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Steve Jobs Reincarnated As a Warrior-Philosopher, Thai Group Says
Velcroman1 writes "When Apple founder Steve Jobs died after a long fight with cancer last year, software engineer Tony Tseung sent an email to a Buddhist group in Thailand to find out what happened to his old boss now that he's no longer of this world. This month, Tseung received his answer. Jobs has been reincarnated as a celestial warrior-philosopher, the Dhammakaya group said in a special television broadcast, and he's living in a mystical glass palace hovering above his old office at Apple's Cupertino, Calif. headquarters."
This isn't even posted under Idle; it's posted under Apple.
We're really so obsessed with Apple that the after-life of it's CEO can make the front page?
News for Nerds, Stuff that Doesn't Fucking Matter At All
I'd like to come back as a tablecloth. Laid three times a day then pulled off afterwards. HA HA!
I got to the chocolate box before you, that's why the hard ones have teeth marks.
Does it have rounded corners?
Finally the one who will be a match for the Philosoraptor.
Well, I mean... that's what I plan on doing when I die.
An engineer asked this? No wonder software and engineer don't belong together. Look, it's simple. The material support for the pattern known as Steve Jobs ceased to function, and the pattern collapsed. End of story.
In other words,
... Steve jobs has been uploaded to the iCloud.
Those Buddhists are in trouble now. I have it on good authority that Apple has patented the iReincarnation app. They are going to have the same fate as Samsung in the next American trial!
Doesn't this belong in idle?
He has a Steve Jobs you insensitive clod
...that there'd be Buddhist trolls. I imagine after they he sent this answer to Tseung, they had a really good belly laugh... "Yeah, I told him that Steve Jobs was reincarnated into an invisible glass house above his former office. And I said when they built the new office, he'd take up a position directly over the center, so he could survey all his creation."
Well, these monkeys may believe in reincarnation, but at least they don't believe in karma.
I'm an American. I love this country and the freedoms that we used to have.
My numerological and astrological calculations clearly show that Steve Jobs's next incarnation will be as a kitten that I'm going to purchase from a pet shop in suburban Melbourne (NO, I'm not going to say exactly where) in July 2017.
That gives me time to get the lawyers started on getting inheritance rights for reincarnations. Jobsy the kitten will deserve the best in life, and he's earned it already.
He didn't play within the rules of society. He went against it.
He stole a liver to which he wasn't entitled. He declared a thermonuclear
war on android.
He was a sociopath. Society's laws didn't apply to him.
That makes him a sick guy like Iran, North Korea, and other nations that would threaten those weapons.
Steve Jobs is someone to admire if you're a sick apple fanboy thermonuclear war puppy.
Good thing he's dead. Now if only Achmedinejad and Kim Jong-Un could only join him, this Earth
would be a better place.
So long, Steve "Thermonuclear war" Jobs. Hopefuly your'e enjoying innocent kitties in hell.
Because you're not in heaven. And you can't rape anyone on this earth.
E
I know your rumoured to do anything to avoid taxes, but this is a little extreme!
RMS says Steve Jobs was reincarnated as Windows 8 as punishment for his sins against FOSS in his past life. Personally I think RMS was drunk and just happened to be watching that Superman movie where the bad guys are imprisoned in panes of glass floating through space forever.
let the crazies talk, don't listen to them.
How exactly does this group know that a baby is going to be a warrior or a philosopher when it is not even a year old? Let alone being Jobs Himself?
If Steve Jobs had been reincarnated it would have to happen after Steve is dead, and so any baby born after the moment of his death is a candidate.
But this is one hell of an extraordinary claim to make, so lets see if they have some extraordinary evidence to support this claim, then we can that the thought seriously.
I think we all know where this is going, I look forward to seeing who pitches the show and how it turns out.
Last time I checked he was in hell with objective-c
... Parked in a handicapped parking spot in Bangkok.
Gently reply
I too once had a great Karma, a Karma Ghia. It too was reincarnated many times. When I got my Karma, it had no compression. I had traded an old Dodge for it, which had no brakes.
When we pulled the oil drain and peered inside, we saw quite a mess. Little chunks of twisted metal everywhere. It was terminal. So we just put the oil drain back, and drove the Hell out of it for five years, occasionally adding oil and gasoline.
It was quite an Educator- I taught four people how to drive in it. It had a nose of Wonder; it was crushed beyond recognition when my two sisters managed to sequentially run it head on into both a Citroen Maserati and a Ferrari 250GT. The other two cars were undamaged.
It never managed to hover. It did manage to float down a steep muddy hillside. There were mushrooms growing on the back package tray.
The coil was held in place with a shoelace, and the battery was kept from dragging on the ground with several layers of deteriorated cardboard stashed underneath.
I don't know its inevitable demise, it was passed on from family to friend, to friend, to friends of friends, to whoever; only the All Knowing DMV in the Sky knows for sure.
My Karma wasn't Buddhist. I think that it might have been a Lutheran.
If anything, he should be reincarnated as a Chinese iPhone assembly line worker.
Sometimes I wish I was a plumber, then I'd know how to deal with other people's shit.
Head's dead, but he lives on in peoples memories.
Your brain simulates much of the world. You don't actually see all you see, your brain assembles it mostly from memory and recognition. People too, you don't see their details, their faces, don't hear all their words, your brain is constantly projecting your preconception of them and assembling the narrative for you.
It's a bandwidth saving feature if you will, but it means that part of that person is running on you. It's not 100% on CPU_Main, that person is perhaps only 10% CPU_Main and the rest running in the brains of people around them.
When the body dies, CPU_Main dies with it, but the rest? No, they live on. They'll even seek to find CPU_Main somewhere else. They'll see CPU_Main in dreams, imagine CPU_Main relocated or rebooted, rather than shut down the co-process.
These people find comfort in imagining their dead ones live on in others, and it's partly true, they live on in them, because they want to believe they're reincarnated elsewhere.
Even the Apple haters, are still running their Denigrate_Jobs processes, they too are part of the Jobs program. They too haven't shut that program down.
Wait... Tony Tseung the engineer at Apple? Can we say conflict of interest?? :-)
Well, that solves that mystery.
2: And very early on the first day of the week they went to the tomb when the sun had risen. 3: And they were saying to one another, "Who will roll away the stone for us from the door of the tomb?" 4: And looking up, they saw that the stone was rolled back; -- it was very large. 5: And entering the tomb, they saw a young man sitting on the right side, dressed in a white robe; and they were amazed. 6: And he said to them, "Do not be amazed; you seek Jobs of Apple, who was cancerified. He has risen, he is not here; see the place where they laid him. 7: But go, tell his disciples that he is going before you to the iPhone 5 announcement; there you will see him, as he told you."
You can't be reincarnated if you don't have a carnal body. Kinda the definition.
Yeah, its drinking night for me too tonight. I guess it shows...
Tomorrow is another day...
Jesus Christ? If he had worshipped Jesus Christ he'd now be a meek angel plucking at a harp. At least multiclass warrior-philosophers can hope to get laid now and then. And kick the ass of anyone who disputes their philosophy.
At least he didn't worship Inugami the Dog-God. If he had, he'd now be humping some warrior-philosopher's leg.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
What bothers always about the concept of reincarnation (with a carnal body, so not TFA), is that if you don't have any memories or experiences of your past lives, what is left, then? How do they make any impact? An explanation could be that the previous experiences shape life in some way that the person cannot sense.
This group is a Buddhist version of Scientology before anyone make any generalization.
Except that he is who people perceive him to be, so if CPU_Main is dead, then he is the statistical average of those fragments.
In life he was the statistical average of (CPU_Main + CPU_CoProcess1 + CPU_CoProcess2....CPU_CoProcess6000000000)
In death he's (0 + CPU_CoProcess1 + CPU_CoProcess2....CPU_CoProcess6000000000)
But its pretty damn similar to what he was in life, I doubt the image perceived of him was much like the real person, even when he lived.
No, in Christianity, you don't become an angel after you die. You become a subject (read: subject, not a citizen) in the Kingdom (not a Republic, so you won't be hugging Jesus like most think; it's a fucking monarchy for Christ's (get it?) sake) in the kingdom of heaven, where you spend eternity trying to fix God's low self-esteem.
Ok, if Jobs is floating over his OLD OFFICE, that means he was incarnated as a hungry ghost!
See, in bhuddist cosmology, there are various gradients of existence. This world, our world, represents the crossroads between the celestial heavens, and the hellish naraka. (Those are plural. There are many of each.)
The important thing of note here, is that the priests say he was incarnated above his old office. This means here, on the mortal realm.
In the mortal realm, there are 3 potential kinds of incarnation: Human, Hungry ghost, and Animal.
Since he is incorporeal, and in the mortal realm, that means he is a hungry ghost. Hungry ghosts are called that, because they have big appetites, but lack any real means to sate them. They are a pitiable form of existence, but can also cause serious problems, such as hauntings.
Wiki on hungry ghosts
That he would incarnate into a LOWER incarnation implies he had BAD karma, but not quite sufficient to send him to one of the naraka. (Though the burning flesh naraka might be appropriate if you ask me.)
So, if you work at apple, you should attempt to appease the late Jobs, by leaving offerings of unmarked bills, and the latest iDevice on his desk. Failing to do so will anger the hungry ghot, and there will be trouble. Burning incense may help as well. But not sandalwood. It's tacky.
In other news, your dog is now on a farm upstate where it's very happy. That's why it isn't around anymore.
Personally I think RMS was drunk ...
Doubtful. RMS doesn't need to be drunk to start saying crazy sh*t.
in terms of D&D multiclasses.
No, he's hovering over the handicap parking spot, his favorite place.
Table-ized A.I.
Just wonder if it is made out of gorilla glass or amaled?
Steve Jobs stimulated his creativity by "Going to the Magic Kingdom" while tripping his balls off on acid, back in the 70's, when it was still OK for CEO's to trip their balls off on acid.
Nowadays, most CEO's just act like they should "get their lips away from the crack pipe!"
Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
If there is any justice in the universe at all.
Steve is rotting in hell right now where he belongs.
Had the chance, money, people, tech and influence to change the world for the better in a HUGE way. Or at least technology for the better.
And instead went for max profits selling inferior tech locked down walled off shiny ithings in primary colors to iidiots for high margins and suing everyone they could. And being one of the biggest corporate douchebags on the planet.
A lifetime of being a douche. That better not get you a good reward in the afterlife.
Does he have an invisible glass car he can park on the handicaped space at Apple's parking?
You are referring to a cosmology associated with a particular Buddhist strand, but the core of Buddhism requires no such beliefs.
I can understand why Steve Jobs would be upset over the whole Android thing. I don't think it's the right way to handle it, but that's easy for people like me and you to say, since it's not our product.
Everyone has flaws, it's really nothing to be pissed over. At least Jobs went after big companies instead of buying out and shuttering small potential compeditors the way MSFT did. But he was a complicated man, and he had the good sense to have that recorded for posterity. If he hadent worked to have that biography written, we'd probably be building statues to him today. Most people we idolize don't want us to ever find out the truth about them, but Steve Jobs' legacy was his products, not his image. I wish more famous and powerful people were like him in that regard. There would be a lot fewer statues around today.
There's no such thing as "bhuddist cosmology" there being many different schools and branches of Buddhism, which can vary wildly in their spiritual beliefs. Without knowing what school these monks belong to its difficult to interpret their words.
There's more to the world than what's on wikipedia.
Wikipedia actually talks pretty extensively about how there are many different schools and branches of Buddhism and thus no overriding doctrines...
Wait--please don't tell me the moron actually believes this shit.
:They took our Jobs!
So he's got that going for him
Then who deserves to die? You are just another wannabe hippy. Someone who doesn't love all but who is just to afraid to just admit some people deserve dead. Your like those people who are against the death penalty, not because they believe in human beings but because they don't want to take responsibility.
We are talking about a man who parked in handicap spaces when he could have build his office to have a drive in office if he wanted to. This person had zero morals and zero empathy. The only people that love him, everyone close to him (READ the reactions to his dead carefully) pretty much said "interesting guy, but ain't gonna shed a tear). Their would have been more reaction of a toaster had stopped working. A human being did not die, a thing died that made some fancy gadgets that will only be remembered in marketing books.
People say that nobody says that on they wished they spent more time in the office on their deathbed. I think Steve Jobs wished he did.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
You presume he saw his own bio the way you did it, as a rather sad man who thought money was everything and whose death was ultimately received as "well, it ain't only the good that die young". Did he see himself as a vindictive petty minded asshole OR did he read it as a glorious tribute to his vision proving how right he was and how wrong everyone else was?
IF the bio is true, the picture it reveals is not of a man with a lot of introspective capability.
MMO Quests are like orgasms:
You may solo them, I prefer them in a group.
Seriously RIP... honour the R and let the guy rest already, without the R Steve just becomes all about IP ... oh wait... good one Apple!
http://blogs.wsj.com/searealtime/2012/08/31/thai-group-says-steve-jobs-reincarnated-as-warrior-philosopher/
Appleâ(TM)s mantra of using technology to bring people closer together also dovetails neatly with the teachings of the orange-robed monks at the Dhammakaya Temple.
They preach a worldly, tech-savvy form of Buddhism which instructs worshipers that it isnâ(TM)t a sin to grow rich, as long as they contribute a chunk of their earnings to the Dhammakaya cause.
Material possessions are cool. Just give us money.
Among other things, he has said the reincarnated Mr. Jobs spends much of his time lounging in a glass palace resembling an Apple store. Phra Chaibul also has said the being formerly known as Steve Jobs is attended by 20 servants, who seem to resemble the Apple store âGeniusesâ(TM)
The spiritual rewards also appear to be worth the effort, at least according to Phra Chaibul. He says that Mr. Jobs now enjoys sleeping on a floating hover-bed, and when he thinks of a piece of music he would like to hear, it automatically plays. If he is hungry, an aide quickly brings him a tasty treat.
âoeEverything is high-tech, beautiful, and simple, exactly the way he likes it, and he is filled with great excitement and amazement,â Phra Chaibul says. In fact, the technology surrounding the reincarnated Mr. Jobs works so seamlessly that he has no reason to âoebare his canine teethâ or otherwise exercise the hot temper for which he was known on earth.
Whatâ(TM)s more, Mr. Jobs was reborn in a younger, more handsome form. Phra Chaibul says he now appears to be around 35 to 40 years old, with a full head of hair. Artist renderings accompanying Phra Chaibulâ(TM)s lectures show a rejuvenated Mr. Jobs living in a photo-shopped, air-brushed utopia where he hangs out with other sprites and revels in the achievements of friends and colleagues he left behind on earth.
What does a celestial warrior-philosopher need with servants?
Or glass palaces? Or floating hover-beds? Or tasty treats? Or hair?
Or pathetically "younger" body of 35-40? Why not go for a viral 19-21 with a wisdom of several lifetimes?
Probably cause the above mentioned Phra Chaibul is 68 and 35 seems to his unimaginative mind (Really? Afterlife apex for a celestial warrior-philosopher is about auto-playing music and snacks on a floating bed?) like an impossibly distant age when he was "young".
And if you want to SEE what he actually meant, please step this way.
Dhamma Media Channel has renderings of all Steve's previous incarnations on display.
Including an explanation why he died of cancer.
SPOILER:
In a previous incarnation he had beaten to death an "unlicensed doctor" who "gave the counterfeit medicine to his older brother".
PI Steve (Previous Incarnation Steve) ended up selling his family business AND donating a part of his liver to save his brother.
"Unlicensed doctor's" death on the other hand "was caused mainly by liver hemorrhage."
See how it all ties together?
AMAZOING-OING-OING-OING!
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
I'm not surprised that this heretical Buddhist cult would put out such a ridiculous press release. Thais have told me this group 'Dhammakaya' is an extremely wealthy new age religious organization consisting mainly of educated middle class Thais and the Thai diaspora.
Reincarnation is not a personality reincarnating as that same personality in another vehicle, It is what is beyond the veil incarnating as what is beyond the veil.
Who is reincarnating as what? Since the ego is a subset of the superego.
Of course if you were really bad you might reincarnate as the subconscious, selectively, perhaps arising as an impulse to get the next ipad mini ; )
Ok, you want to play that game, let me see if I can do it. Jobs may have been a very successful man, which would indicate a fairly high amount of Karma. But as tweaked as he got about Android, I don't think he was Crystal Palace material. Maybe brushed aluminium material... Personally, I think he was reincarnated at CowboyNeal. Did you notice that we saw a bunch of articles from CowboyNeal right after he died? And since Slashdot has the limit on Karma, Steve could have been tweaked at Android and still be "Excellent"!
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?
It seems their sense of reality has become distorted .. wait a second!
Why is this linked to a (*shudder*) Fox News article which in turn links to the original here:
http://blogs.wsj.com/searealtime/2012/08/31/thai-group-says-steve-jobs-reincarnated-as-warrior-philosopher/
Fix link please?
As a practitioner and teacher of yoga, I have to say treating cancer exclusively on alternative medicine and natural remedies, is ripe for disaster, or in this case death. However, fasting has been preliminary proven to help conciderably with many ailments including cancer by boosting the immune system and bodily functions.
However, I am thinking there may be more to his cancer than just a coincidence. Did the cancer eat him up, just like Apple's products now starts to eat up society mindshare and marketshare?
In deterministic chaos you will find the same patterns in every layer throughout the whole, similar to a hologram. Yes, you can call it Karma, or you can equally call it "chaos". Cause and effect is the same anyways, and those who claim they know every cause and effect relationship, well let's say you can safely ignore such grandiose claims. Karma is part of every day life, completely natural. It permeates everything, but is not clearly defined by rules and fear, but offer some guidelines and inspiration on how to better oneself.
Keyword: deficit
He came back as Snooki's baby, but I guess that and warrior-philosopher
don't have to be mutually exclusive.
Karma litterally means "action". However, it has been misunderstood and dogmatized throughout the ages. If you ask saints, "karma" means "action", but in relationship with "cause and effect" and the inner workings of the Mind. It is connected to the "law of attraction", and most other metaphysical "laws", however once you start defining such laws by rules and defined statements (God's "last" words chiseled in stone or book), you actually lose their real significance and practical meaning.
Karma really encompasses all spiritual understanding, it is that all-pervading. There is nothing outside of karma.
Of course a falling rock can be said to be an "action", but a rock can't decide for itself what action to take (to any measurable degree as far as we know, although quantum dynamics carry interesting possibilities). So applying karma to "action" alone is meaningless. Instead of "action", you can say "deed", although I prefer "action" since "deed" can rapidly become loaded and abused.
Karma has meaning when applied to humans, which are thought to possess some understanding and will-power beyond a rock, or even most animals. So traditions like yoga attribute humans to be capable of receiving knowledge, and then modifying their behaviour based on new knowledge. It is debatable to what extent humans really are able to adapt to input of knowledge though ;)
If you can keep it simple, you can actually have the most brilliant understanding of karma. However, karma is a bit more than just "action", however I commend you for striving to keep it simple.
I said karma can be said to be "deed", however if you investigate you will find that "dharma" is actually the word connected to "deed", and thus suffers from rigid rules, hero-worship and stagnant belief-systems. If you can find karma to be between "dharma" and "action", you may find new innovative understandings of karma. I believe very few people on this planet, maybe a handful, really understands karma to a real significant and unencumbered degree. Of course, I only concider my understanding theoretical based on past life work, so I am really not among those few. If you ask any of those, they will deny it as well ;)
No, this particular temple has him reborn as a Yaksha:
Yaksha (Sanskrit: ààà¥à yaká£a)[1] is the name of a broad class of nature-spirits, usually benevolent, who are caretakers of the natural treasures hidden in the earth and tree roots.
I'm not being flip here, but it essentially reminds me of a Leprechaun.
"In Hindu, Jain, and Buddhist mythology, the yaká£a has a dual personality. On the one hand, a yaká£a may be an inoffensive nature-fairy, associated with woods and mountains; but there is also a darker version of the yaká£a, which is a kind of ghost (bhuta) that haunts the wilderness and waylays and devours travelers, similar to the raká£asas."
According to the temple, Steve Jobs hasn't gotten angry yet, so he's still in the "inoffensive nature-fairy" phase and not the "haunting the wilderness and waylaying and devouring travelers phase."
However, if he gets angry... watch out!
"MIT betrayed all of its basic principles."
Just because you have some patents doesn't mean that they are valid or enforceable.
Just because you've convinced some companies to license your patents and pay you royalties doesn't mean that they are valid or enforceable.
The android phone manufacturers that pay MS royalties simply decided that just paying the royalty would be less expensive than fighting the legal battle to (possibly) prove the patents in question invalid. This means that there is, so far, no evidence that the patents in question have any value at all. Given that the SCotUS has been more strongly nudging things in the direction of "You can't patent software processes, stupid", there's a pretty good chance that they are, in fact, worthless. Unfortunately, proving that will require a company with a reason to take a stand, the funds to follow it through, and a top-notch team of patent lawyers.
By the way, for obvious reasons, I really, really like this religion.
If only I could believe in things other than boring old science, I'd be signing up!
"MIT betrayed all of its basic principles."
FSM followers go to the Great Pasta Bowl where they enjoy enjoy stripper factories & beer volcanoes for all eternity. Steve Jobs might make a guest appearance as a meatball.
Nothing about 40 virgins, but a floating glass palace over your old home isn't so shabby...
Reality is prettier inside my head...
I thought the seasons were six months out in the southern hemisphere, but September is only five months after April. Or are these Thai guys serious? And does the floating glass palace have a big Apple logo like the famous stores??
John_Chalisque
This is gonna be good. Ultimate showdown between Larry Ellison and Steve Jobs.
All we need now is Lo-Wang Shadow Warrior screaming "Who wants some Wang?"
You're ignoring the fact that angels are consistently described in Christian scriptures as warriors. The first angel mentioned as such in the bible held a flaming sword and the nativity was announced by a host (i.e. an army) of angels.
Use of the words "good", "bad" or "evil" is almost invariably the result of oversimplification.
No dispute about the monarchy thing, but you are incorrect about the subject/citizen thing. Many verses call believers adoptive sons and daughters alongside Christ. Which is a considerable upgrade from the picture you paint.
Not saying that you should accept the theology - just saying that you should be factually correct about whatever criticisms you have.
John C. Dvorak writes for PC Magazine. His August 31, 2012 article is Apple's iPhone 5 Ploy.
he denied his own child, Lisa Brennan.
WHAT AN ASSHOLE.
Fuck him, I'm glad he is dead.
Yeah, well, it's not like I intended for people to take the post seriously. As someone else has pointed out, dead people don't actually become angels in Christian theology, despite the popular notion.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
Let's gather some mystical stones, to throw them at the mystical glass palace, using a mystical slingshot; mystical Blue Birds are welcome.
BS. I was brought up in a faith that not only allows for you to become an angel plucking a harp, but to ride on a cloud, and spend your days watching the living like a bad soap opera.
Its called lay Catholicism....and its a no beliefs barred smorgasbord of uneducated, misunderstood fun. Forget all that boring, debated, scholarly catholicism that you get from those overeducated priests with their doctorates in theology, I am talking about the working class, Catholicism... the kind of understanding of the faith that can only come from sitting in the pews with a hangover every sunday, and tacking anything with a picture of a saint on it up on the refrigerator.
I assure you this traditional catholic faith allows for a very angelic afterlife.
Could make a good action anime series to hold me over until Bleach continues XD
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
Quick somebody call PacMan.
For a guy who said "Let the revenue come in first, then worry about philanthropy" when asked why Apple didn't donate to philanthropic causes.
Also for a guy who was known to be not someone you'd like to meet in the elevator...
Maybe you should read Part 2 sometime. The first thing they say is "be not afraid". Total softies, no smiting. They bring good news, let guys out of jail.
So, if it starts p!$$!ng down (rain) over his old office, we know what's happening.
Sure enough, the cow costume was hanging up next to the superhero outfit and sailors uniform. (S,Spud)
a foxnews article instead of just the wsj source? i apologize for mentioning the obscenity and oxymoron that is foxnews.
thats all i really have to say.