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Star Wars TV Show

Posted by samzenpus on from the even-more-star-wars dept.

The lunatick writes "IESB and Theforce.net report a Star Wars TV show. Lucas will not direct it just produce it. Kevin Smith (Silent Bob, the clerks series) is named as a possible director."

98 of 426 comments (clear)

  1. incorporate zahn's books by ShakuniMama · · Score: 4, Insightful

    hmm... maybe they'll be smart and incorporate some of the excellent books written by timothy zahn as screenplays.

    1. Re:incorporate zahn's books by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Or Paula Zahn, for that matter...

    2. Re:incorporate zahn's books by Eeknay · · Score: 2, Informative

      Actually, it wasn't a plant, it was an animal called a Ysalmari (sp) that created an anti-Force bubble that was hardly big at all. The problem was when large amounts of Ysalmari were grouped together, then their collective bubbles formed a giantic anti-Force area.

      Some Star Wars fanboy you were.

    3. Re:incorporate zahn's books by Zocalo · · Score: 4, Insightful
      Possible premises:
      • The Old Republic - Plenty of scope here for what things were like "before the dark times", but will probably become a "Jedi of the week" show soon enough
      • The Clone Wars - kind of covered in the animated series though
      • Young Luke Skywalker. Cute^H^H^H^H Irritating kids, races though Begger's Canyon and shooting womp rats...
      • What ever Lucas has in mind for VII-IX this week. Probably closest to your option, and the one I'd like to see; could even keep the extended universe stuff intact with a little effort.
        • Face it though, this is the person who brought us Jar-Jar Binks - it's going to be a rehash of Young Indy, isn't it?
      --
      UNIX? They're not even circumcised! Savages!
    4. Re:incorporate zahn's books by TykeClone · · Score: 3, Interesting
      Their best bet would be the Old Republic or the Clone Wars - anything that wouldn't regularly overlap on the movies. I think that fans would have a better time accepting a show that has a similar timeline to the movies, but doesn't feature any of the major characters from the movie.

      Might be interesting to see the Old Republic from the perspective of a different Jedi (one of the others from the movies - not one of the main ones) where you can also have some of the main Jedi showing up from time to time.

      --
      A fine is a tax you pay for doing wrong and a tax is a fine you pay for doing all right.
    5. Re:incorporate zahn's books by Ralph+Wiggam · · Score: 4, Funny

      The fact that the Zahn books exist make me so much madder about the new SW movies. There would have made excellent sequels. In episodes 4/5/6 the rebels fight the Empire and win. The books take place soon after that and involve the former rebels setting up a new government and defending against remnants of the Empire. Lando blew up the Death Star, but there are still a whole fleet of star destroyers out there. There's a very cool parallel involving Luke's growth from a kid with a disco haircut to Jedi master and the rebellion's growth from ragtag fighters to a galactic government.

      I have a bad feeeling that Lucas is going to leave instructions in his will that nobody can make any more SW movies.

      About the TV show: I imagine Kevin Smith sitting in a meeting going "I'll pay you a million dollars if you let me direct the show...no two million!"

      -B

    6. Re:incorporate zahn's books by orin · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I see this comment all the time. Tim Zahn's books would not make great movies. I really want you to think about these books for a moment.

      What REALLY GREAT scenes are there in the books? The Katana fleet battle doesn't compare to any space battle in the Star Wars movies.

      The great ending of the books - Luke versus Clone Luuke? That wouldn't make a really good bit of cinema either.

      Face it - none of the characters really grow in the Zahn books. Luke is pretty much the same at the start as he is at the end. The same as Han and Leia. There are few grand scenes and few things that I read and thought "wow - I wish I could see that on the big screen". The whole Mara and Luke wandering through the forest scene - wow that would drag on for ever!

      Also - in Zahn's books the clone wars were Jedis being cloned and going nuts rather than the pre-cursors to the Stormtroopers.

      Zahn's books are good as books. They wouldn't work as movies. Although I wasn't a great fan of the Dark Empire stuff - that at least would work better as a series of movies or a TV series - the idea of Luke falling to the Dark Side and being redeemed by Leia is far more in line with what is in the movies in terms of being epic.

    7. Re:incorporate zahn's books by McNally · · Score: 3, Funny
      Don't forget:
      • Law and Order: Jedi Investigations Unit
    8. Re:incorporate zahn's books by DrXym · · Score: 2, Insightful
      Face it though, this is the person who brought us Jar-Jar Binks - it's going to be a rehash of Young Indy, isn't it?


      Young Indiana Jones was fairly good TV - up to a point. What made it so ludicrous by the end of it all was how many 'famous people' were crammed into every episode and the consequent contrivances that had Indy leaping from war to war, continent to continent to fit them all in. If he wasn't meeting Charles De Gaulle it was Ho Chi Minh or Pancho Villa or someone else.


      And that's the issue that Star Wars faces. One guest appearance is a pleasant 'twist'. A whole series of them and brings the whole lot crashing down.


      We can already see the way it has gone in the so-far shitty prequels. The inclusion of R2D2 & C3PO and other 'famous' characters from the later stories leads to one stupid contrivance after another. For example, we're supposed to believe that Darth Vader *built* C3PO as child, that this robot C3PO travels the entire galaxy, and 20 odd years later while being pursued jettisons over Tattooine and ends up being bought by his son! How more fucking ridiculous can you get?

    9. Re:incorporate zahn's books by nosaj72 · · Score: 3, Funny
      or CSI:Mos Eisley.

      They can figure out who really shot first!

    10. Re:incorporate zahn's books by CrashPoint · · Score: 2, Interesting
      Re: "Face it - none of the characters really grow in the Zahn books. Luke is pretty much the same at the start as he is at the end. The same as Han and Leia."

      Yes and no. The preexisting characters (Luke, Han, Leia, etc) don't grow all that much over the course of the books. Some, but not a lot.

      Zahn's own characters are another matter entirely. Mara Jade, Talon Kardde, Joruus C'Baoth- all of them grow immensely as characters throughout the series.

      Re: "Also - in Zahn's books the clone wars were Jedis being cloned and going nuts rather than the pre-cursors to the Stormtroopers."

      No, the clones were not Jedi. I think you were a bit confused by the explanation. Zahn's reasoning for the clones' insanity is that genetically identical beings create some kind of resonance in the Force that slowly drives them insane. The clones didn't have to be Jedi or other Force-sensitive types to be affected this way, or else Thrawn wouldn't have needed ysalimiri in the cloning chambers to clone soldiers and pilots. Good fucking Christ, I am such a geek.

      These points aside, I do agree that the Thrawn series would not work as a third movie trilogy. The pacing is completely different from what's appropriate for a two-hour film, for starters. Furthermore, the plot is much more complicated, and couldn't be sufficiently simplified without gutting many great subplots and axing a lot of characters. Aves and Niles Ferrier would likely end up sharing an unmarked grave with Tom Bombadil.

      You could make a pretty good miniseries out of the Thrawn books, were it not for two things:

      1. The original actors are far too old (or too dead) and probably wouldn't want to reprise these roles anyway.

      2. Few Star Wars fans would accept any replacements no matter how good they might be. Even if they did a better job than the original actors, they'd be vilified for having the nerve, the sheer audacity not to be the original actors. And how many actors would want to face the liklihood of being labeled "not as good as Mark Hamill"?

    11. Re:incorporate zahn's books by orin · · Score: 2, Interesting

      IIRC the explanation for the dark place on Dagobah was a cloned Jedi that had gone nuts. Given that the stormtroopers are themselves clones, it seemed kind of odd that Thrawn would need all that force damnpning gear to make his own set of clones - given that he already had lots of clones in his storm trooper legions. Perhaps something happened to the Kaminoans - though given the Empire's rather substantial supply of Stormtroopers up until Endor, there doesn't seem to be any suggestion anywhere in the books that the supply of clones suddenly dried up.

      The clones thing is an area where it becomes difficult to reconcile the Zahn books with the prequels.

      Although I agree that Mara somewhat developed (at least she dealt with her impulse to kill Luke), I didn't feel that Kaarde was much more than a two dimensional character. I'm also not sure about Joruus - he just kinda seemed nuts the whole time.

      I disagree about the mini-series being a good idea. The X-Wing books might work that way - but I really felt that Dark Force Rising and The Last Command weren't nearly as strong as Heir to the Empire. All the cool stuff happens in the first book - the second and third never seem to catch up. The later Hand of Thrawn books are better - but I think that the person who writes the "most Star Warsy" books of that type is Stackpole. Shatterpoint - with Mace Windu - would make a good film as well.

      But I'm amused that whenever a Star Wars thread pops up on Slashdot, someone responds "they should make the Zahn books". I think that most people tha tmake this comment really don't remember what was in the Zahn books other than that they enjoyed them when they came out in the early 1990's before the Prequels were announced.

  2. Lucas is not involved by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Lucas is not involved - YAhoo!!!

  3. Clerks Animated by SpooForBrains · · Score: 2, Insightful

    The brain behind the excellent Clerks Animated helming Star Wars? Now *that* I'd pay money for!

    --
    "The dew has clearly fallen with a particularly sickening thud this morning"
  4. bad Idea by pyro101 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Kevin would have to be a moron to do it. No matter how good the tv series is it will be slammed as not as good as the original. Expecially if you expect 3-5 seasons worth of good stuff. There is no pleasing the star wars fans.

    1. Re:bad Idea by FuzzzyLogik · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Sorry, not all of us think the movies were that good. In fact, I welcome Kevin's rendition on this because I found most of the new star wars material to be boring and "pretty." The old movies were ok... granted I can't even tell you what happened in each movie, but if it's directed by kevin smith i'll watch it because i love his other work and at least give this a chance. Lucas sucks as a director, sorry. I don't give a rip if han or luke shot first or whatever. I don't care, where's the story in the first 2 episodes? 4-6 actually had a story, but the new ones don't, at least i'm not piecing it together real well. I'm sorry if i offend any of you guys, i just don't like star wars that much, but an animated/live action tv series might work if someone new tries something new. It's not for lack of liking the universe created, but the dialog lucas put together sucks and doesn't sound natural.. this is where kevin smith really shines.. his movies are all about dialog. he's great at that.

      --
      Kyle
      http://www.unlogikal.net/
    2. Re:bad Idea by Jeremiah+Cornelius · · Score: 3, Funny

      I hope it's as good as the old Holiday Special!

      --
      "Flyin' in just a sweet place,
      Never been known to fail..."
    3. Re:bad Idea by N8F8 · · Score: 2, Funny

      You mean the Ewok shows or the Christmas special?

      --
      "God fights on the side with the best artillery." - Napoleon, Marshal of France - speaking truth to power
    4. Re:bad Idea by Gooba42 · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Smith himself has said he wouldn't touch the Star Wars franchise with a ten foot pole. After seeing the uproar over Episode 1 & 2 he refuses to be accused of "raping someone's childhood".

      --
      I just found out there's no such thing as the real world. It's just a lie you've got to rise above. - John Mayer
    5. Re:bad Idea by nine-times · · Score: 2, Informative
      Kevin would have to be a moron to do it. No matter how good the tv series is it will be slammed as not as good as the original. Expecially if you expect 3-5 seasons worth of good stuff. There is no pleasing the star wars fans.

      In case you don't know, TV series are never directed by a single director. They hire a director with a lot of style to do the pilot, and he sets the tone for the rest of the series. Following that, there might be some directors that direct a lot of episodes, and by a lot, I mean a couple per season. But each episode has a different director.

      So, first of all, I'm not sure what the original posting meant by 'Kevin Smith...is named as a possible director,' except that he may direct an episode or two, which really wouldn't be that big a deal.

    6. Re:bad Idea by tolan-b · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yeah but tell me Silent Bob wouldn't make a kick arse sith lord..

  5. My opinion by networkBoy · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Bad idea. You want to run a franchise into the ground this is the way to do it.

    I'd think Star Trek would have demonstrated that already...
    -nB

    --
    whois gawk date unzip strip find touch finger mount join nice man top fsck grep eject more yes exit umount sleep dump
    1. Re:My opinion by gl4ss · · Score: 2, Insightful

      hehheh.. but the thing that is.. somebody other than lucas is doing it so it might not be _that_ bad.

      it's already in ground. ep1 and ep2 make good kids flicks.. but had they been the first films in the series to be made would it be so huge? i doubt not.

      --
      world was created 5 seconds before this post as it is.
    2. Re:My opinion by bob+beta · · Score: 5, Funny

      You're right. If Star Trek hadn't made the mistake of making a TV Show, all the paperbacks and Souvineer LPs and stuff would have been far more successful.

      --
      "What's the frequency Kenneth?"
    3. Re:My opinion by sloshr · · Score: 3, Funny

      Wait... you're saying it can still dig a deeper hole than Episode I? Now that's scary...

    4. Re:My opinion by erik_fredricks · · Score: 2, Insightful
      Bad idea. You want to run a franchise into the ground this is the way to do it.

      No, the way you run a franchise into the ground is to release a theatrical series of "prequels," which systematically betray and murder the mythology you spent the better part of a decade building. It also helps to utilize an alien that talks like Buckwheat and a younger, whiny version of your most classic villain.

      --

      THE GOOD HUMOR MAN CAN ONLY BE PUSHED SO FAR
      Bart Simpson on chalkboard in episode 2F18

    5. Re:My opinion by Maserati · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Useful tip:

      When watching Ep. II, skip the "frolicking" scene entirely; the rest of the movie improves remarkably with that simple omission - yes, even the rest of the Anakin-Amidala scenes. What that one scene did to the pacing of the film should cost Lucas the most prestigious of the awards he's ever won, even just a high school debate trophy.

      --
      Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1992-1951
  6. Um by Minwee · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is there anything that Kevin Smith has not been named as a possible director for? I'm still waiting for his Green Lantern movie.

    1. Re:Um by heptapod · · Score: 2, Funny

      Don't you mean Green Arrow? So many verdant superheroes nowadays.

  7. Kevin Smith, eh? by fiannaFailMan · · Score: 5, Funny
    Kevin Smith (Silent Bob, the clerks series) is named as a possible director.
    I can see it now.

    Darth: "No Luke, I am your father!"

    Luke: "You're my dad? Oh boy, and you know what the worst thing is?"

    Darth: "What, my son?"

    Luke: "I'm not even supposed to be here today!"

    --
    Drill baby drill - on Mars
    1. Re:Kevin Smith, eh? by fiannaFailMan · · Score: 4, Funny
      Yet that already reads better than the dialogue in the prequels.
      The dialogue in the original trilogy wasn't much better.

      "Ah! Governor Tarkin! I should have expected to find you holding Vader's leash. I thought I recognised your foul stench when I came on board!"

      "I've got a bad feeling about this!"

      "Laser brain!"

      "Lap it up Fuzzball!"

      But then it was a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, so maybe that was how people did talk back then.

      The 'far away galaxy' thing was a good fudge, explains how they managed to develop all this technology to traverse a galaxy in a few hours but didn't figure out how to fire weapons that locked on target. (Hang on, they did, Jango Fett had one. But how come they couldn't do it years later... )

      --
      Drill baby drill - on Mars
    2. Re:Kevin Smith, eh? by gamgee5273 · · Score: 4, Interesting
      Ummm... it's "Laugh it up, Fuzzball."

      You should watch Ken Burns's documentary in the new DVD set. Carrie Fisher says that they used to tell Lucas that you can write lines like the "stench" one and people accept it on the page, but not when actors say it...

    3. Re:Kevin Smith, eh? by mikeophile · · Score: 3, Funny
      I believe the porn movie Star Whores had the line, "Lap it up, Fuzzball."

      It's an easy mistake to make.

      /should have posted AC

    4. Re:Kevin Smith, eh? by bckrispi · · Score: 4, Funny
      Actually, Carrie is paraphrasing a complaint that Harrison Ford would make:

      Jesus George. You can read this shit, but you can't say it!

      --
      Xenon, where's my money? -Borno
    5. Re:Kevin Smith, eh? by real_smiff · · Score: 2, Informative
      The quote is so famous that there are several versions of it going around, but i believe the usual one given (and funnier) is:

      You can write this shit, George, but you sure can't say it.

      Also fits the Han Solo character quite well ;)

      --

      This is my Sig, this is my Gun. One is for Slashdot and one is for Fun.

    6. Re:Kevin Smith, eh? by fiannaFailMan · · Score: 2, Interesting

      IAAW (I Am A Writer) and I can tell you that the golden rule of dialogue in literature is to make it believable. A different set of rules applies to movies, movie characters talk in a certain way. Close your eyes and listen to the dialogue sometime, then ask yourself who actually talks like that. Who actually says things just for the purpose of explaining or revealing something to a watching audience? Nevertheless, some of the script in the original trilogy was truly dire, and the point I'm making is that people conveniently forget this (because of nostalgia) when slating the new trilogy as being inferior to the original one.

      --
      Drill baby drill - on Mars
  8. OMG! by xenostar · · Score: 4, Funny

    Does that mean it will have Mark Hamill as Cock-Knocker?

    1. Re:OMG! by Dynedain · · Score: 2, Funny

      "George Lucas is gonna sue!!!" - Chris Rock ...oh...wait...

      --
      I'm out of my mind right now, but feel free to leave a message.....
  9. Uh oh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I have a bad feeling about this.

  10. Hear that sound? by anzha · · Score: 2, Interesting

    That, folks, is someone milking it for all its worth.

    Lucas has always done that, but gaaaaaah...New. Levels. Of. Yanking. That. Teet.

    Oh well, I guess I just pity the poor cow...

    --
    Do you know why the road less traveled by is littered with the bones of the unwary?
    1. Re:Hear that sound? by El · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Oh well, I guess I just pity the poor cow... The problem is, we are the cow!

      --

      "Freedom means freedom for everybody" -- Dick Cheney

    2. Re:Hear that sound? by builderbob_nz · · Score: 5, Funny

      New. Levels. Of. Yanking. That. Teet.

      Oh no, please don't tell me that William Shatner is going to be in it... [runs away screaming]

      --

      Karma? Hey I just call it as I see it.
  11. Is this real? by lothar97 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I checked USA Today, Google News, and Yahoo News, and was not able to find the actual story in USA Today. Doesn't USA Today put everything on the web? Shouldn't a rumor like this be substantiated a little bit more?

    --

    1. Re:Is this real? by ari_j · · Score: 2, Informative

      Maybe because it's an old dupe, Luke!

  12. Why not!?! by Moby+Cock · · Score: 2, Insightful

    It seems the Beflanneled One is intent on ensuring complete media saturation in perpetuity for the SW universe.

    All things considered, this show could be pretty cool, but it likely won't be. The prequels have fallen short and I find it difficult to imagine fresh material coming out often enough for a TV show. A mini-series would be perhaps more appropriate.

    I gotta say, everytime I see another part of Star Wars being sold out, a little part of me dies.

    1. Re:Why not!?! by Tom+Dunne · · Score: 2, Funny

      "I gotta say, everytime I see another part of Star Wars being sold out, a little part of me dies."

      Cool. A few years of a television series and you'll be dead. One less 'George Lucas raped my childhood' Slashdot poster is fine with me :D

  13. Bah. by Telastyn · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Star wars seems as though it is ill-suited for TV status. Giant space operas don't mix with 1 hour [plus commercial] slots.

    Hell, I'd rather see the afore mentioned Spaceballs sequel made into a TV series.

    1. Re:Bah. by DrDoombender · · Score: 4, Interesting

      I'd have to dissagree with that. As far as I'm concerned Babylon 5 was a giant space soap opera. If you look at it from beginning to end, there is a giant purpose to how JMS wrote it. In fact, there was even hints that how the story turned out was not his true vision. That Sinclair was supposed to be the only "the one". In any case, babylon 5 is a giant soap opera, and it worked in a 1 hour time slot. Star Wars can do the same, it will all come down to the writers, and pray they aren't like the Star Trek writers.

    2. Re:Bah. by bckrispi · · Score: 3, Interesting
      On the contrary, Lucas' original inspiration for SW, and later Indiana Jones were the Saturday afternoon serials he grew up with. A well done SW TV series could harken back to the classic sci-fi/western/adventure cliffhangers of the 50's. With all the pointless "reality TV" shit that the media demogaugs are cramming down our throat, having some escapist adventure once a week would be a fine alternative.

      Can he pull it off? Absolutely. Whine about GL all you want; you can not deny the fact that he and the team he personally assembled single handedly changed movies and fimmaking forever. THX, Pixar, ILM - all creations of the flannelled one. If he surrounds himself with the right talent, and maintains a level of quality control, it could be quite successful, and we can avoid a redux of the Holiday Special.

      Star Wars is ubiquitous to every single form of media except television. It only seems to be the next logical step after the prequels are finished. What Lucas needs to keep in mind is when to let it go. The idea is to stop when you see the shark you're about to jump.

      --
      Xenon, where's my money? -Borno
    3. Re:Bah. by bar-agent · · Score: 5, Interesting

      I think the best way to do a Star Wars TV show would be to do it as a combination of the old serials and short stories.

      The writers should be telling several stories. Each episode would cover a segment of one story. They might do one or two episodes of one story in a row, then switch over to another story for the next episode.

      Maybe they could follow an agent of the Imperial Scouting Service as they explore a new hyperspace route, or a couple of Corporate Sector Authority investigators checking out an industrial espionage situation. Maybe we could see the Black Sun organization, or do a couple of episodes on a Stormtrooper squad, like Troops.

      With this format, the show wouldn't be tied to any particular era. They could mix up genres. It certainly wouldn't get boring. There would be unlimited room for growth.

      As the series matures, maybe a couple of the storylines could touch each other. Perhaps the industrial espionage operation being investigated by the CSA is the same operation we see getting set up in the Black Sun story.

      I tell you, this idea is brilliant! Brilliant, I say!

      Now I just need to know who to send it to...

      --
      i'd hit it so hard, if you pulled me out you'd be the king of britain [bash.org]
  14. I'm waiting for Quentin Tarantino's Star Wars... by Senjutsu · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Do you see a sign on my lawn that says 'Dead Wookie Storage'??"

  15. SG1.. by Manip · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Before everyone suggests this is a bad move I just want to say look at SG1. The original movie was at best 'ok' but thanks to the series the brand is highly valued.

    1. Re:SG1.. by Zebbers · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Ok, you debuffed your own argument.
      The movie was so-so, so it was easier for the tv show to be better.

      It would be hard to do a SW series on par or better than the movie- or at atleast the percieved quality of the movie.

    2. Re:SG1.. by Webmonger · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Yeah. Hardly any one liked the Buffy movie, but the TV show has its fans...

      But the TV show was better because its creator had more control. Lucas needs less control, if anything.

    3. Re:SG1.. by No+Such+Agency · · Score: 2, Interesting

      The movie was so-so, so it was easier for the tv show to be better.

      While the TV show is better, it did have a lot more time to explore characters and themes than the original feature film. "Stargate" is definitely not a Great Movie, but it's visually innovative, has decent enough writing and no cringey eye-rolling moments (though I'd edit out a few of the scenes with Kurt Russell and the kids, just to keep it well on the safe side of the cheese threshold). I've watched it several times and it's still *fun*.

      --
      Freedom: "I won't!"
    4. Re:SG1.. by mdfst13 · · Score: 2, Funny

      No, no.

      There can be only one Highlander film.

      There can be only one ...

      After all, there's only one Queen soundtrack.

  16. Building the Death Star (from Clerks) by ChangeOnInstall · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sorry, can't resist, I just have to post it :)
    (taken from http://www.whysanity.net/monos/clerks5.html)

    Building the Death Star
    written by Kevin Smith

    Randal: So they build another Death Star, right?
    Dante: Yeah.
    Randal: Now the first one they built was completed and fully operational before the Rebels destroyed it.
    Dante: Luke blew it up. Give credit where it's due.
    Randal:And the second one was still being built when they blew it up.
    Dante: Compliments of Lando Calrissian.
    Randal: Something just never sat right with me the second time they destroyed it. I could never put my finger on it-something just wasn't right.
    Dante: And you figured it out?
    Randal: Well, the thing is, the first Death Star was manned by the Imperial army-storm troopers, dignitaries- the only people onboard were Imperials.
    Dante: Basically.
    Randal: So when they blew it up, no prob. Evil is punished.
    Dante: And the second time around...?
    Randal: The second time around, it wasn't even finished yet. They were still under construction.
    Dante: So?
    Randal: A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.
    Dante: Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at.
    Randal: Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.
    Dante: All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction?
    Randal: All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed- casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. (notices Dante's confusion) All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia-this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living.
    (The Blue-Collar Man (Thomas Burke) joins them.)
    Blue-Collar Man: Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt, but what were you talking about?
    Randal: The ending of Return of the Jedi.
    Dante: My friend is trying to convince me that any contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when the space station was destroyed by the rebels.
    Blue-Collar Man: Well, I'm a contractor myself. I'm a roofer... (digs into pocket and produces business card) Dunn and Reddy Home Improvements. And speaking as a roofer, I can say that a roofer's personal politics come heavily into play when choosing jobs.
    Randal: Like when?
    Blue-Collar Man: Three months ago I was offered a job up in the hills. A beautiful house with tons of property. It was a simple reshingling job, but I was told that if it was finished within a day, my price would be doubled. Then I realized whose house it was.
    Dante: Whose house was it?
    Blue-Collar Man: Dominick Bambino's.
    Randal: "Babyface" Bambino? The gangster?
    Blue-Collar Man: The same. The money was right, but the risk was too big. I knew who he was, and based on that, I passed the job on to a friend of mine.
    Dante: Based on personal politics.
    Blue-Collar Man: Right. And that week, the Foresci family put a hit on Babyface's house. My friend was shot and killed. He wasn't even finished shingling.
    Rand

    --
    What has *science* done?!? -- Dr. Weird (ATHF)
    1. Re:Building the Death Star (from Clerks) by spiralscratch · · Score: 2, Funny

      Did he just say "making fuck"?

  17. Lucas by nbert · · Score: 5, Funny
    Lucas will not direct it just produce it.


    I guess that's the good part of the story
    --
    I don't read replies by ACs.
  18. Troops by RotJ · · Score: 2, Interesting

    There's already been a pilot for a Star Wars spinoff show that has gotten favorable reactions. They should consider turning it into a series.

  19. A great Disturbance in the Force... by SparksMcGee · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...As if the voices of a million Star Wars fans suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced...

  20. This could be good... by lawpoop · · Score: 4, Interesting
    If they steer away from the Save the Universe Big Deal stuff, and get into the nitty-gritty underworld of an entire galaxy. I enjoyed the Han Solo trilogy because they were something of a noir detective series -- a smuggler struggling to make it with only his wits. And Kevin Smith has already shown that he's concerned with some of the details of the SW universe (contractors on the Death Star). This might work out.

    Just show more Mos Eisleys, Death Stick Dealers, smugglers in crappy starships, malfunctioning droids, bounty hunters, weird aliens...

    --
    Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
    -- Pablo Picasso
    1. Re:This could be good... by BenjyD · · Score: 3, Insightful

      But wasn't that the strength of the first trilogy (eps 4-6)? Because it started off half way through the story, with the saving the universe bit, it drew the audience into the world. They wanted to find out what was going on in this world the films so suddenly started off in.

      The prequel trilogy was doomed to fail because the story they tell isn't that interesting really, it's only interesting as a backdrop to episodes 4-6. All you really need to know about the story line of episodes 1-3 is summarised in about ten minutes in episodes 4-6.

      The movies make a big point of having little bits of the background world intrude into the films to create an interesting universe - the rubbish collecting gnome creatures in episode 4, all the aliens living their lives in the background. But, just like episodes 1-2(+3 probably), if you concentrate too much on that background, you realise it's not as interesting as it appeared from a distance.

      It's the same with Lord of the Rings. There's a huge backstory to the trilogy, but by starting the main story (Frodo and the Fellowship etc.) in the middle of that, you create a whole interesting world the reader wants to read about without having to bother with laboriously explaining it.

    2. Re:This could be good... by dancingmad · · Score: 4, Interesting

      That was the good thing about the X-Wing/TIE Fighter/XW Alliance PC games. For the most part, especially in the X-Wing games and the first campaigns in TIE Fighter you were a grunt, just another fighter pilot. You got a soldier's eye view of the Rebellion (from both sides) and it was interesting. Far more interesting than the bullshit prequel movies. You weren't saving the world, just doing your job in this universe and that was engaging and entertaing.

      I'd love to see some intelligent show that went along the same lines as that. I read those Han Solo books too, way back in the day, and I agree; you saw the "universe," people's lives, not just the world changing events.

      --
      "There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter," Jeeves, (Jeeves and the Impending Doom)
  21. Re:Ner..d? by Pantero+Blanco · · Score: 3, Funny

    A .nerd tld might be amusing...Perhaps I'll go email the OSRC.

  22. Works better 5000 years before ANH by scoser · · Score: 5, Interesting

    In my opinion, a Star Wars TV series would work best with the timeline about 5000 years before the Battle of Yavin, which is around the time of action of Knights of the Old Republic. You've got the Sith Wars, the Mandalorian War, and the conflict with Exar Kun going on about that time, and there's a good amount of Jedi and Sith to do battle and tons of interesting worlds as well. With this we could avoid the same old "Empire vs. Rebels/Republic vs. Separatist" nonsense.

  23. Who clicks the remote first? by Ianing · · Score: 5, Funny

    Who is gonna change channel first? Me or Greedo?

  24. Re:Big Deal by Tom+Dunne · · Score: 2, Insightful

    So I don't *really* like Clerks, I just think I like Clerks because the mass media has told me to? Bah. You're just telling me that becaue that's what the cynical counter-culture has forced you to reply with

  25. theforce.net? by JakiChan · · Score: 4, Informative

    They had it on their front page yesterday but pulled it or something and I can find no reference to the story today. They are tied very closely to Lucasfilm so it makes me wonder...

    --
    "Where quality is like a dead stinking rat - you just can't miss it."
  26. Star Wars Via Lens of Star Trek by reporter · · Score: 3, Insightful
    Television is inherently inferior to the big screen. The plot of Star Wars (Chapter IV) is full of depth, and gems of this nature simply cannot be pumped out week after week.

    The weekly treadmill is precisely what television is.

    For further insight, consider "Star Trek V". It was the only movie (based on the original characters) to lose money. However, when "Star Trek V" was broadcast on television, the movie seemed okay, compared to the junk food on the other channels.

    The only conceivable way for Star Wars on the boob tube to not deteriorate to the level of Star Trek is to develop plots requiring at least 3 episodes to tell. In other words, across a 21-week viewing season, Star Wars, the boob tube show, would essentially be aired as 7 movies, each movie being 3 hours in length.

    For fate's sake, please try to get good actors and actresses.

  27. Re: sig (OT) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Informative

    _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
    We smoke when we shoot the bird. -- An anonymous mooninite.

    For future reference, you may like to know that the little pink mooninite you quoted is called Irr and the larger green one is called Ignignokt.

  28. Luke and Silent Solo by sfjoe · · Score: 4, Funny

    Luke: Don't you never say an unkind word about the Time. Me and Silent Solo modeled our whole fucking lives around Morris Day and Jerome. I'm a smooth pimp who loves the pussy. And Tubby here is my black man servant. What.

    [Silent Solo nods vigorously]

    --
    It's simple: I demand prosecution for torture.
  29. Use it to replace 7,8, and 9... by Shivetya · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I could put up with a couple of years if they use it to somehow cover what could have happened in 7-9.

    After all the celebrations at the end of the 6th movie are kind of silly, its not like the Empire evaporated with their Emperor. There would be many years of putting the whole back together.

    Now, how to make a movie out of that I don't know. I do not think fans would stand for Luke, Leia, or even Han being transformed into bad guys.

    Attempting to fill in gaps between the movies would not make a great story because everyone knows how it came out. The best comparison is Enterprise. Every Trekkie knows how the universe played out, hence a lot of them hate Enterprise for changing that!

    We need good science fantasy/fiction on the TV. Who is to say that Star Wars cannot do that? At least give it a shot. Even Lucas is better than Beavis and Butthead over at Star Trek.

    --
    * Winners compare their achievements to their goals, losers compare theirs to that of others.
    1. Re:Use it to replace 7,8, and 9... by Zcipher · · Score: 3, Funny

      The best comparison is Enterprise. Every Trekkie knows how the universe played out, hence a lot of them hate Enterprise for changing that!

      Funny you should mention Berman. From TFA:

      Berman: When asked if he had any other advice for George, "He can always hire me if Enterprise doesn't work out".

      I think I speak for everyone with a geeky bone in his body when I say . . .

      Nooooooooooooo!

      Or, perhaps more thematically appropriately:

      KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!

  30. Wait a Minute... by techsoldaten · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Wait a minute guys, this is a TV SCI-FI SERIES we are talking about here. There is no problem with them making Star Wars into the next Babylon 5, and here's why:

    What do you always get in a TV Sci-Fi series?

    Cheesecake.

    That's right, Cheesecake. The only compelling reason to watch sci-fi, and directors like to serve up big, heaping slices topped with insincere gravitas and skin tight costumes.

    Jerri Ryan, that Vulcan from 'Enterprise', Erin Grey, Lt. Orora, Tasha Yar (I think that was her name), Debbie from Sealab, um... someone from Babylon 5, uh...

    I actually don't watch that much TV, so I don't really know the whole list. I am certain there are some other people who can help fill in the details.

    But you get the drift, and I, for one, cannot wait until the first time someone has to swing across a vast chasm.

    Hoping to see Pam Anderson as a Grand Moff,
    M

    1. Re:Wait a Minute... by WhatAmIDoingHere · · Score: 2

      Tasha Yar? I never saw her as a very hot chick. She was too.. manly.. to be the "Hot Chick" on TNG.

      --
      Not a Twitter sockpuppet... but I wish I was.
    2. Re:Wait a Minute... by lukestuts · · Score: 2, Funny
      Jerri Ryan, that Vulcan from 'Enterprise', Erin Grey, Lt. Orora, Tasha Yar (I think that was her name), Debbie from Sealab, um... someone from Babylon 5, uh...
      Kryten from Red Dwarf?
  31. Re:Ner..d? by GFLPraxis · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Interesting. Hopefully, they'll either be based on:

    A) After Return of the Jedi- in this case, following the X-wing series (liberation of Coruscant and all) and the Thrawn trilogy (yay!) by Zahn. The problem with this is that the actors are way too old to play Luke and Wedge and Han and Leia and Lando.

    B) New Jedi Order. Some of the best books in all of Star Wars. The character shields are GONE- Chewbacca dies, along with a number of Expanded Universe characters throughout the year. The especially useful part is that it takes place 25 years after Return of the Jedi, meaning they could use Mark Hamill and he'd fit right in ;) The problem is twofold- 1) It'd be very, very easy to screw it up and make it really bad, and 2) To the people who haven't read the books in between, it'd look really silly- they finish the Clone Wars to have a Galactic Civil War, then after that go straight to the Yuuzhan Vong Invasion. One enemy for another.

  32. Re:Good choice by Sabaki · · Score: 2, Interesting

    A) Lucas didn't direct Empire, that was directed by Irvin Kershner.

    B) I always thought Mallrats was Smith's low point. But that's just personal opinion.

  33. It might work if... by Clark_Griswold · · Score: 5, Funny
    It was shot as a reality show. Close your eyes and imagine... A house in the Hollywood hills where Chewbacca, an Ewok (yea, stock up on the Drano, the shower will DEFINETLY clog up), a couple of washed up robots, Jar-Jar and the rest of the gang are all living together. They all have to perform idiotic stunts to earn their food (Skippy peanut butter, Jell-O pudding pops and Schlitz malt liquor!) Every week the characters will put on a talent show (with themes like "Reenact Jack Soo's final episode on Barney Miller" or "Queer Eye for the Storm Trooper (they can keep the codpiece)". The television audience will then vote to eliminate or freeze in carbonite the character who puts on the worst act. The winner of the series will earn a dream vacation/vegas wedding with George Lucas himself!

    If its any different than that, it will be pure crap, nobody will watch it and it will be filed away in the history of TV Land failures, right behind Cop Rock.

    --
    -- Mace only makes me hornier.
  34. Nonsense by artemis67 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    There is no pleasing the star wars fans.

    You're absolutely right! How could the man who gave us Howard the Duck ever do wrong?

    Sarcasm aside, Episodes I and II are dumbed-down versions of Star Wars. They were more about the special effects than about the story. I find it ridiculously simplistic that Senator Palpatine could so easily engineer the takeover of the Empire; are there no other senior politicians who are in this with him? And the acting is wooden; even Ewan McGregor, one of my favorite actors, stumbles through these movies like he's not quite sure how to handle the material. Given how gifted McGregor is, I have to assume that it's Lucas's direction and writing that are the problem.

    Thr first trilogy was made in the late 70's/early 80's, before the tech revolution. For most of us, it pushed the boundaries of science fiction. Two decades later, the tech concepts of the prequels are ho-hum. Lucas really needed to hand these off to someone who had a little more of a vision than he did.

    Can you imagine if Lucas had contracted the Wachowski Brothers to write and direct the prequels? Even the least favored movie in the Matrix trilogy blows away the Star Wars prequels.

    The best of the five Star Wars movies, SW:TESB, was not directed by Lucas. I think that that speaks volumes.

    1. Re:Nonsense by jokell82 · · Score: 4, Interesting

      The best of the five Star Wars movies, SW:TESB, was not directed by Lucas. I think that that speaks volumes.

      And he didn't write it either. THAT is the main reason I think it's the best. He had a hand in ROTJ which is probably why we got the Ewoks.

      He has shown in the prequels that his writing ability is laughable at best.

      --
      I dunno who it is
      but it prolly is fhqwhgads.
    2. Re:Nonsense by garroo · · Score: 2, Funny

      Fagoo-goo-Grass? oh man, where can I get some of that awesomest burninations?

      --
      Oh my gawd, they killed kenny's mod points!!!!
  35. I have always wanted....... by Sean+Johnson · · Score: 2, Funny

    to know what life is like back at C3PO's family homestead. I want to hear every bleep and bloop that they converse with as they prepare for the great droid holiday called "Gordon Moore's Birthday".

    Maybe they could get Conan O'Brian to drop in as a suprise special guest since Art Carney prob won't make it. Then the C3PO family gets all worried cuz R2D2 is late getting there cuz he is caught in a barfight over at the Cantina on Mos Eisley (cuz you know they don't like droids there!)

    That would be cool. It would be like the SWHS all over again except without all those annoying wookies.

    --
    >>>>>> Chewie, take the professor in the back and plug him into the hyperdrive.
  36. Don't let the TV execs get their hand in... by tm2b · · Score: 5, Funny
    We'd then be stuck with:
    • CSI: Coruscant
    • Law & Order: Imperial Sedition Unit
    • Extreme Makeover: Padawan Edition
    • The Darth Vader Factor
    • Survivor: Dagobah
    • Who Wants To Marry A Sith Lord?
    • The Apprentice
    Damn. Actually I think I'd enjoy some of those.
    --
    "It is our blasphemy which has made us great, and will sustain us, and which the gods secretly admire in us." - Zelazny
    1. Re:Don't let the TV execs get their hand in... by bluesnowmonkey · · Score: 2, Funny

      Imperial Eye For a Jedi

  37. No need to get upset by Jormundgandr · · Score: 5, Insightful

    You know guys, you could always not watch it.
    That pretty much works for me when I don't want to see a TV show.

    --
    -sig removed for tax purposes-
  38. Re: sig (OT) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative
    For future reference, you may like to know that the little pink mooninite you quoted is called Irr and the larger green one is called Ignignokt.
    It's "Err", not "Irr".
  39. Han and Silent Chewie! by Chuqmystr · · Score: 2, Funny
    That's all I got to say man, bring it on! I can see it now, Han and Chewie going over stick-man schematics of mad-cap rubes of plans to overtake some imperial fortress, a-la Mall Rats!

    "C'mon LUNCHBOX! Fix that fuckin' hyperdrive already!"

  40. Re:I'm waiting for Quentin Tarantino's Star Wars.. by rk · · Score: 4, Funny

    Or the classic: "Bocce, motherfucker, do you speak it?"

  41. Re:Ner..d? by suckmysav · · Score: 5, Interesting

    " The problem with this is that the actors are way too old to play Luke and Wedge and Han and Leia and Lando."

    That is not necessarily a problem. Many movies have gone onto TV series using entirely different casts than the original. The most obvious one that springs to mind is M*A*S*H. Ask just about anyone today "who played Hawkeye in MASH" and I doubt a single person would answer you with "Donald Sutherland"

    Granted, the bigscreen version M*A*S*H is not quite on par with Star Wars pop-culture-wise (although when it was first released it was highly successful and the main stars were very identifiable at the time). Also, M*A*S*H fans were probably never quite as obsessive as their Star Wars counterparts.

    --
    "You can't fight in here, this is the war room!"
  42. Jay Jay Binks and Silent Boba Fett? by jolyonr · · Score: 2, Funny

    I hope not!

    --


    Please read my Canon EOS tech blog at http://www.everyothershot.com
  43. Re:I'm waiting for Quentin Tarantino's Star Wars.. by Trogre · · Score: 4, Funny

    Say MIDICHLORIANS again, I double dare you!

    --
    "Nine times out of ten, starting a fire is not the best way to solve the problem." - my wife
  44. Re:Ner..d? by grammar+fascist · · Score: 2, Funny

    C) Battle for Endor. Oh, yeah. Cindel returns, and aids the Ewoks in a battle against the evil Marauders. I just can't get enough of Ewoks battling evil Marauders. And...TEEK! We need TEEK!

    Like, old Teek. Crippled. But he hobbles faster than beans through a Texan with the flu.

    CINDEL SHOOTS FIRST!

    --
    I got my Linux laptop at System76.
  45. Attack on the Death Star, K. Smith style: by H_Fisher · · Score: 4, Funny

    ADMIRAL JAY AKBAR: All right, plan A. We wait 'till the Death Star's right about in orbit, then WHAM! Smack two fuckin' proton torpedoes right up its trench. We're all on 'em with the snub fighters, which Grand Moff LaFours won't be expectin' - their pitiful-ass defenses are designed for capital ships, baby! Then it's back to the Temple on Yavin for some hot Wookie sex and a fattie blunt. May the force be with us! Snootchie-bootchies!

  46. Star Wars good writing? by Mordaximus · · Score: 2, Insightful
    "Sarcasm aside, Episodes I and II are dumbed-down versions of Star Wars."

    Maybe it's just me, and maybe it's just because I've rewatched it recently. I wouldn't exactly call SW:ANH good or smart writing. It was a fun movie, with bad acting, Sir. Alec Guinness notwithstanding (actually, everyone but Han, Obi Wan and Tarkin were annoying this time around,) a pretty cheesy storyline, held together by three things (for me) : amazing special effects, an outstanding soundtrack and memories of when I saw it at the drive in when I was 5.

    Come to think of it, the end has always bothered me : a small fleet of rebel starfighters attack a battle station the size of a moon, that housed "legions of Imperial troops and fightercraft" (starwars.com), yet, the Imperials only launch at best an equal number of fighters to repel the attack?! They were there to eliminate the Rebel threat, but they leave the vast majority of their fighters in the hangar??! Vader says (paraphrased) "Several of the fighters have broken attack formation, follow me." he brings TWO pilots with him!! This is supposed to be a fully operational battlestation ; did they forget the fighters and pilots somewhere?! Actually, if they intended to end the Rebel threat forever, why isn't the majority of the Imperal FLEET there? Two movies later, it took the entire fleet to (almost) repel the Rebel attack!

    I'd hate to admit it, but I had the same "What did I see in this movie when I was kid" feeling that I had when I rewatched Krull. It was fun, too, but lacked substance. It had acting on par with SW:ANH but the soundtrack was great and the effects were very well done.

    Empire Strikes Back was another beast however : that will always be Star Wars to me.

    1. Re:Star Wars good writing? by Zab+UvWxy · · Score: 2, Insightful

      ...they leave the vast majority of their fighters in the hangar??!

      Luke hit the answer to this in RotJ, in dialogue with the Emperor: "Your overconfidence is your weakness."

      I haven't watched ANH in a while (I should, since I got the DVDs a few days ago), but I do recall one of the officers telling Tarkin that they've underestimated the danger faced by the rebel ships (X- and Y-wings). They probably saw what was coming around Yavin from the fourth moon, and when they stopped laughing, launched what they considered to be an appropriate response.

      "Oh, those pesky rebels in their little fighters. Send a couple of squadrons of TIEs out so we can get back to enjoying watching the planets blow up with our uber-cannon."

      Probably wasn't until the first barrage of proton torpedoes barely missed the exhaust port that they started getting worried.

      --
      "I don't get it." -- ObviousGuy
  47. Force Countermeasures by SeanDuggan · · Score: 2, Insightful
    Really, it does make sense. After all, we have at least two races (Hutts and whatever Watto was) who are apparently immune to the Force. Nature has a way of adapting to circumstances and I don't see it as all that unlikely that some creature out there would develop some abaility to "jam" something like the Force; it likely gave them some kind of evolutionary advantage.

    As to why it would work, I don't remember an explanation from the books, but I could see it as being a matter of actually generating their own version of the Force that happens to jam regular users much in the same was as jammers are used in electronic warfare measures.

    --
    This sig has absolutely no significance and serves only to take up screen space and waste the time of the reader.