Slashdot Mirror
Playing Games While Not Ruining Your Relationship?
Silicon Mike asks: "A nice sized group of us here at work recently picked up City of Heroes, and started playing together. While all of us were gamers to some extent, now we're all pretty addicted and want to play together online all the time. The problem some of us are running into is that our significant others aren't too happy with us gaming all the time. Other then the two obvious solutions (quit playing or dump the significant other) I'm wondering how other people have deal with it? I tried installing Zoo Tycoon on my other computer and saying 'Look honey, cute bears' but she just didn't bite."
Or obvious solution #3... Regular /.'s don't have to worry about this "problem", so why ask me^H^Hthem?
Hmmm.
'Look honey, cute bears' but she just didn't bite."
You're lucky, I'd have bitten your head off after a comment like that.
I agree spend time with the SO at home and play at work!
Sig temporarily out of service.
tsk tsk... bears? should've used bunnies. Always gets them.
What are they talking about? I've built plenty of meaningful relationships in the Sims!
Click for offensive t-sh
And fill in the blank with any habbit except maybe "flowers buyer"
"I can not bring myself to believe that if knowledge presents danger, the solution is ignorance" - Isaac Asimov
Just play the game, man. Jeez, who the hell wears the pants in *your* relationship?
I think I speak for a collective 47.6% of all slashdotters when I say... WHA-PSSSH!!!
'When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.' -HST
We did get in a fight one night, though, when I called her Aeris . . . .
...keep playing! If this is even an issue, you are such a clueless loser that we don't want to even risk the chance that you will ever breed.
</bitterness>
Seriously, you just need to budget your time. A few games, then some time together doing whatever, then another game.
Or you can always just wait until she goes to bed to start playing.
This is slashdot, it is most definitely implied that your "significant other" is virtual/not real, so just close the program or put it back in the closet. Problem solved.
--"The perfect example of the man of action is the suicide." - William Carlos Williams
And fill in the blank with any habbit except maybe "flowers buyer" "Cunnilingus giver" would rate highly with the ladies, too. :)
"You know, I should have dumped that old broad and played more video games..."
Yeah because "Man I bent over backwards for that cow and she STILL dumped me" is so much better.
But the chances of making the highscore list are very, very slim.
I met my girlfriend 2.5 years ago, at that point she was using her computer only to send some emails, browse some sites and do stuff for school/work.
Now she owns a casemodded computer including a pretty state-of-the-art videocard and simular soundsystem and tft monitoy. When she is at my place in the weekends she brings her rig with her and we play lot's of lan-games together. And she also goes with me to a monthly lan party.
It's all a question of training my friend.. training....
Life starts at the end of your comfort zone.
but when you're 60 and you can say "I've found the Amulet of Yendor" it will all be worth it. hehe
*bedeebedeebedeebedeebeep*
He: (boom, zzzot, blam) HELLO?
She: Hi, hon-hey, what's that in the background?
He: (boom, *boooOoom*) (whispering) dudes, turn it down or put on some pr0n or something, quick! -- NOTHING, HOney!
She: Don't you lie to me...
He: (ooooh, baby, come back to bed nooowww...) Look, I know I'm on a business trip, this sorta thing happens.
She: Don't you LIE to me, you worthless bastard!
He: (slurp, groan) Sometimes these things happen, I'll make it up to you, honest!
She: BULLSHIT! You're not ON a business trip! You're not even in a HOTEL ROOM with some CHEAP FLOOZIE!
He: Bu-but, I can exp-
She: You're at one of those FUCKING LAN PARTIES AGAIN, AREN'T YOU?*click*
I could have kept the SNES turned on that night and not gone out. I wouldn't have met her. I wouldn't have let her move in. I wouldn't have let her scratch the sides of two of my cars. I wouldn't have spent silly amounts of money on bathroom accessories..?
I would have a decent PC and a proper gaming life.
How cruel can it be?
This post contains benzene, nitrosamines, formaldehyde and hydrogen cyanide.
track7.org has all kinds of interesting stuff!
Anyhow, my girlfriend (er, fiance... gotta get used to that before the wedding) is more important to me than numbing my mind in front of the Xbox. If yours isn't, well, maybe it's time to cut her loose and pursue your real interests.
:-)
Too late, just start using wife.
My wife gave me a quite an "interesting" look when I referred to her as my girl friend after the wedding day.
Tried to convince her that it meant that I would always consider her more then just my wife
www.christopherlewis.com
Imagine a beowulf cluster of significant others.
I'm right there with you. My SO absolutely HATES gaming... but she'll talk on the phone for 6 hours straight given the opportunity. Both of us are happy.
:)
The only difference is after she's done she actually thinks I'm interested in how ugly her best friends brother's cousin's roomate's nephew's baby is while I'm fully aware she couldn't give a crap if my Necromancer leveled !twice! tonight.
LilMikey.com... I'll stop doing it when you sto
EXCELLENT ANSWER!
now if i can just get past the pms pit of fiery hell i'll make it boobyland!
So you're not married yet. My guess is that after a few years of marriage, numbing your mind with the Xbox won't seem like such a bad thing. Really- some guys drink to ease the pain. If all you are doing is playing games, I don't think that is too bad.
No reason to lie.
So I have two suggestions: either cut back on the gaming a bit - for example, set aside certain nights to not play - or tell me your username and what server are you are on. I'll tell my wife, you guys can hang out together online, and I'll take your SO to a movie.
Everyone knows that damage is done to the soul by bad motion pictures. -Pope Pius XI
You have a Kid old enough to play them with you! Then she won't even give you a second glance, she'll be so happy to have "a father who wants to spend time with his kid", ie, get some sleep herself!
SJW: a person who perceives an injustice, and while correcting it, commits a greater injustice.
Video games don't whine (well, good ones). Video games don't call you at work and DEMAND you spend more time with them. Video games don't pull stupid dramatic stunts that even high schoolers would laugh at to get you to pay attention to them. Video games demand time and money, sure, but they're not guilting you with WE NEVER GO OUT!!! and WE'RE GOING TO VISIT MY PSYCHOTIC MOTHER!!!. Video games do not withhold sex over something as stupid as showing up five minutes late.
In short, video games are better than a bad relationship by orders of magnitude. I'd rather play Daikatana than spend ten minutes with my ex. Yeah, relationships are a give and take thing, but when you're doing all the giving and SheBitch, Queen of the Universe is doing all of the taking, well.... fuck that noise. GTA calls.
A good relationship, on the other hand, is a completely different story. Bad relationships drive me to video games. Good ones leave me with little inclination to pick up the control pad.
Huh? Has anyone actually tried this? I mean, unlike Leisure Suit Larry, the game you describe may have better graphics, but the gameplay itself is as boring as the Sims, and the speed-up key can only be used once a day, and in an astonishing display of programmer ignorance, the speed-up key only works at night when you're trying to game! At least the Sims design team got that part right -- you want to fast-forward during the day when you're at work and nobody's home!
> instead of exploring levels of some fake world, figure out what places you can take your woman to in the real world that get her in the mood. figure out how to get her to do x and y things that she would never think of doing.
And the list of defects goes on. Like, there's no fucking save/restore feature either! I mean, you spend six weeks of game time setting up a surprise menage-a-trois with you, your girlfriend and just *one* lousy goat, and if the persuade roll fails, all you can do is pull out the old .45 and restart.
No way, man, "RL" is teh suck. I wouldn't even warez it.
I'm right in the middle of the exact same situation.
..."
:)
For those of you who think compromise is out of the question... well, there's always going to be at least a little compromise.
If the girl is living with you, the only thing you can do is play late, late into the night and forego sleep entirely.
BUT...
If she's NOT living with you, there's some things you can do to maximize game time, and minimize relationship stress:
MAKING TIME
-----------
* Say "I'm concerned that you're not having enough fun on your own, away from me. You should really go out with your friends tonight. I don't mind, really."
* Pretend you have something really man-oriented and boring that you have to do, that she hates. Such as: Buying stuff for work at the electronics store, taking the car in for service, helping a friend fix his car, or building a spice rack for her. She'll leave on her own. Be sure to buy a spice rack in advance.
* If you play online games, try to get a friend to "prep" your account before you play to maximize your in-game time doing what you want to do (and not reequipping, etc.)
* Determine the minimum number of hours you can sleep. Obvious.
* Eliminate all of your friends and other unnecessary distractions.
* Buy the fastest motorcycle you can get. They're cheap and great on gas. This minimizes commuting time. Also, move closer to work.
* Buy groceries online. Shopping is a horrible timekiller. Buy foods that can be prepared quickly.
* Hire a maid if you can afford it for the cleaning.
* For the remaining chores: Many guys do chores and other boring stuff after the girl leaves. Screw that. Get that stuff out of the way while she's still there. When she leaves, you're not doing dishes/laundry, you're gaming!
* Feed her turkey and insist that you really want to see that three hour Senate lecture on CSPAN. When she falls asleep, game time!
* Find out the latest possible reservation you can make at a nice restaurant. Say, 8:30pm. Around 5:00pm, say, "I've got reservations to a great place. You'll love it. But I need to finish this. Don't worry, we have time." Works well. When she harasses you about it, say "soon... soon..." Easily stretchable to 3 hours.
GUILTING FOR TIME
-----------------
* I have actually used this line, and it has worked. "Babe, if I don't get at least 3 hours of gaming each day, I get really cranky. I don't want to take that out on you." It actually worked, she occasionally just says "why don't you go play your game for a while."
* Explain that since you dumped all your friends (for her of course), that your online buddies are "your real friends, who I've known for years. It's the same as if a friend asked me to go bowling or something, you can't ask me to cut them off. Besides, I promised earlier I'd help my friend learn
* Hooking the girl on her own game doesn't work. Period. If they're already a gamer, you probably don't have too much of a problem, assuming they like to play what you play, which is very unlikely. Such toys only hold their interest so long (usually a few minutes) to non-gamers. However, girls LOVE to chat. You may have luck hooking her into your buddies via IRC. She's somewhat "involved" with what you're doing, lessening the problem, yet, she's not gaming.
EXCUSES
-------
* Anytime she wakes up and says "why are you playing that again", three magical words: I COULDN'T SLEEP.
* Seeing a doctor to help keep up the insomnia charade is quite effective.
* My friend called before you arrived/woke up and asked me to help him with something really fast. It'll just be a few minutes.
* "A few minutes always turns into an hour on the computer babe!"
* "I just logged into to check something real quick, and my buddy desparately needed my help. I can't let him down! It'll just be a few minutes."
All of this stuff should get you an average of 3 hours of gaming per day. If you need more than that, you need to dump the girl.
# Erik
AMEN!!!
Of course, when I tried to explain that calling Japan for 6 hours was more expensive than me gaming, I got the "What's your point" look.
Oh, and I cannot disturb her during that 6 hour conversation. Cannot! Under any circumstances.
However, when she is done, it does not matter that I am in the middle of a battlefield running from a cunning sniper trying to find a medic. Oh no! I am to disconnect immediately!
This is why netcafes are a godsend.
"Piter, too, is dead."
Your balls called... they said when you're ready to play CS again they'll be waiting.
"The truth suffers from too much analysis"
Cut back on the gaming. One of the reasons I recently left my SO was because of her non-stop LARP'ing. (Oh, and the LARP'ers she fucked, off course.)
Anyways, don't patronize the SO with Zoo Tycoon. From my experience, girls are not all for that cutsey-wutsey stuff we think they are. They like to smash baddies and monsters with a giant sword just like the rest of us. And also, they like the social aspects of such games. So my advice is: cut back on gaming before she blows your non-gaming buddy, and test her on EQ, DAoC and the like...
(Hey, YOU asked...)
My buddy got two things last week: a new baby and a copy of City of Heroes.
His wife is a little worried about this...but I don't think she needs to be. He's not the most repsonsible guy on the planet, but he's pretty good too. We went out to buy a new video card, he remembered to get the enfamil and pampers as well. When the baby wakes him up at night, he logs in and plays for a while, rocking it to sleep. He's also learned how to play while distracted.
Of course, the women folk are completely unimpressed by his multitasking. Apparently, it's reckless to hold a baby whilst fighting a horde of minions, but it's okay to hold a baby while ironing or boiling sausages. I don't get it myself, but then again my dad was a gamer. He beat Zelda before I did.
Hey freaks: now you're ju
"my Necromancer leveled !twice! tonight"
:)
Is that some kind of sexual metaphor?
youre mom called, you have to be home early tonight to clean up the basement
use your turn signal! you people act like it's divulging information to the enemy
Try introducing her as your FIRST wife and see the look she gives you.
Other then the two obvious solutions (quit playing or dump the significant other)
The 3rd obvious solution, is to get your GF into the game also.
I'm wondering how other people have deal with it?
Or, you could just "treat her mean, to keep her keen"... like, "If ya don't like it bitch, just fucken leave me, aight?".
(She won't leave, you will however get a slightly tearful blowjob).
I use sex to make the girlfriend to sleep. ;-)
Then I can play all night long
yes, it was beautiful sunny day in March. Lazy afternoon on Sunday, she gazed over and denied me of some good loving. ...
....
She got up, walked over to her desk to her new P4 3.2 Ghz machine and started
FINAL FANTASY Online
OH WHY WHY WHY!!! It's been 2 months and hell putting up with her 5 AM indulgence to play that stupid ass game all night!!!
WHY ME, LORD! WHY!
We went our seperate ways after I've unplugged the DSL line right out of the wall... I've heard she's still playing that good for nothing game... FINAL FANTASY!!! YOU SHALL PAY~!!!
"Don't let fools fool you. They are the clever ones."
I gave cunnilingus to one of my Gf's friends. My GF didn't seem to like it too much.
"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
-Lucas
Indeed, the other day I got flamed by a vicious 133t gal named Hunter.
Her only comment was "Ha HAH!" as she grav-boarded into the distance...
I shall seek her out again.
SB
It's old. The more humans I meet, the more I like my cats. At least they are honest.
Best of all, it gives me another use for the ;p emoticon. ;)
:-D~>-8(-: emoticon...
Bah, that's the
SB
It's old. The more humans I meet, the more I like my cats. At least they are honest.
You do whatever you want, whenever you want, and if he/she doesn't like it, tough, you'll do what you want anyway. Report back later and tell us how it goes.
:) Given his attitude, I'm willing to take bets.
Assuming he survives
SB
It's old. The more humans I meet, the more I like my cats. At least they are honest.
"Some of us play the same games boys do."
Thereby robbing us of our last shred of masculinity. If you take away our video arcades and our comic books stores, what do we have left? I mean, come on! Don't you women mock us enough as it is? Is it not enough to break our wills and rob us of anything vaguely resembling dignity by simply having two X chromosones? Has it gotten so boring for you that you now feel the need to make our lives miserable by beating us at our own games? Are you not intimidating enough as it is?
Once upon a time we had our sacntuaries! We could stride confidently (or the closest to a "stride" as we geeks could muster) into a gaming store and know that there wouldn't be anybody within ten kilometers that would make us feel like stuttering morons! It didn't matter that we were still stuttering morons without you around to remind us, becuase we could still stutter moronicly about each other about the evils of Pudding Workshop or discussing our favorite kinds of dice! Heck, it was about the only situation where we could make you as scared of us as we are of you; in small numbers we're amusing oddities, fun to torment and watch squirm, but when we collect together in a basement somewhere we were downright creepy!
But now we have women like you, by far the worst example of the species! You know it's all a front and you enjoy exposing us! I've seen your kind! You go to conventions and get a kick out of the way how, no matter how crowded the place is, there is never anybody within ten feet of you! Heck, how much longer will it be before you and a few of your friends use your natural anti-geek fields to herd us all into a corner and having those conventions all to yourselves?
We geeks have tried to let you have what you want with the hopes that you'll at least leave us with something we could call our own! We've sacrified so much in the interest of trying to coexist peacefully with you (just so long as you do your existing way over there somewhere)! Well, it's time for us to band together, take the stand we were never able to take in gym class and finally say No more!
You've taken my internet! You've taken my anime! You've robbed me of almost every reason I ever had to continue living! You've probably even stolen my soul somewhere along the line! By God, woman, you are not going to take my video games!
Of course, I hope by my saying this to you I haven't... well... you know... ruined my chances with... well... um... I hope I haven't come off too...
Soul-stealer!
2) Try to make sure that you're not losing time - telling someone you'll be home (or will meet them, pick them up, etc.) "in an hour" and coming home three hours later is being an ass no matter what you were doing. I used to be terrible about that.
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- OH FUCK ME
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- I FORGOT TO PICK UP MY 7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER FROM SOCCER PRACTICE
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- 9 HOURS AGO
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- HOLY SHIT
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- BYE
-- bash.org
actually i've found that you can read/program/game while your sigfig is on the fone with you, and STILL manage to do both well... just keep going uh-huh.. and keep an ear out for certain key words ("pregnant" is a major one) and just let it buzz past you. practice and you'll actually manage to get to the point where you can game and carry on a "significant" (at least to her it will be) convo with her at the same time.
Suchetha
learn from yesterday, plan for tomorrow, party tonight
or one out of three ain't bad
> you've still got a few advantages: you can pee standing up for example.
And yet...
http://www.restrooms.org/standing.html