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That wasn't by Cleese either, but you'll find this to be more relevant.

Snopes.

John Cleese did not write this. It is an urban myth.

You can tell, because it is not funny.

And right according to Snopes- he didn't:

http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/revocation.a sp

A lightbulb that doesn't burn out... Got one
http://www.snopes.com/science/lightbulb.asp

Right... but the origin of the quote is typically said to come from some an employee of a major video came manufacturer (I've seen Nintendo, most often) and said to have originated in the early to mid-80s. I would be willing to bet it originated from Joe Gamer in the mid-90s at best.

I just submitted it to snopes.com maybe somebody there can find the origin.

My favourite complaint letter is this one.

Don't get me started on PETA. They have their hearts in the right places, but no head on top of their shoulders. A couple of examples:

Hmm... PETA putting blaze orange vests on deer so the hunters would think they are hunters, but then the hunters seeing them and shotting most of those deer. Link here. Oops, apparantly that one is a hoax.

Well, there's freeing of lab animals from labs and releasing them into the wild, where they are eaten by predators and spread diseases. Although I can't find a specific link that. Maybe that's a rumor as well.

And then there's painting attractive girls like animals and having them sit in cages in busy urban areas, wearing nothing but body paint.

Well, I guess I really don't have a specific problem with PETA except misleading the public and overexagerating the health risks of eating meat (no worse than any other advertising, in my opinion.)

Never mind.

As a frog can't regulate its own temperature it will always try to move to an environment at a suitable temperature, so it will notice the heating, no matter how slow it is (see Snopes). In contrast, a significant number of people have been killed by sitting in hot tubs and spas at high temperatures for too long:

"There have been several deaths from extremely hot water (over 110F) in a spa. High temperatures can cause drowsiness, which may lead to unconsciousness, resulting in drowning. Raised body temperature can also lead to heat stroke and death."(From here)

Here is what Snopes has to say about this, take it for you will.

I did a search for this accident and found many articles relating to Hitoshi Nikaidoh. Apparently, there are 30 deaths and 17,100 injuries each year.

There is a detailed explanation at snopes.com. The exact cause was a miswired controller stud which bypassed the safety features.

Other hospital accidents have been caused by the elevator cabs falling by several feet while a gurney was being pushed in or out.

According to an elevator expert, most of these accidents are caused by infrequent maintenance.

From now on, I'll take the stairs.

Its amazing what somebody saw in something no one else saw a use for.

the saying 'someone's junk is another's treasure' comes to mind.

http://www.snopes.com/business/origins/post-it.asp

we get nonsense like state legislatures introducing bills to make pi equal to 3

...because I like to be the jerk who ruins jokes with a Snopes reference.

....During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country's economic growth and environmental protection, improvements in our educational system.

Just follow http://www.snopes.com/quotes/internet.asp and read more about it.

Al Gore quote: During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.

Snope Statement: "many of the components of today's Internet came into being well before Gore's first term in Congress began in 1977, and it's hard to find any specific action of Gore's (such as his sponsoring a Congressional bill or championing a particular piece of legislation) that one could claim helped bring the Internet into being, much less validate Gore's statement of having taken the "initiative in creating the Internet."

"Even if Al Gore had never entered the political arena, we'd probably still be reading web pages via the Internet today."

Al Gore quote: During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.

Snope Statement: "many of the components of today's Internet came into being well before Gore's first term in Congress began in 1977, and it's hard to find any specific action of Gore's (such as his sponsoring a Congressional bill or championing a particular piece of legislation) that one could claim helped bring the Internet into being, much less validate Gore's statement of having taken the "initiative in creating the Internet."

"Even if Al Gore had never entered the political arena, we'd probably still be reading web pages via the Internet today."

Al Gore quote: During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.

Snope Statement: "many of the components of today's Internet came into being well before Gore's first term in Congress began in 1977, and it's hard to find any specific action of Gore's (such as his sponsoring a Congressional bill or championing a particular piece of legislation) that one could claim helped bring the Internet into being, much less validate Gore's statement of having taken the "initiative in creating the Internet."

"Even if Al Gore had never entered the political arena, we'd probably still be reading web pages via the Internet today."

http://www.snopes.com/quotes/internet.htm Snopes states:

Al Gore quote: During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.

Snope Statement: "many of the components of today's Internet came into being well before Gore's first term in Congress began in 1977, and it's hard to find any specific action of Gore's (such as his sponsoring a Congressional bill or championing a particular piece of legislation) that one could claim helped bring the Internet into being, much less validate Gore's statement of having taken the "initiative in creating the Internet."

"Even if Al Gore had never entered the political arena, we'd probably still be reading web pages via the Internet today."

No, Al Gore did not misspeak, nor did he ever say he invented the Internet. Here's the quote, courtesy of Snopes:

During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country's economic growth and environmental protection, improvements in our educational system.

Yes, yes, he wasn't there for the crafting of RFC 1, but the crux of what he's saying is true: he was one of the key players in Congress when it came to promoting and creating the Internet we know and use today.

That this balls-out lie about what Al Gore said still manages to exist today is demonstrative of just how little truth matters in American politics. Rather than set the record straight, there's a very sizeable chunk of powerful people who would rather perpetuate an obvious and easily debunked lie for the sake of hurting their opponent. Frankly, the Republicans engage in this kind of chicanery to a far greater extent than the Democrats do--which is a large part of why I'm not a Republican. There are plenty of self-aggrandizing, self-serving Democrats out there, but on balance, they're more oriented to reason and honesty than the Republicans are these days.

EnronHaliburton2004:

I think you have misread Cuzality. Even though Cuzality cites Snopes properly, he runs his own comments together onto the end of the Snopes quote. This makes Snopes seem biased.

Snopes quote:
"...it's hard to find any specific action of Gore's (such as his sponsoring a Congressional bill or championing a particular piece of legislation) that one could claim helped bring the Internet into being, much less validate Gore's statement of having taken the "initiative in creating the Internet.""

Cuzality's quote:
But don't let that bother you -- after all, the entire premise of the Clinton administration was they wanted to be judged on how much they cared about people's problems, not what they could accomplish towards solving them. Gore undoubtedly gave many fine speeches talking about how important technology is (I just wish we could find a record of them), therefore he should get the credit for the Internet -- simple as that!

Try to be careful before judging Snopes by Cuzality's prejudice. There is nothing particular partisan about the Snopes entry. In fact, Snopes presents a balanced view of the debate.

Cuzality pulls one statement from Snopes and appends his own ideas after the end of the quote.

what if you dont ? :]

During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.

And here is the Snopes.com page to refute it all...

Luckily Microsoft has never had that problem! (The recently surfaced pics of Bill posing on his desk are proof of negative coolness.)

To preempt the urban legend about the reason why the lack of a mathematicss nobel prize, see The Prize's Rite

We aren't keeping the formula of coke.

You mean all that innovation that comes from 1-Click software patents, the Happy Birthday song, Winnie the Pooh, etc.

If you look at the Constitution, copyright covers: "[o]nly the writings and discoveries of authors and inventors...and then only to the end of promoting science and the useful arts."

Original ideas should not become commodities that are transferred to purchasers and assignees - which is the problem with all the examples above.

At another point, so was German.

No it wasn't.

I should have clarified.

The point was that things are pointed out in the Bible that are before their time and we now know them to be true. Not that BECAUSE they're in the Bible they're true (that is just a stupid argument to make to a non-believer).

so we can disseminate info like this

Look at the name: Viralg Oy. Or, Viral Goy? Virtual algorithms? Things that smell like this usually send me running to snopes.

Not so much. See here

No. I am kidding. There was a rumour when the film came out. In a "making of" feature, Zemeckis came out with a joke that they do really exist. Lots of kids took it seriously.

Heh.

That someone modded you funny for this shows that people are rather ignorant of what goes on in this country.

I say lets bake the fuckers. Lets set up tents in the hot Arizona sun, lets put up tents, lets make the inmates wear pink uniforms, and lets feed them hotdogs made with green dye. Lets stick black gang members with white supremasists in the same tent.

When I see people propose stuff like this, I'm just so glad that we have DNA testing that works every time and we have District Attorneys in charge that are always quick to make sure justice is served.

At least our country still has a few good citizens that still care and want to keep our justice system honest.

When you suggest torturing inmates remember that in a year it could be you standing there in those tents. It may be "good enough for our troops in Iraq", but every single person there made the choice to join the army.

Can you say the same for our justice system?

... perhaps more fairly labelled as "True, but for trivial and unremarkable reasons." Marvelling that the width of modern roadways is similar to the width of ancient roadways is sort of like getting excited over a notion such as "modern clothes sizes are based upon standards developed by medieval tailors.

IMHO, this is an excellent example of a de facto standard. Nobody seems to know if the Romans (or Babylonians or Egyptians?) officially adopted a standard, however one can argue that the width of wagons, chariots, gates, roads, streets and even the size of horses must have influenced each other, generating at the systems level a commonality of compatible "standards" - de facto.

I haven't found a citation with regard to what Lincoln wanted to do, so I leave that for another time.

This page at the US Army Transportation Museum is an interesting short history of the impact of railroads on the Civil War. It cites the same de facto history toward the end of the article. It is possible that the Army is wrong about this - this story was very popular amongst the DoD staffers, according to Puffert (see below.)

It is certain that this was a major national issue regarding the construction of the "Pacific Railroad". The first Pacific Railroad Act was passed in 1862. Section 12 specifies that "The track, upon the entire line of railroad and branches shall be of uniform width, to be determined by the President of the United States, ...". So indeed, Lincoln had the authority to establish the gauge.

The FAQ notes that Central Pacific asked Lincoln to establish the gauge at five feet. This was because, "The railroads already existing in California with which the CPRR might likely connect were laid with a 5' 0" track gauge." This transcription of a telegram to Lincoln requesting the 5'0" gauge cites a separate communication from "eminent engineers" in favor of the 5'0" gauge, while this image is of a similar telegram objecting to the 5'0" gauge.

The 1863 Amendment establishes the gauge at 4' 8.5". However the history is not cited in the act. (My own speculation - a factor not specifically mentioned is that the Confederacy used a 5'0" gauge. If the Union began using a 5'0" gauge, then the Confederacy could conceivably use Union track to their benefit. This could have tipped some military minds in the decision. But I don't know the military's position on this topic.)

On the other hand, according to this 1996 analysis by researcher Douglas Puffert, the groove ruts that supposedly drove the whole thing don't seem to always be the same width, but nobody's done the research. Puffert notes that the early US railroad engineers copied the gauge of the Liverpool & Manchester railroad, which was based on the 4'8" track width commonly used in the mines - but 1/2" wider to allow for more wheel play. (There's more here, read if you're interested.)

From my own limited - but not trivial - experience around horses and buggies etc., I am comfortable with the idea that

Of course, if the Left Coast crazies get their way, eventually anything and everything will be the responsibility of the legislature and law enforcement to handle. Right now, this is funny: Dispatcher: Ma'am, we're not gonna go down there and enforce your Western Bacon Cheeseburger. (Also hit the audio link.) Twenty years from now it might not be.

Of course, if the Left Coast crazies get their way, eventually anything and everything will be the responsibility of the legislature and law enforcement to handle. Right now, this is funny: Dispatcher: Ma'am, we're not gonna go down there and enforce your Western Bacon Cheeseburger. (Also hit the audio link.) Twenty years from now it might not be.

As Mark Twain once said, "There are lies, damn lies, and statistics."

This quote actually belongs to Benjamin Disraeli

False.

Great Britain and Australia have seen their violent crime rates soar since revoking the right of ordinary citizens to own guns.

No, we haven't. (Not in Australia, at least.)

legislators have been accepting papers without review for years.

According to Snopes, it was the 40th attempt to make something to Displace Water.

Cryptic product names involving numbers are often explained away as having been inspired by the Nth attempt at formulating a product (or its name). Hence legend has it that the manufacturer of Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda, after the first six tries at selecting a less cumbersome name proved unsatisfactory, finally threw in the towel and opted for the simple choice of "7-Up" instead. And if a cleaner is called "Formula 409," surely that must be because the first 408 formulas didn't work out. [Makes you wonder about the poor people who had to test Preparations A through G.]

WD-40 literally stands for Water Displacement, 40th attempt. That's the name straight out of the lab book used by the chemist who developed WD-40 back in 1953. The chemist, Norm Larsen, was attempting to concoct a formula to prevent corrosion -- a task which is done by displacing water. Norm's persistence paid off when he perfected the formula on his 40th try.

Eh? I work at k-mart and there's plenty of clocks everywhere.

Did you get the whole oxygen thing from the casino/urban legend?

While you may be using only ten percent of Google, you're certainly using more than ten percent of your own brain.... That (only using ten percent of our brains) is an urban myth.

Well, no. And it had nothing to do with dropping the word "Fried", either, which I had thought was true.

The snopes articles says the real reason behind the shift to KFC had nothing to do with healthy food or finicky consumers: it was about money -- money that Kentucky Fried Chicken would have had to pay to continue using their original name.

zappa? shit? stage?

As someone else noted, the Russians made it further.

Down here there is not. All US coins are legally tender and can be used to repay all debts, public and private, in any combination.

Extremely rare? As of 1999 there were over a billion dollars worth of $2 bills in circulation worldwide. http://www.snopes.com/business/money/twodollar.asp , I'd harldy consider that rare, as well as the fact that you can ask for them at a bank. Even silver coinage isn't rare, I usually get at least one per week. I'd consider rare something like this: http://coins.to/ccdollars.html