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User: ahem

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Comments · 227

  1. Re:Who cares? on Duke Nukem Forever Teaser Released · · Score: 5, Funny

    You know what, I'll believe that this game is actually shipping about the time that Duke Nukem Forever is rel....

    Oops.

  2. It's full of stars on Powerful Blast Confuses Astronomers · · Score: 1

    Was the moon, by chance, anywhere in that area of the sky, and was there a monolith present?

  3. Re:How "scaled up" is this? on Photonic Laser Thruster Promises Earth to Mars in a Week · · Score: 1

    I thought we only needed 1.21GW to get really useful work done. This must be new science!

  4. Re:Re : Are Relational Databases Obsolete? on Are Relational Databases Obsolete? · · Score: 2, Funny
    Your sed is missing two expressions for full i18n:

    sed -e 's/crisps/potato chips/' -e 's/pound/dollar/' -e 's/note/bill/' -e 's/packet/bag/'

  5. Re:Do the math... on World's Fastest Broadband Connection — 40 Gbps · · Score: 1

    I don't know how you encode, but the rule of thumb for Netflix's instant viewing on PC is about 1Gb for a standard def movie.

  6. Re:Obvious practical issues with horiz. touchscree on Microsoft's Multitouch Coffee Table Display · · Score: 1

    You actually can operate it with your butt, and you can operate it after a drink has been spilled on it.

    It works by sensing a change in the way that infrared light is reflected back from a part of the surface that is being touched.

    Take a look here: http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/industr y/4217348.html?page=2

  7. Re:In other news... on Treating the Dead · · Score: 1

    I'm sorry, but your internal monologue has leaked out thru your fingers again.

  8. Re:The whole thing is a joke... on So You've Lost a $38 Billion File · · Score: 1
    .... Inconceivable.

    I do not think that word means what you think it means

  9. Oh! Oh! Can I Be First? on Open Source Laser Business Opens In New York · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Do not look at laser with remaining eye."

  10. Re:"Saw III" on Skin Sensing Table Saw · · Score: 4, Funny

    Is that "G rated" as in "rated G by the MPAA", or "grated" as in shredded up?

  11. Re:Science Fluxion on The Energy of Empty Space != Zero · · Score: 1

    I am an ape who can understand gravity, you insensitive clod.

  12. Re:An idea on Working Model of MIT $100 Laptop a Hit · · Score: 3, Informative

    Hm, buy one for three times the price and give away two... What a great idea! Go here and promise to do just that.

  13. I think the chicken was first on Chicken and Egg Problem Solved · · Score: 1

    So, assume that there was something that was the modern-day chicken, that hatched out from something that wasn't quite exactly an egg yet. Then that chicken grew up to lay what was now exactly a modern-day egg. Then the chicken would have come first because it hatched from something that wasn't an egg.

    And now for something completely different...

  14. Re:Like getting the Three Stooges to do your plumb on Free Nationwide Wireless Internet Access? · · Score: 1
    When he left the FCC, he turned his switch from evil to good

    Oh, that's good

    However, the yogurt is cursed

    Oh, that's bad.

  15. Re:Oblig. Dexter's Laboratory Joke: on 12.8 Petabytes, You Say? · · Score: 1

    First, nice .sig

    Second, it's funny because it's not funny.

    Mod the parent '-1 Culturally Illiterate'

  16. Perhaps the rating should instead be... on ESRB Changes Oblivion's Rating to 'Mature' · · Score: 2, Insightful


    'I', for 'Immature'?

  17. Re:ARS is for ARSloch on Google Violates Miro's Copyright? · · Score: 1
    Everyone write to president Dr. Theodore Feder at

    Shouldn't that be "Mr. Richard Feder from Fort Lee, New Jersey"? If it's not one thing, it's another...

  18. Re:Making brain neurons light-sensitive on Implants Allow the Blind to See · · Score: 1

    And was the counting of the number of test mice equal to three? Three shall be the number of the mice and the number of the mice shall be three. Four shalt thou not test, neither shalt thou test two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out.

  19. Re:Loser on Gmail vs Pine · · Score: 1

    Pansy. I personally listen and reply over port 25 using nothing but cat and tail.

  20. Re:Just wait for the lawsuits to start... on Self-Parking Cars Coming To U.S. · · Score: 2, Funny
    Jace, he said:

    The article says that the driver is responsible for controlling the speed of the vehicle via the break pedal. :)

    So THAT is why people are getting hurt. Hitting the break pedal instead of the brake pedal.

    :) on with your own bad self.

  21. Re:It won't happen for a number of reasons. on When Virtual Worlds Collide · · Score: 1

    That's right. Nobody would ever want to look at anything more than a text file displayed in a 25x80 CRT. I can use dc to calculate all my numbers and then jot them down in vi, I have no idea what that Bricklin guy is thinking with his visicalc thing.

    Just because we have not yet taken the next steps to whereever we're going doesn't mean we're going to go in a straight line. It doesn't even mean that we're going to keep using our feet as the mode of transport.

  22. Re:The first one to say... on Patriot Act Game Pokes Fun at Government · · Score: 4, Funny

    *smack*

  23. Re:DC MMO on Jim Lee To Direct DC MMO · · Score: 1

    Why avoid the urge? That sounds like the most fun part of the game!

  24. Looks like mp3 all over again... Call Franhoefer! on LCoS Shoot-Out Results · · Score: 1

    So perhaps the technically precise unit is the 'losses' presentation, and the JVC unit gave up on the technically precise elements that the average consumers eyes can't "hear", and so the 'lossy' presentation looked just as good, or better, than the lossess one because it suited the analog eye instead of the digital microscope?

  25. Re:Old news. on Self-Assembling DNA Pyramids · · Score: 1

    How do you know that person doesn't need a boyfriend to help her build a whole person from DNA?