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Majority of Americans Think Obama Is Better Suited To Handle an Alien Invasion
Geoffrey.landis writes "At last, a public opinion poll that gets the opinions of ordinary Americans on the issues that matter! Apparently, two thirds of Americans polled think that Barack Obama is better suited to defend against an alien invasion than Mitt Romney, according to a survey from National Geographic Channel, done to tout their upcoming TV series 'chasing UFOs'. In follow-up questioning, Americans would rather call on the Hulk (21%) than either Batman (12%) or Spiderman (8%) to save the day. No word on which candidate is most fit to defend America against shambling hordes of undead seeking to destroy civilization in the zombie apocalypse (perhaps that will be brought out in the debates)." The real question of course is how Obama would handle Galactus.
Mediator: First I ask the former Governor of Massachusetts, Mitt Romney, how would you handle an alien invasion? ... *even longer pause* .. I would shoot at where they are going to be.
Mitt Romney: Simple, I'd shoot them.
Mediator: And to you, Mr. President, how would you handle an alien invasion?
Barack Obama: *pauses* Instead of shooting where they are
Crowd: *breaks out in rapturous applause*
Mitt Romney: Oh, come on, of course that's what I meant as well. I mean, I'd probably have the military figure all that out or pay someone in rubies or chickens or beads or whatever the hell it is you poor people are spending at Wal-Mart these days.
Crowd: *boos loudly*
Crowd Member #1: Oh, that Romney, I don't like him. I don't like him at all.
Crowd Member #2: I've never seen a Mormon kill anyone -- let alone an alien. Have you?
Crowd Member #3: I'd bet all my Wal-Mart rubies he doesn't win.
My work here is dung.
...they hope the aliens take him away!
He thought they mean illegal aliens?
"The real question of course is how Obama would handle Galactus."
Sign a piece of paper and then watch the military do nothing about it for four years?
This used to be one of my favorite channels. Along with "Wild" Discovery, History, Scifi, and Animal. The last one's not too bad, but NatGeo and the others have turned-into reality shows.
Yeah I know. Complain, complain. Well I can't help if all these channels start looking alike, instead of their original mission. NOW I spend most of my time watching the free broadcast channels: RetroTV, ThisTV, AntennaTV..... they are what AMC and TVland used to be. (Though it's probably only a matter of time til they jump-the-shark and start inserting reality shows.)
FREE magazine : http://clarkesworldmagazine.com/prior/
Well, sorta.
I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.
Of course Obama can handle Aliens a lot better than anybody else !
Obama himself is an Alien - that guy is from Kenya, isn't he?
It's all good. It just means we'll be having another "cord cutters", "Ask Slashdot" real soon.
He would bow and kiss ass, just like he has with every world leader since he's been in office.
No fight - just surrender.
We aready know Obama's response to an alien invasion - legislation to give them all retroactive amnesty and free citizenship. The Space Dream Act. You heard it here first.
(only partially joking...but I've got karma to burn)
"So after all this, you make my case for me. To end this stalemate, you must die..."
It's actually spelled Barack.
"Sorry, aliens. We suck."
As long as there are money to spend, Krugman is always on top of it, guaranteed !
Muchas Gracias, Señor Edward Snowden !
Is the alien invasion Bush's fault too?
This used to be one of my favorite channels. Along with "Wild" Discovery, History, Scifi, and Animal. The last one's not too bad, but NatGeo and the others have turned-into reality shows. Yeah I know. Complain, complain
Well, let's not be too hasty now. I mean, what if they did a crossover where some of the animals from NatGeo join the casts of the other channel reality shows? I'd like to see a grizzly bear mix things up a bit on the Jersey Shore. Especially with those night vision cameras they have in the rooms. I mean, the "people" on those shows are already behaving pretty much like bonobo chimps.
My work here is dung.
If these aliens would be willing to pay into Social Security I can't see how we can just tell them to leave without really thinking our options through.
I can only conclude that too many people watch South Park then... Sorry guys; wizzard aliens do not reside in town hall...
The summary has me confused.
Isn't Romney already part of the shambling horde of zombies known as "Mormons"?
"You think you're the only politician in the world? Mr. Obama, you've become part of a bigger universe."
I'd totally watch that movie/reality.
When the alien says "Take me to your leader"... I predict a mad scramble to hand over Obama. He won't be hard to find-- He'll either on a golf course or at a fundraiser.
Majority of americans think?
It would be better to at least try to be ready for an alien invasion. Enough alien invasion fear might be enough to actually get some governments working together.
Or else get ready for the next Near Earth Asteroid.
> The real question of course is how Obama would handle Galactus.
He'd come to the table with "You can only eat half the planet." And manage to walk away with Galactus agreeing to spare 10%.
Adult Role Playing Forum
"The real question of course is how Obama would handle Galactus."
Answer, depends on one key factor.
Is Galactus contributing to an Obama-friendly Super PAC?
Yes - Obama: "Devouring the Earth is perfectly acceptable, Galactus".
No - All out war.
get this IDLE crap off the front page. This is the dumbest article I've read on Slashdot all week! Here I was hoping we'd have a week devoid of worthless moronic headlines hitting the front page. This is most certainly not news that matters, to anyone.
From TFA
Moreover, most citizens would not mind a minor alien invasion, because they expect these space-age visitors to be friendly--like the lovable character depicted in Steven Spielberg's popular film "E.T."
So yeah, Democrats are stereotyped as little Nevilles who'd sooner open a dialog with Hitler than shoot anyone; Republicans as drunken cowboys who'd sooner shoot Ghandi's face off than discuss why beef tastes good, ergo he's a moronic stinking hippy.
If you think the aliens are friendly, of course you'll want Obama; conversely if most people thought the aliens would be hostile, you bet your ass they'd want Romney.
ack ack ack ACK! ack ack ack... BARACK ack ack!
One of them is the leader of a country which as one of the most powerfull Army on earth, the other one is just candidate to an election. Of course the former is better suited to handle an alien invasion.
It's like the only qualification a president needs to handle a crisis like that. Incidentally, I was raised by hollywood.
They'll probably get Palin to come on VanSusteran's show to take up for Romney. "Pallin' around with space aliens."
The most recent vehicle to be customized as the presidential car is a GMC Topkick-based, Cadillac-badged limousine often referred to as Cadillac One and occasionally as Limo One (a reference to the U.S. presidential aircraft, Air Force One) or as The Beast.
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Presidential_State_Car_(United_States)
Hmm.. end of the world.. aliens being beasts/demons... interesting. I mean, out of all the names in the world for a vehicle!?
Of course Hillary is an alien - all those hours he's spent working with her is finally paying off!!!
"Murderer? Well, that's a harsh word. I prefer to think of myself as a Mortality Technician."
I mean, the ones from Mars only need a recording of Tom Jones to defeat them, but you need three juvenile delinquents to defeat The Tripods. Everyone knows that.
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
Thanks for clearing this up!
Have you fscked your local propeller head today?
An Alien invasion? Seriously? I'd say he's better suited to handle a bowl of Mac & Cheese and that's as far as I'd go with his qualifications and skill set. lol
lets be real, no president would be able to do anything about it.
The US is powerful when it's beating the crap out of other humans but against an extraterrestrial intelligence that spans the galaxy?
That's a code brown situation.
I've decided to stop wasting my time responding to AC trolls/sockpuppets... so if you want a response from me... login.
1. What the fuck happened to slashdot, posting this trash?
2. What the fuck happened to nat geo? Do they own TLC and the history channel now?
Yeah, he'd be about effective as the "president" in the movie "Mars Attacks"
I'm pretty sure Obama would grant Galactus work visa and a Social Security number, and defend his right to eat the Earth under the Americans with Disabilities Act.
and the hulk doesn't even have a sonic screw driver
resolving our illegal alien problem.
Earth and Irvine to Geoffrey, poster, please come in. Blow yourself up already!
First, I think it's a really stupid question to ask people. Well, I think it's stupid to make the question partisan, but...
Man, I just saw my first UFO this Saturday, around 1 PM, Southern Wisconsin. I say it was a UFO because it was flying and I didn't know what the heck it was. It really was like so many videos I have seen. A saucer shaped object, no wings, going through the air at constant speed, "quietly", "accompanied by two jet fighters on either side going about twice as fast as it, approx 2-5 thousand feed off the ground. The UFO may or may not have been flying quietly because the jets were pretty loud themselves.
I think they're preparing us...
Of course Americans wouldn't trust Romney to deal with an alien invasion. He's probably one of them.
No word on which candidate is most fit to defend America against shambling hordes of undead seeking to destroy civilization in the zombie apocalypse (perhaps that will be brought out in the debates).
Obviously, Obama would be best against the Zombies. Romney would be best against the Vampires. Or maybe it's the other way around.
After all he is an "alien" resident, having been born in Kenya and all that ;-)
Where is the evidence he was born on this planet? Where is the DNA sample?
Why did they waste precious resources conducting this survey? Most Democrats think Mitt Romney himself to be a humanoid android sent from the Gamma quadrant in sector six by the richest 0.001% of the universe to alter the history. So he is them, he is no good protecting us from them.
sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
So during the olympics or the next superbowl, can we expect a faked alien invasion to be repelled by fake SEALS?
Couple this with a still image of important people staring seriously at a screen as if it were real?
Would the alien 'peace treaty' become botched in public so it has to be redone behind closed doors without the public witnessing it?
We're being blanketed via media with aliens, vampires, and anything occult, it's just a matter of time before a 'false' delusion is staged.
When it comes to spiritual matters:
Just remember, kneel before God in the white light, don't let the moment pass, when the red light comes and you don't repent, you lose. The keys to this symbolism is throughout occult popular music and movies today, one example being the Pink Floyd cover, Darkside of The Moon, illustrating a false illumination and change.
obama is an alien, (from another planet)
Politics is Treachery, Religion is Brainwashing
and try to offer them amnesty as they obliterate city after city.
Scary that its already happening.
Of course, the truth is that of the population willing to respond to a survey about Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, the Hulk, Spiderman, and alien invasions, probably two-thirds secretly hope Bruce Banner gets elected by write-in vote.
Marklar!
Nobodies Prefect
Tidbits for Techs Technology Blog
is silly. They would be interested in the whole Earth, not just one country. What if all children under 10 suddenly disappeared from the whole planet, as well as millions of adults? Humans in general and governments in particular would most likely assume a massive alien abduction. What if despite the most advanced technological searches, not the slightest trace of the whereabouts of all these missing people nor any aliens could be found? Such a worldwide disappearance is predicted to happen someday according to 1 Thessalonians 4:16–18 in the Bible. Efforts to find alien life in the universe, such as SETI, are confined to our time–space dimensions. What if there really are supernatural beings that are beyond and behind our present time–limited existence?
Because he is an alien himself...
Only in Kenya!
The summary doesn't make it totally clear that people would prefer the Hulk rescue them from aliens, not just rescue them in general. It's an important distinction because for the general case, you don't want to have to rely on the Hulk to save you from ANYTHING, because he'll likely destroy all of your property and probably accidentally (or purposefully!) kill you in the process.
Additionally, where's Superman, our home grown invincible alien immigrant, in all this? Has he really fallen so far in public consciousness?
Wouldn't he just shed his human-shaped carapice and welcome his brethren to Earth?
Never let a lack of data get in the way of a good rant.
Obama would be better because he is muslim and they have a moon on their flag, right???
This article is viral marketing ploy for the new Spider-man movie. They are not going to mention the compitition.
since they all seem to automatically think everyone different from them is an illegal alien. Instead, they'd probably just tell them that the lawn is out back and don't forget to sweep the patio when they are done.
I suppose if there was a way to accelerate Obama to 90% the speed of light he might
do some damage to a ship, I personally doubt theres a way for anyone to dodge such a
blast of concentrated energy. Another thing to try is assuming theyre collecting humans
to take them on their craft would be to boobytrap him with something, depending on their
stupidity that could be a mininuke or of course if theyre after our meat we could somehow
infect him with something or sew a container of some agent into his abdomen. Same goes
for all the other expendables, we have thousands of rounds like that but its doubtful we
could stop them even if we used up all our local scumbag judges and DA's. Maybe if we
had that mass accelerator cannon and blasted them with every parasite we got, from IRS
agents to DHS that might slow them down a bit.
You're not seriously thinking a TV act is going to stop a determined force with far superior
technology and lots in the way of that, do you? But think of it this way, what if they do come invade,
and we end up under their boots.. What if they're a lot humaner about oppressing us than
our home-grown scumbags? What if they put a stop to the murder and mayhem the motherfuckers
that run talkinghead pupppets like Obama and Romney cause every day on this world and make it
everybody on the planet is fed good wholesome food and has a decent place to stay?
I could live with that. Our scumbags really suck ass, sure it can get worse but theres a possibility
theyre the Romans. Sure those were evil fucks but they had an empire that assimilates and many
a germanic tribesman saw the benefits of roman lifestyle and joined them back then, so why couldnt
that be the case as well with those aliens that are on their way, lol.
They're confusing Obama with Will Smith.
Yes, I just went there.
From outer space or from other countries?
Who's Libya?
There are "Libyans".. A lot of them..
So who did he helped?
-- Counting backwards since 1984!
What was the exact question?
Was it "Is Obama better suited to handle an alien invasion, or serve another term as president?"
Because I'd say Romney is better suited for the alien invasion thing too.
Title says it all.
Yes. It's my premise that I can't tell the difference between Mormons and Scientologists. Thank you for ruining the joke!
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
He sure has the bowing part down pat.
All hail our new ant overlords.
He'll secretly promise the we will surrendering after the election
Because you failed to vote the story down. Damn you you failure!
Surely Romney would be better suited for alien contact, since he already prays to God and Jesus, who are in fact aliens from Kolob as this informative video demonstrates.
He will just issue them all work permits, as long as they entered the country when they were in their late teens.
Maybe they for the confused by the question.
Brak/Zorak 2012!
I'm pro Obama, but I'm sorry, both candidates are equally unqualified as it's a complete lost cause. We cannot beat a civilization capable of invading us.
"Who is the Journal of Quantum Physics going to believe?" --Stephen Hawking
Mormons don't believe in Aliens (the ET kind)
I did ask a couple of their missionaries once.
Of course fundie Christians who believe in a 4004bc or so date for creation wouldn't believe in aliens either.
The real question of course is how Obama would handle Galactus.
He would decree that this evil can only be defeated with mandatory universal health care. It only works if everyone is part of it. Then as the vortex of doom settles over each major city and the Supreme Court strikes his mandate down he'll say, "fine! It only works if most of us are part of it." Then as people are being sucked up into the sky, he'll scream, "I inherited this, you know!"
Has it already been mentioned that the white house will now announce that and invasion is taking place immediately before election day?
The Subject says all I have to say.
I'm sure this is the mainstream media preparing the American public, as ordered by their owners (the banks, weapons industry etc.), for a new spending spree of tax money. This time it isn't terrorism (who still believes in that story?) but 'alien invasion'. Be prepared, develop more space weapons, give more money to the industrial mologs and pay more taxes.
That's what's going on!
"Trump!!", the new Godwin.
Obama is better?? How to do with an Alien Invasion?
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I'm surprised. Romney believes God lives on the planet Kolob.
I'm not kidding.
I expect Obama to do no less than help us live long and prosper. Though his pacifism probably means we'll all get it in the ass from our alien overlords. http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/10/opinion/10dowd.html
Stay skeptical, my friends.
Reading this, I almost thought I am at The Onion.
...okay...
(QD backs away slowly from the rest of humanity)
Best defense from an invasion of mythological creatures? Pick your favorite from this list of fictional characters.
One LIE after another!!! We're having an illegal Alien invasion right NOW and he is helping them!!! What bullshit!
Romney would have a much better chance of saving us from the aliens. He'd simply recruit an army of Mormon missionaries to invade the aliens' landing craft and annoy them until they escape back to their home planet.
Deltron 3030 - Virus (music video)
When the h#@* did an imaginary alien invasion become a talking point in the debates?!?!
We're far more likely to be invaded by African Pygmies than Extraterrestrials.
For that matter, despite what Hollywood shows in it's movies, we'd be toast. It would be like a 2 cavemen in a dugout canoe trying to fight the WW2 Allied D-Day Invasion force backed up with 3 nuclear aircraft carriers.
pic
link
No Earth Slime has destroyed Mukor...
Obama is Protestant of some flavor. Romney is a Mormon. Which religion inspired a movie and TV series about a "rag-tag fugitive fleet" of humans fighting killer robots in outer space? I rest my case.
"The Greens lynched a hacker in Chicago. Last month, but I think the body's still hanging from the old Water Tower."
He's got my vote!
Until recently it was most definitely an ally taking part in combined actions - remember the "extreme reditions" to Syria and the Syrian miltary action 3 or 4 years back to protect the US embassy? There may not be as much involvement as there is with the US troops in Algeria (now that place is an even worse basket case), but the US intelligence community if not the military has been working directly with their counterparts in Syria as allies in the very recent past.
It's a very unpleasant association to remember which definitely erodes the moral standing of the US government, but we shouldn't pretend it never happened, especially since IMHO that influences the current US action of not intervening. There's also the problem of pissing off the Israel lobby by taking one side or another in a nation that extremists in that lobby would like to see turned entirely into radioactive glass. Helping anybody at all in Syria becomes a bad political move for people who care about their jobs more than fixing problems. Washington careers will end no matter what action is taken on Syria so advisors call for no action, whether that's the best option r not.
Most of Pakistan isn't even a nation by any definition (even that of the American Indian nations before the US existed, although if you consider them all together that's close) and was really just an access agreement with the British in the 19th century with the agreement to not bother all the warlords that just ran things at a local level - and that's pretty well how it still stands. We can't really call Pakistan a "frenemy" or consider it as a single entity because while we can deal with their government they really have little or no control over most of the area we call Pakistan. Maybe we should point those tribal areas out to libertarians to show them what their dream looks like.
It takes one to know one!
* ...TSSCH! *
This whole thing simply reinforces the view the rest of the world has that Americans are war mongering morons.
Can you get any more brain dead ?
Is it because he is one himself?
The rich bastards are.
Why?
Because after a certain amount of it, there's no value to money as far as spending it goes.
It becomes a measure of power and leverage. If you have more money than someone else, you can enforce YOUR ideals on them better than they can return the "favour". Therefore it's no longer how much you have, but how much you have COMPARED TO EVERYONE ELSE.
So if you are silly and go out and *spend* money, you're LOSING POWER. You're going to be told what to do.
The poll is Propaganda which maintains the Left Right Paradigm, which allows globalist psychopaths to continue hold power
Fuck National Geographic, Fuck Obama, fuck Polls
is obama going to fight himself ?
At last, a public opinion poll that gets the opinions of ordinary Americans on the issues that matter!
But who could possibly defend us from such morons?
That's an immediate concern far greater than for alien/zombie/vampire/deity invasions.
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. - Voltaire
I mis-parsed the heading and asked myself "better at an alien invasion than what?" The economy, an aging population, terrorism?
Owl tried to think of something wise to say, but couldn't.
When I read that the National Geographic had lost all respectability by asking people this question and whether "The Hulk" or "Batman" would be the best solution. A sad day indeed.
...takes an alien to fight an alien?
Any guest worker system is indistinguishable from indentured servitude.
When you hoard money you generally save it instead of building a Scrooge McDuck-type swimming pool. Those investments are used for loans, etc. A low savings rate is one of the main things to get us into this mess.
Except for ending slavery, the Nazis, communism, & securing American independence, war has never solved anything.
That asshole cant do anything right ... progressive liberals think he is better suited than someone else to do anything?
Romney would be best for aliens. He will someday have his own planet / universe.
http://www.mormondna.org/mormon-beliefs/mormons-planet-die.html
Obama == Deep impact.
Romney == Mars attacks
Well, that settles it. I know who I am voting for.
Emperor Lrrr 2012
News for nit wits. Stuff that splatters!
Well, congrats to the NWO bastards! (note the SARCASM) Decades of predictive programming with tons and tons of alien and scifi fiction and supposedly "scientific" research on the matter has proven to work. People are so brainwhashed that they even consider it a possibility (I'm ashamed even I fell for that for a time). And not only that but they also put their trust in government to lead them in that supposed time of crisis. It makes me furious.
Alien invasion is one of the several possible set-up scenarios to declare an emergency and martial law and it's been subtily (and not so subtily) pointed at in public speech by world leaders from time to time for decades.
This poll is just probing the state of the brainwashing and it's publishing works as feedback to reinforce the effect.
STOP LISTENING TO THE MEDIA.
Obama would have a plan and then act on it. Romney would complain about the aliens and Obama's plans, but would not offer anything as a concrete alternative except to say something like, "I believe *every* American has a right to freedom from alien invasions."
I am a pleiadian extraterrestrial living in this beautiful planet. Here is very hard to us have friends because people on this planet is very manipulated, they are not free as us and their bahaviors by that reason are different. Many of us are living here nowadays and all the time extraterrestrials have always visited this planet as people travel between countries. As proof of this research about Nefertiti, a Sirian extraterrestrial that was Queen on Egypt, or about Christ a messenger from pleyades. The pleiadian Jmmanuel is very popular in this world as the only son of God, everyone is son of GOD :) We are humans as you, only we have lived many lifes. Most of the terrestrials are young souls so it is very easy to deceive them with lies as an alien invasion. We are older beigns with more wisdom. We are extremely friendly with all beigns including planets and universes. And we are here with the only purpose to teach and share great moments with anyone !!
Now back to our inane programming that passes as "news".
One would oursource all of our jobs to their planet and the other would let them colonize our country and give them all our resources.
This proves it: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSal5oFlCZ9tafp2a4OZfZau2SOZ3uYdhdp3oDeQouHk9uAzUum4A