Slashdot Mirror
Apple Patented by Microsoft
An anonymous reader writes "C|net is reporting that Microsoft received a patent on Tuesday for a new variety of apple tree. U.S. Plant Patent 14,757, granted to Robert Burchinal of East Wenatchee, Wash., and assigned to Microsoft, covers a new type of tree discovered in the early 1990s in the Wenatchee area, a major commercial apple-growing region. Dubbed the 'Burchinal Red Delicious,' the tree is notable for producing fruit that achieves a deep red color significantly earlier than other varieties. It is sold commercially as the 'Adams Apple.'" Apparently, the assignation of the patent to Microsoft was an error. Or so they would have us believe ...
MS Air, the most breatheable air you can find arround. Decreased cost on large volume orders of our EULAir licences.
Speaking of plant patents: Which patented plant are they smoking at the patent office.
Remember Apple Records' suing Apple Computer for selling music-related products? I bet they REALLY won't like this!
Props to GNAA!
OK, I give up. I see where this is going. Let's skip to the end move now: "Hey, M$, Take my DNA and patent it and put me out of my misery now."
well, you know how fast government works...
Just in, Microsoft has now patented it's users ! The Copyright Department of the US Gov. issued this copyright after it's head offical recieved an "anonymus" gift of 25,000,000,000. Microsoft claims patenet on it's users due to the fact it has integrated idiots across the nation into it's system, and they can't fuction without it :P
Sun patents the Moon, news at 11...
Unfortunately, in order to eat this apple you're going to have to have two mouths, 350 teeth, and the stomach the size of a small child.
The Human Cow - bringing you scrumtrelescence since 1995
Interesting that you can patent a tree you 'discovered', and did not create. Perhaps I'll patent air.
...this goes under the 'Apple' slashdot section?!?
A Microsoft spokesman refused to comment on the substance of the error, but alluded to a secret project named "Money Tree". When corrected that money does not in fact grow on trees, but rather on bushes and shrubs, the Microsoft spokesman paused in contemplation, then ran quickly to his car shouting "Eureka!". Microsoft stock finished up 1/4 to land at 26.30.
Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
Betcha that Microsoft apple gets attacked by a lot of worms called Sasser. Blue Seeds of Death?
Props to GNAA!
"Apple patented by Microsoft."
"sold commercially as the 'Adams Apple'"
We need some more, like...
"Just some more worms for Microsoft"
"Do they have plans for authentication?"
"Microsoft shows the softer side of a monopoly"
...and so on...
webpage
I knew the patent office was slow, but dang. April Fools day was over a month ago...
Apple (AAPL) registered a patent for a new device designed to transmit radient energy from the sun from outside houses to the interior of the house, using 4 glass pieces affixed in a wooden frame. Apple calls their new development a "Window". Apple stock finished up 1/2 to wind up at 26.65
Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress at this period in history.
What kind of (tree based) data structure is this? How would one go about making it AVL? ...and I thought B-Tree was bad.
$cat
I think you mean poplar. *snicker*
You know! Like the tree!
Apples grow on trees! It's a tree joke!
Anybody? Please? *sigh*
There goes my hope for ever having a +5 Funny post . . .philistines . . .
Hmmm....Adam's apple, the apple taken from the tree of wisdom. Joy. Just remember, God hath commanded that all ye who tasteth of the forbidden fruit be condemned to hell. Say hi to Billy when you get there.
Said an unnamed representative from the USPTO, "Oops, sorry, that one was supposed to go to Monsanto. Honestly, keeping track of evil amoral corporations these days is a real Pain-in-the-Ass(R)."
Schwab
Editor, A1-AAA AmeriCaptions
First SCO says it owns Linux, then Microsoft says it owns Apple... oh the horror!
Does this mean I should expect the blue sky of death?
It'll be Burchinal Red Delicious version 3.1 before you'd want to bake a pie with one.
Rumors are going wild about Microsoft thinking seriously to throw the towel and rename it's invention Aspire.
Achille Talon
Hop!
New Microshatter windows! They spontaneously shatter, allowing you to enjoy the deep blue sky (hereby trademarked as the Blue Screen of Delight)! Pick one up today! And another! And another....
If my answers frighten you, stop asking scary questions.
I would like to contest that it was I and I alone who invented the apple tree and as such I will be suing.
-God
Esoteric reference.
...but then I got hungry.
With 800,000,000 patents day they just assume it's for MS and then sort it out after, it actually saves money that way.
Your comment could not be validated, a closing sarcasam tag was detected without a matching opening tag or valid doctype please edit your document and try again.
I RTFMed, but I haven't a clue what assignation is being discussed. But it would be like the folks at Redmond to deny it. Hell, even Clinton denied his assignation.
It would be an Orchard and can you imagine how expensive it would be to handle the worms and still get productivity?
Stay tuned.
Web2.0: I love when people Flickr my cuil and digg my boingboing until my google is reddit and I start to yahoo
Beware - I've heard that eating Microsoft apples leads to endless core dumps...
I think God has prior art on this one..
Easy there, sport. For the record, I'm on no crusade against "the man". However, the day I put that many expletives into three paragraphs over a story on Slashdot, I'm putting a request into Facilities to move my cube at least 30 more feet from the soda machine.
...Steve Ballmer or Larry Ellison?
eom
Oh Come on, at least I didnt say "Imagine a beowolf cluster of these"
This sig intentionally left blank
Genetic modifications can be patented, not genetics themselves, and certainly not something which existed in nature with no input from man.
that's what you think. I hold the patent on human life! pay up!
-matt
And to paraphrase the Governator, "It's not a tuber."
This sig intentionally left justified.
SPACEBALLS
:)
Once upon a time warp...
In a galaxy very, very, very,
very, far away there lived
a ruthless race of beings
known as...Spaceballs.
Chapter Eleven
The evil leaders of Planet
Spaceball, having foolishly
squandered their precious
atmosphere, have devised a
secret plan to take every
breath of air away from
their peace-loving neighbor,
Planet Druidia.
Today is Princess Vespa's
wedding day. Unbeknownst
to the princess but knownst
to us, danger lurks in the
stars above...
If you can read this, you
don't need glasses.
----
DVD Details at Amazon
Now, back to work...
---
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. -- AE
...when you buy MS apples and MS air you get a free MS toaster*
*Please note MS toaster can only be used with MS butter and MS bread
"WebTV: bringing the Internet into the shallow end of the gene pool since 1995" - Martin Bishop
How about:
Dark Helmet: (low tone) The way Microsoft manages things it won't last six months.
-Jem...between a rotten apple and Windows XP?
One's probably infested with worms,
and the other one's a rotten apple.
The[y] say the mistake was issuing the patent to Microsoft
Understandable... that's the default in the "Patent Holder" field.
I don't think that word means what you think it means.
ATTENTION: LEAKED FROM THE BOWELS OF THE MICROSOFT UNDERGROUND
Deep inside the complex maze of offices at Redmond, microsoft is working on genetically modifying humans to produce THE PERFECT MCSE. After some trials on apple trees, they were practicing creating something that looks and tastes nice, but leaves a disgusting aftertaste. Now they are shifting focus to humans. The perfect MSCE has the following qualities:
Certainly there are more features, but I can't list them all. This is what I was able to smuggle out of there. Also, rumors say that the first few prototypes got horribly wrong and came out as hardcore apple and amiga zealots. They promptly killed themselves when dicovering the Windows Logo(tm) shaped mole.
(Yes, this is a joke, and totally fictional and impossible)
Perhaps Microsoft is trying to protect itself against Linux. If the windooze goes down, they will be happily running a gardening business :) Always have something to fall back upon. Though Farmer Billy sounds a little sily :) An apple could easily be used to break windows :)
This is a fair warning. I have just received a patent for "small pointy things growing off the end of an arm". I have decided to call them fingers. The "fingers" were discovered in 1987 at a grateful dead concert. Granted they seemed a lot more significant that night, but that does not matter...
In short, I now have the patent on these and if you are using them without my permission then you are in violation. My legal advisors Mr. Riaa and Mr. Sco have advised me that anyone sending typed correspondance must be using "fingers" and can be named on a mass supeana and sued.
(that counts for mod'ng me down also)