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Ellen Feiss Interview
An anonymous reader writes "The Wait is over! Ellen Feiss's interview is up! And she really was on drugs, (well, allergy meds.)" She's, like, going to be traumatized about this forever, like.
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Hell, the server's been slashdotted within minutes of posting! How much more pain can you take?
can type in the article from the 'paper paper', since that will probably be faster than waiting for this server to recover?
four nine eighteen twenty-7 thirty-nine forty-7 fiftyeight sixty-nine seventy-9 eighty-8 one-hundred-and-nine one-twenty
Seems this interview has already been slashdotted. It was like a server. And then it went beep. beep. beep. And all the webpage was gone. It was a really good server too.
That site was, like, kinda totally slashdotted before anyone had posted a reaply, like /penhead
An anonymous reader writes "The Wait is over! Ellen Feiss's interview is up! And she really was on drugs, (well, allergy meds.)" She's, like, going to be traumatized about this forever, like.
This is Slashdot. Now that the server is down, the wait is just beginning...
Oh wait, it's still (sluggishly) responding. I'll repost it (somewhat) anonymously.
Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.
Like, if you're a brain dead-teen, like, with the linguistic skills of a Klingon, like, and, like, you hit the delete button at the wrong time, like, cause you're thinking about what your girlfriends are gonna wear to school, like, and you write papers on the use of the word like, like, then
maybe you are the typical Mac user, like?
Interesting market demographic....
Here's a Mirror for you!
Sorry, couldn't resist. Can someone post a mirror of the article please? ;)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Friends don't let friends enable ecmascript.
She says "like", like 28 times. I like counted.
I agree! Apple has Ellen Feiss, linux people have Alan Cox and Richard Stallman, neither of whom are too appealing.
What we need to do is wait until Ellen's mac goes bleep, bleep and then shove a slackware cd into her hands. Then she can do commercials for linux.
The funny thing was, I was on drugs! I was on Benedryl, my allergy medication, so I was really out of it anyway. That's why my eyes were all red, because I have seasonal allergies. But no one believes me.
Mmmhmm.
Look, Ellen, I've done a lot of dope during my day. Bunch. Used to grow it, in fact. And I've taken Benadryl, too.
Not once has Benadryl made people think I'm high. Never. I've taken Benadryl, gone to work, nobody even knew. Weed makes people think I'm high. The bloodshot eyes, the lazy movements, the relaxed jaw and speaking style. Fuck, you're wearing a cotton pullover with a hood. Comfy clothes, man. Comfy clothes are all you care about wearing when you're stoned. Detective Rev. says that you were high as a fucking kite but can't admit it because you'll get in trouble.
Can't blame you, but can't believe you, either.
...you mean, that the the advertisment DIDNT use real people telling real stories ?! My god, they should fire all those advertising types because they mislead people...
Hello? McFly?
damnit, now im gonna have to go back to chasing Natalie Portman with a bowl full of grits.
Pay attention now mods, this is an attempt at HUMOR, not a troll, or flamebait, or offtopic. Thank you.
All Troll + "offtopic" mods are meta moderated as "Unfair", because you abused the system.
- I'd Hit It!
- Jailbait
- Jailbait...but I'd hit it!
- She breathed on me and I got so high
- Only if Cowboy Neal hit it first
Vote now, vote often because the results are as dubious as Ellen's sobriety anyway."Oh, whatever, I think it's kind of funny. These people don't have lives..."
What's that sound? Ah yes, the sound of 1000 slashdotters being stabbed through the heart.
Well, at least Natalie Portman still loves you.
Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder.
Are you OK with all the Web sites, and people walking around wearing your face on their T-shirts?
Oh, whatever, I think it's kind of funny. These people don't have lives.
That's it, I'm taking this T-shirt off. And you can have my mug back.
I just can't get into the swing of the whole "Ellen Feiss" thing. I've invested WAAAY too much time, money, and effort into the "Natalie Portman/Hot Grits" movement to switch now.
Natalie Portman Forever!!! (*waves pennant feebly*)
BlackBolt
What does that tell you?
That everyone hates their PC?
Brown Daily: Good morning Ellen.
Ellen Feiss: yo mannnn...
BD: How was your time working with Apple?
EF: Do you.. like.. have any crack?
BD: umm..
EF: Apple gave me crack.. it was.. like.. really good crack.
BD: Let's talk about your upbringing.
EF: It was.. like.. gone..
BD: Your upbringing was "gone"?
EF: nooooo.. the crack at Apple.. it was like.. really good crack..
BD: OK, well then let's talk about Apple. Did you meet Steve Jobs?
EF: It was really.. good crack.
[the above story is fictional..]
Trolling is a art,
In the year 2000:
What if Ellen Feiss and the Dell Dude mated?
What?
No crap, put "like" in your google bar and hit highlight. It's scary!
Do not meddle in the affairs of sysadmins, for they are subtle, and quick to anger.
You know when you've become a geek icon when you've become a reference in Fox Trot
I wish my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself.
"We didn't think we were going to make ads; we were just going to get the free set food."
Sounds like someone had a hit of the munchies...
"I got shuttled down to New York, and I got VIP seating, and I was like, "Wow, I'm at the Oscars or something," but then I was like, "No, I'm at Macworld.""
:-)
"I also got a call from the Farrelly Brothers. They were like, "You know we really like your ad," so they wrote down my name or something."
"Supposedly, though, my agent is "floating my image," quote unquote. I don't know what the hell that means."
Kids...
Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
When Apple asked Ellen "What do you like? FreeBSD?" Ellen though they said "What do you like? Freebasing?" and hired her on the spot.
Trolling is a art,
Classic parodies of Ellen Feiss
Seems like you're not the first to ask this. From the interview, and I quote:
"What a weird question. They'd probably be blond."
-- james
So I was on slashdot, composing the greatest troll in the world, and the post comment form was like "slow down cowboy", "invalid formkeys", "you're using too many caps, it's like yelling", "lameness filter encountered, post aborted", and I was like "hunhhhhh?"
/switched to kuro5hin.
And then when I hit the back key to try to repost my whole troll was gone.
And it was... like.... a bummer.
I'm A. Troll, and I
Even Wired beat you to the punch. Don't be so quick to assume that the 403 you see has anything to do with you.
You must be new here huh. They call it the "Slashdot effect" right?? Not the "Wired Effect". We've been launching legal DOS attacks since 1999. Get with the times buddy.
ghuy'. You dishonor me?!? I will drink the blood from your carcass insolent fool.
http://www.kli.org/tlh/newwords.html
Hey, when you can't beat em...
WHY THE FUCK YOU ALL AREN'T DOING SOMETHING MORE PRODUCTIVE, like, say, WORKING right now
After you? Or do you work as Slashdot Troll Master?
Don't you all have stuffed penguins to fuck or something?
No, it's much more funny to let them drink until they pass out.
Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
"Dude, you're getting a BOY!"
Karma: Chevy Kavalierma.
"Dude, you're getting a CELL!" ?
Join the Free Software Foundation
I got shuttled down to New York, and I got VIP seating, and I was like, "Wow, I'm at the Oscars or something," but then I was like, "No, I'm at Macworld."
That's how everybody feels at Macworld, sweetheart...
teeker
I find it really, really pathetic that people are obsessing about a person in a commercial. JEsus, fetishizing commercials? For a group of people that are anti-big company, anti-commercial softweare, it's pretty damn hypocritical that a person who shows up in a fucking corporate commercial is being obsessed over. It's a commercial. Ignore it. Get on with your lives. Jesus, talk about commercialism gone rampant. Geeks hate commercialsm from big company X, but eat it up if it's from big company Y. That's like saying "I hate those nasty, big, soul-killing companies like Wal-Mart. But have you seent hat new K-Mart ad? It's so cool!"
And quicktime like, crashed my Intel PC. Safety through tight control is bad and that's what Apple is all about.
"It's one thing to dupe your parents, but if this chick thinks we are going to believe shes not a stoner, she must be on dope. Just check out the photo. http://primeous.homestead.com/files/bondgirl2.jpg"
So, I was like making a really bad photo edit of Ellen Feiss, and then my computer went beepbeepbeepbeepbeep, and then I lost it. The computer devoured my really bad photo edit. So I had to start completely over, and I was rushed, and it wasn't as good. Which is saying a lot, 'cause the first one was crap.
Kierthos
Mr. Hu is not a ninja.
like, really.
There must be nothing scarier than being stalked by the Mac community ...
Right.
Who?
-- Note: If you don't agree with me, don't bother replying. I won't read it.
Who wants spoilers?! I have spoilers! You want to hear a spoiler! Ok here it goes... You will die alone.
Warning - if you have a soft place in your heart for cute goofy stoner chicks
Doesn't everyone have a soft place for cute goofy stoner chicks?
I just assumed that was a universal maxim, like how art on sci-fi magazines and novels has nothing to do with the stories to be found inside, or how mice, no matter how optical, self cleaning, nanotech, will always need to be cleaned at the crucial moment of the game winning frag...
I am disrespectful to dirt! Can you see that I am serious?!
I'm not so sure. According to the interview:
It was a really, really good paper.
But she like said it was really, really good! Like how good is that Milton dude anyway. He's probably just, I don't know, only like really good.
The answer to your miseries is rather simple: teach your kid to do his own goddamn re-installs! ;)
-- Waht? Tehr's a preveiw buottn?
Pitchbabe for Dayquil--"and I was going to a commercial, but my head on the cold medications was like, beep, beep, beep so my speech went zoink--it would have been a good commercial."
Reminded me of Foxtrot:
Link
Ellen: "So I like took this pregnancy test and it was like *beep* *beep* *beep*!"
Dell Dude: "Dude, you're getting an abortion!"
-FF
(Going to hell for that one...)
SQUEAK, the Death of Rats explained.
Actually, I just got an email from my boss. Uh oh. He wants me to 'work late'!
Let me explain in hex...
B00B5
Did Apple compensate you for the commercial at all?
I'm not actually sure how much I got paid because it was in installments, and the whole contract was dealt with by my parents, so I'm not actually sure. Oh, and I got an iPod. It's like the coolest thing ever.
Only a geek would shrug aside money for an iPod!
But I guess I've seen stoners fascinated by shiny things though....
Hey, those Linux guys are more interesting than you might think....
grep -ri 'should work'
In a brilliant PR move, Apple has trademarked the word "Like" and is sending cease and desist letters on behalf of their new IP acquisition. The question of prior art has arisen, though the only clear contenders, Moonunit Zappa and "My So Called Life" have yet to respond at the time of this posting. Film at 11.
Zech Harvey, MCSE, MCDBA, CCNA
And for those who've had just a few American stereotypes too many, you can indulge in John's switch to Canada, eh?
Wah!
Do you realize what this means?
/. people actually read the article BEFORE posting.
For ONCE in the history of
Holy shit...
-- El Sacarino tiene gusto de la chocha
Please don't post spoilers without indication in the subject line. The interview has not yet been released in zimbabwe, so some of us have not been able to read it yet.
That's the last straw. Did we really need to know the destination of your oral fluids???
I'm now officially declaring a JIHAD on those spawns of satan, Joke Congratulation Posts.
Jokes? Fine. I've no problem with them. A lot of jokes on slashdot are at least a good attempt at being amusing. But joke congratulation posts? Whether satirical or straight, they just blow goats.
I'm sorry. I'm now going on a one-man crusade to mark all joke congratulation posts, irrespective of their origin, as -1 Overrated. You may call me sad and pathetic, you may call me strange - but I retort that those who post Joke Congratulation Posts are even sadder!
Female Prison Rape in NY
why do i have this weird feeling that Benadryl is gonna be out of stock from marts very soon .
'She's on drugs.'
No she's not; she's thinking. Go get her a Pepsi.
.........
She's not cazy!
Institutionalized!
It is cowardly, and a betrayal of whatever it means to be a Jew, to act as a white man
-James Baldwin
Um, excuse me for a minute, but this is Slashdot. Your post mentions switching away from Windows (good) but fails to mention the word "Linux" once! What gives?
Oh yeah, and your math's flawed. 5 computers that need reinstalling at a minimum of twice a year means a minimum of 10 reinstalls a year, not 7. Maybe your Calculator needs a reinstall.
--
"Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos." - Homer Simpson [1F10]
She looked pretty hot in Spiderman though....
Yeah, her nipples were like two stacks of dimes....
Don't mind me. Too much Benadryl...
Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.
They have the ability to produce thousands of tons of soylent green if they wanted to.
it's like, a bummer :-)
All you have to do is make sure they only mash on the numbers and the shift key, for punctuation. Then your child can win the obfuscated perl contest.
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
Please grow up, or at least wait for HER to...
... there is no spoon
Ellen Feiss is a lot like most 15-year-olds
Fifteen? Why God...? WHY!!! I thought I had found my dream girl, but she's just jail bait.
Instead, I recommend Janie Porche. She's literate and smiles.
However, she once cheered after reading a Jon Katz article, and thus is clearly incompatible with most Slashdotters.