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User: illuminata

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Comments · 416

  1. What About Madden? on ESPN And Electronic Arts Sign 15-Year Deal · · Score: -1, Interesting

    From the article: "At least in the short term, Madden's name will stay on the pro football game, rather than being replaced by ESPN or another brand."

    I think it would be kind of silly for them to ink a deal with ESPN but not with Madden's current employer ABC. Hell, they're owned by the same parent company (Disney) and Monday Night Football (and ABC show, of course) has already dabbled in the video game market.

    I'd expect it of EA to make sure that they had the rights to use of the ABC properties as well, although it will be interesting to see if they somehow incorporate ESPN Sunday Night Football into the Madden franchise.

  2. Patent This on IP's Next Big Wave - Taste & Smell Patents · · Score: -1

    Now I'm wondering if we can patent the smell of money.

    Only if we can patent the smell of liberal.

    *Whiff Whiff*

    Little bit of dirt.

    *Whiff Whiff*

    Flowers.

    *Whiff Whiff*

    Some sweat.

    *Whiff Whiff*

    Hmm, something kinda watery, maybe a few tears.

  3. Oh, super! on The Jobs Crunch · · Score: 0

    Based on this post, I'm guessing that Slashdot is working on another section, perhaps a subsection to the Politics one.

    I think it's gonna be called Propaganda.

    Makes me wonder if it's even worth the effort considering that line really blurs with the editors.

    Maybe they can make the slogan "Viewpoints for Nerds. As if journalism matters."

    Yeah, fuck that journalism stuff!

  4. Easier Method on Ireland Cracks Down on Online Scammers · · Score: 1, Funny

    I've got a method that'd take care of the offline scammers in Ireland, too.

    Declare war on the leprechauns.

    You know those little fuckers are the ones up to this. God damn dirty leprechaun tricks...

  5. Bad on FTC Recommends Bounty on Spammers · · Score: 0, Funny

    1. I can think of a lot of different types of criminals that would deserve a six-figure bounty before a spammer.

    2. Taxpayer funded? Bullshit. I don't care if it comes from a non-profit organization but there is absolutely no reason why taxpayers should have to fund six-figure bounties on the heads of people who cause an annoyance. Fuck, put it on Johovah's Witnesses first. I actually have to stand up to deal with them.

  6. Well on Animal Robots · · Score: -1, Funny

    You could model robots after sheep. That would make the question of "Do androids dream of electric sheep?" a bit more complex.

    Yet again, there's another question that would deserve an answer. Do engineers get lonely like farmers do?

  7. Pepper Pad? on Pepper Pad 2 Linux Web Pad · · Score: -1

    I gave a girl a pepper pad once. She did not like it one bit. Which befuddles me considering that she begged for the pad and made some nasty threats when I teased her with it. Turns out she had to get under the bathtup faucet, kick her feet up on the wall and run water on her crotch for three hours (well, she does that from time to times anyway, but you get my point).

    She didn't speak to me for a couple of weeks, but I'll be damned if she ever does ask a dude for a maxi again.

  8. Don't Forget on Alienware Reveals 4GHz desktop · · Score: -1

    It's nice and shiny too. That's why most of the cool kids buy Alienware. Shiny looks + high price + supposedly top-notch hardware = pwn.

    Well, at least in their minds.

  9. Recall Sounds About Right on Madden-ing Glitch Irks Gamers · · Score: 0, Insightful

    Basically, if this catches on, people using this glitch could ruin online gameplay. The people in the know would exploit the cheat. It also makes for a cheap way to win offline as well. The fact that this one affects the mechanics of gameplay should warrant a recall in my mind.

    Now, I'm not talking about having the FTC step in here, but EA should do the right thing. They seem pretty screwed by this. If they own up to the mistake they get made fun of in the press, by players, and it gives Sega Sports some more firepower. On the other hand, they could piss off that very large Madden fanbase and a large portion of them could migrate to Sega Sports. Granted, some people do play both. However, many people are already solely playing ESPN NFL Football because of its $20 price point.

    If they don't plan on fixing this, they should probably scrap the Madden Challenge. People can probably find sneaky ways to pull this glitch off (possibly over multiple plays) to where a judge wouldn't be able to throw out the person using it to their advantage.

    This could become a major blow to EA's bread and butter franchise. EA needs to come to a smart, fast decision on how to handle this. You can bet your ass that they're busting out the champagne at Sega headquarters over this one.

  10. Re:Mortal Combat on Acclaim Entertainment Files for Bankruptcy · · Score: 1, Informative

    Mortal Kombat is in safe enough hands as Midway is the developer. Acclaim just played publisher for a bit (MK I and II home releases). MK Deception will not be affected by this.

    On a side note, way to be late with this story Slashdot.

  11. The Name on Liberated Games Launches · · Score: -1, Funny

    Well, it's nice that they start a site for this and all, but did they really need to say that the games were "liberated"?

    It sounds more like these games feel like riding horseback on a beach because they got a fresh squirt of Summer's Eve or something.

    Yet again, for some reason, people who say that their software was "liberated" kinda remind me of douches. Am I wrong?

  12. Re:Wow.... on Red Brains vs. Blue Brains? · · Score: 4, Funny

    Well, the article summary interested me, so I conducted my own unbiased, completely unfunded research on this issue.

    Within a matter of seconds, I found that people who agree with me on political issues are rather brainy. On the other hand, I found that people who disagree with me on political issues are extremely braindead.

    This, indeed, is good new for libertarians everywhere.

  13. Heh, Funny on The IOC's 'Clean Venue' Policy · · Score: -1

    I can see how some people might think this has to deal with "Your Rights", but how does this fall under "Your Rights Online"?

    Are Sundays so slow that Slashdot now tries to give regular news?

  14. No on Is America Ready For Competitive Gaming On TV? · · Score: 0, Insightful

    America's not ready and probably never will be ready.

    One problem is the low barrier of entry. You plop down cash for the game, you take it home and play it. In time, you'll probably be about as good as almost everybody else that you play. That's not the case with games like chess, where there's a very good chance that you'll never be at the top.

    You don't have to be an athlete to play a video game, which is why so many people play! People watch athletics because not many people can become great athletes.

    Poker seems to be an exception to the rule as of late. Who knows how long that will last but there are things that separate that from video games. One, big money is involved. Two, the big money creates drama. Three, and most important, they end up getting people who are considered cool, like on Celebrity Poker. Have you ever heard of a video gamer be called cool outside of the community?

    No matter how much money is in the pot for this stuff, a gamer has a long way to go from becoming cool. And remember, the televised poker craze just started this year. Athletics have been a television mainstay.

    But, in America, people like to be active participants in something when they can be. Most can't play in sports professionally, but they can play video games and end up becoming good at them. So, there's no way in hell this will have widespread appeal. Perhaps it could be expanded on at G4TechTV, but even then I don't see it successful.

    Gotta be honest here, it's just too damn geeky.

  15. Re:Terrible, terrible distortion of reality on Racial Issues Alleged In GTA San Andreas, Other Games · · Score: -1, Funny

    I'm guessing that the whites in LA would have formed gangs, but they were probably afraid of being called racist.

  16. Re:In other news.. on Sun Working to Obsolete Motherboards · · Score: -1

    It doesn't count anymore. The last one was made in the brand new IT section, this one was not. See, see? Two completely different articles! If this was indeed a duplicate, it would be in IT category!

    Slashdot would never post anything resembling a dupe; you should know that. It seems like everybody tries to tarnish a good track record...

  17. No Worries on Licensing Computer Techs As TV Repairmen · · Score: -1, Funny

    This won't go too far. There's bound to be one computer technician who knows a bit of voodoo down there.

    You just don't fuck with people who know voodoo.

  18. Good Luck Uwe on Uwe Boll Talks Bloodrayne, Alone In The Dark Movies · · Score: -1

    Nobody's going to step into a theatre to see another one of your horrible movies. I'd bust out the public apology for The House of the Dead before you start marketing Alone in the Dark.

    And, if you wanted to be extra nice, you'd turn over the films you're directing to somebody else. Maybe give Alone in the Dark to David Fincher and Bloodrayne to Ridley Scott. However, seeing how beggars can't be choosers, and I am indeed begging that you don't make these films, I'd be content with Rob Zombie.

  19. Quit Crying on Dunst Demands Asset Reduction For Spider-Man 2 Videogame · · Score: -1

    I got to approve the video game, the way she looks. They made her boobs gigantic. I was like, 'Tone down the boobs, please!' It was a little ridiculous.

    A C-cup would look gigantic to her.

  20. Whoopee! on Malaysian Government Prefers Open Code · · Score: -1

    Yes, open source doesn't kill jobs... when the government forces its existance as part of its operation!

    Sorry, this proves nothing. Keep arguing.

  21. Rule of Thumb on More Randomness, More Replayability For Games? · · Score: -1

    When thinking about using random maps and things of that nature in a game, don't use it in a game where the story plays a large role. While there are probably worthy exceptions, when the story matters, so does the cohesiveness of the world. Don't destroy the world of the game by copping out and doing random stuff.

  22. Has to be Said... on Bobby Fischer Found · · Score: 0, Funny

    Checkmate, bitch!

  23. Ports on Sega Dreamcast Gets Rogue RPG Conversion · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I hear a bunch about how great the Dreamcast homebrew scene is, but can't they do better than ports and clones? Are there any good homebrews that don't fall into either category?

    So an old game can play on a different platform. Yeah, that's nifty, but where's my original games? Is this the best that they can do?

    Because if it is, what's the point?

  24. Not Hopping On on Dan Bricklin on Software That Lasts 200 Years · · Score: -1

    Part of what makes software great is because it's relatively disposable. Software development is one area where you actually get to reinvent the wheel as many times as you want. Why the hell would you want to take away that freedom in any area of software?

    No, thanks, I prefer things the way that they are now. No point in locking ourselves into this method when we'll probably figure out a better way to do complete certain software tasks in no time.

  25. Re:Bitch at What Makes You Rich on GTA San Andreas Goes Swimming, Gangbanging, Smuggling · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Excuse me, since 1997, according to Moby Games.

    Wow, the series is that old...