The Star Wars Christmas Special Still Exists

rapturizer noted the critical news that "Fans of "Star Wars" have a chance to see a free screening of the notoriously bad 'Star Wars Holiday Special' next week in Minneapolis." Nothing brings out the Christmas spirit like watching what may very well be the worst TV ever produced. Sadly however, I'm not sure that this is the worst *Star Wars* merch ever made.

Comments

The worst TV eh?

[Anonymous Coward]

Is it an Insignia?

Obviously the template

[Goodl]

for the notoriously bad prequels, you could see it all coming I tells ya

Re:Obviously the template

[Wowsers]

Notoriously bad*? Did Lucas do something like clean up the picture then add characters into the original to change the plot of certain scenes, thus ruining the original?

* I am not a SW "fan", and have not seen this "special", only that Weird Al Yankovic knows of it in the video "White and Nerdy".

Re:Obviously the template

[Shakrai]

for the notoriously bad prequels

Don't worry, Lucas fixed it up this time. All of the blasters and light-sabers have been replaced by walkie-talkies and Santa shoots first.

Re:Obviously the template

[commodore64_love]

It would be nice if Lucas released a Special Edition of Episode I that had Jar-Jar Binks excised. Or if that's not possible, redub his voice so he sounds normal instead of racist.

Re:Obviously the template

[Anonymous Coward]

Eps 1-3 and the clone wars animated film were works of art on par with The Ring Cycle by comparison with the holiday special, and trust me, that's not praise.

Re:Obviously the template

[Anonymous Coward]

I hope Santa was wearing protection.

Re:Obviously the template

[biryokumaru]

Notoriously bad?

I actually kind of liked the Star Wars Holiday Special with the, what was it? The Festival of Life? And the Wookie family. I thought it was pretty neat, personally. I don't know why everyone is so down on it.

Especially in contrast to the new movies.

Not really the new Star Wars movies. Like, Twilight. That had to be, by a wide margin, the worst film I have ever seen. That anyone has ever seen. Acting, directing, writing. All of it was excruciatingly bad. I really don't know why people are so down on this holiday special thing when there are much worse films out there.

Re:Obviously the template

[Anonymous Coward]

There is a fan edit which is very well done and does exactly what you are asking for http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Phantom_Edit [wikipedia.org]

Re:Obviously the template

[Dadamh]

People are down on it not because of objective badness, but because of badness tied to a well-loved series.

Most sane people that aren't teenaged girls didn't expect much from Twilight, and it wasn't an established movie series.

Star Wars, however, was an established canon that was well-loved, and the holiday special was awful. It was a disappointment.

That's all it is really.

Re:Obviously the template

[thedudethedude]

The biggest mistake is denying a mistake.

Re:Obviously the template

[Anonymous Coward]

> Star Wars, however, was an established canon that was well-loved, and the holiday special was awful. It was a disappointment.

Well, kinda. There was only the original "Star Wars" in 1978 when the Holiday Special aired - and it didn't have no friggin "Episode IV" in the crawl, either!

Re:Obviously the template

[tg123]

Notoriously bad?

I actually kind of liked the Star Wars Holiday Special with the, what was it? The Festival of Life? And the Wookie family. I thought it was pretty neat, personally. I don't know why everyone is so down on it.....

You have not seen it have you.

I had the misfortune of watching this during a "bad films theme night" at the cinema.
Its Wookie grunting for Half the show and a little kid Wookie that you want to strangle.

Jefferson Airplane play some songs.

Han Solo and Chewee make an appearance and last but not least Luke Skywalker shows up.

The Luke Skywalker appearance is the most interesting part as his face is caked in makeup - think Geisha and then double it.

Mark Hamill was recovering from a car crash which led to him having plastic surgery to repair his face.

http://www.democraticwings.com/democraticwings/archives/civil_liberties/003133.php

Re:Obviously the template

[operagost]

Racist? I didn't realize you could be racist against a fictional species. I mean, I don't think Gungans even have race; they all seem to have the same basic body type and skin color. Jar Jar says "meesa" a lot, but I assumed that was brain damage.

Re:Obviously the template

[biryokumaru]

I have seen it and I honestly didn't think it was all that bad. It was markedly less painful than, say, watching Metropolis with the original subtitles. That is torturous.

Re:Obviously the template

[pnewhook]

I agree. Racist? How is that possibly racist?

Re:Obviously the template

[frenchgates]

Are you a performance artist trying to conclusively prove that there is no absolute standard for "bad" in matters of taste? I mean if we can't all agree that the Star Wars Holiday Special is perhaps the most purely horrible, terrible, awful, so awful it sort of transcends itself and can be enjoyed ironically thing in the known universe of culture, then I have little hope for our species.

Re:Obviously the template

[Anonymous Coward]

The only way Lucas could fix this is by digitally replacing it with Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Re:Obviously the template

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm totally serious. On the standard of "Star Wars" it was pretty bad, maybe, but on the standard of "Holiday Specials" it was decently middling.

Re:Obviously the template

[jareth-0205]

Not really the new Star Wars movies. Like, Twilight.

I'm afraid it's all to do with the Geek Girl...

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/moviebob/6797-Twilight-of-the-She-Geeks

Re:Obviously the template

[frenchgates]

Wow. Well, this is proof of the old saying - can't remember it exactly - something like "There's no idea so bizarre that it doesn't have its own constituency." Internet comment streams make that all too clear. On the other hand this really helps explain why there are fans of Ewoks and the Prequels.

Re:Obviously the template

[biryokumaru]

Oh my god, why does it keep posting my comments as anonymous coward!?

Re:Obviously the template

[iluvcapra]

Metropolis was a silent film, there are no "subtitles".

So, at what point did you realize this show wasn't so bad?

• When Art Carney clearly flubs a line ("I have yer uh... Whatsit... Uh... Thingamabob... Mind evaporator! Yes that!") and it becomes obvious from his entire performance that he was refusing to do retakes.
• When Diahnne Carrol plays a wookiee mermaid pornstar?
• When Carrie Fisher is clearly on blow, judging from her tripping over her scenery and her eye dialation?
• When Harvey Korman plays a 4-armed Julia Child bit that is clearly half a page on the script for 10 MINUTES!
• When Bea Arthus sings, and then forgets the last verse of her song and lalalas it?
• When Harvey Korman plays a robot who needs a oilcan reading stereo instructions. Again for 10 minutes.
• Carrie, still rather high, sings a Christmas song arranged to the Star Wars theme, and doesn't hit any of her high notes.

I dunno boss, I hosted a screening party for this last week and while the best we could say about it was that it was educational about 70s variety shows, and actually is pretty heavy for little kids, it really doesn't pass muster as "entertainment."

Re:Obviously the template

[LordSnooty]

This can't be right, I've seen new Dr Who

Re:Obviously the template

[MBaldelli]

Its Wookie grunting for Half the show and a little kid Wookie that you want to strangle.

Jefferson Airplane play some songs.

Han Solo and Chewee make an appearance and last but not least Luke Skywalker shows up.

The Luke Skywalker appearance is the most interesting part as his face is caked in makeup - think Geisha and then double it.

Mark Hamill was recovering from a car crash which led to him having plastic surgery to repair his face.

Singing!!!! How can you forget the singing?!? My ears begin bleeding profusely at the mere remembrance of it!!!

Re:Obviously the template

[biryokumaru]

What do you call those little frames with the German gibberish in between scenes? I just called'em subtitles, but I imagine there's a more exact term.

Re:Obviously the template

[ground.zero.612]

I agree. Racist? How is that possibly racist?

Woosh? Gungans (particularly their Ebonics) showed George Lucas racist sentiments toward uneducated black Americans.

Re:Obviously the template

[jbezorg]

So, on the lower end of the full quality scale you've defined a range and within that range, the special manages to be average. "decently middling" as you put it. So I take it that you may be inclined to say that the Special epitomizes the content within that range?

Or, as I would put it, you could say that the Special defines "sucks"

Re:Obviously the template

[Stupid McStupidson]

"There's no idea so bizarre that it doesn't have its own constituency."

That's the nicest way I've ever heard Rule#34 stated. Also.... I'm old enough to have seen the special when it aired. I was 7 and understood then, as it was happening, that it was horrible.

Re:Obviously the template

[Jesus_666]

Okay, you've got me interested. I'm definitely looking forward to Twilight coming on German free-TV now so I can riff it with friends.

I definitely expect some extremely bad stuff here, though. If Twilight isn't worse than The Core, Battlefield Earth and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians I'm going to be disappointed.

Re:Obviously the template

[iluvcapra]

"Intertitles" or "title cards"... "subtitles" are translations of spoken dialogue only. As it is, Metropolis is pretty thin on cards of any language. If you want an unbearable experience, try watching Merropolis with the Giorgio Moroder rock opera score.

Re:Obviously the template

[pnewhook]

Woosh? Gungans (particularly their Ebonics) showed George Lucas racist sentiments toward uneducated black Americans.

I've never heard of this before. Who came up with that bullshit interpretation?

What's next? Because Yoda doesn't speak with correct grammar he's somehow racist too?

Give me a break.

Re:Obviously the template

[biryokumaru]

I liked Battlefield Earth...

Re:Obviously the template

[tg123]

Singing!!!! How can you forget the singing?!? My ears begin bleeding profusely at the mere remembrance of it!!!

I think I was a sleep - the Wookie grunting did it I tell you.

Re:Obviously the template

[biryokumaru]

Actually, that sounds awesome!

Re:Obviously the template

[Dripdry]

Objective badness? Are you kidding me?

My girlfriend and I do enjoy some bad movies, we attend B-Fest each year, and have a collection. We tried to watch about 15 minutes of the beginning of the holiday special, and we were in such awe of the massive idiocy of the acting, the script, the entire idea, that we were in complete agreement with the xkcd comic about this.

The kid that's doing this is about to commit social suicide. This special isn't just bad, it makes me want to hurt myself it's so bad.

Re:Obviously the template

[wcb4]

I played this special last year for my (then) 5 year old son who is a Star Wars freak (probably knows almost as much as the old man, and when I told him that one day, he simply replied "Now *I* am the master" ). About 20 minutes into the show, he came to me and asked me to turn it off. Asked me if I could put something else, anything else on tv. It was that bad.

Re:Obviously the template

[Anonymous Coward]

Mark Hamill was recovering from a car crash which led to him having plastic surgery to repair his face.

Hamill had this to say about that:

"I had the accident way before Star Wars came out, but what really happened has been terribly distorted. I broke my nose, that's it! But I've read accounts about how my face has been reconstructed with plastic surgery, and how I was pulling myself along the highway with one arm looking for help. I even heard that I drove off a cliff! That's the best one of all."

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000434/bio

Re:Obviously the template

[h4rm0ny]

His accent sounds Jamaican. He is a figure of fun (admittedly not a very fun one, but that's what he was obviously intended to be). His accent is one of the things you're supposed to laugh at. Given that it sounds like a real accent, that makes it racist, imo. Now Black does not equal Jamaican, but Jamaican mostly means black, hence the issue.

Re:Obviously the template

[Chyeld]

To be fair, the cartoon where Boba Fett is first introduced to the world was interesting, in retrospect at least.

Re:Obviously the template

[interploy]

Lucas could replace him with a two-way radio. He'd be less threatening then and I doubt anyone could tell the difference.

Re:Obviously the template

[eleuthero]

In that he was trying to create an analog of a stereotypically laid-back sea-going culture, how is directly linking it to the stereotypical Jamaican accent racist in a negative sense? Sci fi is all about taking the normal, real world cultures and throwing them into a new setting to explore other possibilities. By creating the direct linkage, Lucas allows viewers to more readily understand his analogy.

Re:Obviously the template

[iluvcapra]

There is a definite "interesting" effect to the whole thing, particularly if you get a version with the ads, for the Ladies Garment Workers Union, and GM and Whirlpool all basically guilting people into buying American, and a TV spot for Animal House.

It's also fun to see what Bruce Villanch (that guy who took over CHarles Nelson Reilly's spot in Hollywood Squares) and Pat Proft (that guy who wrote the Police Academy and Scary Movie movies) were doing in 1978 (writing Star Wars variety shows, apparently), and to see some of the choreography of David Winters (later to direct that MST3K favorite, Space Mutiny).

Re:Obviously the template

[interploy]

And before I get flamed, yes I know ET was a Spielberg movie, but ILM did the special effects on the 20th anniv. edition.

Re:Obviously the template

[__aapspi39]

you have to be joking right? - either that or maybe you should move over to the story about a certain type of person testing software for large companies..? i reckon you could shed some light on the matter.

http://science.slashdot.org/story/09/12/09/175245/Company-Trains-the-Autistic-To-Test-Software?from=rss&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Slashdot%2Fslashdot+(Slashdot)

Re:Obviously the template

[h4rm0ny]

Leaving aside issues of whether it is good to propagate stereotypes of cultures at all, Jar-Jar was a character designed to be laughed at, to be stupid, to get his tongue stuck to racing cars and to be saved by the Jedi. Now if one character in a set of racial-cultural analogues is an idiot, well every race under the Sun has its share or idiots and geniuses: being unprejudiced is about judging people for who they are, not some stereotype. But when all representatives of that racial-cultural analogue are bumbling fuckers that you wish had never been scripted, then that suggests racism. You don't see any people talking with an educated American accent falling over in surprise or running like a puppet that just stood on a spider.

Re:Obviously the template

[axl917]

Still with the "Phantom Menace is racist" BS?

End yourself, please.

Re:Obviously the template

[pnewhook]

No I'm not joking. I honestly do not see the racial connection with Jar Jar.

And the fact that I don't see racism everywhere is no reason to try and insult me.

Re:Obviously the template

[pnewhook]

His accent sounds Jamaican

Two of my closest friends are Jamaican - Jar Jar does NOT sound Jamaican.

Re:Obviously the template

[Mister Whirly]

Yeah, his 2 minute animated segment is really the only thing worth watching on the whole special. And I LOVE all things Star Wars. I remember watching this on network tv when it originally came out, and my nostalgia laced memory didn't remember it being that awful. Until I watched it again a few years ago and realized just how awful it actually was. But then again I also used to love the Dukes of Hazzard and think Sccoby Doo was pretty clever as well.

Re:Obviously the template

[pnewhook]

What jackass rated my parent post as a Troll? It's an honest question and I don't see why it would be labeled as Troll.

Re:Obviously the template

[eleuthero]

It has been a while since I saw the film, but Jar-Jar struck me as the only bumbling idiot in the film - he took the place of the fully constructed c3p0.

The other Gungans had a carefree and somewhat absurd existence but their military strategy actually made some sense (apart from being outnumbered heavily). Further, they were to fill the place of the oppressed native in the midst of a war between two sets of colonizers (the human Naboo and the Trade Fed).

For such, you need a culture that is laid back and comparatively "lower" on the tech scale--again, while are certainly other choices, Lucas needed a people group with a different accent than General American English to illustrate this in an auditory fashion. He could just as easily have chosen a South African accent, an Indian accent, or even, though this would have had less effect, IMHO, a Chinese analog accent. The racism charge might still be applied, but I do not see much of a way around choosing a non-standard English accent from a former colony to achieve in an audible fashion what was achieved on screen in a visual fashion.

Re:Obviously the template

[stm2]

The flying master of Anakin (don't remember his name now) a "troyariam" or something like this, was criticized because racism against jews. (for his nose, and that he always wanted money).
I think racism in this case ir like p0rn, it is in the eye of the observer.

Re:Obviously the template

[h4rm0ny]

You weren't a troll. The whole thread, about five posts in a row was troll modded. There have been a few cases of that. Somebody said that some bunch of idiots (or maybe just one) are trying to mod whole sequences of posts troll. Seem to have been modded up again now. I had a few posts the other day modded as Overrated when they hadn't even been modded up in the first place.

Re:Obviously the template

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah they should get a white guy to do his voice.

Re:Obviously the template

[Anonymous Coward]

There are a number of fan edits out there. My personal favorite is The Balance of the Force. It manages to decrease the exponation of Jar-Jar while still giving a cohesive story. By "jamming" the non-human voices it is also able to significantly improve the quality of the plot. Unlike the original movie, this one is actually worth the time.

Re:Obviously the template

[ozbird]

... a "troyariam" or something like this

An Oyveyian.

Re:Obviously the template

[cayenne8]

"No I'm not joking. I honestly do not see the racial connection with Jar Jar.

And the fact that I don't see racism everywhere is no reason to try and insult me."

I agree. I mean, no, I didn't car for JJ either, but, I never saw anything racist about him either. I think some people just go outta their way trying to see racism in everything, and with everyone trying to not see color, I think trying to find it in everything hinders that cause.

Re:Obviously the template

[Kiaser Zohsay]

I was eleven. I sort of remember thinking that trying to make up words to go with an orchestral movie score was a bad idea. I would have said "oh, no they didn't" if anybody had been saying that back then.

Re:Obviously the template

[BenEnglishAtHome]

Some posts are overrated at the default posting level. Now, I figure that means they should attract a "Troll" mod or one of the other negatives but I'm not going to assume that anyone who puts "Overrated" on a previously unrated post is up to no good. Maybe they just couldn't see anything else that fit the particular sort of problems they saw in your post.

I'm just sayin...

Re:Obviously the template

[Opportunist]

It's especially interesting when a show is so boring that people see the ads between them as the more interesting feature.

Re:Obviously the template

[Opportunist]

Luke, be a Jedi toniiiiiight, just be a Jedi toniiiiiight.....

(I know it's not from the SWHS, but I'm sure people on /. will know it)

Re:Obviously the template

[shark72]

"I've never heard of this before. Who came up with that bullshit interpretation?"

A few people did at the time. A few are listed here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jar_Jar_Binks#Allegations_of_racial_caricature

This issue was revisited with the latest Transformer film; a couple of the robots were seen to be racist caricatures and allusions were made to the Jar Jar controversy. Googling "jar-jar racist" will give you more background if you're interested. You obviously strongly disgree -- as do many people -- but this does not discount the fact that there was a raging controversy at the time.

"What's next? Because Yoda doesn't speak with correct grammar he's somehow racist too?"

I'll take this question at face value. There was no similar discussion of Yoda's accent that I recall. This is because Jar-Jar's accent was seen by many to be patterned after racist caricatures; Yoda's had no such similarities.

Re:Obviously the template

[ground.zero.612]

"I've never heard of this before. Who came up with that bullshit interpretation?"

A few people did at the time. A few are listed here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jar_Jar_Binks#Allegations_of_racial_caricature

This issue was revisited with the latest Transformer film; a couple of the robots were seen to be racist caricatures and allusions were made to the Jar Jar controversy. Googling "jar-jar racist" will give you more background if you're interested. You obviously strongly disgree -- as do many people -- but this does not discount the fact that there was a raging controversy at the time.

"What's next? Because Yoda doesn't speak with correct grammar he's somehow racist too?"

I'll take this question at face value. There was no similar discussion of Yoda's accent that I recall. This is because Jar-Jar's accent was seen by many to be patterned after racist caricatures; Yoda's had no such similarities.

Someone has a great signature that says something like: There is no dislike mod, and no, troll, flamebait, overrated are not substitutes.

Please mod parent and myself up as I was not trolling.

Re:Obviously the template

[VGPowerlord]

You didn't know that Lucas was biased against short, green people who speak funny?

Re:Obviously the template

[mano.m]

an educated American accent

We're still looking for one of those.

Re:Obviously the template

[Dogtanian]

The flying master of Anakin (don't remember his name now) a "troyariam" or something like this, was criticized because racism against jews. (for his nose, and that he always wanted money).

I was trying to rememember the name of the race in the Phantom Menace that was accused of being Japanese stereotypes; a bit of detective work reveals they were the "Neimoidians".

Basically, I think Lucas was trying to shove so many stereotypes in there that he offended everyone equally and thus couldn't be accused of racism ;-)

I think racism in this case ir like p0rn, it is in the eye of the observer.

Let's just say that some porn is blatantly... porn, regardless of that "eye of the beholder" thing. If it's called "ATM Bitches 13" and the cover features a really bad montage of sexual positions and really tacky Photoshop-effect lettering then it's likely intended as porn.

Re:Obviously the template

[bertoelcon]

Its speciesist.

Re:Obviously the template

[hairyfeet]

Hmmmm...well lets see....dark skinned stupid ebonics speaking natives that end up pretty much being the step and fetch-its along with convenient comic relief...nope not racist at all here! Give me a break, all Lucas need was to put bones in their noses and give them spears to chuck. Hell they even made the leader a fat "baby doc" type, for the love of Pete!

Add to that the 'evil japs' of the trade federation and I think we can safely say old George doesn't really notice his bigotry anymore when he is THAT blatant. .

Re:Obviously the template

[Anonymous Coward]

There was no similar discussion of Yoda's accent that I recall. This is because Jar-Jar's accent was seen by many to be patterned after racist caricatures; Yoda's had no such similarities.

True, I remember the only discussion about Yoda's voice being its similarity to Grover's.

So unless you think Lucas is an anti-monsterite, it's hard to make a case for racism on that basis...

Re:Obviously the template

[tg123]

Hamill had this to say about that:

"I had the accident way before Star Wars came out, but what really happened has been terribly distorted. I broke my nose, that's it! But I've read accounts about how my face has been reconstructed with plastic surgery, and how I was pulling myself along the highway with one arm looking for help. I even heard that I drove off a cliff! That's the best one of all."

Yes I read that but he must have had some bad scars with the amount of make up he was wearing during that christmas special.

Re:Obviously the template

[hairyfeet]

Hey moron? You might want to Google Jar Jar Racist before you go modding people troll, considering there are 1.4 MILLION hits, nearly all saying the SAME FUCKING THING as I wrote.

Maybe if you had actually bothered to see anything done by Stepin Fetchit you would have a fucking clue as to where the character of Jar Jar came from, since he is pretty much a CGI Stepin Fetchit.

But maybe you were too busy drooling over the thought of big black cocks to actually think of anything else. Now THAT is a troll, you cock slobbering cum dumpster!

Re:Obviously the template

[pnewhook]

I think people like you just see what they want to see. A reflection of what you are inside. That why so many people that are excessively outspoken against gays, havinag an affair, whatever, are actually that way themselves but cannot admit it. Just look at how fiercely outspoken Newt Gingrich was against Clintons affair when in reality he was hiding his own affair.

There's no racism in Star Wars except what you project there of your own biases and attitudes. You see JarJar being a racist stereotype against blacks because that is your perception of blacks.

Re:Obviously the template

[operagost]

But he doesn't look like any Jamaicans I've seen. His skin is not the right color, for one, and he lacks hair.

Re:Obviously the template

[operagost]

Stepin Fetchit was black. Was he racist against himself? Or is this just another example of "progressive" hypocrisy?

Re:Obviously the template

[Anonymous Coward]

Given that it sounds like a real accent, that makes it racist, imo

WTF? So if I have two fictional characters, one with a southern US accent and one with a northern US accent, who is racist and why?

If neither is racist, then neither can JarJar be.
If only one is racist, how does that even make sense?
If both are racist, well, at least you're consistent.

Re:Obviously the template

[hairyfeet]

Oh Please! There is nothing worse in this world than liberal psychobabble! Do you REALLY think that there are 1.4 MILLION hits under "Jar Jar racist" because it is all just in everyone's heads? really?

I suppose then that we can make a new CGI about some "mud people" that have bones in their noses and chucked "laser spears" and ate a large red centered green fruit that wouldn't be racist either, because they are aliens? The character was such a Stepin Fetchit I'm shocked that whomever owns the rights to the original Stepin Fetchit didn't sue for copyright infringement!

Re:Obviously the template

[hairyfeet]

Stepin Fetchit had two choices in the 1930s-Either make fun of his own race (remember that this was a time when often white actors would be painted black and do the same act) or never work in Hollywood. if you will look at the depiction of most non whites at that time it was pretty heavily racist-The blacks were lazy stepin fetchits, the Asians had big buck teeth and slanty eyes, etc.

Just because somebody was willing to take the job for money doesn't make it any less racist. For a look at just how rough it was when actors like Stepin Fechit were working just remember that at that time the #1 grossing movie of all time was Birth Of A Nation, which had people lining up at its release to pay the equivalent of $40 a ticket in today's money to see the "heroic" Klan deal with the "savage" negros, and it stayed the #1 box office grossing film until 1937. So at the time Stepin Fetchit had the choice of play the "dumb darkie" or not work at all.

Re:Obviously the template

[pnewhook]

If I had the perception that Native Americans were tall bumbling clumsy idiots that couldn't speak correctly, then I would have seen JarJar and thought 'that's just like a native! George Lucas must really be racist against them!'

I don't care how many hits there are - the only way people think Jar Jar is a racist stereotype is if they have those stereotypical perceptions of that stereotype group themselves.

Besides - people who say Jar Jar is a racist stereotype cant even decide who it is a stereotype of - you think it is black americans, others think its Jamaicans. Further proof that this is all in the mind of the beholder.

Re:Obviously the template

[Anonymous Coward]

> Stepin Fetchit was black. Was he racist against himself?

Not that I think this has anything to do with Jar-Jar, but yep, he was.

Oh no

[quall]

The only thing worse than watching the special, is watching it on VHS.

Re:Oh no

[Anonymous Coward]

Not only that, but as TFS states, to also watch it on the worst TV.

Re:Oh no

[Megane]

...a multi-generation copy, where one of the intermediate copies had the tape crunched somewhere in the middle.

Oh, and would it have hurt someone to put ANY sort of link in TFS?

Re:Oh no

[ByOhTek]

I thought the crunch in the middle would be nice - a moment of respite from the torture.

Re:Oh no

[commodore64_love]

http://isohunt.com/torrents/?ihq=star+wars+christmas

Re:Oh no

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm torrenting this with all the files set to dont download because its so bad.

Re:Oh no

[Trigun]

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=323909610753051544#

With cheesy 1978 commercials and everything.

Re:Oh no

[Recovery1]

This makes it a little more watchable. A Rifftrax for this particular Lake Video.

http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax/star-wars-holiday-special

Re:Oh no

[Korin43]

Why is this modded informative?? Where's "-1 what has been seen cannot be unseen" when you need it?

Re:Oh no

[commodore64_love]

Ahhh the 70s - the lost decade where almost everything produced for TV was fueled by drug experimentation. Or sounded like disco. Or worse - had a little of both (Buck Rogers) so it could be twice as craptacular.

Re:Oh no

[elrous0]

Nonsense! Who DIDN'T love Gil Gerard in spandex?

Re:Oh no

[Opportunist]

No, I could imagine it to be worse to watch it in the company of hundreds others, dressed as a Jedi, having your picture taken and posted to Facebook.

THAT is about as bad as it can get.

Re:Oh no

[Ichijo]

The only thing worse than watching the special, is watching it on VHS.

Personally, I think the low resolution of VHS dulls the pain a little.

Re:Oh no

[John Straffin]

First non-San-Anselmo-Country-Fair-parade appearance of Boba Fett @ 59:10

Re:Oh no

[Anonymous Coward]

http://isohunt.com/torrents/?ihq=star+wars+christmas

Not quite, old bean.

Try searching ISOHunt for Star Wars Holiday - I'm downloading the DVD now!

Re:Oh no

[Anonymous Coward]

http://stagevu.com/video/fgtmtufkjvtb

there you are :)

Re:Oh no

[Madsy]

I'd claim that the He-Man Christmas special is worse. (requires Flash)

I've seen that show

[JeffSpudrinski]

...and I have to say that if I went to free screening of it, I would demand a full refund.

My KIDS won't even watch it, and that's saying something.

Re:I've seen that show

[dkleinsc]

Weird Al should definitely demand one as well.

Link

[rodrigoandrade]

Link or it didn't happen!!

Re:Link

[eldavojohn]

For those of you awaking in your tauntaun right now on Hoth (aka Minneapolis), here's the link.

Indeed, from your link:

Film Board director of services Chris Grap is a fan of bad movies. Grap says he "couldn't believe" the "Star Wars Holiday Special" existed. The plot involves Han Solo trying to get Chewbacca the Wookie back to his home planet to celebrate Life Day. The cast includes original "Star Wars" actors as well as Bea Arthur, Art Carney and Harvey Korman.

Keep in mind that this is the birthplace of MST3K and a great time in Minneapolis is a case of beer and one really bad movie with your friends. Slightly offtopic but five episodes of MST3K are on Hulu now.

Re:Link

[Farmer Tim]

Didn't happen...next week? Only a time traveller would get their tenses mixed up like that, therefore:

RODRIGOANDRADE IS A LHC SABOTEUR FROM THE FUTURE! SIEZE HIM!!!

Re:Link

[machine321]

He went to see it with John Titor.

Re:Link

[megamerican]

From the pioneer press:

Fans of "Star Wars" have a chance to see a free screening of the notoriously bad "Star Wars Holiday Special" next week in Minneapolis.

The Minnesota Film and TV Board is showing the 1978 television special as an official Toys for Tots event. It will be screened Dec. 16 at Bryant-Lake Bowl.

Film Board director of services Chris Grap is a fan of bad movies. Grap says he "couldn't believe" the "Star Wars Holiday Special" existed.

The plot involves Han Solo trying to get Chewbacca the Wookie back to his home planet to celebrate Life Day. The cast includes original "Star Wars" actors as well as Bea Arthur, Art Carney and Harvey Korman.

The screening is free, but people bringing a toy donation will get priority seating. Doors open at 9 p.m.

— Associated Press

Re:Link

[ShannaraFan]

It's a balmy -4F here in Mpls right now, we've just broken out the light jackets...

Re:Link

[The Archon V2.0]

Didn't happen...next week? Only a time traveller would get their tenses mixed up like that, therefore:

RODRIGOANDRADE IS A LHC SABOTEUR FROM THE FUTURE! SIEZE HIM!!!

Don't worry. If he sees the Star Wars Christmas Special, he probably won't WANT to save the world from a black hole.

Re:Link

[ozbird]

Star Wars Christmas Special: the only thing a black hole can't stomach.

Re:Link

[The Archon V2.0]

Star Wars Christmas Special: the only thing a black hole can't stomach.

Please don't say that. If the Earth is destroyed with just a bunch of VHS tapes in orbit around the carnage, someday an alien archaeologist will develop a description of our entire society based on that special. I really don't want that museum exhibit to exist. I'm starting to picture it now, and I feel very, very ashamed. And horrified. But mostly ashamed.

Proof of the dark side

[Anonymous Coward]

It was proof that Lucas really is the sith lord

is it really that bad?

[OrangeTide]

Can it really be worse than Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure and Ewoks: The Battle for Endor?

even as a little kid I felt they were lame and painful to watch.

Re:is it really that bad?

[S-4'N3]

OMG, yes. Yes it really is worse. I mean, I was able to sit through Ewoks: Battle for Endor all the way through. I couldn't finish watching the Christmas special. I would liken it to being digested in the sarlacc pit (pre-special edition) for thousands of years.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Vorpix]

yes, yes it can be worse. (still worth seeing though)

Re:is it really that bad?

[Rary]

When I tell people about it, I go on and on and on about how unbelievably bad it is. I insist that it's worse than the worst you can possibly think of and then some. I tell them that it's not one of those things that's so bad that it's good, it's so bad that it's just bad. Really, really, really, really, really bad. Horrible. And not in a way that's funny. It's just bad.

When people I've warned about it end up finally seeing it, they always tell me that my warnings didn't even come close to preparing them for just how bad it actually was.

I'd say that, even if you're a die-hard fan, SWHS is so bad that it's not even worth seeing. I personally can't bring myself to watch it a second time. It's just so freakin' bad.

Do yourself a favour. Stay away from it — far, far away.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Tridus]

You have no idea. People who say this is the worst TV ever made are NOT exaggerating.

You can't deliberately make something this bad. I don't think you can even accidentally do it again. This is a once in a civilization mass failure that transcends ordinary failure and sets a new standard.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Critical Facilities]

You have no idea. People who say this is the worst TV ever made are NOT exaggerating

That's a bold statement. Remember this?

Re:is it really that bad?

[Steeltalon]

Well, you tell me... How bad is Bea Arthur singing and dancing with Roadian Bounty Hunters?

I remember the Ewok movies and, yes, they were horrible (like having the Ewok language as english but backwards). This is a variety special, though, featuring Bea Arthur, Art Carney, and Jefferson Starship.

On the bright side, it also has the cartoon introduction of Boba Fett, but that's the only redeeming quality.

Re:is it really that bad?

[schon]

OK, go find a copy of Shatner's "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds", and listen to it 20 times in a row.

It's *that* bad.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Anonymous Coward]

The Star Wars Christmas Special makes the KISS special look like Casablanca.

Re:is it really that bad?

[sewiv]

Yes. I've seen both.

Re:is it really that bad?

[dkleinsc]

How does it compare with Manos: The Hands of Fate (without MST)?

Re:is it really that bad?

[Conspiracy_Of_Doves]

It's right down there with "Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing".

As was once said about that game, it is "As bad as your mind will allow you to comprehend."

Re:is it really that bad?

[AttillaTheNun]

No - that's camp and I find it enjoyable on multiple listens.

However, I have no desire to venture past the couple of youtube clips for the Star Wars Christmas Special.

Re:is it really that bad?

[omnichad]

Watch it, and just wait until you get to Bea Arthur's song. Yes, you read that right.

Re:is it really that bad?

[AttillaTheNun]

Leonard Nimoy's "Bilbo Baggins", however, is closer. The only redeeming quality is the elves/hobbits/whatever in miniskirts.

Re:is it really that bad?

[bill_mcgonigle]

Can it really be worse than Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure and Ewoks: The Battle for Endor?

No, it's not that bad. Those were trying to be serious and lacked in almost every department.

The Star Wars Holiday Special was meant to be a holiday song & dance special, set with Star Wars characters. The plot is reasonable for kids and the acts are amusing. There's even the introduction of Boba Fett, with more characterization of the character than in either ESB or ROJ. There is imagination portrayed in most of the costumes and acts acts and especially the Wookie house set (a 1970's dream home hung a mile high up a tree), but it's certainly targeted at the 4-10 year old audience it was written for (it's designed that way because it's a home they can feel comfortable with).

If you want it to be a serious entry in the Star Wars saga, you'll of course be seriously disappointed. But that would be missing the point entirely - this is the Carol Burnette show set on Kashyyk meant to make kids happy and drive home the point that it's important to be with family on the holidays. If there's no room in your heart for such a use of the Star Wars Universe, then holiday fare from Dickens and Geisel would be recommended viewing.

Re:is it really that bad?

[neurovish]

When I tell people about it, I go on and on and on about how unbelievably bad it is. I insist that it's worse than the worst you can possibly think of and then some. I tell them that it's not one of those things that's so bad that it's good, it's so bad that it's just bad. Really, really, really, really, really bad. Horrible. And not in a way that's funny. It's just bad.

When people I've warned about it end up finally seeing it, they always tell me that my warnings didn't even come close to preparing them for just how bad it actually was.

I'd say that, even if you're a die-hard fan, SWHS is so bad that it's not even worth seeing. I personally can't bring myself to watch it a second time. It's just so freakin' bad.

Do yourself a favour. Stay away from it — far, far away.

He speaks the truth...I was also told how bad it was, including "the first 10 minutes are nothing but grunting wookies", and I did not heed the warnings. I foolishly thought that it couldn't be nearly as bad as everybody says it is. But yes, it is. I would warn others not to watch it, but I know you won't listen. If you really want to see it that badly, it's up on youtube. The highlight of the entire thing is the commercials from 1978, they are an interesting contrast to commercials of today.

Re:is it really that bad?

[neurovish]

Well, you tell me... How bad is Bea Arthur singing and dancing with Roadian Bounty Hunters?

Unfortunately, Bea Arthur's Mos Eisley musical number is one of the better parts. :(

Re:is it really that bad?

[chaotixx]

It's so bad it goes right past good and back to bad.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Anonymous Coward]

My best memory of that song is from a radio show presented by British comedians Stewart Lee and Richard Herring. They played the song and added commentary. It went like this:

William Shatner: Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes...And she's gone. [weird echo effect]

Richard Herring: William Shatner obviously thinks you actually have to *be* on LSD to sing this song.

Re:is it really that bad?

[blincoln]

If further reinforcement is needed, I loaned my VHS copy to a coworker. It literally drove him to drink - he was a teetotaler until he'd sat through the Holiday Special.
It is far, far worse than the Ewok movies.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Anonymous Coward]

A prize for anyone who can track down a copy of "Space Jazz" by L. Ron Hubbard. It's his own composition; a musical accompaniment to "Battlefield Earth". I doubt that any number of hobbits could redeem it.

Re:is it really that bad?

[VShael]

That show is touched by darkness, Ambassador.
I see it as a blemish that grew over time.

I could warn you, of course, but you would not listen.
I could kill you, but someone else would watch it in your place.
So, I do the only thing I can. I go.

Oh, if it was a review you wanted? A word or two, about the special itself?
Well, take this, for what little it will profit you.

As I look at you, I see a great hand reaching out of the darkness, trying to blot out the moviescreen.
The hand is your hand.

And I hear sounds--the sounds of billions of people calling your name, telling you "NO!! DON'T LOOK!! CLOSE YOUR EYES!!!"

Re:is it really that bad?

[atilla filiz]

I tried to watch it on youtube, first took a quick look but jumping on the seek bar. After seeing a few scenes, I was so repelled, even scared. It is really bad. In fact, it is bad in a degree which people never thought to be possible.

Re:is it really that bad?

[blincoln]

You are a cruel, cruel man, Bill McGonicle, misusing your low user ID to spread that sort of deception.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Anonymous Coward]

Manos is watchable, at least drunk.
SWHS isn't.

Re:is it really that bad?

[one_in_a_milli0n]

You made me curious. Now, I really have to see it!

...HATE YOU!!!

Re:is it really that bad?

[Anonymous Coward]

Nice Babylon 5 technomage paraphrase. :D

(I love that speech. The turn in it is chilling the first time you hear it.)

Re:is it really that bad?

[Cormacus]

All I can say is that I loved Ewoks: The Battle for Endor as a kid.

Re:is it really that bad?

[lastchance_000]

One of the reasons it's so bad is the way it takes the characters you've come to know and love, and puts them in a situation where they don't act like themselves. Manos is horrible, and painful to watch, but this takes it to a new level. Imagine coming home and finding a brain-eating zombie. Pretty bad, right? Now imagine that the zombie is your mom. Much, much worse.

Re:is it really that bad?

[jitterman]

I promise you, Rary 566291 is correct. To compare, I watched a RiffTrax version of SWHS, hoping that this treatment would help in some way. I'd rather watch "Manos.." without MST3K than SWHS with the old MST3K crew. There are no words to describe it. You cannot be warned sufficiently. Apparently it was created in Soviet Russia, and I leave it to another /.er to come up with an appropriately funny saying to that effect.

Re:is it really that bad?

[jitterman]

Sure do. Have to agree with AC here. SWHS was the "perfect storm" of horrifyingly shit-tastic film making.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Anonymous Coward]

You had to mention that it was on YouTube. I just skimmed through the first 10 minutes. I want to go home now and sleep the rest of the day. You aren't kidding about the 10 minute wookie grunt. The background music is still in my head and is haunting me. AaaaahhhhhhHHH!

Re:is it really that bad?

[Austerity Empowers]

I hated it, however my sister loved this one so much that we had to watch it, over and over and over. Every time someone brought up the holiday special, I assumed they were talking about Battle for Endor (since that's when I recall our VHS of Battle for Endor being recorded).

Re:is it really that bad?

[MBaldelli]

Well, you tell me... How bad is Bea Arthur singing and dancing with Roadian Bounty Hunters?

I know it's hard for some of you /. folk to believe that Bea Arthur had a long career on the stage and it did involve singing, but she was actually not as bad in this as say... *cringe* Carrie Fisher singing in it.

On the bright side, it also has the cartoon introduction of Boba Fett, but that's the only redeeming quality.

Not enough to survive this Clockwork Orange torture of one's sanity. And back then, only the rich kids could tape it all and fast forward through the pain. The rest of us suffered for years afterward

Re:is it really that bad?

[KnownIssues]

My measuring stick for bad has become Leonard Part 6. I went through a stint of wanting to see the worst of the worst movies. It was the first movie I could only get through by watching in 15 minute intervals. It's exactly one of those "so bad it's just bad" ones. If the Star Wars Christmas Special is worse than Leonard Part 6, I'll know just how bad it could be.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Monkeedude1212]

Now I'm stuck in this dilemma of whether or not to watch even just a part of it. Having never seen it, the worst piece of anything I've ever watched was the Sequel to Starship Troopers, which is similar in to how you describe it. It's so bad I had to turn it off, and I can not possibly bring myself to watch it again.

But since I know there is something worse... something so terrible... It's like I have to see it to broaden my perspectives. Maybe it will be a life changing situation for me (Like someone else commented, it drove his friend to drink). Maybe I will reach an ultimate state of enlightenment after seeing the worst piece of recorded entertainment. Just to push the boundaries of what is possible, seems like a goal anyone would set.

But on the other hand, I -LIKE- Star Wars. Like, more than like, but not quite obsessive fan love. See when I was a Kid I owned the entire Star Wars: The Essential Guide collection of books. I had every line memorized and could spew the dialogue back to you without any hesitation. I -WAS- a fanboy. But I've kind of grown out of it, but it still holds a special place in my heart. I still play X-Wing vs Tie Fighter every now and then. I still claim that Dark Forces were the highlight of Lucas Art's first person shooters, and that Battlefront 2 still doesn't reach the entertainment value of Jedi Academy (though Jedi Outcast was a much better storyline by far). And while Force Unleashed was good in it's own right, it never earned an emotional spot like Droid Works.

So what will it be - A gift to perception to help me better understand the world around me, despite how painful it might be to endure...

Or a horrible piece of Malice that will destroy everything my childhood has loved and charished, leaving me a half empty shell of a human being not worth living...

Re:is it really that bad?

[atamido]

No, it's not that bad.

Lies, and damn lies.

Re:is it really that bad?

[troll8901]

... it takes the characters you've come to know and love, and puts them in a situation where they don't act like themselves...

Now I understand. Thanks for explaining.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Hurricane78]

You mean what the term “EPIC FAIL” was invented for, before it was used for every dumb shit? ^^

No wait, I have a new term for a failure of *biblical* proportions:

BIBLIC FAIL! — When something is as bad as *half the world* falling for a fantasy story book, believing it is real, and adjusting their whole lives to it for thousands of years! ^^

Re:is it really that bad?

[socz]

hahaha yeah i watched it to and after many warnings i said, how bad can it be? Is it a conspiracy to keep me from watching this sw holiday goodness?

Well yeah, IT IS THAT BAD and i couldn't bring myself to watch it again lol

Re:is it really that bad?

[Tetsujin]

OMG, yes. Yes it really is worse. I mean, I was able to sit through Ewoks: Battle for Endor all the way through. I couldn't finish watching the Christmas special. I would liken it to being digested in the sarlacc pit (pre-special edition) for thousands of years.

"Battle for Endor" - you mean the second half of "Return of the Jedi"?

Re:is it really that bad?

[S-4'N3]

Yes. Because George Lucas never made any movies in the star wars universe apart from the original trilogy. He never made prequels about Menacing Phantoms, Clones Attacking or Avenging Siths. No spin-offs about Ewoks Battling for Endor or Courageous Caravans and definitely no tv-series about warring clones.

Re:is it really that bad?

[oatworm]

Both. It's a gift to perception to help you better understand the world around you, which is a horrible piece of malice that systematically destroys everything your childhood has ever loved and cherished, leaving you a half empty shell of a human being not worth living.

Re:is it really that bad?

[The Archon V2.0]

Apparently it was created in Soviet Russia, and I leave it to another /.er to come up with an appropriately funny saying to that effect.

In Soviet Russia they don't have Christmas, the godless bastards?

(Got nothin'.)

Re:is it really that bad?

[Mister Whirly]

The SWCS makes House Party 3 look like House Party.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Opportunist]

It's MUCH worse. Ya see, there's a slim chance that someone actually likes KISS and thus might somehow enjoy seeing the musicians he likes in a movie, even if the movie is cheezy.

SWHS is actors we like, characters we like, in a horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE setting, acting like they never should. While the former might be enjoyable for fans of the people starring, it makes the whole ordeal worse for those that like the acting figures.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Rary]

You made me curious. Now, I really have to see it!

...HATE YOU!!!

I know. That's one of the problems with warning people. It piques their curiosity. Let me try one last time to save you, however. Just because I'm a good person.

You see, there are movies that are bad.

There are movies that are so bad, they're good.

There are movies that are so bad they go past good and are bad again.

There are movies that are so bad they go past good and bad again, and are amazingly awesome (ex. Toxic Avenger).

Then there are movies that are so unbelievably bad they go past bad, good, bad again, and amazingly awesome, landing ultimately on so horrid that no one, no matter how curious, should ever see them.

Now, if you took all of the movies in that last category and ranked them from "best" (for lack of a better word) to worst, SWHS but be dead last.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Mister Whirly]

But Nimoy's version of "Proud Mary" rocks the house.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Opportunist]

Biblic? Aim higher.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Opportunist]

Sure, but can you explain to me why the scene where a single fuzzy Ewok dies takes longer than the one where the Death Star gets blown to little bits taking thousands to death with it?

Re:is it really that bad?

[R2.0]

As one of those who actually saw the Christmas special when broadcast, I believe I should point out a factor in the show's defense: in 1978, ALL television oriented toward kids was execrable. The golden years of animation were long gone, and Sid and Marty Croft were churning out stuff like "Electra-Woman and Dyna-Girl". And guess what? We kids loved it all. That's why there is such nostalgia for that crap, but it's based on memories of happiness, not of the shows. For most people who say "I LOVED that show when I was a kid!", they haven't seen the show with adult eyes. I once tried watching the original Speed Racer and I couldn't make it 5 minutes.

That's why the Star Wars special has such a bad rap - because it's, well, Star Wars, a lot more people have sought it out to watch it. So it's not that the Christmas Special was any worse or better than its contemporaries, but that so many more people have seen how awful it is and assume it's unique - believe me, it wasn't.

Re:is it really that bad?

[kainewynd2]

Me: This can't be any worse than Manos: The Hands of Fate without being MST'd, right?

Friend: Probably not. I mean, they didn't even have credits for Manos.

Episode IV 1/2

The Star Wars Holiday Special

Han Solo and Chewbacca are on their way to the Wookie planet of Kashyyyk to take part in Life Day when they...

CLICK

Me: Maybe these guys should have learned from Manos?

As a complete form of self promotion, it's available on Google Video, but I have it embedded here.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Rary]

Although I still think SWHS is the absolute worst of the worst of the worst, you do make a good point about TV "back in the day". For example, I recently watched the first episode of the original 1984 V TV series. It was horrid. Absolutely painful. Nowhere near the level of SWHS, but I do not plan to re-watch the rest of the series, even though I absolutely loved it as a 12-year old.

Re:is it really that bad?

[ajs]

How does it compare with Manos: The Hands of Fate (without MST)?

Manos is so bad it's funny. It's just a sloppily hacked-together sequence of poorly filmed bits.

This is Star Wars, written by what appear to be a team of people who had no idea what Star Wars was and thought somewhere between Carol Burnett and Star Wars, there was a perfect balance to be struck. Had they been right, we'd never have known, because they hired the Three's Company writers to get really stoned and then start working on it. It features only one funny scene, and IT is funny only in the lurid, "I get to watch Carrie Fisher be stoned at the hight of her drug problems," sense. Other than that, it is quite possibly the most obscene thing anyone has ever done in front of a television camera.

The musical numbers make you want to die. Not die laughing. Not "hey, that's the dumbest thing I've ever seen, let's call Joe and get HIM to watch it." Just curl-up-and-die bad.

The jokes arent.

The Wookies are essentially tall Ewoks with strong Christian overtones. The Empire are, I believe some hackish analog of comunism trying to stamp out religion crossed with a rather ham-handed Nazi/Anne Frank riff. No, I'm not kidding.

When fans tell you, "it's so bad it's worth avoiding," that's not a hint that you'll like it. Fans will tell you, "it's so bad it has to be seen." When they say run away... that's no moon.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Hurricane78]

I didn’t know that the word “biblic“ had a height... What scale are we talking about? What is the “up“ direction on that scale? Where am I, and where is “biblic“ on that scale? How is “aiming” defined in that context? Are there other modulating factors? And by what factor is the aiming off? ^^

Re:is it really that bad?

[istartedi]

I went to YouTube. I watched the first 10 minute segment. I got a few minutes into the 2nd segment. I paused it and googled around and found out it was a FULL LENGTH MOVIE. I was flabbergasted. 90+ minutes. I have utter admiration for anybody who can sit through the whole thing. Maybe the meaning of life is revealed in minute 89, and nobody has ever gotten that far. I gave up right where I paused on the 2nd segment. No Enlightenment for me. It's not worth it. I'm going to drink heavily now.

Re:is it really that bad?

[pokasd]

I'm going to (attempt to) watch it when I get home, despite all the warnings. Thanks for caring so much, you guys, but I can't help it. ;)

This is all just reminding me of:

Luke: Horrible, painful. Listen, if you were to watch it, the result would be...
Han Solo: What?
Luke: Well, more terror than you can imagine!
Han Solo: I don't know, I can imagine quite a bit.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Anonymous Coward]

I remember that, and it had its amusing moments.

What's with the really bad TV made in 1978 though?

Re:is it really that bad?

[Cormacus]

Well the Death Star is a little too big to really fit your mind around. I mean you look at it and you think its this little model. And then the Millenium Falcon gets closer to it and you're thinking "wow, that's the size of the moon". And then the tractor beams lock on and suddenly its the size of a space station!

So when it blows up its kindof hard to appreciate really the emotional impact. Was the Death Star happy? Sad? We will never know. And as far as the millions of inhabitants that perished at the same time - in order to see the whole Death Star you have to zoom out so far that any floating debris that was once human is of such scale as to be practically invisible.

Re:is it really that bad?

[Anonymous Coward]

I watched it recently ... there is nothing you can say to prepare them for the horror.

Re:is it really that bad?

[bertoelcon]

I watched it once. Then I burned it to a disc and used it for target practice to get the satisfaction of it being destroyed.

Re:is it really that bad?

[lennier]

"Or a horrible piece of Malice that will destroy everything my childhood has loved and charished"

Star Wars Episode One already went there, so can it be worse?

Well yes, but still.

Actually I've seen bits on Youtube and I kinda like the Jefferson Starship video.

Why is this on the front page?!

[ddillman]

Wonderful article. NOT! No mention of what theater? When? No linky to information that would let people know WHY this is so bad? Pfeh!

Re:Why is this on the front page?!

[Anonymous Coward]

+1

Re:Why is this on the front page?!

[Macharius]

Bryant-Lake Bowl, Decemebr 16 at 9pm. Bring a toy for priority seating. http://wcco.com/local/star.wars.holiday.2.1356544.html

Re:Why is this on the front page?!

[Anonymous Coward]

You must be new here. I don't mean on Slashdot, I mean on Earth. The article submitter probably realized that telling people where they could view this 'masterwork' was about as useful as telling them where they could have their uvula pierced.

Re:Why is this on the front page?!

[jd2112]

Bring a toy for priority seating.

Closer to the exit?

Re:Why is this on the front page?!

[Hurricane78]

Wouldt’t mentioning when and where like aiding and abetting self-harm and possibly suicide?

Especially since one can see that you are a uninitiated soul. Or else you wouldn’t ask such questions.
That thing would crush you like a stone crusher machine would crack a skull.

Re:Why is this on the front page?!

[Anonymous Coward]

"Dec. 16 at Bryant-Lake Bowl"
"Doors open at 9 p.m"

Re:Why is this on the front page?!

[Anonymous Coward]

Outside the theater.

Re:Why is this on the front page?!

[Opportunist]

Close to the toilets. If you think you're regular now, wait 'til you watch the movie.

Re:Why is this on the front page?!

[Anonymous Coward]

PURE WIN!!!!!

Re:Why is this on the front page?!

[ddillman]

Wouldt’t mentioning when and where like aiding and abetting self-harm and possibly suicide?

You have a point there!

Especially since one can see that you are a uninitiated soul.

No, I saw the horror when it originally aired on TV. I know exactly what we're dealing with here.

Link

[DieByWire]

For those of you awaking in your tauntaun right now on Hoth (aka Minneapolis), here's the link.

Oblig. xkcd

[Anonymous Coward]

http://xkcd.com/653/

Re:Oblig. xkcd

[Tetsujin]

http://xkcd.com/653/

Yeah, seriously...

I watched "Plan 9 from Outer Space" recently - I had a similar reaction. Like, it wasn't particularly entertaining to watch how bad the thing was, rather, it was just really, really dull. The complete lack of potential to entertain the audience is the mark of a truly bad film.

Re:Oblig. xkcd

[cayenne8]

"I watched "Plan 9 from Outer Space" recently - I had a similar reaction. Like, it wasn't particularly entertaining to watch how bad the thing was, rather, it was just really, really dull. The complete lack of potential to entertain the audience is the mark of a truly bad film."

But riffing in the MST3K styles makes them all watchable!!

Re:Oblig. xkcd

[Tetsujin]

"I watched "Plan 9 from Outer Space" recently - I had a similar reaction. Like, it wasn't particularly entertaining to watch how bad the thing was, rather, it was just really, really dull. The complete lack of potential to entertain the audience is the mark of a truly bad film."

But riffing in the MST3K styles makes them all watchable!!

By the same token, one could watch paint dry, and riff over it MST3K style, thus making it watchable...

I think most MST3K fare does have the capacity to entertain its audience - and the fact that MST's of those films are successful is evidence of that. A movie that's "unintentionally funny" is still funny... I feel that Plan 9 and the Star Wars Holiday Special lack even that...

Re:Oblig. xkcd

[Anonymous Coward]

Sure, but Plan 9 was merely _dull_. The Star Wars holiday special makes you _cringe_ nonstop.

It's the cringe factor that makes it so awesomely bad.

This version isn't true to the original

[Anonymous Coward]

Santa shot first!

Re:This version isn't true to the original

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, Santa commited suiced when he saw the Star Wars Christmas special. But only after trying to get the horrifying images out of his head by replacing them with much more pleasent stuff like bike-car accidents, war photography or the holocaust.

Re:This version isn't true to the original

[bertoelcon]

After those failed attempts Santa decided the only was to remove the Special from his mind was to replace it with a bullet. In his stint of insanity trying to remove the Special he forgot that putting a bullet in his head would kill him.

There's a science to it

[perlmangle]

http://xkcd.com/653/

Re:There's a science to it

[phantasmagoric]

Science of course! Pretty graphs never lie!

Copy on DVD

[GoNINzo]

So, a couple years ago at 'B-Fest', a Chicago festival of bad movies, I 'won' a copy of a DVD burn of someone's VHS copy. I showed it to some of my friend's kids recently, and even they started trashing it. So yes, it is out there, somewhere.

Re:Star Wars is not scientific

[Anonymous Coward]

You're correct, Citizen. Oiur Knowledgis are under assault! Your thinking vigilance has been noted, and you will be spared in the purges.

eep, publicity...

[Sqweegee]

Lucas is going to get wind of this and shut it down.

"If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every copy of that show and smash it." - George Lucas

Re:eep, publicity...

[Anonymous Coward]

Then we can make the story into a movie!

Re:eep, publicity...

[The Archon V2.0]

Lucas is going to get wind of this and shut it down.

They're asking for toy donations for Toys for Tots. Somehow, I don't think George Lucas is so epically cold-hearted-with-a-heaping-side-of-douchebag that he would attempt to stop poor children from getting toys on Christmas, which would just bring more publicity to the special - and him - anyway.

Re:eep, publicity...

[Opportunist]

My guess is that he'd probably offer a ton of toys in exchange for the copy. BEFORE the showing.

Fighting the frizzies at 11...

[Bones3D_mac]

Just had to say it.

Re:Fighting the frizzies at 11...

[Bones3D_mac]

For anyone still scratching their heads... here...

For anyone else, congrats on "getting it"

Re:Fighting the frizzies at 11...

[Bones3D_mac]

More on "the frizzies"

So what do you do?

[NoYob]

So, do you go to the screening and jeer at it? Or sit there and have "Mystery Science Theater 3000" type of comments throughout?

I mean, what's the point in even going?

Re:So what do you do?

[omnichad]

You can't jeer, you can't make comments - you're too busy laughing. It's that bad.

Re:So what do you do?

[Recovery1]

Speaking of MST3k...

http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax/star-wars-holiday-special

Re:So what do you do?

[Tetsujin]

You can't jeer, you can't make comments - you're too busy laughing. It's that bad.

No, the laughter is false, just intended to cover the noise of the weeping. It's that bad.

Re:So what do you do?

[Anonymous Coward]

Sorry....I'm more interested in the way Carrie Fisher used to bounce around in that silky outfit.

Awesome

[VincenzoRomano]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXcb7VPw59s

Re:Awesome

[Anonymous Coward]

Holy fuck that sucks.

I made it to 1:23. Anyone beat that?

Re:Awesome

[GrumblyStuff]

Don't forget when Conan O'brien confronts Harrison Ford with a clip! http://www.videosift.com/video/Conan-asks-Harrison-Ford-about-the-Star-Wars-Holiday-Special

Re:Awesome

[SanityInAnarchy]

2:45. The singing... I can feel brain cells dying.

Re:Awesome

[PsychoticSpoon]

Here's the whole thing: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=323909610753051544&ei=uXohS5uKGaG8qgKc7djzDw

tss....ah!

[davcorp]

God I can remember watching this as a kid and being so angry that I waited with such anticipation for such a momentous piece of unwatchable crap. AND I had to sit through endless incomprehensible singing... I distinctly remember thinking to my self WHY ON EARTH are they singing in the Star Wars Universe?? I will murder to get those precious hours back from my childhood.

Re:tss....ah!

[jimbobborg]

Please. I was in Korea when this came out. I had to wait for a friend to send a copy on VHS to see it, as AFKN was not showing this. Extremely disappointed.

StarWarsHolidaySpecial.com

[sean_nestor]

StarWarsHolidaySpecial.com

Fan site about the special...worth checking out for more details on the subject.

I quite liked it actually.

[lxs]

Just kidding. It stinks to high heaven. Still better than anything starring Adam Sandler though.

Kiss Movie

[stewbacca]

Worse than the Kiss movie?

Obligatory Wikipedia link

[Megane]

The Star Wars Holiday Special

Klingon Christmas Carol

[hansamurai]

For those of us in the Twin Cities who are more interested in something less... atrociously awful, there's the Klingon Christmas Carol being performed right now at Mixed Blood!

http://www.cbtheatre.org/KCC2009/KCC2009.htm

Re:Klingon Christmas Carol

[TheTrollToll]

the mixed blood theater is in the business of atrocities... i went there once to see "don Quixote de la minne" basically its don Quixote with a bunch of Minnesota references... and crazy ladies in white robes running around nonsensically. we were forced to see it in a college art appreciation class afterward my teacher apologized for how awful it was.

Re:Klingon Christmas Carol

[hansamurai]

I've seen the Star Wars Holiday Special and that actually sounds a lot more interesting than it. Prairie Home Quixote.

Re:Klingon Christmas Carol

[TheTrollToll]

Unfortunately at the time of "Prarie Home Quixote" i had no frame of reference for bad entertainment (having not seen the star wars holiday special yet) i just assumed that was the worst. When you haven't seen the bottom you don't know how much farther you can sink.

Most of us have seem this already

[Anonymous Coward]

It seems to me that most of us should have seen this by now. If, like me, you were old enough to watch it on tv when it originally aired (but not to old to realize how crappy it was) you were blown away (especially by the cartoon portions - and don't pretend you weren't. It was the talk for weeks to come). As for anyone else, a horrible multi-generational vhs rip has been floating around the net for years. It may be horrible, but damn it is funny to watch.

tauntaun

[jDeepbeep]

For those of you awaking in your tauntaun right now

As a matter of fact, I was.

Re:tauntaun

[Tetsujin]

For those of you awaking in your tauntaun right now

As a matter of fact, I was.

Yeah, Me too!

Who's laughing now?

[cloudnin]

Whenever I try to share some of my Malla and Lumpy centric Star Wars fanfic with people, they always turn me down and say something like, "The Star Wars Christmas Special doesn't exist, George Lucas even said so," or, "The events of the Christmas Special aren't canonical." Well, who's laughing now, fuckers?

Re:Who's laughing now?

[TheTrollToll]

Aren't canonical...just what could that mean?? The Letter of Clement I and The Gospel of Thomas... those arent canonical. The starwars christmas special is just bad.

Great

[l3ert]

This might be just whats needed to eliminate fans that somehow survived the prequels!

Re:Great

[Anonymous Coward]

Gahhhhhh!

Don't suggest prequels. The last thing we need is a backstory version of the special.

Star Wars Christmas Special?

[flabordec]

Curiously I just realized that this masterpiece existed yesterday. The Nostalgia Critic sort of promised to review it next week in his He-Man and She-Ra review and I had to Google it to see if it really happened.

To think I used to think of myself as a Star Wars nerd... :(

Of course it still exists

[leamanc]

It has been on bootleg video since the day after it aired. It was somewhat hard to track down in the days before the Interwebs, but it's very easily found these days.

The real question here, which we can't get answered because there is no link, is what kind of screening are they holding? Something from the master tapes, or a DVD-R bootleg hooked to a digital projector?

Re:Of course it still exists

[EEBaum]

I highly doubt the master tapes still exist. If they do, they exist in some movie studio employee's secret basement, safely hidden from the wrath of Lucas.

It's like, how much more bad could this be?

[rubmytummy]

The answer is none. None more bad.

George Lucas on the Holiday Special

[Qbertino]

Excerpt from Interview:
MAXIM: "Any plans for a Special Edition of the Holiday Special?"
George Lucas: [hangs head] "Right. That's one of those things that happened, and I just have to live with it."

Hehe.

Re:George Lucas on the Holiday Special

[EkriirkE]

Excerpt from Interview: MAXIM: "Any plans for a Special Edition of the Prequel Trilogy?" George Lucas: [hangs head] "Right. That's one of those things that happened, and I just have to live with it."

Hehe.

Fixed that for you.

Re:The plot - Warning: SPOILERS

[Anonymous Coward]

Nope.

Star Wars Christmas Special was still worse.

Help me Google Video, you're my only hope!

[jongalbreath]

For those not local to Minneapolis, there's Google Video! http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=323909610753051544#

Re:Help me Google Video, you're my only hope!

[Anonymous Coward]

Dear lord, I was dumbfounded with astonished horror during the opening credits.

"With Chewbacca's father, Itchy!"
"And his son, Lumpy!"

It's going to be a grueling two hours, isn't it?

Star Wars Canon

[AlbinoClock]

There are six legitimate installments of Star Wars canon. A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Caravan of Courage, The Battle for Endor, and The Star Wars Christmas Special.

Re:Star Wars Canon

[Fujisawa Sensei]

There are six legitimate installments of Star Wars canon. A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Caravan of Courage, The Battle for Endor, and The Star Wars Christmas Special.

Which version of "A New Hope " is canon?

Re:Star Wars Canon

[Tetsujin]

There are six legitimate installments of Star Wars canon. A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, Caravan of Courage, The Battle for Endor, and The Star Wars Christmas Special.

You forgot the Timothy Zahn novels.

Re:Star Wars Canon

[Opportunist]

All of them of course.

What do you mean, "contradicting each other"? Didn't bother anyone with the bible, did it?

Re:Star Wars Canon

[Anonymous Coward]

I count most of the Tales of the Jedi comics and some of the Stackpole X-Wing books, too.

I really want to count that trilogy (Jedi Academy trilogy I think people call it, or something like that) that K.J. Anderson wrote, too, since it provides a convenient end-point for the story and everything after it is pretty much unreadable, but, though better than much of what comes after it, it's still so bad...

Re:Star Wars Canon

[AlbinoClock]

The one with the force field under the speeders.

Re:Star Wars Canon

[Fujisawa Sensei]

All of them of course.

What do you mean, "contradicting each other"? Didn't bother anyone with the bible, did it?

It bothered a lot of people, just not anybody called a Christian.

hey...

[nimbius]

I for one loved the christmas special star wars and eagerly await its release to 3d blu-ray you insensitive clod!

The bad story trifecta...

[damn_registrars]

Congrats, Taco, you have reached new heights in bad story accomplishments:

• Meaningless headline - could George Lucas have somehow erased it from existence? I don't even think a Jedi master could accomplish that
• No link or meaningful information in the headline - where in Minneapolis? and when?
• Poorly written summary - do you have something against capitalization now?

Although I guess if the point is to emphasize just how bad the Star Wars Holiday Special really was, then that may have helped slightly. Though if it is so bad you aren't willing to give a summary that is worth squat, then why even put it on the front page?

Re:The bad story trifecta...

[MobileTatsu-NJG]

Though if it is so bad you aren't willing to give a summary that is worth squat, then why even put it on the front page?

Because Slashdot served an ad when you clicked 'reply'.

Re:The bad story trifecta...

[Anonymous Coward]

Meaningless headline - could George Lucas have somehow erased it from existence? I don't even think a Jedi master could accomplish that

It's amazing how many terrific films have been partially or completely lost to time. I mean films that were blockbusters, films that were critically lauded, and even some pretty well-known indie movies that made ten best lists less than twenty years ago. Every once in a while you hear about something like a large missing chunk of Metropolis showing up in Argentina, and you're reminded of what else is missing.

Once you start talking about TV, though, having the entirety of a one-time special that was poorly received is a bit of a surprise (if Lucas didn't put any effort in to having it saved). The odds of it surviving go down significantly as you go back towards the beginnings of broadcast TV, and if Star Wars had been made only a few years prior (and, again, if Lucas didn't care) then it would have been entirely dependent on the studio to save the footage. Go farther back and you find shows that had audience shares that are simply unimaginable today, where only a few episodes or even just a few sundry clips are all that's left of them.

Re:The bad story trifecta...

[damn_registrars]

Once you start talking about TV, though, having the entirety of a one-time special that was poorly received is a bit of a surprise (if Lucas didn't put any effort in to having it saved). The odds of it surviving go down significantly as you go back towards the beginnings of broadcast TV, and if Star Wars had been made only a few years prior (and, again, if Lucas didn't care) then it would have been entirely dependent on the studio to save the footage.

Allow me to point back to the craptacular summary/headline here (thanks again Taco), which stated only that it "still exists". There was no mention of how good the quality was, or where it came from. It is well known that there are many copies floating around on VHS that people recorded themselves. There is no indication yet of where the theater planning to show this obtained their copy from.

That's inhuman!

[Minwee]

Fans of "Star Wars" have a chance to see a free screening of the notoriously bad "Star Wars Holiday Special" next week in Minneapolis.

Couldn't they just be covered with honey and tied to an ant hill? Or forced to watch the Uwe Boll Film Festival with their eyes propped open while listening to loud Beethoven music? Why make them watch the Star Wars Holiday Special?

Related?

[aarenz]

There is a riff track special also being played through a simulcast at marcus theatres in the wisconsin area. http://www.marcustheatres.com/Movie/MovieDetail/63178

Not sure if this is related directly or not, but it is the MST3K guys.

Admiral Akbar sez:

[thedbp]

It's a trap!

Re:Admiral Akbar sez:

[Tetsujin]

Your tongues can't repel flavor of that magnitude!

Saw it Live!

[Dan East]

I saw this "live" when first broadcast. I was 6. I had the Star Wars movie soundtrack on LP record which I listened to many, many times, because we had no way of watching the actual movie unless it was playing at a theater.

So the TV show was just a dose of that universe for me at that age, like throwing a puppy a bone. So of course I liked it - I just wanted to see those characters, regardless of what they were doing.

But here's the odd part. Where I was so young when I saw that, and only saw it once, I would have these vague memories about watching Star Wars on TV. I knew that couldn't be, because Star Wars was never on TV, and because there were specific scenes I remembered that weren't even from the movie. Fairly recently (like in the last 5 years or so) I saw a reference to that special (probably here on Slashdot) and then it all fell in place.

And yes, it really sucked bad. Like a bad blend of taking fictional characters and pulling them into a contemporary environment (1978). It totally destroyed the illusion that so many movie exist to create. Like watching R2D2's top removed and see some little guy lifted out.

Re:Saw it Live!

[Kiyyik]

I know exactly what you mean! For years--YEARS--I'd remember the cantina scene in which the guy with the funnel for a head would pour a drink straight in, and every time I saw the movie I would watch carefully, trying to catch that bit and never able to. When I finally saw the SWHS again and saw that it was just Harvey Kormann, it was like a burden lifted off my shoulders: no wonder I'd never been able to catch that bit in the movie--it was never IN the movie! But that was weird, watching it the first time, eh? I was 6 also at the time, and I forgot most of it, just from time to time having these weird little clips in my head: the four-armed chef (Kormann again!?) and the announcer at the beginning saying "And R2 D2, as R2 D2!" Strange how things stick in the mind.

Re:Saw it Live!

[Anonymous Coward]

I too saw it when I was 6 or 7. I too remember liking it. We were the target demographic for this show. I havent seen it since. So it is probably as bad as everyone says it is. The thing is MOST childrens programming is bad. Like 'why on earth did someone write this trash' bad. Yet kids love it because they probably do not know any better... We see it now thru the lens of time for the trash that it is. I have many shows like this. I go back and watch them now and wonder what the hell I was thinking back then.

Re:Saw it Live!

[Anonymous Coward]

The same thing happened to me w/ spaceballs, for years I thought John Candy was the wookie...

Boba Fett

[ianmkz]

Before we say something we later regret, we should consider that without the Star Wars Holiday Special there would be no Boba Fett.

Re:Boba Fett

[Tetsujin]

Before we say something we later regret, we should consider that without the Star Wars Holiday Special there would be no Boba Fett.

Right, 'cause it's not like he made any other appearances...

It's a creole

[tepples]

Or if that's not possible, redub his voice so he sounds normal instead of racist.

The language of the Gungans is mutually intelligible with Galactic Basic but different in ways much like the ways that various English-based creoles like Tok Pisin differ from English. What's so dishonorable about that?

This show was so bad...

[Recovery1]

This show was so bad that it is what you warn kids about so they will grow up to have sensible careers like toe surgeons and test subjects for clinical trials instead of film makers and TV producers.

Re:This show was so bad...

[Opportunist]

For me it was more "See, Chewie didn't eat his broccoli and now has to appear in that show!"

Really really really bad

[Thangodin]

I've seen it. It's bad. Really bad. I think this is what drove Carrie Fisher to do drugs. She was in it, and she had to say the lines, and the lines were bad even by Lucas standards, and I cringed with every word. It was torture by proxy; what Jabba did to Leia was nothing compared to what Lucas did to Fisher in that special...

Re:Really really really bad

[Skuld-Chan]

Actually it felt like they pulled Carrie out of rehab for the episode. There's several scenes where she staggers onto the set.

Re:Really really really bad

[Anonymous Coward]

Are you saying that it will take Star Wars fans a thousand years to digest TSWHS?

I remember watching this live on TV as a kid.

[maillemaker]

I remember watching this "live" on TV as a kid, and being so disappointed. Our parents had been telling us for days that "Star Wars is going to be on TV!" and of course that wasn't what it was at all.

It's funny - back then - this was before even VCRs - we absolutely PINED for some things to finally come to TV. Now any time you want to watch something you just pop in a DVD and plop yourself on the couch. Times have changed.

Re:I remember watching this live on TV as a kid.

[Saint Stephen]

I saw it the first time and loved it. (Very young kid).

Pretty sure I read somewhere

[jitterman]

that back when he was the Surgeon General, C. Everett Coop said that if you were forced to choose between seeing SWHS once or taking up smoking for a lifetime, go for the latter.

Not mutually intelligible

[SteveFoerster]

Who says English-based creoles are mutually intelligible with English? Jamaican patois sure as hell isn't. Neither is Cocoy, spoken on Dominica by descendants of migrants from Antigua.

Re:Not mutually intelligible

[tepples]

Who says English-based creoles are mutually intelligible with English?

Then Gungan happens to have borrowed enough from Basic, possibly after creolization, that they are. I'm not a professional linguist (and I suspect neither is George Lucas), so what I say isn't precise; it's just another possibility other than assuming racism on Lucas's part.

Damn you all to HELL!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

My parents spent a shit load of money on psychologists helping me to repress the memory of this crappy show. And it worked, till now. I had completely repressed and forgotten this piece of SHIT.

FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCK!!! for bring this back. Now I'm going to have to relive my childhood nightmares, again.

I hope you rot in hell.

After reading this story...

[Anonymous Coward]

...another 1 million Star Wars fans fall as victims to crappiness.

SWHS v. SCCM

[DarthSensate]

I've seen this. But I wonder if Santa Claus Conquers the Martians wasn't more mind wrenching-ly horrible. I've been afflicted by both so I am in no position to judge. Now that I think about it, though, was there any singing in SCCM?

Re:SWHS v. SCCM

[jimbobborg]

was there any singing in SCCM?

Only the theme song, which is now stuck in my head, you bastard!

Re:SWHS v. SCCM

[Anonymous Coward]

remember "Hooray for sant-ee claus! chachacha!"?
Yeah, thanks for reminding me.

Re:SWHS v. SCCM

[Tetsujin]

I've seen this. But I wonder if Santa Claus Conquers the Martians wasn't more mind wrenching-ly horrible. I've been afflicted by both so I am in no position to judge. Now that I think about it, though, was there any singing in SCCM?

Oh, how easily you forget...

Let me refresh your memory. Santa's at the North Pole, preparing for Christmas. He's got a cozy little sweatshop filled with broad cultural stereotypes of children from all around the world... As the narrator tells us all about the different nations from which Santa has plucked his indentured workforce, each one gets to sing a little song...

Still, I'd take Santa Claus Conquers the Martians over the Star Wars Holiday Special any day. In my book SCCM is "so bad it's good", while the Star Wars Holiday Special is so bad it's painful...

Re:SWHS v. SCCM

[Anonymous Coward]

Oh, how easily you forget...

Let me refresh your memory. Santa's at the North Pole, preparing for Christmas. He's got a cozy little sweatshop filled with broad cultural stereotypes of children from all around the world... As the narrator tells us all about the different nations from which Santa has plucked his indentured workforce, each one gets to sing a little song...

Still, I'd take Santa Claus Conquers the Martians over the Star Wars Holiday Special any day. In my book SCCM is "so bad it's good", while the Star Wars Holiday Special is so bad it's painful...

That wasn't Santa Claus Conquers the Martians! What you are describing was the foreign (Central American?) movie where Santa lives in a space station/magical cloud with his aforementioned child slaves and a devil tries to stop him delivering toys one Christmas. SCCM had a pre-teen Pia Zadora, a dopey green guy named Dropo (SP?) AKA "The Laziest man on Mars", a silver card-board robot that made the one in Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy look acceptable, and a plot to enliven the listless children of Mars by kid-napping Old St. Nick. However, both it and SCCM were on MST3K, and I suppose they both could be considered "so bad it's good", so I can understand the confusion.

DARN YOU, jongalbreath!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Darn you, jongalbreath! Darn you to heck!

You just *had* to post that link, which just *had* to be slightly better quality than my copy, which just *had* to make me download it again, which just *had* to mean that I bloody opened it!

It took me until Lumpy and Itchy to recover from the shock enough to shut the thing off. It was our December pizza buffet day, too, and now I may not be able to eat even two pizzas!

Again, I say, darn you! Oh, and thanks for the link. I downloaded the nice MP4 provided, so now I have a better copy to inflict on unsuspecting enemies. :D

Re:DARN YOU, jongalbreath!!!

[jongalbreath]

Yes, I have a copy that I carry around on my iPhone for just such an emergency. If I'm ever mugged or kidnapped, I'll surely be released once I start up this mess. I tried watching it again but couldn't even make to the first commercial break before I considered killing myself. George should be proud of it though, since it's STILL better than Jar Jar Binks.

Excellent Headline...

[X86Daddy]

... I mean that seriously. I kinda wish the mainstream media would use similar statements to headline their articles and news blurbs:

• Anna Nichole Smith is still dead
• A famous sports guy had sex with women
• A GOP politician turned out to be gay
• Our president said some stuff, but nothing has actually happened
• A little white girl was kidnapped

I might actually tune in if they were dead-pan ridiculously honest about the crap they shovel.

Long Live the Wookies.

[popeye44]

I have had this for awhile. I'm guessing from someones old VHS recording. It's fairly sad, You could point at about 30 specials from that era and say much the same.

Pac Man

[Anonymous Coward]

I have not seen this, but I can't believe it could possibly be worse than the Pac Man Christmas Special

Disturbing

[zigmeister]

I think the really disturbing part of it is the youtube video of the first part of it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCNGjKnTzaQ is probably the only youtube video ever with comments that are passable English and somewhat intelligent.

The Black Hole of Cheese

[Hoi Polloi]

I strongly recommend watching this show from the back rows because it is so awful that space and time actually collapse into a singularity on the screen. Those in the front rows risk sitting within the event horizon and will have to watch it for all eternity.

There is definitely something worse from Star Wars

[Hurricane78]

And I’m not even sure it’s what’s depicted in this image here: ^^

http://pictureisunrelated.com/2009/09/15/if-i-have-to-live-with-this-image-so-do-you/

(As it says: If I have to live with this image, so do you. ;)

It Can't be worse than....

[Zarf_is_with_you]

It really can't be worse than Mark Hamill on the Muppet Show can it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMPdDa90pLY

The Force is not with this video.

Re:It Can't be worse than....

[Tetsujin]

It really can't be worse than Mark Hamill on the Muppet Show can it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMPdDa90pLY

The bit with him running around in character was kind of dumb but otherwise it seemed like a fun bit...

Yes, I would say the Star Wars Holiday Special is infinitely worse.

Re:There is definitely something worse from Star W

[Zarf_is_with_you]

Ok You win, that is worse than anything I have seen.

Lame page

[Animats]

The link in the article is an excellent example of how to make your web page load slowly by making it wait for slow ad servers. I gave up after 15 seconds.

And people wonder why the print media can't succeed on line.

MEERRRRRRRROOOARRRRRMRRRRRRR

[Viewsonic]

MRrrrrrrrr Mrrrrrroooorrrr MemmmmmmmrrrrrrRReRRRRRRR?

MRROOOOOOOOOAR!!! MMRRREEEEAAAR

*10 minutes of this*

MRRRRRRREAAERROORRR. MREAAAROONGRRRRRR.

Re:MEERRRRRRRROOOARRRRRMRRRRRRR

[danger42]

Those are Harvey Korman's lines?

Can anyone possibly justify this?

[E. Edward Grey]

I swear to God, there is like 20 straight minutes of nothing but Wookiee language being spoken.

I was stoned when I saw it, and I think that made it even worse.

It could be worse...

[Anonymous Coward]

They could be having a free showing of Episode I.

Corrections

[Tetsujin]

William Shatner: Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes...And she's gone. [weird echo effect]

It's more like:

"Look for the GIRL? With the SUN IN HER EYES?? .. ANDSHE'SGONEGONEGONEGONEgonegonegone..."

Re:Corrections

[Anonymous Coward]

This is exactly right and I am happy to stand corrected.

Holy crap

[proton]

Noone is kidding, it IS bad. Give me a second to tippex out bad in my dictionary and replace it with star wars holiday special.

Available on Google Video

[Anonymous Coward]

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=323909610753051544#

Darths & Droids

[mlush]

Darths & Droids makes a much better job of making sense of 1 and 2 I've long thought that TPM played like an OK RPG campaign FX the whole podracing thing happened because the GM had picked up some racing boardgame and was itching to use it.

Not the worst TV ever produced

[Anonymous Coward]

Nothing brings out the Christmas spirit like watching what may very well be the worst TV ever produced.

The Star Wars Holiday Special (known hereforto as "POS") is hardly the worst television ever made. I've actually seen Ellen Degeneres' talk show. Let's compare, shall we?

POS: has wookies
Ellen: Ellen looks like a wookie

POS: has bad acting
Ellen: have you ever seen her work? She can't act

POS: has Bea Arthur (but her "personality" redeems her to some extent)
Ellen: has Ellen

POS: Has Bea Arthur singing
Ellen: Okay, Ellen has one on POS

Okay, so given that three out of four criteria lean toward Ellen's show being worse than POS, I have to state the fact: although POS is very painful to watch, it is quality programming compared to Ellen's drivel.

I watched for less than 5 min and it made me cry

[Anonymous Coward]

After reading the relevant XKCD strip and having never heard of SWHS before, I though "How bad can it be?".

Now I clicked your link and watched less than 5 minutes. My eyes filled with tears (not those of joy). I decided to stop watching.

Tomorrow, I'll be spending the night with my friends, we will drink heavily, etc... There I shall suggest that we watch this... It will be an interesting night.

Brings Back Memories

[CaptainChuck]

I remember what I was doing during that broadcast. I had a brand new VCR set to record. The show had started while I was driving home from work. I had my analog car radio tunes to the show's audio but couldn't make any sense of the Wookie talk. Guess I didn't miss much on that segment. Some of the other segments are worth watching. I still have that VHS tape. I've captured it, even made a DVD out of it. I may make another sometime, this time leave the commercials and newscast in place (with chapter stops). I would buy a broadcast quality DVD if it were available.

I 3 Slashdot

[ink]

I love Slashdot. Where else can the cultural merits of the Star Wars Holiday Special be compared to transcendental truth and the entire hope of a species?

Yes. In a different sort of way.

[wiredog]

I mean, you don't have robots in the amusement park, but you do have Carrie Fisher on coke.

Ahh this makes sense now!

[agentc0re]

So this is why the Empire wanted to kill the Rebels.... Shit, I've been rooting for the wrong side the whole damn time!

can't be worse than ep1

[Anonymous Coward]

Ok I haven't seen this since it came out so my memory is fuzzy but it can't be worse than ep1 even the Ewok adventure movies were better than ep1 ...

I'm going to have to find a torrent for this one so I can watch it again ..

part I of cartoon portion

[Anonymous Coward]

I saw part of the cartoon version here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4p9oIrjT9Q

This doesn't seem like the bad part...I guess Leia singing and such must be terrible....

Was this the first appearance of Boba Fett? I didn't remember him from the original movie, and this was from 1978.

I made booboo

[timlyg]

Some crews got too much time to spare and made some booboo behind Lucas' back when he's not around on the set.

It wasn't me

[conureman]

AFAIK the over- & under- mods are karma neutral, I use 'em to make threshold adjustments when I don't want to reflect a karma judgment. All my mods are as fact/opinion neutral as possible. I do use a little bias regarding logged-in vs: AC posts, I tend to be a little more lenient of registered users, and weigh intent more heavily when evaluating posts, to conserve (most folks) karma. ACs have a much higher threshold of funny to get a bump, also. The idea is to make the site more interesting and amusing, and less offensive, for un-logged-in or high-threshold users, whatever their divergent opinions or points-of-view. I never studied rhetoric, but a well-meant, clear and concise statement of incorrectness deserves rebuttal and correction rather than negation, IMO. This issue is a reflection of society at large; An awful lot of well-meaning, but unqualified, people making things less than they should be, whilst the spammers and vandals do egregious and disproportionate damage, and heroic coders seek new algorithms in the fight.
Ethnic stereotypes DO indeed exist, as do people who speak in creoles and pidgins of their colonizers' language. I don't recall Jar-Jar craving watermelon, or anything that seemed overtly racist to me, but perhaps my antennae are tuned incorrectly.

Re: Tmesis

[Anonymous Coward]

Weird, but not incorrect.

Re:Slave-owner

[Anonymous Coward]

Toydarian?

I am shamed...

[Tetsujin]

You're right, I did get the movies mixed up... How embarrassing...