Slashdot Mirror

It's all fun and games until the Lawyerclysm hits:
http://humorix.org/10187
http://humorix.org/10303

...it hits 99% and the economy collapses. Nobody wants to work in any occupation except the legal field. Indeed, with the high cost of legal insurance and the virtual guarantee of being sued at least once a month, nobody can afford to be anything but a lawyer, judge, or politician

It's all fun and games until the Lawyerclysm hits:
http://humorix.org/10187
http://humorix.org/10303

...it hits 99% and the economy collapses. Nobody wants to work in any occupation except the legal field. Indeed, with the high cost of legal insurance and the virtual guarantee of being sued at least once a month, nobody can afford to be anything but a lawyer, judge, or politician

Lawyers To Be Replaced With Perl Scripts
http://humorix.org/10523

This script, originally created as a way to generate mundane legal documents, achieved sentience last week and easily passed the Turing Test.

Here's a link from an old website from 2006: http://humorix.org/10384

Although not quite in the same style, this idea's already been implemented.

GNU/Hurd 1.0 released

Do you really, I mean really care about whether they had your slashdot password?

Depends on your UID. Mine, since it's in the very low four digit range, is probably worth some decent change, though I doubt if it really counts as a get rich quick scheme. Still, I can think of a whole lot of passwords that I'd be less protective of than my slashdot one.

Would I be protective of your slashdot password? No.

(No, not even if I were you.) :)

A Windows port is currently under way.

The did it already. Not surprisingly they gave up on writing a totally new kernel and used emacs instead.

http://humorix.org/articles/2006/06/hurd/

Don't forget Tuxissa!

Yes, yes it does.

not lbt ..?

Yes, this is the perfect chance for wine to become mainstream and pick up loads of developers to hack those rare apps into working.

ah, you mean Emacs. Add 70MB for all of the above, except maybe the ebook reader.

You just need to install the bsodsim package; that'll take care of it.

Security will be maximum

If you thought the security holes in Internet Explorer were large enough to push a G-class star through, then you haven't seen anything yet. A new report released by the prestigious firm of Internet Security ® Us, Inc., warns that "organic-based holistic HTML parsing systems" (i.e. the human brain) pose the greatest threat to Internet security.

But a survey say that Evil Geniuses Less Interested In World Domination.

You know you shouldn't do that! The human brain runs 100% in root mode! see l oit/</a>

http://humorix.org/articles/2005/10/baseball/ I now have definate proof that humorix does predict the future! (Either that, or slashdot has produced a new record by reporting news 2 months late) Hmm... better not go to the theatre in 2011 (http://humorix.org/articles/2005/12/head-explodes /)

http://humorix.org/articles/2005/10/baseball/ I now have definate proof that humorix does predict the future! (Either that, or slashdot has produced a new record by reporting news 2 months late) Hmm... better not go to the theatre in 2011 (http://humorix.org/articles/2005/12/head-explodes /)

Sounds like you should check out the brief history of Linux.

Every time you post something like this you remind me more and more of why I friended you. It's a good thing Humorix hasn't patented stories about evil supercorporations merging though. ;)

Humorixia?

As much as I like Linux, this article isn't that funny, bending the truth as much as microsoft has bent it the other way. If I want to read a funny jokey biased article I'll head over to Humorix. Check this one out http://humorix.org/articles/2005/05/openbsd/

Instead of being on some Linux conquest that one is just there for laughs :)

Apparently, yes you can get fired for choosing Microsoft.

Humorix though this up before you did.

although this author is biased, there's only one truly unbiased review
-EEDOK

Damn, will they AGAIN[1] relase real news instead of fake?

[1] First time: 1 place (at a certain moment of time) in google with "worst portal" keywords.

http://humorix.org/articles/2005/04/slashdot-edito rs/ Nah. I don't think they're supposed to edit.

I'm sure you meant to post this link...

Reminds me of this Humorix story from a couple of days back:

http://humorix.org/articles/2004/10/plain-text/

Lawyers To Be Replaced With Perl Scripts

Update: Perl Script Gains Citizenship

Lawyers To Be Replaced With Perl Scripts

Update: Perl Script Gains Citizenship

Having trouble getting work done? Reading Slashdot too much?

Are you in need for Slashdot when you're forced offline? Download this first and you'll always have your fix.

Then again, you could just not use Lockout...

79 stories posted (with obligatory, self-promoting links) this year. That's about one every three days. What does this blog offer besides copy and paste links to the original articles? Advertising!

This is pathetic, and it's obvious there is some kind of monetary link between Roll 'Em and the /. editors.

Way back in 1999, this was funny. Now, it's just sadly true:

http://humorix.org/articles/1999/02/slashdot-bait/

Subject: MAKE MONEY FAST FROM SLASHDOT!!!!!!

Date: February 2, 1999

From: friend@public.com

To: humorix@i-want-a-website.com

Dear Friend,

You can earn $50,000 or more in next the 90 days. Seem impossible? Read on for details.

This message has been targeted to webmasters of Linux-related sites. You are probably familiar with the Slashdot.org "News for Nerds" site. You've probably heard about the "Slashdot Effect". Now, we want to introduce a new term that could change your life: "Slashdot Baiting".

As shown by the investigation of the Slashdot Effect by Stephen Adler, this force can be a significant source of traffic. Lots of traffic. Thousands of visitors within hours. Thousands of eyeballs looking and clicking at YOUR banner advertisements. In short, the Slashdot Effect, if properly utilized, can produce a significant amount of advertising revenue.

That's where we at MoneyDot Lucrative Marketing International Group, Inc. come in. We know how to exploit the Slashdot Effect. We call our strategy "Slashdot Baiting".

The process is simple:

Move your site (if you haven't already) to a host that offers unlimited bandwidth. Put lots of advertisements and other marketing fluff on your website. "Bait" one of the Slashdot posters to link to your site. Receive thousands of visitors within hours; show lots of banners. Cash the checks from your sponsors. Repeat the process.

Step #3 is the tough part -- if you don't have our help. We here at MoneyDot Lucrative Marketing (MLM) have studied the process by which Rob Malda, Sengan, Hemos, and the other Slashdot contributors decide which links to feature. We know what they will, and won't publish. We know exactly what to do to get them to hit your site with the Slashdot Effect.

It's quite painless. We have formulated 101 easy ways to get your site mentioned on Slashdot

Let's take an example, Bait Tactic #65: "If you write for a mainstream media source, mention Slashdot in one of your articles. One of your readers is bound to be a Slashdot regular, and is likely to tell one of the Slashdot contributors about your article." This worked for the New York Times. They mentioned the uproar on Slashdot in response to a patent on real-time gaming. Soon thereafter, the Times article was mentioned on Slashdot, resulting in thousands of visitors. If Slashdot Baiting works for the New York Times, it can work for you.

Interested in pursuing Slashdot Baiting and obtaining financial independence? Want to make $50,000 (or more!) within 90 days?

Then purchase MLM's "Slashdot Baiting Kit", which will contain everything you need to know to put this powerful marketing force to work for YOU! This Kit contains all 101 Bait Tactics, information on how to attract lucrative sponsors, pointers to website hosting services known to handle the stress of the Slashdot Effect, along with other important information you need to get started! We also throw in a warranty: if your site isn't mentioned on Slashdot within 90 days of using this Kit, we'll give you your money back [minus processing fees], guaranteed!

Purchase the SLASHDOT BAITING KIT today for only $49.95! Don't delay! Call 1-877-SLSH-DOT toll-free now! Serious inquiries only; please have your credit card handy when calling.

Thank you for your time.

No, make sure that he leaves the tinfoil hat on! We have to make sure that we *know who they are*!

IMHO, the metric system is doomed in the US because it's not American
That's why this was designed!

Here is the AntiDot article, pretty funny.

September 9 - One Fortune 500,000 company becomes the first in the United States to outsource its CEO position to Indonesia. The general public is unable to tell the difference between the old American CEO (making $15.4 million annual salary) and the new Indonesian CEO (making 23 cents per day). Many investors begin to demand that all companies outsource their CEOs, thereby saving trillions of dollars in salaries, corporate jets, and country club fees.

September 9 - One Fortune 500,000 company becomes the first in the United States to outsource its CEO position to Indonesia. The general public is unable to tell the difference between the old American CEO (making $15.4 million annual salary) and the new Indonesian CEO (making 23 cents per day). Many investors begin to demand that all companies outsource their CEOs, thereby saving trillions of dollars in salaries, corporate jets, and country club fees.

Anyone care to use the method with RFC1149 Avian Carrier Protocol, namely Using Ping to determine Speed of Flight!

I recall there were some guys who actually implemented it. However, although some still teach it, it's not too commonly implemented in the USA nowadays, since the FBI think it's a threat to national security.

"McBride proudly dumped two phone-book-sized binders of press clippings on the stage during his SCO Forum keynote on Monday as proof that his company had become more relevant in the high technology industry."

http://www.humorix.org/articles/may03/sco.shtml

Well ... That's what they've set out to do :-)

"In every single instance that I've seen SCO installed..."

SCO sell software?

Humorix

The truth is M$ is envy of SCO's claims

"Yeah, I wish slashdot would pick up on this whole SCO thing. I cannot understand why SCO is being completely and uttely ignored here."

humorix

No, he's using VMWare.

My religion tells me it's not stealing to make copies of files. How else are we to grep for the meaning of life?

Humorix explanation

According to one source, "kernel 2.6 will address PHBs by including a 'boss key' that automatically switches the kernel to 'Fake Windows Mode'. In this mode, Linux will simulate the Windows XP-2005 environment, complete with Dancing Paperclips, bluescreens, and incessant reminders to sign up for a Microsoft Passport.

Now, geeks will be able to install Linux on their company workstations without the knowledge of their PHBs. Productivity will skyrocket, hopefully earning them a fat raise."

More details are available at http://humorix.org

I, for one, am quite excited about this, although I guess that depends on if any of you actually have a job at the moment ;-)

Either way, I'm glad to see the kernel hackers working hard to fulfill our feature requests. Here's to a great 2.6!

Cheers,
-- Eric