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Wild Gorillas Impress With Their Tools

fatgav writes "The BBC is running an article about wild gorillas being seen to use tools in the wild. It is especially significant as not only have Gorillas never been seen to use tools, but they have been using them in a way unlike other great apes. From the article: 'The most astonishing thing is that we have observed them using tools not for obtaining food, but for postural support.' The scientists are getting excited as it can help to explain questions as to how the most advanced great ape (us) came to evolve."

187 of 276 comments (clear)

  1. But... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Are we any closer to explaining this:
    http://www.ntk.net/media/dancemonkeyboy.mpg.

    And yet they say "Intelligent Design" isn't a falsifiable theory...

    1. Re:But... by HermanAB · · Score: 4, Funny

      That video is different. It doesn't display any intelligence.

      --
      Oh well, what the hell...
    2. Re:But... by DarthTaco · · Score: 1

      I'm sure that video is old among slashdotters in general, but I've never seen it before. That's amazing... hard to believe a couple hops like that winded him too.

    3. Re:But... by MarkRose · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, some primates are definitely intelligent. After all, have you ever had this done to you at the zoo?

      --
      Be relentless!
    4. Re:But... by Ranger · · Score: 1

      I think this is why Paul Allen invested so much money in SETI. Sounds like Steve was really pumped before coming out onto stage.

      --
      "You'll get nothing, and you'll like it!"
    5. Re:But... by nickmdf · · Score: 1

      And I thought it was a story about the latest
      developer release of Vista.
      "Ooh Ooh Ooh. Monad shell too hard for my brain. Leave it out!
      Ooh, Ooh Ooh".

    6. Re:But... by game+kid · · Score: 1

      Umm...interesting. But if you think apes using tools is crazy, how about apes using licenses?

      --
      You can hold down the "B" button for continuous firing.
    7. Re:But... by mookie+da+wookie · · Score: 1

      seafaring bonanza apes milk their closely inebriated cousins shrew hammers. Match with motor skills half baked cucumber bovine astrology when octupi encounter molting swashbucklers.

      Heebie Flockus Orc Mirkel

      --
      I particularly enjoy rubbing your noses in my towering intellect. On a personal note, I am an avid mustard enthusiast.
    8. Re:But... by Seumas · · Score: 1

      Wild Gorillas Impress With Their Tools

      Heheheheh....

    9. Re:But... by Ucklak · · Score: 1

      Could someone explain the context? Pretty damn funny with the monkey hoots too.

      --
      if you steal from one source, that is plagiarism, if you steal from many, well, that's just research.
  2. Let's just hope.. by yagu · · Score: 5, Funny

    Let's just hope they never evolve to the level where they take up arms and declare war against us. Our record in Gorilla warfare hasn't been so stellar.

    1. Re:Let's just hope.. by mysqlrocks · · Score: 1

      Let's just hope they never evolve to the level where they take up arms and declare war against us.

      I think we're doing a fine job of fighting against ourselves. The chimps can just sit back and wait for us to kill each other and then they can rule the world. And we think we're smarter?

    2. Re:Let's just hope.. by fireboy1919 · · Score: 1

      Nah, it's not a problem. They're not numerous enough to fight us, (but quite clearly this article doesn't tell the whole story...we only really need to worry about evil gorilla despots rising up and enslaving human and gorilla kind.

      By the time the gorillas rise up to enslave humanity, we'll all have robot bodies, chainsaw hands, and the strength of five gorillas. What will really need to worry about is all the normal humans trying to kill off all the cyborgs.

      Stinkin' humans.

      --
      Mod me down and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!
    3. Re:Let's just hope.. by VeryProfessional · · Score: 2, Funny

      Our record in Gorilla warfare hasn't been so stellar.

      Just fight them in space... their record in stellar warfare makes them look like gorillas.

    4. Re:Let's just hope.. by Ironsides · · Score: 1

      Our record in Gorilla warfare hasn't been so stellar.

      Just fight them in space... their record in stellar warfare makes them look like gorillas.


      I don't know... Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys did fairly well in their battles against Nebula.

      --
      Fly me to the moon Let me sing among those stars Let me see what spring is like On jupiter and mars
    5. Re:Let's just hope.. by Pantero+Blanco · · Score: 1

      Only one of the Space Monkies was a gorilla, though, and he wasn't exactly the brightest one. I think we'd do fine against gorillas in space...As long as they didn't get help from schizophrenic oragutang technology. We'd have to bring in the Fox then.

    6. Re:Let's just hope.. by chrismcdirty · · Score: 1

      Have fun on the robot reservation, suckers! We're not gonna honor those bogus treaties!

      --
      It's like sex, except I'm having it!
    7. Re:Let's just hope.. by Fussen · · Score: 1

      Or having the gorillas corner the walking stick market.

  3. They don't impress me much... by The+Real+Nem · · Score: 5, Funny

    I thought Gorillas had relatively small "tools" compared to their human counterparts. Certainly nothing much to impress with.

    1. Re:They don't impress me much... by ozmanjusri · · Score: 1

      I thought Gorillas had relatively small "tools" compared to their human counterparts.

      I'd heard that too, but none of these fancy scientists praise me when I get my tool out and show off with it...

      --
      "I've got more toys than Teruhisa Kitahara."
    2. Re:They don't impress me much... by Phalnix · · Score: 1

      Maybe we have a lot in common after all. I use my for postural support too.

  4. Well, it's a known fact... by clambake · · Score: 1, Funny

    Human tools are bigger than gorilla tools... I mean, that's what makes us "great" apes right? (That and out ability to make puns at the drop of a hat!)

    1. Re:Well, it's a known fact... by vally_the_poo · · Score: 1

      > Human tools are bigger than gorilla tools...

      Yes, and mine is bigger than yours...

  5. Re:Here's a hint by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Hahaha, hey, 769 BC called, they want their myths and lengends they pulled out of their ass back!!!

  6. hoo haa by 42Penguins · · Score: 1

    "It is especially significant as not only have Gorillas never been seen to use tools, but they have been using them in a way unlike other great apes." TFA doesn't seem to mention differences in their use of tools, just that they haven't been seen before.

    1. Re:hoo haa by Bitsy+Boffin · · Score: 1

      What is different is that the tool use has not only been just indirectly related to attaining food, but some of it hasn't been involved in attaining food at all - simply getting from A to B.

      For example, the extraction, reposition and use of the trunk of a dead shrub as an anchor point for leaning on, and later a bridge enabled the gorilla to reach food (without getting wet) but didn't *directly* get food for it, where as the typical tool usage example of using a stick to fish out termites or whatever is a very direct tool use - tool gets food which would seem to be a much easier relationship to come across.

      I think that's whats really impressive here, that the gorilla (or some gorilla in the past that passed the knowledge on) made that indirect link - "hmm, there's probably tasty stuff down there, but I don't want to get all wet, so whats lying around that could help me do that".

      --
      NZ Electronics Enthusiasts: Check out my Trade Me Listings
    2. Re:hoo haa by Fred_A · · Score: 1

      The gorilla will only show you his tool if you show him yours.

      --

      May contain traces of nut.
      Made from the freshest electrons.
  7. Wow by bahwi · · Score: 4, Funny

    Such the wrong impression from that title. My mind is way too low right now.

    1. Re:Wow by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Informative
      Almost choked on my pepsi when I scrolled up to remember what the title was.

      Ya know, it's right there in the title bar. You don't have to scroll.

  8. I learn intellegent design from school. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    My teacher says it proves all answers are in the Bible and that science nowdays is work of the devil. If you believe in science you're a fool. I pray for your souls.

    1. Re:I learn intellegent design from school. by quokkapox · · Score: 1
      I pray for your souls.

      That's okay -- you pray for us, and we'll think for you.

      At least until our posthuman descendants are able to finally get off this rock and get to work colonizing the rest of the galaxy. We'll take our advanced biotechnology and scientific theories with us. We'll need them to continue improving ourselves.

      We'll leave you primitive folks to yourselves. You can continue killing each other with your impressive tools.

      (Yes, I know AC was being sarcastic -- I, however, am not.)

      --
      it's a blue bright blue Saturday hey hey
    2. Re:I learn intellegent design from school. by bsartist · · Score: 1

      Could you do me a favor and pray for my soles instead? I could use a new pair of shoes. Thanks!

      --
      Lost: Sig, white with black letters. No collar. Reward if found!
    3. Re:I learn intellegent design from school. by Thing+1 · · Score: 1

      And you're so right: the meek shall inherit the Earth. The rest of us are going to the stars.

      --
      I feel fantastic, and I'm still alive.
    4. Re:I learn intellegent design from school. by operagost · · Score: 1

      Ha ha... straw man and non sequitur jokes. Dey sure am funny.

      --

      Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
    5. Re:I learn intellegent design from school. by operagost · · Score: 1

      I hate to burst your bubble, but Sid Meier is not a prophet.

      --

      Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
    6. Re:I learn intellegent design from school. by gardyloo · · Score: 1


      The only way we are going to prove creationism is to be tactful about it
      and reason from the bible.


          And therein, I suspect, is a problem with your method.

    7. Re:I learn intellegent design from school. by Mr2cents · · Score: 1

      What's a bible?

      --
      "It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful." - Anton LaVey
    8. Re:I learn intellegent design from school. by Grishnakh · · Score: 1

      That sucks, because the earth is mostly a nice place, with some really beautiful places like Hawaii, the Amazon, the Alps, etc. We should ship the meek off to some barren, desolate planet to live in mining colonies.

    9. Re:I learn intellegent design from school. by Hurricane78 · · Score: 1

      Yeah. Like in the guy in "Hyperion that was only able to say 7 words (5 of 'em were words for genitals and maledictions) who had help to terraforming a planet by removing stuff like sulphur in parched riverbeds with a shovel. ;)

      --
      Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
  9. No big deal by darklordyoda · · Score: 5, Funny

    Not a big deal, we already control the gorillas' habitats.

    Now when the dolphins grow opposable thumbs, then we're screwed.

    1. Re:No big deal by Cheapy · · Score: 1

      'Tis a dangerous thing to engage the authority of scripture in disputes about the natural world, in opposition to reason; lest time, which brings all things to light, should discover that to be evidently false which we had made scripture assert.

      - Reverend Thomas Burnet (1635-1715)

      --
      Would you kindly mod me +1 insightful?
  10. Tool use by other great apes by lightyear4 · · Score: 3, Informative

    Check here for some examples of tool usage in the other great ape families (primarily chimpanzees).

    1. Re:Tool use by other great apes by mkro · · Score: 1

      and here for Betty The Crow, bending a wire to gain access to food. Quite cool.

      --
      I shall go and tell the indestructible man that someone plans to murder him.
  11. Baboons by HermanAB · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I have seen baboons open doors, open garbage cans, whack things with sticks, whack shellfish with rocks - and baboons are held to be less intelligent than other great apes.

    --
    Oh well, what the hell...
    1. Re:Baboons by Dave21212 · · Score: 4, Informative

      Actually, some folks think baboons are more intelligent than gorillas... Steve Van Nattan is one. Here's a really odd little story...

      This will be a hard one to write. Baboons are naughty animals by human standards, and many a tourist has been shocked at the manners of these hairy beasts. I personally think the chimpanzee is highly over-rated as to intelligence. Liberal animal huggers most often give the chimp credit for being the smartest ape because he, like his alleged fool evolutionary heir, man, can smoke cigars and ride bicycles. A baboon would flunk if cigars are the deciding factor. Nevertheless, I vote for baboons in the intelligence ratings. I think you may agree after you read this story.
      --
      "Whoever would overthrow the liberty of a nation must begin by subduing the freeness of speech."--Benjamin Franklin
    2. Re:Baboons by The+Amazing+Fish+Boy · · Score: 1

      I have seen baboons open doors, open garbage cans, whack things with sticks, whack shellfish with rocks - and baboons are held to be less intelligent than other great apes.

      I think you've been hanging around Tony Shalhoub, Robin Williams, and James Gandolfini just a little too often....

    3. Re:Baboons by HermanAB · · Score: 3, Funny

      "Actually, some folks think baboons are more intelligent than gorillas... Steve Van Nattan is one. Here's a really odd..." Uhh, are you saying that Steve van Nattan is a baboon or a gorilla?

      --
      Oh well, what the hell...
    4. Re:Baboons by lawpoop · · Score: 1

      Well, raccoons do this too, and guaranteed, they are less intelligent than apes.

      --
      Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
      -- Pablo Picasso
    5. Re:Baboons by HermanAB · · Score: 1

      A raccoon can probably gnaw his way through a door, but I doubt they will turn the knob and open it. It is kinda scary when the back door of the cottage suddenly opens and a 5 foot tall 300lb hairy black monster is looking you in the eye - though I guess it regularly happens in US cities too...

      --
      Oh well, what the hell...
    6. Re:Baboons by lawpoop · · Score: 1
      Raccoons are very smart and curious, and quickly get bored with tedious tasks. As far as gnawing, the don't really have they dentition for it -- they are omnivores.

      Raccoons are very good mechanically, so long as they can reach the thing and get their thumbed hands on it (note: raccoon thumbs are not opposable). They are expert openers when it comes to containers for food and garbage.

      --
      Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
      -- Pablo Picasso
    7. Re:Baboons by shiftless · · Score: 1

      Baboons are monkeys...

    8. Re:Baboons by lawpoop · · Score: 1

      Well, since they lack opposable thumbs, they won't be able to fill in the little bubbles on the IQ test, so they are therefore demonstrably less intelligent.

      --
      Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
      -- Pablo Picasso
  12. Re:Well Duh by Fallingcow · · Score: 1

    I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who saw that in the headline.

    For a second I thought I was still looking at Fark; double-entendre headlines are usually their thing.

  13. Addendum Re:Tool use by other great apes by lightyear4 · · Score: 1

    Addendum: See also for videos and other examples of chimpanzee tool usage.

  14. Gorillas Gone Wild by Zakabog · · Score: 4, Funny

    See these WILD gorillas use their tools in ways never seen before! Order now and get "Gorillas Gone Wild: Spring Break Edition." A new tape sent every month, cancel any time!

  15. Worst... Title... EVAR... +Some real facts by Dave21212 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Wild Gorillas Impress With Their Tools... oh my, they do.

    (Seriously, this is from a real book)
    Excerpt From "Gorillas among Us: A Primate Ethnographer's Book of Days"

    "They mated and were done in about two minutes. I guess he thought they were finished and went back to eating his celery. All of their matings before had been brief, usually only one or two copulations. But she turned around and stared at him again, just like before. He tried to turn away, but she stayed inches away from his face. They ended up mating thirty-three times that day. It was so funny, because he kept that celery in his hand the whole time and never got a chance to eat it. At the end of the day he came inside and passed out with that sorry wilted stalk still clenched in his fist."
    --
    "Whoever would overthrow the liberty of a nation must begin by subduing the freeness of speech."--Benjamin Franklin
  16. Possibility by xgamer04 · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Maybe they saw humans (or some other 'higher' ape) using tools? I dunno, it's a possibility, right?

    --
    When you look at the state of the world, how can you not become a radical, liberal anarchist?
    1. Re:Possibility by Pantero+Blanco · · Score: 1, Insightful

      Isn't that similar to one Judeo-Christian interpretation of how humans began using tools, that we were taught by the "nephilim"?

    2. Re:Possibility by Ieshan · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Probably ought to go back to Thorndike.

      In any display of anything classified as "animal intelligence", animal modeling is usually not the answer. There was once a widely believed anecdote from Romanes about a group of mice who, after watching humans load up boats filled with things and paddle across rivers, would do the same with small blocks of wood and tiny paddles. No, seriously. Ridiculous, right? Right.

    3. Re:Possibility by Pantero+Blanco · · Score: 1

      Primates are a bit closer to us to start with, though...And we already know that many of them WILL emulate us (chimps do it all the time). Gorillas learning how to use tools from watching humans is much more believable than the mouse story.

    4. Re:Possibility by lawpoop · · Score: 1
      Well, which are you going to believe, some folktale passed down from the Roman times, or a trained animal researcher with field notes and perhaps a photograph or two?

      BTW has anyone else seen mice emulating a cargo ferry since Roman times? Events such as chimps using grass stalks as termite catching sticks has been well-documented. I've seen footage of it, even.

      --
      Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
      -- Pablo Picasso
  17. So true... by Cerdic · · Score: 2, Funny

    And they are such showoffs about it. I was invited over to the zoo last weekend by a gorilla. He was chugging the beers when he suddenly decided to take me to the tool shed to show me the new bandsaw he bought the day before.

    From t-squares to circular saws, that ape had it all. I'm envious :(

    --
    Advice for my fellow geeks: before seeking out that threesome you dream of, you might see what a TWOsome is like first.
    1. Re:So true... by Tablizer · · Score: 1

      when he suddenly decided to take me to the tool shed to show me the new bandsaw he bought the day before. From t-squares to circular saws, that ape had it all. I'm envious

      More likely, a redneck neighbor who doesn't like to shave.

  18. Meta post... by ktakki · · Score: 4, Funny
    I predict that the comments to follow this story will consist of...

    • 54 comments about the double-entendre of the story's headline
    • 37 comments from people wondering where the gorillas got the credit card needed to order the Leatherman from thinkgeek.com
    • 15 "I, for one, welcome our tool-using gorilla overlords..."
    • 9 "In Soviet Uganda..."
    • 3 actually substantive comments about the use of tools among primates and other animals, such as chimps using sticks to probe anthills and termite mounds, seagulls dropping shellfish on beachside parking lots to break them open, dolphins using sea sponges to protect their snouts as they forage for food near stinging stonefish, and wood finches using twigs and cactus spines to pry insects out of tree trunks.


    k.
    --
    "In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart." - Anne Frank
    1. Re:Meta post... by Legion303 · · Score: 1

      "54 comments about the double-entendre of the story's headline"

      55.

      Scientists are getting excited about the gorillas' impressive tools. Heh heh heh.

      And of course you forgot: 2 comments about how only old Korean gorillas use tools these days.

    2. Re:Meta post... by Tezkah · · Score: 1
      You forgot:
      • One metapost about the posts
      • One metapost about that post.
    3. Re:Meta post... by matman · · Score: 1

      Dont forget one meta post, one meta-meta post, and a partridge in a pear tree.

    4. Re:Meta post... by elgee · · Score: 1

      You missed some.

      "But can they run Linux?"
      "I would like to see a Beowulf cluster of them"

    5. Re:Meta post... by game+kid · · Score: 1
      "I would like to see a Beowulf cluster of them"

      Me too, but don't tell the FBI that.

      They, for one, would not welcome our gang-banging, impressive-tooled overlords.

      --
      You can hold down the "B" button for continuous firing.
    6. Re:Meta post... by geoff43230 · · Score: 1

      The jury would have also accepted :

      2. ?
      3. profit!

    7. Re:Meta post... by Saeger · · Score: 1

      What... A Planet of the Apes prequel gets no love?

      --
      Power to the Peaceful
    8. Re:Meta post... by Pantero+Blanco · · Score: 1

      You forgot the three debates about evolution that get spawned every time a story like this comes along, and the twenty Flying Spaghetti Monster posts from people who still think it's funny.

  19. Re:Well Duh by TapTapTheChisler · · Score: 1

    Gorilla testicles are incredibly small relative to the size of their body (according to Bullshit)

  20. Ape Tales by Doc+Ruby · · Score: 4, Interesting

    I can't find the article in Google now, but I remember about 5 years ago reading about ape tribes exhibiting "written language" behavior. As I recall, apes would set out from their tribe's collective sleeping place to find food in nearby forest. After they found some, they'd return, breaking twigs along their path. Other apes in their tribe could follow the "signs" back to the food later. But apes of other tribes couldn't recognize the signs. The apes apparently learned to interpret the signs in their own tribal language, but not others.

    Now they're seen using walking sticks. Perhaps we'll find that apes use the sticks in different styles, and that some styles are learned by watching other apes. What would we look for to discover that some of that learning is derived from the marks made by the sticks, rather than watching a stick-using ape "in person"? If we found those records, would we have discovered "ape fashion magazines"?

    --

    --
    make install -not war

    1. Re:Ape Tales by sd_diamond · · Score: 3, Funny

      Now they're seen using walking sticks. Perhaps we'll find that apes use the sticks in different styles, and that some styles are learned by watching other apes. What would we look for to discover that some of that learning is derived from the marks made by the sticks, rather than watching a stick-using ape "in person"? If we found those records, would we have discovered "ape fashion magazines"?

      "Oh... My... God. Did you even SEE that gnarly branch that Og was carrying around yesterday? And he calls that a walking stick? What-EVER. I so can't believe that I almost copulated with him last mating season. I only hope the primatologists weren't watching. I would NEVER be able to live with myself..."

    2. Re:Ape Tales by deaddrunk · · Score: 1

      Funny mods for this please :)

      --
      Does a Christian soccer team even need a goalkeeper?
  21. Re:Worst... Title... EVAR... +Some real facts by Maxo-Texas · · Score: 1

    That is pretty darned impressive. Most I ever managed (loooong ago in my youth) was 6 or 7 times. That must have been some come-hither look she was giving him!

    --
    She was like chocolate when she drank... semi-sweet at first and then increasingly bitter.
  22. What an Old Story by LordHatrus · · Score: 2, Funny

    Really now, slashdot. I'm ashamed. You call yourselves technophiles? My buddies and I were on 'the scene' of these new technologies 6,000 years ago! Honestly!

  23. Re:Here's a hint by DavidTC · · Score: 3, Insightful
    Humans didn't evolve from apes.

    Humans are apes.

    Sheesh. How could we evolve from ourselves?

    --
    If corporations are people, aren't stockholders guilty of slavery?
  24. First comes postural support by cove209 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Next comes Planet of the Apes

  25. What a job... by SenseOfHumor · · Score: 4, Funny
    "We've been observing gorillas for 10 years here, and we have two cases of them using detached objects as tools,"...


    Where do I sign up for these jobs?
    1. Re:What a job... by Kohath · · Score: 1

      Where do I sign up for these jobs?

      Well, first you have to be a gorilla...

    2. Re:What a job... by CAIMLAS · · Score: 1

      No kidding. 10 years of observation, and only 2 instances of tool use?

      Sorry, how is that even remotely groundbreaking or impressive? You could almost chalk thoes kinds of odds up to random chance.

      --
      ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
    3. Re:What a job... by pbhj · · Score: 1

      Yeah ... I saw some of the footage of the "gorilla using a stick for depth measurement", it looked incredibly like "gorilla walking in water and happening to be holding a stick" to me. But I guess you have to be an expert ...?

    4. Re:What a job... by lxs · · Score: 1

      No kidding. 10 years of observation, and only 2 instances of tool use?

      That's how clever they are. Every time a researcher comes near, they cover their campfires
        hide their bows and arrows and stop their discussions on the origins of life, the universe and everything.

      Now this one gorilla obviously let her guard down, and got caught with a walking stick. Word has been sent to Yeti assassins, but they arrived too late to intercept the footage.

    5. Re:What a job... by pbhj · · Score: 1

      This might be the first time I can genuinely say "LOL".

    6. Re:What a job... by bbc · · Score: 1

      "Where do I sign up for these jobs?"

      If you actually enjoy watching Gorillas day in, day out, for ten years in a row, only to see them touch their celery twice, I am sure you will have no trouble getting one of those jobs.

  26. On behalf of my kind and our impresive tools ... by surelyserious · · Score: 1

    I for one welcome your guerrilla underwear.

    --
    "We're millions of miles from earth, inside a giant white face, what's impossible?"
  27. This is news? by ObjetDart · · Score: 2, Informative

    I thought it's been well known for years that gorillas use tools. You don't think they've typing all that spam by hand do you?

    --
    I read Usenet for the articles.
    1. Re:This is news? by mormop · · Score: 1

      Does whoever modded the parent up as informative know something we don't? +1 Funny I can deal with, but informative?

      --
      Hmmmmmm..... Deep fried and look like Squirrel.
  28. This is consistent with His Noodly Teachings by ScentCone · · Score: 3, Funny

    From the article: 'The most astonishing thing is that we have observed them using tools not for obtaining food, but for postural support.'

    Sure, because being simple souls, they get all of the flown-in pasta they can pray for. And of course, Postural Support is exactly the sort of thing that you'd expect from a Creator that really understands what it's like to have only Noodly Appendages.

    --
    Don't disappoint your bird dog. Go to the range.
    1. Re:This is consistent with His Noodly Teachings by arbitraryaardvark · · Score: 1

      I don't have the exact quote handy, but Robert Heinlein said the first tool was not a weapon, it was a crutch.
      http://heinleinsociety.org/

  29. you insensitive clod! by GoddessOfDeath · · Score: 1

    rob schneider is no baboon!

  30. Re:Here's a hint by MightyMartian · · Score: 2, Insightful

    You know, the next time I hear pure unadulterated bullshit defended under the banner of "diversity" I think I'm going to scream. The evidence, all the evidence mind you, points to gorillas and humans sharing a common ancestor. In particular, the molecular evidence pretty much makes it an open and shut case, and the fact that a few guys have buried their heads in the sand so deep that they are actually willing to deny reality is simply an indication that at least gorillas, unlike humans, don't deny their environment.

    --
    The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
  31. we are not the most advanced by PhatKat · · Score: 4, Insightful

    there is no most here. does anyone understand that? Evolution doesn't have a purpose, it just is. To say "we are the most advanced" is exactly the same as saying "in our opinion we are the most advanced" and since presumably no other animal can respond to us in our language, the ayes have it. It's still total hogwash though. to say "most advanced" can't be applied unless there are qualifiers. For instance "humans are the most advanced animals because we birth the heartiest young" or how about "humans are the most advanced because we have the most sophisticated perceptual awareness" or "humans are the most advanced because we are the most peaceful."

    1. Re:we are not the most advanced by CAIMLAS · · Score: 1, Informative

      The difference here is that no other species has the concept of being advanced. Hell, they don't even have the concept of concept. So, in the terms of reasoning, yes, we are the "most advanced".

      --
      ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
    2. Re:we are not the most advanced by Tablizer · · Score: 1

      When Gorillas invent porn, I will believe you. Until then, we have the most porn, so neener neener on the fuzzy knuckle walkers.

    3. Re:we are not the most advanced by PhatKat · · Score: 1

      how do you know they don't? A professor for a class I just dropped said that one of the qualities that differentiates us from animals is that animals do not have imagination. Have you ever seen a dog run in it's sleep? You think that's involuntary? The dog is dreaming. Just because you can't observe something doesn't mean you can assume proof of it's absence.

    4. Re:we are not the most advanced by KylePflug · · Score: 1

      Here's an argument for being the most advanced: We are more capable of spreading our seed than any other race, especially any other large mammal (yes, you could say that cockroaches and bacteria are more advanced by taht definition, but cockroaches and bacteria aren't going to Mars unless we bring them, deliberately or otherwise.)

      Of course, there's another pretty potent argument: If anyone else gets all fussy and wants to be the most advanced, we have the capacity to nuke them off of the face of the earth. Total obliteration of everything is not something that every creature is capable of. And that's pretty cool :D

    5. Re:we are not the most advanced by Mr2001 · · Score: 1

      We are more capable of spreading our seed than any other race, especially any other large mammal (yes, you could say that cockroaches and bacteria are more advanced by taht definition, but cockroaches and bacteria aren't going to Mars unless we bring them, deliberately or otherwise.)

      So far, we haven't spread any seed on Mars, and we still have a long way to go to catch up to insects or bacteria here on earth.

      Of course, there's another pretty potent argument: If anyone else gets all fussy and wants to be the most advanced, we have the capacity to nuke them off of the face of the earth.

      Haven't you heard that only cockroaches (and Twinkies) will survive a nuclear holocaust?

      --
      Visual IRC: Fast. Powerful. Free.
    6. Re:we are not the most advanced by CAIMLAS · · Score: 1

      You'll get the wrong answer if you ask the wrong question. The same thing happens when you derail the topic by mentioning something unrelated.

      So what if an animal has an imagination? That has little to do with an animals ability to consciously conceptualize, or to see new solutions to problems and then act on their vision. Blind mimicry or acting on instict are not signs of "advancement" in any sense of the word. They're direct contradictions.

      Also, dreaming (whether it's you or the dog) has nothing to do with coherrency, reason, or "advancement". Dreams very rarely make sense, which is because a dream is basically your brain performing a core dump of the day's emotions and experiences.

      --
      ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
    7. Re:we are not the most advanced by killjoe · · Score: 1

      Why would a cockroach need to invent vehicles when we are perfectly happy to carry them and their seed all over the planet and eventually mars.

      --
      evil is as evil does
    8. Re:we are not the most advanced by toganet · · Score: 2, Insightful

      What people don't understand is that evolution is about adaptation, no advancement. Humans are exactly as adapted to their environment as Gorillas are (well, at least until we started messing up the jungles, etc.)

      It's bad enough when you hear people say things like, "Chimps are way more evolved than Baboons", but folks love to think the we are evolving into some "higher" lifeform -- what this is no one knows.

      Worst example of this is the argument posed by southern evangelicals:

      If you believe in evolution, then you believe that African-Americans are inferior.

      Not only is this offensive, but it rests on two assumptions that are false:

      1. Evolution has a direction, and
      2. Whites are better than Blacks.
      So once again we have proof that the South is stupid AND racist.
    9. Re:we are not the most advanced by jafac · · Score: 1

      Well, there's "most advanced" - and the more accurate; "Who would win in a fight". And that's been working for comic-book geeks for decades.

      --

      These are my friends, See how they glisten. See this one shine, how he smiles in the light.
    10. Re:we are not the most advanced by loqi · · Score: 1

      I think you're reducing this to a semantic issue when it's really not. Evolution might not have a purpose, but it does seemingly have a direction: complexity. There are exceptions, but is there any question that the life-forms that exist today are more complex than those that existed 200 million years ago? By that metric (which is of course still arbitrary, but at least has a rationale), and assuming genome size is a good indicator of complexity, wouldn't humans take top spot (serious question, IANA biologist) as the "largest" self-replicating collection of biological information?

      --
      If other reasons we do lack, we swear no one will die when we attack
    11. Re:we are not the most advanced by mink · · Score: 1

      I think a better way to view dreaming is it is like cleaning out /tmp after the system is put into single user mode.

      --
      Well I've wrestled with reality for thirty five years doctor, and I'm happy to say I finally won out over it.
  32. Re:Here's a hint by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1

    When people say stupid shit that's obviously stupid, I post anonymously to not pollute the +1 posts. If I could post at 0 under my name I would. And fear isn't something I generally associate with a fucking website; not sure what sad world you're living in. Also nice to tear into people without being PC occasionally (not as if it matters, I have a 5 digit UID and excellent karma since, oh, 4 years ago).

    The fact is, it might have been relevant to the story, but it was delivered as flamebait. It's really not too tough to grasp. /. is opinions, glad you picked that tricky one up, but there's also a "flamebait" modifier for a reason.

    Now quit your bitching.

  33. Re:But... Genetically designed by space aliens? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting

    Well, not to offend those who place great faith in the omnicient Flying Spagetti Monster.

    But is it possible that we are unique because we were genetically engineered by an intelligent alien race? Maybe despite evolution, humans had a little help, and what if... What if the evolutionary process is reversed? What if the monkeys are genetic mutations of us? or Continued experimentation by our hypothetical space brothers and sisters derived from human genetics, and not the reverse, as is commonly believed?

    I'm not saying I know, or have proof. Just here's another angle to contemplate.

  34. Uh, ok? by CAIMLAS · · Score: 1

    So, gorillas (and other primates) use tools. BFD. Elephants use tools. Spiders can make tools. Dolphins can be trained to use tools. Pretty much any animal with a limited set of natural tools suited to their environment can learn how to use tools.

    I'm not sure I see what the big deal is, as this doesn't "prove" anything.

    --
    ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
    1. Re:Uh, ok? by Eccentricity2277 · · Score: 1

      It proves that people see what they want to see in almost any circumstance, no matter how unlikely. :-)

      --
      Site Owner, http://www.Siege-Mods.com Dungeon Siege Mod Central!
  35. Yeah, by jpellino · · Score: 3, Funny

    Murdoc & Noodle do OK with their axes - dunno if you give Russel credit (are drumsticks tools?) but 2D's certainly learned to make the best with what he's lost...

    --
    "Win treats sysadmins better than users. Mac treats users better than sysadmins. Linux treats everyone like sysadmins."
  36. And.... by omnipresentbob · · Score: 1

    Twice in ten years they see gorillas using tools. I think random chance could account for that better than saying that gorillas regularly use tools. Also, why is it that the great apes are special? I think it's actually much more plausible that we share an ancestor with a bird, rather than great apes. At least, I'd like it to be that way. Then I'd realize I don't actually have arms and hands, but wings! Yay!

    1. Re:And.... by gr8dude · · Score: 1

      They meant that there are two types of tool use, not two instances of tool use in 10 years; i.e. there are many gorillas who do action A and action B, and thruought 10 years nobody noticed them doing action C with a stick.

      That's it.

  37. Re:Vancement by Doc+Ruby · · Score: 1

    Apes crap out seeds of the plants they prefer to eat, thereby modifying their environment to suit themselves, too. We're not that good at what we humans do, just better than the other animals. We get to name them, but they don't answer to our names. They probably think we're "dumb beasts", in our own way, and they're probably as right as we are about them.

    --

    --
    make install -not war

  38. Re:Worst... Title... EVAR... +Some real facts by CAIMLAS · · Score: 1

    That poor gorilla. That bitch wouldn't even let him eat!

    --
    ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
  39. Be-Fore-play. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    "That must have been some come-hither look she was giving him!"

    That wasn't a "come hither" look. That was a "Are you done already? Don't you dare roll over and fall asleep until I've had an orgasm".

  40. Cluster! by hellfire · · Score: 2, Funny

    You forgot the 1 comment wishing for a beowulf cluster of tool-using gorillas.

    --

    "All great wisdom is contained in .signature files"

  41. Obligatory Spaceballs Quote: by DeathByDuke · · Score: 1

    "Oh shit, there goes the planet"

  42. Re:Vancement by Pantero+Blanco · · Score: 1

    "'Advanced'? How are we more advanced?"

    We could eliminate them if we chose, and we can plan ahead to avoid disasters or to bend nature to our will in ways that they can't, at the moment, come close to imagining.

    If we were thrown back to the "ape's forest", some of us would survive, and civilization would rebuild itself to its current level long before apes had managed to advance significantly.

  43. Re:Here's a hint by Pantero+Blanco · · Score: 2, Informative

    Well, since he didn't really make any argument beyond saying that the article was wrong, and did so in an incredibly blunt manner, it's a flame at best. At worst, a troll targeting a (largely) atheistic/agnostic audience. If he'd said something more like "Well, you're assuming evolution is more than a theory..." there'd be some validity to your claim. (and, admittedly, you'd probably still be making it, because an offended atheist/agnostic would have modded his post down anyway)

  44. props, but... by bakerstreet · · Score: 1

    Props to the great apes, they continue to impress... as do the author's of Slashdot article titles.

    Not that I would download a newsgroup post with this title, or anything...

  45. Re:Worst... Title... EVAR... +Some real facts by Tablizer · · Score: 1

    [Wild Gorillas Impress With Their Tools... oh my, they do.] The average gorilla is about 1.5 inches *erect*. So, no... no they don't.

    We big? No wonder humans had to learn to walk upright

  46. Re:racoons by modecx · · Score: 1

    Where the heck do you live where racoons grow to 5 feet and 300 lbs?! Amazing.

    --
    Constitutional rights may be respected, repealed, or modified; but they must never be ignored.
  47. Re:Here's a hint by cdn2k1 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Evolution? Pssssh. Everyone knows we were created by the flying spaghetti monster.

  48. The Internet by NitsujTPU · · Score: 2, Funny

    Wild Gorillas Impress With Their Tools

    The Internet is just full of sickos, isn't it.

  49. Hopefully substantive by John+Hawks · · Score: 3, Interesting

    The interesting thing about gorillas is that they make tools quite readily in captivity, but hadn't yet been observed to use them in the wild. This would imply that their toolmaking facility was not actually a product of adaptation for toolmaking in their natural habitat.

    We could entertain a couple of hypotheses about this. Perhaps all apes share a common toolmaking ability shared from our common ancestors, which now is used in some lineages (humans, chimpanzees) but not extensively in others (gorillas). Or, which I think more likely, ape tool use draws upon other cognitive adaptations that are related to social learning and interactions, and actually using tools is a sometimes-beneficial side effect.

    In a related story this week, a group of experimenters found that chimpanzee social learning involves imitation of the techniques observed from other individuals, instead of merely copying the goals of those individuals. Chimps are conformists, in other words.

    From my weblog:

    Using this procedure, the experimenters introduced a device that would vend food to the chimpanzees. The device could be worked in either of two ways: by using a stick to lift a hook, or by using the same stick to poke a flap. The workings of the device inside are not visible from the outside, although both lifting and poking are always available to the chimpanzee using the device.
    The question is, when chimpanzees learn extractive foraging techniques, how much of the learning is direct imitation of the techniques they see others doing, and how much is emulative learning by individual experimentation?

    The results showed that even when the chimpanzees experimented with the apparatus themselves and learned both ways to get the food, they still tended to adopt the method that predominated in their group. I would guess that this trend toward learning the techniques in the group is important for learning social roles and interactions with other individuals.

    --John
  50. Re:Worst... Title... EVAR... +Some real facts by craXORjack · · Score: 3, Funny
    They ended up mating thirty-three times that day. It was so funny, because he kept that celery in his hand the whole time and never got a chance to eat it. At the end of the day he came inside and passed out with that sorry wilted stalk still clenched in his fist.

    Thirty three times and he still wouldn't give her a bite of his celery... Meanwhile, somewhere among the hairless apes, there is a male who has taken a female to dinner thirty three times and never even gotten to second base. Proof that the universe is in perfect balance.

    --
    Liberals call everyone Nazis yet they are the closest thing to it.
  51. Public Library of Science by phlosoft · · Score: 2, Informative

    Note that these findings are published in the freely available, creative commons licensed journal PLoS Biology:

    http://biology.plosjournals.org/perlserv/?request= get-document&doi=10.1371/journal.pbio.0030380

    Entire issues are offered as beautiful PDFs. From the PLoS site http://www.plosjournals.org/:

    PLoS publishes peer-reviewed, open-access scientific and medical journals that include original research as well as timely feature articles. All PLoS articles are immediately freely accessible online, deposited in the free public archive PubMed Central, and can be redistributed and reused according to the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution License.
  52. Re:racoons by HermanAB · · Score: 1

    Hell yeah, a racoon of that size would indeed be more scary than a baboon.

    --
    Oh well, what the hell...
  53. I'm not impressed by the walking stick, but by Phase+Shifter · · Score: 4, Insightful

    You have to admit the gorilla using a stick to determine the depth of water was impressive. Plenty of animals use tools, but how many use tools to make measurements?

    1. Re:I'm not impressed by the walking stick, but by mce · · Score: 2, Insightful
      Allow me, as I don't have mod points and your post is already at +5 anyway (and yet still being buried amongst all the blabber of the sexually obsessed zero-brains around here), to hereby express a "+1 insightfull" in a different way.

      I read about this in my local newspaper last night, and was thinking exactly the same thing. And not only that: the measurement she was taking was "indirect" and also included a reference to her self (or for those who consider that one should not use that word in this context: to her own body). It was not just a case of "is this stick longer than that piece of water is wide" (the lengths of which can easily be compare visually in one go), it was a case of "is this water deeper (something that can not be observed directly) than my body can tolerate without risking nasty consequences for myself". Really impressive.

  54. 2 cases in 10 years, that's pathetic by skeptictank · · Score: 1

    Birds routinely use tools as do monkeys. No wonder mountain gorillas are almost extinct.

  55. Slashdot, too... by neuroking · · Score: 1

    ... impresses with their tools.

    I thought this read "impresses with their stools", in some sort of poo flinging match to the death.

  56. Gorillas spoted using Apple by jessu · · Score: 1

    I have seen Gorrillas using Apple!.... Opps they were actually eating it...

    1. Re:Gorillas spoted using Apple by mikek3332002 · · Score: 1

      Well I guess M$, RIAA(eg hate iTMS), ..... like the fact some ones killing them[Apple] off.

      Though was a green apple, red, orange, or a pink apple?

  57. Re:Here's a hint by UniverseIsADoughnut · · Score: 1

    Ever see an incredible beautiful girl, who is also extremely smart and has a great sense of humor. That were hopefully we are evolving to.

    That or we will become a creature with an ass shaped like a lazy boy, and develop a secondary finger like feature on our hands that allows us to grasp a beer can while still able to use our fingers to work a remote.

  58. Re:Here's a hint by BRUTICUS · · Score: 1

    Hes acting as if evolution isn't what most people on this site would believe. But i'll bet you dollars to donuts that in reality he KNOWS what the average slashdotter believes. Therefore he is purposely stating his opinion that will make it flamebait. Dont blame the mod, blame the guy who made the comment with such "confidence".

  59. Re:Actually by utnow · · Score: 1

    Yeah... I'll admit that this is the first thing that crossed my mind when I saw that headline. My poor filthy mind.

  60. Hmf by Now.Imperfect · · Score: 1

    well I for one welcome our new ape overlords.

  61. hope creationists learn something from this by efuzzyone · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I hope creationists read this and learn something from it, so that they stop confusing young minds.

    --
    Creativity uninhibited www.kreeti.com
    1. Re:hope creationists learn something from this by go_gadget · · Score: 1

      Instead I guess that you propose to give them hope in life by reminding them that they are rearranged pond-scum ... talk about confusing young minds!

      Seriously - Is the observation that an creatures behaviour a reflection on aquired skills really evolution - I think not.

      Animals learn things, often through trial and error, how many people have a dog/cat which goes through the dog/cat door?

      Why not try and support evolution with real evidence instead of just poor science and storytelling

  62. Re:Atheisism: The latest hate group. by IllForgetMyNickSoonA · · Score: 1

    There is a big difference between being "open minded" and being willing to accept a vague theory based on nothing but a set of very old manuscripts.

  63. Reality Check by TheNarrator · · Score: 1

    Let's blow some Karma!

    To all the people who will be offended by the following, remember, if you read it and can understand it YOU ARE NOT A GORILLA and it doesn't apply to you. If you go and translate this into simplified sign language for Koko I am going to be somewhat upset at you and I really don't care what Koko thinks just as long as you are the one who pays for her bananas.

    Yipppppppeeee! Now we can grant Gorillas human rights because the only thing that seperates humans from pond scum is that we are cute and that we use tools!!!! Kittens and Puppies are cute so we grant them half human rights, meaning that we don't eat them (Don't tell the Koreans or the Chinese about the not eating doggies thing they might get pissed). Mice are not cute so we can use them for scientific experiments! Gorillas are cute and use tools so we have to give them human rights! Now that we gave them human rights we have to come up with a politically correct name for Gorillas, I think Gorilla is too speciesist. Why don't we call them differently evolved intelligences (DEI). Next week we can sign the Americans with DEI act which requires that all jobs must offer free bananas and not discriminate based on your type of intelligence and that the only requirement for getting a job is that your species has been proven to use tools! We can register them to vote and use hand signals to teach them which party will offer them more bananas. One grunt is Republican, two grunts is Democrat, Eating a banana and/or parading around with an erection while female gorillas are present is considered a green party vote. Next we can pass the DEI human marriage act, give them gorilla reservations and pay them reperations in Bananas, to make amends for the 100s of years that the inhabitants of Sub-Saharan Africa have been hunting and eating them.

    Remember folks. The above does not apply to you. YOU ARE NOT A GORILLA! If you think you are a gorilla please seek mental help immediately.

    But seriously folks, Just say NO to bad memes like
    deep ecology. Humans are special :).

    1. Re:Reality Check by killjoe · · Score: 1

      Let me guess. God created the animals to serve us, amuse us, and to feed us right?

      --
      evil is as evil does
    2. Re:Reality Check by TheNarrator · · Score: 1

      No actually The Deep Ecology Gaia Earth Mother created us to serve, amuse and feed the AIDS, Ghonorrea, and Herpes viruses and to be plant food when we die.

      BTW, the above is not serious, it's just throwing your nonsensical argument back at you.

      BTW, I'm a strong atheist, I believe God, Gaia, Flying Spaghetti Monster, and all other logic defying supernatural beings are IMPOSSIBLE.

    3. Re:Reality Check by TheNarrator · · Score: 1

      Oh yeah, one more thing. I think deep ecologists are essentially solopsitic in that they act like the whole world was created the day they were born and they somehow must drive their suv around to every corner of the globe to protect it when in reality the whole reason they can think about anything besides what they're going to eat next and where they're going to get fresh water and live beyond the age of 18 is because of thousands of years of people thinking that they were special and above the animals. Now the native americans are wonderful people, but their history makes a great example of why deep ecologists are living in fantasy land. Look at the native americans, no domestic animals, the Europeans come over and since they'd been living with domestic animals for thousands of years they got all the really bad diseases from them and have built up immunity. They show up in the new world with the sniffles, measels, small pox and just through regular contact the diseases spread out and kills 98% of the native population. There are stories of explorers showing up at native american villages and nobody's there and the whole place is filled with skeletons. Now explain that to me in deep ecological terms. Would you rather be a native american living with the land, and not harboring animals, and have a 98% chance of dying after you contracted just about any european disease. Or a European who had tortured and slaughtered animals for years and where destined to inherit the earth because of this? If "nature" (gaia or whatever) is playing favorites which one do you think nature favored?

    4. Re:Reality Check by killjoe · · Score: 1

      You realize that ecology and environmentalism has nothing to do with god right?

      --
      evil is as evil does
    5. Re:Reality Check by killjoe · · Score: 1

      Deep ecologists are driving SUVs? I think you are severly confused there buddy.

      Your hatred of the environmentalists is clouding your vision. You have no idea what they are saying or what they are advocating or why. You simply have a kneejerk reaction to people who think different then you and you are railing against what you think they are saying without paying attention to what they are actually saying.

      We are all going to die sooner or later, every single human being will be wiped out one day just like the dinasours are. After millions of years the dinasaurs were wiped out. Too bad for the dinasaurs but the earth wasn't effected all that much. The same thing will happen with humans. We will be gone but the earth won't even notice.

      Environmentalism is about making our lives better and our children's lives better. The reason the air in LA is cleaner today then it was 10 years ago wasn't because the industrialists and the capitalists decided not to polute anymore it was because the environmentalists complained loudly enough. People like you fought them every step of the way but you guys lost that one. Because you lost the air in LA is cleaner and people are a little bit healthier.

      That's one small battle and you lost that one but you guys win much more then you lose so don't feel bad. The worlds environment is on a downward spiral and for that you can be proud I guess.

      Go kill some hippies today, I am sure it will make you feel much better about yourself.

      --
      evil is as evil does
    6. Re:Reality Check by databyss · · Score: 1

      "Environmentalism is about making our lives better and our children's lives better."

      Exactly. So Egotistical

      --
      Hmmm witty sig or funny sig? Maybe elitest techy sig!
    7. Re:Reality Check by TheNarrator · · Score: 1

      Environmentalism is about making our lives better and our children's lives better.

      This is what deep ecologists call the Anthropocentric view and is what distinguishes Shallow Ecology from Deep Ecology.

      Wikipedia Reference
      Marshall's conservation ethics looks only at the worth of the environment in terms of its utility or usefulness to humans. It is the opposite of deep ecology, hence is often refereed to as shallow ecology, and argues for the preservation of the environment on the basis that it has extrinsic value - instrumental to the welfare of human beings. Conservation is therefore a means to an end and purely concerned with mankind and intergenerational considerations. It could be argued that it is this ethic that formed the underlying arguments proposed by Governments at the Kyoto summit in 1997 and three agreements reached in Rio in 1992.

      I'm all for shallow ecology. Deep ecology is something different all together and is quite misanthropic.

  64. They didn't need to go to the jungle to see this by gregux · · Score: 3, Funny
    The most astonishing thing is that we have observed them using tools not for obtaining food, but for postural support.
    Drive past any highway repair crew and there will be at least one guy leaning on a shovel.
    --
    The three most important words in a relationship are "I love you." The two most important are "Humor me."
  65. Re:Atheisism: The latest hate group. by BobTheAtheist · · Score: 1

    Read the sig.

    --
    -- You're too stupid to be an atheist.
  66. And just think.. somewhere.. by plasmacutter · · Score: 1

    There are aliens staring at footage of us and saying things precisely along the lines of this article.

    --
    VLC FOR MAC IS DYING! IF YOU DEVELOP, PLEASE SAVE IT!!
    1. Re:And just think.. somewhere.. by CardiganKiller · · Score: 1

      Either that or they still haven't figured out how to make tools for postural support.

  67. Re:Here's a hint by werewolf1031 · · Score: 1

    Therefore he is purposely stating his opinion that will make it flamebait.

    Wait... lemme get this straight. You're saying that stating an opinion that is assumed to be counter to the opinions of the majority is legitimate grounds for being modded as Flamebait? In other words, it's perfectly fine for a moderator to use mod points to shut out opinions with which he/she disagrees, or believes will offend the sensibilities of most /.ers.

    You, sir, are a tard. That is not how the Flamebait moderation is defined. It was, however, used in the proper manner in this case, only not for the reasons you seem to believe (or more accurately, would like to believe). That's like saying "don't you dare post here if you disagree with us!"

    This is an open forum. Anyone may join and contribute to the discussions as long as they behave themselves. Intelligent debates are encouraged. This means that you will occasionally be exposed to opinions with which you strongly disagree. If you don't like it, you're just as free to post a counter-argument. Attack the argument, not the person.

  68. of course by albeit+unknown · · Score: 4, Funny

    They use chairs as a tool. An alpha male will throw a chair at a beta male leaving for another tribe.

  69. Re:Worst... Title... EVAR... +Some real facts by bsartist · · Score: 4, Funny

    That last sentence... is he talking about the celery?

    --
    Lost: Sig, white with black letters. No collar. Reward if found!
  70. My neighbours cat... by rossi · · Score: 1

    Everyday he jumps the fence, comes into the garden, digs a hole and has a pi55 in it. So what's that got to do with this thread? He uses my shovel!

    <lol>

    --
    I want to meet the guy who invented beer and see whats he's up to now.
  71. Don't forget about other animals by bstocker · · Score: 1

    Especially ravens. They not only use tools, they also build and enhance them. According to the german "Welt am Sonntag", crows even have an idea of the material they use. This makes them even more efficient than chimps.

  72. "Impress"? by Jesus+2.0 · · Score: 1

    Impress who?

    A walking stick? Pffft. I can use a walking stick.

  73. showing off by tinkerton · · Score: 1

    the article doesn't talk about 'posturing' as in showing off,
    but about 'postural support' as in crutches.

    The world isn't ready yet for geek gorrillas.

  74. Re:Here's a hint by daniil · · Score: 1

    Ever see an incredible beautiful girl, who is also extremely smart and has a great sense of humor. That were hopefully we are evolving to.

    Admit it, you're saying this only because you would liked to have been born an Elf instead of this silly Human :H
    --
    Man is a slave because freedom is difficult, whereas slavery is easy.
  75. Let us extrapolate by gr8dude · · Score: 1

    What if years pass and gorillas [or other primates] become more advanced, developing hunting weapons; gathering into groups and building sheds, then simple houses; meanwhile they master fire; and so on.

    In other words, what if something speeds up their evolution process, and we - humans realize that if they keep it that way, they will 'step on our territory'. What will our actions B?

    [a] Eliminate them right away
    [b] Cooperate with them by helping them build more reliable huts, more efficient tools
    [c] Ignore them

    * who gives us the right to go for [a]?
    * what is the ultimate goal of [b]? If we do that, they WILL step on our territory, ask for more, etc... If we do that just for fun, so that our kids can see some 'cool stuff', then why not just go for [a]?
    * taking the [c] approach means that we have no possibility to influence the outcome. So certainly, ignoring this 'civilization' is not an option.

    And one more thing, it is obvious that the apes won't start breaking our doors, taking the keyboard away in order to check their email or open our fridges to get some food... So they're not _our_ competitors. On the other hand, I believe pigmeys and other primitive tribes will see a problem with that.

    So let me reformulate: How will the react if apes get more advanced?

    Let the extrapolation begin! :-)

    1. Re:Let us extrapolate by gr8dude · · Score: 1

      hmm.. it seems that all the stuff in angular brackets was removed. :|

      So here we go again: How will pigmeys and the others react if apes get more advanced?

    2. Re:Let us extrapolate by efuzzyone · · Score: 1

      This is offensive piece of crap, what do you guys mean? Pygmies are humans like us, not an inferior race. They are as closely(or distantly) related to apes, as any of the person reading/writing to this thread is.

      --
      Creativity uninhibited www.kreeti.com
    3. Re:Let us extrapolate by gr8dude · · Score: 1

      You're right, but since they live near those creatures, they're more likely to interact with them than we are.

      In the previous message, 'primitive' meant 'technologically not advanced'.

  76. Re:Worst... Title... EVAR... +Some real facts by nih · · Score: 1

    At the end of the day he came inside and passed out with that sorry wilted stalk still clenched in his fist

    damn, after all that he still wanted more!

    --
    I'm a rabbit startled by the headlights of life :(
  77. Great by bhalo05 · · Score: 1

    Has been the black monolith found?

  78. Re:Worst... Title... EVAR... +Some real facts by Idealius · · Score: 1

    I have OT karma to spend on my ego.

    9 is my all time in one day. I was 19.

    When we woke up the next day and she was leaving to go home she said g'bye and I started singing 'LIKE A VIRRRGIN...TOUCHED FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME'

    What? It seemed appropriate.

  79. Re:Worst... Title... EVAR... +Some real facts by dancingmad · · Score: 2, Funny

    sorry wilted stalk still clenched in his fist

    I bet he did!!

    --
    "There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter," Jeeves, (Jeeves and the Impending Doom)
  80. In Korea... by lxs · · Score: 1

    ...walking sticks are for old gorillas.

  81. Big Deal by m0rphm0nkey · · Score: 1

    I've seen film footage of a bird manipulating a piece of wire to create a custom tool which the bird then used to solve a problem. Near as I can tell and from what I've seen some birds are smarter than Gorillas. But then I guess you don't see too many Gorillas smashing into plate glass windows at 30 MPH either. m

  82. Re:Vancement by dickko · · Score: 1
    ...and we can plan ahead to avoid disasters...

    I would have thought the recent events in the USA (Katrina) and Asia (Tsunami) over the last 12 months would be more than enough proof that we humans aren't that flash at predicting/preventing disasters

    The original poster is correct, stick a typical human in a gorilla's natural environment and they're screwed.

  83. LIES!!! SATANIC LIES!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    This is just another example of the extreme activist scientists pushing their satanic lies of "evolution" down our throats. You see an ape with a stick and you think evolution? HELLO PEOPLE! God made the world in 7 DAYS! God made MAN. God made APES. APES did NOT make MAN!!!

    You need to crack open your Holy Bible and repent for this transgression against God almighty! It is through HIS Intelligent Design of the world that you exist!!!

  84. Re:But... Genetically designed by space aliens? by fimbulvetr · · Score: 1

    ramen brother, ramen.

  85. Read it and weep. by NeoBeans · · Score: 1
    Well, if porn is an indicator, monkeys already have that. :-)

    (The article is appropriately titled -- "Monkeys Pay to See Female Monkey Bottoms")

    1. Re:Read it and weep. by Tablizer · · Score: 1

      Okay, but they are using human-built porn systems

  86. Re:Worst... Title... EVAR... +Some real facts by lawpoop · · Score: 2, Interesting
    Well, this makes sense. With Gorillas, one dominant male controls a whole harem of females. He doesn't necessarily impregnate them all, but he certainly controls who mates with them. Because male gorillas don't have to compete with one another as far as mating (they only compete in 'tough man' competitions to control harems), they have small penises, testicles, and sperm counts, relative to their promiscuous human and chimpanzee cousins.

    In the instance described above, it sounds like the female wanted to ensure that she got the little bit of sperm that the dominant male was producing, and that no other female got it.

    --
    Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
    -- Pablo Picasso
  87. Re:But... Genetically designed by space aliens? by operagost · · Score: 1

    We have little more proof of creation by an omnipotent being (the same kind of proof that indicates Julius Caesar, Socrates, and Hammurabi existed) than in creation by an alien race. Unless of course, you ask a Mormon ...

    --

    Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
  88. Re:Here's a hint by benjcurry · · Score: 1

    Luckily, the original poster's opinion had nothing to do with science!

  89. Re:Atheisism: The latest hate group. by benjcurry · · Score: 1

    Sorry, but the analogy doesn't work. It should be: it's easier to convince a KKK member to love blacks than it is to convince an atheist to love religous folk...which is plainly false. The issue around this type of opinion (Intelligent Design, etc.) is that Slashdot is a supposedly sci/tech website. This is a sci/tech-related article and to bring up a viewpoint which is religious (as intelligent design is..heed not those who tell you it's scientific) is, indeed, flamebait. I have my own beliefs that exist independently of science and if an article is posted where it could be considered warranted, I will feel no hesitation to enlighten you with them. ;)

  90. HAHAHA! (Almost messed me up...) by Sr.+Pato · · Score: 1

    Omfg, I was waiting for a call (working at a tech-support call center), and right when I opened that and started laughing histerically, a call came in. Poor customer had no idea what the hell was going on...
    Me: "Uh.. *mute*HAHAHAHA*unmute* Thank... Thank you.. hehe.. for*mute*HAHAHAHAHA*unmute* calling... the... *mute*"...

    --
    Nobody's gay for Mole-Man. :-(
  91. Re:Here's a hint by mkro · · Score: 2, Funny
    Humans didn't "evolve" from anything, and certainly not apes. Give me a break!
    Whoa, guys! Check it out! This one can type!
    --
    I shall go and tell the indestructible man that someone plans to murder him.
  92. Re:Here's a hint by BRUTICUS · · Score: 1

    Its not BECAUSE of his opinion, its fine to state your opinion. But stating your opinion in a manner that's surely going to garner FLAMING? In a manner that's asking for flames? That's flamebait.

    The guy clearly knew he was gonna get flamed for stating it in that manner.

  93. What Really Impressed the.. by Lord+Flipper · · Score: 1

    ...scientific observer types, was the 'tool', they expected to see a rock used as a hammer, or something similar... so when the gorilla busted out a Black & Decker cordless drill, and then changed the friggin' bit on it, well, you can imagine the astonishment, eh? The Creationists responsible for 'spin', or 'new' science, have their work cut out for them, no doubt about it.

  94. Re:Atheisism: The latest hate group. by IllForgetMyNickSoonA · · Score: 1

    The post I was replying to was talking about how close-minded atheists are, because they refuse to acknowledge the existence of god.

    The religion as a such (every religion, not only the currently most widely spread ones) is, at best, a vague theory, based on some old tales, which eventually got written down. Today, all religions that I know of have some sorts of such presumeably old manuscripts, describing its' fundamentals. In the case of Christianity, those manuscripts eventually got printed in a book called "The Bible", which is since being printed and distributed around the world, mainly to the poor and uneducated, for fun and for (great) profit.

    Please note that I explicitely said manuscripts, not documents. A manuscript can be just about anything - a fairytale, a technical paper, or, for example, a musical composition.

    If your religious feelings were hurt by my post, then say so, and I'll apology for my choice of words. No need to try to twist and ridicule my article instead by putting arbitrary parts of it in quotes ("vague"), adding adjectives I never used and then also quoting them ("historical"), and replacing some of my words by another (manuscripts vs. documents)

  95. Re:Worst... Title... EVAR... +Some real facts by Idealius · · Score: 1

    Honestly, I don't care.

    But when a rumor was floating around in my family that I was a bad lover (I know, weird family, was caused by a pedantic friend) and I told them of my 9 times conquest they were stunned.

    So the fact that you don't believe me over the Internet doesn't suprise me at all.

    Either way, I had fun.