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The last time we pissed off the Candians they burned the White House down.

http://www.deadtroll.com/index2.html?/1812/index.h tml~content

Thanks a lot Bush.

This song's for you...

I've been ready to kill people over that game.

Sounds like this

nuthin but 12:00 flashers.

You must be a *nix user.

Doesn't matter, every computer crashes, because Every OS Sucks

http://www.deadtroll.com/index2.html?/video/ossuck scable.html~content
"Every OS Sucks"


Well it was slow, it was buggy so they wrote it again,

and now they're up to OS ten

They'll charge you for the beta then charge you again,

but the MacOS still sucks.

...and now I have 2! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA! Love, Mister Funnypants http://www.deadtroll.com/

"Your computer is broken and full of viruses... I suggest you boil it to kill the viruses, then give it to your kids to play with and go buy an iMac... it's a computer especially made for idio... uh... people like you..." http://deadtroll.com/index2.html?/video/livehellde sk.html~content ... sort of from a little helpdesk quicktime video thingy i made.

The Privacy Song by Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie can be our anthem:

Hey everybody, gather round! It's the Privacy Song!

I don't have no privacy,
neither do you...
The government is watching us
and Wal-Mart's watching, too.
Your doctor keeps your urine
for to clone your DNA.
Those albums that you bought last night -
well, now they know you're gay!

Interpol has got a file on you,
so does the FBI.
McDonald's scans your face
and there's a chip in your french fry.
You're scanned, recorded, sold and sorted
to a database in the sky.
So whatever you do
when they're talking to you
for Gods' sakes, lie!
Lie, lie, lie lie lie...

Lie about your income,
your age, gender and race.
Spell your name incorrectly
so it's harder to trace.
We can beat them back with bullshit,
we can rub it in their face.
We can stick a big old monkey wrench
right up their database.
Lie lie lie lie...
Lie lie lie lie...

You see now, Wal-Mart thinks I'm a seventy-five year old pensioner
and Sony thinks I'm a single mother of ten.
The airline company thinks I make seven hundred grand a year
and Visa thinks I'm an Inuit woman named Ben.
Lie lie lie lie...
Lie lie lie lie...

You can lie to the man,
you can lie right through your tooth.
They can take away our privacy,
but they can't have the truth!
Lie about your favorite drink,
your viewing habits and the color of your sink.
Make up a phone number,
make up a postal code.
If we all lie together,
their computer might explode.
Lie lie lie lie...
Lie lie lie lie...

So come on, everybody, let's beat those privacy-invading bastards!
Let's beat them with disinformation and organized chaos! Let's crash
that computer, let's skew those statistics! Because let's face it,
there's only one magical person who knows all our secrets... and if
Santa ever does sell his database, we're all screwed.

The Privacy Song by Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie can be our anthem:

Hey everybody, gather round! It's the Privacy Song!

I don't have no privacy,
neither do you...
The government is watching us
and Wal-Mart's watching, too.
Your doctor keeps your urine
for to clone your DNA.
Those albums that you bought last night -
well, now they know you're gay!

Interpol has got a file on you,
so does the FBI.
McDonald's scans your face
and there's a chip in your french fry.
You're scanned, recorded, sold and sorted
to a database in the sky.
So whatever you do
when they're talking to you
for Gods' sakes, lie!
Lie, lie, lie lie lie...

Lie about your income,
your age, gender and race.
Spell your name incorrectly
so it's harder to trace.
We can beat them back with bullshit,
we can rub it in their face.
We can stick a big old monkey wrench
right up their database.
Lie lie lie lie...
Lie lie lie lie...

You see now, Wal-Mart thinks I'm a seventy-five year old pensioner
and Sony thinks I'm a single mother of ten.
The airline company thinks I make seven hundred grand a year
and Visa thinks I'm an Inuit woman named Ben.
Lie lie lie lie...
Lie lie lie lie...

You can lie to the man,
you can lie right through your tooth.
They can take away our privacy,
but they can't have the truth!
Lie about your favorite drink,
your viewing habits and the color of your sink.
Make up a phone number,
make up a postal code.
If we all lie together,
their computer might explode.
Lie lie lie lie...
Lie lie lie lie...

So come on, everybody, let's beat those privacy-invading bastards!
Let's beat them with disinformation and organized chaos! Let's crash
that computer, let's skew those statistics! Because let's face it,
there's only one magical person who knows all our secrets... and if
Santa ever does sell his database, we're all screwed.

> There's a system that doesn't suck?

Not according to these guys

For those who don't know, the above excerpt comes from the comedy genius of Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie, specifically the track "Every OS Sucks".

(courtesy of Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie

Internet Help Desk (studio version) :-D

--Paul

The filters are his Mole Man Army. He doesn't release them because they're chained to their desks.

Brave men an women out there need help and they get these guys.

reminded me of this little gem:
"The Internet was invented by the American military back in the late '60s. It was designed to be a durable, scalable, decentralized information delivery system so that in the event of a nuclear attack, American military leaders would still have access to pornography."

Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie - "Keep your parents off the internet" (I'm not afiliated with them)

I'm sorry we burnt down your White House during the War of 1812. I see you've rebuilt it! It's very nice.

Go to http://www.ampcast.com/music/22488/artist.php and get the Sys Admin song by Wes Borg (also known for his Internet Helpdesk skit) We're eating pizza for lunch today in celebration, and I'm being taken to see Napoleon Dynamite tonight for the same reason.

Some they just brainwash and release, like Cory Doctorow. Sad.

There's a "Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie" song about burning down the Whitehouse, actually. They're a band from Alberta.

To be fair, you guys burned down the town of Newark (now Niagara-on-the-Lake) first. And there were only women and children there at the time.

Perhaps you should check out the Microsoft Digital Pants

I don't think these people understand the severity of the situation here or that they even care

We Slashdot readers are completely out of touch with how the rest of the world views computers and the Internet. Remember the Internet Help Desk video... the part where the tech support guy says "Do you see a big blue 'E' or a big green 'N'? I see, a big black nothing, OK, turn your computer ON." The other day I was shocked to find out that my own wife didn't know what IE was even though she'd been using it for years. She's now on Firefox, but I had to explain what a browser is. It's amazing to see how regular, non computer-oriented people see the Internet, or the web, or whatever they want to call it. Click on the Internet button, and there's the Internet.

Before the masses will start heeding the Department of Homeland Security or their Slashdotting friends or family members, they have to receive some kind of different education. The Windows view of trying to make everything simple and automatic makes it so the people can use the Internet for years and not even know what a browser is. The technical knowledge of the typcial Slashdot user only intimidates and scares the average user, so that doesn't help them, either. Getting our friends to switch to Linux/Firebird/whatever Open Source programs will not fix the ignorance problem, because we have to dumb things down to the point where everything is automatic and Windowsy to get them to use it. There has to be some other education for people out there. The Windows way won't help the masses, and neither will the Linux way. I don't have any solutions, only problems to state.

Is that related to the ones on Digital Pants?

Here, this is a prime example of help desk training.....

Support Training

Shows how much the Lisa sucked too. But the Mac still sucked until it got a larger screen and colour. Of course, Every OS Sucks! (needs QuickTime, which sucks too.)

Re:As Wes Borg would say...


See "Welcome to the Internet Help Desk" at http://deadtroll.com/

Its a a quote from three dead trolls in a baggie, a canadian humor group

Get a "Professional" version of Windows (2000 or XP), and DON'T give them admin rights. XP Home won't work because you don't get file system protection. Give explicit write permission to the places where bady written apps need it. (that takes a while...)

Install a firewall, like ZoneAlarm. Make sure it won't complain to them in normal operations, or they'll get into the habit of allowing everything.

Disable IE, or at least all of its fancy features. Same goes for Outlook. Install appropriate alternatives that either don't have as many security holes, or are buggy enough to mutilate any attempted exploit beyond recognition.

Everytime you visit, log in as admin and run Windows Update.

And if that sounds like too much work, just lie and steal.

I believe it was Wes Borg who once said, "Next time they say that their computer isn't working, tell them it's broken. Tell them to give it to you to play with and to go out and buy an iMac. It's a computer especiall made for id....... um.... for Mommies and Daddies."

http://www.deadtroll.com/video/parents.html

I follow some good advice in this matter. If they don't get on the computer, they can't screw it up :^)

"Lie about your income, your age, gender and Race,
Spell your name incorrectly, so it's harder to trace."

That is the philosophy behind Three Dead Troll's fantastic Privacy Song

If anyone here hasn't heard of them, you really should have a listen. Not sure what Slashdot will do to their download link though.

Less on-topic but still relevant - I went through a phase of entering bollocks on forms to see what got through. I recieved regular letters from my ISP for Ms. Penelope Pittstop and got regular junk mail for Hugh G. Rection.

Hopefully the new tennants in my old flat are now getting some of the other names that weren't processed before I left. ;)

If you haven't seen it already, go to the Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie web site and watch their "Welcome to the Internet Help Desk" video.

Internet Help Desk skit (it's in quicktime)

It's mildly amusing, but there is grains of truth in the humor...

e.

Spybot, AdAware and Spyblaster should be part of ALL pre-packaged computers with documentation in a special yellow and red folder marked urgent.

Whoa, all this heated discussion made me dig for an oldie, still one of my favourites...

For your car industry analogy, it's more like not being able to use the same gas without refining it yourself. You can't just install your programs on Linux - you have Red Hat versions, and Debian versions, etc.. While this may be ok for slashdot readers, for the masses it just doesn't work. With Windows, you pretty much know that .exe file will run on your machine, and if it doesn't you download it again or take the CDs back to the store and get them replaced.

Linux has several problems. The first is related to what I call the Windows Factor. This is the degree to which it has been dumbed down for the average computer (Windows) user. Linux just hasn't been reduced to their level yet, and trying to get these people working on Linux would be nothing but an exercise in futility. The next thing wrong with Linux is software. I've heard the arguements, open source alternatives blah blah, and while that may be true, I wanna play all the cool new computer games on my PC, and they aren't made for Linux. Another thing Linux lacks is marketing. When people start seeing ads for Linux on CNN maybe they'll start running it.

However, Linux DOES have stability, versatility, and power. Great for servers. I love linux for servers, and wouldn't touch Microsoft software for that purpose. Good for a number of small and large businesses too, if you get them weaned off of Microsoft Office (a task that Microsoft's pricing policies is indeed making easier). Not good for games, which today largely run only on Windows, or Windows and Mac at best, and thus not all that good for most home computing. Maybe when that is addressed, we can really get Linux going somewhere.

And we could go to the moon and play pong on it. All on 32 kilobytes of ram! Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie have some thoughts about these computers!

this song by Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie

Here are all our videos, mostly in quicktime.
Why quicktime?
Because it's the least evil compressed video format, that's why.

Here are all our videos, mostly in quicktime.
Why quicktime?
Because it's the least evil compressed video format, that's why.

if you did try it, I wonder if those kids will ever meet their father alive, or in a wheelchair.

Reminds me of something by Wes Borg..

"How come condoms only come in packs of 5 or 6, but women only come in packs of 2 or 3?"

"I saw a pack of 24 condoms the other day! I personally think that a pack of 24 condoms should come with free Gatoraid and crutches."

Their mp3.com site is linked off of their page. The video's pretty non-value added, IMHO, just the guys in the studio. Great song!