · · Score: 1

    When they're not "lying on the surface of the ground or embedded in the soil" they're ususally called "catapult missles".

  44. Re:Lawsuits... by _14k4 · · Score: 1

    Dont you mean, " You've got to be kidding"? :)

  45. Re:Something Missing by jerw134 · · Score: 1

    Download MSN Explorer. She is the voice that greets you when you log on. Good morning, good afternoon...etc. I know it's not something most of the people on this board would ever download, but if you want to hear her voice that badly, it IS free!

  46. Hmmm. by nion · · Score: 3, Funny

    (Edwards reportedly got about $100; Reynolds will receive something under six figures.)

    Ed...

    "You've got screwed!"

    --
    der dee der.
  47. Other Famous Computer Voice by msheppard · · Score: 1

    The Star Trek computer voice was done by Gene Roddenberry's (S.T. Creator) wife Majel Roddenberry... and I don't know WHAT she got paid for it.

    (She also played Lwaxana Troi in STTNG)

    --
    Krispy Cream is people
    1. Re:Other Famous Computer Voice by Hallow · · Score: 1

      Not to mention she also:

      played Lady Morella in Babylon 5.

      played a nurse in ST:TOS (nurse Chapel, who
      became a doctor in Star Trek the Movie).

      a doctor in E:FC.

      Mary Jane's Aunt Anna in the spiderman cartoons.

      Gwen Rutherford, "Lumpy"'s mom on Leave it to Beaver.

      http://us.imdb.com/Name?Barrett,+Majel

  48. Equal rights? by pjbass · · Score: 0, Flamebait



    I would think that if this were the other way around, women's rights activists would have been all over MSN. Nothing like a pack o' bitches unleashed on M$. mmmm.

    1. Re:Equal rights? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Nothing like an ignorant asshole unleashed on Slashdot.

    2. Re:Equal rights? by pjbass · · Score: 1

      Bite me you schmuck. That was supposed to be humorous. Did you check your funny bone at the gateway?

  49. Lawsuits... by _14k4 · · Score: 2, Flamebait

    I cant wait for AOL to sue Micros~1 for saying "You've got mail". They'll probably go with something like "You have a new e-mail message, but you havent properly verified your key for your installation of WindowsXP. We are notifying the proper authorities. Please call us at 1-900-444-3321."

    _14k4
    www.poorheart.com

    slashdot_at_poorheart.com

    1. Re:Lawsuits... by Vinson+Massif · · Score: 1
      Hopefully Microsoft avoids the lawsuit by using a grammatically correct phrase. The 'you've got (sic) mail' has always bugged me.

      Vinson Massif

      --
      "Remember, any tool can be the right tool." -- Red Green
    2. Re:Lawsuits... by Midnight+Thunder · · Score: 2, Funny

      They will probably use a talking paper clip - arghhh.

      --
      Jumpstart the tartan drive.
    3. Re:Lawsuits... by Reality+Master+101 · · Score: 2

      I cant wait for AOL to sue Micros~1 for saying "You've got mail".

      They already tried. They lost.

      --
      Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
    4. Re:Lawsuits... by ASMprogrammer · · Score: 1

      You've got mail.

      You've is a contraction for You have.

      Have got is perfectly acceptable.

    5. Re:Lawsuits... by unitron · · Score: 2

      You have got to be kidding.

      --

      I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

  50. Wav file installed with IIS by Stavr0 · · Score: 2, Funny

    C:\PROGRAM FILES\Internet Information Server\Media\Sounds\
    CodeRed.WAV "You've got worms!"

  51. Re:Audio decibel? by eaolson · · Score: 1
    FWIW, I find the definition of boulder to be quite interesting: "A large rounded mass of rock lying on the surface of the ground or embedded in the soil". Why not just say "a large rounded mass of rock", and leave it at that?
    Because an asteroid is not a boulder. :-)
  52. Another link by abischof · · Score: 2

    There's also this link on Yahoo News, courtesy of the world authority on layoffs ;). And of course, that has its own message boards on the subject as well.

    --

    Alex Bischoff
    HTML/CSS coder for hire

    1. Re:Another link by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      damn, he must be _awfully_ sneaky if he got /. to hand out last names ;^)

    2. Re:Another link by SamBeckett · · Score: 1

      Quit stealing my last name ALEX!!!

    3. Re:Another link by unitron · · Score: 2
      Comparing your user ID numbers, he must have gotten here a year or more ahead of you in order to steal it.

      Boy is he sneaky.

      --

      I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

  53. Only in Bill Gates world by AlgUSF · · Score: 1

    .....does a company have "under 6 figures" to give somone for saying "You got mail". Here is what microsoft should have done if they wanted to save money since AOL is pre-installed on every computer.


    ....(Their Code)
    StupidNewMailSound=new File("C:\AOHell\gotmail.wav");
    if(mail) {
    StupidNewMailMessage.play();
    }
    (More Code Goes Here)


    IANAL, but I think this would work because Microsoft will not be distributing the sound. Then microsoft would instantly have the power of the "You've Got Mail" guy.

    --


    I want my rights back. I was actually using them when our government stole them after 9/11.
    1. Re:Only in Bill Gates world by arielb · · Score: 1

      "You've got the power!"

      --
      ---
  54. Re:Well, good for AOL. by why-is-it · · Score: 2, Funny

    AOL now realizes it is becoming a monopoly in its own right, so they don't need to advertise anymore, so they don't need a marketing department, so they're laying all those guys off. Makes sense to me.

    It is more likely to be the case that they are firing their technical staff. Sales and marketing generate revenue, everyone else is overhead...

    --
    *** Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket?
  55. Re:Six Figures!?!?!?!?! by thejake316 · · Score: 1

    Alternate pronunciations, eh? How about "It's spelled 'Raymond Luxury Yacht', but it's pronounced 'Throatwobbler Mangrove.'"
    "You're a very silly man, and I'm not going to read you your email."

    --
    AC's cheerfully ignored
  56. Layoffs Surprising? I think not... by codewolf · · Score: 1, Insightful

    If a company did not lay people off after a large acquisition, it would be an atypical situation. Most acquisitions are mainly driven by the need/want of the services that the acquired company provides, redundant personnel are given their walking papers, and the combined company is seen by stockholders to be operating more efficiently. These layoffs shouldn't be a surprise at all, it's the way the business world works.

    --
    http://www.codewolf.com - Just good stuff to waste time
    1. Re:Layoffs Surprising? I think not... by ackthpt · · Score: 1

      Nothing compared to the 11,300 that Tyco is cutting. Anyone ever bother to look at what these people are amassing?

      --

      A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
  57. Something Missing by martyb · · Score: 2

    I found it odd to read an article on the internet, extolling the virtues of human voices instead of just the written word, and it contained no way to actually HEAR Shelley Reynold's voice! I mean, they could at least have provided links to somewhere on MSN's web site or even to a home page for her where people could check out her portfolio. I found myself wondering, "Just WHAT does she sound like?" but, I am NOT so interested as to sign up for MSN to find out! Can anyone provide links so we can hear what all the talk is about?

    1. Re:Something Missing by unitron · · Score: 2

      So who do we cast as the voice of Tux?

      --

      I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

    2. Re:Something Missing by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Gilbert Godfried would be perfect for tux's voice.

  58. geek voice-overs by Slomojokoko · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'll sign up for the ISP that starts geek voice-overs.

    "Dude, /var/mail/you is empty-- get some friends!"

  59. Re:possible open source impact? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    stupid troll.

  60. netscape layoffs? by jope · · Score: 1

    Jeez, how many folks are left working at Netscape?
    They had a big fat zero jobs openings posted as of today, out of the 100+ across all of AOL (excluding Time-Warner). My knee-jerk reaction is to ask what how badly this is going to muck up in-house Mozilla development.

    --
    "Merging into heavy traffic at near light speed!"
    "Our inertial mass ever increasing!"
  61. Truth in advertising by Nick+Number · · Score: 3, Funny

    AOL would offend far fewer people if they just had some honest commercials.

    --
    Promote proofreading. Don't mod up sloppy posts.
  62. Re:Ralph Wiggum by arielb · · Score: 1

    "You've got SirCam!"

    --
    ---
  63. Now remember by Foggy+Tristan · · Score: 1

    $100 is short of six figures as well.

    Seriously though, these seems like a lot of rationalization to justify pinching AOL's approach to their service. Not that AOL came up with it, but MSN seems like its trying hard to be AOL in drag.

    One more thing: wasn't the voice of the Borg female? I forget...

    --
    Beware typoes.
  64. Poor guy... by Psarchasm · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Do the voice again! Do the voice again!" - Drunken bar patron badgering El

    --
    http://windows.scares.us
    1. Re:Poor guy... by Tackhead · · Score: 2
      > "Do the voice again! Do the voice again!" - Drunken bar patron badgering El [Edwards, guy behind AOL's "You've Got Mail"

      Could be worse. Imagine what Shelly Reynolds' [gal for the new MSN voiceovers] husband has to not think of during sex.

    2. Re:Poor guy... by Rudeboy777 · · Score: 2, Funny

      "You've got nailed!"

      --

      From hell's heart I fstab at /dev/hdc

  65. Hrm... by DrkDruid · · Score: 0

    "You've got monopoly?"

  66. you forgot one by cyb3r0ptx · · Score: 1, Flamebait

    What about:
    "Error: The operation has completed successfully"

    or is that already sufficiently fscked up?

  67. Re:Okay there, Shelley. by Neon+Spiral+Injector · · Score: 1

    Was he also Peter on the (Real) Ghostbusters cartoon?

  68. priorities? by die_rollerblader · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Does it seem odd to anyone else that this article about the new voice for MSN is about three times longer than the one about the DMCA and Dimitri from the other day?

    I guess we can see where the press' priorities are.

  69. Ralph Wiggum by sys$manager · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    "And the happiest day of my life was when the doctor said I didn't have worms anymore."

  70. I want the voice of SAL from 2010. by Shivetya · · Score: 1, Offtopic

    Her I could listen to.

    Especially if she could read me my email.

    Guess I have to wait a few years.

    --
    * Winners compare their achievements to their goals, losers compare theirs to that of others.
  71. Well, good for AOL. by Mike+Schiraldi · · Score: 2

    I see it like this: with the help of the merger, AOL now realizes it is becoming a monopoly in its own right, so they don't need to advertise anymore, so they don't need a marketing department, so they're laying all those guys off. Makes sense to me.

    :)

    1. Re:Well, good for AOL. by Tazzy531 · · Score: 1

      Or the contrary...they realize that they don't need a tech dept..and fired all of them...expect more busy signals...

      --


      _______________________________
      "I'm not Conceited...I'm just a realist..."
  72. Re:Six Figures!?!?!?!?! by Christianfreak · · Score: 2

    Hey well maybe people will not use MSN because you'll have to download 10,000 2MB .wav files just so you can hear your name... then again maybe not and the hard drive people will again make a killing ... ahhhh people are sheep :)

    P.S. Before you flame the 2MB thing is a joke: although you never know with M$

  73. Astrology by ackthpt · · Score: 1
    It only worries me when people like that are in charge of something, like, advising the president of the US.

    It is still worriesome that a person who thinks that way makes 6 figures. But they had to go somewhere when Psychic Friends went bankrupt...

    --

    A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
  74. Audio decibel? by abischof · · Score: 5, Funny

    "It picks up a certain audio decibel [...]"

    What kind of non-sentence is that? Isn't that like saying that a bouler has "a certain mass kilogram"?

    --

    Alex Bischoff
    HTML/CSS coder for hire

    1. Re:Audio decibel? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      At that point, it is a "falling rock." There's a reason why you never see a sign reading "BOULDER ZONE" on the side of the road.

    2. Re:Audio decibel? by kisielk · · Score: 1

      So what happens when the boulder is neither lying on the ground nor embedded in the soil? Does it cease to be a boulder?

    3. Re:Audio decibel? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      It's funny I looked up the definitions of all these 2 weeks ago.

      That's where your life took it's turn for the worse!

    4. Re:Audio decibel? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Damn your eyes!

    5. Re:Audio decibel? by xXgeneric+nicknameXx · · Score: 0

      if a boulder rolls down a hill in the forest and knocks down a tree with no one around to hear, does it make a sound? and if it does, how many decibels would it be?

      --

      My cat's breath smells like cat food.--R. Wiggums

    6. Re:Audio decibel? by unitron · · Score: 2
      "So what happens when the boulder is neither lying on the ground nor embedded in the soil? Does it cease to be a boulder?"

      It becomes a Wile E. Coyote-seeking missle.

      --

      I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

  75. IF I EVER MEET YOU by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!!!11!

    1. Re:IF I EVER MEET YOU by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I'll slap you upside the head.

  76. Billy'sBugs(tm) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    poiNT, click "your pc/system is now infactdead with Billy'sBugs(tm) kode blew payper LieSense virus. if you wish to .continue this session, you Mu$t deposit the required bad toll. failure to complie will result in your system remaining infactdead indefiaNTly." have you seen these guise? if you do, be advised that they are considered to be alarmed & disingenuous, as their payper LieSense scam is being eXPosed for what it isN'T.

  77. MSN spoken identifiers. by Tackhead · · Score: 5, Funny
    > MSN is having a woman named Shelley Reynolds create a series of spoken identifiers for its online service similar to AOL's famous 'You've got mail!'

    AOL: "You've got mail!"

    MSN/Win9x: "You've got mail! Now go tell your friends to use MSN!.

    MSN/WinXP: "You've got mail! Click here to pay $0.35 to read the first 1024 characters..."

    1. Re:MSN spoken identifiers. by embobo · · Score: 1

      You forgot one:

      "You've got jail!"

      (Spoken when the login process initiates a routine scan of your system "to optimize performance" and it detects that your copy of MS PowerDork Professional Edition Plus Ham is unregistered.)

    2. Re:MSN spoken identifiers. by unitron · · Score: 2
      "You've got jail!"

      Actually, that's what a lot of people were hoping that the judge was going to tell Billy the G.

      --

      I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

  78. What about Road Runner/TW Any news by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    Is Timewarner roadrunner hit with this yet--I mean if they have centralized AOL support then why do they need local Time Warner. I heard a rumor that TW RoadRunner was going to be offering AOL, Juno, and Earthlink as the ISP's over their cable network as early as next month--has this been confirmed as well..

    this is why these big mergers are trouble....we will have one big isp and someday we will have to go through the entire breakup thing again. When will they learn? I guess you can't expect more from S Case and his buddies.

    ----------
    http://www.wordnature.com/ says I'm Certified "Daft"

  79. MSN Spoken Identifiers by zpengo · · Score: 5, Funny
    • "Hello! Welcome to Messin'!"
    • "You've got spam!"
    • "You've got porn!"
    • "You've got General Protection Fault!"
    • "I'm afraid I can't let you do that!"
    • "You've got pirated software! Now autodialing FBI..."
    • "Linux? That Page Cannot Be Found!"
    --


    Got Rhinos?
    1. Re:MSN Spoken Identifiers by OtakuVidiot · · Score: 0

      Some other possibilities: "You've got Linux. Click Yes to run Cancer Eradicator. You've clicked No. Running Cancer Eradicator." "I. LOVE. THIS. COMPANY. YEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "We're sorry. Slashdot.org can not be reached from your webbing area." "I've got five figures." "I'm sorry. Web pages about 'Linux' can not be found. Transferring you to www.cancer.org." "

  80. Six Figures!?!?!?!?! by jerw134 · · Score: 1

    Reynolds will receive something under six figures

    DAMN!!! I'll say whatever the hell you want me to say! Knowing Microsoft, she will probably get paid like, $100 per word. Share the wealth!

    1. Re:Six Figures!?!?!?!?! by OtakuVidiot · · Score: 0

      Hehe...

      I can't wait to hear MSN pronounce names like:

      Barlow
      Chakotay
      Jimy
      Orangejello (pronounced "orahn-jzello" -- I SWEAR this is REAL!!)

    2. Re:Six Figures!?!?!?!?! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Really? The only info I could find about Orangejello or Lemonjello is an Everything2 node which calls the whole thing an "urban legend."

  81. Okay there, Shelley. by Mike+Schiraldi · · Score: 5, Funny

    "I honestly believe I have enough positive energy ? this is totally an Aquarius-type deal ? if I record these things thinking very positively, I kind of believe metaphysically it cheers people up. They'll get a positive hit," Reynolds says.


    I think Ms. Reynolds has taken a few too many positive hits herself.

    1. Re:Okay there, Shelley. by unitron · · Score: 2
      Too bad that Lorenzo Music (Carleton, your doorman) just passed away and isn't available. He always sounded as though he'd taken a few hits.

      Probably better known to the younger of you as the voice for the cartoon character "Garfield" (the cat), a casting decision I wish they hadn't made, 'cause it ruined my memories of Carleton, and wasn't a voice with which I would have associated with Garfield before they animated him.

      --

      I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

  82. Must be inflation by sg3000 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I remember when Microsoft used to pay college professors only $200 to talk about them.

    --
    Insert simplistic political, ideological, or personal proselytization here.
  83. What about royalties? by kettch · · Score: 1

    Instead of that pittance that Reynolds will recieve, I think that she should demand that microsoft pay her like they want us to pay:

    Per seat, per month. For every copy of these messages out there, she should demand a monthly payment. Then, when M$ says, "That's absurd! It's way too much money!" Then someone else can point in the direction of their subscription based licensing proposal and laugh.

    Of course, they'd probably just fire her and get some stooge from the secretarial pool who'll work for crack. But hey, it's a funny thought.

    --
    Opportunities multiply as they are seized. --Sun-Tzu
  84. Sadly Enough... by SkippyTPE · · Score: 1


    I work for a company which has started recording precisely this sort of thing for various applications to be used as give-aways when we launch our new web site in the fall. What I discovered in preparing the script for one of these things as a general "Windows" set is that the way Windows assigns sounds is completely useless!

    What, exactly, is an "Asterisk" supposed to sound like? Is "Asterisk" a specific type of GPF I haven't discovered yet? (just when I though I'd seen every BSOD imaginable....)

  85. "making technology friendly" by andres32a · · Score: 1
    Mrs Reynolds (the voice of MSN): "I honestly believe I have enough positive energy -- this is totally an Aquarius-type deal -- if I record these things thinking very positively, I kind of believe metaphysically it cheers people up. They'll get a positive hit,"

    Gee... no wonder windows is so terrible somedays. Next time my computer crashes ill know its going throught its Taurus phase!!!!

    1. Re:"making technology friendly" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      "Like, dude, you've got somethin' in yer inbox.... , dude."

    2. Re:"making technology friendly" by arielb · · Score: 1

      "You've got new age psycho-babble!"

      --
      ---
  86. Re:i wonder......... by Tackhead · · Score: 2
    > who she had to do oral calisthenics on to get that gig.

    Probably nobody, I mean, "yuulghvv gllk mmallll" probably violates some parental control setting...

  87. Re:ISPs should stay ISPs, not 'content providers' by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    maybe you don't read enuf /. but I remember a post about content providers considering charging ISP's to allow users to access there content...

  88. More details about stock value manipulation by hillct · · Score: 2

    The earlier poster just grazed the surface of this issue. A key financial percentage that analysts like to look at is revenue or'Earnings per Employee' as an indicator of employee productivity as it reflects good management practices and corporate health.

    The issue is not how many employees are being laid off, but what services are being outsourced. Oursourcing services such as call centers and HR, as well as IT infastructure management, etc. look on paper the same as layoffs, in that such outsourcing reduces the number of 'Regular Fulltime Employees' thus improving the revenue percentage shown as Earnings per Employee. This is a common practice and we shouldn't be suprised that AOL is making use of them.

    --CTH

    --

    --Got Lists? | Top 95 Star Wars Line
  89. The screenwriters guild by ahde · · Score: 1

    must be pretty strong in redmond

  90. Spoken identifiers by canning · · Score: 5, Funny
    similar to AOL's famous 'You've got mail!'

    MSN- "You've got mail, are you sure you want to read it?"
    USER- *click yes*
    MSN- "Are you sure?"
    USER- *click yes again*
    MSN- "You must reboot"

    --
    I love the smell of Karma in the morning
  91. This is stock value manipulation by Midnight+Thunder · · Score: 3, Informative

    Its what you call stock value manipulation. Basically you fire people to make the profits seem larger and hence get high stock value. From I understand CISCO tried the same thing and it back fired on them, ie the stock value still took a hit. This is one of the problems with public companies, and probably the reason it can go bad after the IPO, since they concentrate on stock value instead of the product.

    --
    Jumpstart the tartan drive.
  92. i wonder......... by canning · · Score: 1, Troll
    who she had to do oral calisthenics on to get that gig.

    --
    I love the smell of Karma in the morning
  93. Some of those AOL jobs might have been saved by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    If AOL/TW hadn't sold WCW (World Championship Wrestling) to the WWF for the incredibly low price of ~$7.5 million.

    WCW, once worth hundreds of millions, had become a huge money pit losing nearly $80 million in 2000, so selling it was probably an easy decision for the new AOL execs. However, they took an offer from the WWF for $2.5 million up front and $5 million in ads, when they had other offers including one totally $48.3 million, with $5 million up front and $2.15 million a year for the next 20 years.

    A few million dollars make not seem like a lot compared to the $40 billion in revenues they're trying to reach, but it could potentially have saved a few jobs truly cut for financial reasons.

  94. Look at James Earl Jones... by FortKnox · · Score: 2

    Edwards reportedly got about $100; Reynolds will receive something under six figures

    James Earl Jones got $1mil (I think?) just to say "CNN" for the CNN network comercials....
    Man I wish I had a voice speaking job....

    --
    Good quote, too many chars. Seriously, the slashdot 120 char limit sucks!
    1. Re:Look at James Earl Jones... by unitron · · Score: 2

      What he said was "This....is CNN". So did Charleton Heston.

      --

      I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

  95. I dodged a bullet by SuperGrut · · Score: 1

    Last September almost a year ago, I turned down a job there. They did not pay that well for the DC area they were hoping the Stock Options would offset the salary. I took a job somewhere else and I am glad I did. I would probably be getting layed off right now.

    --
    The city is being overrun by a herd of Lucy Liu's.
  96. This isn't new... by HoldmyCauls · · Score: 2, Funny

    haven't MSN users always been hearing voices?

    --
    Emacs: for people who just never know when to :q!
    1. Re:This isn't new... by arielb · · Score: 2, Funny

      "You've got dead people!"

      --
      ---
  97. Please enlighten me by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I don't understand what's odd with that?

  98. What a character by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0


    MSN hires only the best.

  99. El Edwards got $100 for you've got mail... by Cheetah86 · · Score: 1

    ...I think he should just get $1 for each free aol trial cd. $100 can't compesate for being one of the most heard voices in America.

  100. possible open source impact? by tim_maroney · · Score: 2
    Not to indulge in rumor-mongering, just asking --

    Any idea whether this will have an effect on Mozilla or the Open Directory Project?

    Tim

  101. Ping! Ping! Ping! by Lemmy+Caution · · Score: 3, Redundant
    You've just stated the biggest problem with shareholder capitalism as it is practiced today. We are only beginning to catch the fallout from this - there will be virtually no value in making long-term strategic goals if Boards of Directors are controlled by stock holders (usually fund managers) who have no stake in what happens after the current quarter. And it all becomes a numbers game.

    During the boom, even companies that didn't want to grow (that is, wanted to build up existing markets instead of trying to rush into new ones and buy companies, etc.) were pretty much forced into it by shareholder expectations. And now shareholder expectations are working the other way - even solvent companies with working business models are compelled to cut back spending and lay people off, just because that's what "analysts" want to see.

    And it will only get worse.

  102. ISPs should stay ISPs, not 'content providers' by Ed+Avis · · Score: 2

    Hopefully this will help illustrate why half-arsed attempts by ISPs to provide 'content' to their subscribers are to be avoided. It might have looked like a good idea a couple of years ago when the advertising market was buoyant and share prices were based on - well, who knows, but having some trite 'portal' probably helped to boost them further.

    But if even specialist content companies like Salon - whose only purpose is to provide content and make money from adverts - find it hard to survive, what's the point in service providers wasting resources on that too?

    An ISP provides a certain level of service, for which you pay a fixed monthly subscription - which isn't subject to the whims of the advertising market. What's wrong with sticking to a tried and tested formula?

    (Okay, so this is AOL, and they feel they have to do *something* to exploit those users who don't change their browser home page... but I still wish they wouldn't bother.)

    --
    -- Ed Avis ed@membled.com
  103. Re:Layoffs = recession by cb0y · · Score: 1

    if 100000 corporates/companies fire 30% of all staff, and fire 25 million people then the spending power of the country gets to drag down reducing GDP etc... then all the OLD people on pension funds will loose 1/2 their funds and starve.

    Who wins? All the execs, and managers already earning $200k+ with millions in options.

  104. Re:Shit by Cephas+Keken · · Score: 1

    *high five*
    op ivy sig lines kick ass

    --

    Guttermouth is a really good band.
  105. managers profit, workers screwed by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting
    While the CEO's have gotten rich at these companies, the workers, after having to work 60-hour weeks, are now being laid off now that they're unneeded. It was the managers and investors greed that caused the economic collapse to begin with.

    Here is a good link speaking about this:

    Who should pay?

  106. You're completely wrong about that by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
    General Motors has more revenue in a quarter than Cisco has all year, and will continue to do so for at least another year. But the market capitalization of Cisco is greater than General Motors.

    Why do you think that is? Because the people in the market look further ahead than one quarter. As a matter of fact, they look ahead as far as they possibly can (typically two-three years).

    If you think that the people in the market judge performance on one trailing quarter and one future quarter, and you think you can judge performance better than that, bring your money and have a seat. Pick a company with a plan that is two quarters out, buy some stock, and make some money. Or pick a different company whose plan is going to stop working after one more quarter, and short-sell them.

  107. The voice of something by Eponymous,+Showered · · Score: 1
    Reynolds had done a number of commercial voice-overs before, including a Microsoft webcast of a U2 concert. She heard about the potential gig at MSN through her talent agency.
    She really must have worked on her Bono impression for a long time.
    When she came in to record her voice, she told Cooperman, the MSN executive, that she didn't know anything about the Internet, and he responded, "Perfect."
    "...neither do we. Can you help me figure out what happens when I click on this here thingie?"
    1. Re:The voice of something by Rudeboy777 · · Score: 1

      When she came in to record her voice, she told Cooperman, the MSN executive, that she didn't know anything about the Internet, and he responded, "Perfect."

      ... and she'll be making almost as much money as she did at her last job as Pres. & CEO of pets.com

      --

      From hell's heart I fstab at /dev/hdc

  108. On the plus side... by Legion303 · · Score: 1
    That female voice might make getting porno spam a whole lot more interesting.

    "You've got HOT WET TEENS ACHING TO PLEASE YOUR EVERY ORIFICE! YOU! WILL! CUM!"

    OK, maybe not...

    -Legion

  109. Subject goes here by Legion303 · · Score: 1
    MSN is having a woman named Shelley Reynolds create a series of spoken identifiers for its online service similar to AOL's famous 'You've got mail!'

    Oh, fantastic. I can imagine it now:

    "You've got spam!" [Score: -50, Redundant. -ed.]
    "You've got an attachment virus! Executing now..."
    "You've got a BSOD!"
    "You've got a monopoly!"

    -Legion

  110. "You're infected with a virus!" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    "But we no one will ever fix it because viruses are profitable to so many industries that now RELY on insecure apps/OSes"

  111. the oral cala.. what? by thanq · · Score: 1
    Aiyaiyaiyaiyaiy

    I thought that the second article isn't about a chick doing sounds for MSN but another article about Xena the princess warrior.

    Yeah..... makes you wonder...

  112. Who are these people? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Is this a shake out of coders/hardware employees or a shake out of the marketdroids? Anyone got info on that.......

  113. Too bad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    They should've gotten Stephen Hawking to do it :(

  114. Female voiceovers are very expensive by heroine · · Score: 2

    Goes without saying that any voiceovers or "sound and technology" as computer scientist call them, are very expensive. Female voiceovers because of the excruciatingly small number of women in the business of speaking in public, are the most expensive. You always hear stories about how Julia Roberts commanded the highest fee in the history of acting to come out of her 10 year "maternity leave". Well voiceovers are no different. When was the last time you heard a female voiced movie trailer?

  115. Actually, no :) by Balinares · · Score: 2

    Good grammatical point indeed. :)
    I fear I still have to correct the physics of it. The decibel unit isn't a unit per se; it's 1/10th of a bel. A bel is a logarithmic quantity: it means you express a unit logarithmically. In effect, a 60 decibels (6 bels) sound is ten times louder than a 50 decibels sound. So, the words 'audio decibel' aren't that stupid.
    Now, my physics courses are far behind me, but I believe the 'real' unit behind sound is joules, used to express the energy of the mass of air displaced by a sound. Or something like that anyway. :) Corrections and details welcome!

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    This sig does in fact not have the property it claims not to have.
  116. Re:Audio decibel? Yer Both Wrong... by dbCooper0 · · Score: 1

    The concept is: A speaker's voice in decibels is only a measure of amplitude - the same thing the cops in Traverse City, MI used to use a meter to tell us to "tone it down" (another misnomer) as we (the band) played at various bars making a living.
    What this person is really trying to convey is that a certain "frequency pattern" or waveform that is "attractive" has been put forth from Ms. Reynolds' (trained) vocal organs. (not "chords" - those are combinations of two or more notes in harmony)

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