Resident Evil

Reader M. Grochmal writes with his brief review of Resident Evil, below. Yes, Resident Evil the game has been turned into Resident Evil, the movie. You have been warned.

The latest in a line of video game adaptations, Resident Evil was released over the weekend. While past conversions such as Super Mario Brothers and Street Fighter were box-office flops, Resident Evil has the chance to break the game-to-movie-flop habit. While the movie is not a straight port of the game, it can still offer a good viewing experience.

The movie takes place in Raccoon City, USA, within a secret underground research lab called The Hive. The lab's work on a cell regeneration medicine ("the T-Cell serum:) for the Umbrella Corporation has a very negative side effect: it reverts the donor into a creature with basic instinctive needs. A lab experiment causes the virus to be released in the air circulation system and, after a logic snafu from the Red Queen (The Hive's AI), this AI quarantines the lab and kills everyone who may have been exposed to the virus.

A SWAT team (not STARS, for the Resident faithful), is sent to find out what's going on. After finding Alice (Milla Jovovich), they break into the HIVE. The Red Queen's traps have fun with the troops, and one they figure things are going their way, the dead scientists of the HIVE are released. On top of that, they're all thirsty for blood.

From here, it goes into a Night of the Living Dead shoot-and-scream-a-thon. There are some genuine scares, but most of them are peppered with shouting and running. There wasn't enough time to get to know the characters before they start getting killed off. The movie tries to be like Aliens in some respects, and sometimes it works.

Plot notwithstanding, the movie still offers a good viewing. It is a shame that George Romero didn't take the project, as was the original plan. Instead, it was taken by Paul Anderson (Soldier, Event Horizon, Mortal Kombat), whose influences show with strobe lights, dark passageways, and a loud soundtrack. Go and see it during the matinee, or wait for it on video. AfterThought: For those who are also fans of anime, here is a video you may wish to download: Resident Eva . It uses the trailer's audio track and makes good use of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Comments

Inhuman Robot Skull Consumes Vertebrate Life

[Anonymous Coward]

Human Combustion Industries has announced the completion of their latest home entertainment robot, OBIT. OBIT manifests as a human skull 3.1 meters in height, equipped with two stubby robot legs and an extensible fanged proboscis described by surviving journalists as "indescribable", "ravenous", and "obscene".

OBIT is powered by a 500 hp diesel-electric fuel cell located in the area of the cranium traditionally reserved for the medulla oblongata. This configuration allows for extended operation in low-oxygen environments as well as the "silent stalking" behavior demonstrated to such dramatic effect at Tuesday's eventful press conference.

OBIT is also equipped with sophisticated magnetic resonance imaging equipment enabling 98% accurate detection of the presence of an advanced central nervous system in organisms variously defined as "visitor", "prey", "family member", "clergy", or "passer-by". Complex neural-net technology allows all detected instances of CNS regardless of category to be recategorized as "prey". "Prey" instances are greeted with prompt action when target acquisition phase is complete! Graceful proboscis extends rapidly, providing spectator great joy as jaws open wide and gleaming fang extend. Studies show most immediate immobilization benefit in prompt attack to legs; hence OBIT prefer leg-first approach. Quaint antics of disabled prey may be observed by all as limbs are removed, followed by educational vivisection of torso and head accompanied by instructional lecture. Excellent consistency in results is obtained.

Remains of owner and guests to be disposed of at all times in accordance with applicable statutes of local municipality.

Milla Jovavich

[kaimiike1970]

As long as they stick to Milla in a short skirt we should have a pretty good movie. If they insist on a plot or a storyline then all is lost. Also, if they are so foolish as to have other people in it then likewise all is lost. I would go see 2+ hours of scantily clad Milla kicking the crap out of CG anything...

Re:Milla Jovavich

[MisterBlister]

They did stick Milla is a short dress, and showed a few semi-nude scenes in a shower, etc. And lucky for them... If they hadn't, I'd have burned down the theater I saw this in... Because otherwise this is a VERY VERY BAD MOVIE, even for a video game to movie conversion. This movie is "Street Fighter: The Movie" bad.

Re:Milla Jovavich

[gosand]

Now you made me go look on IMDB for all her movies. Not quite Pokemon, but some are close. :-) Now I have to go home and bust out The Fifth Element on DVD and ready the pause button.

Re:Milla Jovavich

[fonetik]

I could watch her reading a phone book.

Re:Milla Jovavich

[sql*kitten]

As long as they stick to Milla in a short skirt we should have a pretty good movie. If they insist on a plot or a storyline then all is lost. Also, if they are so foolish as to have other people in it then likewise all is lost. I would go see 2+ hours of scantily clad Milla kicking the crap out of CG anything...

Yeah, Milla Jovovich and Michelle Rodriguez are cute, but for this sort of movie you really need Kate Winslet and Rachel Weisz. Or indeed, for any sort of movie.

Oh my.

[Electric Angst]

Is that...

No, it can't be...

Wait! It is.

Someone is linking to a dyndns server on Slashdot, for a large multimedia file, no less.

I have a feeling someone's cable modem is about to explode.

Re:Oh my.

[Ubergrendle]

I think I'll need to break out my logarithmic calculator to identify to which ^10 he has invalidated his ISP bandwidth cap...

Re:Oh my.

[Mike A.]

DSL, actually. Thanks for caring, anyway. :)

Re:Oh my.

[M-2]

I knew I recognized that URL.

Will you be able to make the Hellride after this DNS bill? o.o

Re:Oh my.

[AnalogBoy]

I still use kermit. kermit's cool. anything named after a muppet kicks ass.

But how true to the games is it?

[dave-fu]

Most importantly, I'm wondering if the characters (players?) in the movie can step side-to-side or if they've stayed true to the RE series and made them all move like tanks (turning on their axes). So which is it?

Re:But how true to the games is it?

[Peter Harris]

I'm guessing the writing and delivery of the dialogue will be true to the original.

But will the characters keep finding ammo and saying to themselves... "Shall I take the handgun bullets?" (while the audience shout out "Duh!")

I'll have to wait until it's released in the UK anyway, so I don't mind waiting the extra week until it's out on video to find out ;)

RESIDENT EVIL!#$&!#()$&

[thedbp]

This movie rules, but I must say, I really miss the emotional-sociological take on the zombie genre that George Romero has. His Night, Dawn, Day series is just a classic, the movies being more about the people breaking down under duress than the zombies and gore (but OH! those Zombies and Gore!).

And I love the first Return of the Living Dead (produced by John Russo, who co-authored Night of the Living Dead w/ Romero). The sequels to that film sucked, but the first one was a very effective horror comedy with some nice twists on the zombie theme (intelligent zombies, no sure-kill tactic)

While Resident Evil is a great rush, it just doesn't have the substance that the Romero films do. If you wanna REALLY be scared of zombies, get the DVD of Day of the Dead, lock yourself in a basement, and turn off all the lights. FRREEEAAAAKKKYYYY!
----------------------

Re:RESIDENT EVIL!#$&!#()$&

[turacma]

Obviously you and I did NOT see the same movie. I thought it was complete and utter garbage. There were a few moments I would have walked out had I not paid the full ticket price.

Reasons why RE sucked big hairy gonads:
1. The movie would just not end. Every time you figured the movie would end, they slapped on an extra 5 minutes of footage that help set up RE2.

2. Entirely too many characters are just thrown in and out of the movie, apparently, on a whim. Characters are apparently left for dead, only to reappear for a brief moment, before being killed in earnest. (This may be a problem with the genre in general, not this specific movie)

3. There's only so many times I can get hit with the shock scare of something popping out of a window before I start seeing it come from a mile away.

It wasted a complete waste, there is a brief couple moments of Milla nude, and a couple of the first death sequences are just plain gory fun. After the first 30 minutes though, you might as well tune out. Just my $.02.

Re:RESIDENT EVIL!#$&!#()$&

[H310iSe]

Really good point on it not being as ... psychologically involved as it might have been, but then, the video game doesn't exactly have the story-line of, say, half-life. On the moan side we have one-liners (I'm missing you already was one of the better ones), a movie that's a half-hour too long, some rather silly anti-globalization commentary and the repetitive stress of things-can't-get-worse-but-then-they-do seen in say, Red Planet (but this was much more exciting then Red Planet IMHO).

BUT. But even though I left the movie moaning a little, I was also shaking, and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. This was a GOOD MOVIE people, barring Final Fantasy (which is comparing apples and oranges) it was by FAR the best video game movie made to date. The effects were great, the sets were a blast, and the movie didn't try to be something it wasn't. At least Milla wasn't spouting shakespear or wearing baggy clothes :)

As to the review DID THIS GUY WATCH THE MOVIE? It wasn't a 'lab experiment' that released the virus, the AI didn't have a glitch (it performed perfectly, exactly as it was supposed to - the Umbrella corp. had a moral glitch...)

Final line - as night of the living dead or Aliens VIII the movie fails, as Resident Evil it was great.

Re:RESIDENT EVIL!#$&!#()$&

[Pfhor]

Actually I wouldn't consider the ending as something which just lays the ground for a sequel. I have not played resident evil, but according to the friends who saw it with me who have played the game, the end of the movie leaves you at exactly where the game starts. (or where RE2 the game starts).

The ending reminds me of the original "dark" Army of Darkness ending. The one too depressing for american audiences.

And if they are planning to make a sequel, fine with me. They could make 3 movies in total from it, and in the end, have the equiv of Night,Dawn,Day of the Dead for a new millenium. It even has something of a social commentary in it (evil corporations).

Re:RESIDENT EVIL!#$&!#()$&

[bryan1945]

Oh please shut the FUCK up and show up when you actually know what the fuck you are talking about. All of your points are in the game, and all of them worked in the movie.

Interesting, since all of your "gory deaths" are about 45 minutes into the movie, so yeah the first 30 minutes would be pretty dull to any 12 year old who went to the film just to see the chick naked.

Next time watch the movie before posting your spewage.

Not all video game movies are flops

[TrollMan 5000]

While past conversions such as Super mario Brothers and Street Fighter were box office flops

Tomb Raider grossed about $131 million. Not a superhit but definitely not a flop.

Angelina Jolie probably helped that one out.

Re:Not all video game movies are flops

[MisterBlister]

Also, the original Mortal Kombat (which Paul Anderson..not to be confused with Paul Thomas Anderson, who directs REAL movies), was a modest hit.

Asteroids, The Movie

[Anonymous Coward]

Ship twirls around and fires. Misses. Fires again. Hits a large asteroid. Fires again and hits a flying saucer. Keeps firing. Hits a small asteroid. Fires four times in rapid succession. Oh-oh, tiny fast-moving rock: hyperspace. Re-enters close to the screen. Oh oh oh, dangerous, moves closer to the middle. Tiny spaceship comes out. Ship fires and hits it. 1000 points. Fires. Misses. Fires again. Another tiny spaceship fires back and hits him.

Re:Asteroids, The Movie

[jeff67]

Three words: "Pong - The Movie"

Re:Asteroids, The Movie

[Sabalon]

I dunno...I seem to remember somewhat enjoying watching the Pac-Man cartoon that was on CBS in the 80's - their Saturday morning supercade as well, with Pitfall, Donkey Kong and some others. There was also a Dragons Lair cartoon - yeah...that's a stretch :)

Of course major oscar nods to anyone that can make $100mil back on a movie based on Turbo or Qix :)

Decent movies stand alone

[bbk]

Even if you've never played an RE game, the movie turns out to be a decent horror flick. Producers finally figured out that you don't just have to retell a game - you just have to get the feel of the game - the RE movie does this well. Even without the Resident Evil name, it's a decent movie.

In terms of production, the special effects were so-so (and erred on the side of cheese a couple times), and the audio was a bit badly mixed (might have been the theatre). The acting was great, as were the costumes. It doesn't go for cheap scares like most horror flicks, which is a welcome change.

Worth going to, if you don't mind gore, or just want to see a lot of zombie killing

BBK

Re:Decent movies stand alone

[NeMon'ess]

You could be farther from the truth, but not by much. The special effects blew, except for the after effect of the laser grid on someones face. The audio sucked. I don't know which bands they pulled tracks from, but since it was mixed to loud and distorting it I don't see how it was any different from noise. The acting was pretty good, but the characters were so thin I didn't give a damn about a single one of them. As for gore, all I saw were a bunch of shots where the main characters' hands were bloody as they clutched their wounds. The zombies don't spurt blood when hit. When the zombies pull a good guy into their clutches its just a sea of hands and no blood as his skin gets ripped open. Oh, and did I mention not many zombies got killed? Unlike the game, where ammo is improbably laying around all over the place, in the movie the good guys run almost out of ammo before the half way point. That means the whole second half is them running, getting picked off, and running some more, getting picked off again. It was obvious who was going to die, and generally predictable how.

The movie and games are full of fake science, but can anyone explain to me why the zombies can not feed on each other but must consume creatures that are alive?

Re:Decent movies stand alone

[Afrosheen]

"Unlike the game, where ammo is improbably laying around all over the place, in the movie the good guys run almost out of ammo before the half way point"

Shows that you never played any of the RE games on anything except Easy. Even medium has you deciding if it's a better idea to run or shoot and waste ammo. This factor is true to the games. Half of the fear is the fear of running out of explosive rounds, somehow knowing there has to be at least 5 or 6 Hunters in the basement you've yet to explore. That and the fact that you're at 50% health and don't have enough first aid to survive more than one attack.

I really, really hope the movie includes the Hunters. Those things are the scariest buggers ever. One swipe from their claws and you lose your head, game over.

The original Resident Evil was brilliant

[mbessey]

The first Resident Evil game was ground-breaking. It was one of the first really scary video games to come out after the advent of decent 3D graphics.

Previous "horror" video games tended to be more of a shoot-fest. Resident Evil was genuinely creepy. I literally jumped at a few points when playing it. Part of making a good thriller is pacing things appropriately. You have to let the tension build up for a while before you release it.

It's ironic that the movie (by all the reviews I've read) seems to be a regression to more of an action movie/"shooter" game style, rather than being true to the original. This may be the first instance where the movie adaptation of a video game is less cinematic than the video game that inspired it.

-Mark

Re:The original Resident Evil was brilliant

[SuiteSisterMary]

I get that 'squeezing my ribcage' sensation when Xerxes starts calmly informing you exactly how fucked you are. Or some of the ghosts. I think the most 'frightened/disturbed' I've ever been by a video game was actually a single scene from Phantasmagoria (A Sierra FMV-fest) which involved a haunted crib. Of course, this was seven years ago, so I was a bit younger, too. :-)

Re:um repeat

[gwayne]

Don't forget the ONLY video game turned movie worth seeing so far -- Tomb Raider, with the luscious Angelina Jolie!

mmmmmm.......Lara.......

7/10? POSSIBLE MINOR SPOILERS

[jgerman]

Maybe a little higher, but (possible spoilers)

Spoilers Below *******

Why would you build a emergency cutoff system for an AI (in case it perhaps goes crazy) BEHIND defense systems controlled by the AI??

And why would an AI that we find out isn't crazy start freaking out over killing the infected chick? The AI shouldn't care, it should have calmly stated kill her or you all die, instead of screaming kill her over and over like that chick just ate her cookie.

Not a plot problem but the Matrix bullets have to go, getting sick of the rip offs.

Who directed this flick: Hey pal, load noises and sudden appearances on screen only work if you use them SPARINGLY. No audience is going to jump every five minutes at that shit.

All in all it was a good watch though, entertaining at least.

Re:7/10? POSSIBLE MINOR SPOILERS

[Paolomania]

Who directed this flick: Hey pal, load noises and sudden appearances on screen only work if you use them SPARINGLY. No audience is going to jump every five minutes at that shit.

Apparently you never saw "Event Horizon" - it is also directed by Paul Anderson. Absolutely everything happens suddenly in that movie. At times it seems like sudden loud noises and sudden flashes of gore are the only horror devices that director Paul Anderson knows how to use. And "Soldier" was such an honest effort - oh well.

Re:7/10? POSSIBLE MINOR SPOILERS

[jgerman]

That would explain it. I saw Event Horizon and laughed hysterically through it, the girl I was with was freaked out about the gore, but I thought the movie was terrible. I especially like the bit when they look in the derilict spacship and among the ice chunks and various other frozen things floating around see a bottle of Evian turning end over end with the water sloshing around .

Re:7/10? POSSIBLE MINOR SPOILERS

[NeMon'ess]

And why would an AI that we find out isn't crazy start freaking out over killing the infected chick? The AI shouldn't care, it should have calmly stated kill her or you all die, instead of screaming kill her over and over like that chick just ate her cookie.

I'm pretty sure the AI was trying to use human psychology to pressure the characters to kill her. Kind of like a crowd shouting "JUMP!" to someone suicidal.

Re:7/10? POSSIBLE MINOR SPOILERS

[jgerman]

Fair enough, on the one hand the AI shouldn't have cared, it had no reason to pressure them to kill her, on the other, maybe it was trying to preserve any lives it could and killing her might allow the others to escape.

Re:7/10? POSSIBLE MINOR SPOILERS

[Paolomania]

i agree that it was not really all that gory. my problem with it was that _absolutely_everything_ happened suddenly - such that it was an assault on one's eyes and ears. it was like watching a two-hour long commercial or music video with too many quick cuts in rapid succession. it just wears down the attention span after a while when absolutely everything is emphesized as attention grabbing. there is something to be said for the nagging growth of a pit in the stomach of the viewer due to a horrific realization that comes slowly.

over the course of watching "event horizon", i found myself scared - but the fear had nothing to do with the plot or characters. there was no empathy for the characters, no dramatic tension in the plot. it could have been a blank screen for all i cared. my fear stemmed from knowing that there would be a sudden, disturbing visual or auditory stimulus arriving at an unknown random interval - probably some kind of poisson ditribution for expected sudden horror.

it would be interesting to study the frequency and distribution of sudden loud noises and sudden flashes of disturbing imagery in this film to see just how formulaic its horror content was.

Re:7/10? POSSIBLE MINOR SPOILERS

[kubrick]

and among the ice chunks and various other frozen things floating around see a bottle of Evian turning end over end with the water sloshing around.

After all, what's Evian spelt backwards? :)

George Romero?

[Knunov]

"It is a shame that George Romero didn't take the project..."

It's even more of a shame that John Romero didn't take the project.

What with his obsession of story lines in video games, Resident Evil would have been nothing less than a smash hit.

Just ask him. I'm sure he'll agree.

Knunov

Re:George Romero?

[nomadic]

What with his obsession of story lines in video games, Resident Evil would have been nothing less than a smash hit.

Hey! Quake III had a GREAT storyline! There was this arena, you see. And uhh...you fought in it.

Re:George Romero?

[nomadic]

Yes, I know I got Carmack and Romero mixed up. Forgive me.

Re:George Romero?

[Nerds]

Watch out, John Romero knows where you live, and he will make you his bitch.

Re:George Romero?

[Afrosheen]

....I don't think he can afford to make ANYONE his bitch these days.

mirror

[lburdet]

i will post a mirror of the mpeg file, as soon as it finishes... assuming it finishes. please, just wait for it to finish, and it'll be on http://www25.brinkster.com/hexanova have pity on the poor guy...:)

(it actually does happen..)

[zapfie]

Now, in the spirit of modern-day marketing and product tie-ins, we will soon see a crappy game based off of this movie..

Where are the Zombies?

[AndyChrist]

The commercials seem to be rather short on zombies. There's lots of spooky ghosty-looking bullshit. Did they envision it as yet another haunted-house movie but with a few zombies?

I suggest that most of the zombies associated with the Resident Evil movie worked behind the camera in in the board room.

Write your own /. movie preview.

[nob]

In the past game-to-movie conversions have been _______(negative adjective.) But ________ (newest game-to-movie) has the chance to break the habit. Since the game has sold over _____ (big number) copies, and the movie has a budget of _____ (big number), it will probably be very ______(positive adjective.)

That Movie Sucked

[viper21]

I'm not sure if anybody at this site has reviewed it (I haven't yet, and I'm too lazy to look), but thatmoviesucked.com typically has decent reviews up of movies. Usually after they've been out for a week, sometimes longer. :-) No pre-view reviews here.

We can spell, though. Which should definitely put us a step above Slashdot.

-S

Re:That Movie Sucked

[bryan1945]

Here is a real review from a real person- good movie. If you played the games- better movie.

Go see the movie and make up your own mind, but this was one of the better movies I've seen in the past 5 years or so.

Preview

[Have Blue]

When I saw the Resident Evil preview on TV, the first thing that came to my mind in response to it was a line from a Space Ghost episode:

"No, Jon, Not that show. The show I'm talking about has skeletal dogs."

Milla Jovavich

[psycht]

I'd watch Pokemon if it had her in it.

George Romero didn't take the project?

[Mr. Neutron]

How about John Romero? It would have been fun to see flashy trailers, but see the movie, released three years behind schedule, contain no action and and be slow as molasses on the screen.

That would kick ass.

Re:George Romero didn't take the project?

[crawling_chaos]

How about John Romero? It would have been fun to see flashy trailers, but see the movie, released three years behind schedule, contain no action and and be slow as molasses on the screen.

And you can't walk out because you'd leave your pal, SuperFly, behind...

Bleh

[LafinJack]

I must not be geeky enough to hate good movies, I'm sorry. I thought FF was pretty good, the Time Machine wasn't bad, Star Wars Ep. 1 was fun, etc. I haven't seen Resident Evil yet, but I can't see myself hating it. You guys/gals expect too much from these movies, and once your overinflated expectations aren't met, you blame the movie.

I think you would enjoy movies (and life) more if you didn't do that. :)

From the hoster of the AMV...

[Mike A.]

• Yes, it's hosted on a DSL connection.
  
• Yes, it's quite thoroughly slashdotted.
  
• No, I don't mind. It'll be cleared up enough by the time I get home.
  
• Yes, I was warned in advance.
  
• Yes, you may mirror the file if any of you successfully managed to get it.
  

Thank you for visiting my beleaguered box. :)

Best video game movie ever?

[L-Train8]

This is the best movie based on a video game that I have ever seen. But that may be like saying she's the smartest supermodel of all time or something.

The Resident Evil game was basically a horror movie turned into a video game, so I guess it's pretty easy to turn it back into a horror movie. Still, for all it's big budget and Milla star power, it is just a horror movie. The genre isn't exactly deep. If you don't expect "something more", you can enjoy this movie.

"RE" far from the first

[mblase]

While past conversions such as Super Mario Brothers and Street Fighter were box-office flops, Resident Evil has the chance to break the game-to-movie-flop habit.

Guess he forgot all about the last three video-game movies to hit the big screen: Tomb Raider, Mortal Kombat and even Pokemon: The First Movie. They may not have been rippers in the plot department, but they were certainly financial successes for their respective studios.

Re:"RE" far from the first

[SuiteSisterMary]

And the new Sonya. In a mud fight. That's the only reason to watch that movie.

Re:um repeat

[cjpez]

Ugh, I don't think so. That movie was awful on just about every level. Okay, maybe fifteen years ago it would have been worth it for Angelina Jolie, but why subject yourself to two hours of hellish agony when you can just go home and download Angelina Jolie pictures off the internet? :P

When you get home...

[wiredog]

You will be greeted by the fire department. They will say something about a large explosion and/or fire in the vicinity of your DSL connection. Then the people from the phone company will stop by...

That's not what producers figured out...

[GeekLife.com]

Producers realized you can get some free fans if you name your horror movie after a popular horror video game, even if you don't bother sticking to the plot.

Darn

[NiftyNews]

I totally wanted to see the movie, but I couldn't get my character through the doorway. I think it might have been the lighting aroud the theater, or perhaps the fact that my brain wasn't corresponding to my feet movement very well. I tried it for about an hour then got frustrated and left.

New Feature - Slash Libs!

[gosand]

You missed the golden opportunity to title your post Slash Libs!

You could have Katz Slash Libs too!

In this day and age of ____(buzz word) and ____ (buzz word), we often don't realize that the ____ (buzz word) has been ______ (verb). That isn't the case anymore. I remember back in ___ (year) when I was _________ (boring verb), things were much more _______ (wordy adjective). In conclusion, I think that we need to _______ (verb) the ________ (buzz word) and embrace the _______ (noun) before it is too late.

Re:New Feature - Slash Libs!

[Kintanon]

The last line fills itself in, just Verb the buzzword and embrace the noun!

Kintanon

Re:New Feature - Slash Libs!

[nvembar]

I believe you neglected the following sentence:
"In these post-_______ (reference to an event which apparently colors our entire world view) times, we have begun to realize ______ (something totally obvious)."

-Navin

Re:New Feature - Slash Libs!

[Afrosheen]

I had a funny one for Spam LIbs but the lameness filter broke me off for my underscores. Damn you dirty apes!

Never played the game...

[singularity]

I never played any of the Resident Evil games, but when and saw the movie this past Saturday.

It was decent, and worth the $5 admission. It is far from the best movie ever, but entertaining.

Some notes:

* The volume in the theatre I saw it in was turned up *way* too loud. Part of it was the soundtrack was mixed that way, but there were some times I jumped not because of the action on the scene, but rather because the noise was startling.

* The hologram girl was done well, and I was disappointed that she was not used more. She was creepy when used well.

* I had not realized they were going to make Jason X. The trailer came on and I could not stop from laughing. "He's... he's... mutated!" As a friend of mine stated: "Six young space cadets go on a routine training mission and find, on planet Hell, something alive. 'Let's bring it on board with us!' They will regret that... forever... Jason X."

* At times it felt a little too "Night of the Living Dead."

* There were some pretty major plot inconsistencies, but I suppose that cannot be helped in an action/horror movie like that.

* The special effects were good, and used sparingly enough to keep them entertaining.

Re:Never played the game...

[bryan1945]

Finally some who actually saw the film gives some insights! (no flame at you singularity, just got done screaming at 5 or 6 people who trashed the film who didn't even see it!)

I agree with most of your points, though we didn't get a Jason X trailer.

Different nerds on Slashdot than FARK ?

[totallygeek]

On Fark.com they are always complaining that Hollywood has no new ideas. On Slashdot the Hollywood movie posts are usually not ripping the movie industry for this. Aren't the same nerds going to both sites?

(verb) the (buzzword) and embrace the (noun)

[wiredog]

I'm not sure, but I think that's illegal here in Virginia.

Thoughts on the movie...

[wd123]

After seeing this piece of trash, someone pointed me to a review of the movie by Roger Ebert. Here's the link, and below is the first paragraph of the review. It's pretty funny, and it sums up the movie very well:

"Resident Evil" is a zombie movie set in the 21st century and therefore reflects several advances over 20th century films. For example, in 20th century slasher movies, knife blades make a sharpening noise when being whisked through thin air. In the 21st century, large metallic objects make crashing noises just by being looked at.

...

Anyone up for Zork: The Movie?

[totallygeek]

You know, as many hours (days, weeks) as I spent working the games, it might be nice to watch the dynamics in a three-hour movie. Not a bad story, to boot.

Re:Anyone up for Zork: The Movie?

[nomadic]

That would work; a movie with four characters, two of whom would be computer generated. And maybe 1 line of dialogue in the entire movie, and that's only if you get rid of the cyclops the easy way...

Re:Anyone up for Zork: The Movie?

[smoondog]

The perfect Zork movie would consist of:

Opening Credits, short scrolling synapsis, Closing credits

-Sean

Re:Anyone up for Zork: The Movie?

[realdpk]

How about Nethack? I'd definitely go. I can picture the title screen on the trailer. Just a big ol "@" with a date superimposed over it.

Re:Anyone up for Zork: The Movie?

[Skirwan]

You know, as many hours (days, weeks) as I spent working the games, it might be nice to watch the dynamics in a three-hour movie.

The problem with a three-hour movie about Zork is that two and a half hours of said movie would be spent in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

--
Damn the Emperor!

Re:Anyone up for Zork: The Movie?

[SuiteSisterMary]

That gives me a great idea for the Zork trailer. all the usual shots, then a fade to black, with the words "On 06/06/2004, you will be eaten by a grue."

Faithful adaptation

[JohnLi]

I'm not quite sure where all the bad reviews of this movie are coming from. I planned to see this movie last Saturday, but before hand, I looked up a few reviews. They were about 80% negative, so I decided to not go see it. The next day, a friend of mine pressured me into seeing it anyway, and it was awesome. The atmosphere was exactly like the games...sure there is some filler/fluff, and most of the characters die 20 minuets into the movie, but again, that is just like the game. If you haven't seen it, for sure don't post opinions, and at least give it a chance. To put this movie in the ranks of Street Fighter, or Super Mario Bros. is just silly.

Re:Tomb Raider did flop...

[tb3]

Unfortunately, those weren't her breasts. She was padded. My female friends were laughing all through "Tomb Raider".

Real breasts don't move that way.

George Romero

[Evangelion]

If you go over to Coming Attractions, you'll discover that George Romero wanted the project quite a bit, and had alot of cool ideas.

"But the biggest damn shame was Resident Evil. We busted balls writing drafts of that screenplay. I'm talkin' marathons, seventy-two hours straight. I really wanted this project. I had directed a TV commercial for ResEv II, and being on the set again with zombies (by Screamin' Mad George), I was hooked. Deep in my heart, I felt that ResEv was a rip-off of Night of the Living Dead. I had no legal case, but I was resentful. And torn...because I liked the video game. I wanted to do the film partly because I wanted to say, 'Look here! This is how you do this shit!'"

Capcom apparently didn't like being shown how to make a Zombie franchise.

Here's to hoping that RE starts a resurgance of Zombie movies so we can see George in action again.

Pong, The Movie

[Bonker]

http://www.youngprimitive.cz/pong.html

Some people just have way the fuck too much time on their hands.

Yes, I've played "Alone in the Dark"

[mbessey]

I did say "[Resident Evil] was one of the first really scary video games to come out after the advent of decent 3D graphics".

Alone in the Dark was somewhat creepy, but not really "horrific". Texture mapping is an essential ingredient to getting the visceral reaction from the viewer, I think. On the other hand, maybe I just like bloodstains on my zombies.

And I still say the scripting in Resident Evil was much better. The cinematic cut scenes were a really nice touch, too.

-Mark

My (better) Review

[jabber01]

Resident Evil, starring Milla Jovovich (yummy), is based on the video game of the same name. I've never played the game, but I assume it's pretty much the same general idea..

The plot is mind-numbingly simple: The Umbrella Corporation is the biggest company in the US. It makes all sorts of consumer products, and is involved in military tech, and viral and genetic research.

Deep underground beneath Raccoon City (yep, that's what it's called) is The Hive, Umbrella Corp's secret research facility..

The movie opens with someone stealing what turns out to be a mutagenic virus from one of the labs, and leaving a broken vial of the nasty stuff to cover their tracks. In response to the contamination, the facility AI brain seals all exits and kills all occupants.

There's really not much more to it than that.. We get to see Yummy Milla passed out naked in a shower stall, in a nice mansion, due to having been gassed by the Red Queen (the AI code name) defense system. We get a gratuitous nipple shot, and then the action picks up as an Alien's-style special forces team arrives to figure out what hapenned in The Hive.

What follows is a joy-ride of mindless violence, cool special effects and lots and lots of zombies.

There's a few plot-related explanations that strangely hold together pretty well, but 'plot' is not what this movie is about.. It's about action, suspense, effects, soundtrack, and of course, Yummy Milla in a short evening dress doing acrobatic fight scenes.

It's been said that "Every Breath You Take" is the perfect Pop Song.. It's devoid of content, but it has everything a great pop song needs to succeed. A good beat and melody, plenty of rhyming and easy to recall lyrics, and a simple structure that doesn't test even the most mundane of brains.

This movie is the perfect Popcorn Movie. It's got a non stop mix of suspense and shock, which alternates with loud gunfire, growling monsters, and the occasional computer-screen overlay.. It's a study in brilliant, yet vapid, entertainment.

It's Night of the Living Dead, on Methamphetamine.

And best of all, it's more than just a movie about the game "Resident Evil". All you need to do is replace Yummy Milla with a male, and the openning "virus theft" sequence with an experiment in trans-dimensional travel, and suddenly, it's also a movie about the game "Doom".. Seriously, right down to the final scene, except there isn't a bunny-head on a stick anywhere in sight..

If you've got $8.50 burning a hole in your pocket, this is a fun, albeit mindless 2 hours on which to spend it.

Re:My (better) Review

[digitalhermit]

"It's been said that "Every Breath You Take" is the perfect Pop Song.."

I'd always heard it as a song about obsession, an insight into the mind of a stalker. "Oh can't you see, you *belong* to me."

Then I thought that maybe the directors intended Resident Evil as a cinematic Andy Warhol piece. I.e., satirize the violence and gratuitous sex by merely bowing down to it and splashing it on the screen for all to see, without the pretense of sensibility or storytelling. We (in the collective sense) want to see tits, after all. Then Douglas Adams reached from the grave and smacked me, and showed me that it just so much Vogon poetry. I.e., devoid of any artistic merit whatsoever and any claims to the contrary was mere mental ejaculation.

This is a /. movie review?

[andy@petdance.com]

Will plot be discussed? But not the ending?

I saw RE with my girlfriend...

[psxndc]

I got to see two hours of Milla Jovovich (who called Grand Theft Auto "GTA" on The Daily Show the other night. score), and my girlfriend had nightmares. Mission accomlished as far as I'm concerned.

psxndc

Am I the only one...

[neonzebra]

...who thought "Hey, I've played this level of Half-Life!" when they first entered the Hive complex?

Re:Tomb Raider did flop...

[ceswiedler]

You had to ask female friends to find out that real breasts aren't anything like that? I'm sorry, my friend.

Re:Tomb Raider did flop...

[tb3]

Did I say that? I knew there was something wrong, but have them crack up just showed how bad it was.

I know what real ones are like, just no experience with padding. Just lucky, I guess.

OMFG I Hated this movie

[_ph1ux_]

ok- so I went to the SF metreon last night to see RE...

Milla is a cutie and all but my lord that was THE WORST sound I have ever heard in a movie. I sat there the *entire* movie with my ears plugged.

the sharp very very loud stabbing sounds to add some dramatic effect to _every_ turn of milla's head was just making me wince through the whole thing.

I think that the only reason that milla was in there was to over deliver on her signature surprised look.

and the other girl - michelle rodriguez. WORST ACRTESS in recent memory. I wanted to punch her by the end of the flick.

ALL in all - RE SUCKED MAJOR ASS. dont waste a dime.

Re:OMFG I Hated this movie

[bryan1945]

You call Michelle Rodriguez the worst actress; what in the holy hell do you call Cameron Diaz?!?!?

By the way, nice review- "the music was loud and... ahh that't it"

So we shouldn't go see the movie becuase the music is loud? Shit, you are worse than Katz with your shit spewing review.

Someone ban this dipshit from ever posting again, it may help his 3 brain cells connect again and make a coherent sentence.

Fuck, why the hell are people who equate loud sound to bad movie allowed to live?

Re:OMFG I Hated this movie

[kubrick]

You call Michelle Rodriguez the worst actress; what in the holy hell do you call Cameron Diaz?!?!?

Hey, at least Diaz was in Being John Malkovich. One mitigating point in an otherwise depressing career :)

Re:OMFG I Hated this movie

[_ph1ux_]

what?!

you obviously missed the point oh high minded troll.

1) I wasnt making an attempt to review the movie - I was giving my OPINION, heard of that word before?

2) the point about the *very* loud sounds was just that - a valid point. Seriously. the metreon played it very very loud - so much so that it was uncomfortable for many of the people in the theatre, myself included. and i was not equating "loud sounds to a bad movie" READ what I said again and you will see that I clearly state that they used louds sounds AS DRAMATIC EFFECT every two minutes. it was very very predictable and got old very fast.

3) what does cameron diaz have to do with this? I am talking on topic about this movie - and that girl was terrible.

4) why dont you comment on the movie "dipshit" rather than someone else's opinion. it is obvious that you are the one with 3 brain cells.

Fuck, why are people that cant read posts completely before hitting reply aloud to live.

Re:OMFG I Hated this movie

[_ph1ux_]

hehe

whats really funny is I just got through going through your post history. YOU are the blithering idiot. almost every post of yours that I clicked on had NOTHING to do with the thread - and only flamed someone else'c comments....

man, you add nothing to this site.

The original Resident Evil was repetitive

[Silverhammer]

Bah, Resident Evil was never truly frightening. It just had lots of ambush shock value. The sensation of fear came from being so wound up wondering when the next baddie was going to jump you.

If you want frightening, play Silent Hill. *shiver*

Re:The original Resident Evil was repetitive

[Afrosheen]

Silent Hill on the original playstation was crap. There's nothing fun, scary, or creepy about having permanent fog EVERYWHERE about 3 feet in front of your face. What a steaming choad...maybe the PS2 version has the horsepower it needs, haven't seen it.

Great Zombie/slasher/creep flick

[nordaim]

There was one scene in this movie that was a typical kind of horror scene, where you know where you know what is about to happen. My roommate and i were sitting there in a row by ourselves in this dark cold theatre and we had a short dialogue that went like this:

Him: Oh god, it's going to happen.
Me: What?
Him: She's going to open her eyes.
Me: What?
Him: Look, it's going to happen, oh god oh god.
(At this point he was more or less drooling on himself with fright)

3 seconds later, what he was drooling in fear about, which we both knew was going to happen, happened, and we and everyone else in the theatre jumped.

The acting was not overly great or in anyway different from what I was expecting, but we made sure we checked our brains at the door. Doing that allowed us to have a great time and really enjoy a strong Zombie flick.

Nude Surprise!

[majestyk2000]

I wonder how many parents are going to freak out with that full-frontal crotch shot Milla gives us near the end? I mean, it's quick, but it sure is fine. Yes, it's an R rated movie, but you don't see short fuzzies in most movies.

Re:Nude Surprise!

[SuiteSisterMary]

Good old America. Bloody violence and mayhem? Ho-hum. The bodyparts every human being is born with? AAAAAH! MY EYES!

Don't worry about interference from the plot

[JMZero]

I was really amazed by this movie. It makes no compromises. There is zombies and guns and kicking. And then zombie dogs and lasers and shooting and yelling. After that is running and monsters and sparks and crashes. Well, and Milla.

The pauses for exposition were short, and the movie didn't really have any goals but sustaining tension. It didn't play around trying to set up some victorious climax or crazy plot twist or romance. It just kept with the zombies and the shooting and the "tension building music".

It certainly isn't my favorite movie, but it's certainly something. The thing it reminds me most of is, well, a video game.

.

a good movie

[maxpublic]

A good, straight-forward horror flick. Nothing more, nothing less. But watch as we get deconstructive commentary on this piece from armchair critics, as well as these two inevitable comments:

1) "Milla Jovovich - great tits but sucks as an actress"

2) "Like Tomb Raider with Angelina Jolie - who has great tits but sucks as an actress"

No doubt by the same people who think that Drew Barrymore is the height of talent.

Just three things, little boys:

a) whether or not they're good or bad, they're still better actors than you'll ever be;

b) Angelina, Milla, and their tits: laughing all the way to the bank. Shrewd ladies; smarter than most slashdotters, apparently; and

c) no matter what happens at any time during your pathetic lives, *you* will never have the opportunity to touch *those* tits.

Ever.

Max

Re:a good movie

[gtx]

c) no matter what happens at any time during your pathetic lives, *you* will never have the opportunity to touch *those* tits

i wouldn't bet the ranch on that one.

-c

no one's mentioned it but I'm a nit-picker

[xA-bx]

The team sent into The Hive were neither STARS nor SWAT, it was a team sent by Umbrella Corp. themselves. Hence the detailed maps, knowledge and equipment to disable Red Queen, and lack of communication with reinforcements. They were sent to investigate what happened to Red Queen and to shut her down, and thanks to Umbrella concealing The Hive well underground, no SWAT team would've even known about it, let alone Red Queen or the T-Virus.

Re:Tomb Raider did flop...

[L-Train8]

Real breasts don't move that way.

The movie was just being true to the video game. They made Angelina Jolie's chest move just like Lara Croft's does in the video game. I think the film's faithful adaptation of breasts was the best thing about it.

Remake for first RE

[BlackGriffen]

Capcom is doing a remake of the original RE for the Gamecube this year. The graphics are hella-improved, and they rearranged the mansion and added a bunch of stuff. They must have done a good job, too, because Famitsu (a Japanese mag that is very stringent on it's ratings: the only game to ever get a perfect score was The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time) gave it 39 out of 40.

BlackGriffen

Funniest. Thing. Ever

[lightspawn]

A tribute to Resident Evil's Barry Burton - if you can play realaudio and have played the first game, you need to see this, especially the link at #10.

Saw the movie

[bryan1945]

Best game to movie transfer ever. The TV trailers do the movie zero justice. Even the kung-fu dog kick makes sense in the movie. This is a good movie- starts creepy, goes into action. Not for everyone, but Res Evil fans will get a real kick out of this flick.

As to all the bashing this film is getting- half of the negative comments I've read so far are just wrong, these people did not even see the film! Seriously, their statements are just utter bullshit! Totally made up; I didn't notice this because this is the first movie I've gone to since Star Wars Ep1, but the people who slammed this movie are the same people who have slammed other movies with nonsense. Are they shills? Probably. Can I prove it? No.

The other half of the negative responses seem to focus on a single subject- not enough gore, bad dialogue, whatever. Yeah, even "Gone to the Wind" had a few weak points, but whatever.

Yes, this film has flaws, but I would say it has a whole lot less flaws than most films. But let the flame boys go jack themselves, and just go watch a matinee showing of the film- you will be pleasantly surprised.

Seriously,

[Inoshiro]

wasn't Mortal Kombat a good movie? I enjoyed it, something I can't say for the other ones you mention..