Slashdot Mirror
Go Stand By the Stairs, So I Can Protect You
ewhac writes "It seems a programmer named Jetro Lauha, for his submission to the Assembly 2002 competition, decided to explore the realm of solid body physics simulations. So he wrote Porrasturvat -- 'Stair Dismount'. The game involves the application of force vectors to solid bodies connected by links with constrained range of motion, and observing their impact forces against other objects in the environment. ...Or, more colloquially, you push a guy down the stairs and see how much damage he takes. Apparently, any similarity between this game and the Terrible Secret of Space is entirely coincidental."
two people for this experiment - 1 man plus alcohol can deliver all your falling down stairs needs - reports may take longer to compile
You can get really high scores in this game by finding the "bug": I'll keep the hint minimal, but if you push hard on his foot, and try to push it down and back into the stairs, there's a chance he'll get stuck for a few seconds... resulting in very high scores.
Madeline: Ernest! My ass. I can see my ass. ERNEST: Yeah, and there's something really wrong with your neck too.
And Sim-WifeBeater is also an acccident.
108436
For some reason he took a nose dive down the side of the stairs instead of down the stairs themselves.
I fell out of my chair laughing.
Of all the Universal Constants, here's one I know: Nice guys finish last
You have a TI? Sad. Texas instruments is like a drug dealer - they hook you while you're yong with complete crap. Get a HP. I suggest a HP49 or 40.
In response to your question, you arn't making alot of sense. Assembly is a programming language. Suggest you post your question to the TI group, or comp.sys.hp48 on usenet.
Just to make sure I don't get modded up, I'd like to add something:
Slashdot moderators are retards. Yes, retards. The average slashdot mod is a crack smoking tree hugging hippie who hugs trees and codes for doomed open source.
Thankyou for your cooperation in modding this down.
It seems a programmer named Jetro Lauha, for his submission to the Assembly 2002 competition, decided to explore the realm of solid body physics simulations
thats what HE wants us to believe....
Its quite interesting that the stairs were based on his local library and that he recently had an big argument with the librarian (who was, coincidently, sleeping with Jetro's partner)
But, of course, last sundays accident was a horrible coincidence and he honestly didnt mean to stumble and push the librarian on the upper left arm at a 37.6 degree angle or anything...
Which is another amazing coincidence because thats precisely how the highest (non-buggy) score submitted to his website was achieved!
If you can wait 6 months there is an expansion pack,Banana Peels and Rollerskate.
I actually have played that game a couple of times, and now you pushed the website down the stairs with the /. effect! What do you expect I will do with my obsession to push people, when I next take the stair down to leave the office :)
** Ohh, this is the perfect chance to plug the analysis of the slashdot effect once more.
From this bot...
You: Will you push me down the stairs?
Iniaes: Twice, if you manage to get back up.
sadly the database seems to have gone down - but look at http://db.cs.helsinki.fi/~jlauha/taat/porrasturvat /score/webscores.cgi tommorrow :)
No need. works great on WINE.
0x2b or not 0x2b, the answer is -1
Phil, just me
"Cattle Prods solve most of life's little problems."
It uses the free (or to be specific LGPL) Open Dynamics Engine. A quite nice physics SDK, check it out if you are interested in physics engines.
No need. works great on WINE.
Assuming you were responding to the comment on the site about them releasing a linux version, Yes there IS a need
If we just accept everything that works great on WINE, then why would anyone bother writing applications for linux?
WINE is a two edged sword...
at the moment, it provides a great service - BUT its one that may very well come back n bite us in our shiney metal's...
We need to encourage developers to write FOR LINUX - not for windows-that-works-on-wine-aswell
Anyone got a mirror?
Assembly language is nearly as close to programming in the language computers actually speak as possibly, short of actually writing your code in binary or hexadecimal. In a language like Basic or C, you're using a lot of predefined functions and tools (like Print, Goto, etc.); in Assembly, you write practically everything yourself.
Assembly code is incredibly fast, and massively time consuming to write. It is very un-portable, though... assembly code written for an Intel Pentium-class chip sometimes won't work on an AMD chip or even a Pentium IV.
// I will show you fear in a handful of jellybeans.
...Pontifex. You try and build bridges which stay up when you run trains over them. Really cool.
Go Here -> http://www.chroniclogic.com/
"If A equals success, then the formua is A=X+Y+Z. X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut" - A Einstein.
Is it just me or does anyone else wonder if you can make this thing kick itself in the head?
Of all the Universal Constants, here's one I know: Nice guys finish last
Lots of air, lands on head -> 59629 no cheating.
I'm sure it must L6kld8j4's ability to come up with a novel slant in D6y893 that makes it so appealing to 8q39ys.
8q39ys.
Powered by onion juice.
The latter translations are closer to the original thought of 'hitting the floor / stairs'. The game has nothing to do with shelters, as you surely can see... -- kArpo / tAAt
Funny, I was just on my way to go buy this book.
Posting anonymously because this is off topic. I had to say it. It was too weird.
The latter translations are closer to the original thought of 'hitting the floor / stairs
Yeah, I'm from Finland, I can assure you you're right about that.
i was hoping this would be like a stairwell, where you had to angle the guy around the corner to get to the next set of stairs.... or maybe knock him upwards so he "grinds" on the hand rail.... that'd be pretty sweet. still, a really fun game, even if it does render horrendously slowly on a meager K6-2 300. the slow mo sure is entertaining, though.
moox. for a new generation.
You mean similarities with the ICQ Prank at Something Awful :
5
http://www.somethingawful.com/article.php?id=28
...before this can be added as a plug-in to Grand Theft Auto III?
Be excellent to each other. And... PARTY ON, DUDES!
I fully expected to see some sort of Jethro jokes by now ;-)
Jetro/Jethro? :)
Assembly is a bit fancier than Basic. As a result, you have to write in on your computer and then send it over to your TI-83+ by means of a link cable. I've never done it, because my link cable is stupid, but its defitally a good way to get writing programs. TI-BASIC isn't so bad though if you just wanna program little junk programs for fun.
"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." -- Hanlon's Razor
Of course, aside from the extra included RAM and higher speed, the HP49 sucked in every possible way compared to the HP48. I really wish they had gotten to release a true successor to the 48... Hate Carly forever!
TO BUY A NEW CAR WOULD MAKE YOU SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Push him down an up escalator and the program will never stop running.
-----
Sorry, I'm only a 1336 h4x0r.
He has gone down the stairs.
Pak Chooie uNF.
Zech Harvey, MCSE, MCDBA, CCNA
If we just accept everything that works great on WINE, then why would anyone bother writing applications for linux?
Often, you can throw a programmer out of Windows, but you can't throw the Windows out of the programmer. A Windows app will in most cases recompile just fine for a *n?x system using Winelib. Thus, I accept Winelib as just another widget set, analogous to GTK+ or Qt.
Winelib on Cygwin... sick.
Will I retire or break 10K?
don't suppose it's easily ported to PowerPC, eh? Is there GNU Autoconf for assembly?
four nine eighteen twenty-7 thirty-nine forty-7 fiftyeight sixty-nine seventy-9 eighty-8 one-hundred-and-nine one-twenty
I think we just pushed his webserver down the stairs.
Great. First of all, porrasturvat was attacked by the forum goons on somethingawful, forcing them to redo the rules slightly (there was a great "cheat" where you could make the guy fall on his leg and stick there, racking up hundreds of thousands of points). Now they're going to get the slashdot readers going at it too?
:D
They could make a lot if they put this game up for sale. It's sooo much fun!
You've got mail. Pattern baldness. - Crow
I've been doing this for years on my own...
I knew I should have applied for that patent
Creationists are a lot like zombies. Slow, but powerful and numerous. And they all want to eat our brains.
Apparently, any similarity between this game and the Terrible Secret of Space is entirely coincidental
Is the similarity that they both are unavailable due to massive slashdotting?
506 Tuck in!
9903. Try to fall from the stairs without breaking anything!
I bet Stewie the baby would have loved this simulation...
If only he didn't try knocking his Mum down the stairs on the day that Death was incapacitated due to a twisted ankle. Although sawing the leg off the Armoir (making it fall on top of her) and the grenade to finish things off would have been another simulation in itself!
Are you local? There's nothing for you here!
good to see you interested, but as always google is your friend
No we don't! We need to encourage people to write reasonably cross platform code. I've been bitten too many times by people handing me code that they say is for UNIX yet for some inexplicable reason uses /proc features that one can only find in Linux. Remember - there are some good cross platform graphics etc libs - use them!
...that isn't /.'ed.
p ac e.html
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/secretofs
_sig_ is away
Ever try to get him to fly off the back of the stairs?
Xaotik Designs
63779 here, top score of 107893.
Some interesting values:
Heading: 357.89
Pitch: -50.47
Heading: 358.75
Pitch: -51.90
Try varying amounts of power, so that he doesn't fall as fast initially. Sometimes, his head (which can rack up the most damage points) will actually hit upwards of 4 times on the stairs, depending on values used.
I'd be interested in other peoples' results, who are also into martial arts, such as Akido. This demo illustrates precisely why some forms of martial arts can be quite deadly, when delivered correctly.
user@host$ diff
66314 ;)
:)
Method: Hard hit from behind to the back in an(about) 45 degrees upwards angle.
Download game ZIP
Download EXE installer
Mirror provided by Mr HOSTBOT
RudeDude
Perl/Linux/PHP hacker
That's so obsfucated that it might almost compile as real assembly...
:-)
Now we know where the game came from
/* FUCK - The F-word is here so that you can grep for it */
(He's gone, shew.) Handrails and doorknobs would be a plus. You could include some quirky plot, make it like Thief. You have to sneak around the office, driven by some unexplainable urge to shove people down stairs. Leave it unexplainable and focus on gameplay. If there's a witness, you get caught, game over. If the victim isn't hit hard enough in the head, he can tell people what happened, game over. And of course, powerups!
I believe its /.ed right now. Here is a mirror of the files themselves.
zip file
Executable (windows)
--sig fault--
Current high score here: 126994
Force: 6 bars
Heading: 37.24
Pitch: 48.41
Almost fell out of my chair when I saw his head pop off for a second, after he hit the side of the stairs!
Stefan.
The truth shall make you fret. (Ankh-Morpork tImes motto)
If you push him on a foot (I've just done the left) in the proper directoin you can get the amazing man to fall UP the stairs. Low damage, like 2K, but cool to watch.
"If a quarter is two bits, then a dollar's a byte." -R Deric Miller
Having played with the ODE...
:)
The parent article is quite correct. If you're doing any solid-body physics based stuff, ODE rocks. Combine it with SDL and OSG and you have the basic tools to produce some really cool stuff. Throw in the Demeter Terrain Engine if you want a bit of scenery to go with it. I've tied all four together for experimenting with what makes a good driver interface for a hovertank.
The Stair-dismount makes good use of joints, and collision detection features of ODE - but even if you don't need these, the force model of ODE is a lot of fun to play with on its own. But if you *are* ambitious, it has specialised joint and suspension-spring models for doing things like wheeled vehicles pretty easily.
With all these tools available under LGPL, those of you like me - who don't like writing a graphics/physics engine so much as actually writing cool simulations with said engines - have a much better point to start from than even 2 years ago.
Slightly off-topic, but Unreal Tournament 2003 simulates the same sort of physics when you die. Your body becomes a "ragdoll" and the maps provide many (otherwise inexplicable) pits full of crisscrossing bars and fan blades for your hapless corpse to fall through.
You know, that sounds like a great idea. Is there any fighting games with real physics like this? One in which you could break the opponent's arm, for example, make him/her fall differently depending on where you hit, and things like that?
...is Grandma protected?
-- 7 string electric violin + live loop samplers
Do not trust the Pusher Robot. I am here to protect you.
-
If the application works under WINE, then it *IS* an application for Linux. Unless of course you are under the belief that Microsoft is somehow the *OWNER* of certain bit sequencesIf we just accept everything that works great on WINE, then why would anyone bother writing applications for linux?
It kinda reminds me of watching my 401k plan for the past year.
All Troll + "offtopic" mods are meta moderated as "Unfair", because you abused the system.
okay, so here's about where to cheat
212.18
75.87
the foot on the right (his left foot)
-1 full force
my highest score this way is 173737
I got a 14...
Force: 1 bar, 288.30, -84.56, torso
Basically, it looked like he slowly sat down than decided to take a nap. I replayed it 5 or so times and it's still hilarious.
Next time I fall down stairs, it's gonna be 1 bar, 288.30 degrees, -84.56 pitch, and it'll be due to a force on my torso.
--- We need more Ron Paul!
kekekekeke^
--Purple lightning. That's always a good sign.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Its not all that bad - my assembly code in a CPU identifier works fine on both Intel Pentiums / IVs / XVVIIIIIs, and AMD processors. You just have to make sure that you depend on use of any processor specific features unless you know exactly what processor you're running on and have a backup for other processors that don't support that feature.
Iain
---- "I would be careful in separating your weirdness, a good quirky quantum weirdness, from the disturbed weirdnes
Object: Application of network traffic vectors to physical web servers connected by links with constrained bandwidth resources, and observing their impact against response time. Or, more colloquially... you push a million /. readers at a website and see how much damage it takes.
Here's my simulation of someone falling down a circular staircase. [.avi, 1.5MB]. Note that there's less "boink" than with impulse/constraint simulators; the bounces take several frames, rather than being instantaneous. That's because Falling Bodies is a spring/damper system, which produces better results. Takes more cycles, though.
Now everybody does falling downstairs as a demo for physics engines. I've created a cliche, like the old "teapot" graphics test.
More videos.
(Most of these videos are encoded with the Intel Indeo codec, which Intel discontinued, but you can still get it from Ligos. I should convert that material to another codec. What would you suggest that will work five years from now?)
The pusher robot always says shove, and the shover robot always says push.
By the way, any resemblance of the United States political system to "The terrible secret of space" is also a coincidence.
i have lost days of otherwise productive work to this damn game. first it was geting a max 0Heading 0Pitch game. (80,000 odd) then it was getting no damage at all. then it was getting over 600,000. (645,449 then 669,165 then 672,169) thats not skill that just shear perseverance. yes u have to use angles like 179Heading and 79 Pitch.
"Maybe with some divine intervention, the next version of Microsoft's OS will actually be good." - Linus Torvalds
Those little demos are so neat, based on former years.
I especially like the 'cram as much cool stuff in as few bytes as possible' sections, like 4k or 256B.
"Nine times out of ten, starting a fire is not the best way to solve the problem." - my wife
Push on the right foot (his left) with 1 power and the following:
Heading: 180.48
Pitch: -50.37
"Communism is like having one [local] phone company " - Lenny Bruce
103364, straight down the center.
Body part: Head
Force: 2/3
Pitch: 40
Heading: 360
Make him bounce down the stairs on his head for big points!
You might want to look at its page on pouët, the group's other work, other games from the demoscene and some other stuff.
:)
But be nice, don't slashdot the scene.org servers that pouët is hosted on
I have made a couple of the more popular mixes made of the Terrible Secret of Space (Down the Stairs Mix, Protected Mix). The guy who did the original song truly is the Laziest Man on Mars, I've been pestering him since Terrible's heyday to add me to his MP3.com page. If he thought my stuff sucked all that bad, he could at least compose a two word "fuck off" email. :) In other news, my my sig is eerily on-topic today.
Error: PANTS NOT FOUND. Press <F1> to continue.
Goddamn! A game that is genuinely _challenging_!
Now how will I get any work done?
I've got you beat. 89,984.
One mod up for funny and it gets modded down overrated... You're standing by the stairs, aren't you! Aren't you! No wait! You might be a Space Robot! You stay away from me, Space Robot! I don't want to be protected from the Terrible Secret of Space, I don't want to go down the stairs, I do not want to be shoved outside in the snow. I do not want snow pushed on top of me.
And that goes double for the Republican and Democrat Pusher and Shover Robots.
got a 0!
used your settings but kicked him at 2 bars..
look at the color of the arrow, click when its less red
Did you try to patent Newton law as well? Or maybe kick in the butt? People like you who make this patent system absurd. Fuck you.
<^>_<(ô ô)>_<^>
this one isn't so slashdotted:
p ac e.html
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/secretofs
Damnit man!! I was just discussing doing that very thing with the guys at work, and here I find somebody else thought of it first. I've never done any mod work, but I'll certainly look into it this weekend. If anybody has done anything before, let me know-- I'm happy to help anywhere, and grateful for advice/examples to work from.
Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Somebody beat me now!!
I'm convinced the laser/girder pit in the Bombing Run games was inspired by Porrasturvat. I want UT 2003 modded for it, dammit! :)
"To pass through the jungle; silence, courtesy, ferocity, as the occasion demands." -- Kamau, "Proper Passage"
In the course of reading Hadamard's "The Psychology of Invention in the ..." Hadamard refers ..." and gives the following, very revealing quote:
Mathematical Field", I have come across evidence supporting a fact
which we coffee achievers have long appreciated: no really creative,
intelligent thought is possible without a good cup of coffee. On page
14, Hadamard is discussing Poincare's theory of fuchsian groups and
fuchsian functions, which he describes as "... one of his greatest
discoveries, the first which consecrated his glory
to Poincare having had a "... sleepless night which initiated all that
memorable work
"One evening, contrary to my custom, I drank black coffee and
could not sleep. Ideas rose in crowds; I felt them collide
until pairs interlocked, so to speak, making a stable
combination."
Too bad drinking black coffee was contrary to his custom. Maybe he
could really have amounted to something as a coffee achiever.
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