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Caffeinated Beer Becomes a Reality
Cylar writes "CNN is reporting that Anheuser-Bush has developed a sweet, caffeinated beer they are dubbing B(E). Intended to compete with the trendy sweet concotions popular on the club scenes (such as Smirnoff Ice), it will contain caffeine, guarana, and ginseng." Not sure how I feel about ginseng in my brew, so I'll have to study this with a few cases.
In the immortal words of Homer Simpson...
Oh, yeah. Beer busts, beer blasts, keggers, stein hoists, AA meetings, beer night. It's wonderful, Marge. I've never felt so accepted in all my life. These people looked deep within my soul and assigned me a number based on the order in which I joined.
And now he can stay up late drinking beer without passing out -- because it's got caffeine!
The dangers of knowledge trigger emotional distress in human beings.
Does Drew Carey get royalty payments on this stuff?!?
Thoughts on tech, Software Engineering, and stuff
In reference to Buzz Beer (they had the concept years ago!) - "Stay up so you can get drunk all over again"
"Sweeter flavors have definitely made an impact on 21- to 35-year-olds. ... It's a bigger part of the alcohol-drinking spectrum."
I really don't have to say anything here, right?
So we take the nasty taste of American beer, and we load it up with sugar and stuff to make us jittery. Great plan.
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Marge: I'd like a coffee
Aussie Bartender: Beer it is
Marge: No, coffee
Bartender: Beer
Marge: Cof-fee
Bartender: Be-er
Marge: C-O
Bartender: B-E
In C++, friends can touch each others private parts.
Now if they can just add nicotine to it too I can have all my vices in ONE CAN!
Easy guys, I put my pants on one leg at a time. The difference is after I put on my pants I make gold records!
Yay!
I'll stick to Irish Coffee.
at least you used to be able to count on somebody passing out...
sig.
As an inhabitant of a country that makes great beers, I have to say I find this highly appaling.
You might wonder why I even care - after all, that beer is not exported to Europe and we can still drink our own (beerlike) beer. There's just one problem - the Football WC (you call it soccer...)
Stupid FIFA has a contract with an American beer producer. Guess which. That means we can only buy American beer in the stadion.
Someone from Europe who's pissed at piss...
If a train station is a place where a train stops, what's a workstation?
At first glance I thought I saw "guano" in there...
My first real thought, however, due to the distributor was, "gross."
Immediately following that, though, I thought of a Simpsons episode, then a Futurama episode:
Homer: Uh, yeah. I need something that will keep me awake, alert, and reckless all night long.
Clerk: Well, Congress is racing back to Washington to outlaw these. [puts a bottle of pills on the counter]
Homer: [takes bottle] Sold!
[downs most of the pills on the spot]
Clerk: Hey, you can't take that many pep pills at once.
Homer: No problem, I'll balance it out with a bottle of sleeping pills. [takes another generous helping of pills]
-- "Maximum Homerdrive"
Fry: I'm never going to get used to the 31st century. [He points to his breakfast.] Caffinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? Admiral Crunch?
-- "The Series Has Landed"
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If it's made by Anheiser Busch, it's CRAP!
He tried to kill me with a forklift!
At least you'll be awake and in a good mood while you "learn to enjoy" it
Holding onto the bed so you don't fall off, just *trying* to get to sleep...
Stuck down a hole! In the middle of the night! With an owl!
As if beer doesn't make you pee enough!
B/E! Now you can piss like the mighty Mississipp!!
Vos teneo officium eram periculosus ut vos recipero is.
Years ago, a friend of mine was brewing and thought he'd invent a recipie for Coffee Porter. Rather than read what anyone else had done, he decided to just wing it and hope for the best.
He came into work one Monday, and asked what I knew about coffee. Seems he had a bottle with dinner the night before, but hadn't been to sleep yet.
Now any homebrewer can tell you that the typical formula for 5-6 gallons of beer calls for about one pot of strong coffee for a subtle but noticable flavor.
Mark, on the other hand, took a pound of french roast, ground it to the "Espresso" setting, and dumped it into secondary for two weeks. If I remember the back-of-the-envelope calculations, we figured each bottle had 500 - 700 mg of caffiene, compared to 40-70 mg in a cup of coffee.
He gave me a bottle, and we used it for shots at a party, but that's about all I could do with it.
--
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They must get a nickel every time someone runs to the John. Don't we suffer enough!
"Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
--Dr.W.Edwards Deming
Too drunk to drive, too jittery to just sit in the back seat.
They really do make nothing but garbage. At a local beer bar I go to that brews their own bar, they will ask you to leave if you try to order a Budweiser...or anything else from that trash "brewery" and I use the term brewery loosely.
You sip beer? What are you a girl or something? Beer is for quaffing, chugging and gulping! ;D
Am I the only one who read this and though of the Pan Galatic Gargle Blaster, which is like being whacked round the head with a gold brick wrapped in a slice of Lemon? or am I just weird?
Philip
Signatures are broken
Derivitives of Red Bull & Vodka... meaning child support and alimony?
Hmm, coffee cans on tailpipes. Could that have been the inspiration?
"Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
--Dr.W.Edwards Deming
Trolling using another account since 2005.
Thank goodness. Finally a beer that goes well with Twinkies.
Hell no
:P
Potions are for quaffing, have you learned nothing ?
To quaff or not to quaff? which potion is the question.
This is the sig that says NI (again)
Stay up and get drunk all over again!
Fry: I'll never get used to the 31st century. Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? Admiral Crunch?
Leela: Well if you don't like that, try some Archduke Chocula.
At least you'll be awake and in a good mood while you "learn to enjoy" it
Just what the highways need at oh-dark-thirty in the A.M... a bunch of wide awake drunks behind the wheel.
If you did, you'd have all the food groups:
- Fat
- Salt
- Sugar
- Caffeine
- Beer
Yum!
I call it The Olympian - it keeps you running full speed all night (and most of the next day) like an olympic athlete.
ouzo
coke
coffee
redbull
An acquired taste, but sure to get you drunk, black you out, and keep you going!
perl -e '$_="\007/4`\cp%2,".chr(127);s/./"\"\\c$&\""/gees
Why the very thought of anyone drinking such a low class beverage has CAUSED MY MONOCLE TO POP RIGHT OUT! And really, who drinks beer in this day and age anyway? Everyone should drink only expensive wine and scotch.
Why just the other day my chauffeur took a wrong turn off of the freeway and pulled me past this run down little liquor store where this shabby looking man (who by the way was driving a Pontiac! A PONTIAC!!!) who hadn't shaved for a couple of days was walking out with a bottle of Johnny Walker Red. RED LABEL?! I exclaimed, exhaling a puff of cigar smoke and tipping my top hat back in a bemused manner. WHO ARE THESE CRETINS? I practically had my driver phone the police right then and there...
"The combination of alcohol and caffeine should be addictive as heroin but so far the sales haven't born that out." - Lewis Kiniski
"The majority of beer drinkers, and people we are trying to approach with this product, are not terribly concerned with carbs all the time," said Lachky.
So the target audience is fat party sluts (no man is going to drink fruity beer).
in bed.
Next thing you know, they'll be putting ginko biloba into beer so that you can get drunk, do something stupid, and remember it in the morning.
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There's nothing more of an oxymoron than a beer snob.
~S
Now we have our choice of
Angry drunks
Sad drunks
Happy drunks
PLUS!
Hyper drunks
Chatty drunks
Oscillating drunks.
Woohoo.
And which genius at AB decided what beer needs is MORE diuretic effect.
"Win treats sysadmins better than users. Mac treats users better than sysadmins. Linux treats everyone like sysadmins."
I always thought Hoegaarden sounded like an outdoor brothel.
Or something like that.
"Waste not one watt!" - CZ
Too late, twinkies maker is going out of business!
Woo-hoo! Our favorite combo, here on the farm, used to be methamphetamines and alcohol (and motorcycles and guns, but that's off the subject).
The alcohol takes the unpleasant harsh edge off the speed, and you get the euphoric effect of the alcohol without the sloppy-drunk problems. Plus you don't pass out!
Mixing drugs like this is done all the time by the pros: go into any mental ward, and ask what people are taking. You'll find most of them on a "cocktail" of drugs. Some are for the primary complaint (e.g. psychosis), and others are to manage the side-effects of the main drug.
Good times!
Never attribute to malice that which can be explained by mere idiocy.
"Man! That fat chick over there looks so hot... and I can't stop talking about it!"
Or 151 and Jolt, aka "Jumper cables"
"ya go down but ya don't go out"
Caffeine and alcohol may not be all it's cracked up.
I once saw someone use Jolt for mix. By the end of the night he was so bombed he needed to sleep but so wired he couldn't sit still. Not a pretty sight.
At the time, he most assuredly was not in a good mood for the experience.
Cheers
Lost at C:>. Found at C.