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Attributing quotes to Oscar Wilde is a ongoing meme on the Uncyclopedia. Most people were aware if not of Yogi Berra, at least that someone else than the original poster was the author, as that joke is widely known. If people were to give credits for every joke here, every soviet Russia would have to be attributed to Yakov Smirnoff, for instance.

I think maybe they used the wrong reference page.

Yeah! And you know, four out of five dentists recommend chewing sugarfree gum. I go to Dr. Kyle Charles Finnegan, the "out out of five dentists" who recommends gum with sugar in it.

In order to understand this Emoticon, and indeed all others, it's necessary to become aquanted with Emoticonics: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Emoticonics

They can have as much control of my digi. hole as they want, just as long as they don't go after my anal. hole.

Too late!

MUSTELASBURG, Deutsche Demokratische Republik, Monday (Neues Deutschland) — Microsoft and Trabant have unveiled a complete new software system for car drivers. The "Sink" platform, introduced at the Mustelasburg auto show, will be available in over 12 Trabant vehicles this year.

The agreement is part of a constant quest by Microsoft, the world's largest software maker, for fresh vistas beyond the office supply market it dominates. Trabant, meanwhile, hopes that new technology will help it solve the problem of dwindling market share even in its home German market. "The market potential is absolutely enormous," said Markus Fields, Trabant's president for the DDR.

Microsoft is bringing its expertise to bear on all aspects of the new Trabant Langeshorn:

• Improved compatibility with the original motor-tricycle version of the Trabant, while maintaining at least its level of crash safety. Not that the Trabant Langeshorn crashes.
• The two cylinders of the two-stroke engine will be doubled in size, shortening the 0 to 100 km/h time to three hours and forty minutes, half what it was in previous models.
• A colouring agent ("Aero") will be added to the exhaust, to accurately recreate the vapour trail of the twenty-first century flying car those people in the West are supposed to have by now.
• The phenolic reinforced plastic body will be doubled in thickness for added crash protection. Not that the Trabant Langeshorn crashes.
• Other "Aero" enhancements in the Trabant Langeshorn include pink alloy wheels, a musical horn playing Die Internationale and a metre-high spoiler.

"The thrust of our new model of car is to make it more attractive to Trabant owners," said Steve Ballmer, Microsoft CEO. "Any Trabant driver knows Ferrari owners are just losers with penis-size issues and that their market share is insignificant. Ferrari just keeps proving over and over that it can't come out with a popularly priced Trabant-like model."

Microsoft expected its marketing muscle to go far in this new market battle. "Just imagine the joy a Ferrari mechanic will feel when they finally get to work on a market leader with industry muscle behind it like the Trabant."

Why don't they move the operation to somewhere like the Philippines, where traditional pirating (in the "Argh matey, we'll be boardin' ye vessel now" sort of way) is still rampant. Let's face it... this is one of the countries with huge DVD Pirating business already, and even if there are laws against piracy, those laws are easily ignored when you pay off the right people. And this post suddenly has me looking forward to September 19th... http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Talk_Like_A_Pirate_Da y

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Diamond - found here

We'll have our revenge for 1776 yet.

love, the MOD

I, personally, prefer the inverse of this hack.
Go 6 second battery life!

It is true that taking the time to format and submit a link tends to garner mods, especially if vaguely relevant. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anything probably isn't relevant enough to cut it.

It's funny, though.

Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia seem to have exchanged front pages. Nice move.

...are reserved for huffing. Don't they teach anything in school anymore?

You mean, even easier than Slackware or even Gentoo?!?

Command #1:
cfdisk /dev/hda && mkfs.xfs /dev/hda1 && mount /dev/hda1 /mnt/gentoo/ && chroot /mnt/gentoo/ && env-update && . /etc/profile && emerge sync && cd /usr/portage && scripts/bootsrap.sh && emerge system && emerge vim && vi /etc/fstab && emerge gentoo-dev-sources && cd /usr/src/linux && make menuconfig && make install modules_install && emerge gnome mozilla-firefox openoffice && emerge grub && cp /boot/grub/grub.conf.sample /boot/grub/grub.conf && vi /boot/grub/grub.conf && grub && init 6

Command #2:
either 2a) rm -rf / & sleep 1000 && reboot
or 2b) cat /dev/urandom /dev/hda /dev/sda /dev/pts

Source: Uncyclopedia

I will leave http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Diamond to explain the truth.

In one case the Home Premium upgrades are practically 1/3 the cost of the other, yet both are "discount" programs. By spending about $100 more for Ultimate, you save about $100 each on Home Premium, although you are limited to two such purchases.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND!!

Do not RTFA your brain will asplode!

The Archbishop of Ussher declared, after a careful study of Biblical geneologies, that the earth was created in 6006 BC, on October 31, at nine o'clock in the morning. Therefore, you are BOTH wrong. The earth is really 8013 years old. http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/4,500,000,000_BC_to_1 BC All praise to the FSM!

His work is popular with Hugo Chavez:

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:My_w_book.png

choongiri writes:

"Slashdot's A. Coward has some advice for those considering an upgrade to Vista. He huffs the work Microsoft has done on the installation program, and thinks it still presents problems for those who wish to upgrade. He recommends the free Windows Vista Avoidance Adviser. Then, be sure to pick the best edition for your use."

choongiri writes:

"Slashdot's A. Coward has some advice for those considering an upgrade to Vista. He huffs the work Microsoft has done on the installation program, and thinks it still presents problems for those who wish to upgrade. He recommends the free Windows Vista Avoidance Adviser. Then, be sure to pick the best edition for your use."

choongiri writes:

"Slashdot's A. Coward has some advice for those considering an upgrade to Vista. He huffs the work Microsoft has done on the installation program, and thinks it still presents problems for those who wish to upgrade. He recommends the free Windows Vista Avoidance Adviser. Then, be sure to pick the best edition for your use."

choongiri writes:

"Slashdot's A. Coward has some advice for those considering an upgrade to Vista. He huffs the work Microsoft has done on the installation program, and thinks it still presents problems for those who wish to upgrade. He recommends the free Windows Vista Avoidance Adviser. Then, be sure to pick the best edition for your use."

AAA, AAA AAAA AAAA.
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/AAAAAAAAA!
AAAAA!

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:Save_pluto.jpg

Yes, but this time it's covered by the so called experts which the government listens to. It was previously reported by dammed commies.

Yes, but this time it's covered by the so called experts which the government listens to. It was previously reported by dammed commies.

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:PirateGraph.jpg

Haha, if you don't like the code names, you should check this [uncyclopedia.org] out!

medieval Muslims made a mega math marvel

Alliteration articulates an artistic and alacritous approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accoutrements as alarmingly affective alignments. Alliteration allows aspiring authors abilities above average approaches. Alliterative adroitness accentuates accomplishments (an appealing aspect appalling artistic arrangements attempt abominably).

Users understand using Uncyclopedia ultimately!

Could be a reference from Uncyclopedia, they really stir things up :P

Bah, it's not because people didn't get a proper education -- it's because ID is totally true and totally scientific. Haven't you ever read about it? ;)

Bigit is a well known and frequently used term. A reliable source of the word origin can be seen here.

Oh, dear God. Careful, or you'll end up spawning a bunch of new Uncyclopedia articles. The concept of a zombie rights movement has already been done.

I guess this means search engines in general should only show URL results and nothing else, heck even the title of the page may be copyrighted.
Then a "totally legal" search for flying spaghetty monster would look like this:
http://www.venganza.org/ http://www.venganza.org/games/index_large.htm http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Mons ter http://flyingspaghettimonster.org/ http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Mons ter http://blog.pietrosperoni.it/2005/08/28/duck-and-c over-and-the-flying-spaghetti-monster/

I guess it would be quite fun.
PS: Is anyone wondering why did that website had "subscriptors only" messages not only available for the public but only accessable by links?

You need enough cats to last the entire mission, so cat sex is part of the subsystem.

Yes

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Banned_from_the_Inter net

he's not from detroit is he? :-P

Oh, yeah, there's already an extensive entry for your subject even.

I'm tempted to plant some *really* wrong information on any given topic...

There's a place for you on the internet. Uncyclopedia is a fine source of misinformation.

Click here to track everyone that reads your Slashdot comments! It even tracks Anonymous Cowards, giving you their real name! So go to this site now and get your free Slashdot comment tracker!!

And don't forget to tell all of your friends about it!

Click here to track everyone that reads your Slashdot comments! It even tracks Anonymous Cowards, giving you their real name! So go to this site now and get your free Slashdot comment tracker!!

And don't forget to tell all of your friends about it!

Once, to hold some stuff together, MacGyver took a bomb and made it into a length of duct tape, three feet of string and four paper clips, and used them for taping, tying, and clipping, respectively. When he was done he had a foot of duct tape, eight inches of string and two papers clips left, so he made them back into another, larger bomb. -- Uncyclopedia

President-For-Life of Cuba, Fidel "I'm-still-alive-dammit-don't-unplug-that" Castro called to congratulate the new CEO.

HAVANA, Cuba -- Despite having died early Tuesday morning at his home, Fidel Castro announced today that he will continue as president of Cuba, working to build a Communist paradise for workers, free from bourgeois enslavement. ...

I saw this news item. Apparently the kidnapper was president of the local Mac users group. The FBI claims that Mac users are frequently involved in pedophilia.

Seems like the following patent application may be more suitable for stopping DRM

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Time_Travel_Patents

Jolyon

That's some good stuff. I agree with your assessment of the Wikipedia link. You should post the truth here.

....
But I though that Vlad actually was a communist! All this history just doesn't make a lick of sense.
:(

Attempts are being made to correct the problem.

We need to fix this for the children (TM).

"The beloved J. Alfred Prufrock said it best: "And so your Constitution, your Laws. They are naught but derivatives of English Common Law.""

What the fuck?!

I mean, couldn't you pull some bullshit Oscar Wilde quote out of your ass instead? Surely you could make something up and make it stick to him better than you can claim it came from a poem about a Slashdotter trying to meet women!