...He who laughs does not believe in what he laughs at, but neither does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is self-propagating.
-- Umberto Eco, "The Name of the Rose"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"A fractal is by definition a set for which the Hausdorff Besicovitch dimension strictly exceeds the topological dimension."
-- Mandelbrot, "The Fractal Geometry of Nature"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Many companies that have made themselves dependent on [the equipment of a certain major manufacturer] (and in doing so have sold their soul to the devil) will collapse under the sheer weight of the unmastered complexity of their data processing systems.
-- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"A fractal is by definition a set for which the Hausdorff Besicovitch dimension strictly exceeds the topological dimension."
-- Mandelbrot, "The Fractal Geometry of Nature"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Risch's decision procedure for integration, not surprisingly, uses a recursion on the number and type of the extensions from the rational functions needed to represent the integrand. Although the algorithm follows and critically depends upon the appropriate structure of the input, as in the case of multivariate factorization, we cannot claim that the algorithm is a natural one. In fact, the creator of differential algebra, Ritt, committed suicide in the early 1950's, largely, it is claimed, because few paid attention to his work. Probably he would have received more attention had he obtained the algorithm as well.
-- Joel Moses, "Algorithms and Complexity", ed. J.F. Traub
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Something mysterious is formed, born in the silent void. Waiting alone and unmoving, it is at once still and yet in constant motion. It is the source of all programs. I do not know its name, so I will call it the Tao of Programming.
If the Tao is great, then the operating system is great. If the operating system is great, then the compiler is great. If the compiler is greater, then the applications is great. The user is pleased and there is harmony in the world.
The Tao of Programming flows far away and returns on the wind of morning.
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"... being a Linux user is sort of like living in a house inhabited by a large family of carpenters and architects. Every morning when you wake up, the house is a little different. Maybe there is a new turret, or some walls have moved. Or perhaps someone has temporarily removed the floor under your bed." - Unix for Dummies, 2nd Edition
-- found in the.sig of Rob Riggs, rriggs@tesser.com
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The Encyclopaedia Galactica defines a robot as a mechanical apparatus designed to do the work of a man. The marketing division of Sirius Cybernetics Corporation defines a robot as 'Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun To Be With'. The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy defines the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as 'a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes', with a footnote to effect that the editors would welcome applications from anyone interested in taking over the post of robotics correspondent.
Curiously enough, an edition of the Encyclopaedia Galactica that had the good fortune to fall through a time warp from a thousand years in the future defined the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as 'a bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the wall when the revolution came'.
-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
... in three to eight years we will have a machine with the general intelligence of an average human being... The machine will begin to educate itself with fantastic speed. In a few months it will be at genius level and a few months after that its powers will be incalculable...
-- Marvin Minsky, LIFE Magazine, November 20, 1970
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"Yo, Mike!"
"Yeah, Gabe?"
"We got a problem down on Earth. In Utah."
"I thought you fixed that last century!"
"No, no, not that. Someone's found a security problem in the physics program. They're getting energy out of nowhere."
"Blessit! Lemme look... Hey, it's there all right! OK, just a sec... There, that ought to patch it. Dist it out, wouldja?"
-- Cold Fusion, 1989
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Long ago, in a finite state far away, there lived a JOVIAL character named Jack. Jack and his relations were poor. Often their hash table was bare. One day Jack's parent said to him, "Our matrices are sparse. You must go to the market to exchange our RAM for some BASICs." She compiled a linked list of items to retrieve and passed it to him.
So Jack set out. But as he was walking along a Hamilton path, he met the traveling salesman.
"Whither dost thy flow chart take thou?" prompted the salesman in high-level language.
"I'm going to the market to exchange this RAM for some chips and Apples," commented Jack.
"I have a much better algorithm. You needn't join a queue there; I will swap your RAM for these magic kernels now."
Jack made the trade, then backtracked to his house. But when he told his busy-waiting parent of the deal, she became so angry she started thrashing.
"Don't you even have any artificial intelligence? All these kernels together hardly make up one byte," and she popped them out the window...
-- Mark Isaak, "Jack and the Beanstack"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
-- Dave Barry
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Writing non-free software is not an ethically legitimate activity, so if people who do this run into trouble, that's good! All businesses based on non-free software ought to fail, and the sooner the better.
-- Richard Stallman
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
-- Dave Barry, "Sex and the Single Amoeba: What Every
Teen Should Know"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"I quite agree with you," said the Duchess; "and the moral of that is -- `Be what you would seem to be' -- or, if you'd like it put more simply -- `Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise.'"
-- Lewis Carrol, "Alice in Wonderland"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Dear Emily:
I saw a long article that I wish to rebut carefully, what should I do?
-- Angry
Dear Angry:
Include the entire text with your article, and include your comments between the lines. Be sure to post, and not mail, even though your article looks like a reply to the original. Everybody *loves* to read those long point-by-point debates, especially when they evolve into name-calling and lots of "Is too!" -- "Is not!" -- "Is too, twizot!" exchanges.
-- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
None of our men are "experts." We have most unfortunately found it necessary to get rid of a man as soon as he thinks himself an expert -- because no one ever considers himself expert if he really knows his job. A man who knows a job sees so much more to be done than he has done, that he is always pressing forward and never gives up an instant of thought to how good and how efficient he is. Thinking always ahead, thinking always of trying to do more, brings a state of mind in which nothing is impossible. The moment one gets into the "expert" state of mind a great number of things become impossible.
-- From Henry Ford Sr., "My Life and Work"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The spirit of Plato dies hard. We have been unable to escape the philosophical tradition that what we can see and measure in the world is merely the superficial and imperfect representation of an underlying reality.
-- S.J. Gould, "The Mismeasure of Man"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home center. And before long home centers were springing up like crabgrass all over the United States.
-- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Fortune suggests uses for YOUR favorite UNIX commands!
Try:
ar t "God"
drink matter (Bourne Shell)
rm God
man: Why did you get a divorce? (C shell)
date me (anything up to 4.3BSD)
make "heads or tails of all this"
who is smart
(C shell)
If I had a ) for every dollar of the national debt, what would I have?
sleep with me (anything up to 4.3BSD)
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit. General: What does that make YOU? Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.
-- Jay Ward
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The "professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on the sides and deposits a large quantity of tools and two assistants who spend the better part of the week in your basement whacking objects at random with heavy wrenches, after which the "professional" returns and gives you a bill for slightly more money than it would cost you to run a successful campaign for the U.S. Senate.
And that's why you've decided to start doing things yourself. You figure, "If those guys can fix my furnace, then so can I. How difficult can it be?"
Very difficult. In fact, most home projects are impossible, which is why you should do them yourself. There is no point in paying other people to screw things up when you can easily screw them up yourself for far less money. This article can help you.
-- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Slashdot Mirror
does he hate it. Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to
combat it, and laughing at good means denying the power through which good is
self-propagating.
-- Umberto Eco, "The Name of the Rose"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"A fractal is by definition a set for which the Hausdorff Besicovitch
dimension strictly exceeds the topological dimension."
-- Mandelbrot, "The Fractal Geometry of Nature"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Many companies that have made themselves dependent on [the equipment of a
certain major manufacturer] (and in doing so have sold their soul to the
devil) will collapse under the sheer weight of the unmastered complexity of
their data processing systems.
-- Edsger W. Dijkstra, SIGPLAN Notices, Volume 17, Number 5
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"A fractal is by definition a set for which the Hausdorff Besicovitch
dimension strictly exceeds the topological dimension."
-- Mandelbrot, "The Fractal Geometry of Nature"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Risch's decision procedure for integration, not surprisingly,
uses a recursion on the number and type of the extensions from the
rational functions needed to represent the integrand. Although the
algorithm follows and critically depends upon the appropriate structure
of the input, as in the case of multivariate factorization, we cannot
claim that the algorithm is a natural one. In fact, the creator of
differential algebra, Ritt, committed suicide in the early 1950's,
largely, it is claimed, because few paid attention to his work. Probably
he would have received more attention had he obtained the algorithm as well.
-- Joel Moses, "Algorithms and Complexity", ed. J.F. Traub
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Something mysterious is formed, born in the silent void. Waiting
alone and unmoving, it is at once still and yet in constant motion. It is
the source of all programs. I do not know its name, so I will call it the
Tao of Programming.
If the Tao is great, then the operating system is great. If the
operating system is great, then the compiler is great. If the compiler is
greater, then the applications is great. The user is pleased and there is
harmony in the world.
The Tao of Programming flows far away and returns on the wind of
morning.
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"... being a Linux user is sort of like living in a house inhabited .sig of Rob Riggs, rriggs@tesser.com
by a large family of carpenters and architects. Every morning when
you wake up, the house is a little different. Maybe there is a new
turret, or some walls have moved. Or perhaps someone has temporarily
removed the floor under your bed." - Unix for Dummies, 2nd Edition
-- found in the
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The Encyclopaedia Galactica defines a robot as a mechanical apparatus designed
to do the work of a man. The marketing division of Sirius Cybernetics
Corporation defines a robot as 'Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun To Be With'.
The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy defines the marketing division of the
Sirius Cybernetics Corporation as 'a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the
first against the wall when the revolution comes', with a footnote to effect
that the editors would welcome applications from anyone interested in taking
over the post of robotics correspondent.
Curiously enough, an edition of the Encyclopaedia Galactica that
had the good fortune to fall through a time warp from a thousand years in
the future defined the marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics
Corporation as 'a bunch of mindless jerks who were the first against the
wall when the revolution came'.
-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
... in three to eight years we will have a machine with the general ... The machine will begin ...
intelligence of an average human being
to educate itself with fantastic speed. In a few months it will be
at genius level and a few months after that its powers will be
incalculable
-- Marvin Minsky, LIFE Magazine, November 20, 1970
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"Yo, Mike!"
"Yeah, Gabe?"
"We got a problem down on Earth. In Utah."
"I thought you fixed that last century!"
"No, no, not that. Someone's found a security problem in the physics
program. They're getting energy out of nowhere."
"Blessit! Lemme look... Hey, it's
there all right! OK, just a sec...
There, that ought to patch it. Dist it out, wouldja?"
-- Cold Fusion, 1989
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Long ago, in a finite state far away, there lived a JOVIAL
character named Jack. Jack and his relations were poor. Often their
hash table was bare. One day Jack's parent said to him, "Our matrices
are sparse. You must go to the market to exchange our RAM for some
BASICs." She compiled a linked list of items to retrieve and passed it
to him.
So Jack set out. But as he was walking along a Hamilton path,
he met the traveling salesman.
"Whither dost thy flow chart take thou?" prompted the salesman
in high-level language.
"I'm going to the market to exchange this RAM for some chips
and Apples," commented Jack.
"I have a much better algorithm. You needn't join a queue
there; I will swap your RAM for these magic kernels now."
Jack made the trade, then backtracked to his house. But when
he told his busy-waiting parent of the deal, she became so angry she
started thrashing.
"Don't you even have any artificial intelligence? All these
kernels together hardly make up one byte," and she popped them out the
window...
-- Mark Isaak, "Jack and the Beanstack"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on
any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at
parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
-- Dave Barry
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Writing non-free software is not an ethically legitimate activity,
so if people who do this run into trouble, that's good! All businesses
based on non-free software ought to fail, and the sooner the better.
-- Richard Stallman
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off
during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
-- Dave Barry, "Sex and the Single Amoeba: What Every
Teen Should Know"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Never try to explain computers to a layman. It's easier to explain
sex to a virgin.
-- Robert Heinlein
(Note, however, that virgins tend to know a lot about computers.)
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
"I quite agree with you," said the Duchess; "and the moral of
that is -- `Be what you would seem to be' -- or, if you'd like it put
more simply -- `Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it
might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not
otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be
otherwise.'"
-- Lewis Carrol, "Alice in Wonderland"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Dear Emily:
I saw a long article that I wish to rebut carefully, what should
I do?
-- Angry
Dear Angry:
Include the entire text with your article, and include your comments
between the lines. Be sure to post, and not mail, even though your article
looks like a reply to the original. Everybody *loves* to read those long
point-by-point debates, especially when they evolve into name-calling and
lots of "Is too!" -- "Is not!" -- "Is too, twizot!" exchanges.
-- Emily Postnews Answers Your Questions on Netiquette
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
None of our men are "experts." We have most unfortunately found it necessary
to get rid of a man as soon as he thinks himself an expert -- because no one
ever considers himself expert if he really knows his job. A man who knows a
job sees so much more to be done than he has done, that he is always pressing
forward and never gives up an instant of thought to how good and how efficient
he is. Thinking always ahead, thinking always of trying to do more, brings a
state of mind in which nothing is impossible. The moment one gets into the
"expert" state of mind a great number of things become impossible.
-- From Henry Ford Sr., "My Life and Work"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
#define BITCOUNT(x) (((BX_(x)+(BX_(x)>>4)) & 0x0F0F0F0F) % 255)
#define BX_(x) ((x) - (((x)>>1)&0x77777777) \
- (((x)>>2)&0x33333333) \
- (((x)>>3)&0x11111111))
-- really weird C code to count the number of bits in a word
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The spirit of Plato dies hard. We have been unable to escape the philosophical
tradition that what we can see and measure in the world is merely the
superficial and imperfect representation of an underlying reality.
-- S.J. Gould, "The Mismeasure of Man"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Several years ago, some smart businessmen had an idea: Why not build a big
store where a do-it-yourselfer could get everything he needed at reasonable
prices? Then they decided, nah, the hell with that, let's build a home
center. And before long home centers were springing up like crabgrass all
over the United States.
-- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do
what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with
them while they do it.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Fortune suggests uses for YOUR favorite UNIX commands!
Try:
ar t "God"
drink matter (Bourne Shell)
rm God
man: Why did you get a divorce? (C shell)
date me (anything up to 4.3BSD)
make "heads or tails of all this"
who is smart
(C shell)
If I had a ) for every dollar of the national debt, what would I have?
sleep with me (anything up to 4.3BSD)
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
Bullwinkle: You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit.
General: What does that make YOU?
Bullwinkle: What else? An executive.
-- Jay Ward
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...
If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs
around your home are too difficult to tackle. So, when your furnace
explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The
"professional" arrives in a truck with lettering on the sides and deposits a
large quantity of tools and two assistants who spend the better part of the
week in your basement whacking objects at random with heavy wrenches, after
which the "professional" returns and gives you a bill for slightly more
money than it would cost you to run a successful campaign for the U.S.
Senate.
And that's why you've decided to start doing things yourself. You
figure, "If those guys can fix my furnace, then so can I. How difficult can
it be?"
Very difficult. In fact, most home projects are impossible, which
is why you should do them yourself. There is no point in paying other
people to screw things up when you can easily screw them up yourself for far
less money. This article can help you.
-- Dave Barry, "The Taming of the Screw"
- this post brought to you by the Automated Last Post Generator...