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I gave up TV in 2003. Just use BBC iPlayer for the Doctor Who episodes now. Everything else is a combination of iTunes rentals, torrents and podcasts.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-constantly-mentioning-he-doesnt-own-a-tel,429/

At the risk of being "That Guy", I don't have a TV and I don't really have any plans of getting one. My old roommate just moved out, and the cable was in his name. I just ordered service (currently, I'm leaching Wifi... sucks), which despite the fact I have gear and am already wired, apparently they have to send someone to me or some crap. Point is, despite the fact they really wanted to bundle me TV and digital phone service (I have a cell phone, why do I need a 'land line', especially if it'll go down if the power is out?), I had no reason to bite.

I think that as younger generations come up and are the ones making these types of purchasing decisions, it's going to be more and more common to just "do without" "old people" entertainment. The few things I want on cable, I can get on Hulu, or on southparkstudios.com the day after the episode was on TV. I use the internet to keep in touch with my friends that don't live near by, group coordinate stuff with those who do, get my the news that I don't get off of NPR in the car, obtain my software updates, work on personal projects, and sometimes work from home. I don't really need TV and I don't want it. Hell, I think if my parents' generation realized that they can get the weather on the internet without having to weight until "the eights", they'd probably ditch cable, too.

Of course, that means that the service providers aren't going to let "network neutrality" ever happen, aren't going to stop doing stuff like DNS hijacking if they can get away with it, and advertisers are going to continue polluting the tubes. Why? 'Cause they have to make up the revenue somehow, and if we're not watching TV, they'll move to where we are.

Yes, but you can get around that restriction with new Microsoft Flight Simulator Simulator 2010! Brought to you by the same people who brought you World of World of Warcraft!

1996 was listening: http://www.theonion.com/articles/nasa-nascar-merge,1051/

If you don't print out this Slashdot article, the tree you think you're saving will just get cut down for someone else.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/how-bad-for-the-environment-can-throwing-away-one,2892/

Then, another tree will be planted to replace it. Your paper doesn't come from ancient trees in the South American rainforest.

No, it came from the truck that brought it to the office from the store, where it was brought from the regional distribution hub, where it was brought from the vendor's distribution warehouse, where it was brought from the staging area at the factory, where it was brought after being soaked in chemicals to bleach it white.

1 page less isn't much, but TFS says 4% less, and 4% less is a lot less overhead waste, regardless of the "renewable" aspect of the source.

I read an article about you!

That's what the feed bag is for!

One bad apple spoiled the whole flight: http://www.theonion.com/articles/133-dead-as-delta-cancels-flight-in-midair,1837/

Very true.

Here's an authoritative in depth article on how mice hatred has been critical to human development:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/worlds-scientists-admit-they-just-dont-like-mice,1256/

Ah, yes, I believe I've seen the report on that.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/underfunded-scientists-force-lipstickcovered-rat-w,2744/

He's back!

It's from Gore-Al http://www.theonion.com/articles/al-gore-places-infant-son-in-rocket-to-escape-dyin,2495/

What are the effect of spiders on meth addicted sheep???

http://www.theonion.com/articles/meth-addicts-demand-government-address-nations-gro,2137/

Its only reasonable to test this, since it would prove once and for all whether spiders really are an invisible threat to the worlds meth addicts!

They'll have to fight Google for it. :P

Reminiscent of the Onion News Network:

Breaking News: Some BS Happening Somewhere

It must suck to be a part of the subset of those who care enough about not caring to make sure everyone knows how much they don't care.

I'm pretty sure this guy is a distant relative of his.

Every time I read the word "jurisprudence" I think of this Onion photo.

It does though I'd strongly disagree with the GPs assertion that it's "almost entirely based on online video"

Some of my favorites
http://www.theonion.com/video/ultrarealistic-modern-warfare-game-features-awaiti,14382/
http://www.theonion.com/video/warcraft-sequel-lets-gamers-play-a-character-playi,14240/

It does though I'd strongly disagree with the GPs assertion that it's "almost entirely based on online video"

Some of my favorites
http://www.theonion.com/video/ultrarealistic-modern-warfare-game-features-awaiti,14382/
http://www.theonion.com/video/warcraft-sequel-lets-gamers-play-a-character-playi,14240/

I'm not sure if there's a subtle joke I'm missing or something but it sure does, also accessible right from the front page through the navigation bar.

Presumably you'd rather be sculpting or reading Proust instead... ;-)

I didn't know you had a Slashdot account! Tell me more!

6? Fuck everything, we're doing 7.

All in the name of science!

As if two weren't enough.

Fuck everything, we are doing 5 dimensions

It's okay, she doesn't want you reading it anyway.

... But that would require work, so it won't happen...

I bet it will happen! Please refer to America's Finest News Source

Relevant: http://www.theonion.com/articles/increasing-number-of-parents-opting-to-have-childr,17159/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/fuck-everything-were-doing-five-blades,11056/

Just replace blades with cores...

Just replace URL with Goatse. Nobody wants to read that fucking ancient joke again.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/fuck-everything-were-doing-five-blades,11056/

Just replace blades with cores...

http://www.theonion.com/ and search for columbine jocks safely resume bullying.

Damn! I thought this was going to link to a funny article in The Onion.

Well, this will have to do then.

Try hanging out with adults then.

Last March, 54% of Facebook users were 26 or older (with 30% being 35 or older). I'm friends with my next door neighbor; she and her husband are retirees.

I've never had, nor will I ever have a Facebook or Myspace account. I'm not into teen events and gossip so I just don't see the point.

I bet you don't own a TV, either.

But this script only blocks these categories on the computer where the script is installed. Doesn't really help you if you have the Facebook app on your iPhone or Blackberry, or if you log on from a different machine. The only way to filter that crap out from your account is by clicking the X at the top right corner of the post and hiding all posts from the specific application or person. One could argue that most of the content on Facebook is crap, but some people actually like using it and comments like "I don't have/need Facebook" don't really bring anything to the discussion. Doesn't mean people will stop mentioning it though...

Actually the Montessori model has some equally successful applications in the adult world too.

That quote sounds almost like it is right out of this article...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-solar-system-discovered-four-feet-from-earth,1094/

I just went into my preferences and chose to exclude samzenpus. Not sure if that excludes him from RSS, but I generally don't use RSS anyway, so that should work for me. I appreciate humorous articles here as much as the next guy, assuming they are actually related to technology in some way. If I want just random stupidity, I can just go to The Onion. I used to come here to get *informed* about what is going on in the world in general, as it applies to technology. Guess I need to explore all the filtering options available here, didn't used to have to do that.

He brings a heavy looking sports-bag in the office one day - find a reason to quickly step outside.

If you get enough people to do that, he could wind up like this guy.

> How long before these botnets are so big and complex that they become similar in structure to the human brain and start thinking on their own?

Now?

I assumed for a while that they're symptoms/carriers of some kind of malware, but didn't really worry about it since I don't use Windows.

Bravo, Slashot, for again working a Windows slam into an unrelated topic. The guy who constantly mentions that he doesn't own a TV is proud: http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-constantly-mentioning-he-doesnt-own-a-tel,429/

CHAPEL HILL, NC–Area resident Jonathan Green does not own a television, a fact he repeatedly points out to friends, family, and coworkers–as well as to his mailman, neighborhood convenience-store clerks, and the man who cleans the hallways in his apartment building.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28694

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28812/

I see they conveniently omitted this.

Reminds me of a federal election debate here in .au when the TV network gave each studio audience member a control box so they could indicate "like" or "don't like" for what they were hearing.

Oblig. Onion

I never knew that quote, but it's a classic! Explains everything!

The Onion once did a little seen op-ed entitled "All My Religion Needs Now is a Snazzy Post Death Scenario."

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33382

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/classmates_com_employees

Kindle killer? Fine. But a tablet computer is an astoundingly poor replacement for a GPS device.

My Garmin device fits in my camera bag, takes 2 AA batteries, and is sturdy enough to drop off the side of a mountain into a brook. Tablets won't do that very well.

You left out web surfing.

I think NASA already has a plan. It was on the news a while back... http://www.theonion.com/content/video/nasa_scientists_plan_to_approach

The LHC got built, right? It's functioning, right? Mission accomplished, my friend.

PR is not about being well-understood, it's about getting a desired, concrete result. The public is largely stupid and fickle. If you let little PR blips like this bother you, you'll never accomplish anything great. Ultimately if the LHC delivers new science, that is all anyone in future history will remember it for. It's aggravating to read bad press but most of it just doesn't matter over time.

The space race and moon landing projects had HUGE problems for years--rockets failing very publicly, shutdowns and delays, even the death of 3 astronauts. What is remembered now? While the deaths are remembered and regretted, the number one thing that people remember is that we walked on the fucking moon. How many people today could tell you how many failed launches the Saturn V had? Who cares?