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Relevant Dilbert is relevant

My boss is a 4th degree black belt in some martial art.

It's called Yoga.

Dilbert covered that.

No XKCD but, how about a Dilbert?

http://dilbert.com/strip/1995-...

Very much on topic. ;-)

Certainly google's servers would burst into flames with the mental health states routinely on display here. I expect it would come back a lot like this Dilbert strip with Wally.

I'm gonna write me a new minivan this afternoon!

As Dilbert so gently points out http://dilbert.com/strip/2015-...

Having worked for big pharma, that is more than enough proof that patents should be abolished. Oh but it cost so much to get a drug to market you say. They don't pay for that, government grants and university "collaborations" do. But who will make our drugs? Well for a start we may actually get drugs that are useful and help, and will even be given only to patients that need them. Secondly we will get rid of the "Shut up and take our fucking pills" pharma medicine. It is like homeopathy. Only with real side effects.

http://dilbert.com/strip/2009-...

Burning all the big pharma to the ground would increase the health of the general public.

This Dilbert cartoon (from the early 90s!) is what immediately came to mind.

http://dilbert.com/strip/2015-...

The problem is that women generally have other things of interest in their lives besides coding. Find a way to ruin their social lives, and a few more might just turn to coding instead of chocolate. It's a numbers game.

Even when management can't do it, Visual Basic can cause trouble simply because they know about it. I was once paid to create a huge abortion of a personnel/resource tracking application inside of Excel, where the managers could each work on a sheet and then through the magic of VBA, upper management could combine all of the data, query Exchange for personnel data, and then make pivot tables. I tried to talk him out of it, but he insisted - so I made it.

He got fired, but the behemoth lives on. For a while I would get asked to help debug it, as it was delicate. Eventually they had me hand it off to this poor bastard in IT, but as far as I know they are still using it.

To my delight, Dilbert published this strip right in the middle of it all.

"In this edition of Tina's hourly newsletter, I compare our projects to various types of wood."

Or Mr. Trump got his haircuts from Dogbert.

Motivation is a wrinkled, green thing that sometimes smells faintly of ass.

Sub in game rooms for dancing dogs.

How many of the 5 star reviews are coming from users who already use IOS over andriod.

And how many of the 1 star reviews come from Android users who hate iOS despite never having used it? ...welcome to the computer operating system holy wars.

http://dilbert.com/strip/1989-11-17
All mammals have hair.
Whales are mammals.
Therefore, whales have hair.
Shave the whales!

Like this, probably. http://dilbert.com/strip/1995-...

She wants her web pages to be red. To her, this is "programming". What color does she want her database to be? Then she can be an SQL programmer!

I understand her next project will be to create a national wireless system... After all, how hard can it be to not put up wires?

also from Dilbert.

She wants her web pages to be red. To her, this is "programming". What color does she want her database to be? Then she can be an SQL programmer!

I see you are from the Dogbert school of risk reduction.

http://dilbert.com/strip/2008-...

Thing about government grants is that they generally go to the best connected. The lab I used to work at once had its grant yanked out from under it and given to another group (who produced no tangible results with it) at the behest of a local congressman. Those types of people can just sit back and rely on their connections rather than relying on the results they produce.

It's all human nature. You either accept it and try to harness it (as the Free Market does), deny it (and get overwhelmed by corruption), or try to force it to change (and kill everyone in the process).

Oh please! You do understand the nature of marketing, don't you? You gotta go with what works.

What astonishing douchebags.

Clearly, he understands it completely.

http://blog.dilbert.com/post/1...

""
Like many of you, I have been entertained by the unstoppable clown car that is Donald Trump. On the surface, and several layers deep as well, Trump appears to be a narcissistic blow-hard with inadequate credentials to lead a country.

The only problem with my analysis is that there is an eerie consistency to his success so far. Is there a method to it? Is there some sort of system at work under the hood?

Probably yes. Allow me to describe some of the hypnosis and persuasion methods Mr. Trump has employed on you. (Most of you know I am a trained hypnotist and this topic is a hobby of mine.)
""

Trump is a complicated subject... because its insane... but the situation is so nutty that he starts to make sense... which tells you how insane the situation is...

Americans are furious. Both sides of the political spectrum.

Republicans are pissed.
Democrats are pissed.

No one trusts anyone.
Both side's politicians are full of shit.

There is a general consensus that the elites are fucking over the people at large.

The republicans tried to purge their own party with the "tea party" and similar things. Democrats only see this form their perspective but they don't realize that a fair amount of the animus was directed at the establishment republicans which is why the establishment doesn't like the tea party.

The democrats tried to purge their own party with stuff like code pink, occupy wall street, and now black lives matter.

And all of this is failing. The Establishment of both parties is very good at stonewalling this stuff. Black Lives Matter shows up to a Bernie speech and basically takes it over. They try the same thing at a Hillary speech and they don't even get in the front door. Think about that.

And that's basically what has been going on. So what is Donald Trump?

In my view, he's a purgative. A drug you take to induce vomiting. You accidentally eat poison... it has to get out. So you take a purgative... and you vomit.

The American electorate has been dry heaving for decades. We're that cat that just can't seem to get up that golf ball sized fur ball. And we just stand there back arched... dry heaving trying to get it out.

Do I like Donald? He's a weird guy. But I think BOTH parties should have someone like him running. Because Hillary is business as usual, Bernie is weak, and I've not seen anyone else out of them that is ready to challenge the establishment.

To paraphrase Augustus, "things that can't go on forever - don't."... The status quo is not acceptable. The corruption, the incompetence, the deceit... it has to stop.

We tried just voting them out. That failed.
We tried splinter political factions. That failed.
We tried lobbying and bribery to make them stop. That failed.

So... we're open to the "unstoppable clown car" that is Donald Trump.

If this fails as well... it just means the madness will be escalated another notch. This is not stopping.

Something that I think the establishment is starting to wake up to is that people are f'ing furious. And while some may giggle at the fury, it is unwise to not appreciate that people behave increasingly unpredictably as the fury builds. The sort of rage that is building is the kind where you rip off your OWN arm and beat someone to death with it. The establishment can't handle that.

I assume Donald is going to lose here... but whomever does win... whomever is in charge... they're going to have to change the way things are done. Because the whole "you need to pass the law to see what is in it" thing along with powerful people blatantly violating federal law and getting away with it... The big powerful companies fucking up and then getting bailed out by everyone that didn't fuck up.

This is starting to get dangerous.

I joined Amazon this year (through an acquisition) and I don't see anything described in the article. People don't work 80-hour weeks (buildings are almost empty after 7pm), the typical office hours are 10am-6pm and the general level of assholery is very low. Also, we have free coffee ( http://dilbert.com/strip/2015-... ) and red Swingline staplers on every desk!

As for interviews - it's quite likely that your interviewers had several interviews before and they are just as draining as for candidates. Except that interviewers will also have to write feedback and do a debriefing next day.

See: http://dilbert.com/search_resu...

I remember when this came out. http://dilbert.com/search_resu...

Apple and Google replied, in essence, that they could not [access the phones] — because they did not know the user’s passcode. (...United Way Update...) There is no evidence that it would address institutional data breaches

In words of one syllable (well, I can't do anything about the fact that "Apple" and "Google" are two syllables, so the authors of the article will just have to pop an aspirin and such it up): The whole point is to stop that kind of data leak -- if Apple and Google don't have it, a bad guy can't steal it from them.

Obligatory Dilbert:

http://dilbert.com/strip/1995-...

It's a problem not restricted to animal husbandry.

Obligatory Dilbert

Those women can add clothes to solve being too cold.

Clothes doesn't help after a point. If it's too cold, one's fingers can get cold, stiff and uncoordinated and that makes it harder to type. Ignoring the fact that women have lower peripheral circulation than men on average exacerbating the problem, I personally find that at my ideal comfortable temperature for working in indoor winter clothes (i.e. long trousers, t-shirt) it's in fact too cold for me to type with 100% comfort. I find that I'm something like the woman in this one: http://dilbert.com/strip/2005-...

But yes, it makes sense to go for the coldest temperature that people can tolerate given normal office attire. Sadly for me, fingerless gloves aren't normal office attire, so that temperature is above my ideal level.

I guess the solution to this is that women should stay home in the kitchen and bake pies.

(There's absolutely no way this isn't getting modded troll.)

Those women can add clothes to solve being too cold.

Clothes doesn't help after a point. If it's too cold, one's fingers can get cold, stiff and uncoordinated and that makes it harder to type. Ignoring the fact that women have lower peripheral circulation than men on average exacerbating the problem, I personally find that at my ideal comfortable temperature for working in indoor winter clothes (i.e. long trousers, t-shirt) it's in fact too cold for me to type with 100% comfort. I find that I'm something like the woman in this one: http://dilbert.com/strip/2005-...

But yes, it makes sense to go for the coldest temperature that people can tolerate given normal office attire. Sadly for me, fingerless gloves aren't normal office attire, so that temperature is above my ideal level.

Did your company have a bug bounty? You and your coworker could've gotten new cars...

That's the problem with using metrics as incentive. You'll find people caring more about the metrics rather than the outcomes that are actually important.

I think that this Dilbert comic captures the idea quite well.

The Apple Watch is a relationship thing.

The Snapchat CEO has a good point. Why would I look at the tiny picture on a phone when I can look at a big one on my desktop?

He's probably wrong, though. People are both dumber than a box of rocks and richer than they deserve to be. This is why fools and their money are soon parted. They'll pay for the watch, they'll pay for the apps, and they'll be no better off for it. It just takes a little time, that's all.

agreed

Well, if the whole rocket launching thing doesn't work out, you can open up a bird restaurant. "Flash cooked in flight" and all.

There's no risk!

http://dilbert.com/strip/1992-...

A quantum leap in 360 degree flips. I literally blew up when I read that. But I could care less

http://dilbert.com/strip/1992-...

http://dilbert.com/strip/1996-...

Thanks for sending three links that are not as relevant as you think they are. :)

Never mind gaming, I'll be using that LED display to surf the net

Relevant: http://dilbert.com/strip/2015-...

http://dilbert.com/strip/2013-...

Dilberito (archived copy)

Related blog post by Scott

See also Dilbert's Tour of Accounting.

http://dilbert.com/strip/2007-...

Dilbert explains:
http://dilbert.com/strip/2000-...

Yes, the word the GP was looking for is "geologically." On a geologic time scale, humans are insignificant. That being said, rather than believe the guy who wrote this article I'm in more of the Scott Adams Law of Slow-Moving Disasters.
http://blog.dilbert.com/post/1...

Scott Adams (Dilbert guy) thinks that these slow moving threats are ones that society will handle, because they do have visibility.

Initial:
http://blog.dilbert.com/post/1...

Update:
http://blog.dilbert.com/post/1...

I tend to agree with this: there's only so much buck-passing that can happen. I'll also point out that several messes today have literally everyone agreeing that they should be cleaned up, but they are just maneuvering such that the "other" guy (whether that distinction is factual or not) pays the price, be it in dollars, land, or the lives of fighting men.

Scott Adams (Dilbert guy) thinks that these slow moving threats are ones that society will handle, because they do have visibility.

Initial:
http://blog.dilbert.com/post/1...

Update:
http://blog.dilbert.com/post/1...

I tend to agree with this: there's only so much buck-passing that can happen. I'll also point out that several messes today have literally everyone agreeing that they should be cleaned up, but they are just maneuvering such that the "other" guy (whether that distinction is factual or not) pays the price, be it in dollars, land, or the lives of fighting men.