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User: shigelojoe

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Comments · 244

  1. The Governator on A Linux Machine For Your Collar · · Score: 1

    If they used this in the California government offices, they could use Gov. Schwarzenegger as tech support.

    Gov't worker: "Oh shucks, my brooch crashed."

    Ahnold: "Do naht wohrry. I will fix it."

    *Squeeze*

    Gov't worker: "Thank you governor!"

    Ahnold: "No prahblem."

  2. A hippie's dream come true! on Genetically Modified Flower Detects Landmines · · Score: 1

    Weeeeeeeee! We've traded bombs for flowers! Weeeeeeeee! And after that, we can power our tanks with unicorn farts!

    ; )

  3. Re:Distributed computing plants? on Do Plants Practice Grid Computing? · · Score: 5, Funny

    Carrots may in fact be more intelligent than deer. Who knows for sure?

    Well, I know that a carrot has never wandered out into the middle of the road and into the path of my car. That's got to count in the carrot's favor.

  4. Re:Hard facts. on Lie Detector Glasses Coming Soon · · Score: 1

    That would have been a clever comeback-- in elementary school!

  5. Re:Silence? on Tom's Reviews Expensive, Noiseless Case · · Score: 1

    I wager it would be somewhere around 0.

  6. Re:TGV on Chinese MagLev Train Opens Next Week · · Score: 1

    You'll have to translate for us, please, because most of us are ignorant Americans.

  7. Re:This is NOT right - Please DONATE to his fund on Adrian Lamo Pleads Guilty · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Do you keep potentially sensitive information in your shed? For instance, payroll information, information regarding contacts, unpublished articles, or other confidential information?

    A better analogy to the situation at hand would be if your shed was locked, chained, and bolted shut, the bum was actually a person who forced open locks, chains, and bolts in their spare time and your shed contained your personal and tax information, any information about your business' transactions and contacts, and your entire archive of e-mail correspondence. Stuff you would not seen by others, and stuff you would *definitely* not want potentially distributed freely on the internet.

    The network was protected for a reason, and Adrian Lamo must have known the nature of the information he was accessing. He deserves to be punished.

  8. A bold prediction. on HP Licenses Apple's iPod & iTMS · · Score: 2, Funny

    Apple Computer may end up either buying or merging with Apple Records. Apple is not so pleased that Apple violated their agreemant and is plunging headfirst into the music biz.

    It will be interesting to see how this plays out.


    Apple will win.

  9. Re:Identity Theft and Total Permanent Storage on Company Offers Disaster-Proof Storage For Records · · Score: 1

    Permanent data storage is one of the foundations of permanent institutional political structures, which is just another name for fascism.

    So remember folks, when you use Retrospect, you're backing up Hitler. :D

  10. Re:Blame Apple on Finding Holiday Discounts on iPods? · · Score: 1

    Also, how many people are going to buy a product due to the X dollar mail in rebate, but then forget/decide not to mail in the form? Not many people bother filling out the forms, and thus the company doesn't have to give many people rebates while still enjoying a rise in sales.

  11. I had a SimCity game like this once on President Bush To Call For Return To Moon? · · Score: 1

    The people were constantly whining about rising unemployment, so I just caused a microwave power plant "accident" to keep 'em in line. I mean, it's just a game, it's not like anything like *that* would ever happen in real life...

    Oh shit.

  12. Re:Makes you realize... on Recycling TV Ads · · Score: 1

    It was always the shit-eating and latex costumes that tipped me off that it came from Germany.

    Ads? Oh, I thought we were talking about porn. Sorry. *coughs*

  13. Here's what we do... on Lunar Polar Ice Not Present · · Score: 1

    The best way to resolve this potential water shortage would be to have a highly efficient water recycling program so that the little water present could be used effectively.

    For starters, a bodily fluid filter not unlike what they had in "Waterworld" would have to be used. I'm sorry I had to bring that movie up, but I am trying to make a point.

    That alone won't be enough, though, so another procedure will need to be put into place.

    Imagine a lunar colony. Whenever any of the moon citizens die or become sick, old, or disabled (no offense to any of the aforementioned groups), stick them in a giant centrifuge and produce a force of about, oh, 500 G's (whatever would be sufficient to liquify the contents), and strain the moisture out of the resulting goo. Voila! Soylent Aqua!

  14. A Frequently Asked Question on Large Scale Collaborative Editing · · Score: 1

    "What the hell is THAT?!?!?!?"

  15. The only thing I can think of... on U.S. Continues Biological Warfare Research · · Score: 1

    Is how embarassing it will be for people to know that you were killed by *mouse-pox*.

    "So what happened to Bill? I haven't seen him for a few days."

    "Mouse-pox. Killed 'im."

    "*Mouse*-pox? Like, small, furry, squeaky mouse?"

    "Yeah. *Mouse*-pox."

    "What a pussy."

    "Yeah."

  16. Re:Pull the other one - it has bells on it on EFA Claims No Illegal Material On mp3s4free.net · · Score: 1, Funny

    I believe you mean LSD, d-lysergic acid diethylamide also known as acid, and not LCD which commonly refers to a liquid crystal display.

    You mean you've never tried 17-inch Apple Studio Display? That shit will mess you up.

    Don't even get me started on 23-inch Apple Cinema Display. That's some 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' material right there. Bat country and everything.

  17. Re:"Noooooooooo..." on The Complete Far Side Archive · · Score: 1

    Not to mention that it'll be a heck of a lot easier for the dogs to catch up to them.

    They could just do the 'airmail' thing they do in the old cartoons. It'd probably punch a hole in the roof, though.

  18. Well, I don't know... on Are Linux Zealots Terrorists? · · Score: 1

    Those guys who burned a box of Microsoft software on my lawn *did* say they were from the GNU Liberation Front.

  19. Re: Lawyers on Does Your Company Censor the Content for You? · · Score: 1

    As a devout anarchist, I'm horribly offended at your lawyers remark. You'll be hearing from my baseball bat.

  20. According to a screenshot, on Apple Chromes Its Logo · · Score: 1, Interesting

    Panther can run on a 400 MHz G3 with 192 MB RAM. I wonder how sluggish it is on such a machine. I also wonder who has a pre-release and decided to run it on such a machine.

    Hmmmm......

  21. Re:$400? on Personal File Server For The Masses · · Score: 1

    ...Pentium 4 Celery...

    No wonder it was so cheap; you were using produce.

  22. Re:yeah on Worst Jobs In Science · · Score: 1

    "Thagard also had the distinction of being the first person ever to clean out animal cages in orbit, on the Spacelab 3 in 1985. Engineers promised him that the cages would be at negative pressure, so none of the weightless waste of 24 rats and 2 squirrel monkeys would escape. But when Thagard opened the cages, air rushed outward, leading to a frantic floating-feces chase scene." (bold added by yours truly)

    There was more than one cage, dude. They most likely had the monkeys in separate cages.

  23. Re:Applications for the blind? on Echolocation for Humans · · Score: 1

    Hey, at least he's not *waving* at blind people. Then he *could* be President.

  24. John Handcock on Sign Your Name Online With A Mouse · · Score: 5, Funny

    He was probably talking about the pornstar. And if there isn't a pornstar named John Handcock, there damn well needs to be one.

    A lack of John Handcock is un-American(TM), dammit.

  25. Re:Yes, but on AMTP as an Alternative to SMTP · · Score: 1

    Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but wasn't SPEWS supposed to work that way?