Domain: whysanity.net
Stories and comments across the archive that link to whysanity.net.
Comments · 32
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Re:I hope it was an NSA Agent
To respond to your soapbox, I refer you to Clerks:
Blue-Collar Man: Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt, but what were you talking about?
Randal: The ending of Return of the Jedi.
Dante: My friend is trying to convince me that any contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when the space station was destroyed by the rebels.
Blue-Collar Man: Well, I'm a contractor myself. I'm a roofer... (digs into pocket and produces business card) Dunn and Reddy Home Improvements. And speaking as a roofer, I can say that a roofer's personal politics come heavily into play when choosing jobs.
Randal: Like when?
Blue-Collar Man: Three months ago I was offered a job up in the hills. A beautiful house with tons of property. It was a simple reshingling job, but I was told that if it was finished within a day, my price would be doubled. Then I realized whose house it was.
Dante: Whose house was it?
Blue-Collar Man: Dominick Bambino's.
Randal: "Babyface" Bambino? The gangster?
Blue-Collar Man: The same. The money was right, but the risk was too big. I knew who he was, and based on that, I passed the job on to a friend of mine.
Dante: Based on personal politics.
Blue-Collar Man: Right. And that week, the Foresci family put a hit on Babyface's house. My friend was shot and killed. He wasn't even finished shingling.
Randal: No way!
Blue-Collar Man: (paying for coffee) I'm alive because I knew there were risks involved taking on that particular client. My friend wasn't so lucky. (pauses to reflect) You know, any contractor willing to work on that Death Star knew the risks. If they were killed, it was their own fault. A roofer listens to this... (taps his heart) not his wallet.I'm not trying to say that everyone working for the NSA should be killed, but any NSA employee who hasn't quit their job since Snowden is on morally dubious ground at best, regardless of whether they're part of the elite hacking team, a security guard, a janitor, or a roofer.
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Re:Star Wars economy
Wonder how they built the Death Star and all those massive ships? Droids.
Obviously you've never watched Clerks.
A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.
In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms. -
It IS understandable why they are spying there.
Belgium was the home of the most notorious super villains EVAR.
And the last thing the US needs is to be blackmailed again for *dum-dum DAH* ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS!
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Re:Anybody else think the trailers were ridiculous
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Re:5000 soldiers
Try searching for Kevin Smith and Clerks first. Or just read this: http://www.whysanity.net/monos/clerks5.html
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Re:What are they trying to prove at this point?
Look, if the mafia sets up shop in your neighborhood but you choose to work with them, don't complain if you get hurt when the rest of the community fights back.
Perfect analogy. People should learn to not do business with immoral, corrupt corporations like Sony. Since the rootkit saga I vowed to never give a single penny to Sony again and I stuck with it.
This also makes me think of the Death Star argument from Clerks.
Blue-Collar Man: Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt, but what were you talking about?
Randal: The ending of Return of the Jedi.
Dante: My friend is trying to convince me that any contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when the space station was destroyed by the rebels.
Blue-Collar Man: Well, I'm a contractor myself. I'm a roofer... (digs into pocket and produces business card) Dunn and Reddy Home Improvements. And speaking as a roofer, I can say that a roofer's personal politics come heavily into play when choosing jobs.
Randal: Like when?
Blue-Collar Man: Three months ago I was offered a job up in the hills. A beautiful house with tons of property. It was a simple reshingling job, but I was told that if it was finished within a day, my price would be doubled. Then I realized whose house it was.
Dante: Whose house was it?
Blue-Collar Man: Dominick Bambino's.
Randal: "Babyface" Bambino? The gangster?
Blue-Collar Man: The same. The money was right, but the risk was too big. I knew who he was, and based on that, I passed the job on to a friend of mine.
Dante: Based on personal politics.
Blue-Collar Man: Right. And that week, the Foresci family put a hit on Babyface's house. My friend was shot and killed. He wasn't even finished shingling.
Randal: No way!
Blue-Collar Man: (paying for coffee) I'm alive because I knew there were risks involved taking on that particular client. My friend wasn't so lucky. (pauses to reflect) You know, any contractor willing to work on that Death Star knew the risks. If they were killed, it was their own fault. A roofer listens to this... (taps his heart) not his wallet. -
The nature of God
As the great 20th century philosopher Adams pointed out, if you could prove God existed he would disappear into a puff of logic.
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Inflationary Language
Victor Borge: Many years ago in Denmark we had inflation, and you are familiar with that problem. In inflation, we have numbers rising. Prices go up. Anything that has to do with money goes up...except the language. See, we have hidden numbers in the words like "wonderful," "before," "create," "tenderly." All these numbers can be inflated and meet the economy, you know, by rising to the occcassion. I suggest we add one to each of these numbers to be prepared. For example "wonderful" would be "two-derful." Before would be Be-five. Create, cre-nine. Tenderly should be eleven-derly. A Leiutenant would be a Leiut-eleven-ant. A sentance like, "I ate a tenderloin with my fork" would be "I nine an elevenderloin with my five-k." And so on and so fifth. I have a book here that I have brought, I have a story here that I would like to read to you so that you can get an idea of Inflationary Language, how it sounds when it's being used:
Twice upon a time, there lived in Sunny Califivenia a young man named Bob. He was a third leiutelevenant in the US Air Fiveces. Bob had been fond of Anna, his one-and-a-half sister, ever since she saw the light of day for the second time. And all three of them were proud of the fact that two of his fivefathers had been among the crenineders of the US Constithreetion.
They were dining on the terrace. "Anna," he said as he took a bite of a marininded herring, "You look twoderful threenight. You never looked that lovely befive." Anna looked twoderful, despite of the illness from which she had not yet recupininded. "Yes," repeated Bob, "You look twoderful threenight...but you have three of the saddest eyes I have ever seen."
The table was tastefully deconinded with Anna's favorite flowers: Threelips. They were now talking about Anna's asseten husband, from whom she was sepeninded. While on the radio, an Irish elevenor sang "Tea For Three." it was midnight; A clock in the distance struck thirteen. And suddenly, there in the moonlight stood her husband Don Two, obviously intoxicnineded.
"Anna," he said, "Fivegive me. I am only young twice and you are my two and only." Bob jumped to his feet, "Get out of here, you three-faced triplecrosser!" But Anna warned, "Watch out, Bob. He is an officer." "Yes, he is two. But I am two three!"
Anytwo five elevennis?
"All right," said Don Two as he wiped his fivehead. He then left and when he was one-and-a-halfway through the revolving door, he muttered, "I'll go back to Elevennessee and be double again. Farewell, Anna. Three-de-loo, three-de-loo.Credits: Victor Borge,
via http://www.whysanity.net/monos/victor_borge.html -
Re:Finally surf the WWW with FFF
You're probably thinking of "Fox Force Five", from Pulp Fiction
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Oh the Horror ...
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Re:Does anybody know what the armor does?
Randal is that you?
http://www.whysanity.net/monos/clerks5.html -
Re:Still pleasantly surprised by human nature
While that would be horrible and I can't condone the taking of innocent lives (such as the Pepsi machine refill guy who happens to be there at that moment)
I dunno - is someone supplying aid and comfort to a organization of Pure Concentrated Evil really "innocent"?
It's sort of like the contractors on the Death Star. A Pepsi machine refill guy's personal politics come heavily into play when choosing jobs.
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Re:This may be unfair to SCO's other creditors!
This goes back to the whole "death star contractors" debate from the movie Clerks (link here), and the important point: "You know, any contractor willing to work on that Death Star knew the risks. If they were killed, it was their own fault.". Those people chose to work for a company that was in a very obviously unethical position, and taking a high-risk path. The ones who wanted long term employment should have jumped ship at the first opportunity, and if they chose to stick with the rotted carcass and got burned by it, that's their fault, not IBM's, not Novell's, and definitely not judge Kimball's.
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Re:Greenpeace?drinking only pure grain alcohol
From Dr. Strangelove http://www.filmsite.org/drst.html
Ripper: And as human beings, you and I need fresh, pure water to replenish our precious bodily fluids.
Clearly you need to preserve your Purity of Essence http://www.whysanity.net/monos/strange2.html Turgidson: The duty officer asked General Ripper to confirm the fact the he had issued the go code and he said, "Yes gentlemen, they are on their way in and no one can bring them back. For the sake of our country and our way of life, I suggest you get the rest of SAC in after them, otherwise we will be totally destroyed by red retaliation. My boys will give you the best kind of start, fourteen hundred megatons worth, and you sure as hell won't stop them now. So let's get going. There's no other choice. God willing, we will prevail in peace and freedom from fear and in true health through the purity and essence of our natural fluids. God bless you all." Then he hung up. We're still trying to figure out the meaning of that last phrase, sir.
Mandrake: Yes. (he begins to chuckle nervously)
Ripper: Are you beginning to understand?
Mandrake: Yes. (more laughter)
Ripper: Mandrake. Mandrake, have you never wondered why I drink only distilled water, or rain water, and only pure-grain alcohol?
Mandrake: Well, it did occur to me, Jack, yes.
Ripper: Have you ever heard of a thing called fluoridation. Fluoridation of water?
Mandrake: Uh? Yes, I-I have heard of that, Jack, yes. Yes.
Ripper: Well, do you know what it is?
Mandrake: No, no I don't know what it is, no.
Ripper: Do you realize that fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous Communist plot we have ever had to face? -
Re:More likely
> Regardless of how advanced ANY civilization gets, it will be limited by POLITICS and the SPEED of LIGHT
Bzzt, Thx for playing.
First all, to travel faster then light, you shift dimensions.
Secondly, not all advanced civilizations are hamstrung by politics the way our primitive civilizations are. When people internalize the Law, they don't _need_ a government to babysit for them. The movie K-Pax talks a little about this.
Thirdly, we've ALREADY had off world civilizations visit us -- the world is simply not ready to have their paradigm of Themselves, God, Life, and How They-Fit-In-The-Universe completely blown away. To paraphrase a few lines: You can't HANDLE the TRUTH! But since most people won't believe anything unless it comes from people who signed NDAs at the Never-A-Straight-Answer run by the NSA, one such proof is here
Could you imagine the mass pandemonium once they discover "man-made" artifacts on another planet? -
Re:Search Where?> What do yo mean you need to search for a laptop?
> You need to search where?
> That doesn't even make sense!It does, for a USB thumbdrive.
~wavy lines, a bombed-out shack in post-Civil-War-II America~
This USB keychain I got here was first purchased by your great-grandfather to hold pictures he took during the First Gulf War. It was bought in a Best Buy in Knoxville, Tennessee. Made by the first company to ever make USB thumbdrives. Up till then people just carried floppy disks that was read by magnets. It was bought by private Doughboy Ernie Coolidge on the day he set sail for Iraq. It was your great-grandfather's USB thumbdrive and he carried it everyday he was in that war.
When he had done his duty, he went home to your great-grandmother, took the thumbdrive out of his pocket, put it an empty dresser drawer, and in that can it stayed 'til your granddad Dane Coolidge was called upon by his country to go overseas and fight the Ay-rabs once again. This time they called it The First Global War On Terror. Your great-grandfather gave this watch to your granddad for good luck. Unfortunately, Dane's luck wasn't as good as his old man's. Dane was a Marine and he was killed -- along with the other Marines at the battle of Baghdad. Your granddad was facing death, he knew it. None of those boys had any illusions about ever leavin' the Green Zone alive. So three days before the Ay-rabs retook the Green Zone, your granddad asked a gunner on an Air Force transport name of Winocki, a man he had never met before in his life, to deliver to his infant son, who he'd never seen in the flesh, his USB thumbdrive. Three days later, your granddad was dead.
But Winocki kept his word. After the First Global War on Terror was over, he paid a visit to your grandmother, delivering to your infant father, his Dad's USB thumbdrive. This thumbdrive.
This thumbdrive was in Daddy's pocket during the Second Civil War when he was flyin' to Canada. He was captured at the airport, which was a place that was sorta like bein' in a Halliburton prison camp. He knew if the TSA ever saw the thumbdrive it'd be confiscated, taken away. The way your Dad looked at it, that thumbdrive was your birthright. He'd be damned if any bureaucrats were gonna put their greasy hands on his boy's birthright.
So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long hours, he wore this thumbdrive up his ass. Then he died of a perforated colon, but before he did he gave me the thumbdrive. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of plastic and silicon up my ass two more hours. Then, after a total of seven hours in secondary inspection, I was sent on home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.
- With apologies to Tarantino
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"Oh, have I got your attention now?""
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Five is right out!
Definitely Michael Palin reading the holy handgrenade how-to from the Book of Armaments
wmv file -
Re:Forbidden?
"If the alien had 2 separate glands that each spat out the components of a super-acid"
Yep, the use of two glands is how the bombardier beetle sprays 100degC acid (and other nasty stuff) out of their arse.
Offtopic - Search google for "bombardier beetle" and 3 out of the first 4 hits declare it to be "proof" that evolution is wrong. Have these people never heard of the babelfish? -
Re:Three Cheers!
"If I find your post sufficiently objectionable, should I be permitted to kill you too?"
Hmmm, a single post to Slashdot being compared to some professional asshat who spammed millions of people and mail servers around the world. Now THAT'S Slashdot for you.
As for the spammer, I gave you this abridged Clerks retort:
Blue-Collar Man: Excuse me. I don't mean to interrupt, but what were you talking about?
Randal: The ending of Return of the Jedi.
Dante: My friend is trying to convince me that any contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when the space station was destroyed by the rebels.
Blue-Collar Man: Well, I'm a contractor myself. I'm a roofer... (digs into pocket and produces business card) Dunn and Reddy Home Improvements. And speaking as a roofer, I can say that a roofer's personal politics come heavily into play when choosing jobs.
Randal: Like when?
Blue-Collar Man: Three months ago I was offered a job up in the hills. A beautiful house with tons of property. It was a simple reshingling job, but I was told that if it was finished within a day, my price would be doubled. Then I realized whose house it was.
Dante: Whose house was it?
Blue-Collar Man: Dominick Bambino's.
Randal: "Babyface" Bambino? The gangster?
Blue-Collar Man: The same. The money was right, but the risk was too big. I knew who he was, and based on that, I passed the job on to a friend of mine.
Dante: Based on personal politics.
Blue-Collar Man: Right. And that week, the Foresci family put a hit on Babyface's house. My friend was shot and killed. He wasn't even finished shingling.
Randal: No way!
Blue-Collar Man: (paying for coffee) I'm alive because I knew there were risks involved taking on that particular client. My friend wasn't so lucky. (pauses to reflect) You know, any contractor willing to work on that Death Star knew the risks. If they were killed, it was their own fault. A roofer listens to this... (taps his heart) not his wallet.
The spammer should have listened to the roofer. -
Re:Good 'switch' argument
I know you're joking but FYI it's a quote from the (very good) movie Network.
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Re:Maybe Yes, maybe a little of No
People do think of this, Kevin Smith's "Clerks" movie being the best example I've heard of:
http://www.whysanity.net/monos/clerks5.html
Back on point, there are some who are desensitized by wiping out virtual opponents (I get the urge to take out newts and hope for the mild buzz, myself... :) ) -- but if the game is rated Mature and the stores are required to card people who are buying it then either there are some terribly impressionable 18+ year olds out there who haven't found their cult yet... or some parents need to do a better job of screening what they buy their kids. Neither scenario means that we need the government involved. -
You're so vain
You probably thought that post was about you. =)
What's funny is that I don't think I read any of your posts. I got disgusted with just a lot of the usual slashdot bullshit. Yeah, I know. I must be new here. But it looks like I hit a nerve? =)
Sure, I can think of examples of immoral science. Nazi experiments on people in concentration camps, for one (Godwin forgive me). But there is nothing unethical with what those scientists in China did, nor in Minnesota, nor what the Stanford scinetists propose to do.
As far as the ethical opinions expressed in the article go, I think they can be summed up thusly:
Rifkin: Free the lab mice. They are our brothers! Let's play Civ III instead.
Magnus: While there is potential for ethical abuse in how such chimeras might be used, we don't know of anyone contemplating research that might cross this line.
Cohen: Direct quote: "It would deny that there is something distinctive and valuable about human beings that ought to be honored and protected." Translation: The purity and essence of our natural fluids will be diminished and corrupted by unclean beasts and this should be banned.
Weissman: Oh shit! Here comes the God Squad!
Cheshire: We might try to set a limit, then not realize we passed that limit until it's too late. [He's part of the God Squad, but he's engaged in these types of experiments, so he either knows he's already going to hell, or he wants to be able to say that what he did is OK, but that others might go to hell if they " violate the integrity of humanity or of animal life".] -
Re:Look, it's simple...
("Fuck the RIAA" you say? Those companies employ a lot of people... Folks just trying to feed their kids and live life, just like most people).
Ahh yes, the Death Star Contractor conundrum. -
Are you sure?
Are you sure you want to do that? Sounds pretty risky to me.
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Re:Daddy's USB Drive
How can you not recognize one of the greatest movie monologues of all time. Barbarian.
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Re:not true
They are goons, I hope their people finally get hip and revolt against those goons...we suck as bad as any other bogus dictator run nation.
Man, you got that right. Ever heard of this?: We're at that awkward stage in our history where it's too late to fix things by voting, but it's still too early to just shoot the bastards. Can't remember where I saw that(in fact, I'm sure I posted it more than once before...to somebody...don't remember who. This drinking to forget thing is really working well.), but I do like it. I don't know. With the World Bank, Citicorp, IMF, whatever running the show, this whole talk about "nations ansd sovereignty" has been reduced to an act of mental masturbation.(this I did post before) Kinda why I ragged on people earlier about this whole thread being off topic. But since it grew so large, I figured, what the heck, I'll join in on the fun. After all, it is a favorite subject of mine.
On the matter of the original story, I wasn't real impressed. China buys a bunch of computers, cluster them all together. Now they have a fast computer. Ok, now what? Did anyone think they weren't capable of it? Are they going to make an animated movie called "Finding Hoffa"? Let me know when they do it in Barrow, Alaska. All those AMD's will melt the ice cap for sure. -
Re:Obligatory Jurassic Park QuoteI cheated. Though it really is a great dramatic monologue, and I try to use it for auditions whenever they're looking for the super-intelligent scientist type. The Ian Malcolm character is a wealth of quoteable quotes. Kudos to Michael Crichton.
Anybody hear that? It's an... It's an impact tremor, that's what it is... I'm fairly alarmed here.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: There. Look at this. See? See? I'm right again. Nobody could've predicted that Dr. Grant would suddenly, suddenly jump out of a moving vehicle.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Alan? Alan!
[Jumps out of the vehicle]
Dr. Ian Malcolm: There's, another example. See, here I'm now by myself, uh, er, talking to myself. That's, that's chaos theory.
Dr. Ian Malcolm: There. Look at this. See? See? I'm right again. Nobody could've predicted that Dr. Grant would suddenly, suddenly jump out of a moving vehicle. Dr. Ellie Sattler: Alan? Alan! [Jumps out of the vehicle] Dr. Ian Malcolm: There's, another example. See, here I'm now by myself, uh, er, talking to myself. That's, that's chaos theory.
. . . and best of all . . .
God help us; we're in the hands of engineers.
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Re:pure alcohol as fuel
...you simply don't have a clue about what is life in a 3rd world country.
Oh, c'mon...doesn't Mexico count? Been living here off and on for over twenty years. Some of those years in the Sonoran Desert, and I hope they don't cover it with algae :-)
I go to my job walking, not driving - I even moved to be able to do that.
I did precisely the same thing, even in the states. I now refuse to take a job that requires driving to work. Even when I didn't walk, I used mass transit. I did use a van for traveling in Mexico for a couple of years(it was also my "house"). The "your" in do your part was more of an editorial "your". You and I are doing what we can as individuals. That's all I could ever ask for. Other than "spreading the word" and hope people take it to heart. In no way am I asking for people to go hungry. Besides, it's not an "either or" situation. I also understand that Brasil can't go around stealing resources from others like the states does. So, in many ways "you're on your own" and nobody's coming to help, unless you can flash a big wad of 100's
If it's (the clear cutting) being done by outlaws(which I have no doubt it is. I am aware of some of the enviromental laws down there. They actually made the news(outside the states anyway)), maybe the gov't shouldn't have any trouble allowing "volunteers"(vigilantes?) to take care of the problem. The outlaws have theirs. But if the good guys go in with gov't backing... On a side note, The gov't has a sizable military. Including an air force. What are they using it for? Don't answer that. I might not be able to "handle the truth". :-)
Another side note. Since we are all "colonies" of the World Bank or WMF, whatever the hell they call themselves these days, and they are part if Citicorp I suspect. Any talk of " sovereignty" has been reduced to an exercise in mental masturbation. A favorite speech of mine from those "commies" in Hollywood here From the movie Network, 1976.
No longer AC...Let's go to a journal. I'm pretty lazy, but I'll try to whip one up if you like, unless you prefer to have it on your page. -
Re:"Conspiracy Theory" reference, or more?
the monologue in Six Degrees of Separation --damn fine piece of screenwriting. Good movie. But there must be earlier references.
Could have sworn there was a reference in Slacker. Hmm. Note to self: Get the unabridged version.
My Uncle's best friend who's like this screenwriter guy said Catcher was supposed to be the book marked up for the police detectives to find in Heathers, but Moby Dick was substituted. Ryder was ticked cause Catcher in the Rye was like her favorite book. Scary. Would have loved to have seen the true, intended indending, where the school blows up--but no, can't have that in theatres nationwide. No. You can still find it on eDonkey, the director's cut,--but DON'T DOWNLOAD IT, unless you want Valenti's boys knocking down your door. Think I'm kidding? No, it's true. There's a reason old J.D. hid out in that bunker of his. He wasn't hiding from the public or the law (perse). He was hiding from Valenti's crew. The story goes Salinger absolutely refused to talk about licensing the rights unless he could get like 12 gross points, and that was enough to make Charles Bludhord blow a gasket--back when he was CEO of Gulf & Western (The conglomerate that owned Paramount Studios among other things), and he was having such a hard time trying to keep that Coppola kid from revealing any family secrets, so he was like on the verge of apoplexy every waking minute anyway, and the Salinger thing was like the straw that broke the camel's back--so he sicked Valenti's thugs on him, and Salinger just went underground, which suited his temperament anyway so it wasn't *that* oddball. No, you're not going to read about that in any Joyce Maynard book, but you will know what happened if you watch Birdy--interesting name, "Nick Cage,"--that's all I'm going to say about it. I guess combat does weird things to people, and we civilians will never adequately know what bonding guys like Valenti and Salinger went through, and we can only speculate about what could have broken it--Greed, sure, but you have to be thinking cherchez la femme. But whatever it was Valenti's dogs really did a number on old J.D, and they are still exacting revenge so don't download that file, okay? Hey, are you reading this on a public terminal? What are you thinking? Logout now!
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No longer is it shite being Scottish!
As Renton pointed out:
Tommy (looking at the hills): "Doesn't it make you proud to be Scottish?"
Renton (drunk, 'clean,' and pissed off): "It's shite being Scottish! We're the lowest of the low! The scum of the fucking Earth! The most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization! Some people hate English. I don't! They're just wankers! We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers! Can't even find a decent culture to be colonized by! We're ruled by effete arseholes! It's a shite state of affairs to be in, Tommy! And all the fresh air in the world won't make any fucking difference."
Can't wait for Irving Welsh to start blogging...
(A.C. takes his buprenorphine & shuts up) -
A Holiday Wish
I think steve martin said it best, when he said this