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2003 Vaporware Awards
7x7 writes "Wired News has the 2003 Vaporware Awards available for your perusal. Winning the Lifetime Achievement Award, if you hadn't guessed already: Duke Nukem Forever!"
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let us have a moment of silence. (seriously).
that was such a kick in the nuts.
-fren
"Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?"
Perhaps someone should comprise a list of things that should of been vaporware, for the sake of corporations that stupidly put them out and consumers who shelled out cash for them. NGage anyone?
Mike
...do these awards, erm, ever get presented? :)
These sigs are more interesting tha
Winning the Lifetime Achievement Award, if you hadn't guessed already: Duke Nukem Forever!
How do you think it got its name in the first place?
"I turn away with fright and horror from the lamentable evil of functions which do not have derivatives."
I would have voted for "SCO's Evidence Against Linux" had the thought crossed my mind.
Trolling is a art,
GNU Hurd didn't make it into the list. Odd....:-)
Lifetime Achievement Award: Duke Nukem Forever
/anon
10. RadioShark (Griffin Technology)
9. Amiga OS 4.0 (Amiga)
8. Wrist PDA (Fossil)
7. HDTV TiVo (TiVo)
6. RealPC (FWB)
5. Wi-Fi SD Card for Palm (SanDisk)
4. Team Fortress 2 (Valve)
3. Phantom Gaming System (Infinium Labs)
2. Fallout 3 (Black Isle Studios)
1. Half-Life 2 (Valve)
Lets give it up for WMD ladies and gentlemen!
*cough* Well, I did say it was Vaporwar. :-)
Come on, out of who knows how many votes for AmigaOS 4, they picked me?
Karma Whoring for Fun and Profit.
I think Team Fortress 2/Half-Life Fortress should take that spot, if one really feels the need to slam Valve. Fortress was preselling at the time of HL's release. It then disappeared, sorta re-appeared as the free TF mod, and was re-confirmed with the announcement and subsequent E3 showing of TF2. Then it re-disappeared again, and apparently is gone, now that HL2 is soon to be up to bat?
HL2 had the source code stolen thing, and that's an understandable delay in shipping. TF2 just makes no sense... (particularly given how impressive the technology demonstrations were at E3 however many years ago that was, 4?)
I think I might have pre-ordered DNF, but I have moved 4 times since, and have a feeling some lucky person will end up with my copy in 2054.
Holy crap, think about, all those people that pre-ordered will end up buying another copy just because they forgot they preordered.
huh?
I would love to have radio timeshifting capabilities, especially in my car. Mainly due to being spoiled by my TiVo, I'm always looking for the rewind button when listening to NPR.
Incidentally, TiVo is supposed to be putting in XM capability into one of their new receivers, does anyone know if you'll be able to timeshift it?
HTML standards-compliant Slashcode. ;)
I still say Team Fortress 2.
Remember how cool it looked when the first videos surfaced.. it even won "TF (TM) 2 Wins E3.Net Awards " in 1999.
Once we begin taking pre-orders, believe us, you'll know about it. :)
The release date of this game is "When it's done". Anything else, and we mean anything else is someone's speculation. There is no date. We don't know any date. If you have a friend who claims they have "inside info", or there's some game news site, or some computer store at the mall who claims they know - they do not. They are making it up. There is no date. Period.
An Indian-American Hindu committed to non-violent thought/speech/action alarmed by the global explosion of radical Islam
Amiga OS 4.0
Hmm, shouldn't Amizilla be on the list too?
The IT section color scheme sucks.
Does anyone here know the story of why Duke Nukem Forever has become vaporware? I'm interested in the seedy underbelly of the gaming industry.
Phantom Game Console isn't exactly vaporware. Photos of it are here. Not sure if this is a working model though.
.... of why you shouldn't Pre-Order stuff.
I'm still waiting for Gran Turismo 2000 to hit the shelves.
Software Etc. will listen with empathy about my loud proclamations of GT2K == GT3-Aspec, and the sales weasels will agree with me. But the mgmt. shall not, will not, could not would not refund my money, nor give me a store credit until:
1) A game called Gran Turismo 2000 ships.
2) Official word from Sony arrives that the game is canceled.
bastards.
do() || do_not();
I think we should take a poll to rename the word "Vaporware" to "Duke Nukem".
Then next year we can have " the 2003 Duke Nukem Awards"..
Ahh, just a thought...
In development since 1997, transferred to about 43 different development teams, this project was most recently killed by UbiSoft in November 2003. Amazon was still taking orders last time I checked though, nice of them. By the time it ships, no one will even remember the Cold War.
Bush Lies On the Record.
The SCO Group seems to have promised, but never delivered, UNIX code that was "copied verbatim" into Linux . None of the millions of lines, 65 files, or some new type of undefined intellectual property have yet materialized.
Hey, maybe this isn't as much a troll as I thought. Oh well, the mod points are yours.
------UNIX is a registered trademark of The Open Group in the U.S. and other countries
Linux is a trademark of Linus Torvalds.
sigs, as if you care.
A long time ago, the EQ2 FAQ said that EQ2 would be out Q32003. Then, it said Q42003. Then it said Q12004.
Now, it simply says:
n will EverQuest II be released?
EverQuest II will launch in 2004.
I know that EQ2 will arrive eventually, but it definately fits in the group of "all those eagerly anticipated gizmos in 2003 that were put off, put away or quietly put down."
Isn't EQ a big game, relative to anyone that would be playing Duke Nukem, even if it had come out?
Where is the SplashPower SplashPad?
Several press articles have promised this for the past year. They're stuck on "looking for partnerships." I want one. Today.
[
I remember when Battlecruiser 3000 was the vaporware champion.
:-p
Original Release Date: April 1993
Actual Release Date: October 1996
And that '96 release date was only because the publisher forced the matter, even though Smart thought it wasn't yet ready for publication.
And bear in mind that the original release date in 1993 meant it was already being worked on MUCH earlier. In fact, it had been in development for 7 years by the time it was pushed onto the shelves in '96. I mean,
And for all that, it probably should have stayed as vaporware
I mean, how long has Duke Nukem been in development anyways? More then 7 years? Or is BC3K still king?
Government IS the problem.
is actually coming out it looks like: models to be available
A Lifetime Achievement Award goes to Duke Nukem Forever on the suggestion of reader Jeff White, who wrote, "First proposed in 1801 (or something close to that), Duke Nukem Forever has now come to define the term 'vaporware.' I wouldn't be surprised if dictionaries actually began printing it: 'vaporware: n. See Duke Nukem Forever.'"
Don't be suprised, Jeff. Wikipedia has bested you
About six years ago I got a response card thingy from one of the publishing companies. They were telling me that I could sign up then to buy Vol. 4 of Knuth's Art of Computer Programming. So I guess that can't count as last years vaporware. Their optimism should have counted for something though.
any one got a news on Gran Turismo 4 and Driver 3 for the Playstation2?
I've followed these for the first year, and after watching the dates get pushed back again and again, i haven't looked in a bit.
Just curious if anyone's got info before i spend half the day weeding through all the google hits for "driver 3 release date" over the last 1.5 years.
oh please oh please oh please be better than the Stuntman game
do() || do_not();
From the article: 'vaporware: n. See Duke Nukem Forever.'
I think Microcode Solution's PowerPC emulator for x86 should be in the running now for Lifetime Achievement Vaporware Award as well at this point.
They however have learned to at least stop updating at all since their last showing and instead have only this to say:
"Microcode Solutions has received what we believe will be the final hardware revision of the PCI based PowerPC card being manufacturered by a well known PowerPC accelerator company. The current board is a high speed G3 board. Other models are being prototyped right now, and these are G4 and dual processor configurations. Microcode Solutions has always been the leader in Macintosh emulation technology, developing the first PowerPC emulation for a non-Macintosh platform. We will continue this tradition by releasing the first Power Macintosh emulation for the PC. Besides having a PCI based hardware solution, Microcode Solutions will also be releasing a completely software based emulation to the public at an amazingly low price (under $50). We know that people have waited an extremely long time for Microcode Solutions to release a new product, and we appreciate your patience. Just like our successful product "FUSION-PC", we feel we should wait to release the product until it is perfected. We are nearing that stage right now."
"why don't you just slip into something more comfortable...like a coma!"
Maybe you cannot be nominated more then 10 times in a row or so?
Or the fact that you can download it might disqualify it from being "vapor"-ware, at least to anyone who understands what the term means. Or are the usual anti-GNU shills more unaware than usual of common dictionary definitions of the terms they bandy about?
The Future of Human Evolution: Autonomy
1) anounce game, setup preorder
2) delay game so long that people forget they pre ordered and buy another copy.
3) Profit!
Its a real busness plan.
JACEM
DOC Disinformation Obfuscation and Confusion
The carrot to FUD's stick
I can't be the only one silently waiting for the Slashdot DupePostChecker, am I??? It was promised to us in 1999, which quickly turned into 2000. Then somewhere around 2001 or 2002 there was a delay for CmdrTaco to get engaged or married or something. Oh, and when VA's stock tanked, another huge delay (insufficient funds to hire the extra programmers needed). I really thought 2003 was the year that we'd all see it though.. I really did. Here's to 2004, but I'm not holding my breath.
I've recently begun work on the next-generation game engine called "WMD Hunt". Current version is 0.0.001-pre-alpha. Notable changes include leveraging multiple synergies across player groups and enabling your gaming buddies to achieve your goals via graft and military-industrial contracts. Some degree of randomness has been added to account for the "lone strikers" play meme. I'm still trying to speedup and optimise the UN code though - it's slow enough that most players won't be able to use that option. Also, the "relative agression level" needs to be more fine-grained; You could be agressive towards your own relatives, or turn your level down instead of simply having a blanket policy. As opposed to a *real* blanket, if your home was recently destroyed.
C|N>K
There was a product -- I don't remember the name -- which was supposed to be a module you could drop into a conventional 35mm film camera that would turn it into a digital camera. It never materialized, of course.
Honorary Member of Jackie Chan's Kung Fu Process Servers
Gamespot has some hi-res photos.
However, the number and types of ports on the back of this box ring alarm bells with me. How many PC-based consoles have:
Composite and S-Video and component video?
RCA and optical and "coax" audio?
Other little signs:
Power adapter plug has changed from previous regular PC style to circular multi-pin.
There is a coax connector for an optional internal cable modem (according to the proposed specs but an internal ADSL modem is also an option. How do you choose which?
This reminds me of the Moller SkyCar where they produce just enough prototypes to keep the investors happy but never actually produce anything.
If they didn't turn the thing on then this is probably just an empty box with some ports stuck on the back.
If you don't want to repeat the past, stop living in it.
And hopefully it will be done justice by the original creator
He was even kind enough to ask for input from devoted fans.
I have misplaced my pants.
[drumroll.....] ....catchy huh?
.
"Little Piggies That Should Never Have Went to Market"
.
.
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A goal is a dream with a deadline
Vaporware is when IBM comes to your company and says 'we have product X that will intergrate your Y and Z systems' when they have no such product. It is not uncommon for companies in niche markets to do such things. Companies like JDE/PeopleSoft/Siebel do it all the time to make sales. But, they do it because they know they have the resources to make it happen. Just because something is Vaporware doesn't mean it will never happen.
Perhaps most of the companies on the list should get a 'Ultra-Behind-Schedule' award instead, as it is pretty aparent that Valve does have HL2.
Step away from the computer and await the relocation experts from Guantanamo.
E3 is not for consumers. If you don't want to hear the buzz, don't listen. E3 is for publishers and other vendors to present their products to retailers. E3 is an industry trade show that is not open to the public. If you are disappointed by something that occurs based on E3, you have noone to blame but yourself.
Now, something announced in a press release is another matter entirely.
I don't get it. If Prez Bush doesn't have WMD, then what do we have in all those silos in Montana?
-Flakbait
Temporary Minister of Propoganda for the Assyrian Empire
I think I know something else that should be on that list.
::Nods head at George Bush::
--
In London? Need a Physics Tutor?
American Weblog in London
How can Fallout 3 be vaporware if it was never offically announced? We only learned of it when the news came out that the BIS team had been canned....
I dont consider canceled things vapor....hell, let's call TORN vaporware too....
Kiss my shiny metal ass
I'd like to see the Vaporware Awards split up into some major categories like "Games," "Software," and "Hardware," or something like that.
I don't eagerly await shipment of new games, being an old fuddyduddy with not a lot of free time, and I'd like to see some actual productivity and imaging products get on that list, in addition to all the games and wrist gadgets.
What about that digital film that was supposed to come along? Whatever happened to that? I've got an old, sturdy 1970s Canon AE-1 Program that's just dying to come out of semi-retirement and use those extra-sharp FD lenses to make digital photos.
You are in error. No-one is screaming. Thank you for your cooperation.
At this rate, it'll get here in, oh, I don't know, 2012.....
Life is hard, and the world is cruel
Ahhh, the fond memories of my Intergraph Rendition Verite' 1000 card. You could play 3D accellerated vquake at 640x480 with all the prettiness of openGL at full speed on a Pentium 166; those were the days.
"The strong will do what they want, the weak will do what they must."
-Thucydides
Weren't we promised a secure version of Windows from the so-called Trustworthy Computing inititive that was started 2 years ago?
Where is it?
Touted as one of the REASONS to own an XBOX, an exclusive title from the author of Grim Fandango. Trailers released in 2002, still *no* sign of the thing.
Religion is a gateway psychosis. -- Dave Foley
Methinks you misunderstand the term at hand, "vaporware". Vaporware are products that never made it into actual release. No product that actually makes it to market is still vaporware no matter how lame, annoying, or poorly meeting expectations.
And I, for one, welcome our new boobie overlords!
If you had nuts on your chin, would they be chin nuts?
Jesus Christ, Half Life II? Doom III?
I for one am extremely stoked that game studios have finally adopted the "Its done when its done" mantra of releasing games.
Let's not forget that 'etched-in-stone' release dates are responsible for most of the really atrocious games inflicted on us over the last decade.
Blizzard, id, & Valve deserve enormous kudos for sticking firm to their convictions, and holding their corporate masters at bay while producing games that are polished and bug free.
Vaporware suggests that these companies have promised something that has not, and will not be delivered. We should keep in mind that at *no* point have any of these companies offered firm release dates. And they should be commended for not doing so.
What's funny is the really guilty party -- that is, the party which has most frequently made false promises of "what's coming down the pipeline" *has* to be Wired Magazine.
My 2 cents.
------ The best brain training is now totally free : )
I worked at an Electronics Boutique while going to college, and the two favorite jokes were when I customer came in asking when NeverWinter Nights was coming out (answer: "Never") and how long until Duke Nukem comes out (answer: "Forever") Then blasted Atari actually shipped NWN. :P
I have to agree. Black Island never got people's hopes up. Many knew that Fallout 3 was in the works, but it was under a code name, and never officially announced.
This list they have up is kind of lame actually this year, since many of the things that were on the list were announced ONLY this year. HL2 and Doom 3 both garnered votes (with HL2 making the top spot), but honestly, it is not like this game is really late. They just got the ball rolling for it this year, and all of a sudden it is considered TOP VAPORWARE?!?!?!
How about the HDTiVo? Announced in Jan 2003, and by Dec 2003, it is top 10 vaporware? UGH.
I think that Wired really needs to make put up some limits on what actually is considered "Vaporware." IMnsHO, the first thing is that the product must have been announced at least over a year ago (ie, 2002 for these awards). Just my $.02.
It is human nature to take shortcuts in thinking.
Come on, admiting that he actually bought the game might have cost him his eternal soul.
It is human nature to take shortcuts in thinking.
Iraq brokered an 11th hour deal to once again allow unfettered UN inspections. Had he not made tht deal, WJC was fully ready to roll in with the troops, with or without international support. When Saddam broke that deal, GWB ramped up for war again.
Who broke what when now? I seem to distinctly remember UN inspectors being on the ground and doing their job in the run-up to the iraqi war, with their efforts being dismissed out of hand by the Bush administration. Then they had to clear out not because saddam wanted them gone, but because war was coming.
Now, we can argue all night about why saddam let them back in, but let's not try to argue that GWB invaded iraq because of the un inspectors. The run-up to the iraqi war clearly demonstrated he has zero respect for the un and its efforts. And even if he did care about it, he would have just let them do their jobs.
Heard that on Fox "News"? May I suggest that you don't swallow all and any propaganda/lies you hear.
I wonder if they'll put that on the box, if/when it ever comes out:
"Duke Nukem winner of _many_ vaporware awards!"
in girum imus nocte et consumimur igni
I'll post one shortly ! Don't anyone else respond to this, because you'll be wasting the effort.