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What Would You Do With a 92 TBps Router?

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the hope-they-changed-the-passwords dept.

enodev writes "Cisco announces today it's new 'Carrier routing system' For a price tag starting at $450,000 it's able to route up to 92 Tbps. It also features IOS-XR and the first optical OC-768c/STM-256c optical Interface." update changed TBps to Tbps and suddenly things seemed less cool ;)

67 of 344 comments (clear)

  1. I know exactly what I'd do by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I begins with 'p' and ends with 'r0n'.

    1. Re:I know exactly what I'd do by savagedome · · Score: 5, Funny

      ends with 'r0n'

      Not to be picky but it starts with r0n and ends with Jeremy :D

      *ducks*

      --


      Free XBox, PS2
    2. Re:I know exactly what I'd do by baudilus · · Score: 2, Funny

      We assume the following is true:

      nerds : bandwidth :: crackheads : crack

      Now we assume that I have the kind of bandwidth that makes this router useful. And we all know what crackheads will do for crack...

      </sarcasm>

    3. Re:I know exactly what I'd do by Jugalator · · Score: 2, Funny

      It would be pretty fun to use it for pissing off RIAA big time too.

      --
      Beware: In C++, your friends can see your privates!
    4. Re:I know exactly what I'd do by Rick+the+Red · · Score: 2, Funny

      I know what I'd do: Sell it on eBay.

      WTF else am I going to do with it? Use it as a doorstop?

      --
      If all this should have a reason, we would be the last to know.
    5. Re:I know exactly what I'd do by Lehk228 · · Score: 2, Funny

      well if you want to download 92 TBps of gigantic schlong then go right ahead

      --
      Snowden and Manning are heroes.
    6. Re:I know exactly what I'd do by Rick.C · · Score: 2, Funny
      Forget the "Information Superhighway".

      I'd connect the output to the input and invent the "Information Cyclotron"!!

      --
      You were 80% angel, 10% demon. The rest was hard to explain. - Over The Rhine
      "Math in a song is good."-Linford
    7. Re:I know exactly what I'd do by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      Now we assume that I have the kind of bandwidth that makes this router useful. And we all know what crackheads will do for crack...

      If I ever see a guy on a street corner with a sign that says "will suck dick for bandwidth", then I'm quitting the computing profession.

    8. Re:I know exactly what I'd do by Gallowsgod · · Score: 2, Funny

      I begins with 'p' and ends with 'r0n'.

      That's right, aim low. Personally, I'd go to some bar where geek girls hang out and ask if any of them would want to go back to my place and see my 92TBps router.

      --

      The belief in a biblical god is an ignorant one
    9. Re:I know exactly what I'd do by shannara256 · · Score: 2, Funny

      > Not to be picky but it starts with r0n and ends with Jeremy

      Picky or pricky?

    10. Re:I know exactly what I'd do by E_elven · · Score: 2, Funny

      I'm afraid I have some bad news for you..

      --
      Marxist evolution is just N generations away!
  2. what would I do? by mrhandstand · · Score: 5, Funny

    Route traffic.

    --
    Always value the individual over the system. --Bruce Lee "I don't need a Sig - I have a custom 191" - me
    1. Re:what would I do? by dickiedoodles · · Score: 2, Funny

      At $450,000 I'd sell it

      --
      In Soviet Russia Slashdot cliches use you
    2. Re:what would I do? by ScottGant · · Score: 5, Funny

      I have a Linux machine and a WinXP machine that my wife uses. I'd probably use it to link them up. It would probably be faster than my Linksys router I'm using now.

      It could probably even take another computer on it too...but I wouldn't want to push it.

      --

      "Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it." - John Lennon.
    3. Re:what would I do? by NanoGator · · Score: 2, Funny

      "Finally be able to play a 16 player lan game of quake AND any other game without the other game suffering... "

      I've got a 100 megabit switch I'll sell ya for a much cheaper 100 grand.

      --
      "Derp de derp."
  3. Various uses by chendo · · Score: 4, Funny

    Horny bastard: Porn. Lots of porn.

    Script kiddie: OMG I CAN DOS PPL!!!!!!!111111111oneone

    Pirate: Warez, and other assorted treasures.

    CowboyNeal: Hey, we can use it to host slashdot!

    --
    Founder of Mirror Moon - Tsukihime Game Trans
  4. I would be very, very pissed... by jbarr · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...because my home network equipment only has 100Mbps adapters, and I can't afford to upgrade them all.

    --
    My mom always said, "Jim, you're 1 in a million." Given the current population, there are 7000 of me. God help us all!
  5. I know what I'm gonna do by 6Yankee · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hang it off the back of my 56k modem, what do you think I'm gonna do with it? Sheesh!

  6. What Would You Do With a 92 TBps Router? by perrinkog · · Score: 5, Funny

    "What Would You Do With a 92 TBps Router?"

    Pinky : "Gee, Brain what do you want to do tonight?"
    Brain : "The same thing we do every night Pinky. Try to take over the world!"

    --
    (Karma = auto -1)
  7. Re:I would... by Rosyna · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yeah, is there any other thing to do with that much bandwidth? You could get porn at such high resolution you can see the ingrown hairs on the porn "actress'" butt.

    "My bunghole itches. Is it because I am a girl?"

  8. that could by cassidyc · · Score: 3, Funny

    pump out a lot of spam...

    Failing that with enough filespace it could server an awful lot of mp3/ogg/aac

    CJC

    1. Re:that could by Fearless+Freep · · Score: 3, Funny

      pump out a lot of spam...

      from that Windows-based supercomputer...

    2. Re:that could by Patrik_AKA_RedX · · Score: 4, Funny
      pump out a lot of spam...
      And someone modded this "Interesting". I think you've given someone an idea. May God save our inboxes...
    3. Re:that could by Patrik_AKA_RedX · · Score: 2, Funny

      She can, but not full-duplex.

  9. hrm... by morgajel · · Score: 4, Funny

    Make a CD Case?

    actually, I just hook it up in my apartment and not tell anyone- then the next lan party I host not get complaints that my network is too slow.
    (bastards.)

    --
    Looking for Book Reviews? Check out Literary Escapism.
  10. Re:More info.... by Rhubarb+Crumble · · Score: 5, Funny
    "The new router design is the first developed by Cisco that allows several routers to be connected, according to the company. A single router would be able to transmit data at 1.2 terabits a second. But as many as 72 routers can be hooked together to send data at 92 terabits a second, far faster than any router sold now."

    I have this weird image of a pile 72 routers being daisy-chained serially, with the insanely grinning salesman standing next to it saying "Look! If you connect them to each other they go twice as fast! It goes up to 11!"

    Now that gold-plated high-speed modem cable will finally come in handy!

  11. Damn YOU! by hot_Karls_bad_cavern · · Score: 1, Funny

    My cable modem choked on just downloading those specs (and that pricetag)!!! O_o

    Now it's huddled in the corner crying about "too much pressure to perform" or some such crap! Thanks a lot you insensitive clod!

  12. Careful by choas · · Score: 5, Funny

    Now you guys please be careful not to /. Cisco :)

    --
    I will work to elevate you, just enough to bring you down
  13. After Much Deliberation.... by bfg9000 · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... I'd sell it and buy an Aston Martin. I'm not THAT much of a geek -- big routers just don't attract the babes the way I'd like.

    --

    I'm not normally an irrational zealous dickhead, but I figure "When in Rome..."

    1. Re:After Much Deliberation.... by prescot6 · · Score: 1, Funny

      big routers just don't attract the babes the way I'd like.

      You must be using them wrong.

    2. Re:After Much Deliberation.... by Patrik_AKA_RedX · · Score: 5, Funny

      You know, each time I see some guy driving one those cars I can't help feeling sorry for him for the size of his "router".

    3. Re:After Much Deliberation.... by stienman · · Score: 4, Funny

      Way to give the ladies a headache, dude...

      "Oooh, Aston Martin! Argh! Geek! But it is an Astin Martin... but that geek! Ugh... I wonder if I can unbundle this comingled product - Where's an antitrust lawyer when you need one?"

      -Adam

  14. What would I do.... by wpiman · · Score: 1, Funny

    Why- I would heat my house with it of course. Anyone have any numbers on the power consumption of this beast?

    1. Re:What would I do.... by mog007 · · Score: 2, Funny

      anywhere near your computer plan to surf naked.

      Considering the amount of porn you could amass with this thing, I'd say it's a pretty likely bet that the user WOULD be naked. Clothing just gets in the way.

      --
      Learn something new.
  15. What I would do.... by michael+path · · Score: 4, Funny

    The first thing I'd do is set it up for use with my Cable Modem connection.

    Immediately, I'd notice it wouldn't work.

    Then I'd call up my technical support for the cable service, and tell them I couldn't connect.

    They would have me unplug the modem from the "PC", shut down my computer, and reboot it. It wouldn't work.

    Then they'd have me cycle the cable modem.

    Then they'd ask me if I had a router. I would say "Yeah, I do bitches! I got me a Cisco 92TBps. Cost me almost a half-mil, but it's sooo cool!"

    Then they'd tell me it was unsupported, to which I'd respond I would wedge that pizza box sideways up their asses.

    THE END

    1. Re:What I would do.... by darc · · Score: 2, Funny

      Actually, the conversation would go more like this:

      You: "Hello?"
      "PLEASE DIAL ONE FOR BUSINESS SUPPORT, TWO FOR..."
      *five*
      You: "Hello?"
      "PLEASE ENTER THE ID NUM..."
      *fivefivefiveonetwoonetwo*
      Them: *thick indian accent* "Hello?"
      You: "What?"
      Them: "Yes, hello." ...
      Them: "Do you have a router?"
      You: "No, I don't want to buy a scooter."
      Them: "No no, a router."
      You: "Oh yes, I have a Cisco 92TBps."
      Them: "What did you say about my mother?"
      You: "I said, I have a Cisco 92tbps router."
      Them: "Why must you say such horrible things about.."
      *click*

      At this point, it's best to give up, and just post a stupid, but popular question to ask slashdot to better show off the router. "I just acquired a Cisco 92TBps router and am trying to set up an ISP in my apartment building using only a thimble of wax and a two by four wood plank with a nail in it. Can someone tell me my legal liabilities for this ISP, and an open source solution to manage the whole thing, as well as an OS replacement for the cisco IOS firmware?"

      --
      Tired of legitimate data sources? Try UNCYCLOPEDIA
  16. slashdot by kjeldor · · Score: 5, Funny

    I would...
    for the first time ever...
    *gasps*
    attempt to slashdot slashdot.

  17. Re:But... by CaptnMArk · · Score: 4, Funny

    TCP/IP over OpenGL over DRM?

  18. What Would You Do With a 92 TBps Router? by kemapa · · Score: 1, Funny

    Compete for the X-Prize with it?

    *ducks*

  19. With a 95% confidence level, by gutterandthestars · · Score: 5, Funny

    90% of posts will be 1.1 standard deviations away from one of the following:

    0. "fist pr0st!!!!!111~"
    1. "92TBps of pr0n!!!"
    2. "Imagine a beowulf cluster of these!"
    3. "I for one welcome our OC-768c/STM-256/optical Interface overlords!"
    4. "1. OC-768c 2. STM-256 3. ... 4. PROFIT!!!"
    5. "If IOS is based on unix, does that mean Cisco will have to pay SCO for licenses?"
    6. "I use BNC you insensitive clod!"
    7. "emacs does this

    1. Re:With a 95% confidence level, by mooingyak · · Score: 5, Funny

      I think you forgot:

      "All of your routers are belong to us"
      and
      "In Soviet Russia, traffic routes you"

      You nailed the rest of the cliches I can think of though.

      --
      William of Ockham had no beard. The most likely explanation is that it was chewed off by squirrels every morning.
    2. Re:With a 95% confidence level, by Sir-Techlot · · Score: 2, Funny

      Another slashdot cliche: "BSD is dying"

      Of course, there is always the slashdot random story generator

      One guy in our office had his default home page set to slashdot. Someone changed it to this page. It took him 10 minutes before he noticed.

  20. Re:Terabits, not terabytes by prescot6 · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...the article calls it 92 Tbps, not 92 TBps. Which means its really 19 terabytes per second.

    Psh.. only 19 terabytes? I _was_ excited, but now...

    :)
  21. Vast knowledge by marco0009 · · Score: 2, Funny

    I would download the Library of Congress...

    and then porn.
    On a more serious note, I would very much like to setup my own "Internet Node". No need for me to pay for sattelite internet any more, the internet comes to me!

    --
    Physics makes the world go 'round.
  22. Well, I'd... by GeneralEmergency · · Score: 2, Funny


    ...connect up a bunch of those Beowulf Clusters you /.ers are always on about!

    --
    "A microprocessor... is a terrible thing to waste." --
    GeneralEmergency
  23. I'd... by fizban · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...route all traffic to www.slashdot.org and slash the dot.

    --

    +1 Insightful, -1 Troll. What can I say, I'm an Insightful Troll.

  24. interesting story (or maybe not) by CAIMLAS · · Score: 4, Funny

    I had a silly asignment for a class of mine: look up and a router, tell me what it can do, and then compare/contrast the router you picked with one another classmate picked.

    Being the sadistic mothrefucker that I am, I hopped over to cisco's site at about 1am and saw this beast listed "Carrier Router System". I didn't recognize it as a "normal" Cisco offering, and 92Tb/s is really fucking fast. Though, beyond that, I didn't think anything of it. Cisco is just expected to have the fastest stuff out there, right? And to think, were I more up on my Cisco products, I could've submitted this to the front page. (And they could have denied me access, and posted someone else's submission 12 hours later, as tends to be the case around here :P)

    As it sands, those sorry sons-of-bitches in my IT200 networking course are going to hate me. They likely all picked SOHO equipment to compare/contrast and won't know up from down when it comes to comparing/contrasting. "What's 'Tbps' mean?" they'll ask.

    --
    ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
  25. Looking at Longhorn minimum requirements ... by supergiovane · · Score: 1, Funny

    ... maybe it will be enough for an 8 nodes Windows supercomputer. Obviously, if you want a 16 nodes Windows cluster, you will need a slightly more speedy hardware.

    --
    Signatures are for stupids.
  26. Top 10 by darnok · · Score: 5, Funny

    10. Tell all my mates. Note the names of the one or two who don't laugh at me, and remember to send them, and only them, Xmas cards this year

    9. Get a really really fast sniffer, so I can make sure there's no porn traffic going through my router

    8. Write out 92Tb as a decimal number, just because I know it'll look really impressive

    7. Use it to pick up chicks. Revert to old story about being in astronaut training program, as it would be just as successful and slightly less geeky

    6. It's optical, right? See what happens when I cross the beams...

    5. Sleep with it under my bed. Less painful than a vasectomy, and probably just as effective

    4. Paint go-fast stripes on it, put a "Turbo" sticker on it, then track down and razz anyone who spent $450k on the "old, non-turbo version" by mistake

    3. Use it to beat the living daylights out of everyone associated with "Big Brother". I really really hate that show

    2. Advertise it on eBay with a photo, no reserve, and a description of "some sort of computer network thingy"

    1. Buy 2 and see if they'll reproduce in captivity

  27. Re:Terabits, not terabytes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    ...which works out to some ungodly number of libraries of congress per fortnight.

    Ok, I always get this confused. Is a "Library of Congress" a unit of weight, volume, or information?

  28. Time Travel? by the+eric+conspiracy · · Score: 3, Funny


    Put some instant coffee inside to see if I could go back in time....

  29. Newbie Question... by etLux · · Score: 1, Funny


    All this router stuff really confuses me.

    Could somebody please tell me how to hook this thing up to my PDA?

  30. BSEG... by mr.+methane · · Score: 3, Funny

    conf t
    int pos 2/0
    *giggle*
    shut
    *cackle*
    no shut
    *snort*
    shut
    *ROFL*
    no shut
    "Sir, I can't see anything wrong with the network. It must (shut) be a problem (no shut) with your equipment.

  31. What I would do is... by JustNiz · · Score: 2, Funny

    Sell it and pay off my mortgage.

  32. What would I do? by dentar · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hook a modem up to it and start surfing!

    --
    -- I am. Therefore, I think!
  33. I'd have first post on /. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    heh

  34. mirror by OglinTatas · · Score: 2, Funny

    mirror, in case of slashdotting

    --
    More music, fewer hits
  35. Cisco web by zcougar · · Score: 2, Funny

    Can it make Cisco website faster?

  36. You're all missing one thing by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Casemod it :)

  37. Longhorn Requirement by cylcyl · · Score: 5, Funny

    In other news, MS says such routers need to be installed in every home to allow the downloading of Longhorn patches.

    1. Re:Longhorn Requirement by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      And as a new feature in Longhorn, Windows will only hog 90Tbps of you internet connection.

  38. And the other 10%... by dark-br · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...would be ppl with lists of the other 90%.

    God, i love this place!

  39. What to do, what to do... by phyruxus · · Score: 4, Funny

    >>Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Pinky?
    >>I think so Brain, but how can we afford to get a router that can do 92 Tb/s?
    >>Pinky, what did I tell you about reading /. before we plot our schemes?

    --
    "A witty saying proves nothing." ~Voltaire
    "d'Oh!" ~Homer
  40. I could finally.... by Excelsior · · Score: 2, Funny

    Keep my system up to date with windowsupdate.microsoft.com.

  41. More Importantly by sharkey · · Score: 2, Funny

    Has Cisco installed the same backdoor as in previous version of their software?

    --

    --
    "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
  42. Bongos by marmot1101 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Us it to route TCP/IP Over Bongos

  43. Re:How do you test it? by bugnuts · · Score: 2, Funny

    I can just imagine cisco getting a call...

    "Hi, I just bought one of your 92T routers, and a few minutes ago, I only got 101,155,069,755,390 bits through in one of the seconds. Can you send me my two bits please?"