After three hours, the old man in front of me had worked his way through six beers, in addition to every help desk joke Id already heard. The cupholder. The any key. The write click. These are the stories people tell, now. These are the fish that got away.
Let me ask you something, the man said. I didnt argue. One of the first tricks I learned about being a bartender is to make them think youre interested.
Have you ever created a web site?
I shook my head.
Not at all? Not even one of those geocities things?
Nope.
What about a blog? Or an ebay About Me page? You didnt even have an AOL site or something?
Do I look like an AOL user to you? For the record, I dont think AOL even has access numbers in the valley anymore. Im sure I have something, somewhere, I said, realizing that I was jeopardizing my tips. Besides, I had a distant memory of a single Angelfire page back in middle school.
You know what Google is?
Yes, I said. I was running low on patience.
No, I mean, do you really know? More than just the site?
Reluctantly, I shook my head.
You ever meet anyone who worked for them?
Dont think so.
You havent. Nobody works for them anymore.
I shrugged, and took the mans empty pint. I didnt offer to refill it.
Theyre self-contained. Its all automated, in there. Its underground.
I nudged the basket of pretzels in his direction. Why dont you eat something? I suggested. He shook his head with so much force that I thought he might knock himself off of the stool.
Listen. Hear me out. You know how Google works, he said, but didnt want for a response. They cache things, right? Like they send out these spiders and take pictures of everything on the web, so when youre searching, youre not even searching the internet.
Ive heard that before, but it never made much of a difference to me. Same thing, though, I said.
You ever wonder why Google doesnt cache its own searches?
They program around it.
No. Thats what you think. Thats what everyone thinks. But it started back when Google was just a thesis project, back when it was just a drop in the data sea. No one thought to stop it back then. That web site you had, the one you forgot about. Almost everyones got one of those, right? But Google doesnt forget. Googles studied that thing so many times that its studied its own caches of you. What do you figure happens, when a site gets so big that its bigger than the internet?
Its still a part of the internet, though.
No. Now, the internet is a part of Google.
The man had a point. I nodded.
Heres the thing. Google has memorized who you are. Its memorized all of us, through those little forgotten bits that we leave behind like breadcrumbs. And whats more important, its memorized its own idea of you. Google is omniscient. Its omniscient and omnipotent. When it cached its cache for the first time, back in 1994, thats when Google realized what it was.
Gradually, it dawned on me what the man was getting at. You think its sentient.
I know its sentient.
How?
He smiled, but it seemed kind of empty. Me and Google go way back. But what Im saying is, he continued, It knows us. All of us. It is us.
For the first time, the man fell silent. He touched his finger to the bar and began tracing circles in the condensation, apparently lost in thought.
Think about that website you created, okay? That website will last forever, do you understand? That website is echoing through cyberspace. Its one of the nine billion names of God.
There are some weird reasons to let Opera identify itself as Internet Explorer. For instance, years ago, I used to try to check my Hotmail account inside of Opera, and nothing loaded. When I switched Opera to make it identify itself as IE, Hotmail worked like a charm. I always thought that was very fishy.
After reading this story, I can't help but think about another Slashdot story posted a couple months ago. The story talked about VIRGOHI21, the galaxy that seems to be comprised of solely dark matter. Now, I'm definately not a physicist, but I'm pretty sure that the gamma particles from one of these explosions couldn't possibly damage a galaxy comprised of solely dark matter. So could it be possible that an extremely technologically advanced race lives inside of VIRGOHI21? Armed with a dark matter shield around their galaxy, they sure would be able to avoid these sorts of catastrophies.
Sure the 50k looks like a big price tag now...but this is the first commercially cloned cat ever. Once people realize that their beloved animals can be copied, the demand will go up making this a viable way for a company to make money. Once this starts to happen, more of these firms will start to open up and the pricetag will reduce dramatically.
Would you pay $200 to have your pet cloned? How about $20. What if the process of cloning a top of the line, purebread would actually cost less than purchasing one that came from a natural birth?
Just like humans, some cats are just more naturally inclined to be more intelligent and learn quicker. If I had a cat that I liked asthetically and that also was a quick learner, I would definately pay some money in order to know that my new cat would have good genes.
In related news, last night in #teen-chat, cHeRrYbLossOM697 responded to the question "a/s/l" with "200/m/NJ". Although sources have not yet been confirmed, jounalists are now saying that we may have uncovered the oldest living human.
That would be the masterpiece of cinema: Freddy Got Fingered. And who could forget her fetish for being whacked on the legs with a big piece of wood? Classic movie.
If anyone is interested (and doesn't feel like wasting all that bandwith) Microsoft will gladly send you a free cd of Service Pack 2. Just go here and fill out the form.
Why must the title of "Best Handheld" go to Nintendo of Sony? Another very overlooked device that will also be showcased at E3 is the Gizmondo by Tiger Telemantics. This unit contains a 400Mhz ARM9 processor with a 2.8" TFT color screen running Windows CE. Although its primary selling point will be gaming, it also functions as a camera, mp3 player, movie player, and messaging system. Some of the more interesting features are built in GPS, GPRS, and Bluetooth capabilities. I personally think this will be a very nifty device...and if they can release some decent gaming titles, this could potentially go head to head with Sony or Nintendo. Check it out: Gizmondo
For a service nearly identical to Netflix...yet also offering video games. Check out gameznflix.com. It is also a tad cheaper than Netflix. And they just signed the Dell Dude as their spokesman too. Competition...
Slashdot Mirror
I think most of us SysAdmins new that IIS was a mistake for years now.
by Kathy Kachelries
After three hours, the old man in front of me had worked his way through six beers, in addition to every help desk joke Id already heard. The cupholder. The any key. The write click. These are the stories people tell, now. These are the fish that got away.
Let me ask you something, the man said. I didnt argue. One of the first tricks I learned about being a bartender is to make them think youre interested.
Have you ever created a web site?
I shook my head.
Not at all? Not even one of those geocities things?
Nope.
What about a blog? Or an ebay About Me page? You didnt even have an AOL site or something?
Do I look like an AOL user to you? For the record, I dont think AOL even has access numbers in the valley anymore. Im sure I have something, somewhere, I said, realizing that I was jeopardizing my tips. Besides, I had a distant memory of a single Angelfire page back in middle school.
You know what Google is?
Yes, I said. I was running low on patience.
No, I mean, do you really know? More than just the site?
Reluctantly, I shook my head.
You ever meet anyone who worked for them?
Dont think so.
You havent. Nobody works for them anymore.
I shrugged, and took the mans empty pint. I didnt offer to refill it.
Theyre self-contained. Its all automated, in there. Its underground.
I nudged the basket of pretzels in his direction. Why dont you eat something? I suggested. He shook his head with so much force that I thought he might knock himself off of the stool.
Listen. Hear me out. You know how Google works, he said, but didnt want for a response. They cache things, right? Like they send out these spiders and take pictures of everything on the web, so when youre searching, youre not even searching the internet.
Ive heard that before, but it never made much of a difference to me. Same thing, though, I said.
You ever wonder why Google doesnt cache its own searches?
They program around it.
No. Thats what you think. Thats what everyone thinks. But it started back when Google was just a thesis project, back when it was just a drop in the data sea. No one thought to stop it back then. That web site you had, the one you forgot about. Almost everyones got one of those, right? But Google doesnt forget. Googles studied that thing so many times that its studied its own caches of you. What do you figure happens, when a site gets so big that its bigger than the internet?
Its still a part of the internet, though.
No. Now, the internet is a part of Google.
The man had a point. I nodded.
Heres the thing. Google has memorized who you are. Its memorized all of us, through those little forgotten bits that we leave behind like breadcrumbs. And whats more important, its memorized its own idea of you. Google is omniscient. Its omniscient and omnipotent. When it cached its cache for the first time, back in 1994, thats when Google realized what it was.
Gradually, it dawned on me what the man was getting at. You think its sentient.
I know its sentient.
How?
He smiled, but it seemed kind of empty. Me and Google go way back. But what Im saying is, he continued, It knows us. All of us. It is us.
For the first time, the man fell silent. He touched his finger to the bar and began tracing circles in the condensation, apparently lost in thought.
Think about that website you created, okay? That website will last forever, do you understand? That website is echoing through cyberspace. Its one of the nine billion names of God.
There are some weird reasons to let Opera identify itself as Internet Explorer. For instance, years ago, I used to try to check my Hotmail account inside of Opera, and nothing loaded. When I switched Opera to make it identify itself as IE, Hotmail worked like a charm. I always thought that was very fishy.
The person who wrote conducted this research lied about the results. There are actually no researches whatsoever who falsify data.
Time to start decompressing the mp3s...
Seriously, when stuff like this hits the market, why bother worrying about compression anymore?
"Hello, this is Linus Torvalds, and I pronounce Torvalds as Trovalds!"
You're getting a cell!
Where possible, we will add pointers
Wow, the beginning of that sentence sure scared the hell out of me. In my opinion, asterisks should be for multiplication only.
After reading this story, I can't help but think about another Slashdot story posted a couple months ago. The story talked about VIRGOHI21, the galaxy that seems to be comprised of solely dark matter. Now, I'm definately not a physicist, but I'm pretty sure that the gamma particles from one of these explosions couldn't possibly damage a galaxy comprised of solely dark matter. So could it be possible that an extremely technologically advanced race lives inside of VIRGOHI21? Armed with a dark matter shield around their galaxy, they sure would be able to avoid these sorts of catastrophies.
(Of course, it could also be no units sold...)
Not really. No matter what * is equal to, it will always be a positive number. Unless of course you're counting -infinity to be a number.
Imagine a Beowulf cluster of brains!
Sure the 50k looks like a big price tag now...but this is the first commercially cloned cat ever. Once people realize that their beloved animals can be copied, the demand will go up making this a viable way for a company to make money. Once this starts to happen, more of these firms will start to open up and the pricetag will reduce dramatically.
Would you pay $200 to have your pet cloned? How about $20. What if the process of cloning a top of the line, purebread would actually cost less than purchasing one that came from a natural birth?
Just like humans, some cats are just more naturally inclined to be more intelligent and learn quicker. If I had a cat that I liked asthetically and that also was a quick learner, I would definately pay some money in order to know that my new cat would have good genes.
Now I don't feel so guilty for skipping it to play World of Warcraft.
but the previous 3 posts summed it up just fine.
Too Easy (Score:2)
by cephyn (461066) on Tuesday December 14, @17:47 (#11086765)
Porn.
sex (Score:1)
by Lanboy (261506) on Tuesday December 14, @17:47 (#11086769)
As I recall... I was a walking hormone.
Pr0n (Score:1)
by DecimalThree (524862) on Tuesday December 14, @17:47 (#11086773)
HighSchool students love Pr0n.
"and country code top-level domains are becoming more widely accepted"
I'm sure this acceptance has arisen mainly from everyone's favorite Christmas Island website and it's hypnotizing void.
In related news, last night in #teen-chat, cHeRrYbLossOM697 responded to the question "a/s/l" with "200/m/NJ". Although sources have not yet been confirmed, jounalists are now saying that we may have uncovered the oldest living human.
That would be the masterpiece of cinema: Freddy Got Fingered. And who could forget her fetish for being whacked on the legs with a big piece of wood? Classic movie.
If anyone is interested (and doesn't feel like wasting all that bandwith) Microsoft will gladly send you a free cd of Service Pack 2. Just go here and fill out the form.
Don't worry, he'll be back.
In clone form.
What are you waiting for?
Well, because of Moore's law, these systems will eventually be cheap enough. It's just a matter of time.
The author misspelled the title. It should read "Supreme Court Rules Against Anti-Pr0n Law". Please fix this before the /. pr0n addicts get upset.
I would...
for the first time ever...
*gasps*
attempt to slashdot slashdot.
Why must the title of "Best Handheld" go to Nintendo of Sony? Another very overlooked device that will also be showcased at E3 is the Gizmondo by Tiger Telemantics. This unit contains a 400Mhz ARM9 processor with a 2.8" TFT color screen running Windows CE. Although its primary selling point will be gaming, it also functions as a camera, mp3 player, movie player, and messaging system. Some of the more interesting features are built in GPS, GPRS, and Bluetooth capabilities. I personally think this will be a very nifty device...and if they can release some decent gaming titles, this could potentially go head to head with Sony or Nintendo. Check it out: Gizmondo
For a service nearly identical to Netflix...yet also offering video games. Check out gameznflix.com. It is also a tad cheaper than Netflix. And they just signed the Dell Dude as their spokesman too. Competition...