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"The use of your digital network to pirate music, movies, and other copyrighted works both interferes with the business purposes your network was built to serve and subjects your employees and your company to significant legal liability."

Why not just send one of these guys to deliver the letter?

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105)
   
   this is good shit man

2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Dark_Cobra87 on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180)
   
   Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
   by Fecal Troll Matter on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791)
   
   Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce...
   
   Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

4. Look (Score:-1)
   by ArchieBunker on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679)
   
   I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
   http://www.naawp.org/

5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602)
   
   Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.
   
   I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213)
   
   Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
   by perdida on on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764)
   
   Shut up you asshole.
   
   I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035)
   
   You weiner trool!

9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
    
    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
    
    CmdrTaco

11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
    
    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...
    
    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
    
    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
    
    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
      
      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
    
    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
    
    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
    
    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
    
    -Trollaxor

15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
    
    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
    
    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
    
    Excellent FP, sir.
    
    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
    
    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.12 2001/12/02 20:07:02 wipo Exp $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105)
   
   this is good shit man

2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Dark_Cobra87 on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180)
   
   Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
   by Fecal Troll Matter on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791)
   
   Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce...
   
   Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

4. Look (Score:-1)
   by ArchieBunker on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679)
   
   I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
   http://www.naawp.org/

5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602)
   
   Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.
   
   I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213)
   
   Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
   by perdida on on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764)
   
   Shut up you asshole.
   
   I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035)
   
   You weiner trool!

9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
    
    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
    
    CmdrTaco

11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
    
    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...
    
    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
    
    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
    
    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
      
      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
    
    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
    
    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
    
    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
    
    -Trollaxor

15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
    
    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
    
    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
    
    Excellent FP, sir.
    
    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
    
    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.12 2001/12/02 20:07:02 wipo Exp $

FFICIAL TACðÒ-SNO~åTTING FAQ

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105)
   
   this is good shit man

2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Dark_Cobra87 on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180)
   
   Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
   by Fecal Troll Matter on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791)
   
   Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce...
   
   Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

4. Look (Score:-1)
   by ArchieBunker on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679)
   
   I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
   http://www.naawp.org/

5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602)
   
   Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.
   
   I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213)
   
   Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
   by perdida on on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764)
   
   Shut up you asshole.
   
   I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035)
   
   You weiner trool!

9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
    
    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
    
    CmdrTaco

11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
    
    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...
    
    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
    
    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
    
    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
      
      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
    
    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
    
    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
    
    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
    
    -Trollaxor

15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
    
    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
    
    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
    
    Excellent FP, sir.
    
    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
    
    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.12 2001/12/02 20:07:02 wipo Exp $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105)
   
   this is good shit man

2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Dark_Cobra87 on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180)
   
   Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
   by Fecal Troll Matter on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791)
   
   Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce...
   
   Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

4. Look (Score:-1)
   by ArchieBunker on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679)
   
   I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
   http://www.naawp.org/

5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602)
   
   Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.
   
   I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213)
   
   Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
   by perdida on on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764)
   
   Shut up you asshole.
   
   I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035)
   
   You weiner trool!

9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
    
    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
    
    CmdrTaco

11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
    
    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...
    
    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
    
    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
    
    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
      
      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
    
    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
    
    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
    
    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
    
    -Trollaxor

15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
    
    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
    
    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
    
    Excellent FP, sir.
    
    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
    
    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.12 2001/12/02 20:07:02 wipo Exp $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105)
   
   this is good shit man

2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Dark_Cobra87 on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180)
   
   Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
   by Fecal Troll Matter on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791)
   
   Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce...
   
   Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

4. Look (Score:-1)
   by ArchieBunker on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679)
   
   I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
   http://www.naawp.org/

5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602)
   
   Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.
   
   I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213)
   
   Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
   by perdida on on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764)
   
   Shut up you asshole.
   
   I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035)
   
   You weiner trool!

9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
    
    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
    
    CmdrTaco

11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
    
    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...
    
    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
    
    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
    
    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
      
      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
    
    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
    
    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
    
    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
    
    -Trollaxor

15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
    
    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
    
    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
    
    Excellent FP, sir.
    
    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
    
    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.12 2001/12/02 20:07:02 wipo Exp $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105)
   
   this is good shit man

2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Dark_Cobra87 on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180)
   
   Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
   by Fecal Troll Matter on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791)
   
   Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce...
   
   Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

4. Look (Score:-1)
   by ArchieBunker on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679)
   
   I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
   http://www.naawp.org/

5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602)
   
   Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.
   
   I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213)
   
   Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
   by perdida on on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764)
   
   Shut up you asshole.
   
   I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035)
   
   You weiner trool!

9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
    
    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
    
    CmdrTaco

11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
    
    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...
    
    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
    
    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
    
    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
      
      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
    
    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
    
    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
    
    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
    
    -Trollaxor

15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
    
    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
    
    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
    
    Excellent FP, sir.
    
    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
    
    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.12 2001/12/02 20:07:02 wipo Exp $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105)
   
   this is good shit man

2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Dark_Cobra87 on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180)
   
   Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
   by Fecal Troll Matter on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791)
   
   Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce...
   
   Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

4. Look (Score:-1)
   by ArchieBunker on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679)
   
   I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
   http://www.naawp.org/

5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602)
   
   Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.
   
   I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213)
   
   Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
   by perdida on on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764)
   
   Shut up you asshole.
   
   I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035)
   
   You weiner trool!

9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
    
    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
    
    CmdrTaco

11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
    
    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...
    
    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
    
    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
    
    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
      
      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
    
    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
    
    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
    
    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
    
    -Trollaxor

15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
    
    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
    
    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
    
    Excellent FP, sir.
    
    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
    
    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.12 2001/12/02 20:07:02 wipo Exp $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105)
   
   this is good shit man

2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Dark_Cobra87 on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180)
   
   Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
   by Fecal Troll Matter on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791)
   
   Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce...
   
   Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

4. Look (Score:-1)
   by ArchieBunker on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679)
   
   I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
   http://www.naawp.org/

5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602)
   
   Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.
   
   I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213)
   
   Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
   by perdida on on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764)
   
   Shut up you asshole.
   
   I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035)
   
   You weiner trool!

9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
    
    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
    
    CmdrTaco

11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
    
    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...
    
    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
    
    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
    
    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
      
      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
    
    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
    
    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
    
    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
    
    -Trollaxor

15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
    
    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
    
    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
    
    Excellent FP, sir.
    
    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
    
    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.12 2001/12/02 20:07:02 wipo Exp $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105)
   
   this is good shit man

2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Dark_Cobra87 on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180)
   
   Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
   by Fecal Troll Matter on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791)
   
   Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce...
   
   Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

4. Look (Score:-1)
   by ArchieBunker on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679)
   
   I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
   http://www.naawp.org/

5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602)
   
   Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.
   
   I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213)
   
   Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
   by perdida on on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764)
   
   Shut up you asshole.
   
   I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035)
   
   You weiner trool!

9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
    
    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
    
    CmdrTaco

11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
    
    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...
    
    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
    
    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
    
    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
      
      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
    
    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
    
    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
    
    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
    
    -Trollaxor

15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
    
    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
    
    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
    
    Excellent FP, sir.
    
    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
    
    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.12 2001/12/02 20:07:02 wipo Exp $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105)
   
   this is good shit man

2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Dark_Cobra87 on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180)
   
   Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
   by Fecal Troll Matter on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791)
   
   Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce...
   
   Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

4. Look (Score:-1)
   by ArchieBunker on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679)
   
   I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
   http://www.naawp.org/

5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602)
   
   Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.
   
   I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213)
   
   Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
   by perdida on on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764)
   
   Shut up you asshole.
   
   I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035)
   
   You weiner trool!

9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
    
    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
    
    CmdrTaco

11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
    
    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...
    
    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
    
    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
    
    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
      
      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
    
    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
    
    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
    
    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
    
    -Trollaxor

15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
    
    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
    
    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
    
    Excellent FP, sir.
    
    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
    
    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.12 2001/12/02 20:07:02 wipo Exp $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105)
   
   this is good shit man

2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Dark_Cobra87 on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180)
   
   Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
   by Fecal Troll Matter on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791)
   
   Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce...
   
   Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

4. Look (Score:-1)
   by ArchieBunker on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679)
   
   I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
   http://www.naawp.org/

5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602)
   
   Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.
   
   I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213)
   
   Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
   by perdida on on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764)
   
   Shut up you asshole.
   
   I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035)
   
   You weiner trool!

9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
    
    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
    
    CmdrTaco

11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
    
    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...
    
    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
    
    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
    
    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
      
      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
    
    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
    
    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
    
    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
    
    -Trollaxor

15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
    
    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
    
    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
    
    Excellent FP, sir.
    
    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
    
    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.12 2001/12/02 20:07:02 wipo Exp $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105)
   
   this is good shit man

2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Dark_Cobra87 on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180)
   
   Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
   by Fecal Troll Matter on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791)
   
   Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce...
   
   Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

4. Look (Score:-1)
   by ArchieBunker on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679)
   
   I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
   http://www.naawp.org/

5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602)
   
   Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.
   
   I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213)
   
   Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
   by perdida on on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764)
   
   Shut up you asshole.
   
   I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035)
   
   You weiner trool!

9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
    
    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
    
    CmdrTaco

11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
    
    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...
    
    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
    
    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
    
    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
      
      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
    
    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
    
    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
    
    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
    
    -Trollaxor

15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
    
    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
    
    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
    
    Excellent FP, sir.
    
    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
    
    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.12 2001/12/02 20:07:02 wipo Exp $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105)
   
   this is good shit man

2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Dark_Cobra87 on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180)
   
   Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
   by Fecal Troll Matter on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791)
   
   Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce...
   
   Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

4. Look (Score:-1)
   by ArchieBunker on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679)
   
   I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
   http://www.naawp.org/

5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602)
   
   Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.
   
   I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213)
   
   Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
   by perdida on on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764)
   
   Shut up you asshole.
   
   I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035)
   
   You weiner trool!

9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
    
    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
    
    CmdrTaco

11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
    
    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...
    
    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
    
    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
    
    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
      
      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
    
    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
    
    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
    
    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
    
    -Trollaxor

15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
    
    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
    
    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
    
    Excellent FP, sir.
    
    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
    
    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.12 2001/12/02 20:07:02 wipo Exp $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105)
   
   this is good shit man

2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Dark_Cobra87 on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180)
   
   Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
   by Fecal Troll Matter on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791)
   
   Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce...
   
   Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

4. Look (Score:-1)
   by ArchieBunker on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679)
   
   I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
   http://www.naawp.org/

5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602)
   
   Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.
   
   I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213)
   
   Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
   by perdida on on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764)
   
   Shut up you asshole.
   
   I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035)
   
   You weiner trool!

9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
    
    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
    
    CmdrTaco

11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
    
    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...
    
    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
    
    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
    
    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
      
      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
    
    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
    
    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
    
    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
    
    -Trollaxor

15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
    
    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
    
    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
    
    Excellent FP, sir.
    
    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
    
    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux

________________________________________

• The URL of this document is http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=267426 &id=2346.
• Previous revisions are maintained at http://slashdot.org/journal.pl? op=display &uid=308209.

$Id: tacosnotting.html,v 1.12 2001/12/02 20:07:02 wipo Exp $

Why have I been receiving emails from CmdrTaco, in which he seems to be speaking in some kind of code language?

Whenever Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda gets bored (and who wouldn't, running a site like Slashdot all day), he roams through the Slashdot database, penis in hand, looking for people who might enjoy engaging in homosexual orgies with him. How he determines this is anyone's guess; but if you have a homosexual-sounding nickname, or a nick with the letter P in it, you're in trouble.

So this time, he found you. Lucky you.

CmdrTaco's code language is relatively easy to decipher. He prefers to speak in thinly-veiled sexual innuendo to evade the watchful (but relatively stupid) eye of Slashdot's parent corporation, VA Software. CmdrTaco's "Commander" is, of course, his penis -- a small, withered little thing that lives in his pants that only comes out in the presence of other men or at the beck and call of CmdrTaco's own right hand. His "Taco bells" are the shriveled testes that droop beneath his Commander, and his "Taco sauce" is his, well, jizz. It should be more than obvious to you now what he means when he asks you to "ring his Taco bells" or "taste his gourmet Taco sauce."

Lastly, there is a practice he refers to as "Taco-snotting" and the more shocking "circle-snot."

Good Lord. What is "Taco-snotting?"

"Taco-snotting" is the term used by CmdrTaco to refer to the practice of sucking the penis of a homosexual man (or unwilling heterosexual; CmdrTaco is rumored to prefer rape), then blowing the semen out his nose onto his partner's (victim's) face and body. A long, bubbly stream of milky-white semen is left on CmdrTaco's face, dribbling out of his nose and down his cheek: hence the term, "Taco-snotting."

A "circle-snot" is a Taco-snotting circle-jerk, another practice common among the Slashdot crew. CmdrTaco, CowboiKneel, and Homos get together and Taco-snot each other with their gooey, sticky cum -- spooging their jizz-snot all over each other's faces and pasty, white bodies, until they're covered head to toe with each other's man juice. This can go on for hours. For the homosexual penetration that follows this lengthy foreplay, Roblowme is usually there to provide plenty of anal lubricant; he owns a limo service and has ample supplies of motor oil and axle grease ready to go.

To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie will usually join in, dressed in tight leather mock-S.S. uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves. The whole group then proceeds to snot each other's spunk and whip each other's pudgy asses with riding crops and chains until their pale, white geek bodies are exhausted and soaked in stinking sweat from the hours of passionate, homosexual revelry.

Ewwwwww. So, can I stop receiving these emails?

Hopefully.

You most likely forgot to uncheck the "Willing to Taco-snot" checkbox in your account preferences. CmdrTaco has probably already got the hots for your wad, and he's probably already been lurking outside your bathroom window for weeks with a camera, some tissues and lube. There's no escaping a geek in heat, so it's probably too late for you, but you can possibly rectify this situation. To remove yourself from CmdrTaco's sights, log into your Slashdot account, go to your user page, click on Messages, and uncheck the box next to "Willing to Taco-snot." Maybe he'll ignore you. Probably not.

I can't stop receiving these emails from CmdrTaco!?

If you indulge him in a Taco-snot or two, he might leave you alone. You might also want to look into mail filtering, restraining orders, or purchasing a heavy, blunt object capable of warding off rampaging homosexual geeks in heat. Trust me, when they charge... oh, the humanity. If he gets you, and you let him Taco-snot you, you will most likely end up tied up in his basement to be used as his sex slave for the rest of your life (or until he accidentally drowns you in spunk in a circle-snot).

Have you ever been Taco-Snotted?

Unfortunately, yes. I first met CmdrTaco at an Open Source Convention. He invited me back to his room for a game of Quake and some "gourmet Tacos," but when I got there, he jumped me and tied me to his bed, stripping me. After taking his "Commander" out of his pants, Mr. Taco made me suck the withered thing six times. He then performed his vile Taco-snotting ritual on me three times over the next two hours, bringing me to orgasm after sweaty, mind-numbing orgasm... then he snotted my own milky-white jizz back onto my face, into my mouth, then again on my exposed belly.

CmdrTaco invited several of his Open Source (or rather, "Open Sauce" -- man sauce) buddies over to continue the twisted snotfest. Linux Torvalds raped my ass with his "monolithic kernel," and Anal Cox used his "network stack" in a multitude of unspeakable ways on and in every orifice in my defenseless body. Michael was there in his leather Nazi uniform, caning my ass with a bamboo pole and ranting about "all those Censorware freaks out to get him."

How did you finally escape, you ask? After about 16 hours of countless homosexual atrocities perpetrated against my restrained body, they all finally went to sleep on top of me, sweat-soaked and exhausted. I was left there, covered in bubbly, translucent jizz-snot, chained to the bed, with half a dozen fat, pasty-white fags lying around and on top of me. Fortunately the spooge coating my flesh worked wonderfully as a lubricant; I was able to squirm my way out of the handcuffs and slip out the back door. I'm just glad I survived the ordeal. These geeks had a lot of built-up spunk in their wads -- I could've easily been drowned!

That's horrible. Does "Taco-snotting" have anything to do with CmdrTaco's "special taco"?

No, that's a different disgusting perversion CmdrTaco indulges himself in. CmdrTaco is usually not satisfied with merely snotting your own jizz back onto your face, he most often enjoys involving his own bodily fluids in his twisted games. WeatherTroll has spent some time trying to educate the Slashdot readership about this vile practice (emphasis added):

You may be wondering what CmdrTaco's "special taco" is. You will be wishing that you hadn't been wondering after you finish reading this post. To make his "special taco", CmdrTaco takes a taco shell and shits on it. He then adds lettuce, jacks off on the taco, and adds a compound to make the person who eats the taco unconscious. Of course, the compound does not make the person unconscious until the taco is fully eaten. Thus CmdrTaco force-feeds the taco to the unsuspecting victim.

After the victim is unconscious, he is held against his will and used for CmdrTaco's nefarious sexual purposes. This includes shoving taco shells up the victim's ass, Taco-snotting, and getting Jon Katz involved.

Completely different, yet no less revolting. It should be clear to you now that CmdrTaco is a very, very sick individual, as are most of the Slashdot editors.

Does Jon Katz get involved in any of this? I thought he was a paedophile, not a homosexual.

Actually, Jon Katz is a homosexual paedophile. He's also a coprophiliac, and, many suspect, a zoophile. Jon Katz is somewhat of a loner and doesn't involve himself in circle-snots. Mr. Katz usually engages in a game called " Katz juicy-douching" with his harem of little-boy slaves: a vile practice which involves administering an enema to himself of the little boy's urine (forced out of them with a pair of pliers), spooging the vile muck from his ass back into the enema bag, then squirting and slathering the goo all over himself, and the little boy's chained-up and naked bodies. If he's in the mood, he will sometimes skip refilling the enema bag and just squirt it from his ass onto his boys. Unwilling boys are further tortured with the pliers until they comply and allow Mr. Katz to juicy-douche them for the rest of their lives.

As I already said, Mr. Katz is also a zoophile. As if the sexual escapades with the helpless little boys aren't enough, Jon usually enjoys his juicy-douches best when his penis is firmly planted in a female goat's anus. He is also rumoured to get off on watching his little boys eat the goat's small, bean-like turds.

...Are you getting hard writing this?

Why, yes. :) Join me in a WIPO-snot?

No, thanks. I'm already CmdrTaco's boi toi.

________________________________________
READER COMMENTS

1. Fucking hilarious too bad it didnt get a 5:Funny (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.02 19:01 (#2644105)
   
   this is good shit man

2. Re:Taco-snotting@Home! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
   by Dark_Cobra87 on 2001.12.01 23:03 (#2642180)
   
   Oops, forgot to check that Taco-snot option...

3. Re:Fuck Linux! Fuck him hard! (Score:-1)
   by Fecal Troll Matter on 2001.12.01 20:55 (#2641791)
   
   Mmmmmmm, Taco Sauce...
   
   Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)

4. Look (Score:-1)
   by ArchieBunker on 2001.12.01 20:19 (#2641679)
   
   I love trolling but this shit is getting old, fast. At least start mixing them up a little bit. How about the 'How OSM was Freed' series?
   http://www.naawp.org/

5. Re:Congratulations! You have been WIPO'd!! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.12.01 8:37 (#2640602)
   
   Stop posting this! I've got hangover and Taco Snotting doesn't make me feel any better.
   
   I'm really glad that Taco Snotting is illegal here in Europe.

6. Re:Snot me baby, one more time! (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.30 1:01 (#2634213)
   
   Get a life you loser! Don't you have anything better to do than insult CmdrTaco and the gay community? We are not perverts, we are human beings just like you. So give it a rest!

7. Re:Hello, perdida!!! Won't you snot my face tonigh (Score:-1)
   by perdida on on 2001.11.27 14:13 (#2618764)
   
   Shut up you asshole.
   
   I am not great, I am merely adequate. I live in adequacy.

8. Go back to Russia. (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.26 22:22 (#2616035)
   
   You weiner trool!

9. Re:The Taco-Snotting FAQ Rides Again!! (Updated so (Score:0)
   by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.25 9:14 (#2609574)
   
   try to find a pic of actual "taco-snotting"! fucking funny it would be! so go to gay porn sites day in and day out until you find a man giving another man a blowjob that has jizz coming out of his nose and mouth. by the way, keep up the good work

10. Re:Snotting another first!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 12:18 (#2603370)
    
    WIPO, this is getting waaaay old, either drop it or revise it.... there've been no updates for days now...
    
    CmdrTaco

11. Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.22 17:28 (#2600815)
    
    A truly excellent and very humourous troll indeed!
    However...
    
    To complete this perverted orgy, fellow geeks Michael, Timothy, and Jamie often join in, dressed in black Gestapo uniforms, jack boots, and leather gloves.
    
    Black GeStaPo uniforms? The GeStaPo (Geheime Staatspolizei - Secret State Police) wore civilian clothes (although there are reports on them occasionally using Allgemeine SS uniforms in occupied territories).
    
    I seriously doubt that perverted individuals like CmdrTaco et al would have the good taste to ever wear the outstandingly beautiful black Waffen SS uniforms! Please update the FAQ accordingly.
    • Re:It's Taco SPAM!!! (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.23 4:06 (#2602610)
      
      Actually, it appears you are both wrong!! Ah ha!! I think our boy WIPO was thinking of the Allgemeine SS uniforms. Waffen SS were grey.

12. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:49 (#2594325)
    
    oh yeah, you say you have masturbated only 2 times to this post. well, by the time it takes for me to get through reading it, i usually end up masturbated 5 to 6 times, 10 to 12 if i have the goatse.cx homepage loaded up and am looking at it side by side with the slashdot page. my keyboard, hands, mouse, monitor, the underside of my desk and around the floor under my desk are cum soaked and sticky with the man smell i know and love.

13. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.21 4:41 (#2594311)
    
    for version 2 you should make a total re-write of the cod...errr...text and add some details about cmdrtaco and the homo-gang's happenings with their coworkers (osdn?) and all of the gay revelry they enjoy and promote. by the way, did i just see cmdrtaco on television promoting the nax hair removal system? i guess after using vaseline in and around his ass he grew quite a ponytail and it had to be removed somehow...ouch!

14. Re:Microsoft's Taco-Snotting Connection (Score:-1, Troll)
    by TRoLLaXoR on 2001.11.21 3:59 (#2594191)
    
    WIPO, do you notice how few comments you get for anything you write/post/spam nowadays?
    
    -Trollaxor

15. Jon-Katz docking (Score:-1)
    by sales_worldwide on 2001.11.20 11:53 (#2588488)
    
    You forgot to mention Jon Katz's "docking" games, where he places his chopper head to head with another chap, and rolls the other guys foreskin over his own circumcised end ("docking"), providing him with fantasies of actually having his own forskin ...
    "Making linux GPL was the best thing I ever did" - Torvalds. I'd hate to see the worst thing...

16. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1)
    by Fucky the troll on 2001.11.20 11:28 (#2588446)
    
    Woah! When did the WIPO troll get freed? And how the fuck did I miss it?
    
    Excellent FP, sir.
    
    This is a sig virus. Please put me in your sig

17. Re:Snotting a first! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.20 11:04 (#2588407)
    
    omg that is crapflooding material if i ever saw it!!!!!! and u got a first post!!!! whoot to the wipo troll!!!

18. GW, please.... (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 9:03 (#2583756)
    
    GW...you know we love every hair on your 27 acre ass... and I, for one, would never do anything untowards your graceful demeanor. And you probably have several friends that would love to help you do the bear dance all over my face if I so much as spelled your name wrong. And you know I'd defend your Constitutional right to defame God in heaven. I'd even help fund your education, should you ever decide to take that route. Hell, I'd buy you a tall tepid bear-whiz beer if you were here with me, right now!
    
    But. ...if you can't find another topic, I'm gonna step over your dead mother's grave and kick your assuredly anesthetitized butt clear across the playground.
    
    Now go stick your shaved head back down inside the woman's toilet, and just to show there's no hard feelings, I'll jump in the tow-truck and drive right over to help you pull it right out...ok?
    
    thanks

19. Re:Help me Taco-Snotters!! (Score:-1)
    by mark knopfler 69 on 2001.11.19 8:25 (#2583695)
    
    I DO NOT BELIEVE YOU SIR. FOR ONE THING, THE E-MAIL FROM CMDRTACO DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH GRAMMATICAL AND SPELLING MISTAKES. Let's be realistic here, CmdrTaco usually types with one hand, and since he is shaking from jacking off his aim on the keyboard isn't too good. Those e-mails were a little too well written. Sorry boy, you'll have to do better.

20. Re: What the hell is "taco snotting"? (Score:-1)
    by WeatherTroll on 2001.11.19 8:14 (#2583667)
    
    You should update this to say VA Software instead of VA Linux.

21. YOU ARE WINNER (Score:1)
    by smackmonkey on 2001.11.19 7:06 (#2583510)
    
    Crackhead moderators: this is +5, Hilarious material.
    
    --
    CNN declares War on Islam!
    Left-wing America declares War on its Civil Liberties!

22. Re:On Taco-Snotting 1.9 (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.19 5:40 (#2583336)
    
    This was funny the first 100 times. Now it is getting boring!

23. Digusting and Shameful (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.18 22:27 (#2582054)
    
    Having masturbated *twice* to this post, I'm still incredibly aroused! Come over for a Taco Snot. I'll be wearing my crotchless Clifford the Big Red Dog outfit!!
    
    For more info check out this /. article

24. IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:03 (#2580822)
    
    add more links to goatse and to cowboineal's site to make it better. a link to rotten.com would be nice too
    • Re:IMPROVE THE FAQ (Score:0)
      by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.18 12:18 (#2580832)
      
      and a link to michael's site and to jon katz's site if he has one and homo's site. i dont know what else to say. maybe a few links to phallic.org they have nice penis pictures! a link to the planet quake site or whatever. really make the reader feel this faq really answers their questions. oh yeah, and when you talk about cmdrtaco snotting you, say he brought you to "orgasm after sweaty orgasm". describe it more is all i'm saying. and use more italics and bolding! and when you talk about jon katz shitting or whatever have a link to fecal japan on rotten.com
      
      other wise a great job wipo troll! keep up the good work!

25. Re:CmdrTaco's filthy secret! (Score:-1)
    by Wil Wheaton on 2001.11.18 6:41 (#2580438)
    
    Hi. Let's be buddies.. butt buddies.
    --
    WIL WHEATON DOT NET

26. WIPO speaks the truth (Score:-1)
    by dead_puppy on 2001.11.18 5:33 (#2580342)
    
    Here is an e-mail I received a week ago:
    
    From: malda@slashdot.org
    To: puppy_dead@hotmail.com
    Subject: were where you last friday? :(
    
    I thought we where supposed to meet at Backdoor's at 8-ish, sugar-lips? You could've at least told me that you could'nt make it! I was even in my favorite pink skirt for you, honey-cup... next time, you could be more considarite and tell me you cant come... bastard.
    
    --
    CmdrTaco (malda@slashdot.org)
    
    You finding Ling-Ling's head?

27. Taco snotting is WRONG!!! (Score:-1)
    by Big_Ass_Spork on 2001.11.18 4:53 (#2580300)
    
    I do it wrong
    
    Laying here in the shadows of my room, I squint up at my love. My Ms. Portman. I am sore and tired after fucking her for eight solid hours. My chapped and aching dick is soaking in grits to relieve the pain. She gets on her knees and starts lapping the grits up out of the bowl. She places her beautiful hands on my penis and starts to lick the grits off my achy piece.
    
    Massaging my nutsack she....
    
    WAIT, I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    Yanking my dick out of her mouth I throw her to the ground and shove it in to her gaping freshly fisted ass. [goatse.cx]
    
    "OH BIG ASS SPORK!! Fuck my ass, fuck my ass good. DEEPER, my stallion, deeper!! Make a Beowulf cluster of sperm on my back!!"
    
    "Imagine a Beowulf cluster of this baby!"
    
    I DO IT WRONG!!!!
    
    ---
    All your Sporks are belong to Big_Ass_Spork! What you say?! All your Sporks are belo... forget it...

28. Rob Malda Dead at age 25! (Score:-1)
    by j0nkatz on 2001.11.17 22:54 (#2579596)
    
    I just heard some sad news on the radio -- famous queerbait Rob Malda was found dead in his Holland home this morning. The details were a bit hazy, but it seems that he drowned in jizz while Taco Snotting his friend Hemos. I'm sure everyone in the /. community will miss him -- even if you didn't enjoy his queer antics and boring ass website, there's no denying his contributions to the homosesual cultural development, particularly in the areas of Taco snotting. Truly an American icon.
    
    I wanna Open Source sex so it won't be worth a shit either.

29. TACO-SNOTTING is really Donkey-Punching (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.15 6:38 (#2567601)
    
    No no no, the correct term for that is "donkey-punch". I have eye-witnessed this amazing eye-popping event demonstrated on unsuspecting hose-monsters by my frat brothers in the past.. . :-)

30. Re:the effect of knowlege laws... (Score:1)
    by AbsoluteRelativity on 2001.11.15 5:31 (#2567457)
    
    The WIPO Troll
    Slashdot and the Karma Lottery - News for uber monkeys, by uber monkeys.

31. Re:Taco-Snotting (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:27 (#2557632)
    
    Oh, man that's just sick !

32. HOW DO I GET AN ANONYMOUS PROXY? (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.13 9:03 (#2557604)
    
    TELL ME WHERE I CAN GET AN ANONYMOUS proxy please WIPO Troll. Maybe later i will join you in a snotting at my place. ;P

33. Re:Taco-Snottage!?!?!? (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by vikool on 2001.11.13 7:43 (#2557495)
    
    what is this bull shit,i feel offened that some people feel so so senseless to post stuff like these esp when such a tragic incident has occured

34. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1)
    by I.T.R.A.R.K. on 2001.11.11 22:38 (#2551890)
    
    Where the fuck do I sign up?!
    
    - I throw rocks at retarded kids
    
    "Adequacy.org: Where congenital stupidity is not an option, but a requirement."

35. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Troll)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 21:53 (#2551753)
    
    this shit is hilarious..keep up the good work.

36. Re:Taco-felching!! (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by rockwood on 2001.11.11 21:49 (#2551746)
    
    OMG! That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! WHo in their right mind would sit down and waste the time to construct such a replusive story. I guess I'll be skipping lunch and dinner today.. and possibly tomorrow also. The game doesn't affect reality. Reality affects the game.

37. Re:Ban this! It's disgusting!! (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 14:43 (#2550701)
    
    dude, this is crap-flood material if i ever saw it.
    duuuuuuuuudddddddddddddeeeeeeeee.

38. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Flamebait)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 8:16 (#2550266)
    
    horny_rob_6969@hotmail.com
    
    Ah, so that's what the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.horny-rob newsgroup is about!

39. MOD THIS UP PLEASE!!! (Score:-1)
    by egg troll on 2001.11.11 5:34 (#2550024)
    
    +5, Arousing
    
    For more info check out this /. article

40. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:39 (#2549891)
    
    WINNER>

41. Re:Taco-Snotting = HATE SPEECH (Score:-1, Offtopic)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.11 4:37 (#2549887)
    
    I love you. Why do you use your bitchslapped account, rather than signing up for a new account to post at +1 before getting bitchslapped by the censors here? I guess I should speak for myself, but I don't want to log out and lose all my slashdot customization properties, nor do I want to lose my 50 karma yet.

42. Re:On Taco-Snotting (Score:0)
    by Anonymous Coward on 2001.11.09 9:19 (#2542412)
    
    you fucking rock! right down to the expanded cvs id!
    
    WIPO trolls > linux