Slashdot Mirror

Hmm. I'm currently working as a data mining analysis for an internet advertising startup. The job has it's moments, like figuring out that credit cards should be sold to women when they make online purchases for makeup(no I am not kidding). However it would be much more exciting to work for a rich and powerful drug cartel... Does the job come with your own personal E15k?

Drop the vendor: they obviously haven't got a clue what they're talking about.

1) They should read their vendors' EULA's (and probably their own). No software these days is supported. ("This software is provided "AS IS"...).

2) Lots of free software is very much industry proven.

Perhaps you could try a little education.

And has docs on it. Use things like sendmail and bind (DNS) as examples of opensource in practice. Also, show them the prices for a commercial SSH implementation on a large scale. Very little beats the bottom line of free, as in beer/books.

Solaris 9 does use OpenSSH for its "Solaris Secure Shell". They mention it on this page.

Just a few things you said aren't exactly true, however, I made the same mistakes myself a few months ago.

The 54 megabyte version is the SDK comes with all the stuff to write your own eclipse plugin. The 20MB version labeled "Executable Binary" is sufficient for anyone who wants to use eclipse. After I found this and banged my head into the wall for not reading the page, I was happier with Eclipse.

The speed is less in SWT as you would think. Swing really isn't that slow. SWT is faster than swing, but not by the leaps and bounds that Eclipse is faster than NetBeans or jEdit. The deal is Eclipse doesn't come with 30 plugins. NetBeans has more plugins (and loads everyone at startup) than any project on Earth will ever use. From FTP support to J2EE server integration. It's a tremendous pain. jEdit lets you configure the plugins that you want. I love jEdit's XML editing (about par with Emacs). Someone should write in XML editing support for Eclipse. Thats my biggest beef with Eclipse.

I thought SWT was cool and I was going to do my current project in SWT. My mind was changed by the potential of Swing. LNF (look and feel) configuration is awesome! I wrote a little class to allow the look and feel to be configured by system properties (which I always load from a configuration file). So, by changing a few entries in a (uncannily similar to samba .. property = value) configuration file, you can make the program look and feel different. In the end, there will be a configuration program to allow the user to test all the LNF's. I envision that this small amount of effort on my part will let the user choose an interface that is a little more comfortable for them. In the very least, they will have a more asthetically pleasing resource, and that means a lot to end users. (Think about the time you spend customizing and picking themes for your Linux desktop!)

Anyhow, in the end, I heard that the benchmarks showed that there really wasn't as big of a difference in speed as there was made out to be.

Want to simulate SWT in Swing?
Type this in main()
UIManager.setLookAndFeel(UIManager.getSystemLookAn dFeelClassName());
but it will look like motif and not gtk under linux.

Good links!!!
javootoo.com links to just about every LNF.
a screenshot on javootoo of SkinLF with aquathemepack my favorite!
audiolaf may allow blind users to use your current app without a rewrite!
Some conversation search for SWT to see I'm not the only crackpot that thinks SWT isn't that much faster (anymore).

Keep in mind that it really doesn't matter if the controls are drawn by Java or the OS, they still have to be drawn and Java2 1.4 isn't stupid such that it doesn't user the available hardware acceleration routines available from the OS. Theoretically, it doesn't matter who draws them if they are both drawn the same way :).

Yeah, I know it's just a big list of links...

Apache and FW Performance Tips
Apache.org Performance Tuning
Apache Tuning Tips
Apache Tuning Directives
Tuning Your Apache Server
TUNING.txt
PHP-DEV: Database Connection Problems
PHP Everywhere: Tuning Apache and PHP for Speed
Tuning Apache Web Servers for Speed

and last, but not least, my favorite:

Web Server Tuning

I'd also recommend reading up on tuning the linux kernel.

-techwolf

Good question. Really good question.

I had a hard time today myself locating the Java plugin for Mozilla/Win just to see this game. After a really long time searching for it on java.sun.com I finally gave up and clicked the "download plugin here" icon that Mozilla gave me. This JVM works for Windows, although I'd liked it more to have it downloaded by hand.

Yes, this is Off-Topic, I know. :-) But this was the first time for weeks I really wanted Java to see something on the 'net. Mod me down if you like. One man, one $VOTE. ;-)

Sun Blade 100 Workstation

Posting anonymously to avoid accusations of karma-whoring, despite the fact that I'm at the cap.

Writing software is not difficult. Writing high-quality software _is_ difficult and requires experienced craftsmen (infer journalistic gender-neutrality, please).

So how then, can you get high-quality software quickly? Two ways:

1. Hire experienced experts. Experienced experts produce high-quality work quickly. They write code generators to do tedious work for them. They classify problems and hunt down and implement reusable solutions. Keep giving them raises and interesting problems. Granted, defects in the software will be of the extremely intractable variety (very subtle design flaws or bad/wrong requirements)
2. Reuse experienced expert knowledge and technique in the form of pattern-driven code generating tools. Hire journeyman developers to adapt the code the tool burps out and get on with life. Keep an expert or two around to extend or correct the patterns the tool uses for generation. You'll get applications that are far less pretty than the hand-crafted variety. On the other hand, the defects are known and predicatable. Tools (apologies for the shameles plug) for this sort of development are just now becoming available and practical. Granted, when handed a powerful implement fools often find a way to hurt themselves (thus instantiating the 8th corollary to Murphy's Law).

Either method has drawbacks. #1 produces the best software, #2 produces the cheapest software. #1 makes the "Agile" crowd happy while #2 is the sermon of "Software Engineers."

Why single-out developers for defective code? Because developers write defective code. No, all developers aren't clods with text editors. Developers who do write buggy code may even care about their craft (Pragmatic Programmer tip #1). But developers themselves are to blame for the defects in their work, even though outside factors contribute to problems. We must take responsibilty for our bugs, move on and fix them. Then find new ways of working that make it more difficult for software defects to make it into production evironments.

We cannot fix imperfect programmers. We can only mitigate the effects of their imperfection through mentoring, certification, education, and proper management. In other words, treat software development as a craft, a talent to be polished and perfected.

Writing software well means communicating well with a computer. Artful written communication is very difficult to reduce to an engineering discipline, yet the skill can be taught and practiced.

Yes we should blame them. And yes we should blame Java when entire APIs are deprecated because they were so poorly designed. Java was designed from the ground up to be multithreaded, but has serious design flaws that required core APIs to be marked as unsafe. Basic functions like thread.stop(), for example, just don't work.

Logged in trolls can blow me.

Actually, it has been attempted. Sun created a java chip, called picoJava. There also is an ARM chip with a hardware interpreter for JVM bytecodes, Jazelle. There are plenty of other examples of this.

Nothing that sits on the mobo to supplement a 'real' CPU tho.

Is there a reason why these virtual machines aren't taken as a blueprint for real hardware and implemented as such?

I'm no hardware guy. But I have a wee bit of experience hacking on the Smalltalk virtual machine. I imagine that this is so because VMs are designed as VMs, not as a blueprint for hardware. To support an entire computer, I wouldn't be surprised if you had to add a lot more instructions than most VMs provide.

Actually, it has been attempted. Sun created a java chip, called picoJava. There also is an ARM chip with a hardware interpreter for JVM bytecodes, Jazelle. There are plenty of other examples of this.

Nothing that sits on the mobo to supplement a 'real' CPU tho.

Is there a reason why these virtual machines aren't taken as a blueprint for real hardware and implemented as such?

I'm no hardware guy. But I have a wee bit of experience hacking on the Smalltalk virtual machine. I imagine that this is so because VMs are designed as VMs, not as a blueprint for hardware. To support an entire computer, I wouldn't be surprised if you had to add a lot more instructions than most VMs provide.

Sun license the picoJava core, which is the JVM on a chip, to a number of companies, including IBM and Fujitsu.

DigitalPriest.Com: Sex & The Single Minister
... a heroic figure, while an oiled ... black woman within the Black ... from kid to grown-up ... Leeann
Tweeden, poking her butt ... Men who are, I ... on the floor, neighbors banging ...
www.digital-priest.com/viewpoint/sex/sex3.htm - 42k - Cached - Similar pages

DigitalPriest.Com: Sex & The Single Minister
... is a heroic figure, while an oiled ... from kid to grown-up ... model Leeann Tweeden, poking
her butt ... on the floor, neighbors banging ... by Robert Fein for Black Men's ...
www.digital-priest.cobuddies with half the hot men ... so clear it almost looked oiled ... of the cutest boy-butt ... His
black hair was drenched and ... He picked up the pace ... Now he was banging the ...
www.ultranet.com/~kyp/ideas.html - 21k - Cached - Similar pages

Stories
... padlock, heavier than before banging ... was before that stuffing butt ... doubly emphasized
their gleaming, black-oiled ... and strong and now up ... the edge on the men ...
www.tigerpumping.com/stories/Nigel/Novice3_pa rt2.h tml - 42k - Cached - Similar pages

nifty.nisusnet.com/nifty/bisexual/encounters/thr ee -on-a-match
... She had jet black hair cut ... love to by two handsome men ... a nice almost feminine butt. ... and
was furiously finger banging ... Dave to hardness and oiled us both up ...
15k - Cached - m/vist on the dark, oiled ... where Harvey heard him banging ... a working gang of men ... Penn doubled
up, gasping among ... appeared, noiseless as a black ... Scuttle-butt's for ...
whitewolf.newcastle.edu.au/words/authors/K/Ki pling Rudyard/ prose/CaptainsCourageous/captcourage_chap2.html - 38k - Cached - Similar pages

Myka's Mystical Adventure by: Nia Nandi
... of many colored skin oiled ... wrestling was up next, men ... over to put your butt ... oral pleasure
and for banging ... pillows lying on those black ... his back, hips raised up ...
ewpoint/ sex/sex2.htm - 50k - Cached - Similar pagesEpisode 6
... in a headlock, repeatedly banging ... Four men detached from the ... clear that horrible acne
up ... to have raw dirty butt ... of my big well-oiled and muthcular black ...

to bad that its not default on EVERY **nix

It's not there yet but it's heading that way. Of the platforms I work with regularly:

Redhat have shipped OpenSSH since 7.0
Sun ships a modified OpenSSH with Solaris 9.
IBM ship OpenSSH on the AIX5 bonus pack CD (also downloadable)
HP provide a native OpenSSH package for HP-UX 11+

They're all native packages and they're all supported.

Go to SunSolve, go down to where the selection lists for hardware are, pick "Desktops/Workstations" and "Blade 2000".

Right there at the top of the page will be pictures of what you're looking for. The big purple blocky things are the CPUs with a big fan blowing right across them.

When building your contraption, be sure you don't care about your warranty, and use a big heatsink with the fins pointed in the right direction.

It wasn't that the techies were doing poor work, or slacking off on the job. Far from it - we worked our asses off. But a lack of knowledge about what was and wasn't possible resulted *directly* in impossible task assignment, with the entirely predictable consequent frequent outages and customer dissatisfaction.

Oh, and remember how I said we had layoffs? All the project managers were laid off save one. The surviving PM was universally held as being technically competent and a gem among mud.

hat it has to do with is that xinerama will now be part of the main X consortium's tree.

Umm, this blurb on the Xinerama task force at X.org seems to indicate that it's been "part of the main X consortium's tree" since X11R6.4.

This will (eventually) make commercial X servers (such as those in Solaris, AIX, etc.) slightly larger due to xinerama support being "backported".

Xinerama is already in Solaris 8's X server, at least according to this item on Solaris 8.

The actual item on the XFree86 Web site (go to their home page and search for "Xinerama"; the anchor tag for the Xinerama item is incorrect, with "name=anniversary", so at least with some browsers the "Xinerama" link doesn't work) says:

Public Review of the Draft Standard of the Xinerama Extension to the X Window System, sponsored by X.Org.

After its initial release, as part of X11R6.4, the Xinerama Extension API and code base splintered as many different developers ported it to their X Window System base. The Xinerama task force of X.Org has been working with a cross section of developers to create a new API that meets the needs of all, to replace the various versions currently available. The goal of this task force has been to create an API that can become an X Window System standard. The task force has been following the new Standards process defined by X.Org. The API is now at Stage 4 of that process: Public Review.

The Xinerama extension provides a mechanism for a multi-headed system to function as one large screen. Windows can span multiple screens and can move from one screen to another.

The review period for this proposed standard ends July 26, 2002. A mail list for discussion of the proposed standard has been created, xinerama-std-review@lists.sourceforge.net. This mail list is publicly available, and archived on the project website. The web site for this project is Xinerama@Sourceforge . Further documenation and code is available there.

This is the FIRST and ONLY case of XFree86 code going into the shared implementation. Previously all exchanges were bug fixes.

I don't know whether that means that code from XFree86 will be used as part or all of the implementation for the updated Xinerama, or that the item about new code going in belonged with some other item the bulk of which is missing, but I don't think the XFree86 folk originated Xinerama - they picked up their initial implementation from X11R6.4.

And they have OEM Licensing.. A couple groups to license it for inclusion in their prodcuts are Ximian ($9.95 per month, or $59.95 purchase) and Suse ($24.95).

Sun has Enterprise licenses that drops the per-user cost the more licenses you buy. They have various levels from $50/user for 150 users to $25/user for 10,000 users. At 1,000 users, a company would pay $40,000 ($40 per user). (SOURCE: http://www.sun.com/service/support/sw_only/star_pr ogovw.html click on "StarOffice 6.0 Licenses")

I couldn't find MS's volume licensing, but even if they gave a huge discount from retail (say 75%off the retail price of $450 for Office XP Standard), the 1,000 user company would still wind up paying $112,500.

In other words, Star Office would save the 1,000 user company $72,500. (Companies might shy away from the free Open Office because there's no official support channels whereas you can call up Sun with tech support inquiries.)

Linux Mandrake is just the latest in a long line of quirkily christened versions of Linux. Previous versions of Linux have been named Red Hat, Slack Ware, Storm and Coral. In stark contrast to the mundane names such as 98, ME or NT preferred by Microsoft, the crazy names of each Linux release hint at its renegade nature.

My foray into the world of Linux began by downloading a "CD image" from the Linux web site. But don't worry, this isn't software piracy, it's perfectly legal! Linux is shareware, meaning that it can be freely redistributed without fear of a visit by the Business Software Alliance. The free availability of Linux is a major reason for its popularity among cash-strapped students and self-styled anti-capitalist hackers.

Before installing new software, it is always advisable to read the documentation. Unfortunately, an unpleasant surprise was in store for me in the "required configuration" section of the manual. I was shocked to learn that Linux Mandrake only runs on Pentium processors, meaning that my hopes of testing the water with my old Gateway 486 were dashed. Furthermore, a whopping 32 megabytes of memory are required to run Linux! Although the advocates of Linux self-righteously boast the efficiency of their chosen operating system and deride the "bloatware" produced by Microsoft, it appears that their claims are blatantly incorrect. Although my humble 486 will happily run Windows 95, it seems that Linux requires far more powerful, and more expensive, computer hardware. Is this really the sign of a lean, mean operating system? Of course not.

Sadly, not even being able to install Linux is just the first of my many complaints. A brief perusal of the features of Linux Mandrake reveals that Linux is sorely lacking many crucial productivity applications. For example, why isn't the industry standard web browser, Internet Explorer, included with Linux? Despite the best efforts of the experts at the Internet Engineering Task Force to encourage adoption of the Internet Explorer standard, the creators of Linux seem to think that they know better. By refusing to adhere to recognised standards, Linux is simply undermining its own credibility.

Similarly, almost all of the world's most popular and widely used software is completely incompatible with Linux! It may surprise you to learn that your copy of Microsoft Office, Outlook Express, or Lotus Notes will not work under Linux. Those who wish to use their computer for recreational purposes are also out of luck, for almost all of the most popular games are unavailable for Linux. Although a wide range of software is freely available for Linux, these pitiful offerings are mostly unfinished, unreliable and do not bear comparison to their commercial counterparts.

Computer security is also an area that seems to have been overlooked by the developers of Linux. In these times when hacking and viruses are commonplace, it defies belief to learn that no anti-virus software is available for Linux. To add insult to injury, there is no Linux version of the popular ZoneAlarm firewall. By using Linux, you are issuing an open invitation to the hordes of ne'er-do-wells on the Internet.

The shortcomings of Linux are obvious. Without even installing Linux Mandrake, I have exposed several fundamental flaws. Surely it is not too much to expect that, after ten years of development, the creators of Linux would have addressed these problems? The real question that the prospective Linux user must ask himself is, "Why bother?" After all, Microsoft Windows comes free with most PCs and there simply isn't a need to replace it, particularly not with a product of inferior quality.

Although it is always tempting to support the underdog, Windows XP will be the deserved victor in the battle ahead. I recommend that those Adequacy readers who are hoping to upgrade their operating system patiently wait for the release of Windows XP, rather than foolishly wasting their time, effort and money on Linux.

"Get JavaTM Technology Now" and a big image to click on... How much easier do you want it to be ?

Sun created a site targeted to end users, this is the Get Java site. It features an automatic install of Java 1.3 for XP users, and a download for other platforms. There are Java demos too.

Straight from the horses mouth:
Sun's The Java Tutorial is good.
Walks you through some OO concepts as well which can be a pain coming from a procedural background

...getting Windows apps to run on Pocket PC. The problem was changing their UI. Think of M$ Word--do you really want three or more toolbars that stretching across 1024 pixels, a menu bar, a status bar, an autoshape bar, and a title bar squished on a 320x320 screen? Of course not.

Now, if somebody gets technology to dynamically reformat any application's UI into an appropriate format for that presentation device, then I'll start buying. In the meantime, if you don't mind, I'll continue developing ports of my apps under J2ME.

Jouster

I agree regarding JSP - but the solution is to not put any logic in your JSP. For those who haven't used JSP, the problem is that the JWS has to compile the JSP page into a servlet prior to interpreting it, which of course makes it awfully slow. I think one of the best practices architecture is to do all of your business logic and database calls from a servlet/databean and then have the result set encapsulated inside of a javabean and returned through the session to the JSP page. The JSP page only is responsible for retrieving the JavaBean object from session memory and displaying the values. No heavy processing here.

When you say JSP+EJB, I couldn't agree with you more. Doing a JNDI call from a JSP page is suicidal, but I wouldn't reject webapps for this reason - just build a better architecture :)

I would recommend looking at the Java Pet Store Example from Sun's site. It's their official Enterprise Blueprint for Java Webapps and might help to convince you otherwise.

Personally, for using EJBs, I've found the most efficient implementation is to use (1) using some clever caching design patterns for the lookups (2) cloning design patterns to prevent all method calls from being remote calls and (3) to have the EJBs called from a servlet or other class file.
At any rate, Java technnology has its uses in the Enterprise. I've used PostNuke, PHPNuke and done some PHP coding on my own, but I wouldn't consider myself an expert, but I suspect it may not scale quite as well in a large application as a properly designed Java Webapp might.

"If you are wondering what I'm talking about, the easiest example is to try and compile jdk13 from the ports in FreeBSD, you can't w/o agreeing to about 500 agreements and giving them plenty of marketoid info."

And you think you will have better success with .NET??

"That along was enough to make me recomend against using java in favor of a VC app on a NT server for our most recent project (And I'm an 'Open Source Weenie')."

I thought we were talking FreeBSD. So not being able to build a proprietary VM on FreeBSD makes you choose an even more proprietary solution on an even more proprietary OS...?

"If the java specs were published"

They ARE published: Language Spec VM Spec

"and the source was Free (Free as in speach, not free as in downloadable)"

Again, how is .NET any better in this regard? Is the code for the .NET libraries even viewable (if not "open source")?? (Sun packages most of the source to their libraries with their SDKs for free for "reference" purposes)

"by shutting out MS they screwed themselfs"

Dude, MS shut *THEM* out, once they saw Java as a threat.

To their credit Sun has done a great job with Java...they still maintain control (and with a competitor like MS and .NET, why wouldn't they want to?), but they have been increasingly open...they even recently came to an agreement with the Apache group on open source java J2EE certification. I'm really not holding my breath to see if MS is going to be more open-source friendly than Java.

"If you are wondering what I'm talking about, the easiest example is to try and compile jdk13 from the ports in FreeBSD, you can't w/o agreeing to about 500 agreements and giving them plenty of marketoid info."

And you think you will have better success with .NET??

"That along was enough to make me recomend against using java in favor of a VC app on a NT server for our most recent project (And I'm an 'Open Source Weenie')."

I thought we were talking FreeBSD. So not being able to build a proprietary VM on FreeBSD makes you choose an even more proprietary solution on an even more proprietary OS...?

"If the java specs were published"

They ARE published: Language Spec VM Spec

"and the source was Free (Free as in speach, not free as in downloadable)"

Again, how is .NET any better in this regard? Is the code for the .NET libraries even viewable (if not "open source")?? (Sun packages most of the source to their libraries with their SDKs for free for "reference" purposes)

"by shutting out MS they screwed themselfs"

Dude, MS shut *THEM* out, once they saw Java as a threat.

To their credit Sun has done a great job with Java...they still maintain control (and with a competitor like MS and .NET, why wouldn't they want to?), but they have been increasingly open...they even recently came to an agreement with the Apache group on open source java J2EE certification. I'm really not holding my breath to see if MS is going to be more open-source friendly than Java.

I thought that's what Sun's Jini network technology was for.

Jini[tm] network technology is an open architecture that enables developers to create network-centric services -- whether implemented in hardware or software -- that are highly adaptive to change. Jini technology can be used to build adaptive networks that are scalable, evolvable and flexible as typically required in dynamic computing environments.

As you work on Windows systems, you might look at #develop which is a very flexible open source IDE for .NET. I presume you are running .NET anyway by now, as that is where VS is at now. It has among other nifty features a completely plugin-based architecture (see the SODA document for details) and user-definable backends, i.e. you can switch the compiler (and language of course) to whatever you like. Currently the MS.NET compilers and the SUN Java engine are implemented as backends, but if you want to use MONO for Windows, GCC or whatever, you can do it. And as you might guess from the last bit, porting to Linux is planned as soon as dotGNU and/or MONO are up and running :-)

While the power of LINUX is well known as a power-full OS, adequate for most jobs. There are some jobs that require the flair and power of UNIX to do the job right.
I must cite the extensive use of SUN Systems used in many other movies, like Jurrasic Park and Terminator 2, and wonder what would prompt ILM to pick LINUX above an obviously proven set of tools?

... if you are a Java developer, definitely check out the eclipse, it's better than looking at the sun.

In case it's not transparently obvious to everyone, I should point out that the above is complete FUD.

Anyone contemplating developing Java on Linux applications should read the following to set their mind at rest:

1. The list of already existing and completely open VM and class library ports at Kaffe.org. Sun can do nothing to restrict any of these clean-room developments, nor has it shown any sign of wishing to.

2. Sun's Community Source license. This explains the terms on which Sun's own code is shared. Note that this license has proven open enough for the Blackdown Linux port to be developed. Interestingly, the Blackdown group have listed what they would ideally want from Sun to keep their implementation fully compatible, and a "better definition" of the Java platform doesn't appear to be needed.

Attempts by Mono developers and other interested parties to discredit Java-on-Linux should be treated with great caution. Not only do they try to represent Sun and IBM as imposing more restrictions on open developments than Microsoft (presumably their status as actual open source contributors counts for nothing against the neutral and fair-dealing Redmond empire, well known for its 'embrace' of standards) but they deliberately misrepresent what parts of Dotnet are actually open and standardized. Any open app that uses a Dotnet GUI (Windows Forms or Web Forms) or database API (ADO.NET) is not using standard mechanisms - these APIs, and in fact over 1000 of the 1200 classes in Dotnet today, are entirely proprietary and are protected by patents.

Oh, and I didn't use the word "all" - et al translates as 'and others', a somewhat different meaning.

We have 4 developers doing inhouse development at the place where I work. The web interface programmer uses Java Servelets, the back end guy is forced to deal with Fortran because of lots of legacy code, I'm working with C and Perl in the middle tier. My boss asked me to write wrapper functions for Java which the web developer could use to access my C + Perl functions. I didn't have the patience or time to deal with JNI, so I decided to have a daemon run on the host and listen on a socket. The Java wrappers would recive a request from the web app, serialize it and send it over the a tcp connection on the same host. The C program listening on the other end will have to deserealize it, make sense of what the Java application wants to do, execute the function and send the results back (via serialization etc). Maybe JNI would have been easier, but my point is there is a lot of glue work I have to do just to get the C, Java and Perl talk to each other.

.NET lets you integrate all this in one go. If, (I know this isn't possible...yet) every compiler we had was a .NET compatible, there would be no ugly glue between apps.

Programming languages are the software developers tools much like a mechanic who has his wrench, pliers etc. Analyze the problem and select the tool which will give you maximum productivity. If I have to do alot of string processing, parsing etc, I'd go with Perl, for low level stuff I have C. AI stuff, prolog and lisp (although I'm not too good with prolog, but the damn goal searching,backtracking built in is excellent). You use the tool which will give you maximum flexibility and efficiency to solve your program. A big project can be broken into smaller boxes. .NET can be the glue which lets all the tools talk to each other. After all the FUD about XML, UDDI, IL, CLR, I think the goal of .NET is interoperability between programs. Which IMHO can make my life alot easier and much better.

Same reason you can't have Photoshop for Linux, or Microsoft Office for Linux: because the vendor wouldn't make any money off of a version of their software for Linux.

Yet you can buy Maya for Linux, which costs just a hair more than Photoshop or Microsoft Office. You can buy Star Office, but most people don't, because OpenOffice is nearly the same quality with the definate promise of improvement. There's also Abiword. Gnumeric is a top-notch spreadsheet program that I've come to prefer to excel. There's more like this. There's really very little incentive to buy an office suite when you can get better for free.

In other fields, the Free alternatives tend to kick the hiney of their commercial counterparts. Let's try a few, okay? Pan, a newsreader based loosley on Agent. Pan is the only newsreader to score perfectly on the GNKSA Evaluations. Compared this to its commercial basis, Agent's score really sucks. Then there's Quanta for HTML editing. VIM is fine for most people, but if you need that Dreamweaver-like crap, Quanta does it without getting in your way. And it's REALLY good. Oh yes, it's Free with a capital "EFF."

This is a silly arguement to make against "Linux." This is Capitalism 101. Good products offered under better conditions succeed while inferior products do not. Maya is wonderful under Linux, and there is nothing else in its league available on a Unix-ish (OS X, Linux) platform.

Oh, yes. You can also buy numerous games, of course. Neverwinter Nights in particular will be releasing for all three major platforms in a single box. We'll see what this does for sales.

For infrastructure, it's top notch, for ease of use, it's a lumbering elephant.

I'm not really sure I want to see it spread to the desktop since I'm afraid the process will involves changes that might make it a less effective for "infrastructure". Whether I like it or not, however, it's happening. There seem to be enough projects focusing on the desktop now (like Ximian Evolution, Nautilus, StarOffice/OpenOffice, etc., etc.) that we are reaching some kind of eerie critical mass. I keep hearing about folks who are using those tools to make the switch from a Windows desktop to a Linux one (in fact, I was just talking to a buddy who just switched 2 folks at his site at their request). Installation is not a biggie if the admin is involved since they can make install images for generic Linux desktop boxen as easily as they can for the Windows ones.

Like I said, I'm not sure I like it, but it really looks like it's starting to happen...

I interviewed at Sun in '98 these where everywhere

This is neither new nor interesting from a UNIX user's perspective. Only in the Windows world do you really really need a workstation of your own. The model they where using then was the JavaStaion these have been around since 1996 http://www.sun.com/smi/Press/sunflash/9611/sunflas h.961114.html

A thin client (Oracle/Larry Ellison propaganda aside) is a jumped up X-Term with a disk drive and maybe a local hard drive or large removable media. If you have a really skilled SysAdmin staff (I imagine Sun does) you can run all your regular UNIX customization & Window Makers on this, Gnome, Enlightenment, and even play Quake where ever your at in the whole world. Your not tied to hardware with can be stolen or virus'd

So the workstation is $500 a pop, the CPU isn't just a local P-4 or something it's the front end for some big set of Mid-range or higher box like a Sunfire or SunCat or some other UNIX or even Microsoftie server.

when somebody tells me about how cool their new Dell is and how well it can crunch that Excel, I just smile, I can have screensavers that are actual Fractals in real time. Wine sessions that out run the latest P4

Ok, so the one you saw has got a little Grey Flannel Suit look to it, but you have to remember it's a company system. Sorry to be L33tist but if the bulk of your contact with a computer is 9-5 your going to have fish as your screensaver and a picture of your kids as your background.

As we progress with the routine technical advancement your going to see a things like SUN 450 Enterprise w/Quad 480Mhz processors showing up on Ebay for $500, Likely in about 18 months

Schools and small businesses are going to start wondering why they are being nibbled to death by Microsoft and Apple and the various shadowy and dodgy hardware vendors (Compaq, Dell, Packard Bell) and switch into where this setup is more common it will look more like the NAVI from Lain

I interviewed at Sun in '98 these where everywhere

This is neither new nor interesting from a UNIX user's perspective. Only in the Windows world do you really really need a workstation of your own. The model they where using then was the JavaStaion these have been around since 1996 http://www.sun.com/smi/Press/sunflash/9611/sunflas h.961114.html

A thin client (Oracle/Larry Ellison propaganda aside) is a jumped up X-Term with a disk drive and maybe a local hard drive or large removable media. If you have a really skilled SysAdmin staff (I imagine Sun does) you can run all your regular UNIX customization & Window Makers on this, Gnome, Enlightenment, and even play Quake where ever your at in the whole world. Your not tied to hardware with can be stolen or virus'd

So the workstation is $500 a pop, the CPU isn't just a local P-4 or something it's the front end for some big set of Mid-range or higher box like a Sunfire or SunCat or some other UNIX or even Microsoftie server.

when somebody tells me about how cool their new Dell is and how well it can crunch that Excel, I just smile, I can have screensavers that are actual Fractals in real time. Wine sessions that out run the latest P4

Ok, so the one you saw has got a little Grey Flannel Suit look to it, but you have to remember it's a company system. Sorry to be L33tist but if the bulk of your contact with a computer is 9-5 your going to have fish as your screensaver and a picture of your kids as your background.

As we progress with the routine technical advancement your going to see a things like SUN 450 Enterprise w/Quad 480Mhz processors showing up on Ebay for $500, Likely in about 18 months

Schools and small businesses are going to start wondering why they are being nibbled to death by Microsoft and Apple and the various shadowy and dodgy hardware vendors (Compaq, Dell, Packard Bell) and switch into where this setup is more common it will look more like the NAVI from Lain

The terminals are called 'Sun Ray', and consist of either a 17" CRT or 15" LCD or a headless cpu, all of which contain a card reader.

They have dedicated motherboards with built-in ethernet and USB. They have no floppy or HD. They do have video (RCA) out and audio I/O (headphones).

I'm sure you can get the unit price down much lower when negotiating multiple units and a server. No one would buy just one of these things.

One server can drive hundreds of these. You simply use your smart card to logon, and your current saved desktop is delivered to your screen. There are no costs involved in administrating a stand alone cpu, and you never have to upgrade.

First they are not dumb ternimals, far from it. It is called a SunRay. If you want to know more about them, try http://www.sun.com/products/sunray/. Amongst other things you can take your SunRay card, pull it from your terminal and go put it in another. As long as the SunRay is on the same system you get your exact desktop back. With SunRay you also dont waste the vast amount of computing resources in your workplace. Don't take my word for it, go ask distribted.net. And that is just for wasted CPU cycles.

Second it is called Flexable Field Office. This means that you do NOT have to go into to the office to work. It is BECAUSE of this meany of the Sun workers were NOT in the World Trade Center Last September 11. You also do not have to be in your home town to go to an office to do work. Where it made sense, some employes kept their offices.

The terminals are called 'Sun Ray', and consist of either a 17" CRT or 15" LCD or a headless cpu, all of which contain a card reader. They also have headphone and video (RCA) out.

They have dedicated motherboards with built-in ethernet and USB. They have no floppy or HD.

You can't buy an entire computer, with monitor and OS for that price. I'm sure you can get that price down much lower when negotiating hundreds of units and a server.

One server can drive hundreds of these. You simply use your smart card to logon, and your current saved desktop is delivered to your screen. There are no costs involved in administrating a stand alone cpu, and you never have to upgrade.

However, they are meant to be disposable boxes, targeting data centers where it's desireable to add new identical machine as demand increases. That is, you can't upgrade the CPU, the memory tops out at 2GB, max of 2 x 40GB IDE drives, and no external expansion (unless the built-in USB ports can host drives -- yuck). Specs are here if anyone's curious.

We chose the Netras because the chemistry software required Solaris (well, given the choices, we took the Solaris version). I personally would have perferred Linux servers, and since you have the choie, I recommend the same.

Others may say that the support built into machines by the "big players" (IBM, Sun, Compaq, etc.), plus the turn-key state of the machine out of the box, amounts to a non-trivial savings of your time (which equals your employer's money).

I beg to differ.

In addition to many Athlon-based Linux servers, I manage Solaris, AIX, and IRIX machines, each of which either have or have had vendor support. While it's nice to pick up the phone and have either a new part or a service engineer on-site within 4 hours, the bottom line is that these servers need to be back up ASAP. I have found the the comodity-based solution to be better in that respect.

You see, we use a tried-and-true local PC vendor, who builds to order. If a part goes bad, I can have a replacement in an hour or two, unless it is unusually exotic (rare). So commodity wins in hardware matters.

For software issues, I hit Google. I don't want to toot my own horn too much, but if I get stumped by a software issue, I have never had vendor support get me any further than telling me to apply the next service pack (which I end up doing anyway). Maybe I don't push the envelope, but this guy is replacing a web server -- how much will it push the envelope?

Having said all of that, don't compare apples and oranges. High-end servers have they're place. The IBM system I admin waits until I schedule a downtime, most hardware failures be damned. But the yearly maintenance fees alone could by a dozen of the boxes this guys wants to buy. But I think commodity has proven itself, and I'm planning on replacing our IBM NFS server with a Athlon/Linux solution.

Concerning the Windows 2000 competition... It probably would be eaiser to find a replacement admin who could maintain the status quo -- but that's it. Finding someone who really knows their stuff (in NT or UNIX) will take more time and money. But given a choice between an equal UNIX and NT admin, I'd prefer to have the UNIX guy, as I feel the skillset is more valuable -- but that, of course, is only my opinion. Plus, if the machine is properly documented, any competent admin can come in and take over. Technical merits of the OS aside (I prefer UNIX), I'd push Linux as there will never be a license fee and system requirements for Linux don't climb as quickly as NT as the OS progresses (for server boxes -- try running Win2k/IIS on anything less than a Pentium -- though modern Linux desktops suck up resources, too).

Plus if you buy Intel-based hardware and go Linux, you're employer can convert to whatever version of NT is in at the time (provided it doesn't obsolete the hardware -- snicker). You get no such option with Sun hardware (though you can go Linux or *BSD).

To put my long rant into perspective, I got my NT4 MCSE cert in 1997, while I was in charge of a 60-user windows network for 3 years. As stated in my post, I mostly admin UNIX boxes now. While I don't have a grudge against NT, I think the pros of UNIX and Linux outweigh those of NT, especially for server machines.

Many of these types of games and more where being demonstrated on JavaONE this year on J2ME devices so I would get too hung up on BREW. In fact I wouldn't even bother with that technology.

BREW is currently a CDMA only technology. The majority of the world uses GSM thought. (Americans sometimes forget this since CDMA has a larger, but weakening, footprint in the US.) The majority of carriers and handset manufacturers are committed to J2ME in someway. Motorola has gone so far as to pledge that all of its phones will ship with J2ME by the end of this year. Even CDMA carrier Sprint PCS have decided to forego BREW for J2ME when they launch thier new service this August.

If your a developers, where would you put your efort first?

J2ME has its limtiations though. Then again so do these devices -- With a screen not much larger then an airmail stamp we're not even talking game boy here. The limitations of J2ME are currently being addressed with initatives such as Project Monty (a new high performance virtual machine), Mobile Game API and the Mobile Media API.

<tim/>
---
http://tima.mplode.com/

Many of these types of games and more where being demonstrated on JavaONE this year on J2ME devices so I would get too hung up on BREW. In fact I wouldn't even bother with that technology.

BREW is currently a CDMA only technology. The majority of the world uses GSM thought. (Americans sometimes forget this since CDMA has a larger, but weakening, footprint in the US.) The majority of carriers and handset manufacturers are committed to J2ME in someway. Motorola has gone so far as to pledge that all of its phones will ship with J2ME by the end of this year. Even CDMA carrier Sprint PCS have decided to forego BREW for J2ME when they launch thier new service this August.

If your a developers, where would you put your efort first?

J2ME has its limtiations though. Then again so do these devices -- With a screen not much larger then an airmail stamp we're not even talking game boy here. The limitations of J2ME are currently being addressed with initatives such as Project Monty (a new high performance virtual machine), Mobile Game API and the Mobile Media API.

<tim/>
---
http://tima.mplode.com/

If you get bored one day, why not download the source for the entire Java Runtime, hotspot, etc etc from here. Sure that's not entirely open-source, but it's enough for me. I don't think it would help Java much by open-sourcing the Java SDK and runtime, and personally feel that C# isn't a threat to Java.

Games on wireless phones have been around for quite a while already. I'm not talking about snake or tic tac toe, but golf, motorcycle games, bowling, wrestling, etc. Sun's J2ME has been providing this technology on Nextel phones since March of 2001.

If you check out the games section of the iDEN Update Application Catalog you can see that many, many games can be downloaded to your phone today.

Now, graphically, these are nice. They will become compelling when Nextel releases it's next phone, the i95cl (press release here) which we should expect within the next 1-2 months. The primary benefit of the new phone being not only the color screen, but the ability to store many more applications through memory improvements as well as processor speed improvements.

I have seen GPS enabled multiplayer games in the works, and many other cool things to come from the Nextel developer community. If you are a developer, please check out the Nextel Developer Program and Motorola's iDEN Developer Program. Both sites have free registration, resources, and special pricing on some equipment for developers. Both also have procedures to establish co-marketing relationships.

Games on phones (and more) that you can download have been around for a while. Sun's J2ME is implemented on quite a few mobile phones. I've got a Siemens SL45i that runs J2ME applications (not only games) pretty well. If you want a look at the sort of stuff available for these phones try midletcentral.com and Micro Java.

Although I cannot find a specific-cool link at their site, the Human Performance Lab in the Department of Kinesthetics has been doing some mightly cool motion capture and analysis of atheletes, normal people and people with physical limitations for years. Very cool Sun based motion tracking system. My climbing partner in Uni used to be the technician for the capture / analysis systems. They were SPARC systems at the time, from sun.
As other posters have mentioned, motion capture and motion synthesis tend to be very different problems, although in an end product (if it is a rendering) may contain elements of both.
Alias' tools still tend to be some of the better products out there for synthesis. If you are serious about capture, I know that the U of C department would at least be a starting place for software sources. I know that it wasn't an inexpensive setup.

I don't think leastsquares is right, according to Sun's edu pages. There's an email contact on that page you can use to request a discounted copy.

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

Linus Torvalds is an anagram of SLIT ANUS OR VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.

Richard M. Stallman , spokespervert for the Gaysex is Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of MANS CRAM THRILL AD.

Alan Cox is barely an anagram of ANAL COX which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, [Buy At Amazon] is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for SECONDARY RIM and CORD IN MY ARSE. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for "Felch Male" - a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, "felching" is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into "e-male."

As far as Richard "(cock)Master" Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following:

RMS: "I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance," he says. "It's about being able to question conventional wisdom," he asserts. "I believe in love, but not monogamy," he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!

Speaking about "flaming," who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:

"I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as "Slashdot's resident Gasbag." Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux "Sauce Code," a "Gasbag" is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, "piss-pipe"), then his homosexual lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the Slack-wear fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of CLAW ARSE, a reference to the homosexual practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for DARK AMEN and RAM NAKED, which is what they do.

Another "distro," (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like "Disco," which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of IN A BED, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. "Woody" is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase "Frozen Potato" that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual "Sauce Code," refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the "supermount" tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. "Automount" is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of "mount points." These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say "There is no /opt mount point" because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love 'man', even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out 'man'. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the "FAQ," but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title "Slashdot" originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.goatse.cx/.

The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: "Hemos" is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from "Homos." But even more sickening is "Commander Taco" which sounds a bit like "Commode in Taco," filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement. (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these "Taco Commodes" have special "Salsa Sauce" (blood from a ruptured rectum) and "Cheese" (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!

The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, The Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. "Slash - Dot" is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled "stumpers."

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux "Sauce code" once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase "Monolithic Kernel"?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. - mighty jebus, Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the "Open Sauce" movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested.

(Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly - who are the real crazies - people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) - double_h, Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux "sauce code" is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: "Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow." And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by A Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to "Pearl Necklace" for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. - phee, Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to "Pearl Monocle", "Pearl Nosering", and the ubiquitous "Pearl Enema".

One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry "Balls to the" Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of "colon kissing," whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as "Parameter Passing".

And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. - Eimernase, Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I DO know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an "extension" to the Linux "Sauce Code," for the sake of "interoperability." (The slang term they use for non-consensual intercourse - their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the "Samba Mount," into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the "Samba Mount" collapses due to "overload," and needs to be "rebooted." (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their "uptime" in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend +1, Underrated, as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened "Bender"???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of "Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours," but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a "number two," as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos tend to be full of. Thank you again. - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you - Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD, which is an acronym for Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator) across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License, according to geekacronyms.org) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is KNOWN to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of "Source Control" unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like "Sauce Control," which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And "Open Sauce" is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, "Closed Sauce" is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of "soggy biscuit" that open "sauce" development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, The WIPO Troll, FreeWIPO, Bring BackATV. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version is based on the all-too-rare backup copy sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Re-reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Additional stuff done in preparation for the future.

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding 'man' and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!