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IT Calls of Shame
snydeq writes "InfoWorld's JR Raphael offers up six memorable tales of trouble and triumph from the tech support desk. 'Working in tech support is a bit like teaching preschool: You're an educator who provides reassurance in troubling times. You share knowledge and help others overcome their obstacles. And some days, it feels like all you hear is screaming, crying, and incoherent babble.' Pronoun problems, IT ghosts, the runaway mouse — when it comes to computers, the customer isn't always right."
All you lusers can just wait on hold for a few minutes while I submit this.
Have gnu, will travel.
Working in tech support is a bit like teaching preschool: (blah blah removed)
Rather than the blah blah, from memory it seemed more like changing diapers, over and over and over and occasionally breaking up inter-sibling rivalry. It was excellent training for parenthood.
"Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
http://thedailywtf.com/
AccountKiller
To a large extent the cloud is built for these people. And it solves most of the IT problems. They literally can't screw it up because they don't have the power to screw it up.
Half the time there's a problem it's the "Oh" "Ehn" switch. In about 99.9 percent of other cases the user did something to break it. Restrict users from being able to do bad things and most problems go away. Sure, there are legitimate IT problems occasionally but they're relatively rare.
I've decided to stop wasting my time responding to AC trolls/sockpuppets... so if you want a response from me... login.
here
Seriously, why can't we just do this for every article?
"Please replace user, and try again."
Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
"Hello IT......Have you tried turning it off and on again? Yeah....no problem."
Please send them my way. My compay will thrive with the new business. I treat customers right, which usually results in new transactions from the same customers. Whuch, in turn, recommend my business to their friends/family/co-workers.
But hey, it's much easier to blame tough times on stupid customers and Obama (obviously).
As far as #2 goes, I've been partially deaf since my toddler years and it really does help a lot if women are able to lower their voices. Most people just try to talk louder, but if you have a higher pitch (like most women), then deepening your voice will be a much more significant improvement over talking louder.
http://v.cdn.cad-comic.com/comics/cad-20060407-7421d.jpg
there's another one with an AOL user but I can't find it right now
A friend worked at a brick-and-mortar that sold computers. He came back from work one day and shared that the "any key" stories are true. He said he watched a customer leave and call back a few hours later. He watched the salesman for that customer get on the phone, listen, and then say "the 'any key', that's the big long one on the bottom without a label".
http://www.infoworld.com/print/190061
Ma'am, can you put your 10 year old grandson on the phone, thank you!
-- By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.
to diagnose why an IBM PS/2 wouldn't boot after they'd moved it --- I tried to get them to diagnose the problem over the phone / read off what was on the screen, but they refused, so I drove over, walked up to the door of the office in question, saw the error message (I think it was 101) on the screen, announced, ``You've switched the plugs for the mouse and keyboard. Do you want to pay the 1 hr. minimum for me to swap the connections for you?''
Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow.
In most ways, this is true. Too many stories have come out about people screeeeaming at tech support, only to realize the computer isn't plugged in.
However, I had a recent experience with Verizon support when I wanted to ban an IP address from emailing me; I'm not the most tech-savvy in the universe, and everyone here could've probably done it themselves in seconds, but I knew the basics, anyway. I went to every forum, yahoo! help section, whatever else to find a way to stop getting these awful emails from someone using an IP-masking/dummy-email service; most used MY email as the 'sender'. The content of the messages, ones I'd get literally hundreds of in one day at some points, would make me physically ill. When I'd had enough, I hit 'full header', got the IP and zeroed in on where it was coming from. I called Verizon and started a help session, where the guy helping me took control of my computer.
TS: Okay, what we will do is block the email address sending these to you--
Me: No, no, I want the IP blocked. This one. *mouses around to show IP*
TS: Okay. *pause* So, you want these emails to stop.
Me: Yes, I want the IP blocked. I read a forum saying to contact your internet service provider to find ways to block the IP.
TS: Okay. *pause* But we can block the email address, which will--
Me: No. No, okay... look... *takes control again* THIS is the website this person sending me these abusive emails is using. THIS is the website's IP address. When I get the emails, each one has the same IP, because they're USING this service's IP to harass me. Look, they're using MY email address as a 'dummy'; blocking the email address means I'm blocking MY email address. *clicks full header from two different emails* See? These are alllll being sent from the same IP. This is a site people use when they want to abuse someone without being found out. Watch. *demonstrates by sending an email to herself from the service being used (probably not the best idea in the universe, but he was NOT. GETTING. IT.)* See?
TS: Ohhhhhhhhhh. Yes. It's not the email you want blocked, but the IP.
Me: *looks to husband and shakes her head very slowly*
There I am, a total amateur, telling a guy being paid to NOT be an idiot what I wanted done. No matter how many times I told him that forums and tech-guides all suggested getting your internet provider to help block IPs, he couldn't grasp the idea. I don't know if that IS possible, so I'm giving up on some aspects of tech support and just going to my brother, who, at eight-years old, outdid the instructor at the 'Computer Camp' he was enrolled in. Kinda sick of being so newbish when it comes to this stuff. I told him yesterday at my parent's Easter dinner he was going to teach me everything he knew. We're both kinda psyched.
You want to know how to help your kids? LEAVE THEM THE F*&K ALONE. --George Carlin
I've always thought working in IT was more like being with a beautiful abusive spouse than anything else.
When times are good, they are really good. You're happy, you're content, and you want the world to know that you love this job.
But when things are bad, they are really bad. You get the shit knocked out of you for the smallest things. You learn little rituals and laundry lists of rules and behaviors that you have to engage it, because you're afraid to get hit again. Of course, some days the mood is just wrong and you're going to get it no matter what.
When you do finally decide that you've had enough, and you turn your back on IT, all you can remember is the beautiful amazing job that you suddenly don't have and it takes every ounce of willpower not to go crawling back. Oh, sure, you know that IT has a history of this sort of thing. Life will be great for a couple of weeks then suddenly it will go back to a living hell, but you think... hey, I'm older and wiser now. Maybe IT has changed. Maybe I can change IT.
But IT never changes.
kinda reminds me of this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOqfPG1ohKw
True tech-support story, on my part.
Customer calls complaining that she can't start her computer (she's in her late 70s), so I go through the usual culprits: power cord, disconnected video cable, etc.
Then I try to walk her through the BIOS to check a few minor issues, that's when my diagnosis of the problem come to fruition: Her monitor was powered off and she's been hitting the power button repeatedly on the CPU. (facepalm and fast thinking ensues).
I have her turn on the power on her monitor, then the CPU and her world returns to proper balance. (accepts the golf-applause demurely). She asks what the button on her monitor does, so without wanting to hurt her feelings and obliquely inform her, "That initializes part of the video system, so make sure that one is turned on first. You can check by seeing if the light on the monitor is on, either yellow or green is fine. That has to be on first before you turn on the rest of the computer."
Never had such a grateful customer in my life. :)
Just goes to show, a carefully tweaked white lie can give you a LOT of mileage!
None of those stories were remotely amusing.
I once worked on my next-door-neighbor's computer to solve a printer problem. The printer was not connected, and he didn't know what kind of cable he needed. I found a spare USB cable that would fit. I felt it was odd that his USB connections were so far down at the bottom of the back of his case, but I've seen a lot of odd cases. I downloaded the drivers and installed them, nothing unusual; the printer was soon working normally. My delighted neighbor and asked me if I could check the computer's CD drive. He told me that the last time he had tried to use it, the CDs just kept sliding right off the drawer each time he tried to load it. I was surprised to find that the CD drive was at the very bottom of the front of the case. Curious, I tried to find the maker's name. It was LLED, except the letters were written backwards.
It was a very easy fix, I can tell you. I managed to get everything set, and get out of his apartment and back into mine before I burst out laughing. I told my girlfriend about the mysterious DELL computer case I had just seen and how I had fixed my neighbor's computer simply by flipping it right side up.
She refused to believe that anyone could be that stupid, but there you have it.
As soon as I read those words, I got an instant migraine and my back started hurting too.
In story #1, why was the tech's computer powered up, logged in to the network, and not locked? That's the only way someone could walk up to it and access 'My Computer'. Sorry, I call BS.
This has been a test. If this had been an actual Sig, you would have been amused.
Geek industry makes crap OS the king.
Geeks get upset when people have trouble with the crap OS.
World hates geeks with complete justification.
I'll share my own store of tech support blues...
Back in the day, I worked at a dial-up ISP. I was working in tech support, and working in the PC-Repair office, and while most calls were the "Your caps lock is on" and "The power is out, wait for it to turn on" issues. There were some fun with the PC-Repair office (Coffee stains in the CD Load-tray (the stories are true!), or the "I never used antivirus! I know what I'm doing" people that tended to wind up on our "Maleware Count High Score" board.
One day I took a call from a lady that said she couldn't send and receive email. She said she was on her cell phone so I had her walk through trying to get the email and get the error message - 680: No dial tone. So I asked her to make sure the phone cord is plugged in to the computer and the wall. She said her laptop didn't need to be plugged in using a phone cord. Well now I'm thinking she had a wireless network setup and about to go through those settings, when I noticed the sound in the background.... Traffic. She and her husband was in the middle of the road. She insisted that she could unplug everything and still get her email while on the freeway before. Ends up that laptop was their only computer (no home wireless). I told her she could send/receive email when she connects to a phone line again, but she demanded to talk to my manager, who confirmed everything I said. She ended up stating she would look for other services that would know how their systems run better... I checked a couple of months later and her account was still active. Guess no other dial-up internet company offered a hundred mile long phone cord.
if (it != oneThing) it = another;
> "... and refuses to let you do anything but change the cable?"
I tell them I don't believe it will help at all, but I'm glad to sell them a new one if that is what they want. Wait....
1 - Offer new Anti-Virus USB cable
2 - ???
3 - Profit!
Place nail here >+
"Who would have thought?"
wow
:/
I like microcars
sorry! hope I didn't ruin it for someone...
I like microcars
A USB cable won't work well in an Ethernet port (although USB-B does fit surprisingly well), so it should do a good job of preventing infections from over the network.
My fav was a lady that called in and told me "My computer is talking" (this was in 1997) I asked what it was saying she stated it was "whispering" so I said put the phone by it and I heard "If you would like to make a call please hung up and try again" it was her modem speaker.
The other one that comes to mind is the guy who stated his mouse didn't work, after talking to him for a bit I figured out he had it upside down, yes upside down, the part where your palm goes on the mouse pad.
"If any question why we died, Tell them because our fathers lied."
The telephone system sucks for older people or people with some hearing loss. I am sure there was a good reason to make the frequency range so small, but as older people are expected to do everything they same as they always did, it becomes more of a problem. Fortunately there is Skype with is a lifesaver.
As far as everything else, support, like teaching, is about asking questions and assuming nothing. It is hard because the other person thinks they are being talked down to, but then some people cannot be helped.
"She's a scientist and a lesbian. She's not going to let it slide." Orphan Black
Sometimes you have to fire a customer.
I was debugging some code while the client was trying to get his copier to print properly. It was one of those large office copiers with equally large bottles of toner (gallon size). They decided to try shaking the bottle of toner (upside down of coarse) to break up any clumps, but forgot to put a cap on the nearly full bottle. I learned that large volumes of toner has impressive flowing properties, in a "get me the hell away from that flood" sort of way, and that vacuuming it is not very effective (goes right through the filters). It was years before they finally eliminated the toner from all its hiding places. Funny as hell anyway.
Who would win this election: Andrew Weiner vs Andrew Weiner's weiner.
I'll share my own store of tech support blues... Back in the day, I worked at a dial-up ISP. I was working in tech support, and working in the PC-Repair office, and while most calls were the "Your caps lock is on" and "The power is out, wait for it to turn on" issues. There were some fun with the PC-Repair office (Coffee stains in the CD Load-tray (the stories are true!), or the "I never used antivirus! I know what I'm doing" people that tended to wind up on our "Maleware Count High Score" board. One day I took a call from a lady that said she couldn't send and receive email. She said she was on her cell phone so I had her walk through trying to get the email and get the error message - 680: No dial tone. So I asked her to make sure the phone cord is plugged in to the computer and the wall. She said her laptop didn't need to be plugged in using a phone cord. Well now I'm thinking she had a wireless network setup and about to go through those settings, when I noticed the sound in the background.... Traffic. She and her husband was in the middle of the road. She insisted that she could unplug everything and still get her email while on the freeway before. Ends up that laptop was their only computer (no home wireless). I told her she could send/receive email when she connects to a phone line again, but she demanded to talk to my manager, who confirmed everything I said. She ended up stating she would look for other services that would know how their systems run better... I checked a couple of months later and her account was still active. Guess no other dial-up internet company offered a hundred mile long phone cord.
I work for a major audio industry product manufacturer and one of our technical support running jokes revolves around our technical support for wireless headphones. Like all wireless headphones, these headphones need to plug into the wall for power and of course need to be plugged into an audio source (TV, computer, etc.).
I have lost count of how many times our techs have asked customers on the other end of the phone, "Do you have it plugged into the wall and/or audio source?" and we are met with the ubiquitous response, "Of course I didn't plug it in, these are WIRELESS headphones."..... /sigh
FireWire 800 cables fit in the Ethernet port and Apple puts the two next to each other. If you're not looking, it's easy to plug the FW800 cable into the Ethernet port and wonder why nothing is happening.
I am TheRaven on Soylent News
Don't forget computer vo0doo.
You were the last person to work on my computer and that was 4 years ago. It has been working perfectly, I have installed no new software, I have made no changes. Ha! now it is not working and it is something that YOU did 4 years ago that is causing the problem. Fix it NOW and fix it for FREE.
Yes, you are the hoodoo with the voodoo. Magically something you did 4 years back has kept the computer running beautifully for 4 years, then all of a sudden "poof" it has broken everything. Links don't open, and the computer runs slow.
Do I even need to mention that on a computer with NO software installs in 4 years, now has 10 browser bars and Add/Remove programs shows Smiley Central was installed 2 days ago.
vi +
Seriously. I can't decide which is worse - listening to a moron half a world a way read a scripted response in some sort of broken indecipherable semi-English or listening to a moron in my own country read a scripted response in some sort of broken indecipherable semi-English. Is that the only choices that IT can provide?
And what is with you IT guys putting your own failings on the end-users? Can any of you strip and repair a transmission from a tractor? Can you even explain how it works? What!? Are you idiots? How about doing a simple surgery? Can you provide an accurate forecast of economic activity in a given sector? No? I guess that makes you dumb.
Hmmmm... It almost looks like the case where almost every person has a talent and most people are competent at what they are trained at and not so much competent at what they aren't. How about we lay off the "dumb end-user" stories. IT uses them to cover their own lameness and the rest of us are getting tired of hearing IT whinging.
Call my DSL ISP for tech support and they tell me to unplug the phone on which I'm talking to them.
This is a true story from the WordPerfect help line. Needless to say the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:
"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
".......Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
".......Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Aha, okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
Hey KID! Yeah you, get the fuck off my lawn!
I believe I described the problem/my request with as much accuracy as I could. He was in my computer, so I was able to show him directly what the issue was, what IP I wanted ousted, etc. Believe me, I'm so-not-saying that he's the general example of what ALL tech-support is like.
Plus, I don't have a printer. Lol.
You want to know how to help your kids? LEAVE THEM THE F*&K ALONE. --George Carlin
While no longer technically helpdesk, a vast part of my job is spent doing the job of our helpdesk and solving the world's problems. These are a few of my oddballs.
1
A person at a field office could no log on to the Staples site. She contacted Staples who said her cookies must have been deleted which is why her information no longer auto-populated but they reset her password and sent her the information. She still couldn't log in.
I looked at the email that had been sent to her and something clicked in. I asked her if she hadn't transposed the company ID and her ID when logging in. As soon as I said this she started (nicely) cursing under her breath. Sure enough, with those two items switched, she got in with no problem. She all but begged me not to ever tell anyone about this, even when I was completing the ticket to close it. I put in some vague information about possible web site issues but did mark the ticket as 'Education Required'.
2
Whenever I tell someone to open their C: drive, I tell them to go to My Computer (similar to the one story). The only difference is I tell them it's the My Computer icon which is usually located in the upper left corner of the screen. So far, that bit of communication is all that is needed to get them on the right path.
3
I was working to streamline the process by which a visually impaired employee would receive documents from various offices. His screen reading software had issues with certain pdf documents. I finally got all involved to send him Word documents instead.
However, during this conversation, I had remoted into a different person's pc to look at where the documents were being sent from. This person asked me how I knew the documents I was looking at were pdfs. I moved the mouse to the Adobe icon in front of the document and explained this means it's a pdf. I then moved to the end of the document name and said, "See this .pdf extension at the end of the name? That also means it's a pdf document."
I then showed her what Word document icons look like for comparison.
4
A printer was no longer showing it had a high capacity, tray 4. Everything printed fine, it just wouldn't pull from tray 4.
After turning the machine off and on, hoping to reset it, someone mentioned the light for the tray no longer lit. That got me thinking.
I looked at the back of the machine and saw there were 2 power cords. One for the machine itself and one from the machine to the tray. I checked and the plug, which was only inches off the ground, was loose
Only conclusion I could reach was the cleaning crew had whacked it with the vacuum and slightly jarred it loose even though by looking at it you wouldn't have noticed it.
We will bankrupt ourselves in the vain search for absolute security. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
When I worked for Time Warner Cable some years ago, we had a network drive for the managers that they'd throw the best phone calls on. Stuff like a customer calling to ask what color blanket to put over her cable box so the video camera inside couldn't see her at night. The rep, knowing it wasn't worth trying to explain to her that there is no video camera in the cable box replied, "Uuuuh, blue." She thanked him and hung up.
Other calls like one where the police raid the customer's house while she's on the phone with the cable company. You can hear the flash bang go off and the SWAT team knock the door down. "Where are the drugs?!?!", an officer yell. "They're in the crawl space!", replies the customer.
I'd helped answer some overflow calls at one point in Level 3. Customer's cable TV service was out. Seemed like a drop issue. Informed the customer that we could have someone out there the next morning to fix it. "I have a 6 year old downstairs screaming and crying her eyes out because she can't watch the Disney Channel. What do you expect her to do until then?!" I paused for a second and said, "Tell her to go outside and play." The customer went nuts when she heard that but it was totally worth it.
Lots of other great ones. Should really see if I can't dig them up.
Friend just told me this weekend that his dad called him the other day to tell him about an employee that had called him. His dad works for their companies help desk. The employee was calling because she was having problems creating a shortcut to a floppy disk. The disk in question was in the file cabinet by her desk in a file folder. She believed that she could leave it in said file folder and still create a shortcut to it so she could access the disk without having to insert it into the machine. I'm sure that was fun to explain to her that 3.5" floppies are not a wireless device that can be accessed remotely in that way.
Supporting executives, supporting PhD’s.
Everyplace I worked there was a designated “fall guy” to service the spoiled, self-important primadonnas in pinstriped suits and lab coats, You had to pretend that their incompetence and buffoonery did not exist, while somehow correcting the damage they did and explaining how to push the on switch on the power unit that the computer sat on. Whomever got the “honor” of this position usually got fired within the month!
I killed da wabbit -Elmer Fudd
Ghey
I was at the office once, logged onto a production server via Remote Desktop. The boss needed to borrow the workstation I was using, so I just minimized the connection and let him have the computer. 10 minutes later he was still banging away, and it was time for me to leave, so I just left.
The next morning I got a call that the production server had gone down. Well, the owner of the workstation came in and didn't recognize the icons on her screen, so as the normal first step in troubleshooting, she rebooted.
This was worthy of a 'news article'?
In an extremely ironic turn of events, I just wrote a multiple page story about my funny experience, then hit BACK on my mouse and lost it.
TLDR: Asian lady in manufacturing plant calls me at helpdesk to tell me that her "harddrive is gone". Several minute conversation ensues where I positively determine that somehow someone has stolen the harddrive from her computer ("The harddrive is GONE?!?" "Yes, it was here yesterday, now today, no HARDDRIVE!"). Eventually go to replace unit with spare, after hours of rushed configuration and a $2000 consultant visit, find out that she had lost her "R:\" drive mapping.
She lost her R drive.
Years ago I worked at small ISP, doing some web design, as well as phone support. Needless to say the phone support took up a majority of my time, and there were some fun conversations. Here's my favorite of all time:
An older lady called me one day extremely apologetic. She kept lamenting to me how sorry she was and how bad she felt, and keep asking me if all of my other customers were calling and complaining. It was her fault! She was adamant about that. Finally as she calmed down a bit, and I asked her why she was so upset. "I think I broke the Internet". I looked at my boss, who had wandered to my desk, (he could hear her frantic apologies through my headset), and I gave him a Spock-like eyebrow raise, covered my mic, and told him "She broke the internet." He chuckled, said "Have fun!" and went back to his desk.
So I explained to her that the Internet wasn't broke, and how it was highly unlikely that she could have broken the internet, so don't worry. She was fairly calm at this point, so I asked her "Ma'am, so what made you so concerned that you called me? What happened?" Her response was: "Well, I had an icon on my screen that said 'The Internet', and I think I accidentally deleted it. I thought I deleted the whole Internet!"
Poor lady. Remember when the IE icon actually said "The Internet"? You couldn't delete it either (not without some IT knowledge she didn't possess). So I walked her through auto-arranging her desktop icons and POOF there it was. She must have moved it off screen.
It's a tough job, but I do miss feeling like a hero.
Silliest thing I ever managed was to plug a flight controller into an ethernet AUI port. The magic smoke started to come out and everything.
Vintage computer games and RPG books available. Email me if you're interested.
Why yes I can sir. I could probably do a decent job sewing you up if I needed too too, although in most cases superglue will do the trick, and weld, and frame/roof a house, and quite a lot of other things. Are those my specialties? No. Can I do them? Yes.
...More importantly, while I may ask questions I'm not about to contradict a professional mechanic or surgeon like these idiots are doing.
Do you think that doctors don't have "dumb patient" stories? That mechanics don't have "dumb owner" stories? That economists don't sit and laugh about how idiots don't understand the difference between commodities and bonds?
Really?
I do not perform surgery for 8 hours a day for my work. I do not work on a tractor for 8 hours a day for my work. It is therefore forgivable that I cannot perform heart surgery or fieldstrip a tractor's transmission.
However, these people spend 8 hours a day on their computers, at work, and then go home and spend another 2 hours on their computers trying to facebook -- and they don't know the first thing about how to computer.
IT specialists don't expect people to be able to compile their own Linux kernels or manually recode x86 printer drivers for 64-bit operating systems, but they do expect people to be able to know what a start menu is and how to rightclick an icon.
This is either an awesomely-crafted troll or an incredibly-naive post from someone who has never had to provide support.
Perhaps we should have a "Best of Slashdot" to showcase these kinds of provocative, "Intentionally Trolling or Not?" posts so they aren't missed by the masses. Of course, that would create a perverse incentive to create poignant trolls. However, such posts would tend to accumulate interesting & insightful counterpoints as demonstrated in this instance... so, mission accomplished?
IT support is NOT like other support. I am sure the others have their funny stories (ie: "Doc, my arm hurts real bad...") but not like IT. I have done basic electronic, mechanical, PC, and other assistance for family & friends. Given multiple trainings & classes. And currently part of my job is to kind of run a help desk support for cellphones. I would say ~5% of our user base falls into the below, and they take up >50% of our time.
Reality is, the majority of the customers never call the helpdesk. But some of those who do... would be the equivalent to a person who couldn't figure out how to open their car door and they are now pissed they are late to a meeting. I kid you NOT. And they want a bill to reflect what the fix was, NOT the time or resources it took to give them that. A good majority of the rest is simple, but dumb questions. Questions which are covered by a common FAQ. These two groups, no matter how good natured a tech is will eventually wear him down. That is the problem with IT Support.
My group does cellphone support (billing, & ordering) for 20k employees, but we don't support email on the smartphones. Those users are assumed to be smart enough to setup their own ActiveSync accounts and we tell them repeatedly that we don't support (read: get paid for) email setup. It is assumed that the managers will determine who is 'smart' enough to utilize the devices. We provided them picture friendly instructions, and FAQs. Here are some of the questions we get on a weekly basis:
1) How do you install iTunes on my iPhone (not on their PC/Mac)? ..... (this is after he got the Fedex shipping notification).
2) Why didn't this phone come setup with email?
3) The password is case-sensitive on my Droid too?
4) Do you know my unlock PIN?
5) Could someone come install Flash on my iPhone?
6) I got a new Blackberry, but my email isn't on it like my old one.
7) Why does my Droid keep prompting that my Exchange password is incorrect (email password changed by user on laptop)?
8) I approved that order yesterday, but I need you to ship it to
The above are simple ones. Where it didn't take us minutes to an hour of back and forth questions to realize the user mistake. It wears down on you. I wouldn't give some of these users beepers, let alone smartphones. The problem is that there are honest real issues that do need support and these guys just take up pointless time away from them. And it is NOT an age thing. People fresh out of college to tenured seniors make up this group. We aren't that expensive, but they all get mad that a simple "Yes" response still costs them 10 minutes of a tech's time.
"'Working in tech support is a bit like teaching preschool: You're an educator who provides reassurance in troubling times. You share knowledge and help others overcome their obstacles. And some days, it feels like all you hear is screaming, crying, and incoherent babble.' "
For people who aren't morons, that is frequently the same experience when *calling* tech support.
These all seem trite and contrived. I call bullshit.
Hello, my name is Steven Thrasher and I sent in my Canon laptop to be repaired ...
Possibly the *only* thing that Japanese web services do better than US ones is offering ZIP code-based lookups for pre-filling as much of the address as possible. I suspect that the following factors have helped make this a nearly ubiquitous feature:
1. Addresses in Japanese start "general" and move toward "specific", e.g. ZIP > Prefecture > city > neighborhood > building. US addresses follow the opposite scheme.
2. The Japanese post office supplies relevant ZIP code data for free. I don't think they offer paid lookup services so you have to roll your own, but it's fairly trivial.
3. Japanese address input can be more cumbersome than other languages. If your address includes uncommon characters then it can be a pain to input them.
4. Japanese web users are (I feel) less savvy and need more hand-holding.
I had to do a 3/4 hour drive a couple of times for a person that had forgotten how she had logged on to her computer every morning for the last few years (with her full name as the username). However the real problem is her supervisor would not let me talk to her directly each time but instead just angrily insisted "her computer's broken and I've sent her downstairs so she can do some work".
My favorite call began thus:
"I have a memory problem but can't remember what it is."
(user had seen a message regarding memory but couldn't recall the exact text, and was hoping to convey this.).
"Waste not one watt!" - CZ
I work at a small local workbench and have seen many of the issues above. (Customers ranting on how smoke is caused by a software problem, or that the screen on a laptop not working has nothing to do with the giant fist mark on the screen, hell even customers coming in saying their new laptop shut off and wont turn back on, who thought she didn't need to plug it in and charge it because it was "wireless"). The best story that comes to line is a guy we call "Phone Line Virus Guy" who we have dealt with on and off for over four years. Approx 40 year old guy, so not some 70-80+ year old who's inept to technology. Originally, he called our store 4 times in one week, somehow getting a different person each time and taking up 10-15 minutes of our time each time he called asking how to remove a virus in his phone line. He was stating how he would sign on AOL and this person IM's him and emails him saying things he said in phone conversations. He was told they put a virus in his phone line. Try as I might none of us could convince him that if he had any virus it's not in the phone line but on the computer, and even then it sounds more like a prank. APPARENTLY he had even gone to the length of getting a new computer, and even having AT&T replace the phone wiring in his house. After being rude and criticizing us for not telling him how to get rid of the phone line virus over the phone for free, we would have no choice but to politely hang up on the man. End of the week one of us exchanged the story of our phone call and it was revealed that he talked to every person working at our store all different days of the week. Later that week when talking with several other customers who offer their own computer repair services, we find out that he had called them as well. So about a year later, same exact thing happens. He calls us every day for a week, except after the second call we write his number from caller-id down and then dont answer. However on the first call after we told him to go to the Police over this if he thinks he's being spied on... he responded "They won't answer my calls anymore". Fast forward to a few months ago. He then physically comes to our store. This time he has a Android based phone, and is insisting that he has a virus on it, because now the "hackers" are not only listening to his phone conversations (and emailing and harassing him about them online) but they are also tracking his location and saying and talking about places he has been. After spending over 20 minutes of valuable time trying to explain to him that what he's saying is impossible yet again, we had to walk away from him and tell him there's nothing we could do to help him.
Help desk?? it was more like trying to help the help less. I had to work with persons that did not know the diff. between a PC or a DSL modem or a router. talk about leading the.....
A USB cable won't work, but it will fit, as one of my users managed to show me.
It did actually take me a minute or two to to work out why the USB device wasn't showing up, because it was a nice snug fit.
Mind you, the one that depresses me is the people who will type a single capital letter by pressing Caps Lock, typing one letter, then turning Caps off, rather than just holding down the shift key. Well, that and using the mouse to select the next dialogue, rather than TAB, although that's a user education thing.