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Adding Background Noise To Your Phone Call

lww writes "By way of a Gizmodo article, you can now add your own background noise to a cell phone call. A company called Simeda is offering a product called SounderCover that allows you to play selected background noises such as traffic, construction, and even the dentist during your phone call. The possibilities are endless! 'Hi honey, I'm going to be late -- I'm stuck in the middle of a circus parade...Bye! Hey Joe, another round for me and the boys...what? Oh, whoops *click*'"

70 of 280 comments (clear)

  1. Excellent! by smr2x · · Score: 5, Funny

    Now I can talk on the phone while having sex... I'll just play some nice traffic jam noises... No one will be any wiser!

    --
    .
    1. Re:Excellent! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      your currently reading /. what are the odds that you will be having sex?

    2. Re:Excellent! by zapp · · Score: 5, Funny

      Oh come on, this is slashdot!
      You'll be stuck in traffic, with sex background noise to try and convince your friends you're actually gettin some ;)

      --
      no comment
    3. Re:Excellent! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Hey... Many years ago, I did something close to this with a "soundfx" cd. My GF at the time had a very strick family. She worked in a hospital. Well, a track of background hospital noise and a phone call from my bedroom (wiggly eyebrows) and we have a few extra hours! WOOT.

    4. Re:Excellent! by mobiux · · Score: 2, Insightful

      If your that bored, then the cell phone noise is the very least of your problems.

      Paging Dr. Ruth

    5. Re:Excellent! by wo1verin3 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Dan Quayle can have sex, not knowing how to spell didn't stop him.

    6. Re:Excellent! by WorkEmail · · Score: 2, Funny

      I wonder if it has an "I am too stupid to use my phones Keygaurd feature and called you from my pocket" mode where it just plays various sounds of fabric Swooshing around that annoying crackly wind sound. That would be more realistic. lmao.

  2. I'll buy the one by Shut+the+fuck+up! · · Score: 5, Funny

    that makes my phone sound like it's losing the connection so I can get out of boring conversations easily.

    1. Re:I'll buy the one by clmensch · · Score: 4, Funny

      Just use T-mobile in the NYC/tri-state area. You're bound to get garbled sound and dropped calls at some point during the conversation!

      --
      There is no gravity...the earth just sucks.
    2. Re:I'll buy the one by ratsnapple+tea · · Score: 2, Informative

      Haha, so true! Just pick a random building and walk five feet into the lobby. Guaranteed dropped call. I do this all the time.

    3. Re:I'll buy the one by Ungrounded+Lightning · · Score: 2, Informative

      I'll buy the one that makes my phone sound like it's losing the connection so I can get out of boring conversations easily.

      Just hit the "end" button in the middle of a sentence.

      Then turn the phone off for a couple minutes, call 611 and listen to the nice voicemail system, or just hit the "shut up" button if it rings, so they go directly to voicemail if they call back

      --
      Bantam Dominique roosters crow a four-note song. Once you've heard it as "Happy BIRTHday" you can't NOT hear it that way
    4. Re:I'll buy the one by furballphat · · Score: 2, Informative

      The easiest way to do this is to just scrunch up some paper by the phone. It makes the noise perfectly.

    5. Re:I'll buy the one by caluml · · Score: 2, Informative

      Me and a friend discovered that if I forwarded my calls to him, and he forwarded them to me, that we got the "network error" sound when anyone tried to call either of us. Pretty handy for making yourself unavailable :)

  3. Kinda useless but still cool... by clmensch · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Next step...hold music! I would PAY for that on my P900. Doubt it's possible though.

    --
    There is no gravity...the earth just sucks.
    1. Re:Kinda useless but still cool... by Axem · · Score: 3, Funny

      I think it'd be possible but really hard to do.

      I'd like all my outgoing phone calls to start with a voice saying: "Please Hold for the President"

      --
      We all live in a #FFFF00 submarine...
  4. Even Better by deathcow · · Score: 5, Funny


    Now you can play noises of having sex while you talk on the phone.

  5. sad by U.I.D+754625 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    This is perfect for you guys on a leash out there, however, if my SO wouldn't let me go to the bar after work, she wouldn't be around much longer. What is wrong with simple communication and understanding in relationships today??

    --


    //Blessed are they that run around in circles, for they shall be known as wheels.
    1. Re:sad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny
      What is wrong with simple communication and understanding in relationships today??

      Nothing! This is a tool to help you communicate a lie, in case she understands too much of the truth.

    2. Re:sad by Planesdragon · · Score: 3, Insightful

      however, if my SO wouldn't let me go to the bar after work, she wouldn't be around much longer. What is wrong with simple communication and understanding in relationships today??

      Psst, you're supposed to either bring the alcohol HOME, or take the S.O. OUT. Going off and having fun without them is very rarely conducive to a good relationship; at the very least, you have to invite them, even if you think that they'll say no.

  6. I'm Curious by psycht · · Score: 4, Funny

    Does it have a silent backgoud noise so that the other person can actually hear me?

    1. Re:I'm Curious by pcmills · · Score: 5, Funny

      They can't silence is copyrighted. 4'33''

      --
      Ask Slashdot - google for stupid people.
    2. Re:I'm Curious by JudgeDredd · · Score: 5, Funny

      All you have to do is open circus.mp3 in CoolEdit, and invert the soundwave.

      Then, when you're actually IN a circus parade, it will act as a noise cancelling device!

  7. I knew... by MonkeyGone2Heaven · · Score: 4, Funny


    I'd find another use for that Godzilla .wav file I used for the StartUp sound on my old Windows machine!

  8. Is there a.. by Creepy+Crawler · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sex sound dial?

    Whoops! Telemarketer called. With the OHGODYES!!WoW!AAAAAAAaaaaa... in the background, theyre going to hang up preeeeety quick ;-)

    Course, if your wife calls wit hthis setting on. Uh-oh.

    --
    1. Re:Is there a.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      I am sure all of slashdot would have that ringer, and it would lose its effectiveness rather quickly.

      - "oh Jeff, I can't make it to D and D tonight, I am with a lady tonight, maybe next week."

      "shut up Randy, I have the same ringer, don't try to pull a fast one on me!"

      - "okay... I will be over in 15."

  9. Seems to require a Nokia... by rjstanford · · Score: 5, Informative
    Although I do have to confess that I love this one from their website:
    Is one of your mates a chronic talker that just doesn't know when to stop? Use the Phone Ring 15s background and your friend will hear a phone ring 6 times, 15 seconds into the call. Tell him that your other phone is ringing and that you have to go.
    Especially since you can start the background noise at any point during the conversation. Oh, so tempting...
    --
    You're special forces then? That's great! I just love your olympics!
  10. Just the Thing! by ackthpt · · Score: 5, Funny
    Just the thing for the Lonely Guy!

    "Hi! Hey, I'm at a really swinging party right now, but sure I think I can pull myself away for a bit!"

    --

    A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
  11. Boss... by jjsjeff · · Score: 5, Funny

    Play keyboard clicking sounds when he calls me on the phone so it sounds like I'm working.... :)

    1. Re:Boss... by Texas+Rose+on+Lava+L · · Score: 3, Funny

      That doesn't prove anything. You could be typing Slashdot comments.

  12. Same solution for Video phones by lewko · · Score: 5, Interesting
    Background noise only works on voice calls. If you are using a 3G Video phone, you're busted!

    Until this came along.

    A special setting will allow owners of 3G phones to select the video background of their choice before answering a call.

    "Hi honey... I'm just in church. Be home soon."

    --
    Do you or your partner snore? - Visit www.snoring.com.au
  13. even better excuses by SoupGuru · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Honey, who was that moaning in the background when I called you earlier?"

    "No one, baby. It's just one of those silly background noises you can download."

    --
    What doesn't kill you only delays the inevitable
    1. Re:even better excuses by JoshWurzel · · Score: 4, Funny

      Stop lying to your wife and just admit that you were watching porn at work!

  14. Perfect addition by rm007 · · Score: 2, Informative

    This would seem to be the perfect additional functionality to the proposed video cell phone technology proposed by a Hong Kong company that would enable users to set a background picture of there choice. Having the righ background noise would make much more effective. Here's the missing ??? before profit!

    --


    I've finally got around to changing my sig
  15. Really by jeffkjo1 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Ok, so who exactly is the targeted audience for this?
    Construction workers that cheat on their wives that tell them they're working on a Saturday?

    I really don't get it.

  16. Circus Parade by Embedded+Geek · · Score: 4, Funny

    The Circus Parade MP3 was a very savvy marketing move. Considering that most people in technology (the obvious target demographic) work at freakshows, it should come in quite handy.

    --

    "Prepare for the worst - hope for the best."

  17. Reminds me of the great SNL Skit by aengblom · · Score: 4, Funny

    Einstein Express: "For when it absolutely, positively has to be there the day before yesterday".

    and then they proceed to show workers back-dating it and then beating the crap out of the package, while stamping with the postmark of four third-world countries or something.

    --


    So close and yet so far from the world's perfect ID number
  18. Stuck in the middle... by philovivero · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hey, Honey, I know the FBI is listening in right now, but I'm stuck in the middle of a steganographic stampede! There are stegonographers everywhere!

  19. Anyone stupid enough to use their "traffic jam"... by catbutt · · Score: 5, Informative

    ...sound here will get busted. Too many horns. I'd know it was fake and I'd think most people would.

  20. How About Bathroom Noises by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I've learned this trick works well with both annoying ex-girlfriends and customers...

    At the end of a long conversation walk into your bathroom and flush the toilet. Keep the phone about five feet away from the toilet so that it's audible but not blatant. Do that everytime you end your conversation with the person.

    Eventually they stop calling.

  21. Re:This is not new by Midnight+Thunder · · Score: 2, Interesting

    no - wired phones. CELL phones didn't exist then!!
    Sure, but that sounds like the argument for adding 'electronically' in front of some every day process and then trying to claim a patent.

    --
    Jumpstart the tartan drive.
  22. Re:Anyone stupid enough to use their "traffic jam" by pclminion · · Score: 3, Funny
    It definitely wouldn't work here in the Pacific Northwest. The culture here is to never honk the horn at all, unless you are literally a quarter second away from colliding with another vehicle.

    You can always tell the "foreigners," by the honking of their horns. And the hilarious looks on their faces when they get passed on the right side (which is considered normal driving behavior around here)...

  23. Re:Recordings of ambient noise are readily availab by ThatNuttyPeej · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Course, ambient noise itself is readily available... everywhere, waiting for you to record it.

    --
    This sentence's period was stolen This sentence knows who took it:
  24. I hear ya! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    My wife doesn't understand my desire to have sex with other women either, no matter how often I communicate it to her!

  25. MiaHM by RAH by MykeBNY · · Score: 3, Informative

    I've been waiting for this to come about ever since reading The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress, by Robert A. Heinlein. In it, a computer (as in the kind you build a room around, not the kind you carry into a room, it's an old book) renders its own videophone calls to simulate a person's office, including all the proper background noise, even taking into account the general location of where the office should be, and computing noise based on traffic reports. (And even those little white lies, such as his "secretary" picking up, "He's in a meeting right now," *flushing sound in background* "Oh, looks like he's just finishing up, would you like to hold?")

  26. Nice and portable, unlike the original... by linuxtelephony · · Score: 4, Informative

    I couldn't find it with a quick Google, but this is almost just like something I read about several years ago.

    It was a special "phone booth" that was targetted for bars and other places. Had special sounds like "Office chatter", "traffic", etc. I don't remember if it was a full booth (and soundproof) or not. I think it had like 4 or 6 sounds you could choose from. Of course, you had to pay for it, I think a $1 or $2 for the call. Never did get to see one in person.

    I think I read about this about 10 years ago. Anyone else remember hearing (or better yet, see in person) one of these phone booths?

    Just like this software it was meant to fool the people your talking to into thinking your somewhere else.

    --
    . 62,400 repetitions make one truth -- Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
    1. Re:Nice and portable, unlike the original... by Psychic+Burrito · · Score: 2, Informative
      Yep, it looks like it's still around. A quick googling reveals this at the Safe House site:
      One favorite attraction is the alibi phone booth, where for an extra quarter, you can have the sound of your choice in the background. The 99 choices include college cheers, crickets, fire sirens and gun shots.
  27. Not very imaginative by El · · Score: 5, Funny

    Do that have one that keeps saying in a sultry voice, "Honey, please come back to bed, we weren't finished yet!"? I'd want to use that when my ex calls...

    --

    "Freedom means freedom for everybody" -- Dick Cheney

  28. That's no circus parade... by pyrrhonist · · Score: 4, Funny
    ...that's just a fan taping of a Phish concert!

    Union Federal rules!

    --
    Show me on the doll where his noodly appendage touched you.
  29. Re:Anyone stupid enough to use their "traffic jam" by moosesocks · · Score: 2, Insightful

    You, my friend, have obviously never been to New York City...

    --
    -- If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? - Uli's moose
  30. A Local Gentleman's Club Has This by sirshannon · · Score: 5, Interesting

    They have 4 soundproof booths (about 4 times the size of a typical american phone booth) with payphones in them at a local gentleman's club (aka a high-dollar strip club with boutique, 4-star restaurant, salon). Each booth has an "alibi machine" in it with a knob for baseball game, traffic, and a few other alibis while you call your wife (or boss) and explain that you'll be late. I have used the sounds a few times, but only in jest, of course.

  31. Script by Jozer99 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ring!!! [Takes phone out] Ring!!! [Clicks little green phone] Hello, please hold for one second [Silence] [Traffic noises abruptly begin] Hi, sorry, I can't talk long, I'm stuck in traffic right now. [Traffic noises abruptly stop] Click

  32. The cheap bastard's version by bobdotorg · · Score: 3, Insightful

    My brother used to do this all the time while he was an outside salesman with a three state route:

    1. roll out of motel bed way late with raging hangover
    2. turn on television and tune to a frequency with static
    3. turn volume way up and phone work assuring then that you're already on the road to your first appointment

    The static sounds just like wind / road noise while driving.

    --
    __ Someday, but not this morning, I'll finally learn to use the preview button.
  33. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 3, Informative

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  34. Re:How about some honesty? by pclminion · · Score: 2, Insightful
    Go ahead, mod me -1 Troll, but isn't it just abusing people's trust to trick them with excuses like "I'm stuck in traffic" when you really have no good excuse.

    If you seek truth, humans are not (and never have been) the place to find it.

    Go figure.

  35. And here i thought it was flawless... by shog9 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Great Scott and a Lesser Mick! You may be onto something there!

  36. Bad for circuses by circusnews · · Score: 4, Funny
    The following was posted to a few minutes ago:

    I really must protest. This new product from Simedia aims to give circuses everywhere a black eye. This product (if you can call it that) works with the popular Nokia 7650 and 3650 series of phones to provide callers with fake background noise. Now, this alone does not bother me. If people what to lie about where they are, thats up to them. What bothers me is the company is encouraging people to pretend that they are caught at a circus parade. Don't circuses get blaimed for enough traffic messes?

    Oh, wait. I could use this. Every one would think I was at the show when I called. Maybe it's not such a bad idea...

    SounderCover is available for immediate purchase for the price of 14.95 and a demo version is available for download.

  37. One slight problem... by Guppy06 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "'Hi honey, I'm going to be late -- I'm stuck in the middle of a circus parade...Bye! "

    "Not according to the GPS receiver in your phone you're not."

  38. So not worth 15 euro by Kris_J · · Score: 4, Informative

    I downloaded the demo version and installed it yesterday. It does exactly what it advertises, but I have a hard time believing that there's 15 euro worth of value in there. 4 euro would probably be pushing it. Postcardware is probably more approriate.

  39. I can see a potential problem... by the+arbiter · · Score: 2, Informative

    As part of 2G services and onward, in an effort to conserve maximum bandwidth, cell phones don't transmit during the time you're not talking. (Which is why you can get weird choppy-sounding conversations).

    Background noise is synthesized at the receiving end based on random samples taken every few seconds at the transmitting end.

    Easier to burden the receiver with the task of generating fake noise that burden the network with the transmissal of said noise.

    I'm interested if this broadcasts the synthesized background full time from the transmitter...if so, it's going to kill the cell network capacity in areas where phones fitted with this are used.

    --
    Boycott everything - they're all trying to fuck you one way or another
  40. Ambient noise by zoney_ie · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Be nice to have something kind of the opposite to this for your mobile. You DON'T hear ANY ambient noise. In fact, it'd be nice if your mobile emitted some kind of field like the Babylon 5 "private conversation booths". No more hearing people shout "I'm on the bus". Even better, no more having to shout "I'm on the bus".

    --
    -- *~()____) This message will self-destruct in 5 seconds...
  41. too many people think it's easy... by plnrtrvlr · · Score: 4, Interesting

    ...to either just "tell the truth" or play the "what they don't know can't hurt them" games. And the best part is that a company like this has found another way to profit off other people's pain -not that profiting from people's pain is anything new- in a novel way.... I've been down the roads of deception and truth with a wife who was kinda going over the deep end... Telling the truth would earn me days if not weeks of her stomping around the house pissed at me for something as simple as a buddy stopping by to show off a new toy. It only took a couple years of this (as I slowly stopped doing more and more of the things I enjoyed) before I started trying the deception approach. This too has it's curses, namely, living with your own lies, keeping them straight, not getting caught, and giving the other person an actual reason not to trust you. And to those of you who have said "she'd be out of my life," well. that is what finally came to pass. This too is not an easy road, two years in court, fighting for custody of my kids, having to pay her significant child support even though I had 50% custody in the end, the fun life, ya know? The good news is, somewhere along the way she came to her senses... not sure what happened, but we tried again just before the divorce was final, and these days, I do what I want without complaints. And now that I'm totally off topic: I'd probably have purchassed this product 5 years ago, but today I'm just laughing at them.

  42. The "Excuse Booth" by Mister+Transistor · · Score: 3, Funny

    Was the exact same idea.

    In the heyday of the Video Arcade, "The Excuse Booth" was one of the coin-op manufacturer's attempts to bring this to the public.

    It was a sealed closet-like booth (similar to the 4-for a dollar foto booths), soundproofed with carpeting on the inside, a seat board, and a payphone. There was also a control panel and coin acceptor for the background sound.

    The backgrounds were provided by a bank of 8-Track type cartridges (actually they were the professional recording/radio studio type ones), and were fed through a reasonably high fidelity audio system to speakers in the booth. There were 12 or 16 or so backgrounds, Office, Jail, Streetcorner, Bar, Party, etc. A dollar would get you 5 minutes or so of background sound.

    I used to work for one of the major Video Arcade manufacturers in a former life, and we got one in to evaluate. I can't remember who made it exactly, but we analyzed all the competition's stuff anyway. After that, it sat around the warehouse for a long time and just got used by various engineers for smoking joints in ;)

    --
    -- You are in a maze of little, twisty passages, all different... --
  43. Actually, this reminds me of something I did once by barfarf · · Score: 4, Funny

    At a previous job, before I was laid off (our parent company was shutting down all of our branch offices), I was partially responsible for a couple of our sites and our data center. I had absolutely no accountability (my boss was on the other side of the country) during the last two or three weeks before my layoff date, so one day I decided to take a day off and stay home without letting anyone know just to see if I could get away with it.

    Surprise, someone called me up on my cell phone from one of the branch sites with an issue. Not intentionally, because I was sitting right next to my computer (in which the case fans were very loud), he just assumed I was working away in the datacenter and I just ended up playing along with it!

  44. Wouldn't Help 9/11 Divorce Guy by handy_vandal · · Score: 3, Informative

    Hoax background noises wouldn't have saved this guy ...:

    "The first divorce directly related to the September 11th terrorist attacks has been filed in New York. It appears a guy with an office on the 103rd floor of the World Trade Center spent the morning at his girlfriend's apartment wit his phone turned off. He wasn't watching TV either. When he turned his phone back on at about 11am, it rang immediately. It was his hysterical wife, "Are you OK? Where are you?" He said, "What do you mean? I'm in my office of course!"

    Source

    -kgj

    --
    -kgj
  45. Scott Adams Dreamed It Up First by avarame · · Score: 2, Funny
    I don't know where the Simeda people got their inspiration, but in his 1997 book book The Dilbert Future: Thriving on Stupidity in the 21st Century, Scott Adams of Dilbert fame described this invention precisely. Page 28:
    Excuse 9000 (tm)
    The patented Excuse 9000 device will add selected background noise to any phone conversation, giving you the perfect alibi for not being at work. Need a flat tire alibi? No problem. Just set the Excuse 9000 for "Highway Noise" and leave your boss a voicemail message from the comfort of your own bed. Other noises in the basic starter pack include: airliner going down, deep-lung coughing, and armed intruder.
    --
    Save time now so you can waste it later
  46. The Japanese have been there, done that. by Wohali · · Score: 3, Funny

    Yusen, a subscription music service, had so many free channels that a while ago they had two channels for this purpose: one that played sounds of a busy Tokyo train station, and another that played the sounds of an office. Turn on Yusen loud enough at your mistress' home, call your wife, and your have your proverbial cover.

    Then again, Yusen also had a channel of someone counting sheep. (I'm not making this up.) I think they got up to about 18,000 before the recording looped.

    --
    "But always she's the spectre of uncertainty I first endured, then faded, then embraced..."
  47. Saw this in MAD Magazine once... by Robotech_Master · · Score: 3, Insightful

    ...or at least in one of the old compilation paperback books of MAD gags. It was a piece on telephones of the future, and there was this phone with all these pushbuttons to add various sound effects like "coughing" "office" "dentist" and so on.

    Once again, life imitates art.

    --
    Editor Emeritus and Senior Writer, TeleRead.org
  48. it's time to copyright some ambient noise by Wennster · · Score: 2, Funny

    1. record some ambient noise, put it on KaZaA 2. join RIAA, SCO 3. ??? 4. Profit !!!

  49. You mean Cingular... by danielsfca2 · · Score: 2, Informative

    > I'll buy the one (Score:5, Funny) ...
    that makes my phone sound like it's losing the connection so I can get out of boring conversations easily.


    Here you go! This is the one you're looking for!

  50. Can it play silence by krusadr · · Score: 2, Funny

    to drown out the screams of the hot chick you are humping when the wife calls?

    --
    while sco {
    wget -O /dev/null http://www.sco.com?sco=litigious%20bastards
    }