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Company Christmas Gifts / Bonuses?

Posted by michael on from the lump-of-coal dept.

A wisely anonymous reader writes "Following my company's Christmas party on Friday, I found myself the proud recipient of... a bobble head doll of the company CEO! Needless to say I was PISSED. They didn't even comp. parking at the site of the party, let alone a bonus. yeah, yeah, times are tough. I should be happy just to have a job. but getting a damn doll of the guy who made 65 million last year just makes me angry. So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?"

114 of 1,249 comments (clear)

  1. Work by jbf · · Score: 4, Funny

    Enough to be stuck in the office on a Sunday evening.

  2. iPod!!! by TiMac · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I don't know what I'll get (if anything), but what I *want* is an iPod. Go to the Apple Store and click on iPod....it seems Apple offers discounts on iPods for companies that give them as gifts! C'mon boss!!!!

    --

    1. Re:iPod!!! by rhombic · · Score: 5, Funny

      Maybe they should give out staplers?

      And if not, maybe matches?

      --
      1984 was supposed to be a warning, not an instruction manual.
    2. Re:iPod!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      He clearly works in 1998.

  3. voodoo by doofusclam · · Score: 5, Funny

    Use it as a voodoo doll and stick pins in the wretched thing!

    1. Re:voodoo by saskboy · · Score: 5, Funny

      I'd sell it on eBay. It could turn into a lot of money after all.

      Hey, I managed to sell an empty, used, chewed BIC pen. CEO bobble heads could be pricesless...

      --
      Saskboy's blog is good. 9 out of 10 dentists agree.
    2. Re:voodoo by CerebusUS · · Score: 5, Funny

      How about this:

      Hang it in effigy. Get a bunch of your co-workers to do the same, hang about 20 of them in effigy from coat hangers.

      If anyone asks, it's a mobile.

    3. Re:voodoo by macdaddy357 · · Score: 5, Informative

      A bobblehead of the boss! Has anyone submitted this to pud@fuckedcompany.com? The poster should, and should name the company and CEO. I am surprised nobody has gone postal over such an insult. I wonder if that bobblehead would still look cute shoved sideways up the boss's ass? Does anyone know the name of the company who did this?

      --
      How ya like dat?
  4. Christmas bonus - why? by ColdGrits · · Score: 5, Insightful

    So what makes you think you shoudl have the automatic right to DEMAND a Christmas "bonus"?

    What exactly have you done that is so special and above what you are paid to do that justifies your expectation of extra pay purely because it is december?

    Genuine question.

    --
    People should not be afraid of their governments - Governments should be afraid of their people.
    1. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by lordscarlet · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I believe the issue is that money was spent on him, but it was worthless. He would much rather see money on his paycheck than a bobblehead of the CEO that is going straight into the garbage.

    2. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Two things:

      1.) A lot of salaried people work a whole helluva lot of overtime, especially towards the end of the year. They don't get overtime or anything for this because it's just 'part of their job'. It's not unreasonable to want to get a bit of compensation for that extra work.

      2.) There are some companies who are doing better now-a-days (like mine) than they were a year ago. This is often a result of hard workers within the company. Reward us.

      I never expect one, but I'm pleasantly surprised if I do get one.

    3. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by s20451 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      By any chance have you read this? It might answer your question.

      --
      Toronto-area transit rider? Rate your ride.
    4. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by LostCluster · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Distributing a bobblehead of the CEO is self-serving of the CEO rather than anything that is of value to the employees.

      Whatever they spent on the design and making of such thing has to be seen as wasted spending. It did not relate the the product of the company, and it likely hurt the company's ability to retain employees.

      The Christmas bonus is a concept in which the owners of the company give to the employees money that they don't have to because that giving inspires goodwill between the employees and the company. Employees who like their present employer are less likely to start looking for ways to jump to the competition or into another field.

      For the company to say "Sorry, times are tough, we can't afford a bonus/party/gift" is acceptable if it's true. For the CEO to flaunt his ability to spend company money on his own image while saying that times are tough is an action that is so loud it drowns out his words.

    5. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful
      Okay, nice troll.While I can definitely agree with your sentiment, consider this:

      What did the CEO do that is so special that it creates his/her expectation of 6-figure salaries with use of company assets and a golden parachute regardless of the time of year?

      Are they that much better educated or hard working? Probably not. Are they really that good of a manager? Probably not. It's hard not to be lazy when you have a staff of assistants and your leather chair and hardwood desk are so comfy after that prime rib lunch today...

      Maybe if people were simply paid better for the work they DO, they wouldn't be behind on bills and expect a bonus just to make ends meet.I don't buy the whole "times are tough" bullshit when stuff like this goes on. I'm talking about hooking people up with less than a $1000 to show some appreciation for those who stick around and put up with company politics, backstabbing, and egos.

      Yeah, I'm sure the childless, single people with no responsibilities will chime in with suggestions about better managing finances...but you folks are obviously more readily able to absorb unforseeable hits on your pocketbook because you aren't paying for daycare. health insurance, etc. So what if you have to buy 20 less lattes this month and can't afford that new masturbatory turbo video card. Oh, my bleeding heart...

    6. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by vistic · · Score: 5, Funny
      Whatever they spent on the design and making of such thing has to be seen as wasted spending. It did not relate the the product of the company, and it likely hurt the company's ability to retain employees.

      Hey, he never said where he works. Maybe he works for a bobblehead making company.

    7. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by aggieben · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I agree. Some newbie marketing drone probably came up with it. More likely, a newbie marketing drone's intern came up with it, the marketing drone stole the idea and kept the intern's christmas bonus.

      --
      Don't become a regular here, you will become retarded. -- Yoda the Retard
    8. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by Resident_Geek · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Finally someone with the clarity of mind to understand the problem. Thank you. To extend his point. Why should a CEO be paid in the millions for what he does. There is no justification for those high salaries especially when the company is hurting. And it is almost never the average Joe Blow actually on the phone lines/assembly lines/etc that is responsible for the poor performance. But they are the ones that have to shoulder the burden. If the company is doing bad, then the owners and management should take paycuts long before the low employees have to. If you don't agree then look at it this way. How much would your respect for your boss change if your boss took a paycut and you didn't have to. That is real leadership. I say this as the owner and CEO of my own small company. My people are always eager to put my needs first because I always put them first. Put another way, it is the Golden Rule.

    9. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by dcocos · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Yeah, I'm sure the childless, single people with no responsibilities will chime in with suggestions about better managing finances...
      but you folks are obviously more readily able to absorb unforseeable hits on your pocketbook because you aren't paying for daycare. health insurance, etc. So what if you have to buy 20 less lattes this month and can't afford that new masturbatory turbo video card. Oh, my bleeding heart...

      Just because YOU and partner, made the choice to have children is not a reasonable justification for the lack of fiscal responsibility. Perhaps instead of me buying twenty less lattes this month you should of had the fore sight to learn about birth control.

      It also insenses me that you have the nerve to make it seem like companies favor childless, single people. I've received many an e-mail from my employers about Halloween parties for children of employees or Santa visiting, those dollars spent could go to my salary or a nice party for the "Adults"

      As far as being able to absorb unforseeable hit to the pocket book. I'm sure that "S/he has a family to support" has influenced many a layoff.

    10. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by amoups · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Why should a CEO be paid in the millions for what he does.

      In Japan, it is illegal for the lowes-paid employee in any given company to be paid less than a specified percentage of the highest-paid employee. It's a bit of a socialist tendency, but there's definitely some thought behind the law.

      --
      Society doesn't turn on a dime, but if enough people lean on the steering wheel long enough, it can negotiate a curve.
    11. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by 0x0d0a · · Score: 3, Interesting

      What did the CEO do that is so special that it creates his/her expectation of 6-figure salaries with use of company assets and a golden parachute regardless of the time of year?

      Uh...he expects it because he negotiated said deal when he was getting hired. If you feel that you can negotiate similar perks, go for it.

      Are they that much better educated or hard working? Probably not. Are they really that good of a manager? Probably not. It's hard not to be lazy when you have a staff of assistants and your leather chair and hardwood desk are so comfy after that prime rib lunch today...

      Whether or not CEOs deserve their pay is up to debate (I suspect they don't, and that the reason that they get paid so highly is because they frequently know/are friends with members of the board). However, that has nothing to do with expectations *after* their contract is signed.

      I don't buy the whole "times are tough" bullshit when stuff like this goes on. I'm talking about hooking people up with less than a $1000 to show some appreciation for those who stick around and put up with company politics, backstabbing, and egos.

      "I deserve extra because I worked here and interacted with people." What?

      --
      May we never see th
    12. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by gwernol · · Score: 5, Informative

      How much would your respect for your boss change if your boss took a paycut and you didn't have to. That is real leadership.

      The small/medium sized company I work for had a hard start to 2002. Our CEO took a 20% pay cut and the rest of the senior management team (the VP level people) took a 10% pay cut. All other salaries were frozen. This does happen in the real world. For every idiot boss who thinks his folks want a bobblehead of him, there are many good bosses who know how to survive rough times.

      My company is now doing better and 2003 should be a great improvement.

      --
      Sailing over the event horizon
    13. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Interesting

      This is more a comment on your comments, not the bobblehead story. I think it was utterly idiotic for them to give out bobbleheads.

      But the reasons you mention are THE reasons why I run a company that has and continues to put more and more emphasis on automation. I no longer want workers. Seriously. Workers whine. They make excuses. They bitch when *I* start a company, put in a couple years of 80-100 hour weeks working alone, never take a vacation, and then when I take them on, they bitch they should be earning $30/hour instead of their $20 or point to the Mercedes as the reason they "have low salaries".

      It's my company. I started it. I still put in 70 hour weeks. I hired because I thought I was doing the area some good with increasing jobs. $40,000 a year to hire or the trouble and maintenance in the equipment that does something similar, I went for the hire. Boy was I wrong. What a freakin pain in the ass employees are. I was heavy into automation before, but had a handful of easy, well-paying jobs that workers just continue to fuq up.

      You put them first? Good for you. Maybe your business depends on people to handle things. Mine is very simple and happens not to need to. (Simple, damn good product, little customer service needed--I am the customer service.)

      Don't need the grief, don't need to pay their retirement, or benefits, don't need the excuses, don't need to hire yet another person to hire (HR department) or handle the wages and taxes (accountants).

      And if you read the above as being "about the money", you misunderstand. Workers have tremendous "overhead" beyond money. Time. Hassle. The wages are not the problem--it's the time messing with their needs so much so that you are spending half your time worrying about worker related issues than the company. But, again, maybe you're company is based on the need for workers; mine happens not to be.

      I get pissed off when people compare their salary to a CEOs. Or a CEO touting how great they are to their workers (which seems largely similar to the $65 million/year CEO). I am not a CEO per se, but a business owner. But yeah, maybe the CEOs shouldn't be earning that. I'd rather see teachers earn that. But then I don't hear people bitch as much about teen pop stars. I see my workers spend their money on CDs and DVDs. Watch sports fanatically. Most of sports stars don't deserve their salaries. Doctors, scientists, trial lawyers, many do not deserve the outlandish sums of money (measured in 10s of millions a year, and if you think that's incorrect, you need to look into the top tiers of those professions) but are, admittedly, more deserving.

      And yet what do the workers complain about the most? Their boss. How much their boss makes. What their boss has. How much work they shoulder (I did their job and more previously when I started up; I know the work that it entails.). What crap.

      You want to give to your workers, good for you. It's probably unlikely you're going to auction off your car to keep an employee. You say take a pay cut so workers don't have to. Good for you. Odd that it wasn't take a pay cut so your workers get paid for. Even you have limits. Easily arguably better limits and criteria, but still limits.

      Me, I'm finishing up the automated packer. Investment? $20,000. Even the electric company in my area is getting rid of workers through automation--no more meter readers. It's all automated though the lines. Don't have to worry about wages/salaries or pensions. And that cost them $165 million, which they feel they are going to recoup in less than 20 years.

      You want more, good. But don't get pissed at me because I want something fair or the same, arguably by standards and time and sweat investment than you. Meanwhile, you accept the tiering and excessive incomes of Brittany, Justin, or Shaq, then bitch about your boss, you're a hypocrite.

    14. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

      You're naive.

      The CEO position is not a job really. It's a tier. It's a status symbol. It's a title.

      It has NOTHING to do with sweat equity, the harder you work, the more you get paid. It's about perceived worth. What connections you have. Who you can get to do what they do. What friends you have.

      Remove the CEO, and you'll find most companies will struggle, if not fold. It's been shown. A lot. Fortune 500 companies struggle during CEO transitions. It's far better to retain a CEO than do a search.

      As to you being childish, I bet you are. I bet nearly any traditional worker is here on /. bitching about salary inequities and work discrepancies had that CEO position, WOULD NOT BE WORKING. They'd have taken the $65 million, kept over 50% of it after taxes, and RETIRED or blown it.

      That's the difference between you and the CEO. Not substantial. And not of much substance. But if you swapped worker and CEO positions, the CEO would still get his work done, and the worker would cause the company to fail.

      That's why he earned an 8 figure income last year, and you a 6 figure. And frankly, I bet the $65 million/year CEO created or retained more jobs in one year than a basketbar star does for a professional sports organization.

    15. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by MrScience · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Ah, yes. Three years ago I was working in Hollywood as a Sr. Developer/Analyst. I had a contract for around $70/hour, and then the government messed up. That summer, all IT workers were no longer exempt... overtime was required to be paid. And, since we were working more than 80-hours a week, we were actually getting double time for a bit.

      Of course, they ended up working out a contract where we only changed up to time-and-a-half, so a few weeks I was told to shift hours around, but it was still pretty nice. And after a few months, emergency legislation was passed to put things back to "normal."

      --

      You quitting proves that the karma kap worked. The most annoying of the whores shut up. --CmdrTaco

    16. Re:Christmas bonus - why? by The+AtomicPunk · · Score: 4, Insightful

      The real problem to married couples with children isn't salaries, it's taxes.

      Nowadays, the tax rate is so oppressive one person has to work just to pay the tax burden.

      And yet, like the sheep that we are, we will continue voting for republicrats or demopublicans that'll just keep sticking it to us.

  5. If we're lucky... by jhughes · · Score: 5, Funny

    We wont get laid off

    1. Re:If we're lucky... by MicroBerto · · Score: 5, Funny

      Son, in times like these, you should be willing to take the secretary with the small tits as well!

      --
      Berto
    2. Re:If we're lucky... by G27+Radio · · Score: 3, Interesting

      We wont get laid off

      Seriously, I'm just happy to have a steady paycheck coming in, even though I'm only making 33% of what I was making two years ago. Also, I'm happy to be back working at an IT job and not working in a liquor store (that was a hellish six months I spent earlier this year.)

      Considering that we're a start up company and I'm the only one that actually works full-time for the company I didn't really even expect a bonus -- the owner isn't even collecting a salary yet.

      However, my boss, cool guy that he is, used his frequent flier miles to get me tickets to fly home for Christmas. Easily the best Christmas bonus I've received in 10+ years working in IT.

      I suppose the least I could do for him is plug our company on Slashdot. For webhosting and online project management check us out. Ugh, that sounds cheesy. Tis the season I suppose.

  6. Regiving by n3rd · · Score: 5, Funny

    Paint on some cuts, bruises and put a bunch of blood around the neck like he was decapitated. Then give it back to him.

    Maybe he'll get the message then.

  7. A bobble head CEO doll? by RealBeanDip · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Gimme a freakin' break!!! I can't imagine what goes through someones head to think that someone else might possibly want a bobble head doll in their likeness!

    --

    You know you're a geek if you've ever replied to a tagline.

  8. What I got by Joe+Jordan · · Score: 5, Funny

    . So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?

    the shaft.

  9. I got a quarter bag... by NineNine · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... and a new "tobacco water pipe". Of course, I am the boss. I just hope that I don't decide to start randomly drug testing myself.

  10. That BITES by nbvb · · Score: 3, Informative

    You know, it would've been better if they had given you nothing at all.

    Really. Suctitiude.

    What did we get for Christmas? Nothing. The company decided to host the annual "Holiday Party" (It's not a Christmas party, let's not be offensive!) in the company cafeteria.

    Feels like I'm back in high school .... I wouldn't go to that if they paid me for it.

    Instead, one of my vendors (a Sun reseller) is taking us out on a cruise around Manhattan island. Now *THAT'S* nice!

    And bonuses? We don't get holiday bonuses; instead we get "merit-based" bonuses at the end of the 1st quarter, based on our performance last year. My target is 10% of my salary, but my bonus typically ranges in the 5-6% range -- nobody ever gets their full target percentage. That wouldn't be fair to the bell curve!

    So I can't really complain. Sure, they went cheap on the holiday party, but my Sun sales rep & friends are the folks I want to have a few drinks with anyway! At least I'm still employed, and hopefully our 1Q bonuses will be good this year -- we had the best 3rd quarter on record, ever. Added 1.1 million customers ... not shabby :)

    --NBVB

  11. Count yourself lucky... by IamTheRealMike · · Score: 3, Interesting
    that you got anything at all.

    Where I work, I write software for all kinds of stuff, but get about 60p more per hour than when I was at the museum telling customers where the loos were. I have to work late each day next week to save up hours so we can have the afternoon off to go to a pub lunch. That is what we get for christmas. Nothing. Nada. No time off for the christmas lunch (which we are paying for). My dept isn't doing badly, but the others are finding it tough, hence the austerity measures.

  12. A New Computer!!!!! by jamesgregory · · Score: 3, Funny

    3 of my clients pitched in and got me a new computer! It must have been that overused excuse that 'my computer crashed' and 'that's why the work isn't done yet'. Guess I have been reading too much slashdot ;)

  13. lol by l33t-gu3lph1t3 · · Score: 5, Funny

    a pink slip, and the second thing i got in the mail was my tuition payment request. Dammit, I could've been a drug dealer for better pay, and hours, and perks...lol...

    --
    ------- "From bored to fanboy in 3.8 asian girls" ----------
  14. Let me guess... by moronga · · Score: 5, Funny

    I found myself the proud recipient of... a bobble head doll of the company CEO!

    You work for Oracle?

    1. Re:Let me guess... by utherdoul · · Score: 5, Interesting

      I write for a major technology magazine... any oracle employees who would like to vent in print about their cheezy bonus (anonymously, if you'd like) are encouraged to email me at dewalt@cmp.com

      hell, if you work in IT at all and want to vent about your bonus, send me an email.

      </self-interested plea>

  15. My bonus.. by questforme · · Score: 3, Interesting

    All I want for Christmas is a FREAKIN JOB!! Been out of work since September..

  16. As a Hall Kinnion Contractor I Got ... by johnatjohnytech · · Score: 5, Funny

    Fully Vested Stock Options at $7 a share.

    Now the stock is at 5.479

    Guess what they are offering this year for contractors who work over 100 hours this holiday season.....

    --
    I Encrypt My IM's
    1. Re:As a Hall Kinnion Contractor I Got ... by mindstrm · · Score: 3, Informative

      Cashing in options on insider info is totally illegal. That's insider trading, bud.

      Secondly, optoions are worth a lot, if the strike price is lower than market..
      Thirdly, if you have some issue with exercising them right away, GET A BETTER BROKER.

      If your broker has proof you have the options, he should have NO PROBLEM shorteslling the stock the second you call him to do it, and then you replace the short with your options. THAT is how you get current market price on options, without risk.

      Exercising options on the open market and then holding the stock is a BAD idea.... there is a taxable benefit on the difference between what you paid and fair market value of the stock. It's not considered capital gains.. which means if the stock goes down, you get a capital loss, but you can't offset your tax obligation.

      Go with the short.

  17. 2 Years ago, Last year, This year. by roseblood · · Score: 5, Interesting

    2 Years ago everyone (elves and management) had a nice banquet. Last year the elves got a $10 allowance to spend on the meal of choice at a local eatery (Red Lobster) while management were given a nicer banquet (ritz carlton) with an open bar. This year the elves got cards (we did get those the last 2 years as well) while management had a summer cruise for their "early xmas party" and a fully paid for meal/open bar at the local macarooni grill. Things get better for management, not so good for the elves.

    --
    There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.
    1. Re:2 Years ago, Last year, This year. by uncoveror · · Score: 5, Funny

      Elves? At Pomeroy IT Solutions, (PITS) we are called drones, and we get nothing. It is not just the economy, as we never got anything. They will probably verbally tell us we are all fired when they close the place, as printing pink slips would cost money.

      --
      The Uncoveror: It's the real news.
    2. Re:2 Years ago, Last year, This year. by Amiga+Trombone · · Score: 5, Funny

      Elves? At Pomeroy IT Solutions, (PITS) we are called drones, and we get nothing. It is not just the economy, as we never got anything.

      Where I work, we always get a bonus...

      ...every year, they bend us over and bone us!

    3. Re:2 Years ago, Last year, This year. by mstyne · · Score: 3, Funny

      ...every year, they bend us over and bone us!

      Yeah, that happens all the time at my job. But it comes with the territory.

      --
      mstyne: real name, no gimmicks
    4. Re:2 Years ago, Last year, This year. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      Elves? At Pomeroy IT Solutions, (PITS) we are called drones, and we get nothing. It is not just the economy, as we never got anything. They will probably verbally tell us we are all fired when they close the place, as printing pink slips would cost money.

      Drones, huh? Don't know what that means exactly, sounds kind of worrying to be honest. Maybe it is just as wierd down south as they keep telling us it is. Well, they call us elves, and there you are.

      Anyway we're kind of.. disconnected from the economy, as our good supply chains are kind of autonomous, so to speak. Policy changes mostly happen based on Management politics, the Big Boss will kind of stop paying attention to the actual workings for awhile and let middle management run things, and things will get worse for the workers, and then eventually he'll start taking an active interest and things will get better for us, as he isn't too fond of self-serving behavior. But, he's been very out of touch lately, so it goes.

      They don't ever really fire any of us because really, where would we go? There isn't anything else up at this part of the north pole, and they aren't just going to leave us outside to freeze. They could fire us, but then we'd just be hanging around the workshop outbuildings all the time, and it would be a bit of a nuisance. Easier to just keep us on the payroll and too busy to question things, than figure out what to do with us once we were off. Mostly they just put people down in the Wrapping department and forget about them when they don't want to hear from them.

      I dunno. I have a cousin who has connections down with Keebler, says they always have openings for elves and it's more dull but more along the lines of skilled labor, their operation is a bit more modernized than ours, as they're all mechanized and we still hand-make most things. So maybe i should try to start working out a way to get down there and get a job with them, a change would be nice. But, i'm happy with things overall, it just would have been nice to be treated to some more of those Red Lobster gift certificates once in awhile, they don't pay us so much.

      Speaking of which, i'd better get back to work. Crunch time's coming...

      Cheers,
      roseblood

    5. Re:2 Years ago, Last year, This year. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I know it's hard out there. People have jobs to support thier kids, work 18-20 hours a day 7 days a week. They are just barely getting by. Their bosses suck, treat them like jerks, and never show appreciation. Then some guy tries to tell them it can all be fixed if theyed just take some initiative, and they feel like telling them to go fsck themselves. It all boils down to this though. We live in a capitalistic(mostly) society. You can make something with hard work and ingenuity. There DOES exist nepotism and the old boys club and countless other societal institutions people create to make for themselves and not for others, trying to monopolize human resources. The answer is, was, and always will be hard work, intelligence, and a desire for the greater good. There are so many ways in which the fight of good versus evil occurs every day, and all of you people out there depressed, lonely, and needing to feed your kids while working 18 hours a day, remember, there ARE others of us out here trying to make things better.
      I saw a few small business owners trying to remind you that they are trying to be good bosses. And i saw a few people posting saying, "Hey those people do exist, and I work for one of them." Kudos to the bosses for being altruistic, and kudos to those employees recognizing that there is someone on their side and saying thank you out loud.
      I don't want to be a preacher, but really, as the richest nation on the planet, let's try to remember that we can still grow in richness of spirit of helping our fellow man. And that doesn't mean just giving money. I think the most important gift any person can give to our society is initiative. Maybe you don't like your job. But you could start a business on the side. Work together with other people you know who are also pissed about their jobs. Figure out little small things that each of you could give 30 minutes a day to and do it. Heck 30 minutes a week! Build lawn chairs! Start a community nursery. Invest in yourself, your future, your community, and your investment will be returned to you. And you can gaurantee it just by looking at it and saying, I am having fun for free doing this.

  18. Quit by fobbman · · Score: 5, Funny

    You got a BOBBLE-HEAD DOLL OF THE CEO?! Dude, I would so quit that place.

    Out of curiosity, where do you work? What are the benefits like? Would they pay to relocate?

    1. Re:Quit by mrseigen · · Score: 5, Funny
      You got a BOBBLE-HEAD DOLL OF THE CEO?! Dude, I would so quit that place.


      I'm sure he ran over it with his car in the parking lot. If anyone else got bobble-head dolls, you should smash them all with hammers, shove them in a box and fed-ex them to that fat bastard's office along with a note that says: "We made you. We can break you".

      Then just wait for the cops to show up.
    2. Re:Quit by rmohr02 · · Score: 4, Funny

      But for anybody to collect, they'd have to take the doll apart. What they should do is make a bobblehead for each employee and give it out in mid-December, then in mid-January tell the employees they can turn in their bobbleheads for a generous bonus. Of course, this will only work once.

  19. At least... by dr_dank · · Score: 3, Funny

    you didn't get a one year subscription to the jelly-of-the-month club.

    Which, IMHO, led to one of the best tirades in a motion picture.

    --
    Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
    1. Re:At least... by sconeu · · Score: 4, Funny

      You don't understand. When you get the KY jelly, you know your about to be fscked.

      --
      General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
  20. What the - ! by IIRCAFAIKIANAL · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Nothing entitles you to a christmas bonus, but nothing would have been better than a stupid toy. A bonus is a sign of respect for you as an employee and that shows a complete lack of respect.

    Considering how the economy is right now, I expect you will see a bunch of "you're lucky you have a job" flames.

    Incidently, I got turkey money - a gift certificate for a major supermarket chain. We usually get a bonus if the company sells a certain amount of product, but due to extenuating circumstances (drawn out price negotiations with a major customer which means we'll sell a lot of product next year but didn't hit our forecast at all this year) we won't be getting anything.

    And we're fighting off a hostile takeover right now, so I may just get a pink slip for christmas (or have to move to another city, if I'm lucky).

    Merry fucking Christmas everyone :)

    --
    Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel.
  21. Could be worse by Dukeofshadows · · Score: 4, Interesting

    My brother's boss is toying with the idea of having his staff working on Xmas day. He doesn't celebrate the holiday but they don't get off the holidays he celebrates either.

    --
    As long as there is a Second Amendment, there will always be a First Amendment.
  22. Could have been worse by egjertse · · Score: 5, Funny

    It could have been a life size doll!

    --
    ^]:wq!^M
  23. Why doesn't the CEO take a pay cut? by LostCluster · · Score: 5, Insightful

    It's hard for a leader to ask his followers to do anything that he isn't willing to do himself. How can a CEO credibily cut costs at the company when his own pay is $65 million and he's destributing bobbleheads of himself? Couldn't he live on the still-large pay of $45 million and reallocate the $20 million to softening (not eliminating, just softening) the blow to the rest of the company? Or have companies given up on trying to get employees to be loyal anymore?

    1. Re:Why doesn't the CEO take a pay cut? by wdr1 · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Why should s/he?

      For one, the salaries you mentioned aren't that common. But even in the cases where they are, the companies feel they are producing value worth that amount over the term of their contracts. The company doesn't have to pay it, but if it is that calibur of CEO, another company will. Just like sports salary's. You don't *have* to pay a given player $20 million, but if you don't there is another team that will. What's wrong with that?

      Are you saying you would stay at your job out of loyalty, even if they were paying you $25,000 and another offered you $75,000?

      -Bill

      --
      SlashSig Karma: Excellent (mostly affected by moderatio
  24. The things that irk me the most... by Burnon · · Score: 5, Insightful
    ... are that:
    • the company actually spends money on thousands of these promotional pieces of junk, money that could have instead been spent on the bottom line, or at least on something that isn't tossed, ignored, and useless.
    • someone in the company gets paid to come up with the idea of the bobble-head doll, and other pieces of promotional junk that your typical employee ignores
    I mean hey, a gift that shows that people in the company are thinking of you is nice, but these meaningless items reek of the "you are a number" philosophy. It seems like the bigger a company gets, the more likely that it is to generate this kind of landfill.
  25. As an employee of county government...... by ONOIML8 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I got the usual.

    Nothing

    Zip

    Nada

    Not even a thank you.

    911 dispatch wants to know where to physically find me on xmas and new years tho in case communications go out as I am on call for that, without pay.

    Of course I would much rather have nothing compared to your gag gift doll. That's just sick.

    --
    . Quit playing Monopoly with Bill. Switch to one of many non-Microsoft products today.
  26. Am I the only one? by sunking2 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    who thinks that this is a totally made up troll of a submittal? I mean, a bobble head doll of the ceo? I find that extremely unlikely. Not to mention the ceo makes '65 million' crap that is added to try to make it even moer sensational. And if it's posted anonymously, why not a company name associated with it? Troll troll troll...

    1. Re:Am I the only one? by Zeinfeld · · Score: 3, Interesting
      who thinks that this is a totally made up troll of a submittal?

      I was thinking that if we don't know the company name after 00 odd posts then it must be a troll. The chances that there would be only one slashdotter working at a company whose CEO makes $60 big ones...

      However, I now know what to get the staff for Xmas...

      --
      Looking for an Information Security student project suggestion?
      Try http://dotcrimeManifesto.com/
  27. Quepee Doll by EverDense · · Score: 3, Funny

    Kit yourself out like this and buy some sewing needles.

    --
    http://jesus.everdense.com/
  28. What I got by AntiTuX · · Score: 5, Funny

    I got laid-off from AOL/Time warner. In the folder with the severance package paperwork, they had the audacity to put an AOL cd. I shit you not. I was really fucking offended by that.

    Funny thing is, is this was just the kick in the ass I needed to get the hell out of the tech field anyhow. Sometimes you just hit your artistic and creative limits, and need to move on.

  29. Re:You got a bobble head CEO?!?!? by sconeu · · Score: 3, Funny

    When I worked for what is now part of the country's SECOND largest defense contractor, we found out that the division pres had donated *A* cow in the name of the division. Not a bunch of cows (for about 3K employees), but ONE FSCKING cow... Oh, and I got a card in the mail.

    --
    General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
  30. Potluck lunch and a coat drive by jsimon12 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    We had a potluck lunch and a coat drive, which is the exact opposite of what we had during the .com boom, which was a mega bash (rented a hotel, the whole hotel and boozed it up till the weeee hours) and a nice heafty bonus. So I guess all I recieved this year was my job.

  31. Hang on to those bobble head dolls--- by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    in a few years, after the CEO gets indicted for securities fraud, insider trading, what-have-you, it might be worth a few bucks on eBay. :-)

  32. Michael's anger.... by hackus · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Look at it this way Mike, you got a Bobble Head doll and he got ONLY 65 Million...

    Just be thankful the guy doesn't end up biling you out of your retirement as well... :-)

    -Hack

    PS: Take a pay cut and send it too the guy and plead with him NOT too...after all, he probably is working on his third home and that employee 401K/Retirement plan probably looks pretty juicy!

    --
    Got Geometrodynamics? Awe, too hard to figure out? Too bad.
  33. Free pizza by Ratbert42 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I got free pizza when we worked all weekend. Oh, and we all got our pre-Christmas vacations cancelled.

  34. IN SOVIET RUSSIA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    WE RECEIVE 100% RAISE IN WAGES...FOLLOWED BY A 50% DEVALUATION OF THE RUBLE BY THE CENTRAL BANK

  35. Measurement matters as much as the bonus itself by gregwbrooks · · Score: 5, Informative
    I work for a small (non-I.T.) consulting firm, and as one of the senior folks I *might* get a bonus this year. Maybe. If the boss feels like it and if doing so will reduce the amoung of corporate income taxes she pays.

    My point: You can bonus me $1.98 for the year if you feel like it, but nail it to some objective performance measurement.

    Memo to management: You want better results? Give people something to aim for and then clearly explain what the reward is for exceeding goals.

    (Now, having said all that, I have to add: The bobblehead thing would have had me sending out resumes in a heartbeat. It's one thing for management to lack clues; it's another thing entirely for them to be mean-spirited.

    --


    "It was a summer's tale: Just a boy, his Linux, and a head full of dreams..."
    1. Re:Measurement matters as much as the bonus itself by Dr.+Bent · · Score: 5, Interesting

      It has been my experience that poor managers do not employ this seemingly useful and effective technique for three reasons:

      1) They don't have enough understanding of the business market/human resources/financial situation to know if a given set of goals are reasonable.

      2) They don't know the work routine of their employees enough to tell when one person has contributed more than another, and

      3) They certianly don't know enough about it to codify a reward system months in advance of the actual competion of the work.

      This is particularly common in small companies with rapidly shifting company goals and projects.

  36. Just a dinner by Billly+Gates · · Score: 3, Interesting
    But considering its a small bussiness with less then 10 employees and not to mention the owner is paying for the dinner that cost 5 grand out of his own pocket, its not bad.

    Especially considering that companies must lower costs. If it was a bigger company then it might be different....oh and I only get christmass day off. I guess thats the down part.

    --
    http://saveie6.com/
  37. a message to the laid off people by logic7 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    hey, all you folks complaining about getting laid off and mentioning that this guy should be glad to have received the fscking gift. get real. the poster was asking *employed* people for their comments.

    what you people are doing here is like saying "sure your wife is ugly but at least you have a wife. be grateful".

    and yes, i expect an ipod as a company gift. :)

  38. Re:Just out of curiosity... by lactose99 · · Score: 3

    ...pathetically looks for gifts of approval.

    Welcome to the real world chummo, in this economy you take whatever gifts you can get. I don't expect my bonus this year (or any year), but I'm damned sure to take it when its offered. A company has an obligation to offer incentives for employees (especially hard-working ones), otherwise they run the risk of those same employees heading for the door. I'm sure your "agreement among equals" works in your world but when my "equals" are giving me projects on top of projects to complete with less headcount than last year (which translates to more hours for the same salary), I figure some extra $$$ is the LEAST they can do to say thanks.

    --
    Fully licensed blockchain psychiatrist
  39. Go work for a Swiss bank... by ssclift · · Score: 5, Interesting

    One year, right after the merger between UBS and SBC, we had to go to the post office to collect an item from the bank. It turned out to be our employee Christmas card... by registered mail... strange... then I opened it up: 30g of gold was in there! Two little bars from the previous two banks, and a 20g bar from the merged bank.

    The London employees were pissed off... they got really tacky watches, blue ones for the men, red ones for the ladies...

    Oddly right in the middle of the whole Nazi gold thing too... oh well... the Swiss are good folks but political correctness isn't always high on their list... and shown in both cases...

    1. Re:Go work for a Swiss bank... by Vellmont · · Score: 3, Informative

      Wow. 30 grams of gold is almost one troy ounce (about 31 grams per troy ounce). A troy ounce of gold is about $330 US. That's quite an expensive, if not odd gift to give employees. I'm curious, did most people sell the gold, or keep it?

      --
      AccountKiller
  40. ANY Xmas bonus... by CaptainPsyko · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is better than what this guy is gonna get.

  41. At Nortel Networks... by hillct · · Score: 5, Interesting

    My first year I got a nice christmas bonus. Mu send year I got a mini stocking containing various gift basket sorts of things (this was kind of weird). Each of these two years, we had a big holiday lunch. The next year (2000) I recieved a monogrammed foux-leather business card holder and a gift certificate ($10) to BestBuy. In subsequent years folks got nothing at all (or nothing that I remember - there may have been a few holiday lunches paid for by various departments).

    I now work at an academic institution where I've been attending various holiday parties every day last week and there are a few next week as well. I'm not sure if there are holiday bonuses or other things to come.

    --CTH

    --

    --Got Lists? | Top 95 Star Wars Line
  42. Hmmmm by SupahVee · · Score: 4, Informative

    I see many people complaining that they didnt get a bonus, or some that did, but it wasnt near what the C-people got, and yet a whole other group of wankers who think nobody deserves a bonus. The cimple soultion seems to be that if your company gives bonuses, that it be fair, if you busted your ass all year long, and your coworker didnt, you should rightly get a bigger bonus. This of course relies on someone making MORE than you to be honest. Fat chance, pal. The simpler solution seems to be the one that Whole Foods (the healthy food store) employs. Everyone in the company, from the CEO, down to the stokers, knows how much everyone else makes, tends to keep everyone honest and working hard. Not overworking, mind you, just working hard for the money they are earning. Certainly puts a creative form of peer pressure into play, doesnt it?

    --
    "See, we plan ahead! That way, we never have to do anything now."
  43. Huzzah we get to work another year!! by gelfling · · Score: 4, Interesting

    We get our annual bonuses in May but here's the deal so far. We're graded on a 1-2-3 scale w/ 1 being th highest. Usually 10% get 1 while about 15-20% get 3 which is a subtle "Get another goddamn job message.

    This year we've told that there is basically no money, but instead of simply adjusting the payout per grading we're told that no one will get a 1, 60% will get a 2 and the remainder, 40% will get a 3 which this year carries no bonus at all. The pool for the 2's will be cut in half. Now if you were counting on a 1 you were probably expecting a 15%-20% payout (20-25% for same grade if you are a manager), which this year will be reduced to a 2 grading which itself will be cut in half to about 5% payout. And the rest of everyone else gets a "YOU SUCK" rating that goes in the HR record. Which is just fucking lovely if you want to transfer internally and your last evaluation was "YOU SUCK".

    They could avoid this by giving everyone the same rating they were supposed to get and simply tell everyone that there are basically no bonuses this year except for those with the Godlike powers of the glowing green sun of Krypton. Instead they've turned the workforce into a brutal Darwinian game where everyone trods on the skulls of their fallen enemies.

    God I love this business, give me a grail of human blood!!!

  44. Self employed... by Eric_Cartman_South_P · · Score: 5, Funny
    ...went to store...bough self iPod...happy with gift.

  45. Take the initiative ... by mfago · · Score: 5, Funny

    I got as much toilet paper and office supplies as I could carry!

  46. I got laid off for Christmas by theinfobox · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ugh... I have been going downhill since 1999.
    1999: Bonus was 120% of my annual salary(yes, times were great)
    2000: Bonus was 75% of my annual salary(yes, times were still pretty good)
    2001: No bonus; I was laid off, but got 6 months severance (Not bad, considering...)
    2002: No bonus; I was laid off and got nothing at all. (This is the Grinch Christmas)

    I guess 2004 will have to be better than this.

    P.S. Need a Net. Admin.? Look at my resume: Resume for Patrick Anderson

  47. Re:LMFAO by Reality+Master+101 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    when I can let my boss go due to "tough" financial times just like I can.

    That's called "quitting" and finding another job. If you're unable to find another job, then make yourself more valuable.

    when my boss invites me to his Christmas party.

    Otherwise known as wanting pathetic gifts of approval. Don't invite him to your Christmas party, then.

    when my boss will be reprimanded for missing a day of work.

    That's called your boss having enough value to have negotiated the ability to miss days of work. If you can't, then become more valuable or negotiate that as part of your employment agreement.

    when I get equal compensation for equal amounts of work and experience.

    You are compensates exactly what you are worth. If you disagree, then find someone else who agrees with your self assessment.

    when I can be in the same health plan as my boss and the company owner.

    Nothing stops you from buying the same health plan as your boss. If you don't like the standard plan, ask if you can kick in money to get yourself to the higher level. If you can't, find another job or, again, make yourself valuable enough to where the company thinks you are worth giving the fancy health plan to.

    when bosses and owners think of employment as an agreement among equals.

    They think of you exactly the way you let them think of you. Congratulations, you have allowed yourself to be a tool.

    agreement among equals when pigs fly or companies are worker owned.

    Guess what? ALL COMPANIES ARE WORKER OWNED. The CEO is just as much of a worker as the ditch digger. And even the shareholders are workers. Everyone is a worker.

    --
    Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
  48. Speaking of ... by EggplantMan · · Score: 5, Funny

    Pink slips, my manager gave me one but I refused to wear it for him. A guy's got to draw the line somewhere.

    --

    ?-|||-----x<*))))><
  49. hold on a second. by /dev/trash · · Score: 3, Interesting

    There, okay, I'm all better. I was about to call you an ungrateful elistist piece of crap because well you have a job and those of us that don't and have been looking for over a year and can't even get a steady TEMP job, really hate it when people complain about not getting a bonus.

    I worked 3 years at a company and never got a bonus, got a less than 2% raise and had ONE Christmas party, where I had to pay for drinks. Buck up. Three days after Christmas 250000 lose unemployment checks.

  50. Whining about Christmas bonuses is pretty sorry by 0x0d0a · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Use it as a voodoo doll and stick pins in the wretched thing!

    This kind of statement, "funny" though it may be, is a pretty good reflection of the current (IMHO stupid) feelings of a lot of people on Slashdot, judging from their comments.

    A bonus is a special reward -- an employee did something really exceptional and their employer wanted to show their appreciation.

    A bonus is *not* something that an employer is required or expected to give to an employee. If you wanted more *salary*, you should have negotiated it.

    I'm not sure at what point workers started feeling that they were "entitled" to this gift. A Christmas bonus is a nice idea, but it certainly isn't something guaranteed. And, readers, if you're relying on it to support your finances around Christmas time, harsh as this may sound, you deserve whatever's coming. It's time for some actual financial management.

    --
    May we never see th
    1. Re:Whining about Christmas bonuses is pretty sorry by rnd() · · Score: 3, Insightful

      You're exactly right. The person who submitted the story has a rotten attitude and is lucky to have kept his job this long. If you want a bonus, then save a few bucks each paycheck or negotiate one with HR. If those approaches fail, then take your skills out on the job market and find a company that pays bonuses.

      --

      Amazing magic tricks

    2. Re:Whining about Christmas bonuses is pretty sorry by pyros · · Score: 5, Insightful

      I don't take the posters comments to mean a bonus was expected. Rather that the gift was insulting. I would be insulted by that gift. Consider that the company had to spend money to buy the things to give to employees. Personally, I'd rather have the cash or nothing.

    3. Re:Whining about Christmas bonuses is pretty sorry by sjames · · Score: 3, Insightful

      I think the joke was probably worth more than the doll cost. It took a lot more thought than a mug w/ the company logo for example. Sounds like a few commentors here should have gotten a gold tone lump of coal for a bonus.

    4. Re:Whining about Christmas bonuses is pretty sorry by Raiford · · Score: 3, Insightful
      What you are saying is true. Bonuses are not entitlemnts for employees. What I think you are hearing is that some employers are not giving bonuses at all even if deserved. This is probably a sign of the times (hard times) however after a few years of indulgence, employers are now being perceived as stingy. It doesn't help when upper management does not give the perception that cuts and sacrifices are made at the upper levels too.

      --
      "player 4 hit player 1 with 0 stroms"
    5. Re:Whining about Christmas bonuses is pretty sorry by keepr · · Score: 5, Interesting

      I am on salary where I work and I was told I would get Quarterly bonuses. I have yet to receive one of theese mystical checks, None of my co-workers have recevied them either.. I have been promoted 2 times in the last year, I guess I am doing a good job, Yet no bonus!

      One of our managers slipped up one day when a computer was stolen and stated "Damnit! that's going to come out of our bonus again" This leads us to believe only upper managment is receiving a bonus although we were all told we would be getting a bonus quarterly..

      We commonly hear " You guys need to get sales up or we will not have a bonus this quater " Then we hear nothing!! Not even hey we didn't make enough to give out a bonus this quarter, nothing..

      Yes we should ask about our bonus, but honestly I think we all fear our current economy and don't want to make any waves, But is it not wronge for them to simply dismiss something we were told we would receive? When I took my job I figured in my salary + my vacation + my estimated bonus.. All the sudden I feel robbed when I reflect on it. Especially when I am praised for the great work I am doing, if I want lip service I will go on a date.

      Let me close by saying, I like my job. In fact I have turned down higher paying positions simply because I like my working environment. But when times get tight I start to ask myself if I should be looking for employment elsewhere.

      --
      Slashdot taught me how to use the preview button!
    6. Re:Whining about Christmas bonuses is pretty sorry by MacAndrew · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Insufficient cyncism! Here, the left wing can give the right a drubbing:

      I'm not sure at what point workers started feeling that they were "entitled" to this gift.

      The calculating view: Nothing your employer never gives you is a gift. It is compensation for services rendered or incentive cultivation of good will. Either way, the employer deducts it and the employee is taxed on it, with certain minor exceptions for gifts worth less than $25 and the like. According to the IRS, employer-to-employee gifts simply don't happen, and I don't think we should be any less stoic.

      As for bonuses being per se gratuitous, that's not so perhaps because the popular understanding of bonus bridges over into year-end compensation. An incentive bonus between employers and employees as an express or implied part of the work relationship can not be withheld on caprice -- it's merely delayed compensation. Entitlement to a future bonus may be valid even post-termination: employers sometimes illegally fire employees to avoid paying benefits.

      In short, in some cases the expectation of bonus is morally justified; in more severe cases it may be a legally actionable entitlement. In rare cases the discriminatory or abritrary administration of a bonus system may also be illegal (racist, sexist, and so on).

      But I digress because of the compulsion to be thorough. My philosophical advice: Remember, it's not a gift, it's compensation.

      Your comment is a reflection of the unfortunate and legally inaccurate attitude that employers are doing you a favor by giving you a job, bonuses, and so on -- while also acting as though employment contracts were negotiated among equals. Which is it?

      And, readers, if you're relying on it to support your finances around Christmas time, harsh as this may sound, you deserve whatever's coming.

      Sure, and you may also deserve that bonus coming. And I don't mean a fuck-you bobbing doll of your wealthy CEO, fit only for target practice. (OK, perhaps that was the writer's due reward; I'm being charitable.) What the writer apparently feels is a moral betrayal. It's hard to judge reasonableness without knowing enough details, but the decision could go either way. If it looks likely this crap will continue regardless of work performance, I'd recommend updating the resume.

    7. Re:Whining about Christmas bonuses is pretty sorry by 0x0d0a · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Here, the left wing can give the right a drubbing

      Ooogh. I always seem to dislike the ideals of both the left and right wings...unions and religious nuts. Ick.

      The calculating view: Nothing your employer never gives you is a gift. It is compensation for services rendered or incentive cultivation of good will.

      [shrug] Sure, and if you look at some of my other posts in this story (like the HR department being happy to drop you like a hot potato), you'll see that I agree. "Gift" works well for illustrating the degree of expectation that one should have for a bonus, though.

      Either way, the employer deducts it and the employee is taxed on it, with certain minor exceptions for gifts worth less than $25 and the like.

      This is criticism of some sort of business-centric government, I'm assuming, since you're taking the "left wing" approach? Nah. There's no conspiracy. If a bonus is beneficial to you, you can afford to make a larger, flashier bonus.

      According to the IRS, employer-to-employee gifts simply don't happen, and I don't think we should be any less stoic.

      As I said, I don't consider it truly a gift, but from the employee's point of view, that's the degree of reliability that should be assigned. And whatever the IRS wants to classify something as has little bearing on what it actually is -- there's too much money involved in bonuses for the IRS not to have fun regulating things.

      As for bonuses being per se gratuitous, that's not so perhaps because the popular understanding of bonus bridges over into year-end compensation. An incentive bonus between employers and employees as an express or implied part of the work relationship can not be withheld on caprice -- it's merely delayed compensation. Entitlement to a future bonus may be valid even post-termination: employers sometimes illegally fire employees to avoid paying benefits.

      Sure. And while I'm sure it's happened at some point, I've never heard of a Christmas bonus (particularly for any specific amount) being granted either expressly or implied.

      In short, in some cases the expectation of bonus is morally justified

      Come on, now. A *moral* justification? You're opening a can of worms -- are *your* morals the same as others?

      in more severe cases it may be a legally actionable entitlement

      You still need to provide your "express or implied part of the work relationship" element.

      In rare cases the discriminatory or abritrary administration of a bonus system may also be illegal (racist, sexist, and so on).

      True (though that complaint is ridiculously overused in the United States), but that doesn't really have bearing on what we're talking about here -- a doll instead of a fat cash bonus.

      But I digress because of the compulsion to be thorough. My philosophical advice: Remember, it's not a gift, it's compensation.

      It's an incentive, but not an agreed-upon form of compensation.

      Your comment is a reflection of the unfortunate and legally inaccurate attitude that employers are doing you a favor by giving you a job, bonuses, and so on -- while also acting as though employment contracts were negotiated among equals. Which is it?

      I do not agree. A favor of giving you a job? They're trying to maximize their own bottom line...and the same goes for bonuses. You can't reasonably have extrapolated to this degree simply from my use of the word "gift".


      Sure, and you may also deserve that bonus coming.

      Do you "deserve" it? I see the moral can o' worms coming again. "Deserving" something is a wonderful tool to use in an argument, because it's so fantastically ill-defined, and because people tend to have fairly self-centric views on what is "deserved". Wendy and Miki may both feel that they "deserve" the big, orange _____, and there is no resolution to the problem that doesn't leave one feeling that she's been stiffed.

      What the writer apparently feels is a moral betrayal. /me grins. That isn't much of a justification. Tell me, how many people here feel that you're "paid enough" for your work? Or perhaps you feel that you're "overpaid" for your work? I think that few people would say this -- most people I've talked to feel that their talents are underappreciated. Yet, when the plumber comes to fix your flooding living room, don't you get a nagging feel that *he* is "overpaid"? Morality is a wonderfully distorted thing that you can use to support almost any argument. The Crusades were supported on moral grounds. Tell me, without using vague moral arguments, why it is reasonable, or a good idea, for this person to *expect* that bonus?

      If it looks likely this crap will continue regardless of work performance, I'd recommend updating the resume.

      Oh, criminy. You're willing to say this without knowing what his salary and benefits *already* are?

      --
      May we never see th
    8. Re:Whining about Christmas bonuses is pretty sorry by jayhawk88 · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Exactly. The company I work for has a habit of giving out "gifts" during Employee Appreciation Week, which of course are typically cheap, plastic, and not really wanted. One year they gave out license plates with "(Company)'s Employees are the Best!" printed on them. Another year we got these little clocks that are supposed to look like those fancy executive-type desk clocks with the stands and "minimal" black design, except these were plastic and tend not to keep very accurate time.

      This past year we got roll-up blankets, which from what I hear is the best Employee Appreciation Week gift ever. This must be a techie thing: I know some people probably get off on stuff like this, but I could really care less. You want to "Appreciate" me, give me a half-day off or something.

    9. Re:Whining about Christmas bonuses is pretty sorry by handorf · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Correct, a bonus is for exceptional behavior.

      Quick: What do you think the CEO got as his contractual, required bonus that year?

      In this age of outrageous executive salarys (STILL, even in the age of gargantuan bankrupcys and frauds) and large layoffs at the same time, giving employees a bobble head of the CEO is an incredible slap in the face.

      --
      -- IANAEG - I am not an elder god.
    10. Re:Whining about Christmas bonuses is pretty sorry by macrom · · Score: 3, Interesting

      You want to "Appreciate" me, give me a half-day off or something.

      Here's a better idea : send something to the wife and 9-month-old daughter that I've neglected while working 15 hour days slaving to ship a product that that's been plagued with management problems. Me, I'm just glad being gainfully employed, but my family deserves a little something for the patience they've had with me being at work a ton.

      I worked at a company once that bought the wives flowers and dinner at a local restaurant right before crunch time. It went a long way in pacifying the spouses, which means employees are happier and more likely to tolerate working long hours. Wish more companies would get a clue like that, and not just at Christmas time.

  51. A COW? by 0x0d0a · · Score: 3, Funny

    What on God's green earth do you donate a cow to? An African charity or something?

    --
    May we never see th
  52. "Holiday Bonuses" are deadly by misterplow · · Score: 5, Interesting
    A knowledgeable marketing teacher I had in college uttered what is, to me, the most sensible advice for companies giving out bonuses.

    In essense, he said, "The worst thing you could ever as a company is to start giving out a Christmas bonus. Once you start giving them out, you can't stop without coming off as a total schmuck."

    He added that if a yearly/periodical bonus *must* be given, it should be [phychologically] tied to some other, less-prominent holiday like Thanksgiving (in the US) or some summer holiday, etc.

    Once people get used to getting a "gift from Santa" it is very easy to miss it and get all pissed because they are somehow being robbed of something they deserve.

  53. Re:Even better... by dentar · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Quit. Seriously. If they don't appreciate you, find someone who does. Life is way too bloody short to work for someone who does not appreciate you. Believe me, I've done it.

    My very first boss appreciated me, only paid me $6.00 per hour, but thanked me every day. I appreciated working for him. I think of him as my teacher. He passed away after about two years.

    My second boss and third boss did not appreciate me. My fourth "boss" (a medium-large corporation) appreciated me about as much as a corporation could, so they were ok, thinking back on it.

    My fifth boss(es) appreciated me, but the company was bought out by people who did not appreciate me. I left there too.

    Believe me, it's not worth working for those who don't appreciate you, period. So find someone who does and quit. People are a corporation's number one asset. A company that treats its people poorly is a company that is not making half the money it could. Happy workers attitudes flow through to the customer who are then happy to do business with the company.

    --
    -- I am. Therefore, I think!
  54. Glue it to the bottom of a urinal by SEGV · · Score: 5, Funny

    Might as well make it useful.

    --

    --
    Marc A. Lepage
    Software Developer
  55. Where I Work by rat7307 · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...we get a ham.

    Its size is based on how well we are going.

    This year I think were getting a can of SPAM

    --
    Burma?
  56. Loyalty to a company by 0x0d0a · · Score: 5, Insightful

    No one needs 65M a year, and taking that much for herself just shows he's not as loyal to the company as she should be to be the CEO.

    "Loyalty to a company" in just about any company over fifty people or so is a sweet-sounding nonexistant Grail. It's lovely material to feed a worker to make him more productive, but it's silly. The company has no particular loyalty to you -- to HR, you're just another statistic that might potentially be sucking down money, and if you ever become a liability instead of an asset (after, of course, factoring in the cost of firing you and the effects on your coworkers of doing so, and considering your future potential value), the company will drop you like a hot potato. The company has no loyalty to you -- why should you to it?

    Now, that doesn't mean that justifies things like stealing from the company or trying to shaft it (as some people seem to feel) -- things like this frequently come back and hurt you far worse than any possible benefit. However, whenever you get stuck in your head that the company you work at is a kind, loving father or something, instead of a cold, profit-seeking institution, you're running the risk of painful dillusionment.

    I see people post here ever so frequently that "I gave 80 hours a week of work to my company and they didn't give me anything back" or "Times are tight, so my company is firing because it's best for all of us, but they really don't want to fire me". Bad mental state to be in. Don't come to rely on your company for more than they signed on for in your contract, and you won't have any nasty surprises.

    This wasn't all aimed at you, more of a general feeling towards Slashdotters complaining that they didn't get what they expected...

    --
    May we never see th
  57. At divine.com last year... by Wakko+Warner · · Score: 3, Informative

    ...the day after the Christmas party, half the office was laid off.

    So, mister whining bobblehead-doll recipient, kindly "eat a bag of dicks".

    I know plenty of people who'd have accepted a bobblehead doll and a job instead of what they got last year.

    --
    "Remember when the U.S. had a drug problem, and then we declared a War On Drugs, and now you can't buy drugs anymore?"
  58. That wasn't a bonus. by TheSHAD0W · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Maybe not every company can afford, and not every employee would deserve, extra on their paycheck every holiday season. But that doll was pretty stupid.

    I suspect most of that company's employees would've been happier skipping the doll and not having had to pay for parking for the party.

  59. what i got... by sewagemaster · · Score: 4, Funny

    "So... What did you get from your Company for Christmas?"

    sex from my secretary.... and her BOBBLING head....

    --
    my blog
  60. Lots of stuff! by Dixie_Flatline · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I got a monetary bonus, a BioWare coffee mug, a NWN collector's edition, and personal thanks from Ray and Greg, the owners and CEOs (just like everyone else did.)

    Besides that, however, I have the satisfaction of working at an incredible company with brilliant people. I'd do it all without any of the stuff I got this year.

    Job satisfaction is the best bonus of all. If you get a bobble-head doll, and feel like you need more of a bonus, you don't have the job satisfaction that you deserve. Move on.

  61. Insulting gift, nothing would be better by dh003i · · Score: 3, Insightful

    No one's entitled to a Christmas bonus. Its an extra, a nice optional that companies may or may not choose to give. Of course, the reason companies do so is to endear their employees to the company. Companies that don't do such may be susceptible to poorer relations with their employees, and may run higher risks of strikes and other problems. Etc.

    But a Christmas gift is not something one is entitled to, nor gauranteed. However, I agree with the person who submitted the article: giving employees a doll of the CEO is insulting. What does he think, that they all should admire him that much that they should make a doll-house for a miniature of himself? What an ego-maniacal thing to give employees. Like anyone has any use for this thing.

    It would be better not to give anything at all, than to give something that insulting.

    Imagine if for Christmas, I gave my girlfriend a miniature doll of myself...I'm sure that'd fly over real well, right?

    --
    social sciences can never use experience to verify their statemen
  62. Re:At divine.com last year... - MOD PARENT UP. by AyeRoxor! · · Score: 3, Informative

    Fucking "I have it worse than all of you" whiners. A bobble head of the guy who made money off of YOUR work while YOU had to scrape by is certainly worth bitching about. It's like leaving a small tip. It's worse than no tip at all.

  63. Best Company Christmas Bonus to Date by swdunlop · · Score: 5, Interesting

    This past year, I swallowed my pride and joined a local ISP while I waited for my dream employer to come out of a hiring freeze. After about eight months with a really nice group of people but no real challenge or pay to match, the freeze ended and I switched companies, to the disappointment of the ISP.

    I was very sad to go, and I felt more than a little guilty about the fact. Last week, my wife and I received some very persistant invitations to my former employer's Christmas party; my wife went, since I was out of town, and received a prorated Christmas Bonus and a lot of general good will from the owner of the company and the staff.

    Usually when an employee leaves a company for a bigger position elsewhere, an undercurrent of nastiness follows: the company and its people resents the loss of the employee. This company, though, insists on keeping a very friendly relationship with me, including repeated open invitations to stop by and mooch coffee.

    The bonus was pretty meager, compared to what I remember from the .com days, but the fact that it was offered at all, to an ex-employee, was probably the nicest thing I've ever seen a company do.

    --
    Weapons of Mass Analysis
  64. Last year, this year by ptomblin · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Last year my Christmas bonus was $11,000. I paid off my credit cards and bought a TiBook.

    This year, I'm a lowly contractor and if I'm lucky they'll renew my contract in January.

    Last year I was working for the spawn of Satan, and had been actively looking for something, anything to get me out of that hell hole for months.

    This year, I'm doing interesting work in a less stressful and less fucked-up environment.

    You can keep the $11,000.

    --
    The next Cmdr Taco duplicate will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and see it early!
  65. HONOUR THY STAFF. DO NOT BE GREEDY! by purrpurrpussy · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Yeep - screw christmas bonuses, screw bonuses. I have never been a fan of company wide bonuses. It's stupid - I don't see why John Thicky should get a bonus when I did most of his work. Bonuses are for those that have done good work.

    However, I have noticed a few things that make working life _pleasurable_ and _fun_. Bosses listen up!

    1 - Staff will get VERY resentful if they get no pay rises or very small pay rises but the boss gets 25%. You are all in the same boat bosses and staff alike. Bosses need to realise this and act more like staff (instead of god!)

    2 - Geeks like stuff - DON'T THROW OUT OLD COMPUTERS! Give them to schools if you want but always let your engineers rake of the bones of old hardware and take what they want. They love it and you don't even want it!

    3 - Let your geeks experiment with their code. People like the chance to experiment a little.

    4 - Listen to your geeks BUT GIVE THEM CREDIT. I quit one job after a few months when I discovered that the _entire_ place was based on "company politics". I would say something to my manager (hell I even typed him a report) only to discover that he had basically just changed the name on the report and no-one knew I had anything to do with it. AVOID THIS! If this happens - QUIT. You will be incredibly miserable otherwise!

    5 - Don't pay out bonuses just to make your staff stay. Think before you spend! Perhaps spending all that bonus cash on new equipment or the office environment will cheer you staff up just as much as a coupla hundred quid.

    The best bonus experience I ever had was at Pi Research in Cambridge. I was only 19 (2nd year there) and I had been working on some high resolution print routines. I got it finished and working (thanks to a little help) WELL ahead of time. The next day I went to work and was asked to see the MD. Well... I shit a brick! I reall thought I done or said something wrong! Anyhoo.... The MD asked me about my work, the quality of it, did I imagine there were still bugs etc.... then I got a very nice "thank you" and a "keep up the good work" type thing and a bonus cheque! I can't remember how much and it wasn't huge but the idea was there. They had been watching and decided it was time to place credit where credit was due. A very satisfying sensation I assure you.

    --
    "None of this shit works" -W.Shatner
  66. I'm not hurt... by Chris+Mattern · · Score: 5, Funny

    > What did you get from your Company for Christmas?

    Nothing. But it's OK; I didn't get them anything either.

    Chris Mattern

  67. Re:Don't you use anything? by WIAKywbfatw · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Hey, it's nice that you can be so smug and superior towards others. It must give you a warm rosy glow inside that helps you cut down on your heating bills.

    Perhaps you might want to consider a couple of salient points.

    1. The tax burden for individuals is pretty much the same in most western countries.

    However much you pay in tax in the US, it's not that much different to how much you'd pay if you lived in Canada, the UK, Germany, Australia or just about every other developed nation.

    2. How your tax dollars (or pounds, or euros, or whatever) significantly impacts how much disposable income you have.

    If your government spends $2 billion on a stealth bomber then that's $2 billion less that it can spend on other things. If it buys 144 of the things, that's $288 billion gone.

    (And you wonder where your taxes go?)

    That $288 billion could have been spent on other things. In just about every other country in the western world a chunk of it would have been spent on free healthcare, free further education, social welfare programmes, etc.

    Now you may argue that welfare programmes do nothing for you (and we'll leave aside how short-sighted that is for now) but surely you'd like not to have to spend a chunk of your salary (or the chunk that your employer pays on your behalf) on health insurance? And surely you'd like to be able to spend, save or invest the several thousand dollars a year that you plough into your kids' college funds?

    Before you start spouting rubbish about "Yuro-peens" taxation perhaps you could check the facts.

    --

    "Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." - David Brent, Wernham Hogg